How to Easily Overcome Social Anxiety - Prof. Jordan Peterson
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- Опубліковано 22 лип 2017
- For many this should be one of the most insightful points in Dr. Peterson’s lectures. In less than five minutes he puts the key to overcoming social anxiety in plain words.
This clip is an excerpt of Jordan Peterson’s psychology lecture “2017 Maps of Meaning 8: Neuropsychology of Symbolic Representation” at the University of Toronto. You can watch it in its entirety here:
• 2017 Maps of Meaning 0...
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Please visit www.psyche-matters.net for categorized clips and more Jordan B. Peterson related content!
If you find Dr. Peterson's lectures helpful you might be interessted to know that his self narrated audiobooks “12 Rules for Life”
His words are so important that he carries 2 microphones on his shirt
I'm just gonna repeat something I heard a woman say once, "You're not the protagonist in anyone else's story, you're just a secondary character." And it's true, someone might joke about something you said or did for a minute and move on, you're not the center of their universe. Also that Eleanor Roosevelt quote comes to mind, "You wouldn't worry so much about what others thinkof you if you realize how seldom they do."
“Let’s say you’re socially anxious“
I realized that my social anxiety has made me quite selfish in a sense that i always keep looking at myself, always think about myself, and always try to protect myself that I never have any idea of how others feel, which is why I miss out on a lot of social opportunities because I shut myself out. I always think that I'm this main character or I'm so important in my head that everyone will literally be judging me with every move, that I have become egocentric and strict with the unrealistically ideal kind of person I hold up for myself to follow.
I struggled with social anxiety until I was 18 years old. I never went to any party or reunion, never even had a conversation with a girl (I went to a boys only high school). I also missed very important memories such as the prom, very depressed. I was terrified of social situations because of my low self esteem and abusive childhood. What helped me the most was, as JP says, facing the monster upfront. I just went to that first party even though I was very ashamed to do it for the first time at 18. I recommend everyone to expose yourself to your fear in incremental quantities. Start small. And keep exposing yourself progressively to bigger social situations. You’ll get there. Today I’m almost 24 years old and happy to say I have a very successful social life :)
I love how he didn't break eye contact with that one student as he was talking about anxiety. He just gave him anxiety immediately
Face your fears head on. I’m a 30 year old 6’4” man still battling social anxiety. He’s right with looking directly at the monster. Looking right at the monster, let alone, approaching the monster is so hard, but it helps so much. Keep making yourself uncomfortable (a good amount before a panic attack), and embrace the suffering needed to prevail. By this time next year, I will have conquered my social anxiety.
I'm a veteran, was actually addicted to alcohol and cigarettes. I suffered severe anxiety and mental disorder. Got diagnosed with ADHD. Not until my son recommended me to psilocybin mushrooms treatment. Psilocybin treatment saved my life honestly. 8 years totally clean. This is something that really need to be use globally to help people with related health challenges.
"You go to a party, the party is a monster!" Sheesh, that escalated.
Imagine being the person that's being stared at in these lectures
Would have been nice to know how to deal with social anxiety before it took away my childhood/teenhood and left me with a life of traumatic memories and mental illnesses.
Overcoming is usually extremely simple. Not easy at all but simple. You need to change your mindset, be willing to embrace discomfort, be willing to be judged and let go of what your ego is telling you to hide and avoid. Uncomfortable emotions are not something to avoid, rather something to move towards; only then can you see what it is you fear for what it is rather than what your head has made it out to be. Eventually you will have confronted your fears enough times that your mind will be reconditioned to believe that it can do hard things and will be ok, and that it doesnt matter what other people think of you. You have the ability to be free and live a joyful, unconstrained life but only if youre willing to stand up for yourself and take action toward not doing what feels good or makes you feel comfort, rather what allows you to feel healthy levels of discomfort that you can move through and grow from. Once you start to see results the momentum will start to build and youll be knocking down obstacles that you never thought possible. If you believe its possible then it can be done, but only you can do it.
"look at people."
I’m still on the bit where you try and get invited to the party
Here are my takeaways from the video:
All of my life up until 3 years ago I had always dealt with social anxiety. Some moments are worse than others but I always reacted the exact way Mr. Peterson described. But by putting myself in anxiety inducing situations over a long period of time, it helped control my social anxiety. I think it will never go away but understanding when it's happening and being mentally strong enough to assess and push through is super important for me.
I overcome my social anxiety by pretending I don’t have it. I can outwardly function in social situations but inside I’m a mess and my main thought is to find the nearest exit and get the hell out of there but I keep that feeling locked down deep inside. This is something I’ve had to force myself to learn because my career requires me to be social but at the end of the day I enjoy going home and hanging out with my 2 German Shepherds.
“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habits. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny.”- Lao-Tze
As a music major who felt socially awkward during repeated opportunities for performance, the discovery that you could "play to one member of the crowd" was immensely helpful.