The Most Common Body Language Problem - Eye Contact
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- Опубліковано 8 жов 2024
- Eye contact is the most common body language aspect that you need to actively improve on. There are tons of benefits if you can get it just right.
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that staring contest will get you beat up from where i'm from...
True. Even in Zurich some people would not like it very much ;-)
not if u give smile. but men to men eye contact is useless though.
but with women, we might have chance to score.
Haha. Imagine some guy walking down the street staring at each person. He won't last long.
Ooga booga
If they ask U why ur staring lik that tell them that they reminded U of someone n just walk away... :)
Yes! Eye contact improvement has changed my life. Took me a yr to get better and improve and for most of my life, I didnt even notice I was avoiding eye contact for most of my conversations. Practice practice practice, you will get better at it watch. You will notice things in people you never noticed before. E.g. other people using eye contact to try to intimidate you.
what if I met a person who is playing this game too? well we'll be staring til our eyes hurt af then
You'll be standing in the middle of the street staring at a stranger , that'sa great moment wd
you will create intense sexual tension
gerrapk what if it’s a dude
Kazebunto wKaz's the problem 🙂
ALSO, it's important to emphasize keeping ~80/20 eye contact WHILE YOU ARE SPEAKING and not just while you're listening to someone. Personally, this is what I need to work on. It sometimes comes from an insecurity that others don't care about what I have to say.
underated channel. You deserve way more subscribers
And you deserve at least 1 reply. Here you go...
After 6 months
Savage bro. You deserve at least 1 reply ;)
uabir And you deserve a reply as well...
After 6 months
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think 'Other Rules to Follow' #3 is backwards. Maintaining eye contact is more important when listening because it demonstrates that you're paying attention, and diverting eye contact becomes more necessary when you're talking because it helps you think and recall facts.
My thought exactly! I had to replay that part of the video because I assumed that I misheard him.
Great advice as always! I wanna add something: focusing on just one eye is the way to go - however if you want to speak to the right side of the brain (which is probably what you wanna be doing) you might want to look into the left eye. If holding strong eye contact is tough for you, just look right between the eyes, the other person will most likely still feel like you're looking them into the eyes. :)
I'm that kid who makes too much eye contact
Teacher: looks at you
Me: looks em in the eye
Teacher: *makes long eye contact whilst discussing to look intimidating*
Me: YEAH BICH I AIN'T SCARED *stares*
I'M A POTATOH and i am the one who does not do it at all.
i shoud take the improvement pill!
I am that one too
And here I am who can't make eye contact even for 2/10th of second .I feel so uncomfortable . I feel like am staring on other person , I feel awkward to be honest .I tried alot to be comfortable while looking at other person or while talking/listening to them ..but does not work for me ..
Now have you overcome this ?
How annoying xd
I love that you add in challenges for us to carry out, It really helps put it to action and get the ball rolling. Knowledge is worthless without action. So it's nice to see you are encouraging action while also providing us with the knowledge.
love every vid. so informative. great job buddy. i want to see you reach great height. by the way do you do these vids by yourself
Improvement Pill you did it! I'm proud of you man!
Yea I have watched almost all of your videos just today, already subscribed and notifications on!!! And I immediately bought "Tools of Titans" after your review. Thanks for all the great work and please keep it up!!!!!!!!
- from an actual person who's life is benefiting due to your amazing creative work :)
"kid words"
I love you.
To improve my eye contact skills, I used to, and still do, recite the eye color of the person who I just have talked to -- minutes and even hours after the interaction.
The eye contact game: seems a good way to get the shit beat out of you.
Improvement Pill Really? Over here in Britain it can start punch-ups, or at least a beta male stare-down, which can be quite funny. I've seen a few guys get a kick in the teeth for prolonging eye contact with the wrong dude. It can seem adversarial.
Nano Black Yup, I get this. But I'm talking about making eye contact with EVERYBODY, something that seems to be espoused here. Male OR female. This can be asking for a world of shit. As I've said, make prolonged eye contact with the wrong guy, then make sure you can fight. It's an observation is all. It looks like you're being challenged. I wonder if the video's producer understands this.
Michael Egan They do.
but youre understanding it out of context. He is referring to eye contact with people that you are TALKING to. Not random people you walk by
Did you really watch the whole video dude?
Staring Contest - How to play
-Make eye contact with everyone that you pass by
-Don't be the first one to break contact
Michael Egan did you mean an alpha male stare down?
Another tip is to look for the friendly eye of the two and focus on that one. All people have two different expressions in their eyes. One is more analytical and dominant, the other more kind. Try to focus on the latter one. First you feel you tend to get pulled to the dominant eye but with practice it will help a lot.
Thank you for the great video!! but playing the staring contest when you're a young woman is risky and brings unwanted attention :(
Ha ha, very funny 😂
Just look at women
Good job on the recent uploads. Keep it up.
Damn!,Now I will be so conscious about eye contact, never thought it mattered so much, Thanks!
I just wanted to say Thanks very much man your videos are really helpful!
I've recently discovered you and just want to say thank you so much. Your channel has quickly become one of my favourites.
Entertaining and extremely productive, thank you so much.
Tried to hold eye contact with some dude, he looked at me with a mean look; so I had to look away =/
xDDD
Strong eye contact with the opposite sex . I ain't looking at dudes unless I'm speaking to one .
Have been playing that game of eye contact for quite a while already. it sure works, i now hold eye conetact for much much longer, and i next to never lose the game anymore. it has done wonders for me atleast, loving the videos :)
before i watched your video, i just thought that it was my imagination that my classmate's eyes was shining brightly everytime he looked directly into my eyes. oh god! so we can really know that whether someone likes us not not just through their eyes??? thanks a lots for your video. and your voice is really beautiful ^^
I graduated from college in Communication Studies but ImprovementPill is the Legit Schoolmaster
you have no idea how much this helps me. law of averages man, keep it up
Staring contest wont be possible in India. Being the second most populated country in the world, it will be too hard to make an contact with everyone on the street...hahaha
And the girls shouting "rape"!
@@aquahorns8995 not funny
I live in Japan, and it's considered impolite to make too much eye contact here.
So I wonder how I should approach it :/
Man this is the best channel
Great video, taught me a lot! I would love it if you could go on to make another body language video regarding hand motions.
The most useful video for me. Thank you very much!
I loose my lot of appartunities in life be z of eye contact... thank u for ur useful suggestions...
A question on a side that most people overlook.
What can a person with Asperger's/High functioning autism do to help stop the instany anxiety attacks that occur with eye contact?
Wonderful vids, I am sure they have helped many, and I have learned a few things myself, but I am desperately seeking help with the autism side of social disorders. Many of the normal help videos just dont work for us. Many of us simply can't make eye contact, or read body language, or be able to come up with the proper follow up questions to keep a conversation flowing to reach past small talk... because we are just different.
One side of all this that really sucks, is that many of us with differences are expected to change to fit in. To learn the norm. Changing who we are just to make others happy is exhausting enough on its own, on top of all the other things we have to focus on to live a "normal" acceptable life. Sorry to rant, just frustrated.
spud69g im actually an autistic person as well. Even when my parents have not told me anything, I have always felt that there was something wrong with myself as I did not have many friends and holding eye contact with others is extremely painful for me. However, there are social courses specifically catered to people with autism/Asperger's syndrome so if you want to improve on your social skills you can join them.
Alicia Tan a question to both yourself and the original poster, as someone with mild aspergers, why do you think we find eye contact so immensely significant to the point of discomfort? Too personal maybe?
spud69g I have asperger's and have suffered the same problems.
I personally did not like the way most of my interactions took place. I started being more observant in people's body and verbal language, but for a while I didn't know what to do with that information.
Eventually I started playing around with this new knowledge, doing or saying things to see what reactions I get. I also started watching lots of UA-cam videos like these and others about psychology, philosophy, etc. which gave an edge to my ability.
Before I did all of this I was confused and I wore my asperger's diagnosis like a badge of honor. I knew I wanted my social standing to change but I didn't know what was right or wrong and I usually ended up making things worse by trying to improve them.
By learning body movement, how to control my emotions, how my actions and what I say affect people, and so much more I'm able to perform more neurotypically.
It takes time it really does. I mean think about it, you're changing who you are fundamentally. But when you start figuring these things out and make progress you'll be able to see those qualities in yourself and others, and for me this gave me clarity and a much more enriching life.
J. H. It’s because the whole proces of eye-contact, adapting your facial expression and body posture is a very conscious process for us. It requires attention and effort. Generally for NT’ers it’s a subconscious process. Just like breathing: you can control your breath but when you don’t pay attention to it your autonomous nervous system does it for you.
Since it’s not automatic for us it requires a lot of effort on our part especially since we can never look 100% natural. The possibilities for getting it “wrong” are endless and society usually punishes that harshly. Hence the anxiety.
It’s strange if you think about it: we’re being punished for being unable to perfectly mimic unconscious behavior of others. And since it’s effortless for them they (generalizing here, I’m aware) refuse to acknowledge the accomplishment it actually is if we get even sóme of it right.
Pro-tip for autists: wear sunglasses so people can’t properly see your eyes, they shouldn’t completely block them from seeing your eyes (half see-through, not black or mirroring). Tell people that without them you’ll be forced to stare at the floor all the time (or keep your head down or something) and you don’t want to appear rude by avoiding eye-contact. That last bit is very important!
And then the magic starts happening, you’ll suddenly notice how completely different they act towards you.
Think of NT’ers like a different species, it’ll be easier to wrap your head around their behavior.
I'm autistic too and eye contact is very uncomfortable for me, and when I try to do it during conversation, it's distracting and prevents me from even hearing what the other person is saying. Personally, I think NTs should get over themselves about our lack of eye contact, because we shouldn't have to change ourselves or endure constant pain/discomfort just to be accepted
In Bulgaria you won't last long if you are playing the eye contact game :D
Hahaha
Best inside joke I've heard yet
This game works great, here's my experience:
Be me, a young male walking to the shops.
There's an 18-year-old girl on the path walking her dog.
Start staring into her eyes.
She notices and quickly looks down.
As she walks past me, her dog rushes to my feet.
She whimpers "uhh-uhh, sorry" and quickens her pace.
She was definitely scared of me and wanted to get away from me as quickly as possible. I well-built and don't even look creepy.
So, thanks for teaching me this power,. It's like having weaponised autism.
Cool you may have. Conqueror haki
@@mauliafajarpurwanto4845 lol conquerors haki
Really enjoying ALL of your vids! Great Job!
I loveeeee your channel, you deserve much more subscribers!
Thanks for these videos, they're very helpful!
Something I've been playing with lately is occasionally switching the eye that I'm focusing on when listening to somebody. It may reveal a "side" of them that you didn't notice before.
hmm, can you elaborate
The content on this channel is very interesting and easy to understand
The topics you choose are always awesome
Keep going. I love your work!
You are like my own bro you developed me in many aspects
Keep em coming man! Love your work
Very helpful video, it's exactly what I need to practice atm, can you do another video for body language please? Many thanks.
Thanks
Love this video! Please do more about body language! And thanks for removing the vignette! :)
Great job man, appreciate it
Don't do the staring contest in the hood.
Thank you so much for your share. its so useful for me in a easy and visual direct way. Look forward yr next video clips :)))
Super vid bro, great tips. Thanks man
Hey your videos are great!
Can you do a video about how to initiate touch in any interaction? How to more physical and all that stuff? I'd very glad if you did
Great videos man keep it up you deserve a lot more subs
"It makes the speaker FEEL like you're listening to them...... even more." LOL
your voice is kinda relaxing
train eye contact on street, will also train your fighting skills .
when you live in a small town so you can't do the staring contest exercise
I can't even maintain a conversation for 10 seconds let alone eye contact
Yeahhhh Body Language sooooo important (i just wrote this to be first)
Thanks keep it up with these =]
I am on the autism spectrum and am very uncomfortable with eye contact. I function very highly but it is a problem.I have to make a real effort and cannot maintain long.
I don't know what eye to look in. I just go in the middle.
Staring contest game is the key to make our eyes contact strong 👌
Thank you
Another great vid man, love this channel :)
In my country, if I will try to make eye contacts with people in the streets and don't look away first, there will be someone who will ask me in aggressive way why I am looking at him ;( unfortunately that's the mentality
That`s in every country, you`re not alone. In all honesty, I can almost tell every time what a person is thinking by the way they look at me. So long you have positive thoughts your eyes will resonate that. It really does work that way for me.
Thank You!
Eye contact has magical benefits
Thanks I need this 😊
More contact when listening. When speaking you're allowed to roll eyes and focus yours eyes somewhere else as a sign of thinking.
3:18 got me jumped
Wow great videos👏🏼👏🏿
Dont do that in new york city
20 years ago making eye contact and being the first to look away showed dominance, intimidation or challenge so be careful who you play this game with.
I really like your videos
Great content dude
YES ANOTHER VIDEO
great video
the best eye contact tip I ever got is to spot the other person's eye colour
Why should I hold more eye contact when speaking rather than listening?
I feel so uncomfortable looking into someone's eye for some reason, like it makes me extremely nervous
It might be the way i look, i dont know but who ever i make eye contact with whom i dont know shows sign of discomfort or challenge, i dont have much of a facial expression i just wonder and think a lot when i walk. It's really annoying so now when I talk to someone i rarely make eye contact
David Jeremiassen need more warmth in your body language and facial expression. Still face = serious. Relaxed face = better. No tension is good.
you are the best!!
Very though to do this exercise because most people don't even look your way.
Awesome video, as always ! :)
staring contest pretty dangerous with somebody
Tnx!
Great tips, but please don't stare at a bunch of random people you don't know. Your journey of self improvement has nothing to do with them, and you staring is definitely uncomfortable and, in some situations, frightening. 👍
Eye contact i can understand, but i can’t fucking move my face to fake an emotion to save my life!
the eye contact contest bad move😀
I see comments like "that staring contest will get you beat up from where i'm from..." and "Haha. Imagine some guy walking down the street staring at each person. He won't last long." all up in the comments section. Understand that you do NOT want to be giving off an "I want to beat the crap out of you" look. You want to smile while you play this Staring contest game. Maybe wave or greet the person depending on the situation and if its really that bad where you are from then only play this game with people who dont look as threatening. Eye contact plays a big part in dealing with people and dealing with people properly leads to your success. Eye contact is actually a great way to spread a smile. :)
Do an episode on psychedelics
I hold too much eye contact but if people find me intimidating, good.
For people saying they'd get punched or so for doing the eye stare while walking by, just do it on the opposite gender. As a guy for example, give girls walking by a friendly eye contact and maybe throw a smile in. You won't get punched for that lol
Talonted unless she is a bodybuilder.
And if you have children..Start teaching this to them early!!! With all of my kids even as babies i would make sure they looked at me when i talked to them. Then by 3 i started explaining to look at someone when they are talking to you or you're talking to them. Even if you're just saying thankyou.
Like if someone in a store tells my son who is 5. "you are so cute" I have him stop..look at the person and say "Thank you" ♡
Staring contest?
Paulo Ballesteros: 1hr and 5 mins
👁👄👁
I used to do these things naturally
Thanks for reminding me.. I been like 10 years on a PC:( so sorry for myself losing these skills but I’m sure it will come soon.
Every guy around is pointing out that they can end up in a fight with the "contest". The problem as a young female is that if you make I contact it will suggest that you have a sexual interest or that you are trying to seduce the person. Furthermore, I believe that it aplies both to making eye contact with males or with other females.
So if you walk towards someone and you both stare at each other, do you keep staring if they do? Do you turn your head back and keep staring?
My entire life, across all aspects and interactions, I (was) consistently the "type" to maintain constant eye contact, which from my perspective, and intent, signified attentiveness, engagement, and persistent connection. However, I ALWAYS noticed that others would break and begin to/eventually avoid eye contact throughout "our" direct and immediate interactions. So, being the "accommodator" I've historically been, in an attempt to "level" the field, I started to "mirror" other's behavior and began sporadically breaking eye contact in an attempt to facilitate a more "comfortable" exchange, but to me it's always been absurd, disappointing and ultimately GLARINGLY indicated insecurity/inferiority among those "conversational counterparts" that demonstrated such behaviors. Now, having devolved to a state of complete disgust with our species, I avoid eye contact as I similarly avoid ANY and all futile attempts to connect with "my fellow man," considering how few commonalities "we" share.
0:02
1:18
1:50
3:15
watching this on quarantine... how...
Not exactly to the "opposite sex", man. We're all the same after all; feminine and masculine.
But I loved the video.
focus on one eye but can i switch to the other eye when I glance?
GentleKef yes, it doesn't really matter
I actually have no name. My master named me sai, I am here to learn human
Same
Aren't we all?
I am Naruto
In my country you could get stabbed for staring too much
ಠ_ಠ🔪