I went through a very similar experience at a toxic job. Terribly, I almost ended up under the same narcissistic boss at a different job years later. Fortunately the narcissist boss was hired shortly after I had already given notice, but boy was I triggered!
Thank you for this podcast. Its so important how you share, that you should never be afraid to talk about abuse. The guilt I felt, when I was a child, was so big, that it was not even come in my mind that I was mentally and emotionaly abused in my iwn family. When I started living on my own and lived with other studends, that was the time I started to feel, the threatening of keeping family secrets was not ok
Paradoxically, their control of others (or attempts) is, in my humble observations, a lack of control in their own lives...i.e. risk taking, substance and alcohol abuse, reckless spending, sexual activities etc. If they can control a significant other, they can (a) make themselves feel better and garner supply / self-validation (b) not be held accountable for their own bad behaviours. Because you're not allowed to criticise, tragically as empaths care and believe the love is reciprocated...you cant help them. Help yourself first and get out. Great video 👏. Kindest regards
In my household growing up everything was a big secret and you better not tell they and them a thing about what goes on in this house hOWevEr imagine being a child and your friends tell you the very things your parents said not to discuss. Of course with added lies and exaggerated events but as a child you feel the weird need to protect that household. It was all maddening and bazaar.
The isolation is so insidious. I was with a Narcissist ex for 2 years, unfortunately that coincided with the pandemic so he had a convincing smokescreen for his isolation of me. He always had an excuse for not spending time with me and my friends or him and his family and friends. But the few times he did, I realised he was a very jealous person that wanted my complete attention. Also, they wear different masks with different people so it's too risky for them to mix those groups together. I remarked to him, before I fully realised what he was, that he seemed to compartmentalise everything in his life, and he agreed.
He explained everyone that listend for decades that his wife was cold hearted and was isolating him from his children. And that he will leave her as soon as the kids are Grown up.,,, and you realy thought he is the victim. I had a 4,5 year relationship on off with him… cause he told me he is free now…. Now his wife was the best friend and he never even want so lose her…( triangulation) out of this there was 4,5 years drama…, you name it I think. I don’t beleave him any word!!! I am done since 4 month. He is the one that does what he said his wife does to him!!! No doubt!!!
My NPD GF definitely suffered from social anxiety. She didn’t like be around a group of people and would sometimes be triggered into a tantrum where would suddenly just take off in an angry tiff because she was being ignored. So toward the end I certainly didn’t want her around groups. She would drink a little more which would also make her even more susceptible to losing it. We fought often enough just one on one. She would just say something suddenly to devalue me, a derogatory remark for no reason, just to see my reaction.
Your videos are fantastic and have helped me tremendously in my healing process! Would you consider a video taking a closer look at narcissist parents?
Yes. I could do that. Thank you for the suggestion. I do have one about the golden child and scapegoat that talks about it, but I could do something more about the parents in general.
My video topic idea is this: narcissists pretending like nothing has happened and like they haven't escalated things. You get fed up and hit the roof - they act like nothing has happened and they have done nothing wrong. That easily makes you feel like you are the one who has over reacted.
The demise of our 35-year marriage was culminated when i discovered a picture of another woman on our sail boat. He lied and stonewalled and acted as if nothing was wrong. I decided to tell his brother when he texted us both asking how things were going. I tolf him that his brother was having an affair. I was told by the ex that he would never tell someone else my faults in order to better himself. In essence shaming me for telling the truth. I told him about his behavior, not his faults. Was this a narc injury? He stopped talking to me until i filed for divorce.
Stepfather would embarrass me w his unpredictable actions .. he saw there was something stuck in the gutters outside in the rain .. this narc went on the roof naked to take the stick out of the gutter .. are neighbor says hey what’s up out there .😵💫 yes stuff like that would make me not invite ppl over . .. and if you say anything it’ll be twice as embarrassing as the last episode . Malignant narc
Coworker at new job told me noone else liked me( I had done nothing)but she did like me. They were stand offish so I believed her. Years later when she devalued me regularly, then discarded me when a new person started, and lied to destroy my career because I had to report a medical mistake she made she wanted me to cover up,and I told her she was doing the wrong thing,I realised she was a classic covert narcissist and was probably telling them I was saying awful things about them at the same time she told me they were doing it to me.
It’s all perspective. As the target, I was “complaining” as a ways to seek help and validation that I wasn’t crazy for thinking things he did/said were wrong for a supposed partner. Instead I was left feeling guilty because my husband was a great provider and that means love doesn’t it? that means he can’t be abusive right? My therapist never Identify the very many characteristics I described to her, she never directed me to an article, a book or a video and just allowed me to “send“ even though I repeatedly told her I felt bad venting, but I wanted help communicating with this person, which is an impossible thing when you’re dealing with a narcissist. She doesn’t send us to couples therapy, another thing you don’t do with a narcissist. We lasted one session because naturally he charmed the therapist, I “lost“ it (which they told us to do in therapy rather than at home in front of our kids, which is another reason I sought help) and once again I was unheard. I wanted to divorce this guy many times over during the marriage and he talked me out of it every single time saying “I’m not going to throw this all away“, then at 27 years of marriage, 34 years together total, when the youngest was almost out of high school, he discarded me while saying “I love you and I care for you” (which I never said during the marriage, never said during sex because it’s “Trite” according to him) And of course as an aging narcissist already had new supply who is 23 years younger and a member of his religious cult - so textbook
Unless they have a goal in mind to trick you by buying expensivve gifts, narcisists have this trait of giving poor gifts, it's a symbol of their contempt for you. My mom used to do this to me and one day I told her she was cheap gift giver. While all family was doing the best to make her happy, buying her expansive gifts like golden jewelry, trips abroad, expensive clothes, purses and shoes, she would offer shampos and used items she didnt want anymore. 😴😴 My next birthday after this She bought my a pair of "silver" earings, I had doubts so I went to a jewelry store for confirmation and guess what, they were made of stainless steel. 😂😂
Ben gave these cheap presents as a reflection of the poor behaviour of his narcissistic father towards his mother. But his mother had no own identity anymore a bondmaid so to speak.
My narc husband attempted to isolate me from friends and family (unfortunately sometimes successfully). He did a lot of damage in my relationships with others. I have a friend who lives with a bipolar boyfriend (diagnosed) and I believe he is a narcissist as well. Of course I’m not a doctor but I lived with a narc for decades. I and others can see the boyfriend is mentally, emotionally and financially abusive toward her and I do not think she sees it, at least not yet. It seems as though he is slowly isolating her from others and draining her bank account. I do not plan to share my thoughts with her regarding this unless she were to ask (she hasn’t) or once they end the relationship. Do you have any suggestions or comments in a situation like this? Thank you!
It really helps me out a lot when you watch, subscribe and comment or like. I appreciate that so much. I may set up a Patreon in the future, but I don’t have one for now. Maybe I should look into it more seriously. Thank you for asking.
They don’t want you to have any support system outside of them
THE MAIN POINT SHOULD BE , WHEN PEOPLE ARE DOING THE WRONG THING, THEY DON'T WANT ANY WITNESSES !!!!!!!
Pls continue to help us heal from the abuse. ❤
You have helped me more than any professional.
I trust your advice more than most "professionals".
Thank you. But always be careful not to focus on just one source of information. Invite and consider differing viewpoints.
@@LookingBehindtheMirror I listen to multiple sources and consider them all. I love Narcissist Chronicles!
The professionals are narcissists themselves. They invested in themselves to become professionals.
Narcissist = 0 empathy
Easier to manipulate you and you become reliant on them emotionally.
What they do once you are on the outside is just above what’s legal, but far far below what’s ethical .
she has so bad mouthed me to others, so it will look like it's not just her that doesn't like me, talk about smearing me to win them over
I went through a very similar experience at a toxic job. Terribly, I almost ended up under the same narcissistic boss at a different job years later. Fortunately the narcissist boss was hired shortly after I had already given notice, but boy was I triggered!
Thank you for this podcast.
Its so important how you share, that you should never be afraid to talk about abuse. The guilt I felt, when I was a child, was so big, that it was not even come in my mind that I was mentally and emotionaly abused in my iwn family.
When I started living on my own and lived with other studends, that was the time I started to feel, the threatening of keeping family secrets was not ok
Paradoxically, their control of others (or attempts) is, in my humble observations, a lack of control in their own lives...i.e. risk taking, substance and alcohol abuse, reckless spending, sexual activities etc.
If they can control a significant other, they can (a) make themselves feel better and garner supply / self-validation (b) not be held accountable for their own bad behaviours. Because you're not allowed to criticise, tragically as empaths care and believe the love is reciprocated...you cant help them. Help yourself first and get out.
Great video 👏. Kindest regards
💯 a lot of truth you speak.
In my household growing up everything was a big secret and you better not tell they and them a thing about what goes on in this house hOWevEr imagine being a child and your friends tell you the very things your parents said not to discuss. Of course with added lies and exaggerated events but as a child you feel the weird need to protect that household. It was all maddening and bazaar.
I agree, the need to protect your own family , I guess we feel shame as we are also of that family. Better to get away and create your own family.💛
The isolation is so insidious. I was with a Narcissist ex for 2 years, unfortunately that coincided with the pandemic so he had a convincing smokescreen for his isolation of me. He always had an excuse for not spending time with me and my friends or him and his family and friends. But the few times he did, I realised he was a very jealous person that wanted my complete attention. Also, they wear different masks with different people so it's too risky for them to mix those groups together. I remarked to him, before I fully realised what he was, that he seemed to compartmentalise everything in his life, and he agreed.
You are soo right!
Best narc channel on UA-cam. Thank you for helping me and so many others heal 🙏
Active malice brings joy to warped personalities ie narcs😉
He explained everyone that listend for decades that his wife was cold hearted and was isolating him from his children. And that he will leave her as soon as the kids are Grown up.,,, and you realy thought he is the victim. I had a 4,5 year relationship on off with him… cause he told me he is free now…. Now his wife was the best friend and he never even want so lose her…( triangulation) out of this there was 4,5 years drama…, you name it I think.
I don’t beleave him any word!!! I am done since 4 month. He is the one that does what he said his wife does to him!!!
No doubt!!!
My NPD GF definitely suffered from social anxiety. She didn’t like be around a group of people and would sometimes be triggered into a tantrum where would suddenly just take off in an angry tiff because she was being ignored. So toward the end I certainly didn’t want her around groups. She would drink a little more which would also make her even more susceptible to losing it. We fought often enough just one on one. She would just say something suddenly to devalue me, a derogatory remark for no reason, just to see my reaction.
Articulate and well structured. Professionals should be learning from your channel.
My mother isolated me from all my relatives. And this was when I was in my late 30s.
Fantastic insight and such informative, relatable videos. You really are saving peoples lives, thank you ❤️
Kids imitate the narcissist and treat you with the same disrespect he showed you.
So do adults
Your videos are fantastic and have helped me tremendously in my healing process! Would you consider a video taking a closer look at narcissist parents?
Yes. I could do that. Thank you for the suggestion. I do have one about the golden child and scapegoat that talks about it, but I could do something more about the parents in general.
@@LookingBehindtheMirror awesome! Thank you for replying. The ways narcissist parents stunt their childrens' growth is truly astonishing
My video topic idea is this: narcissists pretending like nothing has happened and like they haven't escalated things. You get fed up and hit the roof - they act like nothing has happened and they have done nothing wrong. That easily makes you feel like you are the one who has over reacted.
Thanks for the idea. That is an interesting and frustrating phenomenon.
I saw their isolation
The demise of our 35-year marriage was culminated when i discovered a picture of another woman on our sail boat. He lied and stonewalled and acted as if nothing was wrong. I decided to tell his brother when he texted us both asking how things were going. I tolf him that his brother was having an affair. I was told by the ex that he would never tell someone else my faults in order to better himself. In essence shaming me for telling the truth. I told him about his behavior, not his faults. Was this a narc injury? He stopped talking to me until i filed for divorce.
LMAO about the Ben story. 🤣🤣
Stepfather would embarrass me w his unpredictable actions .. he saw there was something stuck in the gutters outside in the rain .. this narc went on the roof naked to take the stick out of the gutter .. are neighbor says hey what’s up out there .😵💫 yes stuff like that would make me not invite ppl over . .. and if you say anything it’ll be twice as embarrassing as the last episode . Malignant narc
My favorite line in the beginning was "I was just trying to help". Who even asked u?😅😅😅
Excellent videos. Thanks so much for your perspectives 💙
All of it, Bravo!
Coworker at new job told me noone else liked me( I had done nothing)but she did like me. They were stand offish so I believed her. Years later when she devalued me regularly, then discarded me when a new person started, and lied to destroy my career because I had to report a medical mistake she made she wanted me to cover up,and I told her she was doing the wrong thing,I realised she was a classic covert narcissist and was probably telling them I was saying awful things about them at the same time she told me they were doing it to me.
It’s all perspective. As the target, I was “complaining” as a ways to seek help and validation that I wasn’t crazy for thinking things he did/said were wrong for a supposed partner. Instead I was left feeling guilty because my husband was a great provider and that means love doesn’t it? that means he can’t be abusive right? My therapist never Identify the very many characteristics I described to her, she never directed me to an article, a book or a video and just allowed me to “send“ even though I repeatedly told her I felt bad venting, but I wanted help communicating with this person, which is an impossible thing when you’re dealing with a narcissist. She doesn’t send us to couples therapy, another thing you don’t do with a narcissist. We lasted one session because naturally he charmed the therapist, I “lost“ it (which they told us to do in therapy rather than at home in front of our kids, which is another reason I sought help) and once again I was unheard. I wanted to divorce this guy many times over during the marriage and he talked me out of it every single time saying “I’m not going to throw this all away“, then at 27 years of marriage, 34 years together total, when the youngest was almost out of high school, he discarded me while saying “I love you and I care for you” (which I never said during the marriage, never said during sex because it’s “Trite” according to him) And of course as an aging narcissist already had new supply who is 23 years younger and a member of his religious cult - so textbook
You are a great story teller.Great content. Beautiful and brilliant!❤🎖
At 18min, exactly my experience.
Unless they have a goal in mind to trick you by buying expensivve gifts, narcisists have this trait of giving poor gifts, it's a symbol of their contempt for you. My mom used to do this to me and one day I told her she was cheap gift giver. While all family was doing the best to make her happy, buying her expansive gifts like golden jewelry, trips abroad, expensive clothes, purses and shoes, she would offer shampos and used items she didnt want anymore. 😴😴
My next birthday after this She bought my a pair of "silver" earings, I had doubts so I went to a jewelry store for confirmation and guess what, they were made of stainless steel. 😂😂
Ben gave these cheap presents as a reflection of the poor behaviour of his narcissistic father towards his mother. But his mother had no own identity anymore a bondmaid so to speak.
yes she isolates me from my family, & they don't stand up to her, she has so bad b
@ 8 :05 vemco
Thank you 🙏🏻💝
My narc husband attempted to isolate me from friends and family (unfortunately sometimes successfully). He did a lot of damage in my relationships with others.
I have a friend who lives with a bipolar boyfriend (diagnosed) and I believe he is a narcissist as well. Of course I’m not a doctor but I lived with a narc for decades.
I and others can see the boyfriend is mentally, emotionally and financially abusive toward her and I do not think she sees it, at least not yet. It seems as though he is slowly isolating her from others and draining her bank account.
I do not plan to share my thoughts with her regarding this unless she were to ask (she hasn’t) or once they end the relationship.
Do you have any suggestions or comments in a situation like this?
Thank you!
How can I support your channel other than better help?
It really helps me out a lot when you watch, subscribe and comment or like. I appreciate that so much. I may set up a Patreon in the future, but I don’t have one for now. Maybe I should look into it more seriously. Thank you for asking.
Would you do a zoom interview for my channels on your experience...this channel n protheologist?
Thank you so much for the invite, but I don’t have the bandwidth right now to do anything more than what I’m currently doing.