The Torture of Pathological Narcissism | DIANA DIAMOND

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  • Опубліковано 13 вер 2020
  • Being a narcissist is not always fun. Diana Diamond explains how the myth of Narcissus depicts the experience of narcissism: tremendous pain caused by self-encapsulation, self-preoccupation, isolation, rigidity, etc.
    Those with narcissistic pathology don't have high rates of suicide, but they have higher rates of lethal suicide than those with BPD, according to one Columbia study.
    We interviewed Diana Diamond about narcissism and its prevalence in our society today, all the way from healthy traits to Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
    -----------------
    Diana Diamond is an expert clinician who makes use of Transference-Focused Psychotherapy in her practice treating NPD and BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder).
    Check out our interviews of Otto Kernberg and Frank Yeomans for lots more related material: Kernberg: • Otto Kernberg
    Yeomans: • Frank Yeomans
    For more information about BORDERLINE, the feature-length documentary we made about BPD, please visit: borderlinethefilm.com
    Our archive of videos on BPD and NPD is expanding - be sure to subscribe to our channel here: / borderlinernotes

КОМЕНТАРІ • 179

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 2 роки тому +27

    Extreme rejection sensativity real or imagined.
    Callapsed narcissist at risk for suicide. Reality is what intrudes on their fantasy life.

  • @lrow5416
    @lrow5416 2 роки тому +63

    Anyone who challenges the grandiosity or presents a snippet of reality is shunned or abused. In such cases, the narcissist’s inner torture is externalized and extremely damaging to those in their wake. It’s the cost of keeping the illusion intact.

    • @peculiarlittleman5303
      @peculiarlittleman5303 11 місяців тому +1

      Ok. I won't deliver my payload. Thanks for the comment. I was going to give some reality therapy.

    • @PassionateFlower
      @PassionateFlower 10 місяців тому +13

      They leave so much bloodshed and carnage in their wake, all in the name of staying in fantasy land. Pathetic.

    • @carissajae2410
      @carissajae2410 5 місяців тому +2

      Thank you for validating my experience. I had no idea anything about narcissism, but I knew my ex was extremely arrogant and also offensive to those around him in the 10 months I was in his life. He also did not accept others opinions, only his own (gross). One day someone he respected called him arrogant. He came home and asked me 'why'. As this is something I was also personally struggling with in his behaviour, I took the risk of describing some clear examples. He erupted, gaslit me, changed the problem, said 'this issue lies with you', 'if this is how you feel, than you have never respected me' and much more. After this conversation I was blocked on everything and told I was nothing but toxic in his life and basically deserved my pain for disrespecting him. We have not spoken since and it has taken me months to come out of the fog/pain and I definitely internalised all the things he said. I also now have abandonment issues from the abrupt ending with no resolution, where prior we were happy. I am much stronger now and feel like I have processed it all but holy fuck, what a shit show him and that experience was for me. I don't know how he rationalised that response to me, but I watched him rationalise his behaviour in front of my eyes.

  • @susantomlinson4268
    @susantomlinson4268 3 роки тому +60

    Grandiosty is a stable structure when it collapses extreme risk of suicide.

    • @TheSapphireLeo
      @TheSapphireLeo 2 роки тому

      Agreed.

    • @TheSapphireLeo
      @TheSapphireLeo 2 роки тому +1

      @@RealityBitesSandwiches But also can revert, if only to an extent?

    • @susantomlinson4268
      @susantomlinson4268 2 роки тому

      @@RealityBitesSandwiches It is what Diana states in the video.

    • @TaymaShine
      @TaymaShine 2 роки тому +13

      @@RealityBitesSandwiches I’ve known narcissists to be grandiose and have that collapse. It is possible. Like the original poster stated, it leads to extreme risk of suicide, attempted suicide, and in some cases completed suicide. It goes back and forth in some narcissists where they feel worthless and suicidal to feeling on top of the world, entitled, and the best person to ever exist. It’s a protection mechanism. Without it, is extreme pain because nothing makes sense. It’s like an addiction almost. Withdrawal can cause severe pain that suicide feels like a better idea. Terrible illness.

    • @thelasttrumpet2915
      @thelasttrumpet2915 2 роки тому +9

      @@TaymaShine When the false self collapses, God could step in a build something REAL - if the narcissist just asks!

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 2 роки тому +67

    Paranoia is the cornerstone of narcissism, with frequent dissociations.

    • @lukeoo7
      @lukeoo7 2 роки тому +4

      Yes,, i viewed the same behavior with x girlfriend , i survived !!!!!!!

    • @guyreid8692
      @guyreid8692 Рік тому +15

      I think it’s more envy, insecurity and projection of their evil deeds onto you, that you experienced, rather than paranoia.

    • @STAR-LIGHT.1111
      @STAR-LIGHT.1111 10 місяців тому +1

      Shizoid narcissist also excist

    • @di_decaire
      @di_decaire 9 місяців тому

      Paranoia comes afterwards.@@guyreid8692

    • @hussienmohammed2914
      @hussienmohammed2914 6 місяців тому

      I believe it is envy thats the cornerstone of narcissism. Envy, unlike hate, is to devalue and demolish that which you love/like/reapect. Next to envy is bride(the incapacity to depend which is blindly substituted with an inflated sense of entitlement). Paranoia develops as an outcome of the symptoms I believe

  • @viniciusvyller9458
    @viniciusvyller9458 3 роки тому +72

    I fell in love with a person, but in that person i only saw superiority, i only saw what i wanted to be, what i should've been and what i felt entitled to be. I saw in someone my illusion of grandiosity and fell in love with it like Narcisus, the person was just a material vehicle to that ideal. And it's heartbreaking when you find out who that material vehicle is in reality and that not your Illusion of Grandiosity nor the real person will ever love you back, it trly takes you to suicidal places. The narcissistical world is a soulcrushingly lonely place where love and affection are nowhere to be found, i'm really glad my friends taught me rationality so i would actually want to treat this painful condition and glad too that i found Dr. Diamond videos, it truly is relieving to find that there are people devoted to treat this behavior and offer empathy to people like me.

    • @TheSapphireLeo
      @TheSapphireLeo 2 роки тому +5

      Same.

    • @TaymaShine
      @TaymaShine 2 роки тому +2

      How are you doing now?

    • @viniciusvyller9458
      @viniciusvyller9458 2 роки тому +14

      @@TaymaShine Better, i think, going to therapy and practicing self knowledge and self compassion, my mindset is very different now and i'm on the beggining of long road to authenticity and autonomy. It's still the beggining though, and its difficult sometimes, but its definately better than where i was before :)

    • @TaymaShine
      @TaymaShine 2 роки тому +11

      @@viniciusvyller9458 I’m so glad you’re doing better. I don’t know if you were ever diagnosed but I hope you don’t listen to those that say you can’t get better because it all depends on if you want to change and put in the work and apologize to the people you hurt (if you have) and really mean it.

    • @viniciusvyller9458
      @viniciusvyller9458 2 роки тому +11

      @@TaymaShine I don't think i ever hurt someone more than i hurt myself, but yeah, that's what i'm learning now, how to forgive myself.

  • @PassionateFlower
    @PassionateFlower 10 місяців тому +8

    I see the value in positive thinking and optimism but I stay the hell away from anyone who demands "Positive Vibes Only"...I know what that means. "Don't disturb my Happy Land with your valid thoughts, feelings, and boundaries or I will crush you!"

    • @di_decaire
      @di_decaire 9 місяців тому +2

      Oh right, always be pleasant and have fun a good time until their bad mood hits and then they deny it and gaslight you.

    • @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye
      @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye 3 місяці тому +1

      Your resentment, anger, pain whatever are yours.

    • @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye
      @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye 2 місяці тому

      @HailUniverse Was that after or before you chopped off her head? (Sorry about your micropenis)

    • @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye
      @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye 2 місяці тому

      @HailUniverse Did they find the head?

  • @belovedchild9812
    @belovedchild9812 2 роки тому +13

    Realities that don’t fully affirm the grandiosity are rejected = discard.

  • @edgreen8140
    @edgreen8140 Рік тому +25

    God I would love to be trained by her. Such talent and patience.

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer324 11 місяців тому +16

    Narcissists see empathy and compassion as a liability. Empathy is weakness to them. They understand it only cognitively.

    • @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye
      @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye 3 місяці тому +1

      Says another expert

    • @slimshany4602
      @slimshany4602 5 днів тому

      I do not agree. I know 3 narcissists (my mother and 2 ex friends) and they are 100% highly sensitive on the inside. I know, because I am too and recognise their inner SPS world. Nevertheless, their coping overrules their ability to be compassionate many times. Less I guess with people who are strangers or not close to them. It is very sad for some on the NPD spectrum, because they have to deal with the intolerable feelings that come with the convinction that they are worthless as the human (child inside) they are, in combination with zero selfreflection of their atrocious behaviour. Hellish.
      I do get what your saying about empathy and compassion being a liability. But my idea is actually they think of it being weak, yet they see the danger /strength of this softer person- because thryvare the only ones who put up with them, so they control them and in the back of their head they fear abandonement and thus the deep dark loneliness.

  • @nightowl6260
    @nightowl6260 3 роки тому +39

    Pathologic narcissists may not feel pain. The purpose of the rigid and impenetrable defensive structure of superiority is to defend against feeling emptiness and pain. Massive control of others is a hallmark behavior to prevent any confrontations to the wall of grandiosity. Rage, not pain is the affect experienced.

    • @nexus6755
      @nexus6755 3 роки тому +28

      Narcissists do experience pain and go into bouts of depression the disorder is about covering up a small self esteem with grandiosity not psychopathy

    • @katkatkatkat463
      @katkatkatkat463 3 роки тому +11

      That’s an interesting theory but I’d need to see some evidence to believe that. Just because they have grandiosity as a defence mechanism to shield them from pain doesn’t mean they don’t some feel pain on some level - in fact, if they do feel pain it could encourage them to double down on their defences, thus increasing grandiosity and fragility and making their suicide risk even higher.

    • @jelena7440
      @jelena7440 2 роки тому +4

      @@user-pc2xn1iz8w yes a vulnerable narcissist, very difficult to handle with.

    • @jelena7440
      @jelena7440 2 роки тому +6

      @@user-pc2xn1iz8w the thing is I don't even think they are sick, because they can control their behaviour in front of other people.

    • @luciamixon4156
      @luciamixon4156 2 роки тому +7

      That could be because they still have some awareness their actions are wrong. They still revert back to their protective false self. They are borderline crazy in some cases. Which is why it's so hard to detect and understand. Codependents are victims.

  • @dotta4763
    @dotta4763 3 місяці тому +2

    There is another passage later in that novel which says
    “He sat up, and lifting his arms Called to the forest: 'You trees, Was there ever a love As cruel as mine is to me?””
    Which is very insightful and it sums up pretty well the pain for being cursed with not being ever able to experience reciprocate love

  • @Retrosenescent
    @Retrosenescent Рік тому +11

    I want to see more research done on the overlap between ASD and NPD because there is so much overlap in the symptomology, especially in regards to black-and-white thinking and poor reality testing and delusional thinking. It seems like the ASD person, if they experience sufficient abuse and trauma in childhood, can easily be fast-tracked to a vulnerable narcissistic adulthood wherein they believe themselves to be chronically misunderstood and undervalued by others, grandiose views of themselves as being perfect and special and not needing to change for anyone - rather everyone else needs to change to accommodate them. Constant delusions that others are ganging up on them, bullying them, being mean to them, etc. when their attempts to control others and convince others of their superiority fail. Extreme disagreeableness and Pathological Demand Avoidance (renamed to Persistent Desire for Autonomy by the vulnerable narcissists themselves...)

  • @allisonmccallum3598
    @allisonmccallum3598 Рік тому +17

    I’m more curious as to how many suicides are committed by ppl that were involved with the pathological narcissist - zero empathy

    • @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye
      @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye 3 місяці тому

      Resentment and revenge- seeking don't lead to suicide in general.

    • @ruthieclarke9125
      @ruthieclarke9125 18 днів тому

      @@ThreetwoOne-wu7ye Feeling like nothing but a pile of shite which the Narcissist inflincts on his or her person of wanting to harm absolutely can. It's the purpose of the Narcissist's life....to harm and belittle the shining lights.

  • @grayshus6706
    @grayshus6706 3 роки тому +29

    Reaching out desperately for something beyond and only ever finding your own reflection. Horror!

  • @martinanderko9893
    @martinanderko9893 3 роки тому +52

    Many thanks for great work you are doing for NPD. Especialy for your compassion with us narcissists. I appriciate it a lot.

  • @emmamonroe3311
    @emmamonroe3311 Місяць тому +2

    I dated a covert narcissistic sociopath and after an accident he went into a narcissistic injury and he acted like he was going to do it, but looking at it now, he just wanted me to feel sorry for him. It was the oddest thing I have ever seen.

  • @laboucher
    @laboucher 20 днів тому +1

    "realities that don't affirm their grandiosity are rejected"

  • @bluest1524
    @bluest1524 Рік тому +8

    I wish just one competent psychologist would write, then speak on the parallel, the corollary, the appalling correlation between malignant narcissism and law enforcement in the United States. More than any other the profession currently reflects this personality disorder. It attracts, protects and supports and enables malignant narcissists, and nothing would be more attractive to an abusive person.

    • @kuukuyankson2033
      @kuukuyankson2033 4 місяці тому

      I am not so sure it's only in the United States though as I have experienced the actions of some in the security industry in other countries and can concur that the profession attracts a lot of people with narcissistic tendencies. I can only guess power and control as alluring to these individuals.

    • @bluest1524
      @bluest1524 4 місяці тому

      Certainly those people are everywhere, but the profession might not support them nearly as much in a saner country, nor allow them to be so abusive. No doubt in some countries it's much the same though. @@kuukuyankson2033

    • @kimstrandberg9529
      @kimstrandberg9529 3 місяці тому +1

      Police, prison guards, surgeons, military- any occupation with a God-like complex will always attract Narcs. I read recently that the above are most likely professions for narcs as well, as teachers. For the same reason.

    • @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye
      @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye 3 місяці тому +1

      @@bluest1524 In other countries we mostly have people (and a few Americans depending on where).

    • @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye
      @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye 3 місяці тому

      @@kimstrandberg9529 And what do you do for a living?

  • @yiravarga
    @yiravarga 2 роки тому +31

    I am so glad I landed on this video soon enough! This helped me understand that even though I think my suicidal tendencies, and expression is gone, I might be at higher risk of lethal suicide than I was before. I am starting to see, that I need to take this condition more seriously.

    • @ruthieclarke9125
      @ruthieclarke9125 18 днів тому

      Better you than innocent loving people.

    • @michaeleornelas4952
      @michaeleornelas4952 10 днів тому

      You don’t know her nor her life. Narcissists are also in pain. She wants to change for the better. Don’t discourage and project your unresolved hurt from another narcissist you had to deal with.

  • @johnnycassell4338
    @johnnycassell4338 3 роки тому +38

    I have been dying to hear more from Diana Diamond. Thank you!!

  • @luvwings
    @luvwings 3 роки тому +11

    My husband is a bully pathological narcissist with depression and some mania.

    • @mjremy2605
      @mjremy2605 Місяць тому

      My ex husband, now deceased, was a Malignant Narcissist with Bipolar disorder. A 25 yr nightmare. I feel your pain. Once I left him, he fell apart and started neglecting his health, basic hygiene, and creating drama for the kids. I did not have a husband, I had a 3rd child. I think your husband may have the same issues. You have to treat the Bipolar side with meds or it is hopeless. Best to leave him and enjoy the rest of your life. You cannot fix these people and they drown you. Mine became very dangerous when I wanted to leave him. He threatened to kill me multiple times, and there was DV, and so much more. The happiest day was when the divorce came through. Free at last. It was so liberating and a heady feeling never to have to walk on eggshells again.

  • @francochianale493
    @francochianale493 2 дні тому +1

    I have an ex. She doesn´t want help. I don't wish her bad. I only wish me and my sons could ever recover from the damage inflicted over 30 years, or their entire life for that matter. We lost one of them to suicide. The others are divided, angry, confused. I see no way to offer them a view that they might perhaps consider, that won't cause them more pain. I lost 30 precious years to that monster. All I wish is I could somehow teach my young not to do the same.

  • @user-xc2hv8yx3u
    @user-xc2hv8yx3u 10 місяців тому +2

    i wish i could work with this doctor. i want to change and get out of this nightmare of an existence.

    • @di_decaire
      @di_decaire 9 місяців тому +1

      I got out of some bad years by remembering what a hopeful kid i was for the future and from then on said to myself 'take some happiness for yourself every day no matter what is happening."

  • @darthregulus
    @darthregulus 2 роки тому +21

    Religion can serve as grandiosity structure.

    • @tone3560
      @tone3560 Рік тому +5

      Anything can serve as a grandiosity structure with that logic...its called self-object merger

    • @danielepp3113
      @danielepp3113 Місяць тому

      Is there any greater grandiosity than believing You have a personal relationship with the creator? What a long fall that is.

    • @mjremy2605
      @mjremy2605 Місяць тому

      Insightful! This explains Chad Daybell's personal church and religion within the LDS framework. He is on trial for multiple murders. His 'religion' of zombies and other nonsense was an expression of his own grandiose Narcissism.

  • @EdHosking
    @EdHosking 8 місяців тому +1

    The insecurities and pain around the ego fractures create the need for the sufferers to push the false self images (used to paper over the ego fractures) forward with extreme vigour.

  • @aliacampbell7227
    @aliacampbell7227 3 роки тому +22

    Their internal tortured self is distracted by causing other people pain and suffering which they enjoy

    • @01straycat
      @01straycat 3 місяці тому +1

      I sense it could also be that the torture starts of internal inflation that is focused on self, not the destruction that is being caused. The inflation is needed due to the emotional torture.
      Many of these comments have personal comments and explanations that are not clinical trauma informed understanding.
      No one that is not in psychotherapy, focuses on the "lethal suicidal " comment. A life that will never love back.

    • @aliacampbell7227
      @aliacampbell7227 3 місяці тому

      @@01straycatthe thing is when I was around someone like that I could pick up on their reactions and bad habits, things a therapist can not as they are constantly lying. I am only a medical student yet but I will soon finish. The main problem is what are you doing with a bunch of extremely destructive people with such strong defense mechanisms wanting to destroy everything and everyone even us health professionals, all healthy relationships and their kids? Society will be on the border of collapse soon. I believe they honestly should take some string medications like schizophrenics.

  • @MJ-om5go
    @MJ-om5go Рік тому +4

    Thank You again.

  • @sleeperno1215
    @sleeperno1215 Місяць тому +2

    I wonder how many people have been driven to suicide by a narcissist.

  • @ishootbishez6974
    @ishootbishez6974 3 роки тому +11

    More of this content please!!!! Thank you.

  • @gertrudeslany201
    @gertrudeslany201 Рік тому +6

    I am deeply concerned about the inherent fragility of people suffering from - perhaps the covert form of narcissism/low self-esteem. I have personal experience of such a person, have - for the time being - broken off, because I was literally told 'to go' - and then took the step to send a final and blunt email accepting the break.
    But am already sorry, because I know this person is suffering and deserves compassion and pity. There are multiple reasons behind this type of psyche. There is a familial history here - I have seen similar dramas played out in my mother's family with both a sister and a cousin. There could be developmental, environmental reasons - the kind of people they have interacted with - in this instance a deeply narcisstic person was her first partner . . maybe mixed styles of upbringing - casual in this instance - because i worked - but mostly happy - no physical punishment ever - and a busy but always involved and humorous father.
    I am at a total loss what to do - feel a parents job is - in the end - just to offer love and support, but when I do, get treated like a child or just generally incapable, when I do.
    I have no place in my life for the advice of clever psychoanalysts of 'imploding narcissists' or 'malignant narcissists' - I need some methodology how to integrate this very difficult person into my life 'until I die' - I have given birth to this person, after all.

  • @therange4033
    @therange4033 Рік тому +1

    Thank you for this.

  • @heatherwhitehead3743
    @heatherwhitehead3743 3 роки тому +9

    It's like our true life blood is being able to love another consciously as adults. Narrcisit are blocked from that maybe? I don't think the narrcisit I'm with loved anyone but his mother.

  • @calebmccool
    @calebmccool 3 роки тому +4

    Thanks so much for all the videos! It’s a great help, and I absolutely love the film

  • @Star-dj1kw
    @Star-dj1kw 2 роки тому +1

    Excellent video 👍🏼

  • @jasmineeve4207
    @jasmineeve4207 Рік тому +2

    This is so sad and deep 🤔🥺😔

  • @stelasenna9927
    @stelasenna9927 Рік тому +4

    Jesus bless anyone reading this comment.

  • @JessCyph
    @JessCyph Рік тому +3

    Question about narcissism for Dr. Diamond not necessarily related to this video: When the child prematurely internalizes a picture of the parent (who has disappointed him) in rapprochement, why does he internalize an ideal image? Why not internalize a disappointing image since the parent since the parent has, in fact, disappointed him?

    • @katieandnick4113
      @katieandnick4113 4 місяці тому +3

      It is incredibly risky for a child to see their mother objectively. In fact, the more dangerous the mother is, the more the child will repress their observations of her, which I guess makes sense. It’s a survival tactic, essentially. We, as a society, really don’t like to admit that nobody poses a greater risk to a child than their own mother. And honestly, our inability to see mothers as human beings rather than perfect gods, reinforces this defensive attitude in them. Because what’s worse than a mother who doesn’t love her child and who doesn’t put her child first all the time, no matter what? Society has no compassion for mothers, and so it is imperative to their survival that they are perceived as perfect by their children. If a mother feels like her child doesn’t see her as perfect, she becomes defensive and paranoid. If a child were to “snapshot” his mother negatively, he is at literal risk of being killed. There are all sorts of ways that a mother can kill her child that can look like an accident. There are also ways that she can torture her child if she feels threatened by them. After 10,000 years of oppression and subjugation, we really should not be surprised that women are as defensive as they are. They are probably most defensive with their children because they are stuck with them. You can’t break up with your kid if they’re telling you things they don’t like about you. Infanticide was socially sanctioned for most of human history, which really helped to relieve a lot of pressure on mothers. Now, I’m not implying that all mothers would kill or maim their children if their children criticized them. Children can tell very early if their mother is safe, in which case, they will see her more objectively. But in order for a mother to truly be safe, she needs very strong social supports, and she needs to not be always worried about how she will provide for her children. Such a mother is quite rare.

    • @01straycat
      @01straycat 3 місяці тому

      The challenge is that children will already off the bat meet disappointment with needs not being met because a mother doesn't stay awake 24/7. It's more of who will the child feel the disappointment
      It's not to say disappointment from a parent won't happen. How does the care giver provide a feedback loop, follow up with their kids and apologize for a short response and say "let me give you more life skills"??? Who actually does that?
      Now if you begin to throw in ACES then the environment begins the self sustaining/inflating mentality of self because the accumulated misattunement and inattention has begun to take over the mental.
      Sometimes aunts and other family become the "care giver primary" that is who can save the child the most, even if another parent is off or a disability or diagnosis. Atleast 1 inttuned caregiver is vital.
      The disappointment becomes the distraction to truly love and love appropriately. That's just my thoughts, I have no educational back ground.

    • @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye
      @ThreetwoOne-wu7ye 3 місяці тому

      @@katieandnick4113 As an NPD I'd be glad to share my thoughts with you. I find your comment very interesting. I think that things happen very early on. I can't relate to the need to see the mum as flawless, god-like. I believe that it is more about feeling contained. Te idea of being stuck with a child certainly applies to my mom. She was not ready. She was a stewardess, she bathed in life but somehow had not really built a personality. I have the image of a mermaid unexpectedly thrown ashore and having to grow legs while giving birth to me. From what I have observed later on or can recall, I can totally imagine her feel attacked by this baby that would keep her stuck, suck her vitality and hurt her nipple. My mum was happy outside the house, comfortable in small talk, at work. Her center was outside in public life. There was absolutely no malice in her, but no 'I' either.
      My mum mirrors to a fault. She is captive of the expression of her interlocutor until the other breaks a smile and sets her free. Until then she replicates the face of the other person, too much, long face, dramatic expression like a scary mask.
      She felt less than among other mums. She had no view of her own, never played a record at home or bought flowers. She was very disorganized, felt hopeless with houskeeping tasks. But she was good at planning holidays. My mum is really particular, sort of raw. No 'I'. I'm sure she felt guilty towards this baby though. I must have cried a lot. I didn't have the smiles for sure. Didn't manage to trigger them obviously. I rejected my husband for years, finally gathering that his unsmiley face as a request for something, some reassurance, I couldn't give him. I felt guilty.

  • @lisebehneeie6508
    @lisebehneeie6508 2 роки тому +3

    Hey! I am seeking more information on how to heal after narcissistic abuse.

  • @mjremy2605
    @mjremy2605 Місяць тому +2

    What an intelligent series. Thank you for illuminating another facet of this subject. I lost my dearest cousin to suicide. She died of a broken heart. I believe she was a covert and vulnerable Narcissist.
    My own daughter was a grandiose Narcissist and died of cancer. I believe it was self inflicted with lack of sleep, excessive work and stress, and bad nutrition habits, probably some drug use earlier. It could have been prevented.
    My ex husband was a Malignant Narcissist and once he felt isolated in old age, he ran his health to the ground and self destructed.
    Generational trauma is a terrible thing. Thank you for shedding light on this topic. Being informed is being warned.

    • @therollingstone9701
      @therollingstone9701 3 дні тому

      For some reason i don't trust that side of the story. Maybe they were just good people with some bad luck n experiences in life.
      Usually narcs live very long lives n destroy everyone's lives around without crashing down to the point of committing suicide. I've yet to see a narcissist commit suicide or destroy their health totally. Usually they're strong as horses n oultlive good people.

  • @tmtb80
    @tmtb80 Рік тому +2

    Long Term Existential Solitary Confinement.

  • @alchemicalsoul78
    @alchemicalsoul78 2 роки тому +2

    Dark Night of the Soul.

  • @CanadianBear47
    @CanadianBear47 2 роки тому +4

    That's quite interesting 4chan has lots of narcissists ppl and there is a community of supporters of suicide ppl trying to get each other to do it.

  • @seehumor2647
    @seehumor2647 3 роки тому +4

    I appreciate the video - Narcissism is so destructive! I creatively portray narcissism in the last video on my channel w/ a funny skit also. I hope we inspire/inform people to avoid manifesting narcissism in their life! Just subscribed to your channel too - Keep up the meaningful content.

  • @agnosticevolutionist3567
    @agnosticevolutionist3567 9 місяців тому

    I ended up as a schizoid brain structure rejecting the illusion of life ,at 4 months olds i struggled with separation individualisation [psychosis] i became self sufficient in my approach to the world and felt i never needed my mum ,in a form of rejection towards her ,i was a Sutle but determined child and placed cat and mouse games in my head and a kind of gaslighting technique where if i played poker face ,she would suspect .thus tricking the enemy she was.

  • @Clevelandsteamer324
    @Clevelandsteamer324 11 місяців тому +2

    Read “power” by shahida arabi

  • @mohsinmoin-ur-rasheed6524
    @mohsinmoin-ur-rasheed6524 2 роки тому +4

    We dont hear about their sucide its because No body, not even their closes relation ever knew about whats wrong with them. They arent exactly "lining up" for get themselves diagnosed (this is their whole game)
    .

  • @italogiardina8183
    @italogiardina8183 3 роки тому +8

    Cultural ideology can be a push factor. Ideology can activate as forms of alienation towards a political community. The pull factor being an 'imagined community' as an ideal. Predictably empty referents fail to integrate personal identity within the dominant cultural paradigm of the time. The saving element may well be the illusion if and only if its sustainable.

    • @ShunyamNiketana
      @ShunyamNiketana 3 роки тому +1

      And it can serve as a cover, giving others the impression that the narcissist is concerned only with the greater good.

  • @accordionSWE
    @accordionSWE 3 місяці тому

    Is it true that a narcissist is stuck at a level where they only can feel anger or fear? What I believe, after hearing some psychoanalysts talk, is that a suffering narcissist have not achieved the integration of anger and fear that would allow them to further accept the complexities of depression. With maturity and adulthood follows a capacity to feel depressed and self-regulate depression through self-soothing. When a person suffering from narcissism end up at a place where they can not handle the new complex life problems inside the structures they built around their past anger and fear responses they feel completely lost.

    • @accordionSWE
      @accordionSWE 2 місяці тому

      Adding information. I Think the ideas I got was from Melanie Klein but very likely it was also Otto Kernberg that talked about the Kleinian ideas in a text or a video. Trying to respect the professionals by giving credit for what I as a layman ponder on while getting information.

  • @terriwhalen3618
    @terriwhalen3618 11 місяців тому +1

    Hi, I am new here, nice to meet all!
    Am concerned about a friend who I believe has narcissist tendency or even NPD. She is obsessed with ideas of being watched, followed, hidden cameras, drug kings outside home, running meth labs down street. Leaving leaves on porch as markers because tgey know she is in home, blinking lights used for codes, noises on roof, phone tapped, mice being put inside home, list goes on. This is all she raljs about besides gossiping and belittling others, bragging, saying she knows everything abd everyone else are idiots including me, but I will not tolerate it. I have been around plenty of narcissist individuals in my life, no more, she is a phone friend in which she hijacks every conversation. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks, God bless!

  • @FrostSoul-qs6kq
    @FrostSoul-qs6kq Рік тому +3

    What I wanna know is WHY does my narc wanna kill me when I'm the one that loved her most ?

    • @rachelgascoine5503
      @rachelgascoine5503 Рік тому +1

      I as myself the same question it's crazy !!

    • @FrostSoul-qs6kq
      @FrostSoul-qs6kq Рік тому +2

      @@rachelgascoine5503 it's really weird that the person that loved them most and truly wanted what's best for them gets tormented , tortured and abused into becoming suicidal and yet they never stop , even turning the other people you love against you to the point of killing you .

    • @emil5884
      @emil5884 Рік тому +10

      Because "your narc" has a deep core self-identity of unloveable. Why would someone love that which is unloveable? The only answer that remains for them is: they're being deceived. As an imagined deceiver, they feel threatened by you, which in turn makes them aggressive.
      They think it's you, but it's them.

    • @theotormon
      @theotormon Рік тому +1

      ​@@emil5884 That's deep.

    • @lizvtaz6
      @lizvtaz6 Рік тому +1

      And why did you love them the most?

  • @ameliarbaldwin1402
    @ameliarbaldwin1402 2 роки тому +1

    "he had chosen from all the faces. He was himself the tortorer. He began his torture."

  • @BilliboJoe
    @BilliboJoe 6 місяців тому +4

    talking about myths doesn't really help to understand narcissism in my opinion, I would love it if you just stayed as scientific as possible.

  • @clairemcmahon9392
    @clairemcmahon9392 Місяць тому +2

    Couldn’t give a damn what pain these people go through. As a survivor of Narcissistic abuse The ex put me through Psychological abuse for 7yrs. He knew full well what he was doing . They live to destroy others bc they are soulless and rotten to their very core. I have zero sympathy. Hope they get back every single bit of pain they readily and gleefully give out to others. I don’t care if they have been traumatised as a child, these people abuse and hurt other human beings for kicks. Pure evil.

    • @jelena7440
      @jelena7440 22 дні тому +1

      This woman makes good money out of it, honest doctors say that it's untreatable because it's not really a sickness they choose to do it because they enjoy it. She's giving false hope to people, parents with NPD children, people who are in romantic relationships with narcissists...as you said those people are pure evil. I am glad you made it out of their hell.

  • @BlackCoffeeee
    @BlackCoffeeee Рік тому +2

    It's also a very unexplored area of the personality types who are lured and attracted by the narcissist (excluding children of narcissist caregivers). We're often told that narcissist victims are vulnerable, innocent, empathic 'good guys'.
    But perhaps there's a type of narcissism in the victim who desires to believe that they deserve the overwhelmingly special treatment from the narcissist. One form feeds another perhaps?
    I don't want to victim shame, nor do I want to undermine the devestating effects of narcissist abuse but I feel that it's at least worth professionally considering the mindset of someone who is a perfect 'fit' for a narcissist.

  • @bryanutility9609
    @bryanutility9609 Рік тому +2

    Yea sucks to be crazy

  • @SelfLoveU
    @SelfLoveU Місяць тому +2

    Okay but isn't it grandiose every time this woman rephrases what the interviewer says with a more "intellectual" phrase?

    • @jelena7440
      @jelena7440 22 дні тому +1

      Yup. Many doctors are narcissists themselves. She's also giving false hope to people that narcissism is curable and that they are some tortured souls. She makes good money out of it.

  • @wonderfulwenna2710
    @wonderfulwenna2710 Рік тому +6

    These people are basically EVIL…… there is no other word for their behaviours…..and they know exactly what they are doing to you…..and they are enjoying it!

  • @KevinKindSongs
    @KevinKindSongs 3 роки тому

    cripes these adds at too much...

  • @-ydxmiqi
    @-ydxmiqi 3 місяці тому

    Who else came because of duncanyounot

  • @miguelpaul1164
    @miguelpaul1164 2 роки тому +3

    Realities that don't affirm the grandiosity are rejected?? Sounds like DjT alright.

  • @minibuns5397
    @minibuns5397 2 роки тому +14

    What can be done to increase narcissistic suicide rates?

    • @aboetarikske
      @aboetarikske 2 роки тому +3

      Increase?

    • @goodtouch459
      @goodtouch459 2 роки тому +14

      Lead by example ;)

    • @Peanuts76
      @Peanuts76 2 роки тому

      Human genocides perhaps?

    • @aboetarikske
      @aboetarikske 2 роки тому

      I did read it again and wanting to kill people en masse is a trait of psychopathy which is generally considered worse then NPD.
      I don't like people with BPD for similar reasons you might have but I hope you're trolling. (Which might be a sign of covert NPD lol)
      Or is it people mixing up narcissism as a term with NPD again?

    • @Peanuts76
      @Peanuts76 2 роки тому +1

      @@aboetarikske im just suggestng him, on specific topics, on how to get rid a narc....
      Dont take it seriously, we'll never gonna do that right here....
      Oh, and lemme save your saved playlist dude, i wanna saw some of it

  • @richellepeace4457
    @richellepeace4457 3 місяці тому +2

    They are not victims they are demons...

  • @kellyyork3898
    @kellyyork3898 3 роки тому +35

    Sorry, but I do not feel sorry for them.

    • @kasperhills1551
      @kasperhills1551 2 роки тому +8

      @@user-pc2xn1iz8w couldn't agree more

    • @minibuns5397
      @minibuns5397 2 роки тому +7

      Same! Sorry not sorry.

    • @dlyteeats3868
      @dlyteeats3868 2 роки тому +10

      why should we they don't feel sorry for us

    • @dallimamma
      @dallimamma 2 роки тому +13

      @@dlyteeats3868 ::: Hate the crime, not the criminal? Otherwise, we’re not much better off.

    • @thegreatd3860
      @thegreatd3860 2 роки тому

      @@dlyteeats3868 not true

  • @Tidoublemy
    @Tidoublemy 3 роки тому +10

    I'm just waiting until the video where the interviewer wastes time mentioning politics and Trump. Instead of asking about relevant things like how to cure NPD. LOL - such a waste of a rare therapist's time.

    • @jiminy_cricket777
      @jiminy_cricket777 3 роки тому +10

      I think she can handle herself. There's no need for you to get offended on her behalf at something that is sadly quite relevant especially right now. It's not as if psychology happens in a vacuum after all.. read Lasch and get back to us.

    • @grayshus6706
      @grayshus6706 3 роки тому +4

      Trump has repeatedly refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power, or to indicate that he will accept the result if he loses the election. Pathological narcissism at work, undermining the world's greatest democracy. America is in grave danger of becoming an authoritarian dictatorship. Trump is psychologically incapable of conceding defeat. He literally cannot do it. This will almost inevitably lead to violence if he does lose, but is unable to admit defeat. Psychological insights into this are relevant and necessary.

    • @TheMellsBells
      @TheMellsBells 3 роки тому

      Check out Sam Vaknins UA-cam. Cold therapy is the only help there is for a narcissist.

  • @pavanatanaya
    @pavanatanaya Рік тому +3

    "Narcissism is a personality trait"? LMAO
    Doris Diamond babbles like an afternoon talk show host

    • @animateddust2640
      @animateddust2640 11 місяців тому +2

      The reason the world is in the debauched state it is in today is because there are too many Doris Diamonds in it.