Acknowledging Our Blindspots: Love Is Blind S2

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  • Опубліковано 21 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 121

  • @Madi-dt7bo
    @Madi-dt7bo 2 роки тому +38

    I love this channelllllllll. She is so smart and calming. Please continue making content!!

  • @frostytipsasmr
    @frostytipsasmr 2 роки тому +88

    Can you please do a video, explaining all the functions? ✨💕

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +31

      In the pipeline. In the meantime, I would recommend looking up the channel Love Who who does a great job explaining the basics

    • @mello4734
      @mello4734 2 роки тому +5

      @@DrCherieTypes Do you believe that someone's personality type/functions can change (not necessarily by force or consciously but overtime through different life experiences)?

    • @onsetaugust
      @onsetaugust 2 роки тому +1

      Not without altering the way your brain works in significant ways. Like abusing the drug DMT, or literal brain damage.
      That said, you can develop and become a balanced individual or change your behaviors.

    • @agitwap6413
      @agitwap6413 Місяць тому

      ​@@mello4734 it's 100% impossible to change type, your big 5 can fluctuate and change though

    • @mello4734
      @mello4734 Місяць тому

      @ what makes you say that.

  • @davidlakhter
    @davidlakhter 2 роки тому +22

    15:00 it's interesting. Shane usedhis Se/Fi to animate Natalie's Fi, which is one of the things that made her feel good, heard, and motivated her to be more expressive as she said. But at the same time, Shane was the one who really needed that re-assurance in that way, yet was the one trying to do it for her.

    • @paf2587
      @paf2587 2 роки тому +6

      Yes his relationship with his mother illuminated that too. She was always saying that she was proud of him and that he was a great guy. His mother showers him with affection and affirmation. Seems like that’s what he wants in his relationship for himself and his future kids too.

    • @davidlakhter
      @davidlakhter 2 роки тому +4

      @@paf2587 yea exactly. Great point

  • @NiamhCreates
    @NiamhCreates 2 роки тому +39

    I'm interested in knowing more about the blindspot functions of each type. Possibly a video series? 🙂
    I understood why Shayne was wanting Natalie to publicly acknowledge her part of the conflict... but at the same time, Shayne does this too much and I feel like that could have been settled privately. Doing it like this just feeds into the image he gives off as a person who resorts to gaslighting. I believe I had seen something recently where Natalie has said that they kept trying to make the relationship work (after the show), but ultimately Shayne just kept resorting to gaslighting every time they argued, and while she doesn't believe he does it on purpose, still, I can see why that would be exhausting.

    • @RhondaKL
      @RhondaKL 2 роки тому +4

      During the reunion show,when Shayne started on about “what Natalie did”,and demanding an apology,Natalie did point out they had previously discussed it and she had apologised numerous times. My problem is he wouldn’t say what it was exactly he felt she needed to apologise for. He’s just gaslighting her,and doesn’t care that she’s reduced to tears.

    • @user-ik5gs7qq5y
      @user-ik5gs7qq5y 2 роки тому +1

      Agreed I thought this was super interesting

    • @no-thanks
      @no-thanks 2 роки тому

      Oh no that’s what I’m trying to avoid with my *ESFP*.

  • @danielhaselmeyer9474
    @danielhaselmeyer9474 2 роки тому +6

    Love your video, makes so much Sense , i wish Natalie and Shayne watch this

  • @colorsmith5569
    @colorsmith5569 2 роки тому +17

    1. I need to schedule an appt w/you.
    2. Please please please do 90 day fiancé or Love is Blind Season season 1

  • @HopDances
    @HopDances 18 днів тому +2

    Shane appears confident but is actually incredibly insecure and uses bravado to hide that. I think that is really shown when they do the baseball bachelor party event. He strikes out and completely freaks out instead of just laughing it off. His ego appears very fragile from what we see of him.

  • @riesweetandsour
    @riesweetandsour 2 роки тому +5

    Appreciate your depth analysis! I’m an ESTJ, so I totally relate to not being good at Fe (or Fi). Thank you!

  • @julianocean1734
    @julianocean1734 2 роки тому +11

    So interesting Dr. Cherie, thank you for this analysis. For the first time of my life I’m interested in knowing more about functions instead of just winging it as an INFJ

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +4

      Feedback like yours keeps me going ❤️

  • @jenrhemgotcha1417
    @jenrhemgotcha1417 2 роки тому +12

    I wished you did a break down on personality types and what they are compatible with as well as why

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +5

      Thanks for the feedback. If you wanted a good breakdown on personality types, I would recommend the channel @Love Who in the meantime who does a really good job

    • @davidlakhter
      @davidlakhter 2 роки тому

      also Eric Wen does a good job breaking down personality types in general

    • @DrJamesT
      @DrJamesT 2 роки тому

      @@davidlakhter Eric is great at explaining theory at a basic level but practically he dishes out the N to people who are high Fi. Fi is abstract so could be seen as N, and even the tiniest bit of N he qualifies as N dom. He's enamoured with them. He typed Adele as an ENTJ..Eric himself was baffled by this. She's an ESFP. These types have the same functions so can be mistyped. There are nuances that would help differentiate.

    • @davidlakhter
      @davidlakhter 2 роки тому

      @@DrJamesT got it! Thanks for clarification

  • @sofuego908
    @sofuego908 2 роки тому +2

    I'm so glad I stumbled across your videos.

  • @michellegrantvaughn1561
    @michellegrantvaughn1561 2 роки тому +6

    This video is so helpful for me to understand these concepts. I’m going to save this one because what Shane does with trying to “FE” her, I think tend to do that in my relationship. Very interesting!! On the surface I would never think I have commonalities with Shane- but I really do after your in depth analysis. This is so much fun!

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +3

      Aww I'm so glad this is relevant to your personal journey :) It takes courage and openness to look at ourselves in the mirror and acknowledge our own unhealthy patterns - the key to growth!

  • @Sermalla
    @Sermalla 2 роки тому +5

    There are rumors that Deepti and Kyle are dating and Natalie and Sal are dating. Based on the little we know from the show, these new “couples” seem like a better match. However I am concerned for Deepti and Kyle specifically because they both had mildly embarrassing breakups for the world to see. I wonder if them dating is just a way to mask the feeling of rejection, and by dating, that are telling themselves that they have come out of the situation on top. I don’t think this is a healthy foundation to build a long term relationship from, but at the same time, I do think believe them dating will offer so much needed healing.

  • @madhere0990
    @madhere0990 9 місяців тому +2

    If your dealing with a high Te user look for acts of service as their love language and gently teach them emotional expression and words of affirmation as an Fe/high Fi user , or leave them alone

    • @agitwap6413
      @agitwap6413 Місяць тому

      dating a high te user rn, this is 100% accurate. the emotional vulnerability of those love languages is really tough for them, they need time and space otherwise it won't work

  • @sacmakiz
    @sacmakiz 2 роки тому +6

    7:54 lmao jessica's face -ehm- shayna's squinting face throughout the show

    • @no-thanks
      @no-thanks 2 роки тому

      LoHL, you’re so shady.
      😂

  • @claudiayourfavleo6896
    @claudiayourfavleo6896 2 роки тому +3

    Keep them coming ! It's great work !

  • @coreyhoward4397
    @coreyhoward4397 Рік тому +1

    Great analysis as always.

  • @comfortcrossroads
    @comfortcrossroads 2 роки тому +5

    I love your content so much, you're wonderful at explaining all the functions! I was wondering how much a session with you would be?

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +3

      Aww thank you 😊 Booking details in Description box

  • @cookiebun12
    @cookiebun12 2 роки тому +4

    Can you also break down the couples in love is blind Japan version??

  • @lilalakritzengel
    @lilalakritzengel Рік тому +1

    Such an insightful analysis! Thank you.
    I would really love for you to analyse Shayne and Chloe (on Perfect Match and knowing them from Love is Blind / Too Hot To Handle 1 and The Circle 2) as well. With them, I am never sure if I like them together or not. I can see you having a very interesting analysis of them as well! ☺

  • @testing1-2three
    @testing1-2three Рік тому +2

    Yes thank you! I’ve always noticed how she always tried to make him the a-hole but never took any accountability for her low sense of self worth. So now she has to talk smack about him in order to avoid acknowledging her own responsibility/guilt. She intentionally manipulates the perception. She’s an a hole too.

    • @katrinetroelsen
      @katrinetroelsen Місяць тому +1

      have u listened to her podcast? with deepti. She still talks smack about Shane in a way that makes it seem like Shane is at fault, Shane is an asshole and Shane is a liar. She never just lets it go and NEVER takes responsibility for anything. Shane has a new girlfriend (i saw on IG) and seems happy. He never mentions Natalie

    • @IshtarNike
      @IshtarNike Місяць тому

      ​@@katrinetroelsenseems to me like she might be really self obsessed.

  • @veebee3837
    @veebee3837 2 роки тому +2

    Great video, I love your analysis and break down of their dynamics.

  • @VIVABELLAVIVAHERMANO
    @VIVABELLAVIVAHERMANO Рік тому +4

    You are a beautiful woman (the psychologist)

  • @eosp9376
    @eosp9376 Місяць тому

    I got back and listen to your interpretations all the time!!!! I wished you did every show ever and all the other people in the world 😅 I really trust your perspective.
    Have you gone over your type before?? I felt like that would be super cool for you to try and dissect your design for us to also get to know.

  • @hannahw2697
    @hannahw2697 8 місяців тому +3

    I just had a 4 hour argument with my partner and I think I’m Natalie and he is Shane

  • @paf2587
    @paf2587 2 роки тому +2

    Great video Dr. Cherie. You really touched on this so clearly! I don’t understand why people don’t see that. Do you think it’s because of the editing?

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +2

      Editing affects perception. But also, there are 16 personality types so essentially 16 ways to see one thing - I don't expect everyone to agree with me :)

  • @44nk96
    @44nk96 2 роки тому +2

    You are the absolute best!

  • @ZLVSJ8
    @ZLVSJ8 2 роки тому +4

    Shaina's familyyyyyyy

  • @BrookLynDaze
    @BrookLynDaze 2 роки тому +20

    Wow. Watching this back with your analysis made me even angrier towards Shane than I did originally. I feel like I have witnessed injustice. I think I might recognize some of this from my own life. Yikes.

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +3

      What is the injustice specifically? I'm intrigued

    • @BrookLynDaze
      @BrookLynDaze 2 роки тому +7

      @@DrCherieTypes I feel like Natalie was forced to apologize and I feel like I am often in a similar position so it’s triggering! But Shane backed her into that apology and so hates to see it. She said she was sorry for making him feel like he wasn’t enough. That is something that I guess I didn’t witness. He asked for so many compliments. She doesn’t do that naturally. This made him angry. I guess if she apologized for not being able to fulfill his needs, as you explained it, I could have accepted it better. But instead she apologized for how she “made” him feel. It was too much for me.

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +15

      I feel Shayne definitely needed her apology to be public, because he feels quote "crucified" for putting himself out there, so he wants Natalie to be crucified with him... He can't stand being painted as the only bad guy

    • @BrookLynDaze
      @BrookLynDaze 2 роки тому +1

      @@DrCherieTypes I just love your videos! Keep up the good work. I learn so much from your discussion.

    • @IshtarNike
      @IshtarNike Місяць тому +2

      I think you entirely missed the point. I saw the communication between the couple and Natalie never engaged with his points. She made vague statements about things she'd done, but she clearly didn't actually know which is why he was frustrated. She knew that he needed her to admit she'd hurt him, but she genuinely couldn't see how she had. We saw in the video how he made a bid for attention by asking if she thinks he's pretty. He's teasing her in a flirty way and that's an implicit entreaty to be teased back. Instead she shuts it down and scolds him, no matter how gently, for "fishing for compliments." He doesn't feel truly seen in the relationship. He may be all types of shit. But he's not wrong about the fact that she doesn't actually take true accountability for how she acts.

  • @theTimeIsNow2009
    @theTimeIsNow2009 2 роки тому +5

    How do you know what functions they have? How can I find out mine? Is there a test?

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +2

      There are many self tests online, but in my experience they are very inaccurate because they tend to categorise you into very broad strokes and also it's difficult to be objective about ourselves. I learned to type by speech patterns, which helps me identify what functions you have and what order they are in. If you're interested, you can book a session with me to analyse your type - details in description box :)

  • @dquizz2k11
    @dquizz2k11 Рік тому +1

    Love your insights, What is your personality type?

  • @riesweetandsour
    @riesweetandsour 2 роки тому +2

    I love your analysis. Would you be interested in analyzing Married at First Sight Couples (Life Time or Hulu)?

  • @olivialucero6811
    @olivialucero6811 2 роки тому

    So thorough, thank you!

  • @colouredlioness2199
    @colouredlioness2199 2 роки тому +14

    There is also the mismatch of love language... huge!

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +2

      Definitely - another great system to explain compatibility: The Love Languages

  • @dariabogdan7884
    @dariabogdan7884 Місяць тому

    How do you know what their personality types are ?

  • @davidlakhter
    @davidlakhter 2 роки тому +9

    Question, Dr. Cherie. If someone has differing personality traits from you and you recognize that, how can you draw the line to tell what is objectively how they see things vs. something to take personally and not question if that's just their personality?

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +6

      Great question David. The definitive answer would be to type the person objectively by speech patterns, therefore identifying their 4 functions and their Blindspot function, so that you can assess how they think, perceive the world, and what they are capable and not capable of. But I think another crucial point is to recognise your own needs and priorities, and what you are willing to tolerate. I suppose if the behaviour is due to their Blindspot, you can argue you can have more patience for them, because it's not personal, but ultimately your needs are not met and you will have to weigh up if this is an acceptable compromise in a long term relationship.

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +3

      I guess another way to tell the difference is to observe whether the person is this way only to you, or they behave the same way to most, and therefore not personal

    • @davidlakhter
      @davidlakhter 2 роки тому +1

      @@DrCherieTypes thank you Dr. Cherie. Yeah it's interesting to think about this relative to toxic relationships or even relationships that you want to get into to grow. I guess for marriage it should be more a consideration if your partner has blindspots that you kind of need for your own reasons or archetypes. But if it's not a need, then maybe you don't need to be so compatible for a long-term relationship because it may help you grow if your partner has complimentary traits to you. From your experience, do you think complimentary archetypes suit the category of compatible relationships long-term if the blindspots aren't toxic for personal reasons? Kind of like opposites attract would bring chemistry, but would that translate to a long-term compatability if both people recognize that and are willing to grow?

    • @DrJamesT
      @DrJamesT 2 роки тому +2

      @@davidlakhter people have different expectations from marriage. Some for love, business partnership, chemistry, mentorship or combinations of these. Ester Perrel said marriages fall apart because people expect their partners to fulfill every need they have which is very difficult. Another person like a friend or family can fulfill those needs that your partner falls short of. Having a partner with complementary function will fulfill each other’s needs. But the partner then become predictable, the mystery is gone. Whether this marriage will grow or drift apart depends on their expectations. If they understand each other’s limitations and recognize the advantages then they can grow through tolerance and understanding and less frustrations.

    • @davidlakhter
      @davidlakhter 2 роки тому +1

      @@DrJamesT got it. Thanks Dr James

  • @MomandBuggs
    @MomandBuggs 2 роки тому

    Great video!💕

  • @Juniperberrie25
    @Juniperberrie25 9 місяців тому

    Dr Cheri, I’m conscious this is an old episode so you might not see this but something you mentioned here touches on something that’s been troubling me for a while - the point about people and their blind spots. I have a very bad habit of being too empathetic with people, because I recognise we all have our traumas etc. but how do we identify bad behaviour vs something someone isn’t able to do because of their blindspot? I know this is an extreme example, but I’ve seen in many of your videos where you mention a function that results in people liking multiple options and seeing many possibilities, so if such a person were to avoid commitment, or even cheat as a result of this function how can we reprimand them when this is down to their function and not down to them just being a bad person?

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  9 місяців тому +1

      A good friend, family, and/or therapist will be able point out your blindspot. As for your second question, agree to be transparent about each other’s intentions give each other space to work it out and decide what’s best for your independent selves. What you see as bad might be good from their point of view. Surfacing these differences will help you decide if you want to accept them or not.

    • @Juniperberrie25
      @Juniperberrie25 9 місяців тому

      Thank you

  • @laural1227
    @laural1227 2 роки тому +3

    Natalie thought he liked her way more than what he actually did. I think that's why he cheated and mistreated her. To let her down and be obvious.

  • @princesspat5239
    @princesspat5239 2 роки тому +2

    What does te blind spot looks like

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому

      Good question. Broadly speaking, Te Blindspot (ie. ISFJ and INFJ) tend to refuse to "box" things or conclude. They tend to think that there is always more to something or someone's behaviour and keep trying to further understand, when other people would have concluded and moved on

  • @Samahsings
    @Samahsings 2 роки тому +9

    Also could it cultural? There in an interracial relationship.

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +10

      That's a good point. There is so much I can cover with this couple! But I chose to focus on personality type because that alone already explains so much of their conflict. But yes, cultural factors are definitely at play here I'm sure

  • @Lkl948
    @Lkl948 2 роки тому

    I love your content but l do not know how to get to netflixoffice to appeal for a rerun of Vampire diaries Pretty little liars and grand Hotel. Thanks

  • @sacmakiz
    @sacmakiz 2 роки тому +1

    may i request a female infj and male intj dynamic analysis?

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому

      Do you know any real life examples? I can explain theoretically but always good to have real examples - which is what I found missing on UA-cam and the internet

    • @sacmakiz
      @sacmakiz 2 роки тому

      @@DrCherieTypes i want to say "me and my husband" but we are not celebrities lol

  • @NickoseLayne
    @NickoseLayne 2 роки тому +42

    Can it also be that Shayne is emotionally immature and doesn't know how to communicate his feelings like an adult?

    • @colouredlioness2199
      @colouredlioness2199 2 роки тому +17

      Yes.. this. All types can be healthy and unhealthy. He is very unhealthy while Nat was more mediocre not the healthiest either.

    • @NickoseLayne
      @NickoseLayne 2 роки тому +1

      @@colouredlioness2199 agreed

    • @DrJamesT
      @DrJamesT 2 роки тому +10

      Shane lost his dad and this marriage is rushed to make his mom happy. So the reasons to wed were not that great. Natalie’s dad play a big role in keeping her on the healthy side. Unhealthy ISTJ are hand maiden’s tale level terrible.

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому +21

      Yes - I agree that Shayne definitely needs to develop his emotional maturity. When we do not invest in self growth, we tend to mostly use our top 2 functions because they are the easiest to use for us. With Shayne, this makes him very reactive to the moment in terms of his feelings, very impulsive, and having tantrums with no deeper thought and consequence - which is him not using his lowest function Ni introverted intuition.

    • @johnascialpi5247
      @johnascialpi5247 2 роки тому +1

      @@colouredlioness2199 true I like Natalie a heap alot more showing true concern for any perceived hurt. I feel for her :-/ Im an InfJ.

  • @jerseygurlinmaryland
    @jerseygurlinmaryland 2 роки тому

    I can’t find the channel Love that you referenced in the comments. Would you please direct me to it?

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  2 роки тому

      It’s called “Love Who” ua-cam.com/channels/mOchZCqNQU3Gjh8X4GarOw.html

  • @colouredlioness2199
    @colouredlioness2199 2 роки тому

    Beautifully done. Love it!💞

  • @elsab5782
    @elsab5782 28 днів тому +1

    Shane reminds me of my boyfriend. He has adhd and might explode and be really mean if I push him, which I do as a Ne Ti person..

  • @Samahsings
    @Samahsings 2 роки тому +9

    Please review Kim and Kanye.

  • @paprikahoney
    @paprikahoney 2 роки тому

    Can you do real housewives couples?

  • @LadyJay882
    @LadyJay882 2 роки тому

    Typo in video title

  • @knowledgeacquisition9268
    @knowledgeacquisition9268 2 роки тому +1

    I love you

  • @MzSoulll
    @MzSoulll Рік тому

    When I watched the show, I thought Shayne was so ridiculous...but now that you've broken things down, I see that I am more like Shayne than I am like Nat, especially when it comes to needing words of affirmation, and how that can affect a relationship if that doesn't seem to come naturally.

    • @DrCherieTypes
      @DrCherieTypes  Рік тому +3

      Your partner needs to be informed in a kind manner. Aim for a mutual goal that includes affirmations. Otherwise you might be so starved of it, that you might get it elsewhere. Your situation could be more complex than this, which would require a personal analysis.

  • @gabrielfrost9134
    @gabrielfrost9134 2 роки тому +1

    And they broke up!.

  • @quorraquar2677
    @quorraquar2677 2 роки тому

    💜💜💜

  • @JusHaja
    @JusHaja 2 роки тому +3

    She understands she doesn't want to admit her fault. Escape the issue by hiding his behavior because it was more aggressive/direct. Its low key manipulating.

    • @alyssainnis4432
      @alyssainnis4432 2 роки тому +5

      It’s like you didn’t watch the video. Lol.
      There’s nothing more cringe worthy or unattractive to an ISTJ than someone fishing for complements or a need for external validation. We give it on our own terms, not according to yours. This is why it was so hard for her to understand in the first place, her feelings were genuine for him.

    • @paf2587
      @paf2587 2 роки тому

      @@alyssainnis4432 I don’t know if they were genuine, BUT she definitely focused her efforts on him right from the start. Even though she wasn’t sure it was reciprocated.

    • @alyssainnis4432
      @alyssainnis4432 2 роки тому +3

      @@paf2587 as an ISTJ female, if he had her attention, then her feelings were genuine and she was being open.

  • @srolesen
    @srolesen Рік тому +1

    lol wtf. She's a covert narcissist and acting accordingly, he has narcissistic traits too but is more codependent. The way she puts him down is just classic and it starts to really take a toll over time and people will burn out and become rageful over time exactly like we see him do in the show.
    Twin flame couple burning each other up because that's what narc's do.
    The crux of their problem is narcissism.

  • @_VISION.
    @_VISION. 2 роки тому

    At first I thought you were typing these people but these are just types you're getting from personality database. Why do people respect that website so much?