I moved to NYC with big dreams. A year later, I'm back living with my parents.
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- Опубліковано 29 чер 2024
- I moved to New York City right after graduating college. I had big dreams ... and almost exactly a year later, I left and moved back in with my parents. Keep watching to learn why and the true cost of living in New York City.
I didn't even watch the video but dude it's okay. Rooms in NYC are renting for 1,900 a month. ROOMS. No one can live there. We are encountering a true housing crisis and it's terrible.
Been here for almost 2 decades and I hate it
Capitalism at its finest.
No one can live there? There's like 10 million ppl living there
Capitalism? More like bad liberal policies
I did the exact same thing as you! And only lasted 10 months. Moved to NYC with a romantic view of having an artist community (I’m an illustrator) but instead worked soo many hours at dumb jobs, spent so many weekends lonely and/or crying, and blew through all my savings. My apartment was cold in winter and hot in summer bc i couldn’t afford to heat/cool it. The fantasy was so far from reality and it was NOT worth it for me. I moved home and created a new community outside of my family there. I went to grad school at an affordable state school close to home and now 5 years later I have an amazing life close to my hometown. Keep going, there are so many ways to have a great, fulfilling life that you could never have imagined before. Hugs!
Elizabeth thank you so much for sharing your story! Truly I feel like SO much freedom and joy comes when we let go of the fantasies and just really follow our intuition. So happy you’ve found such a loving community close to your hometown. Cheers to you and wishing you all the best!
I'm old (33, married, with two kids - happily settled in life), but I just want you to know that almost every single regret we have in life is from never trying to do something you want to do. I know I'm some random stranger, but I'm proud of you for trying it out, even if it turned out to not be exactly what you wanted. I was always afraid to take risks, and now I'm having a mid-life crisis. But my life is way more complicated now. Try out as many things as you want while you're still really young. Once you have a house, a husband, and kids, you can't try things out freely.
No risk, no story. You had the experience and have learned from it that only romanticized areas of living can cause much financial strife to the point where you’re not living but rather surviving. NY and Cali are wonderful if one has the capital to leverage it. Ill leave y’all with this jewel i picked up from the debt collective; your debt is someone’s asset. Make the goal to live financially comfortably and free while still having plenty of fun in life because as i said at the start of this; no risk, no story.
Awesome advice and conclusion! Cheers
what a great comment~
Life in 2023 is ridiculously expensive. You did the right thing to experience NYC for a year. Other wonderful adventures will come your way!
Thank you! That's so kind :)
Ik doe het er voor wat goedkoop is nyc
This video gave me such an indescribable amount of relief. I went to college in another country (away from my family) and ended up feeling the worst I had ever felt in my life from being in a place where I knew no one and was all alone in a big city. For a long time I tried to hide it and pretend it was no big deal being that far away since lots of people at my university were in the same situation, but I had to come to terms with the fact that I need to be closer to my family, at least right now. The fact that you had a similar experience is so refreshing because no one ever admits to homesickness or missing their folks to this extent because it's "uncool." This helped me realize that different situations are right for everyone and it doesn't matter what works for other - we all know best what support system we need and we should pursue it regardless of societal norms.
YES YES YES! You just dropped so much wisdom here. Love your point on blocking out the noise/societal expectations and listening to your own voice.
Thank you so much for making this video about the reality of life.I respect you so much 🙌🏽. So many UA-camrs only show "the good" and trick people into thinking that they are living a fun life. That’s why I don’t compare myself to anyone on the internet cuz it’s an illusion.
Don’t be so hard on yourself queen 👸🏽 your blessed to have parents to take you in. Be proud of yourself for getting out your comfort zone 🤗
Thanks Sasha! This is a really sweet comment, made my day :).
@sasha, You are a good human🍎
As a person who was born and raised still living in NYC, things have gotten so much harder. Trying to live in the city now is a struggle.
Yup . People who aren’t from here especially women think that if they come here it will be like Sex in the City. Not realizing that it’s all a fantasy. I was born and raised in Manhattan and I know better.
this she shouldve stayed where she was it..i live with my parents in NYC and i make decent money who wants to pay 3k for rent ????the folks that you see moving here are the people who are getting funding by thier parents so they can actually live the nightlife....alot of other folks think it will be something that its not ..if your parents cant fund you do not come here
@@helena3631 true. Or people have like a million roommates. Even dudes who work on Wall Street have roommates and these guys make 200K and up.
yep people do not do ENOUGH research prior to moving to NYC. $1500/mo is NOTHING for an apt. in NYC....average apt studio possible one bed is $3900. A single person to live comfortably in NYC these days need about $150K- 200K income...not for the faint of heart either...you need to be smart, tough, head strong risk taker& go getter in that city!!
Your right NYC is a lot of things and I came to NYC with a stronger mind then anyone! 😊❤
Life truly does come in seasons. You have such amazing self awareness, so happy for you knowing and following what you know is right for you at the time! I moved out of NYC 2 years ago to move back in with my parents (now at the point where I honestly would love to move back, just trying to figure out the finances 😅) I loved hearing your experience, thank you for sharing!
Thanks so much for the sweet comment Melanie :)! And I wish you the best in you the best in next chapter!
Nothing wrong with what you did. Life is about taking risks and definitely a lot of learning experiences
The money you spent is so normal for a NYC resident!
the money she spenT after rent "maybe" is a studio apt rent .......where the hell did she find a place for $1500/mo ???!!??....LMAO
There are some parts of Brooklyn and more uptown Manhattan where it is possible to get a studio for $1500.
This is soooooo real. Thank you for making this video. I moved to NYC as a recent post-grad (am still currently here) and while I love this city, and always will, I find myself wondering what life would be life if I moved back to my home state and started my life there. Because its TRUE, the cost/benefit ratio is INSANE, especially for a post-grad working their first full-time job, and there is no real NYC fantasy unless you're making an absurd amount of money which allows you to live that kind of life. Thank you for being so transparent with this and just know you are not at all alone in how you're feeling!!!
Thank you for such a kind comment! I hope you’re enjoying your time in NYC and just post-grad life in general :)
I live in NYC. born and raised. I too live with my parents, can't afford to live here. trying to leave eventually. NYC is not for the week, it should just be a touring city unless you can afford to live here. anyways, great video.
That’s what life is about, I want to wrap my grown kids in cotton wool, but I know avoiding life is no life at all. You were brave and motivated enough to try, now that is truly living. Some people manage to live ‘ the dream’ the rest of us have to find happiness moving forward everyday and finding happiness in the everyday.
This is so brave girl! The choice to go, the choice to move back and the choice to share this ❤ there’s no shortcut to experience. Don’t give up, you’ll find your way as long as you keep going ✨
I had dreams of moving to NYC after graduation four years ago and was so frustated that I couldn't find any jobs in New York, while I got to see some of my classmates living their best lives while I was still back in my hometown living with my parents (which Im absolutely greatful for cause i was able to save so much money after getting a job). This was a year before COVID. Fast forward until now--moved out of my parents home an hour away at 24, graduated at my local college. While it wasn't in NYC, but the community I created around me was one of the best things ever and really have been enjoying a simpler life. NYC didn't work out as I wanted but maybe everything happens for a reason. idk if i'd be able to handle it tbh
I’m happy to hear that! And you should feel proud of yourself ... the fact that you’ve been able to make the most out of this season of your life (even if it’s maybe not what you initially planned) is really great. Sometimes we can get so attached to our “dream” that we lose sight of the beauty in our present.
Your story is very similar to mine. In 2010 I moved to NYC from Chicago right after graduating from university since it was a life long dream, since like you, I thought living in New York would solve all my problems and "reinventing" myself since I identified more with being a NYer than a Chicagoan since I was a child (NYer's would probably roll their eyes at that and I cringe now looking back at how I acted like a caricature of a NYer in my first year there)
I lived there for about 5 years before the 24/7 grind and competitive lifestyle, paying increasingly expensive rent each year, pressure to keep up with not just your social group but even wealthy NYers since 1/2 the city seems like their millionaires started to add up (New York does something to people's perception of money and how much things should cost also) I also had my first job and first relationship. The first 2-3 years I loved it. Though, after a break up in late 2013 that's when it started to unravel into anxiety and depression. I hadn't done any inner work or preparation to deal with everything life throws at you and experiencing the real world for the first time in NY is at 22 is crazy unless you have tons of money. In 2016 I moved back home to Chicago devastated I had "failed" to make it there and thought I was giving up my NYC dreams but now I realized I didn't fail and also wasn't ready financially and emotionally to live in New York.
There are TONS of young adults who also moved away from NYC (in fact I noticed a trend of NYC influencers moving away post-pandemic) since it is such an expensive and difficult city to live in. Honestly, I'm glad I wasn't living there during the pandemic and was in the burbs of Chicago instead. It was just an interesting chapter of my life. I still like NY but now I go back to visit as a tourist. Life does def come in seasons.
My daughter went to college in Manhattan and stayed for 6 years. She loves many things about the city,but it's a lot to do every day to just live. Her rent was over $2,000 a month for a tiny box. She's leaving the city and I'm so glad.
It's good you had the experience and a blessing you had parents and a home to come back to!
NYC is NOT the same as it was in the 90’s. I lived there from 1993 to 2003. It was wonderful- very good broadway shows, lots of cheap restaurants to pick from, excellent night life, etc etc. It was also funky, dangerous in some area, horrible subway, lots of construction. It changed in the early 2000’s for the worst. I lived in Greenwich Village and my rent was $500 plus (my parents bought the apartment, explained my rent) …. I saw how it all went downhill. I enjoyed my time there, now I’m a country guy living in the woods.
As someone who was 14 a CHILD when I was sent to Nigeria to be alone with people I don’t know I
Completely understand when you say that you needed your loved ones right now
I’m so proud of you. Your self awareness will guide you to better places. It’s very important to stick with your intuition and make the most of what you can. Early twenties is normally just feeling lost, but now you have family and community to help ground you and support you when you make your next move. Best of luck.
Thanks Liana for the very kind comment! I hope you’re doing well and having a great summer so far.
I'm glad you got to experience it a little and made a good decision to move back home. Cheers to you and hope you're more cozy at home now!
Thank you for being vulnerable and sharing such a personal moment!
Thanks so much! Glad you enjoyed the video :). It was super therapeutic to make.
thanks for sharing, take care, wishing all the best & success with your UA-cam channel ... keep working.
Good for you for taking a chance and trying something new. You’ll land on your feet. Prayers and hugs.
This was so touching to listen to ❤ thank you for being transparent and sharing your story ❤ new subbie
I did the same thing but only for 2 months I just got back home a couple weeks ago and am trying to figure out what the next best move is for me. There's so much romanticization of NYC, especially for the way it was 20-30 years ago, and living there made me realize that the old narrative no longer exists. It's really hard jumping straight from A to Z, but the realization could only have come through experience! Good for you for posting this!!
I have been there too girl. I thought moving away for the college would solve my mental health crisis nobody knew about it. I moved away, and it made it worse, i dropped out and moved back. Im better now but i felt like a failure. However, it was just only the beginning. I am wayy better now but I felt like running away would solve all my problems. Lesson learned, it doesn't. Thank you for sharing your story!
Yeah it’s truly a hard lesson to learn! But I'm glad to hear that you made the right decision (as difficult as it may have been) for you, and are better for it.
Good on you for following your gut and staying with your parents. That’s a level of maturity and self awareness that will serve you well over the course of your life. 😊
Appreciate how real you kept this video - as someone who's romanticized and wanted to move to NYC
Thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. I too have a similar story…
Wow I really needed this video as a person who is currently living in New York. I’m just realizing it drains me more than I feel necessary but then the thought of moving home makes me feel like I’m giving up. This video was super helpful
I'm so glad that you found my story helpful! I really hope you’re able to make the most of your time in New York and ultimately make the decision (to stay or leave or something else) that feels right for you. Trust your instincts!
Hi CJ! Thanks for sharing. Good luck, and God bless you. Peace!
Thanks Keith!
Hey, great video. Truth is always paramount. I watched because I have always had a longing to move to NYC, but I totally understand your pov. Your family house looks dope by the way. Not sure I'd move from there.... 😊 Thanks.
all of this is so relatable i experienced the same moving out of state and now im back home and so much happier
First off let me say good for you for sharing your story. You are a very smart person I'm sure that any company would love to have you. Sounds like financially you were able to move back home without much to worry about, which is awesome. This is the best time to find what makes you happy.
You seem wise beyond your years. Chicago has a LOT to offer. Your pup is darling.
Thank you Kimberly 😀!
So wise of you to reevaluate ❤
Your contents are great.
I enjoyed watching them.
Your fan from Papua New Guinea mc a.
I did the exact same thing I moved to Florida
and only lasted 2 1/2 months so bravo to you you lasted way longer. When I moved back to the Midwest almost 3 years ago I can honestly say I’m in a much better place then before I moved to Sarasota!❤️🙌
So glad you made the right decision for you, Julie! The Midwest is just too great lol.
You are a wise young lady. Thank You for being real in a world of fairy tale. You are doing great, keep going🍎 Subscriber.
Thank you so much!
Try it again ... When u try again your being using what u experience. It didn't work out and that's ok... At least u tried. Move on to the next goal.. ❤❤❤ U GOT THIS
Little sis I’m so proud of you for trying it out, most people never try out! Sometimes it doesn’t work out. One of my homegirls had to be a hard bitch for three years before she found a full nyc bartendership - that’s cool but tbh for what? You are going to find your most happy place, and the fact you were unafraid to move back home and calculate is amazing. You did right. A stranger but I’m proud of you. :) you are going to have a happy interesting life!!
Not sure how I stumbled across this, I'm much older (30), but I have to say you did exactly what you should have. There are many people my age and older with a slew of regrets because they let someone, often their own self, box them in. You did something different, you took a risk. You went, you tried it, it didn't work out the way you wanted and that's totally fine! My mom used to tell me that not every closed door is rejection, sometimes it's protection - you never know what you dodged by deciding to move back home when you did. No shame in turning to community and your support system during transitions. Congratulations on venturing out on your own, it's been awhile since you posted so I hope you're feeling more validated in that decision. If not, I promise - by the time you turn 30, this will be something you pat yourself on the back for.
It is a good thing you went, so many people spend their lives looking back at the road not taken and imagining a false existence that would have made them happy. They don't appreciate the life they have because of that. Im from a smaller town I encouraged my kids to leave and try things on their own. If they come back, they come back knowing what they are choosing.
NYC is pricey. Don’t be ashamed how much you spent annually there. Most of us spent even more annually. I loved in NY from 2015 to 2022. And I loved my time there. It was time for me to move on in 2022. I still visit NY regularly for some activities and also to see my friends
Do you think if you joined social groups and got involved with local stuff it would of been easier to stay? A year is a long time, you should be proud of yourself that you tried:)
The way to success entails a lot of failures. Work hard, look after yourself and good things will come ❤ Btw I find you brave for sharing your story.
Thank you Hazar for the kind words! I hope you are doing well and enjoying whatever season of life you’re in.
I've been in the North for about 8 years and people are more stressed then the south and covid only added to the stress and more to NYC! Said a long time ago Live and Learn!😊
Only people who are well into their careers should move to New York City, and make sure that career is cracking 6 figures. This is advice that I would give to anybody.
If your just starting off, get a job in a small town or small city. The only time you should move to a big metropolitan area when your just staring out is if your entry level job is bringing in 120k+. If not, start off in a smaller, cheaper area, stack your money, invest, buy property, and move around once your stable.
*wherever you go, there you are*
super relatable
Lol, I moved to NYC with 3 Dog's!! I Just Did....and thankfully a family member helped But they probably did it to show me i didn't have to spend 1,000 for 50sq ft. Of living 😮
I like NYC a lot but I like my country more and my world even morer! 😊
Never give up.
Girl it’s just a stepping stone, TRUST ME😉
Lived in NYC all my life with my family but did I watch this whole video as if I could resonate? Yes😂
Omgg I’m a Chicago girl too ❤ damn even with a cheaper rent nyc is double what it costs to live in Chicago river north
I think the most valuable stuff you left out was the actual expenses. Like what was it that had to spending 2k a month on. Food transportation? Was any of it bills you didn't need? I'm long to NYC in a few months and that is the stuff I think about.
Thanks for the feedback! That’s a really good point. I was spending $1500/month on rent and then outside of that my expenses varied a lot (celebrating friends bdays, travel, eating out, etc, etc). I think it’s definitely possible to spend less if you keep your rent low, since that's almost always the biggest expense.
@@cjscorner6302Yeah those “other” expenses were extremely high for a single person. You can live very well for much less than that in any city.
Moved to a different country with different language at 22, and 3 cities after that.Honestly if you need your family and friends as support system you won’t make it in another city. You need a huge drive and a dream connected to a new place not just a fantasy. Moving is expensive, living in a different place from your family is a sacrifice. Maybe you get married in your city and move to a new place as a family. For me I felt I would die if I stayed at home town, I had to get out and pursue my dreams. I’ve head many emotional problems since then but it wouldn’t be better at home.
Thanks for sharing a bit of your story! That is truly incredible that you’ve made so many moves and built a life out in so many different places around the world. And I totally get what you’re saying ... moving far away from family is a sacrifice, and I think in this season of my life, it just wasn’t a sacrifice I was willing to make.
I think as you mature you can move to a big city. At least you took the risk and you can learn from your mistakes.
i've lived in nyc for 7 years, grew up right outside of the city. imo you need to be making a minimum of about $90k to live here alone in one of the super trendy, safe areas, and still be able to comfortably save for your future. honestly even when i was making that i still had 2 roommates..
Appreciate your honesty and story. Personally I think NYC is over hyped and a dump. A lot of these big cities are living on their past glories - not just NYC. All the best for your future.
New york City is a place of broken dreams. You need a particular type of mentality to live here and the ability to be cut throat. It is not for the weak. I highly do not recommend living here unless you are ready to be lonely, and stressed about where you are going all the time, the rent and expenses are high unless you have a really good paying job (which many of us do not have) and ready to see some of the strangest things. - A New Yorker Born and Raise.
"You cant run from yourself". Definitely, a long hard lesson to accept at least for me! Trust if you haven't addressed the inner machinations of your heart and mind, you will be miserable!
Happened to me when I moved to Oakland CA after college. I was told I could live on 40K a year. Not true, not possible. Moved back to the east coast.
Sometimes you gotta take a step back to leap forward! Hold the faith and trust God's plan 🙏
But she's got that Brooklyn vibe thou Bronx tends to be overlooked thou
How did your family feel about you moving yo NYC?
You had character development!
I was born in ny and never knew that there were larger homes, larger schools, larger communities until I moved to PA 😂
❤
I don't know how old you are but you look extremely young, you'll be fine. You're still breathing, it's not the end of the world. God less you.
I could have told you it wasn’t going to work but it’ll all be ok
This was me I should do a video too
Priceyyy is an understatement. More like criminal 6:35
😊😅😂❤
girl how were you spending that much bc i live in NYC too but i pay $2100 in rent but on top of that spend $1500 pretty comfortably???
Girl, move to Chicago it’s a nice city
Those rents seem to be Manhattan. Got to look for cheaper housing options
You can't run away from yourself
I did. I'm hiding around a dark corner. Hope I don't find me.
Just hang in there, turn your situation to God, the dreams he started in you he will finish in you.
Here are some amazing quotes for your journey.
-Every failed experiment is one step closer to success.
-Thank God in advance for what's already yours.
-True desire in the heart for anything good is God's proof to you sent beforehand to indicate that it's yours already.
Hope we can be friends ❤ new subbie
Just subscribed to your channel! Love that you're all about traveling and self-discovery :).
Were you eating out all the time?
well yeah, I moved to Los Angeles, I had a few family members, but they don't know me well. And men come to me, if you don't have friends.... those men will take advantage of you. People don't care about you. and they don't know you. I just wish my family would live in Los Angeles before I was born, so that I can grow up there and know many people there. But oh well.
Honestly the cost of living in Florida is at that same level now. Sucks 🤷🏽♀️
I have been in NYC most of my life, and could never understand why people would want to come here so badly. It is hard over here. I am not a hater but things are not all that it seems here.. NYC is a nice place to visit but it is not a great place to live UNLESS you own a home here. If you don't own a home here, you have to have a job that will have you make 100K a year to live comfortably. It is also dirty and a lot of the structures are old, and so in. For the cost of living there it is not worth it. There is nothing wrong with moving back home if you have a wonderful family that loves you and will support you. I think in America in general, Americans are told to get out there and leave your family and do it all on your own, that's not always a good idea.
what kind of doggy do you have? cute!!
He’s a miniature poodle! When we first got him as a baby, he was like a golden brown color but weirdly he’s faded to more of dusty brown over time lol.
@@cjscorner6302 👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻👍🏻
Your dog is biting and licking his paw take to vet might be infected between his pads.
i love that pooch
Where were you living that it was 1500 a month? That's cheap!
You took a chance and it wasnt for you. Life is about changes. This one wasnt meant for you. At least you didnt waste more time on something that wasnt working for you.
Thought you were independent?!
No one can survive NY
I do not know why people they can make it in NY.everything is overpriced, crime is rampant.No one could pay me to go live in NY
NYC is no place to be!
What is a place to be?
Yeah statistically women find less success when moving to a completely new location than men. This is greatly due to psychological issues of being alone and toughing it out.
There's nothing joyous about NYC lil girl. You watched too much Sex And The City
Blame Biden for that, NY used to be a place that dreams were made of!
Your problem is you’re not finished growing up. Chicago is not exactly a small town but you nested instead of growing up. When I moved to NYC, I was not yet 22 yrs.old. The saying was at the time that no one was born here. You grew up in a cocoon. Stay in Chi town. New York is for grown ups.
You obviously haven’t actually grown up because only a child would feel the need to leave this comment on a video of someone sharing something about their life. 🙄
Thanks for the comment, and I actually disagree with you there! Being a “grown up” is making decisions that feel right and aligned with you and taking life into your own hands. I enjoyed, learned, and grew during my year in NYC and decided to move on. Glad you enjoyed your time there too!
She’s still growing. Like everyone.
What a condescending thing to say. Growth is not something that just stops. It should be a lifelong process. Furthermore, you speak on your experience as if it happened years ago, when the cost of living was vastly different.
Applaud the woman for her self reflection and introspection. It takes maturity and growth to sit with yourself and be truthful.
@@jazzyj6640😊❤ sweet and simple!