Toxic family members! 😭👀 | Episode 66
Вставка
- Опубліковано 18 жов 2022
- A highly requested topic! Many of us are dealing with at least one toxic family member. It can be incredibly tough to navigate because of all the meaning we place on family. Should you draw boundaries, black tax…where’s the line ? So many questions so we are sharing how we’ve been able to deal with some of our toxic family members. Tell us in the comments how you’ve been able to deal with toxic family members or are you the toxic family member ?😁
P.S. This is a sensitive issue and each person is allowed to deal with it as they please so let’s be mindful to each other in the comments.
Enjoy the listen and follow us for more content!
UA-cam: TMI Podcast KE - / @tmipodcastke
Instagram:
TMI Podcast KE - tmipodcastke?ut...
Lydia KM - _lydiakm?...
Murugi Munyi - murugi.munyi?ut...
Congratulations! 🎊🎊
Having lost my mum at a pretty early age and gotten a step mum, I know fully well how toxic someone can be. Plus she would insult me all my life. I went back home last year after my biz and life crumbled and now I had to tolerate her when she is around. However, I told her one thing, she won't take me back to therapy. God has restored me and I got an amazing amazing amazing job, even when she called me useless and stupid. Growing up, she would beat me and tell me to go cry at my mother's grave. I don't have her number, we don't talk, and I'm comfortable living like that. And I'm never letting her into my inner space again. Boundaries. I used to send her money, but now, I won't do it, maybe in the future. But the fact that she sees I'm flourishing even with all her insults, stings her to the core.
That's it
U won't take me back to therapy Damn
God carry you further
I really do feel everything you've mentioned as I've lived it as well. I also have a stepmom, and it's honesltg6left me with so much trauma, been treated like I'm nothing since an early stage. Now that I live alone I'm honestly working on myself to heal and I have aso cut my ties with her, blocked her in every social media platform, all for my peace. I don't want her knowing what's going on in my life and hers as well ✨ I'm so much better and with my peace now compared to how I was before. My heart goes out to every child out there with a step parent, it's not always easy but we'll definitely emerge stronger and better ❤️ love you!
@@teeshhh2951 oh babygal ❤️. I say this with confidence, you will heal. May you continue working on yourself and may you prosper..love you!
Huggs mummy..we serve a God of restoration he prepared a table in the presence of your enemies 🙏
I saw a TikTok that said, the day you find out who your parents really are, you will either be grateful or extremely heartbroken. Because sometimes it's the positions they have in our lives that blind us from seeing who they really are.
Ooof..I felt that..deeply..
Ouch
This is So Deep.. I felt it!
😢😢
Truth...
This is a great discussion. I wish in future we can talk about toxic workplaces and coworkers.
Talk about it girl this is a much needed conversation
Yeah this is needed
Glad we won yaaay 🎉
Lyd you owe us a conversation about manifestation…you said you’ll tell when we win 🏆 here we are waiting 😌😌🎊
Apparently I feel like the toxic one , I just don't care if we talk or not . No drama but if you don't reach out , 5yrs of silence loading. We shall talk when in need, like those friendships that you go months without talking but will be good when you talk again.
I’m a big advocate for setting boundaries and this topic couldn’t be better but you only concentrated on parents and a bit of cousins and you left out sibling’s ( brothers and sisters) which I believe is bigger than the parents dynamics. Let’s talk more on this( siblings)
I think the siblings... that should be a whole nther topic on it's own...coz that sibling dynamic is a double edged serrated sword in a complex maze.
This is everything. Expecially if you are the ‘good child’ parents dump issues of the ‘bad children’ on you and it’s exhausting and draining.
ouuuuu child,,,,with a toxic sibling I would loooooove to have this topic discussed...A sibling always on your neck.Please please address this
A topic on BLACK TAX should be a whole other video by its self
It's draining 🤦♀️
Please PIN this comment!!!!!
Most black parents have had very minimal income that had no retirement plan so I think this mentality should be checked as well…. They literally lived salary to salary supporting immediate and extended family so giving some support back should not be seen as such a burden
@@carolinengunga9861 I don't think you know what black tax is. Black tax is not sending your mum 5k for chama or your dad occasional cash when he's down and your sibling has fees arrears. Black tax prevents people from from any progressions in their lives and it is seen as compulsory or expected without any consideration given to you or your needs
@@lornamaina7945 this is what black tax has been interpreted to be but the logic behind is (and I mean specifically with parents not entitled relatives) that this is my money why do you expect me to send you 5k every month but that I find a total disregard of the entire system and viewing narrowly why they “expect“ this
I have to compliment Murugi today. I feel like you always share from the heart. You are not trying to make a point, you genuinely are sharing and it is refreshing! I am sure you both do that, but it comes out with you more. That is why you complement each other well!
I relate to the Father n daughter.. Our Dad is always asking for cash n will never ask how is business, how you are. It's all about cash. My younger sister one day asked him why he doesn't find out how we are n said that's not his business. So I called him n told him "I feel relationship we have is all our money." And he went silent. And until today, no greetings n no concern. I now choose to have boundaries and respond when necessary n with God's wisdom. Great content. Congratulations to your mile stone. First time here n glad to join this online family. May the Holy Spirit continue to guide you both through this wonderful ministry.
I love this topic today,one of the best thing my mum did is,,she brought us up by separating us from pple or family that were toxic to her…like her mum or my grandmother is a toxic person so my mum made sure to keep that relationship far…like we love u but from a distance…she made sure that we were safe…growing up I never understood why we never went to some family gatherings but now as a grown up I see it…I feel like that is one way to protect ur space,ur family.❤❤
You are so lucky some of us have grown up surrounded with toxic people 😢now an very careful if you're toxic am cutting ties
These girls are very smart. I like them. I am an African mother, old enough to be their mom.❤
Listening to you guys talk is like a free therapy session.
Yes setting boundaries can work towards a better relationship
In my case when I was joining uni my parents wanted me to stay with my sister but on her case she was not ready for that and she made it clear it couldnt work. At first we thought it was toxicity of a kind but with time I learnt to respect her boundaries because that's her space and am not entitled to it. It's been three years down line and I love how we have been having a healthy relationship with her,, which maybe would have been damaged by me staying at her place.
Thank you Lydia and Murugi for the amazing insights. This is a full therapy session free
Setting Boundaries Means being ready to loose people 💯 After i said enough is enough,that living abroad doesn’t mean I can’t say no when it comes to money I’ve lost alot of family members 😩
I needed to listen to this, i struggled with cutting of a friendship for a year. I finally did this year and the loneliness just hit and it is the most heartbreaking thing that has ever happened to me 😢. The most painful thing is seeing them with other people( friends who they met through you) . They have kids and it breaks my heart that i cannot see them and i genuinely love kids. 😢
I can relate. Sorry about it but its the best thing that could happen. With time, you will feel less pain and it will eventually stop hurting you.
N m here trying to cut off a friend but ahh
Congratulation on the huge win! You ladies deserve it, you work so hard to bring to light some of the difficult topics that are mostly discussed in whispers. Today's episode was lit! I could totally relate the whole time. It's sad how more often people fail to recognize toxic family members and have to stand them anyway just because they are family. It feels so relieving, and I think people should stop beating themselves up for rightfully protecting themselves from toxic family members. The funny thing, even those close to us like our parents or siblings can end up being very toxic. This is so enlightening.
Fastofoo CONGRATULATIONS LADIES🎊
Very well deserved and earned. We're so proud of you. Your content is great and legit and you clearly put in work and thoughts to what you do.
Today's episode was so triggering......
I think most of us born 70's,80's and 90's need therapy, our parents didn't know better and on the other hand we're so enlightened and self aware and recognize the toxic environment we were raised in.
It's a lot, it's heavy, most of us need therapy and I hope we seek it so that we can do better for the generations we bring up.
The hardest truth I've learned this year is 'Your parents are not heroes '
Wow i have really learnt alot from todays episode , i have been blaming myself for sometime now for not being able to speak to one of my primary family member and today this episode validates the decesion that i took not to talk to this particular family member. indeed this episode cements it all. my emotional well being and peace are of utmost importance . Thank you beautiful people
Congratulations on the win 🏆 ladies. This topic was a heavy one for me but much needed. I will need to revisit this at a later point in order to process the talking points. Especially about the cost that comes from setting those boundaries, that hit hard. Thank you so much for being so open with us, it has really helped me to self reflect.
Much needed in this era of mental wellness being so crucial. Family are God given but boundaries are a must because YOU come first. Same family members will burry you guiltfree over toxicity that pushed YOU to the grave.
Absolutely
Congratulations Lydia and Murugi 🎶💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽 from the Kingbetweeners 👑😎🤝🏾
Not me weeping through this episode. Thank you ladies and congratulations on your award ❤❤
Love seeing yo friendship dynamic, your validation of each other and growth..
Am so amazed u talked into my heart I just broke up with my best friend for five years it was one sided I felt this bt yesterday I just decided to deal with the consequences of breaking up
Ladies,thank you so much.This has answered so many questions.It has helped me heal.
What I have learnt over time is create some distance with fam, it creates respect 💯
Sure💯
So true
Distance and keep private
Thank you guys for talking about this ladies , toxic parents are a very hard thing to deal with , Lydia you are a very evolved person I appreciate you sharing your wisdom and ur experiences, Murigu I saw the mother in you in this episode you were so compassionate, yes u are definitely a lion 🦁
This episode!! Love it! No victimhood, just plain responsibility over your own life. Also, congratulations🎊🎊
I don’t think I have shared an episode with so many people before! I even put it on blast in my high school Whatsapp group! The thing with boundaries is I feel it’s a working progress! You live you learn you know better and do better!
I feel blessed to have such an amazing mum and my late father was such a great dad.
This is a very good topic I wish I watched it when you aired it. I am currently undergoing therapy coz of toxic family members that's my mum and my younger brother. I almost lost it. I now feel it's ok to walk away from them coz I have been held hostage for a very long time with guilt trip. Thank you girls.
I love that opening question and it's fantastic that Lydia said you can have virtual therapy from wherever you are because it's true. I'm a therapist and I offer that service. Like Lydia said, please don't sit in your pain ❤️
How can someone reach u?
How can I get you?
Waiting for your response 🙂
How can people reach you?
You are God sent , bringing the tough conversations to the table is revolutionary thanks a-lot 🤗#teamTMI . Congratulations on the recent win👏🏾
This conversation should have been complete with a sit down with Akothee considering what's happening between her and her sister and also her parents
Exactly
True
This was a free therapy sessio.I have watched all TMI episoded,and this is my favourite, please do more of these. Thank you.
Congratulations ladies. This is good, my coping method is ghosting and running for the hills.
Listening to Lydia is a free therapy session.Amazing convo ladies.
A topic on social anxiety please 🥺
Am sure you guys can't relate coz you seem very extroverted but maybe you can have some helpful points.😄
Cousins especially from the dads sides..weuh T for tough!! I am at a stage in my life where i will unfriend/block/unfollow any toxic individual irregardless of family member/collegue/friend for my own peace of mind!!
If it messes with your peace of your mind hunnie he or she garraa go!!
💯
Couldn't agree more
Congrats TMI on your win. Take home today is BOUNDARIES BOUNDARIES!
This is a heavy topic!! I don't think people realize how crazy this could fuck you up!! Mehn it makes you question your entire existence! Great topic!
Soo informative, so therapeutic.Thank you ladies
I just love you guys so much, your content makes me laugh a lot,and keeps me company now that I stay alone..
this is relatable from a real life perspective. glad to have learnt a thing or two
Congratulations Ladies ❤️ 🥂 to many more wins 🎉Loving the conversation
Congratulations on all the Wins!!!!! I pray for your continued growth and success!!!! Love you guys so so much!!!!!!
In betweeners hoyeee🎉🎉💃🏿💃🏿🤸🏿♀️. Congrats🍾🥂❤️❤️💐👏🏾👏🏾would do it again and again. Keep being your authentic selves😍😍. Hii topic manze😌.
TMI is so deserving of those awards 🥰 Love this show so much
This was so insightful hearing how Lydia drew boundaries with her dad 🥹.I did the same with my bio mom it’s going on 4 years with no contact.I dont even know where she lives anymore or have her number.The first year was so hard as my dad was like that’s your mom but I finally let that perspective go and now I no longer feel guilt for cutting her off my life and I don’t have plans of inviting her back .
Thank you so much for sharing
Woi I feel for you as I had to do the same thing 20 years ago. I moved to the states to get away from my biological mother and she finally found me a year ago and I realized she was still with the drama and I cried for a while day cos the katoto in me was hoping to get her mum back but it wasn't the case. I hope you find healing in the process
@jisie Gacau.. Its your courage I need.. Having the same issue as well😭
@@glad2balive Hugs to you. This must be so hard for you.
@josieGacau hugs to you babes.
@@Lily_muthengi You are stronger than you think. You've got this!
Congratulations TMI💃🥳🥳🥳 #Alldeservingforsure. Queen betweeners we did it🎊
My favorite UA-cam pair, I learn tones from you gals, congratulations on your wins
I wanted to cry at the last part where Lydia was complimenting Murugi. Such a beautiful moment, your friendship is inspiring
You're therapists yourself especially Lydia...love you both
The energy here is phenomenal
Love the consistency ❤️❤️❤️
I'm late to watching but I related so much with this episode . I was always the 'kill them with kindness ' kind of person and was always giving to toxic a family member and that almost killed me I got the heartbreak of the year and I decided to set boundaries and it has been so good sometimes I almost forget the things that have happened in the past unless brought up in conversation BUT I have to say any interaction with the toxic family member - although it's usually on my terms leaves me feeling sooo bad 😞 . I feel so guilty and I feel like I could do so much more but really I can't because it will lead me back where I started. I also have a partner who has such a good and healthy relationship with his family and that triggers me so much because I'm like why can't it be like this for me 😭😭😭. It's hard setting boundaries and facing the consequences but you just have to do it to be happy in your life.
Loved this episode!! Congratulations on your win ladies
What Murugi said at 39:00, that is us at home😆😆😆I’m 22 and we really say hi and disappear till the next greeting is due💀once parent x comes in. I realized it recently and at this point I’m protecting myself cause every time i go to the living room I’m just like “eh eh eh walking on EGGSHELLS!” And when we were younger we would be CHASED AWAY FROM THE LIVING ROOM CAUSE WE ARE SHOUTING 😢don’t kids shout?
i don’t feel bad about walking to my room because I’m so over spending time with people who don’t care about it
I’m so glad I stopped caring
😂
The look Lydia gave at the 52.17 mark as she was talking abt women who justify their mens' toxic habits, had me in stitches. 🤣
I am of the view that the 5th commandment, "Honour Your Parents" should be approached from a logical POV as opposed to an emotional one esp in these toxic situations.
Logic dictates that ya parents are human, flawed & shld be held accountable for their actions/behaviour, respectfully offcourse.
Emotion on the other hand dictates that ya parents are untouchables(above/beyond reproach) who do no wrong, which opens the door for parents becoming very manipulative twds their kids whilst quoting/weaponizing the Good Book.
Logic vs emotion will give u that good balance to navigate the thin precarious line btn healthy & toxic r/s with parents.
❤️ u gals...what a time to be alive, to have TMI in our lives.
I agree. Religion and 'culture' help keep very toxic parents on an unnecessary pedestal.
this session wah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!thank you x a million for this !
Congratulations ladies🥳🥳 Well deserved!!
Love from Germany
Excited to see another Queenbetweener from Germany💃🏿💃🏿
Where in DE are you at?
I loved this episode. You girls are a gift
Congratulations Murugi and Lydia. Keep giving your best.
Not me waiting for 12pm every Wed 🤗🤗 ,,,,I applaud you 👏 👏 for the commitment ❤️the day I get to click here and miss an episode my nails will grow upside down 😭
Not upside down😂😂
@@beloncekamz2821 I swear 😂😂😭
Its extremely disheartening that parents and close family members act so toxic that we have to get away. I have gone through a lot of sh*t in my life and till date my worst fear is not having enough money and having to live with my parents. I am grateful for my family though but living with them is like killing me on the inside
Thankyou for this...everything you send here I'm helped can relate....
Uuuuuuh extended familyis the WORST and when you go under its just gossip but yoh! just keep a distance
I screamed so hard when I heard TMI bag the win..
Queen betweener ❤️❤️.
Congrats Murugi too on your win. Am such an ardent follower of your content..
I love it here ❤️
Congratulations ladies, well done. You guys do a good job, I love this channel. Best wishes,
I enjoyed this TOPIC Soo much.
Lydia, "you can't be 30, breastfeeding and on phone about daddy issues 😂😂😂".
That was a funny visual, BUT, I did not begin to take my boundary issues seriously until I had a child of my own and I was like, "Nope. I am not carrying this baggage into my babies life" and I am peeping 40 with both my eyeballs. It's never too late BUT when you get the information PLIZ PLIZ PLIZ start.
I know what you mean. When you have a child whatever traumas and pain you have on them affect your parenting. Having my daughter made it very urgent for me to focus on healing from all my past stuff so that I could raise her the best way that I could.
Congratulations ladiesss🎉🎉 well well deserved💙
Happy to be here.okay I'm now over thinking you guys prerecorded the pulse award part thankgod we won what would have happened to that part🥴.life of influencers .CONGRATULATIONS to ussss🥰🥰🥰
😅😅I also noticed they pre-recorded that part of winning
I think they would have easily just cut it out since it was at the very beginning 😀
Congratulations ladies! happy for you!
As consistent as ..... TMI podcast🧨💥😍
Congratulations 👏👏 In betweeners all the way ❤️❤️
I love TMI for your out of the box topics and delivery. I wish i cd subsrcibe 100000 times kkkkkk
So very educative I relate with alot of different things uv talked of
Congratulations loves
Congratulations guys🥳🥳🥳 love from Malawi😍
Completely gone doesn’t break you Murugi. They are already broken that’s why they chose to leave and forget the family.
"Cousins in Africa is so problematic" just quoting Murugi and this couldn't be more truer 🙌
Congratulations my gals..love the episode I'm also a work in progress..great space to be in for sure
Congratulations ladies 💞💞
🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 congratulationnssss girlies ❤❤❤
I always thought its heartbreaking to have bad friends until i encountered a toxic parent for 30yrs and relatives. Wuehhh. I even told God am done and wished them well. My life is more peaceful, has order and harmony. I cant trade that even with relas
Congratulations ladies, so happy for you.❤🇳🇦
Guys are you feeling what I'm feeling after watching this episode and through it ....wooooow ladies we don't deserve you. I love you Lyd and Murugi
My first video to watch in bits .......it was so much,.coz my extended family is extra toxic
Strangely, I watched Joan and her dad on her channel one time and thought 'she's sooo lucky to have a dad like him'. I have been fantasising of having a supportive dad and using that scenario over and over again. Kumbe tuko wengi. It really is a painful experience. I cut him off in 2019 and everyone under the sun including my mum says he is your dad at the end of the day. It was validating listening to you ladies today. Lydia, my dad is now a senior citizen who didn't save for retirement. I have been dreading getting calls that he needs this and that. Working on releasing that guilt.
Have you ever thought if the reason why he didn't save for retirement is coz he was taking care of u guys education and food.
Hey Lydia and Murugi. Congrats on your award. We love you. Could you guys do meet and greet? We would really appreciate ☺️
And we look together😅😅😅all of us now queenbetweeners
This episode is so theraputic.
Congrats sister's.. The award was well deserved 😍🙏
Congratulations in order Much love 💖💖💖💖
Loved this episode.
25:20 this should be on a t.shirt!! I always have disagreements with my friends on this point. My take is you're grown, you can cut people off and that's okay. Hell, cutting people is what I do for a living!!I swear if you cross my peace of mind, expect that block!!That simple!! Can't be out here stressed over another human!!
Congratulations 👏👏👏👏 Ladies
Ladies!
First of all, you look amazing. Second, the truth bombs dropped in this episode should be sent to all parents, relatives and everyone because in all honesty learning how to navigate such relationships should be taught in schools.
So thank you ladies❤
I feel bad that I can't spend time with my nephews like before coz I drew a boundary with my sister. We had a great relationship with them 😢