I don't even trust my closest friends or my own family. But, I do enjoy taking to total strangers because it's the only time where I can feel stay being my own authentic self without being shamed or criticized.
@ Daniel C Brilliant observation! Exactly - I find it a treat to talk to total strangers: no sweat, no pain, no Machiavellian undercurrents. Thanks for that insight, UA-cam stranger!
I got to the point where I don't try to hold back from being my authentic self for anyone. Strangers are so easy to talk to like in the grocery store. Truly refreshing and a feel good thing for me!!! Then friends and family are indifferent and our expectations are high. Expectations suck! Guess what, I got judged instead of understood until they watched my actions. Slowly but surely they would inquire about some things and we drew closer. I trust that we're all human so trust isn't going to be perfect anyway. I try to tell myself that it is ok to trust until the red flags appear. I try to keep the mindset that I or them is going to be at a loss if communication isn't thourall enough with an open mind to be able to get outta the box to look at other perspectives until we can really understand. Those are the real people who stay in our lives. Only when actions speak louder or as much as our words.✌️💞
True, I don't trust anyone anymore, in a relationship sense. On the other hand, I've accepted who I am and enjoy being alone now since I don't really need anyone else.
Some people stay in total solitude for years, for spiritual deepening of their knowledge of themselves. KNOW THU SELF SO THU WILL KNOW THE UNIVERSE AND ITS GODS this is the advise toward the neophytes written on the front of the Delphes temple. A true HUMAN should be happy with people and happy without people. Similarly the true honest man is honest with the honest people and also honest with the non-honest people. I spare you the Jesus one. PEACE & LOVE
Same, but I’m learning to choose Safe people. I read a book called safe people. And finding that to some degree we do know who is good and who isn’t. We get ourselves into trouble when we don’t choose carefully. No one ever taught us to be this discerning before and to not simply give the benefit of the doubt. I made a list of the people in my life that are Safe, neutral, concerning, and Dangerous. I interact with these groups differently, I share less and build trust over time. But I never ignore flags or give trust freely anymore. Take care and choose safe people. Life is better together.
I'd honestly rather be alone than risk being in another toxic relationship. I have only a small circle of friends and that is more than enough for me. Even if they're unavailable, I like the safety of being alone.
When I learned to trust again, it opened doors to so many wonderful people and experiences. I have been so blessed since leaving the narc family members and learning to be myself again. This channel has helped me, among many others. Those of you who say you can't trust and that you're closing yourself off, you are doing a disservice to yourself. Apply the practices in this video and you'll learn to trust again. Will you NEVER get hurt again? No. But by learning to trust again it really does make life better. Not everyone is out to hurt others.
My gut feeling constantly says"RUN... RUN..." so that isn't going to help. I fell back to the trusted people from before the narc, didn't trust a single person ever since. And "in the end you'll have no one..." still better than having a narc in your life.
Totally understandable. 100% 🎭... Believers have a personal relationship with Jesus that says we can do all things through Him. Practicing my faith while enduring narcissistic people is truly difficult. I work w the public everyday . We could all be gentler to one another, all of us. Some of us loners who isolate do like to get along and not cause waves- Carefully and from a great distance... People, all person's, will eventually disappoint. The bar doesn't have to be high- people are going through... It's just so tough. Everyone is traumatized by this pandemic. So much uncertainty and fear from the news. Much division as mental health issues skyrocket. So, yeah exclusivity to oneself is certainly an effective strategy against narcissists. At least until you heal a little. Pain sucks the life out of everyone, right? Different strokes for different folks. I'm scared as hell of people myself. Scared as hell 😶
My motto now is trust but verify, but that only happens if the person I am dealing with gives me repeated reasons not to trust them. Thank for the video Michele.
spot on. I lost faith in my own self to the point I was unable to function properly at work. Since my work was testing oil and gas wells offshore, I became dangerous - the only escape became the days ashore in a Bar. The dirinking got a hold of me and then everything collapsed. Glad that ten years hace passed and I am recovering. Coming up for six years and no beers, Eleven years since the disgard. Life is a rollercoaster. Things take time.
My first gf was a total narc and cheated on me and lied and blamed me all the time.. i left her and took my time to mourn; started dating months later and got in a relationship with a new girl, i think is was the most wonderful person i know; however she ended up breaking up with me since i was having such a hard time trusting; i really tried and the first time i saw something that she did that triggered my ptsd i told her calmly and she was quite defensive.. made our relationship hell from then on. Even now looking back i cant trust that she was faithful or not; this is hell inside me
oh wow, this video hits so close to home. Thank you for explaining the complex PSTD process and the outcome of deep seated trust issues so accurately and yet also helping us with how to begin the healing process. Two thumbs way up Michele!
So true,do not trust them at all, trust yourself and leave them, remember one thing you deserve better, one everyone are not like this at all thank God, trust yourself heal up, great video Michelle take care of yourself and be blessed everyone.
Youve explained my experience perfectly. Ive pushed people away for years (decades). Only since I found out about cptsd have I realised why and what I was doing. My few good friends have stayed with me (thank goodness) Im working on it now.. trusting myself more everyday. My narc ex still tries to invalidate everything and anything I say.. but Im moving forward and (secretly) positioning and planing a new healthy life away from him. No more isolation.... I deserve a happy life 😊 Work though it people, you're worth it! 💗💝💗
Absolutely spot on... My ex did so many things to make me distrust her. Then tried to imply that I'm jealous or paranoid etc. When all along she was the jealous one and I was being gaslight. Ugh, it makes me feel unwell just thinking about it.
This is so true! I don't know how I can trust unless someone can prove to me that they won't hurt me. It's like when a guy asks me if they like me, in my mind I'm thinking even if I find them attractive, that I don't know them well enough to know if I like them or not and I'm sure that sounds strange if someone hasn't dealt with narcissistic abuse. When you have seen how some people can change behind closed doors, it can take time to build trust and a lot of people don't understand that.
I have major trust issues.. I can’t grasp how “good” people aren’t always good? So I’m hyper-vigilant? But, then I’m mostly right about my worst intuitions, so I’m rarely around “good” people. Where are all of the good people?!
This is the story of my life. Thirteen years ago, I finally went no contact with my toxic mother who hurt me every way she could. As a result, I trust no one. I have been unable form relationships or even date, because I immediately see red flags everywhere. I attract narcissistic people who hurt me. I now just completely avoid any type of closeness. I hold everyone at arms length and I don’t allow anyone to get near me. It’s the only way I feel safe.
Your videos are really helping me, thank you. ❤ been watching a lot lately after being diagnosed with ptsd, and regrettably, I think my partner of 27 years is part of the problem. I keep analysing myself and trying to check in with reality as much as I can.
The gift of the vlog provider is to get you to recognize what is already within. Like a good friend that cares enough to say, hey, I'm seeing something you may not realize yourself. A great analogy, lessen learned here is if trying to trust someone is producing a mental confusion "pain", it is all you need to know, a wake up call of monumental importance.
True. I have complex PTSD and met this charming narc that just wanted to make me confused. So need to move on but wish I could change her, discover love.
That’s me. I can’t really trust but at least I’ll die. I look forward to that. The funny thing is it really takes a toll on you after years and years of not being able to trust.
How many men here have chosen to ‘go their own way’ as a consequence of narcissistic abuse? How many are red pilled and too far down the rabbit hole to be considered toxic by others even when they themselves can’t see it? It’s second nature to people with personality disorders and fair bit of charm and smarts to don a mask and pretend to be someone just to charm and ‘bag’ a woman (aka the bad boys and assholes). Not being authentic is being abusive, and victims of abuse/trauma who feel they still have a shred of humanity left in them would much rather avoid getting into relationships and stay solitary.
I have recently dated a woman with trust issues from her past relationships. She suspects in every little actions or words. She pushed me away (rejecting and ignoring me) while continue to observe my actions. It was so damaging. I wanted to be faithful to her but she did not give me a clear intention. I did not know she had trust issue. I got so confused. Did she want me there or away? I offered to wait and work with her but she rejected it. It was exhausting. I know it is hard but no one can help besides yourself to learn to trust.
Since the narc in my life is covert and always playing the victim - I find it hard to believe anyone that says they're a victim - including myself and other narc abuse survivors! Sometimes on these UA-cam pages I feel suspicious that others leaving comments are actually covert narcissists playing the victim. In my rational brain, I know it is ridiculous, but I think it's an extreme defense mechanism I've developed in order to protect myself. My gut reaction when you mentioned having a new online group starting in November and thinking I might want to join was, "there will probably be covert narcissists lurking in the group trying to find new victims, it might not be safe." :(
@Allison Hogan Oh hell yes! In 2007 when trying to research pathological lying and Munchausen, I came across the leading expert at the time (can't recall his name just now, Dr. Mark someone) - but he told the story of a fake victim imposter in a net group, who hid successfully for months, if not more. In the case he was discussing, once the truth emerged, the group had to go through a long process of recovery with a therapist! I wanted to write to him about my own horrible situation, but abandoned the possibility, because of this precise problem of the fake participant. How validate your identity? So - tragically - it can and does happen. Welcome to tipsy-turvy town!
@Allison Hogan I feel your anxiety because I once experienced that but I realize the more you heal , the better you feel because you can easily spot them wherever they show up and you know exactly what to do not to entangle yourself with them. Best of luck in your healing journey. ( I watched a lot of healing videos and read a lot of articles ).
I don’t concentrate on trust but honesty. Trust is an end product like perfection and that is what the mirror image of the narcissist thinks they have. If I trust them then I’m in their game. No, honestly shows their lack of dealing with problems and their overprotection of their false self. Honesty as a virtue helps me get as close to the reality around me without what others are trying to sell when they’re not been honest. The flying monkeys buy it but I’m not. Honesty requires appraisal or self assessment; are you honest with yourself?
Thank you soooooo much 😭😭😭 I'm now 2 years after a narc relationship and I've never experienced what you're describing til the last 2 years. I feel so raw and broken, like a giant undressed wound, and people I once had very little problem with are devastating me with what to anyone else would be insignificant anomalies, but to me they shake me to my core and I experience CPSTD and depression. I'm currently suicidal, and was asking God what's wrong with me. I have virtually no friends left now, and no family to speak of. I'm still in shock over the psychological violence the narcissist subjected me to. Thank you for explaining this so simply. It brings huge understanding. I'm very grateful. 😭
@@smj6375 yes no family is hard, but being rejected or abused by family is worse and I've had that most of my life. I'm okay now, I've come through. Feels like another person wrote the above words, I must've been in one of many hard patches. Thanks for asking.
Thank you Michelle. This is very helpful. Trusting others and myself has been something I’ve struggled with for a long time. I found this very practical and doable. It’s empowering too.
Excellent question - how do they respond to their flaws? Do they own them or deflect? Do they apologize with word and actions or with words alone or not at all? Do they listen and validate your perspective - even if they have a different perspective - do they have empathy? When there are challenges and/or disagreements do they get resolved or do you simply give up trying to get any resolution? Is there give and take in the relationship? Those are just a few ways to determine!
A narcissist is not a good person ..Just asked to explain there lies ,they don't like having to justify there actions and tel u its you who is insecure and has issues not them
Thank you for this video! It was extremely helpful to me and I was able to reach out to those good people and begin to mend with them. I'm so thankful to have watched this and get an entire perspective shift. Much love to you.
Hi, Michelle! I think many people confuse trust with so to say extra friendship... As far as you don t put all your eggs in one nest, you still can trust freely, knowing that even if something happens, you still have eggs... But the trouble is narcissists know this too, reason why many times they want to give you the scary feeling that they are the last lemonade of the dessert... That they are unique, their personality is always screaming this kinds of bombs... So That when you notice something strange about them, or simply when you want to leave them, you feel this pain, as if you were going to be missing something massive, or even important to your life... So they manipulate through their charm your natural ability to come and go, take and leave... I notice this 2 times with ladies selling very good health treatments... Yet I still can leave without them... They would trick me and double trick me, hoovering... Yet, i know now better than that... So, not to let anybody attract your attention so much... That you don t concentrate in the most important person... Yourself!
@@bettyboossister3918 actually i ve done that... Nothing more hilarious than a narcissist trying to push his lines, and you not falling for them... Try someone else... Not me! 😂💪🚮🏃♀️
My Grandmother was a Covert, mother is a Covert Malignant, long time best friend is a Covert who I had incarcerated, & my boss is a Covert Malignant who's destroyed my character & reputation. I'm a single guy, never married, never had a girlfriend, & never will. I don't trust family & have 0 friends. I trust no one.
Interesting video thank you. About that trust, I do not know in myself find that idea - some rule that pushed on me - idea of togetherness that group mentality no matter what. That I should forgive and forget such for example untrustworthy person, again and again. And if I distance myself I’m guilty of braking holy bonds of family, LOVE™, some other lofty ideals. Because in my narc family form childhood do deal with covert narcissists - wolves in sheep closes. They always say that they are good, and what happened just little thing, minimize abuse, deflect shift blame on others, claim that neglect and abuse me just because busy with some great thing bettering whole world, fighting for some rights or fighting evil etc.. I do not know - get stuck somewhere there. And that another rule that am prohibited to cause discomfort to them - by doing my way, separating, putting boundaries, going against their will, acting without their permission. Same with group was contacting if I do not like for example some religious or political groups and want to move on, distance myself, they push same agenda they are best of the best all for people, bet intentions, I must conform to their agenda and if I want distance myself from their group starts baiting that I betray lofty ideals, of building their utopia, and immediately am at danger - for example say they you are now with devil, god and TRUTH™ is on their side. Or same mindset with political movements they all claim that all for all good against all bad, and anyone who question them and is not with them - is I do not know what label, Nazi, bigot, homophobe, do not have love, do not like children, I do not know what else any put any bashing word from a book. And they all see their mission to bully me back in to their group their group is like a family, to comply to their group and be one of them or to punish for a “betrayal”. Something like that.
Found my way here today...recently a friend and roommate of mine, also a victim of narcissistic abuse, turned their vindictive hatred and narcissism onto me and their other former friends. It's very painful seeing this person I loved become the very monster they ran away from that we sheltered them from...and I hate that I still feel sympathy for them even after they hurt me so badly. Assuming they changed their ways and made things right, I could've eventually come to forgive them for the six months of unpaid rent and the constant dramamongering. I cannot forgive lying about sexual assault because trauma response =/= sexual assault. They are literally attempting to involve police (but "ACAB", am I right?) to ruin mine and others' lives. They spend all their time victimizing themselves so much that they don't even see that there's a legitimate reason no one wants to associate with them anymore. It's so sad. I hope they can find the help they need. Because while they've been hurt before, they were (and are) still very capable of causing equal hurt to others if not checked by a professional.
I have my close family members, mom and siblings, plus a few friends that I trust the God in them. As a Christian and an person who knows betrayal I simply don’t trust people. However, if they have that light in them then I can trust that they, like me, can fight to be a honest and good person despite setbacks. This extends to non-Christians as well, that light exists even when people are of a different religion or do not acknowledge it. That said, I am happy that I did not cut off some extremely good people in my life that my spouse tried to extinguish. I was told that I should remain friends but there were so many conditions and consequences of my “behavior” that this modified friendship wouldn’t be a friendship at all. I was kicked out but updated her mother and my sis with the so-called inappropriate behavior (text messages). A female “liked” a message from a group chat about 11pm (message was from earlier) so the phone record means I lied and cheated. After being away for a couple of days I get an apology and am almost begged to return under a different set of stipulations so they won’t explode on me again. She acknowledged that there are things that “trigger” her and she’s like an alcoholic. Also asked if I think she’s bipolar after saying that she isn’t. It’s nuts but I know we both need to be apart although we have a preschooler together. Please pray for us to make wise decisions. Thanks for such a great vid, I am damaged mostly in the scanning thing you mentioned. I keep trying to improve myself and analyze every close relationship I have: especially the two females.
Have you ever heard of zero contact... 🚮🏃♀️... It s not just theory... I know is hard... I should know, yet these people are far from the preschool little girls you knew... They are monsters now... It sounds cruel, yet is the truth... My sister and i went to school together... Today... I don t even know this person anymore... They chose their mess and we can choose also our peace🏃♀️🚮
I find it difficult to do this healing work during this pandemic, tbh. First, I am very wobbly when it comes to self advocacy. Then, in many cases, emotions are running high every where due to financial or other stresses causes by uncertainty. The global situation seems to be almost mirroring my internal one😩
@@FromSurvivingToThriving This is a complicated situation I'm in. But here goes nothing... I'm dealing with a perdicament that I believe could be easily resolved. My father and I have been living with each other on and off and on the same land at least in 2 different locations for most of my 28 years of life. I recently know I've messed up bad and I mean bad. I was going to throw out some trash which involved my piss jugs that I had since I was living in my travel trailer and didn't want to go outside at night to urinate being I had to put all my clothes on belt, walk outside in the poor weather multiple times a night due to health reasons. I also suffer from (not diagnosed yet) CPTSD from trauma related to jail guards and the system. I do at times hide from the world in my travel trailer so this also contributes to the piss jugs as I don't even want to go outside and I don't have water hooked up in my travel trailer yet... Now where it gets bad is my dad actually when I went to take that garbage out I had a few of my piss jugs in the basket where today on the Fourth of July he had to empty them out and then throw them away bring it to the dump and as you can tell already this is really sad. I talked to him today without even really seeing the severity of this until I got to my travel trailer and thought about what i had said. Being that "Oh gary when he was here he'd play these stupid games with you when you were the mouth that feeds" which was my cousin and his nephew that used to try and walk on him when he was being helped by my father. So this obviously looks like a poor attempt to excuse myself by comparison. And also I said that the garbage cans were full that's why I wasn't able to deal with it properly. And he said at least I could've emptied out the piss jugs but instead I left them there. He didn't even seem that angry it just looked like disgust as it should have. Not trying to excuse anything but the most underlying issue within myself that I've noticed is huge trust issues. Something I've been reluctant to fix. I believe that being in jail where they would force me into a restraint chair and I would urinate on myself cause I couldn't get to the hole in the ground (solitary confinement) they would then wreslte me to the floor and strip me of my clothes and then throw towels in there telling me I had to clean up my own urine if I wanted the padded clothes to be warm. That was only a very short explanation of what had all happened but this is what I've been faced with dealing with between being in there with them and the mental health professionals playing mind games with me so damn much. Now I feel as if when my father asks or tells me to do something it's in a controlling type of way and I'm unsure if it really is sometimes. But most of the time I feel like that's what's happening and I read too much into peoples facial expressions thinking they are laughing cause they got away with controlling me in some way. I've grown past a lot of this . but this for me seems to be my biggest... Hurtle in dealing with these easy to do every day things. And to make the situation worse. For some reasons I'm unsure about but he had his friend move in with him and his friends daughter. And now it feels to me like they are making a point to "Look were here in your space haha" by their body language etc. I've had this happen where my dad makes a point to tell me that even though the place is in his name that it's actually mine as soon as we get financially stable and he sells his other property blah blah. But I won't go into that. He tells everyone it's mine, he tells them it's mine. Then his friends or whatever will show up, right in the middle of me and... Him talking and then they'll stare at me and then sit down and he'll just start talking with them even though me and him were just there talking to each other. And I asked "Are we going to finish our conversation or?" He replies "no I'm talking with my friend right now" Of course I don't understand this. I do feel walked on. But I try to see where he's coming from as well I try to reason with all of it, and do my best but simply he's just exhausted at this point and just flat out disapointed. Dealing with all these things makes me wanna retract more and I've talked with him a few times now the best way I coujld without making him feel attacked in any way. Now I almost feel like the people around us now is out of spite for a few days before this all happened with the garbage I got angry with him. Telling him I can't help but to be that way when I feel pushed around Eventually speaking. I bottle it up instead of talking cause I don't know what else to do, then I explode. And this makes him angry probably cause he feels like he does nothing but help me. The whole picture is a little more complicated. So what do I do just suck it up and bend over when he demands I do things, or maybe I can talk to him after this blows over and ask if he could talk to me in a different way that helps me understand that it's ok. But then again that seems selfish even though it's not it's for the both of us. I'm still trying to figure out how to convey myself without him feeling attacked. I think I would need to just do things before he even asks that way this isn't even a possiblity. But I've had instances where people talk about things that happened the night before almost like they were watching me do them. So now I feel taken advantage of even when people might not even really be around. And that prevents me from even doing anything even in my own travel trailer cuz it feels like they are watching me or having me do something. Not sure what I can do to remedy all this and not feel controlled while keeping him happy so he doesn't get up and leave me high and dry and then I'm stuck in an even worse spot
My first relationship after we planned on moving to Florida together and him telling me he loves me he had me drop h off at the airport to go on a vacation and then he ghosted me. Found out later he left me for his ex. Second relationship was a 4 year relationship. He cheated on me and then left me for someone else. My third relationship had huge red flags and he abused me really bad. He denied everything even with hard evidence. This one broke me severely. I found out after he had an entire other girlfriend and years later they are still together. Now I'm in a new relationship and I absolutely love him but I have severe trust issues and it's taking my life away. I'm always suspicious. This is making me feel like I don't want to live
Telling someone that they deserved what came to them because they "did it to themselves" is abusive. There is nothing loving, kind, empathic, etc about it. It's them not taking responsibility for their actions and how their actions affected you. It upsets me that you have have to ask someone else if you deserved to suffer because that tells me that they have been mistreating you for a long time. Please know that I'm not upset with you though. I am glad that your inner self is telling you that what happened to you was wrong and that you didn't not deserve what happened. Do not blame yourself for the bad deeds someone else did to you. Stay strong!
No. No one deserves abuse and no one causes another human being to abuse them. It is the sole responsibility of the abuser themselves. Please be very discerning about what you are being told. Get back in touch with your gut instincts (hard, I know, but keep trying), and listen. Does it make sense that you would do it to yourself, call this to yourself, bring this into your life? No way!
I cannot trust anybody anymore. Incredible. And so sad. Nobody would notice. My child has been destroyed, too. She does not trust anyone either. She might not be able to ever have a healthy relationship. But everybody believes that he is a great father.
I'm finding your wording a bit complicated..can you simplify..I just dumped a covert narc after 15 years of abuse..I'm working on my co dependency..I was hoping this might have been more a list of what type of damaged thoughts and behaviours we have that we need to accept thank them and release them...
is not much being hypervigilant as narc, when I was used to be doormat... to me just feel not deserving be loved faithfully and after such abuse thinking that can live without any sex coz that means protection from any narc in future...
I didn't find this video helpful. My gut is telling me that even the smallest, innocuous signs (e.g., partner screens a call while we are hanging out) are signs of infidelity. Intellectually, I understand this is irrational. But I still don't feel it in my gut. Even when I ask for reassurance from my partner and she patiently provides it, I *still* feel off. After being cheated on in several relationships, my gut tells me that *everyone* cheats, no one can be trusted, etc., etc. I know these things aren't true. It feels like this video is encouraging people to give in to paranoia, rather than providing tools to overcome it. Your "gut" is often wrong. Mine has been many times. I just want to *feel* sane again.
The God of the Bible is the One True Living God. Jesus Christ is the only way to be saved from our sins and reconciled with our holy Creator God. Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me. (John 14:6) For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved. He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God. And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil. For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved. But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God. (John 3:16-21)
I don't even trust my closest friends or my own family. But, I do enjoy taking to total strangers because it's the only time where I can feel stay being my own authentic self without being shamed or criticized.
@ Daniel C Brilliant observation! Exactly - I find it a treat to talk to total strangers: no sweat, no pain, no Machiavellian undercurrents. Thanks for that insight, UA-cam stranger!
@@ninan2670 You're welcome.
I know what you say initially it is fun but you will need closeness after a while eventually
Same
I got to the point where I don't try to hold back from being my authentic self for anyone. Strangers are so easy to talk to like in the grocery store. Truly refreshing and a feel good thing for me!!! Then friends and family are indifferent and our expectations are high. Expectations suck! Guess what, I got judged instead of understood until they watched my actions. Slowly but surely they would inquire about some things and we drew closer. I trust that we're all human so trust isn't going to be perfect anyway. I try to tell myself that it is ok to trust until the red flags appear. I try to keep the mindset that I or them is going to be at a loss if communication isn't thourall enough with an open mind to be able to get outta the box to look at other perspectives until we can really understand. Those are the real people who stay in our lives. Only when actions speak louder or as much as our words.✌️💞
True, I don't trust anyone anymore, in a relationship sense. On the other hand, I've accepted who I am and enjoy being alone now since I don't really need anyone else.
That's so me.
Some people stay in total solitude for years, for spiritual deepening of their knowledge of themselves. KNOW THU SELF SO THU WILL KNOW THE UNIVERSE AND ITS GODS this is the advise toward the neophytes written on the front of the Delphes temple. A true HUMAN should be happy with people and happy without people. Similarly the true honest man is honest with the honest people and also honest with the non-honest people. I spare you the Jesus one. PEACE & LOVE
Same, but I’m learning to choose Safe people. I read a book called safe people. And finding that to some degree we do know who is good and who isn’t. We get ourselves into trouble when we don’t choose carefully. No one ever taught us to be this discerning before and to not simply give the benefit of the doubt.
I made a list of the people in my life that are Safe, neutral, concerning, and Dangerous. I interact with these groups differently, I share less and build trust over time. But I never ignore flags or give trust freely anymore. Take care and choose safe people. Life is better together.
Me…Same✌️
I don't trust anyone anymore and I don't want to. People can't destroy your life if you don't trust them.
They also can't enrich your life if you don't let them.
I’m in the same boat as you, my friend. Except that the boat has a hole in it.
True, but then you never let anyone in your life and then you are alone. It takes time to earn trust but there are trustworthy people in the world...
I'd honestly rather be alone than risk being in another toxic relationship. I have only a small circle of friends and that is more than enough for me. Even if they're unavailable, I like the safety of being alone.
Agreed
When I learned to trust again, it opened doors to so many wonderful people and experiences. I have been so blessed since leaving the narc family members and learning to be myself again. This channel has helped me, among many others.
Those of you who say you can't trust and that you're closing yourself off, you are doing a disservice to yourself. Apply the practices in this video and you'll learn to trust again. Will you NEVER get hurt again? No. But by learning to trust again it really does make life better. Not everyone is out to hurt others.
How did you get the courage to leave your narc family?
My gut feeling constantly says"RUN... RUN..." so that isn't going to help. I fell back to the trusted people from before the narc, didn't trust a single person ever since. And "in the end you'll have no one..." still better than having a narc in your life.
Totally understandable. 100% 🎭... Believers have a personal relationship with Jesus that says we can do all things through Him. Practicing my faith while enduring narcissistic people is truly difficult. I work w the public everyday . We could all be gentler to one another, all of us. Some of us loners who isolate do like to get along and not cause waves- Carefully and from a great distance... People, all person's, will eventually disappoint. The bar doesn't have to be high- people are going through...
It's just so tough. Everyone is traumatized by this pandemic. So much uncertainty and fear from the news. Much division as mental health issues skyrocket.
So, yeah exclusivity to oneself is certainly an effective strategy against narcissists. At least until you heal a little.
Pain sucks the life out of everyone, right? Different strokes for different folks. I'm scared as hell of people myself. Scared as hell 😶
My motto now is trust but verify, but that only happens if the person I am dealing with gives me repeated reasons not to trust them. Thank for the video Michele.
spot on. I lost faith in my own self to the point I was unable to function properly at work. Since my work was testing oil and gas wells offshore, I became dangerous - the only escape became the days ashore in a Bar. The dirinking got a hold of me and then everything collapsed. Glad that ten years hace passed and I am recovering. Coming up for six years and no beers, Eleven years since the disgard. Life is a rollercoaster. Things take time.
Michele, you are the best at explaining this topic.
I agree, she explains things in a way that is very easy to understand.
My first gf was a total narc and cheated on me and lied and blamed me all the time.. i left her and took my time to mourn; started dating months later and got in a relationship with a new girl, i think is was the most wonderful person i know; however she ended up breaking up with me since i was having such a hard time trusting; i really tried and the first time i saw something that she did that triggered my ptsd i told her calmly and she was quite defensive.. made our relationship hell from then on. Even now looking back i cant trust that she was faithful or not; this is hell inside me
oh wow, this video hits so close to home. Thank you for explaining the complex PSTD process and the outcome of deep seated trust issues so accurately and yet also helping us with how to begin the healing process. Two thumbs way up Michele!
So true,do not trust them at all, trust yourself and leave them, remember one thing you deserve better, one everyone are not like this at all thank God, trust yourself heal up, great video Michelle take care of yourself and be blessed everyone.
Youve explained my experience perfectly. Ive pushed people away for years (decades). Only since I found out about cptsd have I realised why and what I was doing. My few good friends have stayed with me (thank goodness)
Im working on it now.. trusting myself more everyday. My narc ex still tries to invalidate everything and anything I say.. but Im moving forward and (secretly) positioning and planing a new healthy life away from him.
No more isolation.... I deserve a happy life 😊
Work though it people, you're worth it! 💗💝💗
Thank you for your help... I really mean that. God bless you...
Annette, hang in there, ok? You've got this. Don't give up. Blessing you 🕯
@@noracharles9366 thank you very much...
Absolutely spot on... My ex did so many things to make me distrust her. Then tried to imply that I'm jealous or paranoid etc. When all along she was the jealous one and I was being gaslight. Ugh, it makes me feel unwell just thinking about it.
Oh no, you poor thing🐈
Yep it’s a very sick game
Same here.
This is so true! I don't know how I can trust unless someone can prove to me that they won't hurt me. It's like when a guy asks me if they like me, in my mind I'm thinking even if I find them attractive, that I don't know them well enough to know if I like them or not and I'm sure that sounds strange if someone hasn't dealt with narcissistic abuse. When you have seen how some people can change behind closed doors, it can take time to build trust and a lot of people don't understand that.
I have major trust issues.. I can’t grasp how “good” people aren’t always good? So I’m hyper-vigilant? But, then I’m mostly right about my worst intuitions, so I’m rarely around “good” people. Where are all of the good people?!
This is the story of my life. Thirteen years ago, I finally went no contact with my toxic mother who hurt me every way she could. As a result, I trust no one. I have been unable form relationships or even date, because I immediately see red flags everywhere. I attract narcissistic people who hurt me. I now just completely avoid any type of closeness. I hold everyone at arms length and I don’t allow anyone to get near me. It’s the only way I feel safe.
Your videos are really helping me, thank you. ❤ been watching a lot lately after being diagnosed with ptsd, and regrettably, I think my partner of 27 years is part of the problem. I keep analysing myself and trying to check in with reality as much as I can.
The gift of the vlog provider is to get you to recognize what is already within. Like a good friend that cares enough to say, hey, I'm seeing something you may not realize yourself. A great analogy, lessen learned here is if trying to trust someone is producing a mental confusion "pain", it is all you need to know, a wake up call of monumental importance.
VERY good 😊. Thank you so much!
True. I have complex PTSD and met this charming narc that just wanted to make me confused. So need to move on but wish I could change her, discover love.
That’s me. I can’t really trust but at least I’ll die. I look forward to that.
The funny thing is it really takes a toll on you after years and years of not being able to trust.
My most sincere agreement. Despise this existence. Want liberty and justice but it won't happen here. Wont be long. Cattle tags almost here.
Yep. Death looks like a welcome gift. Though I am not suicidal.
I trust you
This video resonates with what I experiencing and still experiencing !
Thank you! Nowadays I know I did everything against my right and wrong spirit with the narcissist.
My Rule, U want me to trust u, U need to Earn that Trust. Break my Trust, Feel My Wraith.
thank you for your perspective..
How many men here have chosen to ‘go their own way’ as a consequence of narcissistic abuse? How many are red pilled and too far down the rabbit hole to be considered toxic by others even when they themselves can’t see it? It’s second nature to people with personality disorders and fair bit of charm and smarts to don a mask and pretend to be someone just to charm and ‘bag’ a woman (aka the bad boys and assholes).
Not being authentic is being abusive, and victims of abuse/trauma who feel they still have a shred of humanity left in them would much rather avoid getting into relationships and stay solitary.
I've never met a Stable woman sorry they all kind of give me the im special for no reason vibe ...no one is special.
I have recently dated a woman with trust issues from her past relationships. She suspects in every little actions or words. She pushed me away (rejecting and ignoring me) while continue to observe my actions. It was so damaging. I wanted to be faithful to her but she did not give me a clear intention. I did not know she had trust issue. I got so confused. Did she want me there or away? I offered to wait and work with her but she rejected it. It was exhausting. I know it is hard but no one can help besides yourself to learn to trust.
Love your videos
I suffer from this PRECISELY. Yes I misunderstand small things.
My mother betrayed me over and over as a child so now I’m very closed up to others - nobody really gets close to me
Awesome!! 🤟❣️this resonates so much with my personal recovery journey! 🙌
Hey! The title brought me in, because HELLO! It’s me
Nice hat! 💅👠
Since the narc in my life is covert and always playing the victim - I find it hard to believe anyone that says they're a victim - including myself and other narc abuse survivors! Sometimes on these UA-cam pages I feel suspicious that others leaving comments are actually covert narcissists playing the victim. In my rational brain, I know it is ridiculous, but I think it's an extreme defense mechanism I've developed in order to protect myself. My gut reaction when you mentioned having a new online group starting in November and thinking I might want to join was, "there will probably be covert narcissists lurking in the group trying to find new victims, it might not be safe." :(
@Allison Hogan Oh hell yes! In 2007 when trying to research pathological lying and Munchausen, I came across the leading expert at the time (can't recall his name just now, Dr. Mark someone) - but he told the story of a fake victim imposter in a net group, who hid successfully for months, if not more. In the case he was discussing, once the truth emerged, the group had to go through a long process of recovery with a therapist! I wanted to write to him about my own horrible situation, but abandoned the possibility, because of this precise problem of the fake participant. How validate your identity?
So - tragically - it can and does happen. Welcome to tipsy-turvy town!
@Allison Hogan
I feel your anxiety because I once experienced that but I realize the more you heal , the better you feel because you can easily spot them wherever they show up and you know exactly what to do not to entangle yourself with them.
Best of luck in your healing journey. ( I watched a lot of healing videos and read a lot of articles ).
@@tintina2753 Thank you for the thoughtful comment. Yes - I hope the irrational fears will improve with healing.
@@ninan2670 I believe it! I find myself less and less surprised by these kinds of stories, unfortunately.
Sometimes the emotion isn't from something in the past. It's really from what they did.
You have helped me so much.
Thank you!. This is all so true and resonates with me so deeply. ♥️
Thank you much Michele
Thank you sooo much for this. I helped me soo much. I am taking your homework..
I don’t concentrate on trust but honesty. Trust is an end product like perfection and that is what the mirror image of the narcissist thinks they have. If I trust them then I’m in their game. No, honestly shows their lack of dealing with problems and their overprotection of their false self. Honesty as a virtue helps me get as close to the reality around me without what others are trying to sell when they’re not been honest. The flying monkeys buy it but I’m not. Honesty requires appraisal or self assessment; are you honest with yourself?
you give me massive favors
Thank you soooooo much 😭😭😭
I'm now 2 years after a narc relationship and I've never experienced what you're describing til the last 2 years.
I feel so raw and broken, like a giant undressed wound, and people I once had very little problem with are devastating me with what to anyone else would be insignificant anomalies, but to me they shake me to my core and I experience CPSTD and depression. I'm currently suicidal, and was asking God what's wrong with me. I have virtually no friends left now, and no family to speak of. I'm still in shock over the psychological violence the narcissist subjected me to.
Thank you for explaining this so simply. It brings huge understanding.
I'm very grateful. 😭
Hope you are doing ok
I really feel you. No family makes it hard
Hope your okay
@@RydalS thanks, yes I'm through it all now. It's been a tough lesson or series of lessons, but I can finally look back and be thankful.
@@smj6375 yes no family is hard, but being rejected or abused by family is worse and I've had that most of my life. I'm okay now, I've come through. Feels like another person wrote the above words, I must've been in one of many hard patches.
Thanks for asking.
Thanks Michele. You really understand what we are going through.
Very helpful! Thank you!
Thank you Michelle. This is very helpful. Trusting others and myself has been something I’ve struggled with for a long time. I found this very practical and doable. It’s empowering too.
Thank you! Your videos have been a huge help to me and continue to be. You break down things in a way that is very easy to understand.
Again, I Thank You!!! It’s very hard when One feels this Way Alone.
how do you know the difference between a good person and a narcissist though if they both act flawed in character from time to time?
Look for repeated behavior patterns of npd
Excellent question - how do they respond to their flaws? Do they own them or deflect? Do they apologize with word and actions or with words alone or not at all? Do they listen and validate your perspective - even if they have a different perspective - do they have empathy? When there are challenges and/or disagreements do they get resolved or do you simply give up trying to get any resolution? Is there give and take in the relationship? Those are just a few ways to determine!
A narcissist is not a good person ..Just asked to explain there lies ,they don't like having to justify there actions and tel u its you who is insecure and has issues not them
I love your videos Michele. You’re great at what you do here on UA-cam. Keep them helpful videos coming girl!
I got tired of my boyfriend saying I don't trust because of a past relationship, when in reality its his lies that are the reason I don't trust him.
Thanks great words and very thoughtful as well ☺️
spot on...smh...difficult to hear this, but so necessary and just spot on.
Thank you for this video! It was extremely helpful to me and I was able to reach out to those good people and begin to mend with them. I'm so thankful to have watched this and get an entire perspective shift. Much love to you.
Thank you and Merry Christmas.
That's really a great video. Thank you, Michele!
Hi, Michelle! I think many people confuse trust with so to say extra friendship... As far as you don t put all your eggs in one nest, you still can trust freely, knowing that even if something happens, you still have eggs... But the trouble is narcissists know this too, reason why many times they want to give you the scary feeling that they are the last lemonade of the dessert... That they are unique, their personality is always screaming this kinds of bombs... So That when you notice something strange about them, or simply when you want to leave them, you feel this pain, as if you were going to be missing something massive, or even important to your life... So they manipulate through their charm your natural ability to come and go, take and leave... I notice this 2 times with ladies selling very good health treatments... Yet I still can leave without them... They would trick me and double trick me, hoovering... Yet, i know now better than that... So, not to let anybody attract your attention so much... That you don t concentrate in the most important person... Yourself!
Yes...You are right...But if they say they are the last lemonade of the dessert...You can say I love coca cola...😂🤣😂😅
😅😂😂Granny!
@@bettyboossister3918 actually i ve done that... Nothing more hilarious than a narcissist trying to push his lines, and you not falling for them... Try someone else... Not me! 😂💪🚮🏃♀️
you explained it so well.
My Grandmother was a Covert, mother is a Covert Malignant, long time best friend is a Covert who I had incarcerated, & my boss is a Covert Malignant who's destroyed my character & reputation. I'm a single guy, never married, never had a girlfriend, & never will. I don't trust family & have 0 friends. I trust no one.
This is truth..
Interesting video thank you. About that trust, I do not know in myself find that idea - some rule that pushed on me - idea of togetherness that group mentality no matter what. That I should forgive and forget such for example untrustworthy person, again and again. And if I distance myself I’m guilty of braking holy bonds of family, LOVE™, some other lofty ideals. Because in my narc family form childhood do deal with covert narcissists - wolves in sheep closes. They always say that they are good, and what happened just little thing, minimize abuse, deflect shift blame on others, claim that neglect and abuse me just because busy with some great thing bettering whole world, fighting for some rights or fighting evil etc.. I do not know - get stuck somewhere there. And that another rule that am prohibited to cause discomfort to them - by doing my way, separating, putting boundaries, going against their will, acting without their permission.
Same with group was contacting if I do not like for example some religious or political groups and want to move on, distance myself, they push same agenda they are best of the best all for people, bet intentions, I must conform to their agenda and if I want distance myself from their group starts baiting that I betray lofty ideals, of building their utopia, and immediately am at danger - for example say they you are now with devil, god and TRUTH™ is on their side. Or same mindset with political movements they all claim that all for all good against all bad, and anyone who question them and is not with them - is I do not know what label, Nazi, bigot, homophobe, do not have love, do not like children, I do not know what else any put any bashing word from a book. And they all see their mission to bully me back in to their group their group is like a family, to comply to their group and be one of them or to punish for a “betrayal”. Something like that.
Found my way here today...recently a friend and roommate of mine, also a victim of narcissistic abuse, turned their vindictive hatred and narcissism onto me and their other former friends. It's very painful seeing this person I loved become the very monster they ran away from that we sheltered them from...and I hate that I still feel sympathy for them even after they hurt me so badly. Assuming they changed their ways and made things right, I could've eventually come to forgive them for the six months of unpaid rent and the constant dramamongering. I cannot forgive lying about sexual assault because trauma response =/= sexual assault. They are literally attempting to involve police (but "ACAB", am I right?) to ruin mine and others' lives. They spend all their time victimizing themselves so much that they don't even see that there's a legitimate reason no one wants to associate with them anymore. It's so sad. I hope they can find the help they need. Because while they've been hurt before, they were (and are) still very capable of causing equal hurt to others if not checked by a professional.
The narc gave me confusion & trust issues now they want to make more false allegations & false accusations !
Lifechanging!
I have my close family members, mom and siblings, plus a few friends that I trust the God in them. As a Christian and an person who knows betrayal I simply don’t trust people. However, if they have that light in them then I can trust that they, like me, can fight to be a honest and good person despite setbacks.
This extends to non-Christians as well, that light exists even when people are of a different religion or do not acknowledge it.
That said, I am happy that I did not cut off some extremely good people in my life that my spouse tried to extinguish. I was told that I should remain friends but there were so many conditions and consequences of my “behavior” that this modified friendship wouldn’t be a friendship at all. I was kicked out but updated her mother and my sis with the so-called inappropriate behavior (text messages). A female “liked” a message from a group chat about 11pm (message was from earlier) so the phone record means I lied and cheated.
After being away for a couple of days I get an apology and am almost begged to return under a different set of stipulations so they won’t explode on me again. She acknowledged that there are things that “trigger” her and she’s like an alcoholic. Also asked if I think she’s bipolar after saying that she isn’t. It’s nuts but I know we both need to be apart although we have a preschooler together. Please pray for us to make wise decisions. Thanks for such a great vid, I am damaged mostly in the scanning thing you mentioned. I keep trying to improve myself and analyze every close relationship I have: especially the two females.
Have you ever heard of zero contact... 🚮🏃♀️... It s not just theory... I know is hard... I should know, yet these people are far from the preschool little girls you knew... They are monsters now... It sounds cruel, yet is the truth... My sister and i went to school together... Today... I don t even know this person anymore... They chose their mess and we can choose also our peace🏃♀️🚮
I find it difficult to do this healing work during this pandemic, tbh. First, I am very wobbly when it comes to self advocacy. Then, in many cases, emotions are running high every where due to financial or other stresses causes by uncertainty. The global situation seems to be almost mirroring my internal one😩
I totally get that - I'm sorry!!!!Hang in there!
@@FromSurvivingToThriving This is a complicated situation I'm in. But here goes nothing... I'm dealing with a perdicament that I believe could be easily resolved. My father and I have been living with each other on and off and on the same land at least in 2 different locations for most of my 28 years of life. I recently know I've messed up bad and I mean bad. I was going to throw out some trash which involved my piss jugs that I had since I was living in my travel trailer and didn't want to go outside at night to urinate being I had to put all my clothes on belt, walk outside in the poor weather multiple times a night due to health reasons.
I also suffer from (not diagnosed yet) CPTSD from trauma related to jail guards and the system. I do at times hide from the world in my travel trailer so this also contributes to the piss jugs as I don't even want to go outside and I don't have water hooked up in my travel trailer yet...
Now where it gets bad is my dad actually when I went to take that garbage out I had a few of my piss jugs in the basket where today on the Fourth of July he had to empty them out and then throw them away bring it to the dump and as you can tell already this is really sad.
I talked to him today without even really seeing the severity of this until I got to my travel trailer and thought about what i had said. Being that "Oh gary when he was here he'd play these stupid games with you when you were the mouth that feeds" which was my cousin and his nephew that used to try and walk on him when he was being helped by my father. So this obviously looks like a poor attempt to excuse myself by comparison. And also I said that the garbage cans were full that's why I wasn't able to deal with it properly. And he said at least I could've emptied out the piss jugs but instead I left them there.
He didn't even seem that angry it just looked like disgust as it should have. Not trying to excuse anything but the most underlying issue within myself that I've noticed is huge trust issues. Something I've been reluctant to fix. I believe that being in jail where they would force me into a restraint chair and I would urinate on myself cause I couldn't get to the hole in the ground (solitary confinement) they would then wreslte me to the floor and strip me of my clothes and then throw towels in there telling me I had to clean up my own urine if I wanted the padded clothes to be warm.
That was only a very short explanation of what had all happened but this is what I've been faced with dealing with between being in there with them and the mental health professionals playing mind games with me so damn much. Now I feel as if when my father asks or tells me to do something it's in a controlling type of way and I'm unsure if it really is sometimes. But most of the time I feel like that's what's happening and I read too much into peoples facial expressions thinking they are laughing cause they got away with controlling me in some way. I've grown past a lot of this . but this for me seems to be my biggest...
Hurtle in dealing with these easy to do every day things. And to make the situation worse. For some reasons I'm unsure about but he had his friend move in with him and his friends daughter. And now it feels to me like they are making a point to "Look were here in your space haha" by their body language etc. I've had this happen where my dad makes a point to tell me that even though the place is in his name that it's actually mine as soon as we get financially stable and he sells his other property blah blah. But I won't go into that. He tells everyone it's mine, he tells them it's mine. Then his friends or whatever will show up, right in the middle of me and...
Him talking and then they'll stare at me and then sit down and he'll just start talking with them even though me and him were just there talking to each other. And I asked "Are we going to finish our conversation or?" He replies "no I'm talking with my friend right now"
Of course I don't understand this. I do feel walked on. But I try to see where he's coming from as well I try to reason with all of it, and do my best but simply he's just exhausted at this point and just flat out disapointed. Dealing with all these things makes me wanna retract more and I've talked with him a few times now the best way I coujld without making him feel attacked in any way. Now I almost feel like the people around us now is out of spite for a few days before this all happened with the garbage I got angry with him. Telling him I can't help but to be that way when I feel pushed around Eventually speaking. I bottle it up instead of talking cause I don't know what else to do, then I explode. And this makes him angry probably cause he feels like he does nothing but help me.
The whole picture is a little more complicated. So what do I do just suck it up and bend over when he demands I do things, or maybe I can talk to him after this blows over and ask if he could talk to me in a different way that helps me understand that it's ok. But then again that seems selfish even though it's not it's for the both of us. I'm still trying to figure out how to convey myself without him feeling attacked. I think I would need to just do things before he even asks that way this isn't even a possiblity. But I've had instances where people talk about things that happened the night before almost like they were watching me do them. So now I feel taken advantage of even when people might not even really be around. And that prevents me from even doing anything even in my own travel trailer cuz it feels like they are watching me or having me do something.
Not sure what I can do to remedy all this and not feel controlled while keeping him happy so he doesn't get up and leave me high and dry and then I'm stuck in an even worse spot
My first relationship after we planned on moving to Florida together and him telling me he loves me he had me drop h off at the airport to go on a vacation and then he ghosted me. Found out later he left me for his ex. Second relationship was a 4 year relationship. He cheated on me and then left me for someone else. My third relationship had huge red flags and he abused me really bad. He denied everything even with hard evidence. This one broke me severely. I found out after he had an entire other girlfriend and years later they are still together. Now I'm in a new relationship and I absolutely love him but I have severe trust issues and it's taking my life away. I'm always suspicious. This is making me feel like I don't want to live
So on point 📶
This is me!
This is me...😇💔
Just don't trust because it does SERVE YOU
I'm stuck
Get rid of frenemies and flying monkeys... Remove them even from your wassap... Then you will move... 🚮🏃♀️
I have been being told that I did this to myself. Did I?
Telling someone that they deserved what came to them because they "did it to themselves" is abusive. There is nothing loving, kind, empathic, etc about it. It's them not taking responsibility for their actions and how their actions affected you. It upsets me that you have have to ask someone else if you deserved to suffer because that tells me that they have been mistreating you for a long time. Please know that I'm not upset with you though. I am glad that your inner self is telling you that what happened to you was wrong and that you didn't not deserve what happened. Do not blame yourself for the bad deeds someone else did to you. Stay strong!
No. No one deserves abuse and no one causes another human being to abuse them. It is the sole responsibility of the abuser themselves. Please be very discerning about what you are being told. Get back in touch with your gut instincts (hard, I know, but keep trying), and listen. Does it make sense that you would do it to yourself, call this to yourself, bring this into your life? No way!
Looking extra beautiful in this video 👍
I cannot trust anybody anymore. Incredible. And so sad. Nobody would notice.
My child has been destroyed, too. She does not trust anyone either. She might not be able to ever have a healthy relationship. But everybody believes that he is a great father.
I'm finding your wording a bit complicated..can you simplify..I just dumped a covert narc after 15 years of abuse..I'm working on my co dependency..I was hoping this might have been more a list of what type of damaged thoughts and behaviours we have that we need to accept thank them and release them...
Narcs break your trust so that you cannot trust God, but satan will never win.🌹
FTW!
People- it’s not your fault!
How the hell am I supposed to know who's good or not
while I unable to correct my typos in messages here
oh yeah, when get gasligting explained I catch him making me doubt myself on his sick purpose...
🎯
is not much being hypervigilant as narc, when I was used to be doormat... to me just feel not deserving be loved faithfully and after such abuse thinking that can live without any sex coz that means protection from any narc in future...
I literally have no reason to trust anyone
I didn't find this video helpful. My gut is telling me that even the smallest, innocuous signs (e.g., partner screens a call while we are hanging out) are signs of infidelity. Intellectually, I understand this is irrational. But I still don't feel it in my gut. Even when I ask for reassurance from my partner and she patiently provides it, I *still* feel off.
After being cheated on in several relationships, my gut tells me that *everyone* cheats, no one can be trusted, etc., etc. I know these things aren't true. It feels like this video is encouraging people to give in to paranoia, rather than providing tools to overcome it. Your "gut" is often wrong. Mine has been many times.
I just want to *feel* sane again.
There is law domestic voilence
Amen. 🙏🙌🤣🤔💦
zero trust~ sounds like me! lol fking zero
The God of the Bible is the One True Living God. Jesus Christ is the only way to be saved from our sins and reconciled with our holy Creator God.
Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.
(John 14:6)
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
He that believeth on him is not condemned: but he that believeth not is condemned already, because he hath not believed in the name of the only begotten Son of God.
And this is the condemnation, that light is come into the world, and men loved darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil.
For every one that doeth evil hateth the light, neither cometh to the light, lest his deeds should be reproved.
But he that doeth truth cometh to the light, that his deeds may be made manifest, that they are wrought in God.
(John 3:16-21)
Doesnt help.😂
Do you even know how beautiful you are?
THANKS MICHELLE YOU HAVE DESCRIBED ME TO A T, THIS IS HOW I FEEL AFTER LEAVING MY EX NARC LAST YEAR 😢