5 WAYS THE INFJ BREAKS EGOS WITHOUT EVEN TRYING

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  • Опубліковано 8 сер 2023
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    INFJ Life Coach Lesson: Today's topic: The INFJ's unintentional ego demolition - 5 ways we break egos effortlessly. Every INFJ I've spoken to shares the same perplexing story: "I was just being myself and suddenly people were offended. It's like I shattered their ego with a single glance." It seems that INFJs have a knack for triggering intense reactions in others. So let's dive into the five ways we unwittingly crush egos and ponder whether it's our problem or theirs. How on earth do we handle this fragile situation? Let's find out.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 260

  • @Wenzes
    @Wenzes  11 місяців тому +57

    What are some situations that caused other people to get ‚offended‘ when you were just being yourself?

    • @raft115
      @raft115 11 місяців тому +5

      Wow , even before watching the video we are so joy filled ✨👏

    • @raft115
      @raft115 11 місяців тому +9

      ✨👏 we are not very attached , that is why we have such great joy within us , thank you🎉

    • @michellearthur978
      @michellearthur978 11 місяців тому +18

      I would just simply say I don't care when persons try to insult me... because I truly don't care. this upsets many.

    • @tonidelisa8185
      @tonidelisa8185 11 місяців тому +6

      I changed my name the first marriage. Changed it back during the divorce. Didn’t bother changing it the second time . 🤷🏻‍♀️

    • @raven4090
      @raven4090 11 місяців тому +25

      I've had several experiences in my life where people did things to hurt me very badly. Some have left permanent emotional and physical damage. My mother calls me "unforgiving," and accuses me of "wanting revenge" because I no longer want to have any contact with those people.
      Neither of those things are true. I just don't want to give them opportunities to hurt me further. I don't see anything wrong with that. What she doesn't understand is that I can be no contact with someone without feeling angry at them.

  • @mkthinks7455
    @mkthinks7455 11 місяців тому +220

    I think this also happens because INFJ's can see inconsistencies in other people, and this makes people feel vulnerable in INFJ's presence, so they become defensive without understanding why, and then they find some random fault with the INFJ to attack them so that the threat the INFJ presents is pushed away. Sadly they never have enough insight into themselves to realize what happened and it is easier to just blame the INFJ. The INFJ then ends up confused, because they did not do anything, they were just themselves. And sure you can try not to look at people, but this is also part of INFJ's defense system, to scan people, and it is subconscious. I don't think you even have to say something that makes people aware that you can see them, they can just sense that you do or rather they feel uneasy around you without knowing why.

    • @MeeCee5204
      @MeeCee5204 11 місяців тому +34

      Truth and they try to put you on the defensive to take the focus off of them.

    • @tstanleymk4you
      @tstanleymk4you 11 місяців тому +12

      Spot on!

    • @jessmason2112
      @jessmason2112 11 місяців тому +11

      Impressive evaluation. 💯✌️😎

    • @EugeneOglesby-hx6dx
      @EugeneOglesby-hx6dx 11 місяців тому +4

    • @TyGee777
      @TyGee777 11 місяців тому +5

      Yep!❤

  • @TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd
    @TheWisdomOfTheAges_PsyM_Revd 11 місяців тому +90

    1:14 the INFJ is mentally very strong
    5:04 INFJ's aren't impressed with accolades
    7:28 the INFJ never sees themselves in hierarchies
    10:56 the INFJ can leave and forget
    13:15 INFJs are not very attached

  • @thedude5740
    @thedude5740 11 місяців тому +74

    I have found the best thing for INFJ's to do. Work in silence, work on yourself and stop trying to show other people their faults.
    I have a wife and 5 children. They are not capable of understanding me. Just allow others to learn from their mistakes without interjecting or attempting to save them from themselves...
    No matter how difficult, refrain from saving others...

    • @iyanggo
      @iyanggo 11 місяців тому +11

      Let others deal with their own lives. It is to respect people's own agency. They have a right to experience the consequence of their own actions because this is their lives.

    • @WxtrsXbv93
      @WxtrsXbv93 10 місяців тому +14

      "If you seek to aid everyone that suffers in the galaxy, you will only weaken yourself... and weaken them. It is the internal struggles, when fought and won on their own, that yield the strongest rewards. You stole that struggle from them, cheapened it. If you care for others, then dispense with pity and sacrifice and recognize the value in letting them fight their own battles. And when they triumph, they will be even stronger for the victory."
      - Kreia

    • @thedude5740
      @thedude5740 10 місяців тому +4

      @@WxtrsXbv93 that is beautiful!
      Even though I know this lesson, I still find myself struggling to let go at times. I have decided to focus on self only, others can't/won't/don't understand until the fruit is produced.
      After the fruit is produced, I don't feel so inclined to share, the whole point of growing the fruit for me was to have others on the journey. It is unfortunate that others won't travel the path, they only want the reward. I don't think people appreciate that which comes for free...

    • @anneloving8405
      @anneloving8405 10 місяців тому +8

      Stay away from people is my best advice,I used to think 95percent of people are good 95percent of the time,2023..... Maybe 50percent are good 50 percent of the time,......

    • @nancyhanscom1374
      @nancyhanscom1374 9 місяців тому +5

      Watching someone kill themselves with drugs or being abusive to children in my opinion is not something you can " let them learn". 😢

  • @mister-zen8491
    @mister-zen8491 11 місяців тому +62

    It's easy. I listen to what people say and observe their actions. If they don't line up--WHAM--smack to the ego.

    • @jessmason2112
      @jessmason2112 11 місяців тому

      I drop a metaphoric bomb on them. Boom 💥

  • @loneyhearts
    @loneyhearts 11 місяців тому +65

    I have been challenged all my life. Telling the truth gets me in trouble. People do not believe me, or I let them know the trouble they are setting themselves up for.
    I hate when I do this, but sometimes it needs to be done.

    • @jessmason2112
      @jessmason2112 11 місяців тому +3

      ❤💯✌️😎

    • @correanne5366
      @correanne5366 11 місяців тому +6

      & cool peeps always return to me & say, you were right in what happened when I, they, did such & such. I always forget what i said but they don't...

    • @janiceferguson344
      @janiceferguson344 9 місяців тому +3

      It happens that we get seperated for telling the truth when we can see others headed for trouble. They find out about the consequences and don't want us to know about it.

    • @TARAdubbleyuu
      @TARAdubbleyuu 8 місяців тому +1

      I think INFJs could benefit from seeing life as a poker game in a proper casino poker room.
      The hole cards each player is dealt are for their eyes only...you can't get up and stand behind another player, trying to see their hole cards, commenting on their bets and decisions...it'll get you tossed from the casino. And you might end up in a fight at the table just before being tossed, too lol.
      If you wanna analyze the hand, how and who played it, etc...there are ways of digging into strategies, game theory, the hand you just played or folded and whatnot, but there's a place and time for it, feel me?

  • @kan0762
    @kan0762 11 місяців тому +37

    Honestly I've never come across a channel that explains how an infj behaves in such detail as in this video. Some of these points just make me gasp.. like omg.. that's just how it is..

  • @Dodgerzden
    @Dodgerzden 11 місяців тому +13

    I've had a few people say to me during various occupations, "Do you know who I am?". I would say either, "No. And I don't care", or "Do YOU know who I am?". You could see their facial expressions become so furious to the point they couldn't speak. I've never understood the concept of hierarchies and you can imagine how tough that was while in the military. It's an obvious game to prop up egos.

  • @cpcrn7036
    @cpcrn7036 10 місяців тому +11

    As an infj, I hate drama, and I want to cut the crap, and that's what rubs people the wrong way and often I understand that but I have boundaries.

  • @wilfredosaenz7755
    @wilfredosaenz7755 11 місяців тому +10

    When people mocking me using music even though they are not toxic people I easily detach because mocking or belittle me is a sign of red flag for me, l love people who is not pretender that is the type of people I need to my life!

  • @zaraaijaz6727
    @zaraaijaz6727 11 місяців тому +12

    soml. For someone who gets told they're "intense", people have intense reactions to me simply chilling and them thinking I've found them out lol

  • @krisano1prsn
    @krisano1prsn 11 місяців тому +11

    So true, status means nothing to us. I respect people for their true achievements but I don't put anyone on a pedestal.

    • @tpmash
      @tpmash 10 місяців тому +1

      Yip 😅😮

  • @vickster4474
    @vickster4474 11 місяців тому +10

    character and authenticity is everything, nothing else matters

  • @stillherenow500
    @stillherenow500 11 місяців тому +82

    This is interesting. I worked in health care that required work in small teams. I could never figure out why sometimes people would just attack me out of thin air. I was doing my work, and several times during my career, people who I thought I was working well with would walk up to me and attack me. "You think you are..." It never made any sense. Different perspectives, but I would never do that to someone else. Bosses want to do the bothsiderism thing. Often I would have to leave the job because of the other person's aggression. But you are right. I broke their ego because I was not interested in making them special the way they thought they should be.

    • @stillherenow500
      @stillherenow500 11 місяців тому +6

      I'm retired now and not really spending much time around people like that anymore. But, one of things I hear the most about doing is having a phrase that you say when someone starts screaming at you to put some space in between. The person who screams is trying to dominate you by getting you to react. One phrase I would try is, "Isn't that interesting?". Maybe just leave it at that. The worst co-workers were the ones who did it in front of patients (very unprofessional!). I always thought that since I seemed to attract this stuff that I needed a better way to handle it. Maybe you could try it and let me know how it works.@@sherrie1111

    • @akferren1
      @akferren1 10 місяців тому +11

      I’ve worked in healthcare for 33 years and it’s prob one of the most toxic industries to work in..I was a nurse and a nutritionist for 25 years but I left and started over as a medical coder and now I work solo from home and I’m much happier

    • @stillherenow500
      @stillherenow500 10 місяців тому

      It's too bad we learn to judge each other rather than value each other in our training. So much goes underground and comes out in backstabbing and rage. Then, it is swept under the rug. Glad you found a better career for yourself.@@akferren1

    • @thetruthisoutthere7
      @thetruthisoutthere7 10 місяців тому +6

      As a nurse all you've said is very relatable. The hierarchical workplace is difficult for the INFJ who doesn't play those games. From attempts to belittle, stealing ideas and taking credit for work, talking over people, laziness, cutting corners, dismissing my own 18 years experience in my field each time a new manager comes along and they can't handle the fact I know more.....urgh modern life eh! I'm a lone wolf at work, supporting patients and breaking the ego of fellow colleagues.

    • @stillherenow500
      @stillherenow500 10 місяців тому +3

      Yeah, I wish I'd understood that when I was working. People projected all kinds of things onto me. "You think you're this or that". I was just doing my job! I never thought any of the stuff that I was accused of thinking. When I think of some of the more outrageous things that happened to me, yeah...hindsight...I can think of the right thing to say that would defuse it but, typically, I had no answer because I was "just minding my own business and doing my job". It makes you a convenient scapegoat of office politics, especially for those who are more interested in dominating than being kind or being a good worker.@@thetruthisoutthere7

  • @selena3957
    @selena3957 11 місяців тому +16

    Happened to me yesterday....a work associate told me to calm down when I walked in the room and hadn't even spoke yet... needless to say that didn't go over well for her.....

  • @Mhyreade
    @Mhyreade 11 місяців тому +10

    I can't even count how many time, mostly in work situations, that I do not know my place.

  • @kg_nyc
    @kg_nyc 11 місяців тому +31

    This applies so well to who I am in all the workplaces I've been in. People are often afraid when I move through life not desiring fake affection or seeming like I'm a defined cog in any system. My peers and superiors often look at me with a certain fear/hesitation because I don't play the power struggle game and treat all of my subordinates as my equals. They can feel how I leech power away from them without even trying to. It's such a bizarre thing to even say, but so is the game we play. Lol. Great video!

  • @SylvesterAshcroft88
    @SylvesterAshcroft88 11 місяців тому +46

    This is pretty much something i deal with on a daily basis, either somebody becomes enamoured and adores you, and becomes a friend for life, or just completely stonewalls you, as they don't understand how your mind works, as you're way too much for them. It's like somebody being laser focused on your weaknesses, and breaking you down mentally without even trying, even though you're not barely even scratching the surface, so you slowly build up over time without them even knowing, but then it's still too much for them, so you either have to push them away, or just leave them entirely before it's too late.

  • @user-dd3tf7pv2e
    @user-dd3tf7pv2e 11 місяців тому +5

    Lol, I've never had an ego. I cut ties and move on.. 😮

    • @user-dd3tf7pv2e
      @user-dd3tf7pv2e 9 місяців тому +1

      Dang, my Gee that was months ago. Keep guessing and looking. Shook. I move too fast keep up.

  • @imnedmonton
    @imnedmonton 11 місяців тому +23

    Being the adult in the room can be exhausting sometimes. But that's ok. A strong mind is a good thing. Stay safe.♥

  • @user-oj5bw7sl8p
    @user-oj5bw7sl8p 11 місяців тому +11

    This is all so truth! Personally, I have been sacrificing lots of my own opportunities in order not to hurt some of my relatives & friends. Then I realized, they they had not problems with mindlessly overconsuming my resources (time, money, energy) and hurting me in many different ways. So I stopped socializing with those, who were bad for me. It took some time to get used to this situation, when I had no responsibility for the health & happiness of some adult people, who saw me as "a caregiver by default". But now I feel so good!

  • @DonTrump-sv1si
    @DonTrump-sv1si 11 місяців тому +36

    Ive never really fit in. Ive always got along with people and was even somewhat popular in highschool, but ive always stuck out like a sore thumb. Always trying to be normal, but in the end im seen as different/weird/special. Going over this IFNJ subject and personality type is the first time ive felt understood and part of something.

  • @pattigibson4396
    @pattigibson4396 11 місяців тому +53

    Thank you for this video. I thought that my ability to detach myself from people and things rather easily around me was a fault rather than a feature. It was made more difficult when some of the closest people to me made it seem like there was something wrong with my ability to divorce myself from people or things, especially when they caused me harm. I am slowly coming t accept who I am and to see those things as strengths, rather than deficits.

    • @vickster4474
      @vickster4474 11 місяців тому +10

      I had thoughts that way when I was very young but as I got older I realized it was a strength and learned not to have doubts about whether it made me a good person or not.

  • @Realistic_Altruistic
    @Realistic_Altruistic 11 місяців тому +21

    I didn’t want to change my name when I got married, took me a year and even then I hyphenated it with mine 😂 but I think it was intuitively predicting the divorce before it happened. Once I realized his whole identity was fake I slowly started to detach, but only held on due to traditional beliefs of not divorcing. I have noticed we can over-ride our emotion with logic when it comes down to it, which prevents toxic cycles of trauma and resentment that I see in others. I absolutely LOVE all the gifts of the INFJ!! ❤❤❤

    • @kingsdaughter9849
      @kingsdaughter9849 9 місяців тому +1

      I DESTROYED the narcissists in my life! And I'm a sweet person! Lol They could not handle me the way they could others. So weird...I could just cut right through the bs without emotion. The tricks my 'stalker' used against other women seemed to just bounce right off me and he had to flee!

    • @sickofit5547
      @sickofit5547 9 місяців тому

      Me too. I’m glad I can solve problems but I am no longer helping others at all.

  • @irodirod4679
    @irodirod4679 11 місяців тому +82

    Wenzes is truly a gift, her presentations takes the esoteric, nebulous and vague concepts,feelings and even emotions of the INFJ,and “pins” them down so we can examine them. Thank you!

    • @JacoboDeLobo
      @JacoboDeLobo 11 місяців тому +5

      I agree! Watching her videos the past 6 years has been such a blessing. Life is a lot deeper than I used to believe and it’s cool to have this stuff to look back on so I can get to where I want to be.

    • @earthrooster1969
      @earthrooster1969 11 місяців тому +3

      Thanks for mentioning this! I feel SO proud of her. How she embraces her Superwoman INFJ self and helps us all to deal with our own circumstances as fellow INFJs...

  • @TroyPosey
    @TroyPosey 11 місяців тому +30

    Oh man, where to begin, seems like my whole life has been offensive to some folks… 🤣
    The most obvious way, when people start offensively poking fun at me, and then I clap back with something that just decimates their ego in front of everyone with one sentence, then they get pissed and defensive. 😂
    I hope you’re having an amazing week Wenzes! 🙂🌹❤️👍🏼

    • @marloreidland8821
      @marloreidland8821 11 місяців тому +3

      The clapback that decimates them is from our ability to see right through their insecurities and zero in on their weaknesses!

    • @TroyPosey
      @TroyPosey 11 місяців тому +4

      @@marloreidland8821 Yep…And they never see it coming.

  • @raft115
    @raft115 11 місяців тому +27

    ✨👏 we are not very attached , that is why we have such great joy within us , thank you🎉

  • @jomar2563
    @jomar2563 11 місяців тому +17

    Pls make a video on how to deal with our own ego when others treat us unjustly

  • @sandracandelaria0317
    @sandracandelaria0317 11 місяців тому +5

    I don’t feel attached to friendships, when it comes to love and relationships though that’s a whole different level for me.

  • @ranc1977
    @ranc1977 11 місяців тому +5

    "Very often we break egos because we try to make the other person feel better. We say, oh okay, I'm going to pretend like I'm weaker than I actually am. So you don't feel so weak in my presence. Or if I was my full-blown self and wasn't dimming my light. But as some point your true nature always comes out. And once you do that, the other person recognize you done this because you thought they were weaker. That breaks ego in a heartbeat.
    "
    This is oh so true.
    And it is important to recognize what it happening- otherwise we might internalize false explanation that something is wrong with us.
    What appears to third party as weakness and shyness and immobility and being awkward, actually
    I want to spare other people from pain, anxiety, panic that I feel - so I try not to engage in conflict.
    Then people interpret this as I am stupid, weak, passive and treat me accordingly- until I speak up and then it shocks them, always.
    It is like realizing we need to put a price on our people pleasing and fawning and the price is The respect - the same one we give to the others in the first place.
    I've heard so much ableist descriptions when I researched this topic - that other people are strong and that they can handle worries and demands and tasks and narcissistic abuse and mobbing and bullying - but they don't. Most people cannot handle it, it all.
    I had a case where I warned my boderline colleague that the person in question was severely mentally ill - only to be brushed off as my over-sensitivity. It resulted in her losing her baby due to stress. She told me that she handled every kind of abuse and can fend for herself, and that I am simply too weak and sensitive, while she is strong and competent to handle everyone.
    People can't handle the truth. They think they can, but they can't, they don't have mental capacity to process real life without resorting to violence, self sabotage, developing illness and dysfunctional coping mechanisms. It is crucial to recognize that most people are talkers and takers , and they boast a lot, but do not have mental capacity, true strength which they advertise about themselves around.
    While most people go through life enjoying themselves , indulging in food and parties and nonsense - we actually spend each day in analyzing, that is how our brain is working, we are much ahead of other people, no matter how much they will claim that we are simply neurotic and oversensitive and weak and sissy or whatever label they quickly stuck/stick on our foreheads.
    "It's not on you to make the other person feel better about themselves by making yourself small. You are everything that you are, and that includes being mentally strong."
    I've learned that this process of making oneself small in order to make other person feel better is called Negative Politeness - and it appears as being pushover to the third parties. Then if we are not aware of what is going on, we might start to believe their labels, stigma and diagnosis and carry and self fulfill their wrong and unfair descriptions based on their quick bias and incorrect assessments.
    I think this is similar to physical fights. It is often the man who is ashamed for being peaceful and not engaging in brawls - where being physically aggressive is perceived in our toxic society as being macho and "alpha". And if we do not engage in this cult of toxic masculinity - we will be labelled as sissy. I do not want to hurt someone even though they deserve it - I do not want to carry guilt and blame if I harm them to the point the become invalids or worse - just because of some insignificant brawl and their hormones and ego running. I see what might happen if things get carried out of hand - and most people do not see that much far ahead. Most people are shortsighted and cannot grasp all black swan events that might happen.
    Accolades part also resonate with me. I really see all people on par and I do not see hierarchy as basis to make decision how will I treat someone.

  • @raft115
    @raft115 11 місяців тому +5

    To be alone for long is so tough

    • @zoraidacastro2703
      @zoraidacastro2703 11 місяців тому +3

      I enjoy my isolation and it's for my mental health

    • @raft115
      @raft115 11 місяців тому

      @@zoraidacastro2703 the word epic really touches me ,gives me a energy to rise up to challenges

    • @tpmash
      @tpmash 10 місяців тому +1

      It gets easier with time, long time

    • @raft115
      @raft115 10 місяців тому

      @@tpmash thank you ✨

  • @karencrawford5491
    @karencrawford5491 9 місяців тому +4

    I always told my children. "I stand for "What" is right and not "who" is right.
    Thank you for this channel. It's spot on and you address the problems I face all the time.

    • @jjyay2077
      @jjyay2077 6 місяців тому

      i agree with this but its good to make exceptions if the situations call for it once in a blue moon

  • @andydufresnejr
    @andydufresnejr 11 місяців тому +14

    I explained to someone thats how I operate and she said you're not supposed to or you don't have to call people out on it everytime you sense BS. I said if they can't take that then I don't need them in my life. Still I have second thoughts on how to navigate through life, particularly in business because I'm sure even if it may not be an INFJ thing, I sense I've been in my own way and my career has suffered in return

  • @semaisoshul
    @semaisoshul 11 місяців тому +17

    A friend of mine literally called me an “ego slayer,” the other day, lol! I usually take on this role when I simply disagree. When I have a differing opinion on a situation, for some reason, so called ‘friends,’ hey very offended and the relationship ends. I just recently did the infamous for slam on a potential partner because his narcissistic traits were quite overwhelming.
    I have just learned to be unapologetically me and have lived long enough to see the consequences of doing such, and don’t care. But I’m grateful for those relationships that have withstood the test of time and evolution.

  • @HeliNoir
    @HeliNoir 11 місяців тому +36

    Sometimes, just being unfazed and being empathetic toward someone can break a person's ego.
    I have a friend who confessed she was intimidated by me even though she did say I'm nothing but nice and kind to her all these years. We're still good friends but because she was intimidated by how much I knew what she was keeping to herself without her ever telling me has somehow made that for us to be not as close as before.
    Some people just don't want parts of themselves to be "seen" and it's understandably uncomfortable when you know they know that you're reading them like an open book without even saying a word and I respect that.

  • @raft115
    @raft115 11 місяців тому +5

    True infj gets better and better in everything

  • @ThefiveElements29
    @ThefiveElements29 11 місяців тому +9

    😊🎉nice work!. Your eyes are so pretty

    • @raft115
      @raft115 11 місяців тому +2

      True infj gets better and better in everything you see✨🎉

  • @lindateuling7862
    @lindateuling7862 11 місяців тому +17

    This explained a lot of my childhood. And it also made me understand better why sometimes people saw me as a threat when I had no idea I was doing anything upsetting. Our way of feeling confident in ourselves is different from most, and this video accurately spelled it out.
    I had to smile at #3 when you said that we don't "see ourseles in hierarchies." I always acted as if I were "in a class by myself," and it had nothing to do with superiority, inferiority, or even being "cool." It had more to do with being myself. I almost needed to be taught what hierarchies were.
    It also described my family inside and out. My parents were courteous and respectful to everybody they met, but they didn't pay much attention to stratification, either. So maybe it was in the genes, even though neither of them were INFJs.
    Wenzes, when it comes to describing the INFJ experience and how to embrace it and make it work for us, you're the best!

  • @kingsdaughter9849
    @kingsdaughter9849 9 місяців тому +1

    Wow. Was given a personality test in college and didnt think much about the INFJ assessment...until now. Struggled to be 'normal'...(sigh). Now I understand why folks act differently with me. I try so hard to put them at ease but it never works for long. I know I'll never fully fit-in and Im ok with that. In fact I noticed the less I pay attention to what others are doing and saying, the further ahead Im able to get. A blessing AND a curse. Its like when I come into a room...the crowd parts and looks of confusion come on their faces...

  • @EugeneOglesby-hx6dx
    @EugeneOglesby-hx6dx 11 місяців тому +8

    We know better we learn from experiences ❤

  • @theinfjgoyim5508
    @theinfjgoyim5508 11 місяців тому +14

    It is called consciousness. Cannabis/psychedelic users can do similar things. Our consciousness is higher than others and when you meet someone with higher level you feel exposed. Our stack naturally learns. The more honest and less you try to impress the more it impacts. You just have to do it a zen type way. People get their feelings hurt if anything is direct.

    • @MylezNevison
      @MylezNevison 11 місяців тому +4

      I like that we came to the same realisation 😁. Sadly, most of the world is unconscious and living in their ego 98% of their lifetime...

  • @silvixlite
    @silvixlite 11 місяців тому +6

    Recently I just wanna start hanging out with a group of friends . Initially everything was OK... Until... One day suddenly those friends start ghosting me in literally every social event and social media
    After that we had a discussion and they tell me that my attitude while hanging out seems too forced... Too unnatural when I was just myself...

    • @Teresa-hw5fg
      @Teresa-hw5fg 11 місяців тому +3

      That's really horrible, so sorry that you had to experience that! I've had similar reactions. I really am genuinely empathic and authentic, yet I have been accused of being fake or having an agenda. I believe this is projection. When people accuse you, it's really a confession of their own behavior (quoting dr. C from Surviving Narcissism). Hope you find some real friends who can appreciate you being you ❤

  • @craigbarrett2278
    @craigbarrett2278 11 місяців тому +5

    Like Alanis Morissette said....'that don't impress me much'....😅

    • @annae9013
      @annae9013 11 місяців тому +4

      Shania Twain 😅

    • @craigbarrett2278
      @craigbarrett2278 11 місяців тому +2

      @annae9013 yeah that....like captain Haddock said in Tintan...'my memory isn't what it used to be.'
      'What did it used to be?' Tintan....
      Captain Haddock, 'I can't remember!'
      🤣🤣

    • @zoraidacastro2703
      @zoraidacastro2703 11 місяців тому

      Lol

  • @wonkygustav4457
    @wonkygustav4457 6 місяців тому +1

    Infj really does have so many strengths that so many haven’t developed in themselves.

  • @elizatrent2461
    @elizatrent2461 9 місяців тому +1

    That fascinating feeling when someone who does not know you describes you perfectly 😮.

  • @cherylclough1804
    @cherylclough1804 11 місяців тому +4

    ~9.10 so basically INFJs are grownups and know who and what they are.

  • @burcu4711
    @burcu4711 11 місяців тому +5

    As an infj, thanks for advices👍

    • @raft115
      @raft115 11 місяців тому +2

      It is just what all of us need to propel ourselves like eagles to fly high above

  • @jessmason2112
    @jessmason2112 11 місяців тому +5

    ❤️💯✌️😎 their psycological problems are not my problem.

    • @zoraidacastro2703
      @zoraidacastro2703 11 місяців тому

      🎯🎯🎯🎯♥️❤️

    • @jessmason2112
      @jessmason2112 11 місяців тому

      @@zoraidacastro2703 It's an unfortunate truth. I've tried to help others yet they seem stuck in delusional ways of thinking. Like not taking responsibility for one's self and or actions by doing the right thing. So naturally I'm the bad guy for pointing towards the truth.

  • @jerrimenard3092
    @jerrimenard3092 11 місяців тому +6

    Marilyn Manson is a perfect example. He sees right through people and calls out the hypocrisy. Songs like "The beautiful people", " Dope Show" and the album Antichrist Superstar just display INFJ 100%,

  • @earthrooster1969
    @earthrooster1969 11 місяців тому +4

    So many times I was SO confused and felt misunderstood when people felt threatened or offended by what I said or perhaps my actions! Thanks for covering this...❤
    It's SO true that I missed to see Hierarchy! My own family is all about Hierarchy, especially my Mom. Now i understand why she was always mad at me. Same thing happened in my work environment. I always looked out for a person for who they are and in hindsight, it did not bode well with the others!!😅

  • @EugeneOglesby-hx6dx
    @EugeneOglesby-hx6dx 11 місяців тому +5

    Thank you for your information it’s help me a lot

  • @Mari-ui7gc
    @Mari-ui7gc 11 місяців тому +10

    Thank You! These videos are reallly helping me. I used to be sooo confused and this makes things make so much snese to me.

  • @Reagvnelectric
    @Reagvnelectric 11 місяців тому +3

    It’s so hard to date I always make men mad and I don’t even understand half of the time all I’m doing is just responding or half of the time apparently I’m getting tested without realizing about “proving loyalty” but I just detach and go on about my life. I’ve never been in a relationship but it’s very exhausting when no one communicates and I come across as “masculine” for not trying to play games lol

    • @Reagvnelectric
      @Reagvnelectric 11 місяців тому +1

      Also the part about changing your opinion on things so you come across as being fake!!! Some days different circumstances happen which can change how you feel about something I’m not meaning to come across that way 😭

    • @1594simonsays
      @1594simonsays 10 місяців тому

      well i am also an infj and if youd like to chat im available. worth a shot lol its rough out here

  • @davidrider3765
    @davidrider3765 11 місяців тому +1

    The military is the ultimate, “hierarchy game” and was not for me as an INFJ.

  • @justcruisina1ong
    @justcruisina1ong 11 місяців тому +3

    This vid is crazy accurate. Although, as an INFJ, I gotta say I do have attachments and find it hard to let go when it's animal friendships and animal family members. But there's never any animosity in the partings with those.

  • @jessicachateau2565
    @jessicachateau2565 10 місяців тому +1

    Hurting their egos is their problem

  • @sandraburgess9576
    @sandraburgess9576 10 місяців тому +1

    Thanks for helping me realize that I am mentally strong after all. Past bullys got so frustrateð at me, said, " you make me so mad, No matter what i do to you, you always bounce back"! One even groweled at me. I had to be nice to them, because it hurt me so bad to hurt their fragile feelings.

  • @heatherlaine3082
    @heatherlaine3082 8 місяців тому

    Usually it’s something I said that’s funny but devastating. It just slips out too. I don’t even know it lands like it did until other people start laughing.🤦🏻‍♀️

  • @tallgirlmodel
    @tallgirlmodel 11 місяців тому +10

    Listening to you, I feel like your understanding the thoughts I think as opposed to listening to some other infj videos where they seem to just describe my outer appearance but they are guess about the reason I appear this way.
    Sorry to be wordy, basically I’m saying you are so authentic and I appreciate you sharing

  • @Capernaum-zm2tz
    @Capernaum-zm2tz 11 місяців тому +4

    ❤❤ Very acurate thank u Wenzy for speaking truth about us infj God bless

  • @Sam_ytube
    @Sam_ytube 11 місяців тому +4

    Wenzes. Just to keep you going. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!!!!!! haha any doubt i've ever had about you have turned out wrong. When will you get the nobel prize?

  • @velocitor3792
    @velocitor3792 11 місяців тому +4

    Thank you for that last one. I don't feel attached, and I sometimes wonder if there's something wrong with me. It seems like there is a social expectation to be much more attached to some things (job, friends) but it's not really a legitimate MORAL issue.

  • @zoraidacastro2703
    @zoraidacastro2703 11 місяців тому +3

    Cut off .... INFJ Doorslam. Its vicious but its a must for the sake of our mental health. I don't get attached to any material items but I do get attached to my pets; people, it depends.

  • @JJShalashaska
    @JJShalashaska 9 місяців тому +1

    I agree especially with point 4. Not so much with point 5, I mean, I'm attached to very few things, but the few that matter to me I do my best to keep them. Of course I don't care of many other things and I let go when wrong things get too far even if those things were important. Sadly...I have a great adaptation threshold to bad things.
    Anyway, about point 4, one year ago I discovered that two friends I loved so much, admired and respected and knew since 18 and 12 years were completely different people from what I thought.
    Because the first one (that I knew since 18 years) married without telling me ANYTHING for god knows what reason, and the second one proved to be a narcissist manipulator who never really cared about me but only about that love supply I could grant her.
    Now they know that I know about their true identity and are doing their best to get me back...but sadly I can't manage to care of them anymore not even if I want

  • @torhildsagenghansen6074
    @torhildsagenghansen6074 8 місяців тому

    I had a neighbor lady back in the day. In fact, she eventually started to hate me, because I didn't look up to her. She was used to being looked up to. It never touched my mind, that I should look up to her. I appreciated things she was good at, but that was it. She had her pride in her achievements, in housekeeping, Japanese art embroidering, her kids, and so on. I accepted her for what she accomplished, but I never looked up to her the way she wanted. I didn't even understand that she expected me to. I have seen this as an afterthought, after several years. She still doesn't like me, I met her on the plane to the Canary islands a few years ago, and that stiff smile told me all I needed to know. We exchanged polite small talk, and I think we were both happy not having to spend time together. I don't hate her, though she really tried to play me some ugly tricks when we were neighbors.

  • @velcrodreams178
    @velcrodreams178 11 місяців тому +2

    I gotta say your pretty spot on!😍

  • @jerome6572
    @jerome6572 11 місяців тому +5

    Wenze's I like this and explanations.Wenze's I thank you.Wenze's your guidance is crucial.Jerome❤❤❤

  • @jbilotta
    @jbilotta 9 місяців тому +1

    Good luck lawyers, doctors and engineers who make a lot of money and think they are better just to be leveled off by an INFJ. - INFJ here who just experienced this very thing

  • @slclick76
    @slclick76 11 місяців тому

    Spot on!!

  • @chocapic6802
    @chocapic6802 11 місяців тому +4

    Merci pour cette vidéo, une fenêtre de compréhension s'ouvre une fois de plus a ces informations.
    Le sentiment que je ressens le plus au travers de cette analyse est que je n'ai jamais ressenti d'attachement particulier a ma terre natale... Je me sentais bien partout...or si tout le monde partageait cette vision des choses peut être que certains conflits ou guerre ou tensions de" propriété" aurait pu être évitées..
    Mais bien sûr ce sentiment est personnel et subjectif☺️.

  • @carolynclitheroe3588
    @carolynclitheroe3588 8 місяців тому

    INFJ here. So many times in my life people thought I didn’t notice the games they were playing so they went further and further and then they realise I have seen the BS and it’s like they fall i to a hole of their own making. It’s confusing because it all just seems to be them doing it to themselves while I stand by and wonder what I could have done differently. These days I call things out as quickly as possible.

  • @Had-lu3nf
    @Had-lu3nf 5 місяців тому

    I love this

  • @jean-francoisgagnon680
    @jean-francoisgagnon680 11 місяців тому +3

    Tank you Wenzy, i 'm a infj enneagramme 9 51 year. you help meé

  • @shariworden3212
    @shariworden3212 9 місяців тому +1

    The more of these videos I watch, the more I feel like my incredibly isolated life is just good common sense! 😂 I have my mother to understand me. It's fine that my husband and kids don't understand me. I literally have and need no one else. 😅 The upside is, I never get into these kinds of social "scrapes"!

  • @tonikalevi
    @tonikalevi 10 місяців тому

    Great vid!❤

  • @guillaumecharles6727
    @guillaumecharles6727 5 місяців тому

    Thank you ! Very useful

  • @amberv4223
    @amberv4223 10 місяців тому

    All so accurate

  • @jennifercatherinekarel8925
    @jennifercatherinekarel8925 10 місяців тому +1

    Helpful video!

  • @clara3492
    @clara3492 11 місяців тому +1

    Oh man, the first point hits close. I remember in school I used to downplay my intelligence a lot, to the point where I would agree with obviously wrong statements just not to hurt their feelings. All of this to fit in. Even so, in the end I always had higher marks than my peers. I never boasted about it but I'd still hear people comment on how much of a show-off I am. 😂

  • @mikecrow565
    @mikecrow565 11 місяців тому +3

    Timely! And spot on.

  • @sayusayme7729
    @sayusayme7729 9 місяців тому

    Thank you, love your work. 💚

  • @iconicintuitive
    @iconicintuitive 10 місяців тому +1

    This is SOOO exact! Very well said and well done! Thank you so much

  • @Susette0302
    @Susette0302 9 місяців тому

    That was one of the best comments I’ve ever heard about us that we simulate new information and it really does change the way we feel and I’ve never heard anybody else say that but you know with me it’s like a switch it’s crazy

  • @dferg6339
    @dferg6339 11 місяців тому +2

    This is amazing

  • @marmitenot.
    @marmitenot. 10 місяців тому

    All of this is so on point. I was glad to see the last point about not getting attached, and yes, I always felt like something was wrong with me. Glad I found this channel!

  • @LOVE_ALL_AROUND
    @LOVE_ALL_AROUND 3 місяці тому

    I work with physicians doing medical sales. Never have I put them on any pedestal. Conversely, I don't look down on others either.

  • @MrGadfly772
    @MrGadfly772 8 місяців тому

    It's amazing to me just how many of these videos you provide seem like you're talking directly to my reality.

  • @wendy3992
    @wendy3992 10 місяців тому +1

    Thank you❤ I don't feel alone anymore.

  • @JearlBlack-vd3lv
    @JearlBlack-vd3lv 10 місяців тому

    Thank you for all your time you give for these videos, they help more than you will probably ever believe....so very much, thank you.

  • @roberttrough6439
    @roberttrough6439 8 місяців тому

    Hahaha 🤣 plant manager called me in his office. He said blah blah blah blah blah. So what do you think. “ I said I’ve seen many plant managers come and go. I don’t think your going to last a month “. I left his office and didn’t think anymore about it two weeks later his office was empty. Wow this is interesting knowing things about my own life.

  • @cookhousehero
    @cookhousehero 11 місяців тому +2

    Best one so far ... Thx!!

  • @pinkpeonyy
    @pinkpeonyy 11 місяців тому +3

    Thank you so much

  • @henryhandel
    @henryhandel 6 місяців тому

    Truth! In particular for me the hierarchy. I never understood stood it. I've briefly at times fell into that system, but always very quickly self-corrected. I always felt best just living my life without regard to meausring myself against others and I always wanted the same for others. Just go after what fits you, who cares how it measures up against others.

  • @briettasonlen1208
    @briettasonlen1208 11 місяців тому +6

    Another spot-on video. Thanks, Wenzes!

  • @sherimc4869
    @sherimc4869 11 місяців тому +8

    🎯🎯🎯🎯💥

    • @raft115
      @raft115 11 місяців тому +1

      ✨👏🎉true indeed

  • @just-sayin67
    @just-sayin67 8 місяців тому

    We know we can take it so we try to make it easier on others - so true!

  • @user-rc2xs5ti2w
    @user-rc2xs5ti2w 8 місяців тому

    I experience these things once in a while.

  • @GroovyDean
    @GroovyDean 11 місяців тому +2

    Kudos for this video. ❤ Love it. I can never put it to words like you did but what you said is on point on all of the things I said and do all the time. Especially the a, b, C and the new d about a person. Thank you for explaining it to us Infj.

  • @MrArtod
    @MrArtod 11 місяців тому +4

    I've been trying to figure this out for a long time)) thx!

  • @corinebodytherapy
    @corinebodytherapy 8 місяців тому

    Very true, i can relate. We see through so much naturally yet we don’t impose. We’re comfortable with ourselves for the most part and trust in our own intuition and introspective thoughts. We see no one as competition, I think we’re pretty cool people that have good intention for all and like to bring harmony & positive encouragement & elevation if needed/wanted.
    A vast amount of quiet inner strength & resilience and just like to live with peace, good vibes, no drama and definitely not a follower of the crowd or people of position.
    We’re our own crowd, we observe & feel continually and learn along the way about ourselves and everything we can without trying hard, it’s enjoyed and of interest.
    Yes we can close doors and move on easier than most too when pushed to far, yet we’re loyal to the bone if authenticity & mutual respect is there.