I think that “Me Before You” should be viewed as just a story about a man suffering from a disability and who wasn’t able to cope with it, but was able to make a mark on his caretaker’s life, who in turn, changed him a little bit(obviously, not enough to stop him from giving up). I see it as a story about two people that remain forever bonded, like Will says at the end: “You are scored on my heart, Clarke”. It’s not a lesson on how people with disability should be seen in general, it’s a particular case with particular people.
I never realized how offensive this story was. I thought the ending sent a terrible message, but I didn't know it was so offensive all the way through the book.
Meskarune I never read the book but the movie made it to be about the guy being unable to coop with his new situation. Now I must read the book because I want to make my opinion about it.
Well, to some people it is. Especially very active people that used to be into sports. To say that no disabled people are depressed is unrealistic. I think you maybe look to much into it as the character of Will representing the whole disabled community instead of a singular, personal case. The book just tells a story, it's not a role model to follow.
I think y'all are missing the point of the book. It's not saying oh being handicapped isn't worth being alive for. In the book the character struggled to be happy with life, after the accident. Depression is normal after going from "normal"(lack of better word) to being a quadriplegic. In the book he wanted to die, but his family was selfish and kept him alive. He wanted to go to a center where they medicate your death assisted suicide. Not everyone is happy nor wants to live through a traumatic experience. You have to be really ignorant to only see it from one angle. In the book the girl tried to find websites to help from others who were in his place and know how it is. Seriously not everyone is going to be rainbows and sunshine and accept what's happened. It okay to not be okay. Some people are thankful to be alive, but others can't take it. In a fairy tale life when I read the book I was disappointed that while he found a new love he still went with assisted suicide. After a while I realized he did it because he felt like he couldn't deal with it, it was his decision. In the story he said he knew some people are still happy, but he wasn't. To me it didn't glorify or tell people if you were to become handicapped to commit suicide. It just showed life, which in life people won't always agree with everything a person chooses. The dude couldn't get over his past life, and accept being a quadriplegic. let's face it could you honestly be mad at someone for not being happy? As I said not everyone wants or gets used to the new lifestyle.
Fantastic hearing a disabled person's perspective on this story as I myself am not disabled. It's very eye opening listening to you discuss the language used. When you said "It was made by the non disabled for the non disabled and caters to the non disableds' biggest fears about life with a disability" made me go holy shit. Like, you're so right!! I never woild have thought about it that way. It's a shame disabilities are so normal yet aren't at all normalized in our society. Props to you my man for this video!!
I'm a paraplegic and noticed a lot of inconsistencies. In my own opinion I was so grateful they actually showed and expressed that people with disabilities can be really depressed by their situation. I appreciated that they brought up autonomic dysreflexia, something many of my friends are still trying to wrap their head around. I think everyone with a disability will have their own opinion of what the book and or movie expressed. I wasn't offended by it but can agree it wasn't a good idea to portray the lead character's life as how all disabled people's lives and attitudes will be. Like you said, there needs to be a film that comes out that follows an actual person's story who uses a wheelchair vs that of a fictional story so the public can get another perspective.
Well, Shit! That was eye opening. This video was tactful, informative and witty. I love that you challenge viewers to take closer look at missconceptions portrayed in "Me Before You." and in mainstream media. Way to go! I'll be sure to give this video a share so you can continue breaking down stereotypes by spreading knowledge and awareness.
As a non disabled person I hated 'me before you' the minute I read the review online. It's strips Disabled people of their dignity and tells them to just go die instead of being brave and living life to the full. This mentality is dangerous and needs to be put an end to. Your video is so great and so inspiring to me! You articulate it so well and you being disabled yourself helps show it to and even further point. Thank you so much for what you do and for these videos online! You seem like such an amazing person! You have no idea how much I am inspired! I can't wait for more videos!
The book brings in other disabled characters' perspectives. Those disabled characters range from "It's a sh*tty situation, but I've managed to deal with it" to "If he really wants to die, you should let him" to "How can you say something like this, his life is still worth living!" I think the film and book shouldn't approach Will from an ideological standpoint, but from an individual one. Will's entire life was about being active. He went from that to being bedridden and dependant on others in less than a day, so he became depressed. Depression kills.
Try modifying the Bechtel test to disabled people: - a disabled person - talks to another disabled person - about something, ANYTHING, other than an abled person. It's eye-opening to look at media that way. Then do it for queer characters, black characters, trans characters, native characters, etc...
I enjoyed the book but had no idea how offensive it was to those with these injuries. There's a lack of education for those of us who don't live with quadriplegia. To the best of anyone's knowledge, is there anything out there that's better researched? I'd love to read/watch it if so!
There's a more recent French movie by Grand Corps Malade called "Patients" which I found great, but the character in that is only temporarily tetraplegic, thanks to re-ed he can more or less walk again in the end.
After finishing this book in one day, (I read it without knowing the controversy or the plot) I NEEDED THIS VIDEO! I am so horrified by this book, I feel that I can’t go to sleep tonight without hearing all the logical arguments against it. SUCH a horrific message: the end left me stunned and disturbed. Thank you for sharing your perspective! What a relief to watch this video! 😊
Unfortunately I went to see Me Before You (because my friends wanted to see it) before I saw your video. What's worse is I think I was the only one in my group who left the movie asking a lot of questions you answered. Thank you for sharing. P.S. Aside from your insight you have great comic timing.
Wow, you're really charismatic! When I see video of someone new I don't know I usually don't watch the whole thing, but your conversation with yourself was so interesting, that I watched it all. Cool video, man!
Thank you so much for this review! I am an able bodied person and a book reviewer here on UA-cam and I attempted to discuss the ableism of Me Before You in my review of it a couple of months ago. I searched and searched for reviews by people with disability where I could learn more about the representation in the book and back then I was only able to find two reviews aimed at the movie. I am so glad to see that the hashtag #mebeforeableism is now a thing, and to see more people speaking up about this book and movie. There were some aspects of the book that really connected with me (in the character of Louisa and her circumstances), but the portrayal of Will being just a prop to her life and her life being the one that deserved being "bettered" so infuriated me! I saw this without it being pointed out to me and have been quite alarmed that the majority of the book community hasn't seemed to. We all have different perspectives going into books, I don't mean to call anyone out for liking it, but I would love if more people examined it critically beyond just it being a "tearjerker." I really appreciate this review and how informative you were on the book's flawed terminology, as I am still learning how to accurately talk about this book. I would love to share your video, and even link to it in the description of mine for people to have more information, if that would be ok?
James McMureter, I can't tell if you are responding to something you think I said or just chiming in to the conversation with another point (great conversation).
You are a fantastic reviewer. This was so well spoken, informative, cited specific examples from the book, used a creative format, and the editing is great. I hope we'll see more from you. :)
I am really glad to hear that people who actually have C5/6 don't live the kind of life described in the book.Personally,I always think there's hope until we are alive and have the ability to think as a human being.Also I completely agree with James McMurter in the fact that disabilities need to be cured and I hope you will get more attention.
SOY LATINA Y TAMBIEN RENGO MI COLUMNA COMPROMETIDA, YA SOY DISCAPACITADA,PERO SIENTO QUE TODAS LAS FORMAS QUE EXISTEN EN EL MUNDO ,SI UNO ABRE SU MENTE ,NO SE TRATA DE UN CUERPO SE TRATA DE SER ,...........Y SI OLVIDAMOS CICATRICES ,CXIRUGIAS DE VARIAS HORAS, RESULTADOS DEVASTADORES Y TENEMOS LA OPORTUNIDAD DE ELEVARNOS ESPIRITUALMENTE .....ELIGE AMAR Y NO SACAR EN CARA LO QUE ES TUYO,EL OTRO NO TIENE PORQUE SOPORTARNOS ASI , Y SI PUEDES ENTENDER ESTO SERAS MISTERIOSAMENTE FELIZ....................DUELE,PERO YA NO SOMOS ESOS , ABRA TU CORAZON Y ENCONTRARAS LA VIDA BESO CARU
what ever you obviously are disabled or worked with disabled people so you know everything about how you should feel when you are disabled you know That every one that has difficulties in life has to be perfect and not think of suicide when there seems no way out . go for it tell a depressed person they are stupid and offensive for considering suicide cause they are fed up with life . ideally every one would be saved but you live in La la land if you think this doesn't happen . some people are strong like Stuart Mangan some people are not strong hope you never have your life torn away from you. like Will did . was he selfish hell yes but that is part of human nature . i choose to agree to disagree with you on that one . i can tell you from my own experience you can appear happy on the outside and be sad and depressed on the inside.
As a person with a C4 Cord injury, I find the story line of "Me before you" offensive. I had to change my life some after my injury but I expanded my endeavors. Screw Hollywood's stereotypes, get your medical information right, depict us as we are and at least use an actor with a disability. They might actually give the viewer a true insight to spinal cord injury.
How is this offensive to you? I mean no offense of course but I'm just curious as to why so many people get pee'd off by this movie, I don't really think they're stereotyping at all, it's just this individual character
Sher Doxzon Well, but that's not the actors mistake. The movie is filmed according to the book... and do not you think if they would have use someone with an injury, could it be hard to filmed or it would not be as good as if real actors did not play?
plus, I think that something that is really important in the books and was excluded from the movie was the part where Lou starts talking with other disabled people, and they're all so full of life, and recommend activities for Will to do, and actually enjoy their lives, I think that just shows that people go through it differently
I have a disability and yet I love this movie. I understand how it could be misunderstood as a movie that puts negative light to people with disability, but it was pretty obvious that it's not the message it's trying to send. What the protagonist feels is more than just about his disability; it's something more deeper. If the movie wants to focus on disability alone, there could have been more scenes that show him not being able to do a lot of things by himself. In my opinion, the intended message of this movie is to show that in spite of all the resources that he has and the people that care about him, he doesn't want to be a burden to them. He loves the female lead enough that he has chosen to set her free knowing that she can accomplish so much more and take care of her own needs for the first time (because she has always put other people's needs first). It also wants to show us the importance of being able to make very important life choices on our own. Millions of people commit suicide and they're often judged because people feel that it's a very selfish act. What they don't see is the endless suffering these people go through every day. This movie honestly wants to open our minds to the importance of choice and communication. The protagonist communicated very well with his loved ones his plan to take advantage of assisted suicide and prepared them very well as to what's to come. He may have been on a wheelchair, but the same thing could be true and applicable to someone who's living his/her life in pain even without a physical disability. I know this for a fact because as early as 5 years old, I've been wanting to die, but I know that I'll be judged just like the protagonist is being judged for being self-centered and selfish. There's more to his decisions than simply being in a wheelchair. I believe that if assisted suicide or euthanasia would have only been available to those people who had already chosen to end their lives, the outcome would have been a lot different. And yes, if only the option to end my life with dignity is available to me, I wouldn't have to wake up every day feeling dead and extremely miserable. People will say that happiness is a choice, but you'll never understand how it feels to be me unless you go through the same pain that I experience every day. I hope that before we call this movie stereotypical, we widen our way of thinking first and not turn this into something that simply puts disabled people in a bad light because I don't think that's the intention when making this movie.
I have to say I agree with you... suicide is a choice... if someone does not want to live anymore who are we to judge? the only thing we can do is love them anyway... it may seem that such a choice is selfish... but we are also selfish wanting a person to live in a way they can't stand anymore...
Thank you...I truly appreciate that! There's nothing more painful than the emotional pain one experiences. The sad thing is that people always equate it to a mental illness which isn't the case. I hate to say this but I am a living dead; I may be physically alive but everything in me is dead. I did try everything but the outcome is the same...I just want to die! Thank you once again for your understanding. It means a lot to me!
I can accept that those whose physical situations are entirely hopeless might want to end their lives but what about someone who is perfectly healthy but depressed. Where do we draw the line? I could never accept the latter demanding assisted suicide.
@@bernardguynunns5658 when I posted this message, I wasn’t even diagnosed with ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia. Now that I’m suffering from it, the more I stand by my words in support of assisted suicide. I’m in my 40s but have been clinically depressed since I was 6 yrs old. You wouldn’t know the severity of one suffering from it until you’re in their shoes. Pain and suffering don’t end with the physical. Depriving people of their choice and dignity to finally end that suffering is cruel and selfish on your part!
I love how not only are you talking about how bad this story is, but also explaining why it's bad and giving replacement phrases. This is just entertaining and informative all around.
Ha I freaking loved this video & your comic timing was perfect!! I am also a (part time) wheelchair user with a bunch of medical conditions & constant chronic pain and constantly feeling like I have to justify to people why I (gasp) LOVE my life, because of bullcrap like this. Thank you for making this video.
As someone who enjoyed this book, I've always wondered what someone with his injury would think about the story. I could see how a lot of the things were questionable, but didn't know a lot about the topic. You opened up my eyes to a lot of things I didn't notice before. Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for making this video! I'm an English teacher in Ukraine, and our English coursebook has a very problematic excerpt from the book (the scene where Lou and Will first meet). Me and my students live in a country where there are many more people with mobility problems now because of the war, missile strikes and landmines, etc. It's so important for us to interrogate these harmful ways of thinking, but the book doesn't push back at all. As extra homework, I gave them your video to watch and we will discuss it in our next class.
Thank you for making this video- I knew this story was bad in the way that it made disability seem like something worth dying over, but your added conversation about how the language used to describe Will was outdated and offensive was really enlightening. Thank you
Will says he doesn't do anything but exist because that's how he feels. I think he has severe depression and is someone who lost all his hobbies, his job and his girlfriend in the process. His family tiptoes around him and his heavy wheelchair sometimes makes it impossible to get to some places. He can't even shave himself, which is probably the least of things a man feels like he should be able to do. He gets sick all the time and has almost died a couple of times. If anything, this book draws attention to the difficulties wheelchair users MIGHT face, especially in a world that is designed for people with four working limbs. The book doesn't tell the story of every single wheelchair user ever, it tells one story. Oh and they go to Will's ex girlfriend's wedding because the ex is getting married with Will's best friend. Oh and the horse-racing point. Have you been to british countryside on a rainy day? Even shoes get stuck in the mud, not to mention a heavy piece of equipment. The concert thing? He doesn't mean he's not a man because he's in a wheelchair, the word 'man' is just a synonym for 'person' in this context. You completely discarded Lou's character. She completely, 100% accepts Will just as he is. She google's things she and Will could do together because he's depressed and depressed people benefit from friends doing things together. She took him on an expensive vacation because he's filthy rich and those kinds of trips were the kinds he did before his accident. She tries to bring normalcy back to his life. Lavish vacations might be alien to you but Will used to do that kind of trips ALL THE TIME, it's not super special to him, just normal. She doesn't take him there because it's the only way of comforting people in wheelchairs etc. And maybe she is a little naive, but so what? She's young and quirky/weird. But I agree, the author should've done proper research and use the right termionology. His tattoo is stupid, and I also think that media should have more disabled people just as they are, and not making a huge thing out of it. (Same goes for mental disorders and speech impediments). However, it still doesn't mean basing the story line around the disability, disorder, impediment etc is unacceptable or bad. On the contrary, it's a great tool for making abled people aware of their environments and start advocating for more disability friendly places and events. Also, as someone who's suffered from depression in the past, I feel like Will's story isn't even about the wheelchair; it's about his depression and suicidal feelings. The book/movie revolves around Will planning his own death! And it shows us that sometimes mental disease can be so vile and so severe that no amount of kindness, normalcy or love can always cure you. There's one thing though, not mentioned in the video, and it's about the movie. I can't understand why they didn't choose a disabled actor for his role.
Movies actually rarely use people with certain “disease” or whatsoever to play the role of it, ever saw a cancer Patient plays the role? It’s so sensitive to do so
Well yes he was still depressed and unhappy learning his knew life and then killed himself, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times.
hi! i just found you. I'm one of those "horrifically suffering and disfigured" people with an ostomy...to whom people regularly say, "i'd rather be dead than live with a poo bag". every depiction i have ever seen on tv or media is negative. (except for all the awesome youtubers who regularly talk about their ostomies!! i really enjoyed your video. congratulations on the new house:)
Will traynor was depressed though. That's why he thought so negatively of himself and everything. That's how depressed people are. But yeah. Some details are a little off.
And that's exactly why i hate the story. He just killed himself, he committed suicide. We shouldn't let peopel commit suicide, we should help them and give them hope.
Yes! I fully believe the story isn't even about the wheelchair, but about depression. How vile depression can be at its worst, and how others and their actions, no matter how kind and compassionate, can't cure you. Depression is a bitch and you shouldn't fight it alone, but if you're suicidal and feel fully worhtless, some kind words are likely not gonna make a difference, and sometimes even if someone does their everything (like Lou), it's still not enough to save you.
Well yes, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times.
as a wheelchair user, I don't hate the movie honestly. I am in a wheelchair, I know some people who used euthanasia to die. I personally like my disabled live but it is hard to cope with sometimes. People should be able to get the right help and Will's mindset was kinda toxic. But I get that some people would choose to end it and that's their choice. Though I agree that the wording could've been better
Yes, they are slightly different. Intouchables is not a romantic story, but it is wonderful. I highly recommend it, I've watched it several times already :)
This was beyond eye opening and I really appreciate this review, as someone who doesn't have to live with a disability I find myself lacking sufficient knowledge of the struggles/details of a lot of physical disabilities, therefor I unfortunately can't identify offensive or poorly done representation in mainstream media particularly well, so thank you for this so much, it has opened my eyes up to a whole new world of knowledge and has allowed me to be more understanding of disabilities and people with them!
I watched the movie and cried my eyes out at the ending. I didn't even think about all the problems it had. Thankyou for your video. It's really eye opening.
The shame with the film is they cut out the online support group where the girl Louisa finds all this information out from other people with spinal cord injuries. That showed the positive side of people with disabilities. The book also explained the preparations Louisa had to do in terms of moving furniture and her dad building a ramp for Will to get in. It does make sense to me now that more had to be done like probably getting through the front door from the angle of the staircase that were right as you walked into her house would have been an issue. However, this all goes back to the movie making standpoint. Nothing on the silver screen is 100% accurate. They take liberties with everything and cut corners. I can imagine this can be frustrating and they should have done more to show the realism of this topic, but just like a lot gets cut out in movies, a lot is manufactured in the suspension of disbelief. Coming from someone who has no experience with people with disabilities, I didn't even think about this film or book being "ablest" but I've been watching these reviews from people in the community and it's opening my eyes a bit. The people who made this book and film had a great opportunity and missed a lot of avenues they could have taken to shed light on the topic. That being said, as someone who has no experience with the physically disabled community, I understood from reading, as it was presented more effectively, that Will was an odd case. In the beginning, he tried support groups, was willing to meet with other people with quadriplegia who were in his community, and had a good attitude. However, the moment he realized he wasn't going to get better, he was over it. Through the online support that Louisa gets to help aid Will the best she can, we learned that this was a typical wall that most people in the community have to get through and there were dozens of responses explaining how it could happen and the kind of life he could have. However, Will didn't want it no matter what. Again, in the book, it's explained how this is so frowned upon and all the options he had for a life, but Will was set. This is not the life he wanted. From my perspective, from someone who had a relative actually get humanely euthanized in the Netherlands, I didn't think this was a movie saying, "Oh yeah being disabled is worse than death." What it made me think was how sad that this one guy cannot see all the help available to him and all the life available to him. I know this is super long and I didn't mean for it to be, but I will say all in all, as someone from a very outsider perspective, I didn't take it the way I think people are assuming. That being said, videos like yours and the others I've been watching make me sad that people with disabilities weren't shown in the best light when they could have been considering the wide platform this film has. It did open my eyes though, as did your video, so thank you.
The thing is that the author does not tell the story as something that disabled people should do, it is a story of an individual person who just cannot accept his condition and just does not want to be a burden to his relatives (this is his point of view on the situation). We all have the right to make our own decisions.
Liliya R. It's honestly how I would react if I became permanently disabled. After my car accident back when i was 14 I was in a wheelchair for 8 months it was one of the lowest moments in life I couldn't take it anymore if i became physically disabled again but this time permanent. Suicide would definitely be something id consider and I absolutely hate to say it but it's true
I agree with you mostly. Although I can also see why the poorly done research can be INCREDIBLY frustrating for people who really have quadriplegia (I had to google the spelling lmao). As someone who's had depression and still has a form of autism, it's already irritating to see those things written poorly by people who don't know two things about it.
I think the problem is, like he said, that it's written by an able bodied person for able bodied people. The injury is seen as a nightmare scenario that makes up for good drama and emotional scenes, and a lot of the readers seem to agree. Some people actually live with this, and the fact that someone's profiting from using their condition (especially when not even knowing much about it) as a dramatic storyline is lame. If people think that a book, in which one of the main characters is literally defined by his disability instead of being an actual multidimensional individual is well-written, it's kinda dehumanizing towards people with disabilities. If she wanted to tell a story where a guy just can't get over it, in this individual case, the book should've probably stressed the fact that Will had always been quite self-centered and shallow, and the romance should've also focused on the dysfunctional psychological setting between the two, because that would've been the main issue. (I haven't read the book, though, so I'm basing everything I know on this video and what I've read about the plot online)
The problem is that this is the ONLY THING MOST ABLE BODIED PEOPLE SEE ABOUT US. I kid you not, people who knew me for years started sending me messages after this movie came out saying sh!t like "I just saw me before you and I understand what you're going through SO MUCH BETTER now!" and trying to tell me that my life was worth living (despite showing no indication that I thought otherwise). I work in a disability representation program for schools and SO many kids and teachers tell us they would rather die than be like us. what happens then if they do become like us? statistically it's likely that at some point they will (old age, accidents, illness etc). this "sad cripple" story is all they know about us. what dose "I don't want to be a burden on my loved ones" tell a person who goes and sees this movie who might still be adapting to their life in a wheelchair? it tells them they are a burden because outside of his family and Lou, there is nothing to tell him he's not, just complication after complication. there's nothing in the story to my knowledge that balances it all out, or indicated that this was only one person's story. to the average observer who knows nothing about disability, Will represents everyone in a wheelchair. And yes, I am aware depression can mess with your head and make even good situations seem horrible, but listen to the reviews this film got. that's not what people thought he killed himself for. they think he killed himself because "he'll never be as good as he was" which is completely untrue. The guy was a sportsman, you can still play sport in a wheelchair. the guy was a "ladies man" and very sexual, I know guys who sleep with more women in a weekend trip away than most men can in a month. You adapt. You learn. You grow. this movie and book showed none of that. That's why people are upset with it. Fayanna Rena 8 months is not long enough to truly adapt to life in a chair so it makes sense that it was a low point for you, it would be crazy to expect the first 8 months to be a good picture of a whole life with a permanent disability. It takes years to adapt. it's hard but it gets easier with time. being a teenager dose impact that as well (teenagers in particular tend to struggle with disability). I've been in a wheelchair my whole life and it's really not that bad once you lean your way around things properly. but learning takes time.
Thank you for this video! I got recommended the book on goodreads and I found it to be the most morally bereft book I've ever read. His suicide is treated as some sort of triumph of spirit instead of a tragedy. And everyone's life is better with him dead? Lou gets money. His dad finally gets to leave his marriage and live with his mistress. So...yay? And Will misses his life being a blackberry addicted adrenaline junkie so much he commits suicide? His family was toxic. He was toxic. Louisa was too cowed by their money and intelligence to really speak up effectively. The mental health system failed him. I understand the value of medically assisted suicide. But this was not a case where it was called for. For those who have lost a loved one to suicide this book is a slap in the face. It didn't have to end happily. But it sure shouldn't have glorified his choice. I'm glad I read a library copy instead of buying it.
@@reikun86 he had a completely flat character arc. The 1st scene set him up as someone completely obsessed with superficial success. He lost that (in his own eyes) couldn't deal with it, learned nothing from it and died. If his character setup had been different it maayyyyybe could have made sense. The author ignored her own narrative arc in favor of a gimmick.
His choice wasn't glorified. The book deals with a lot of thinking about pros and cons. "Not a case where it was called for"- that's for the individual to decide.
Thank God this video exists. I finished the movie. And for a moment I was in shock, but then I was FURIOUS. I searched and searched online to find out if anyone else was as angry as I was. I did find some, but not many. I'm so glad I found this. Watching all my feelings about the book said out loud makes me feel like I'm not silly for hating the book/movie. Thank you.
The fact that the movie/book doesn’t represent you, it does not mean it doesn’t represent others! Even if it represents 0.0001% of the disabled community! My uncle (who I loved like a father) got both legs amputated because of his severe diabetes and was confined to a wheelchair for the last two years of his life. Sorry if the word “confined” offends you but it’s the correct word to use in his situation. He couldn’t afford the type of chair you have nor any of the tools you use to make your life easier. We had to carry him to the toilet which was very humiliating for him. He spent most of those 2 last years in hospitals and dialysis centers. 3 months before he died due to kidney failure, he told me he wanted to die. This movie talks about a guy that is profoundly depressed. Someone that needs somebody else to do absolutely everything for him. Someone who is getting weaker and who’s health is declining. It is not about you, buddy! I’m really sorry about what happened to you, and I’m glad you were able to move forward and appreciate the positive aspects of being alive, but not everyone feels the same way. Lou and the parents in the movie represent all of us who have gone through the heartache of knowing that the one we love, doesn’t want to stick around, doesn’t want to fight anymore, doesn’t want to feel sick any longer. You seem like a wise man. Show some respect for the others who are not as strong as you are. Best wishes!
I was thinking that while watching this. As someone who suffers from depression I gotta say it's pretty dumb that he just focus on the disability and how he's got it good now to say it's stupid. I'm able bodied, I have a loving family, I have plenty of money, hell I don't even have to work! but I have constant suicidal thoughts and have tried twice. I have nothing to complain about, most people would call me stupid because my life is so perfect and yet I just feel like I feel nothing! He complains that people don't understand disability but he seem to be the one who doesn't understand depression to that level. I'm not sure what I would feel if I suddenly had this happen to me, but my best bet would be my ass at dignitas in a week or two. If my current state of mind is anything to go by.
Dani this is a little off topic, but i can relate so much to what you said; nothing truly bad has ever happened to me, my life is good, I have a loving family, friends, I have a home, food - but still... everything feels so incredibly heavy and I think the worst part about it is that you compare yourself to people who have it much worse than you and you are ashamed of the darkness that surrounds you when actually your life is full of light. It's like you hate yourself so much that you're not even able to grant yourself permission to feel sad.
RIGHT? Even watching this, it's like he is saying well, look at me I have pretty tough and I never though to go through with killing myself. Which makes it so unfair to those of us who suffer from mental issues. They might not be the loss of the ability to walk but they do include the loss of the will to live or even get up and do anything. That is also valid. But it's looked down upon by this guy just because he has it worst (in his opinion). Trust me, I wish I had his mental strength but it doesn't work that way. If people telling me that being grateful for what I have and looking at others that have less worked I wouldn't have to take pills, go to therapy and it certainly would mean not having my mother be on suicide watch for months forcing me to take a bunch of pills just to keep my brain from going to really dark places. Trust me hun I get it and just because he has a physical disability doesn't mean that what we have is just a plot point. And even that comment of "going ton vacation is not how you help them" Tell that to my mum, who put so much into a trip to Europe and made it so good that for a moment she had me thinking that life might sometimes be worth living just for those wonderful moments. At least it got me to take my pills right? Suicidal people can use things like that as motivation to make it through the day or even the next hour.
I understand where you're coming from, but thats still not an excuse to create an ableist book and movie. Yes, it is important to write narratives for the people who are depressed and live with disabilities, but that can only be done respectfully and successfully when there are already multiple narratives of people with disabilities living happy lives as well. There are barely any movies with people with disabilities in the main cast, let alone as the main character, so if the first movie that you create is one where the person with a disability wants to die, what are you telling the audience? Basically, that their lives are not worth living due to their disability. That's without even mentioning that they used an actor who was able-bodied in a movie based on a book created by an able-bodied person. If you want to create a narrative to describe a minority, at least recruit people of that minority in the process.
That is the stupidest thing I have ever read So in order to be a good person and not be criticized you need to follow some type of formula in how inspiration strikes you and it HAS to b about a happy disabled person first, after that go right ahead and write about the depressed one? This woman is not JK Rowling, she had no idea her book was going to do well and become a best seller. She had no idea it was going to be made into a film a few years down the line. How was she supposed to plan for her future success and how people see it? How was she to plan to be made an example of? Furthermore, they really gloss over other details in the book. Like that the guy is super depressed because of what he had in every sense of the word; his ability to walk, his friends who all sort of left him behind after the accident and the fact that his former faience now was going to marry his best friend. The guy was down and they kicked him harder. He was depressed and those around him did nothing to help him. As I said, some of us are not able to get over things the way others do. Nt everyone is as strong willed and has such a strong personality, I tell you this because I am one of those people. We have real life examples of people who are incredibly strong, like the man in this video, but making a depressed character sound like it's the worst thing in the world is rude to those of us who battle with the urge to end it all on a daily basis. Ever thought of it that way?
Thank you. As a person born with kidney disease and sustaining spinal cord injury at L5/6 I was seriously offended by this book. I have no time for anyone who sees me as simply disabled. Anyone who defined me as such is out my life. Will was a total hypocrite, life was worth living, except for him of course.
I'm an able bodied person and I absolutely hated the book!!! To me it put out a very negative message that anyone with a disability basically had no life and had the right to just off themselves. Not only did I hate it but it made me angry, especially when I think about people with disabilities who not only still make the most of life but also do great things to help and encourage others in the same situation. To me it was a slap in the face to people that may face difficulties because yes life has changed, but they remain optimistic and appreciate life,! As they should!
It's not illegal to "off yourself" and it's totally the right thing that people who are suffering have the option. But I still definitely don't like how this book portrays the situation.
Thanks for sharing. I thought Will's desire to end his life was partly because of the extreme pain: stomach ulcers; frequent infections; even slight bumps on sidewalks made him wince; frequent burning sensation; pneumonia; he knew his breathing etc would keep getting worse. Seems like these effects are not typical in spinal cord injuries. But maybe his condition was more complicated. I'm inspired by your story and understand the anger against the stereotype. Best wishes!
A. I loved Me Before You (for some reason), and while I still appreciate the writing, I now understand how the plot and characters are offensive. So thank you! B. The way you said "Mother of Dragons" made me cackle.
Having worked in home care, I was IMMEDIATELY alarmed when the trailer promised a caregiver-patient love story - which goes against EVERYTHING I've ever learned in my job. So I actually never saw the movie, for this very reason. Now I'm glad I didn't, having heard how ableist it is. Thank you so much for this video. It's great that you're informing us about using people-first language!
I found your video after finishing the book and I needed to see this. I went into this story with people around me telling me it was amazing and so sad and beautiful, so I wanted to like it. However, something felt wrong while I was reading, and I couldn’t quite place my finger on what bothered me so much until I finished it. It seems like the spinal cord injury was just a plot device in creating this depressing narrative of “life isn’t worth living anymore like this” which made me uncomfortable as an AB person, I can’t even imagine how it would feel to see that narrative as a disabled person. This story could have educated AB people about the negative stigmas surrounding disabilities and show the world that a disability is not a nightmare. I’m terrible at expressing my thoughts, but you did a wonderful job. This video is well done and in my opinion perfectly describes the problem with this book/movie.
Your comments on the medical side of this are absolutely fair, but you cannot know how a person’s mental state is affected by their disability, or what is or isn’t realistic for a person with an injury like yours to say. Not everyone can eventually overcome their new challenges. Not everyone looks at their chair as a tool. For some that peace may never come. Depression is a very real thing, my only critique in this storyline is that perhaps the author should have put more emphasis on his mental state rather than his physical state. Also, the right to die with dignity is not something that should be considered “controversial.” It is something we give our pets, but our human loved ones must suffer until they die naturally? Will Traynor was sick beyond his spinal injury, factual or not. People who are suffering with painful illnesses should be able to choose how their life ends.
Swiss does not allow assisted suicide to kill people that dealing with depression or other mental health issues, else that would be charged as murder. You have to have a terminal illness and at a state that makes living impossible. You have to pass from doctors that do check if there really is no hope or treatment out there for you, depression although hard is curable, you have to visit a special psychiatrist that walks and talks you and your family and loved once through the progress. It makes me mad because this book sends a terrible message, not just about mental illness and people that face some challenges and limits, but also makes assisted suicide to look like a joke and an easy way out, it's not, and messages like this make it hard to keep it legal and open so really suffering people have the possibility to end their live in dignity in a circle of love and ease. It's like glorifying abortion as only possible birth control, and then wondering why people are mortified and find it horrible? Abortion is necessary and needs to be legal, so should assist suicide be, but only under the right circumstances
Well yes he was depressed and unhappy learning his knew life and then killed himself, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times
Would you like a book that's waxing on about the tragedy of being a woman, how terrible it is that she's plagued by her inherent femaleness, how such a great mind is unfortunately wasted inside a body that makes it completely unable to act rationally, how her inherent weakness and emotional fragility make it impossible for her to do anything but sit in a well-sheltered place, away from the cruel world she's obviously too fragile and angelic to ever face such things as *gasp* voting. No? Really not? But it's just about this one woman who just happens to fit all those stereotypes !111!!! If not, maybe stop talking over disabled people and telling them that they aren't allowed to point out how damaging the perpetuation of such stereotypes is because, surprise, you're not disabled and thus a really poor judge of what is a problem for the disabled community and what isn't. Hint: disabled people being murdered because "It's better to be dead than disabled" IS a pretty big and widespread problem.
I'll admit i was sobbing at the end of the movie, but there was something that seemed very off about the portrayal of wheelchair users. As someone currently in the process of a depression diagnosis, the rep of that also didnt sit quite right, especially with the ending. Thank you for educating people on this topic!
Personal choice is very important. I believe everyone has a right to live or die. I would choose death over paralysis. However, I do not expect anyone else to share my viewpoint. Just give me the freedom to make my own decision. The character in the book shares my POV.
This is great. I will be the first to admit that one of my biggest fears in life has been to become disabled - just like you said, I always thought I would rather die than to sustain a disability. You have changed my mind on that, a 100%.
I saw the movie and was confused about the backlash because people constantly complained about "When are we going to get a character who is depressed that doesn't magically get fixed by getting a spouse?" and I thought that Me before You delivered that? He had a "good" life but becoming a wheelchair user didn't satisfy him and gave him depression. The girl then gives him some enjoyment in his life but he's still depressed and wants to die. I don't know, that's my "ablest"(?) perspective I guess...
maybe I just related to the sadness too much. I remember when I had the love of my life and although she mad me the happiest I ever was, I was still sad and attempted suicide, having to stay in the hospital overnight. If the author constructed the research a bit more, would the book/movie be better?
I totally agree. This book was written as a story, not a self-help book to spread an encouraging message. Unfortunately, there are many people in the world who have the same mindset as the main character and have killed themselves because of their disability. That’s the reality of it. Is the author saying that it’s okay? No. Is the author saying all disabled people feel this way? No. But to say it depicts disabled people in a bad light is not completely accurate. This story isn’t about you, this is someone else’s reality.
+A Turtle The reply to "When are we going to get a character who is depressed that doesn't magically get fixed by getting a spouse?" shouldn't have been; "No, you're not enough. *kills self*" ...it should've been about a guy (or a girl) taking the steps to getting well without romantic love having anything to do with it. Because love from another person obviously doesn't fix depression. If the author wanted to write a book about the right for people to take their own lives she shouldn't have used quadriplegia, she should've used a disease that eventually would've killed him anyway.
Well yes he was depressed and unhappy learning his knew life and then killed himself, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times
I haven’t watched me before you because I heard about the ending. My dad lived a full life of 35 years with one leg, he didn’t think I should just kill my self because life isn’t worth it. He had 3 kids post leg loss and built a great business and had decades with the love of his life, life was worth it.
I haven't read the book but I saw the movie and really loved it. But after watching your video I am so aware of what a messed-up representation it was and the negative messages it sends about living life with a physical disability. Thank you for making this video and bringing this to the attention of people who do not have the insight and knowledge that you do! So eye-opening! Thank you!
I respect your views, and I have the utmost respect for disabled people. It might sound crazy, but I'm sure the movie was purely for Hollywood and didn't care for disabled people's realities. Sad to say, that's how money works in the movie industry.
It's based on a book and the author also wrote the script and didn't want the ending changed,Having saw the movie,it's mentioned several times what Will wants to do is wrong,the lead female even does everything she can to get him to see life is worth willing,to get him to change his stubborn mind,it's not in your face that you should end it all if your in a wheel chair for life,it's taken from one guys perspective,one guys life,I have had loved ones in a wheel chair for life and they had days they wished they could die,that they weren't a burden,I never saw them as that and I would never think assisted suicide is ok,it's terrible,but like I said the book and film is from the perspective of one person,I imagine everybody in a wheelchair either has the same feelings or a different feeling.
the movie is not for dissabled people that is not totally completely paralyzed. This character is totally misserable since he cannot really do anything anymore. What do you do if you cannot even hold anything ? If you compare it to others, he cannot do anything anymore. While as others can still do things since they can move their hands and arms. Plus not all dissabled people have money or support, some are poor they cannot afford help or nurse or anything so they will really want to die. And even with money, it is emotional and mental torture to not be able to do anything and to move anything. feels like Your soul is lock inside your body, imagine what it feels like if you are tied to a chair for the rest of your life, and you can';t move anything but your head. The complainers here are not the same situation so they keep complaining about the movie and will say there is still life being dissabled, FUCK you can move that's why you can say that, your hands and arms are moving. Try to check the people that are in the same situation, many of them wants to die. I suggest to those who keeps complaining to check the ones that are really in the same situation I mean SAME and see if they are happy.
That's not crazy, that's being realistic about it. Of course they didn't think of disabled people, at best disabled people are props for them and we certainly are never seen as "close enough" to being people to be thought of, well, ever. Unless it earns money, of course. If you can paint a tragic picture to get people to donate to you and line your pockets with that, then disabled people suddenly exist*. *In this case referring to Autism $peaks, but I'd be surprised if there weren't more questionable organizations like that.
Thanks for this. My wife is a wheelchair user. Sometimes life seems like one long struggle against the sort of attitudes portrayed in "Me Before You". It's refreshing to find your review and in style!
OH YIKE. I am so glad I never saw it! Even the language used is pretty awful. My mobility aids are just that, they aid me and make my life better?? Just woooow. Everything about that is saying that people who are disabled aren't real people...? [BLINKING WHITE MAN GIF]
Sophia Neilsson.. Yeah I still find it very hard to understand why able bods see my wheelchair as such a negative thing. I waited some time to get a good one, and it's made such a difference to my independence. Plus u get to go fast on wheels again (I used to speed every day on my pushbike. Ex courier). I see my wheelchair as an unusually shaped go kart. And I ride it like one too 😎.
Actually its an amazing movie if you actually saw it. It gave me chills and warmed my heart too. A lot of people love it because its pretty unique and original also it kinda has the same feeling after you watched the titanic which I love and I know it is offensive but the way it made me feel is just extraordinary
Thank you for such an informative and helpful video! And thank you for presenting in a friendly, non-aggressive way, which I think was really helpful as it meant people really understood the issues with the book and didn't become too defensive. I look forward to your other videos soon!
Have you seen Les Intouchables? It is also about a carer and a man with a disability. I really enjoyed it, its a really heart warming story where both characters learn a lot about life through their bond. But, then again, I don't have a disability, so I'm not really sure if there is anything problematic... maybe you could watch it and review it?
Nicely done. As a fellow filmmaker with a spinal cord injury, I commend you on tackling this issue! Hollywood needs to create stories that accurately reflect the lives of individuals with disabilities. This includes hiring actors with disabilities rather than non-disabled talent. While portraying the part of a person with a disability might be popular among the able-bodied acting community, it is quickly becoming the modern day equivalent of "black face". Disability should and must be accurately represented in the media. Kudos for your video.
If I could, I would like & share this endlessly. I'm so glad I saw this. The line where you said "it was made by the non-disabled for the non-disabled & caters to the non-disabled" struck a chord in me. It completed messed me up. It was such an eye-opener Wow. This video was wonderful.
i loved it so much. expected the usual clickbait "video essay" rant but was so pleasantly surprised. loved this narrative with two yous that talk about each other as one person, as "us", it made for amazing jokes and exchanges :)
I have spent most of my life correcting people using offensive language when it comes to mental health conditions... yet when I watched this film I saw nothing wrong... thank you so much for making this video and reviewing this. I can’t believe I didn’t see how disturbingly offensive this film actually was, I don’t think I was thinking that it was discriminatory while watching it, but after your review I can’t unsee. Brilliant ending summary as well, interesting to hear! Thank you!
thank you so much for this video!! Just today I uploaded a video about my thoughts on the novel but you of course bring much more eloquence than I could, I immediately linked your video. So much criticism on this novel that I found was by able bodied people, so this perspective is much needed and appreciated.
For the longest time I totally bought into this movie because of the pretty packaging but this opened my eyes completely. This video was not only clever, well made, and engaging, but extremely important. I'm definitely going to send this to all my friends.
that's an amazing video!! I've seen many people online complaining about it - as well as many who loved the movie/book. and it's amazing to see a critique from someone who is actually disabled, and honestly shares their opinion and experiences. it's wonderful that you made this video and I hope you make more like this. love from Austria!!
This was amazing! Thank you for this great review, I hate when books that perpetuate stereotypes get insanely popular and give birth to movies that perpetuate stereotypes. Your review was lighthearted but insightful!
Interesting to see it from the point of view of someone who would understand it much better than me. When I read it I loved the book and always just saw Will putting himself down as he was depressed about having a lifestyle change and just never let himself grow from it and keep living in a different way. But I enjoyed this new POV you gave me.
Very important points made but here is my sole deduction from the plot. Will was depressed. These things happen, some just can't cope and it goes downhill.
I don't see how it was offensive. The story clearly states that many people with similar disabilities are happy and fulfilled, just not this particular man. Also why Dignitas controversial? It offers a valuable service to people in need. Just because some people with quadripeglia such as this lovely dude experience joy and lead a purposeful life does not mean that is the case for anyone.
My thought too. We all make different choices. No wonder Clark was told just to love him and respect his choice. Its a sad movie mixed with some happy moments the man on the wheelchair choose to take.
But this story doesn't need to exist. A non-disabled person did not have to write a story about a person with a disability who chooses to die because of how much he hates being disabled. It would be fine if it was a true story but since it is a fictional story that does not have to exist or be told in the way that it was, people are allowed to criticize the narrative it spreads. Rewatch the bit at 11:54 because I think it really sums up what the problem is.
@@frances9975this is honestly so pathetic. People are allow to choose what they want to watch. Just like they're allow to decide if their quality of life is so diminished after a paralyzing accident that they would rather exit early
I did not stop to think about how the vocabulary and mainly the plot would affect the disable community. This has been open minding, thank you so much for this video.
I just watched this video and then got sad because it is your only video. I wasn't really planning on seeing that movie anyway, but I am glad I now better understand why it is such an offensive, ableist movie.
There is absolutely nothing offensive about this film .It is a beautiful film beautifully acted by two talented people.Besides no one will miss you not seeing it as it is a hit.Not everyone in a wheel chair has exactly the same disabilities, or suffers the same pain as the character in the film. For him it was not bearable that's all. His choice.
+bluewren Reilly For you it wasn't, but they way they portray disabled people was. Movies like this might teach or influence someone to think that disabled people are "miserable". This movie doesn't empower disabled people, it just makes people "pity" them more. Disabled people don't want your pity, they just want respect.
Hi Justhappentobe. AZ Chapman sent me here. Beep beep beep to you! Happy 13th anniversary. "So many things have happened - we got married; we have a Master's degree; we have a van we can drive"! An ordinary life is as well celebrating as any other. So we all celebrate. I celebrate you.
I saw the movie this evening unsure as to whether it would (in my opinion) represent disability in a way that would prevent me from walking out especially considering all of the negative reviews. While I am not a quadriplegic, I do have multiple neurological conditions. I was pleasantly surprised to find that this was one of the best movies that I have ever seen on the topic of life with a disability. It does not state that life with a disability is not worth living, but rather it shows a man who could acknowledge that he had a good (current) life but he could not deal with knowing what he had "lost" or the concept that the love of his life may one day resent him. The movie never attempts to show disability in general, but rather the individual experiences of one man. One of my favorite aspects was that it showed the necessity of treating someone as their own person rather than what you would like them to be. Honestly, if he had had his mind changed, I would feel as though it was removing his ability to make a decision for his own life.
You gave me some new insight. I totally lost this negativ point because I was looking out for excuses for such drastical decisions like his neverending series of illnesses and pain that could make anybody go crazy but in the end Will himself admits it is because of the disablity and he does not mention the pain as much as the psychological trauma he suffered in contrast to his old life. So thank you for the insight and this bittersweet taste for maybe a more disturbing story I did not understand.
i watched the movie and liked it. i never thought about it in this way. i’m not sure how i feel about it now. thank you for opening my mind to this pov.
Hey thank you so much for putting the time and effort into this video. While I am disabled I do not have the same disability as you and do not know much about spinal injuries. The book's premise infuriated me as my aunt used a wheelchair for cerebral palsy. She was never "confined" to her wheelchair.
Hey Dan (I'm assuming from your Instagram handle that's your name?), would you maybe be interested in doing a video on what you thought of "Les Intouchables"? I would love to know your thoughts on it.
I read the book a few years ago and didn't think much of it. I've never met or talked to anyone with quadriplegia so I wasn't familiar with any of the points you made. But I am so glad I saw this, it really put everything in a different light. Great review!
As a singer, actor, wheelchair user from birth, I grant that disability is an individual experience. I'm not going to debate that issue, as it's been done rather well here. I do however want to know, with what other minority, could you get away with this?!! An author who is not herself disabled, writing from the only perspective she can, that of sudden, imagined, disability. Written, through a prism of fear, as all things unknown to us are. Combine that, with an actor who is also not disabled, crippen up for the camera, to once again, imagine or aproximate, our truth. It doesn't have to be the truth, as long as it fits the dominant ableist societal narrative. If it is decided, that you gave good on sreen gimpage?? Awards, recognition, & career advancement follow. These roles are coveted for that reason. Incase ya missed it, lets go over the take away. Cripp Face is common place & accepted. The reality of disabled life & experience is of no interest to the people churning out this crapp, & this, is accepted as our reality!! That, is a neat fuckin trick!! We are nowhere in this equasion.
Some of the best books were written with main characters which held identities which authors did not have direct perspective on. Take J K Rowling for example, she wasn't a boy or a wizard However, I will give you that one of the best books I've ever read which focusus on disabilities was My Left Foot by Christy Brown So I get why often, the author being able to pull from their own experiences, is the best situation. However, I don't think people should be limited in what kind of characters an author can choose to write about
You must be painfully narrowminded if you think an author has to directly experience what their character does in order to produce a worthwhile story and message. That's fiction sweetie, if it's too hard for you to grasp then maybe you should stick to instragram
If the author is writing about someone experiencing something they personally have not, they need to, well, actually do some fucking research. That goes doubly for minorities you're not a part of.
Thank you for making this video. The points you made were things that I had not realized at the time I watched that movie. This kind of content is great for helping able bodied people understand how certain content and misinformation is detrimental.
I'm really bad at making what i think in my head come out write on line, so I'm sorry if I say anything offensive because that is truly not my intention. I do not think that this is a perfect book or movie at all, and there are many flaws, mostly to do with the finite details of his condition. But most people generally do not know the exact terminology when it comes to paralysis (I certainly don't), and I think most people would do well to just look past the little mistakes with that because I don't agree that it should impact the actual story that was developed. I do believe that the main basis of the story was choice. It was Will's choice to go through with that, and whether or not it was right it doesn't matter because it was his. And the reason why it could be perceived as offensive is because there is so few films or books about a person with a disability, that the only one that is well known also contains themes of euthanasia, which i understand is really not great. I think the problem mostly lies with just how little there is portrayed about disability in media, because if there were plenty of stories involving disability, this one would just be one that contains some extreme ideas, and several technical mistakes regarding the disability.
This was such a great video and I think you did an excellent job! Great work and using your voice to call out the BS. Discussions like this will open people's eyes and pave the way for a much better and authentic stories to be written.
Hey. I just wanted to say that I fully appreciate your effort and the substance and research that went into this arguement against Me Before You. You have educated me and opened my eyes to your perspective even if I don't fully agree. I actually like Me Before You, but I also completely stand by you on the offence and ableism of how the story unfolds and how the characters are portrayed. Wherever I stand on this argument, whether it's for or against or totally inbetween, a smart person can entertain an idea without fully accepting it. And that is a lesson I learned from you along with empathy and understanding. Thank you so much for opening my eyes towards this and I can't wait to see more of your content. Have a great day -Ash :)
The movie in my opinion wasn't offensive. It was told from the perspective of a person with quadraplegia and their choice not to go on. The movie never suggested people with paralysis or disabilities should die, cannot live full lives or have sex. This was the choice of one man..period. We have the right to live and die as we choose. Personally i wouldn't have given them six months if it were me. It was a good movie but sad because like his character pointed out he could've still had a good life but he chose it wasn't for him.
![Me Before You: Better DEAD than disabled? [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/AVVQb0xoA6I/mqdefault.jpg)
![Me Before You... Kill Yourself // Rant Time [CC]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/nE8CESB0NeI/mqdefault.jpg)
I think that “Me Before You” should be viewed as just a story about a man suffering from a disability and who wasn’t able to cope with it, but was able to make a mark on his caretaker’s life, who in turn, changed him a little bit(obviously, not enough to stop him from giving up). I see it as a story about two people that remain forever bonded, like Will says at the end: “You are scored on my heart, Clarke”. It’s not a lesson on how people with disability should be seen in general, it’s a particular case with particular people.
I like your style of self-conversation. It manages to point out some real offensive things without alienating the viewer.
I never realized how offensive this story was. I thought the ending sent a terrible message, but I didn't know it was so offensive all the way through the book.
They literally make it out that being disabled is so horrible they should kill themselves. That's disgusting.
Meskarune I never read the book but the movie made it to be about the guy being unable to coop with his new situation. Now I must read the book because I want to make my opinion about it.
Well, to some people it is. Especially very active people that used to be into sports. To say that no disabled people are depressed is unrealistic. I think you maybe look to much into it as the character of Will representing the whole disabled community instead of a singular, personal case. The book just tells a story, it's not a role model to follow.
I thought the guy would change his mind, fall in love with Lu and choose to live in the end but he didn't. X-/
I think y'all are missing the point of the book. It's not saying oh being handicapped isn't worth being alive for. In the book the character struggled to be happy with life, after the accident. Depression is normal after going from "normal"(lack of better word) to being a quadriplegic. In the book he wanted to die, but his family was selfish and kept him alive. He wanted to go to a center where they medicate your death assisted suicide. Not everyone is happy nor wants to live through a traumatic experience. You have to be really ignorant to only see it from one angle. In the book the girl tried to find websites to help from others who were in his place and know how it is. Seriously not everyone is going to be rainbows and sunshine and accept what's happened. It okay to not be okay. Some people are thankful to be alive, but others can't take it. In a fairy tale life when I read the book I was disappointed that while he found a new love he still went with assisted suicide. After a while I realized he did it because he felt like he couldn't deal with it, it was his decision. In the story he said he knew some people are still happy, but he wasn't. To me it didn't glorify or tell people if you were to become handicapped to commit suicide. It just showed life, which in life people won't always agree with everything a person chooses. The dude couldn't get over his past life, and accept being a quadriplegic. let's face it could you honestly be mad at someone for not being happy? As I said not everyone wants or gets used to the new lifestyle.
Fantastic hearing a disabled person's perspective on this story as I myself am not disabled. It's very eye opening listening to you discuss the language used. When you said "It was made by the non disabled for the non disabled and caters to the non disableds' biggest fears about life with a disability" made me go holy shit. Like, you're so right!! I never woild have thought about it that way. It's a shame disabilities are so normal yet aren't at all normalized in our society. Props to you my man for this video!!
I'm a paraplegic and noticed a lot of inconsistencies. In my own opinion I was so grateful they actually showed and expressed that people with disabilities can be really depressed by their situation. I appreciated that they brought up autonomic dysreflexia, something many of my friends are still trying to wrap their head around.
I think everyone with a disability will have their own opinion of what the book and or movie expressed. I wasn't offended by it but can agree it wasn't a good idea to portray the lead character's life as how all disabled people's lives and attitudes will be. Like you said, there needs to be a film that comes out that follows an actual person's story who uses a wheelchair vs that of a fictional story so the public can get another perspective.
Well, Shit! That was eye opening. This video was tactful, informative and witty. I love that you challenge viewers to take closer look at missconceptions portrayed in "Me Before You." and in mainstream media. Way to go! I'll be sure to give this video a share so you can continue breaking down stereotypes by spreading knowledge and awareness.
Thank you. I've got more stuff coming soon. There is a whole world of stereotypes out there that I'm prepared to destroy.
As a non disabled person I hated 'me before you' the minute I read the review online. It's strips Disabled people of their dignity and tells them to just go die instead of being brave and living life to the full. This mentality is dangerous and needs to be put an end to.
Your video is so great and so inspiring to me! You articulate it so well and you being disabled yourself helps show it to and even further point. Thank you so much for what you do and for these videos online! You seem like such an amazing person!
You have no idea how much I am inspired! I can't wait for more videos!
Uhm that story represents one particular type of person. You can’t judge something based on others’ opinions. You need to make your own.
The book brings in other disabled characters' perspectives. Those disabled characters range from "It's a sh*tty situation, but I've managed to deal with it" to "If he really wants to die, you should let him" to "How can you say something like this, his life is still worth living!"
I think the film and book shouldn't approach Will from an ideological standpoint, but from an individual one. Will's entire life was about being active. He went from that to being bedridden and dependant on others in less than a day, so he became depressed. Depression kills.
"it's made by the non disable, for the non disable" the pure and simple truth
Try modifying the Bechtel test to disabled people:
- a disabled person
- talks to another disabled person
- about something, ANYTHING, other than an abled person.
It's eye-opening to look at media that way.
Then do it for queer characters, black characters, trans characters, native characters, etc...
I enjoyed the book but had no idea how offensive it was to those with these injuries. There's a lack of education for those of us who don't live with quadriplegia. To the best of anyone's knowledge, is there anything out there that's better researched? I'd love to read/watch it if so!
Girl I just saw a comment about intouchables, a french movie, and it's dope
Yes the intouchables is a beautiful movie
The Intouchables is a fantastic movie.
I love that movie
There's a more recent French movie by Grand Corps Malade called "Patients" which I found great, but the character in that is only temporarily tetraplegic, thanks to re-ed he can more or less walk again in the end.
After finishing this book in one day, (I read it without knowing the controversy or the plot) I NEEDED THIS VIDEO! I am so horrified by this book, I feel that I can’t go to sleep tonight without hearing all the logical arguments against it. SUCH a horrific message: the end left me stunned and disturbed. Thank you for sharing your perspective! What a relief to watch this video! 😊
In Britain, we Crips call the film "Me Before Euthanasia".
PageMonster I read that totally wrong, cuz the word Crip has a totally different meaning in America
I jumped.
*o o f*
Sheesh!
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Unfortunately I went to see Me Before You (because my friends wanted to see it) before I saw your video. What's worse is I think I was the only one in my group who left the movie asking a lot of questions you answered. Thank you for sharing. P.S. Aside from your insight you have great comic timing.
Wow, you're really charismatic! When I see video of someone new I don't know I usually don't watch the whole thing, but your conversation with yourself was so interesting, that I watched it all. Cool video, man!
Bruh i used to watch you girl! Take care ❤
god, i loved every second of this video and yes, i would also have oscar isaac babies
Paloma Cabrera Oscar isaac?
I feel like his foremost disability, "ruining his life", was depression
Thank you so much for this review! I am an able bodied person and a book reviewer here on UA-cam and I attempted to discuss the ableism of Me Before You in my review of it a couple of months ago. I searched and searched for reviews by people with disability where I could learn more about the representation in the book and back then I was only able to find two reviews aimed at the movie. I am so glad to see that the hashtag #mebeforeableism is now a thing, and to see more people speaking up about this book and movie. There were some aspects of the book that really connected with me (in the character of Louisa and her circumstances), but the portrayal of Will being just a prop to her life and her life being the one that deserved being "bettered" so infuriated me! I saw this without it being pointed out to me and have been quite alarmed that the majority of the book community hasn't seemed to. We all have different perspectives going into books, I don't mean to call anyone out for liking it, but I would love if more people examined it critically beyond just it being a "tearjerker."
I really appreciate this review and how informative you were on the book's flawed terminology, as I am still learning how to accurately talk about this book. I would love to share your video, and even link to it in the description of mine for people to have more information, if that would be ok?
James McMureter, I can't tell if you are responding to something you think I said or just chiming in to the conversation with another point (great conversation).
Thank you for your kind words, Between Chapters. Feel free to share!
You are a fantastic reviewer. This was so well spoken, informative, cited specific examples from the book, used a creative format, and the editing is great. I hope we'll see more from you. :)
More stuff coming soon. I promise. All of the new videos won't be reviews (some will), but I think (or hope) you'll like them.
I am really glad to hear that people who actually have C5/6 don't live the kind of life described in the book.Personally,I always think there's hope until we are alive and have the ability to think as a human being.Also I completely agree with James McMurter in the fact that disabilities need to be cured and I hope you will get more attention.
"F*&% you, Will Traynor!"
SOY LATINA Y TAMBIEN RENGO MI COLUMNA COMPROMETIDA, YA SOY DISCAPACITADA,PERO SIENTO QUE TODAS LAS FORMAS QUE EXISTEN EN EL MUNDO ,SI UNO ABRE SU MENTE ,NO SE TRATA DE UN CUERPO SE TRATA DE SER ,...........Y SI OLVIDAMOS CICATRICES ,CXIRUGIAS DE VARIAS HORAS, RESULTADOS DEVASTADORES Y TENEMOS LA OPORTUNIDAD DE ELEVARNOS ESPIRITUALMENTE .....ELIGE AMAR Y NO SACAR EN CARA LO QUE ES TUYO,EL OTRO NO TIENE PORQUE SOPORTARNOS ASI , Y SI PUEDES ENTENDER ESTO SERAS MISTERIOSAMENTE FELIZ....................DUELE,PERO YA NO SOMOS ESOS , ABRA TU CORAZON Y ENCONTRARAS LA VIDA BESO CARU
LOL, yes, I have to agree. XD
OMG dumbass it's a work of fiction get over your self
barb walker Yes a work of fiction...but a crappy one that sends out a very negative message! I cannot express how much I hated this fictional book!
what ever you obviously are disabled or worked with disabled people so you know everything about how you should feel when you are disabled you know That every one that has difficulties in life has to be perfect and not think of suicide when there seems no way out . go for it tell a depressed person they are stupid and offensive for considering suicide cause they are fed up with life . ideally every one would be saved but you live in La la land if you think this doesn't happen . some people are strong like Stuart Mangan some people are not strong hope you never have your life torn away from you. like Will did . was he selfish hell yes but that is part of human nature . i choose to agree to disagree with you on that one . i can tell you from my own experience you can appear happy on the outside and be sad and depressed on the inside.
As a person with a C4 Cord injury, I find the story line of "Me before you" offensive. I had to change my life some after my injury but I expanded my endeavors. Screw Hollywood's stereotypes, get your medical information right, depict us as we are and at least use an actor with a disability. They might actually give the viewer a true insight to spinal cord injury.
+
How is this offensive to you? I mean no offense of course but I'm just curious as to why so many people get pee'd off by this movie, I don't really think they're stereotyping at all, it's just this individual character
This book was written by an author, it was not first a hollywood screen plane
12Kyra121 duhh?
Sher Doxzon Well, but that's not the actors mistake. The movie is filmed according to the book... and do not you think if they would have use someone with an injury, could it be hard to filmed or it would not be as good as if real actors did not play?
plus, I think that something that is really important in the books and was excluded from the movie was the part where Lou starts talking with other disabled people, and they're all so full of life, and recommend activities for Will to do, and actually enjoy their lives, I think that just shows that people go through it differently
I have a disability and yet I love this movie. I understand how it could be misunderstood as a movie that puts negative light to people with disability, but it was pretty obvious that it's not the message it's trying to send. What the protagonist feels is more than just about his disability; it's something more deeper. If the movie wants to focus on disability alone, there could have been more scenes that show him not being able to do a lot of things by himself. In my opinion, the intended message of this movie is to show that in spite of all the resources that he has and the people that care about him, he doesn't want to be a burden to them. He loves the female lead enough that he has chosen to set her free knowing that she can accomplish so much more and take care of her own needs for the first time (because she has always put other people's needs first). It also wants to show us the importance of being able to make very important life choices on our own. Millions of people commit suicide and they're often judged because people feel that it's a very selfish act. What they don't see is the endless suffering these people go through every day. This movie honestly wants to open our minds to the importance of choice and communication. The protagonist communicated very well with his loved ones his plan to take advantage of assisted suicide and prepared them very well as to what's to come. He may have been on a wheelchair, but the same thing could be true and applicable to someone who's living his/her life in pain even without a physical disability. I know this for a fact because as early as 5 years old, I've been wanting to die, but I know that I'll be judged just like the protagonist is being judged for being self-centered and selfish. There's more to his decisions than simply being in a wheelchair. I believe that if assisted suicide or euthanasia would have only been available to those people who had already chosen to end their lives, the outcome would have been a lot different. And yes, if only the option to end my life with dignity is available to me, I wouldn't have to wake up every day feeling dead and extremely miserable. People will say that happiness is a choice, but you'll never understand how it feels to be me unless you go through the same pain that I experience every day. I hope that before we call this movie stereotypical, we widen our way of thinking first and not turn this into something that simply puts disabled people in a bad light because I don't think that's the intention when making this movie.
I have to say I agree with you... suicide is a choice... if someone does not want to live anymore who are we to judge? the only thing we can do is love them anyway... it may seem that such a choice is selfish... but we are also selfish wanting a person to live in a way they can't stand anymore...
Thank you...I truly appreciate that! There's nothing more painful than the emotional pain one experiences. The sad thing is that people always equate it to a mental illness which isn't the case. I hate to say this but I am a living dead; I may be physically alive but everything in me is dead. I did try everything but the outcome is the same...I just want to die! Thank you once again for your understanding. It means a lot to me!
Hi Nathan, how are you doing today?
I can accept that those whose physical situations are entirely hopeless might want to end their lives but what about someone who is perfectly healthy but depressed. Where do we draw the line? I could never accept the latter demanding assisted suicide.
@@bernardguynunns5658 when I posted this message, I wasn’t even diagnosed with ME/CFS and Fibromyalgia. Now that I’m suffering from it, the more I stand by my words in support of assisted suicide. I’m in my 40s but have been clinically depressed since I was 6 yrs old. You wouldn’t know the severity of one suffering from it until you’re in their shoes. Pain and suffering don’t end with the physical. Depriving people of their choice and dignity to finally end that suffering is cruel and selfish on your part!
I am able-bodied and I fucking HATED this goddamn book. I have never felt such RAGE over the death of a character before. Thanks for sharing!!
I love how not only are you talking about how bad this story is, but also explaining why it's bad and giving replacement phrases. This is just entertaining and informative all around.
Ha I freaking loved this video & your comic timing was perfect!! I am also a (part time) wheelchair user with a bunch of medical conditions & constant chronic pain and constantly feeling like I have to justify to people why I (gasp) LOVE my life, because of bullcrap like this. Thank you for making this video.
As someone who enjoyed this book, I've always wondered what someone with his injury would think about the story. I could see how a lot of the things were questionable, but didn't know a lot about the topic. You opened up my eyes to a lot of things I didn't notice before. Thank you so much!
Thank you so much for making this video! I'm an English teacher in Ukraine, and our English coursebook has a very problematic excerpt from the book (the scene where Lou and Will first meet). Me and my students live in a country where there are many more people with mobility problems now because of the war, missile strikes and landmines, etc. It's so important for us to interrogate these harmful ways of thinking, but the book doesn't push back at all. As extra homework, I gave them your video to watch and we will discuss it in our next class.
Thank you for making this video- I knew this story was bad in the way that it made disability seem like something worth dying over, but your added conversation about how the language used to describe Will was outdated and offensive was really enlightening. Thank you
Will says he doesn't do anything but exist because that's how he feels. I think he has severe depression and is someone who lost all his hobbies, his job and his girlfriend in the process. His family tiptoes around him and his heavy wheelchair sometimes makes it impossible to get to some places. He can't even shave himself, which is probably the least of things a man feels like he should be able to do. He gets sick all the time and has almost died a couple of times.
If anything, this book draws attention to the difficulties wheelchair users MIGHT face, especially in a world that is designed for people with four working limbs. The book doesn't tell the story of every single wheelchair user ever, it tells one story. Oh and they go to Will's ex girlfriend's wedding because the ex is getting married with Will's best friend. Oh and the horse-racing point. Have you been to british countryside on a rainy day? Even shoes get stuck in the mud, not to mention a heavy piece of equipment. The concert thing? He doesn't mean he's not a man because he's in a wheelchair, the word 'man' is just a synonym for 'person' in this context.
You completely discarded Lou's character. She completely, 100% accepts Will just as he is. She google's things she and Will could do together because he's depressed and depressed people benefit from friends doing things together. She took him on an expensive vacation because he's filthy rich and those kinds of trips were the kinds he did before his accident. She tries to bring normalcy back to his life. Lavish vacations might be alien to you but Will used to do that kind of trips ALL THE TIME, it's not super special to him, just normal. She doesn't take him there because it's the only way of comforting people in wheelchairs etc. And maybe she is a little naive, but so what? She's young and quirky/weird.
But I agree, the author should've done proper research and use the right termionology. His tattoo is stupid, and I also think that media should have more disabled people just as they are, and not making a huge thing out of it. (Same goes for mental disorders and speech impediments). However, it still doesn't mean basing the story line around the disability, disorder, impediment etc is unacceptable or bad. On the contrary, it's a great tool for making abled people aware of their environments and start advocating for more disability friendly places and events.
Also, as someone who's suffered from depression in the past, I feel like Will's story isn't even about the wheelchair; it's about his depression and suicidal feelings. The book/movie revolves around Will planning his own death! And it shows us that sometimes mental disease can be so vile and so severe that no amount of kindness, normalcy or love can always cure you.
There's one thing though, not mentioned in the video, and it's about the movie. I can't understand why they didn't choose a disabled actor for his role.
I think it was so they could show his life beforehand. When he was able to walk and such.
Movies actually rarely use people with certain “disease” or whatsoever to play the role of it, ever saw a cancer Patient plays the role? It’s so sensitive to do so
Well yes he was still depressed and unhappy learning his knew life and then killed himself, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times.
hi! i just found you. I'm one of those "horrifically suffering and disfigured" people with an ostomy...to whom people regularly say, "i'd rather be dead than live with a poo bag". every depiction i have ever seen on tv or media is negative. (except for all the awesome youtubers who regularly talk about their ostomies!! i really enjoyed your video. congratulations on the new house:)
Will traynor was depressed though. That's why he thought so negatively of himself and everything. That's how depressed people are.
But yeah. Some details are a little off.
And that's exactly why i hate the story. He just killed himself, he committed suicide. We shouldn't let peopel commit suicide, we should help them and give them hope.
Yes! I fully believe the story isn't even about the wheelchair, but about depression. How vile depression can be at its worst, and how others and their actions, no matter how kind and compassionate, can't cure you. Depression is a bitch and you shouldn't fight it alone, but if you're suicidal and feel fully worhtless, some kind words are likely not gonna make a difference, and sometimes even if someone does their everything (like Lou), it's still not enough to save you.
Well yes, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times.
@@marylancelot If an able-bodied person becomes depressed, their family wouldn't help them kill themselves...
as a wheelchair user, I don't hate the movie honestly.
I am in a wheelchair, I know some people who used euthanasia to die. I personally like my disabled live but it is hard to cope with sometimes. People should be able to get the right help and Will's mindset was kinda toxic. But I get that some people would choose to end it and that's their choice. Though I agree that the wording could've been better
I much prefer the unromantic version based on a true story, called "Les Intouchables" Great film, and I see much less problems with ableism there.
It's called "Intouchables", it's french and a great movie :) it looks much better than Me Before You...
I haven't watched me before you, but I think they're different stories...
oh okey ^^
Yes, they are slightly different. Intouchables is not a romantic story, but it is wonderful. I highly recommend it, I've watched it several times already :)
Ekaekto yes, it has some beautiful music tracks too ^^ I think this one includes romance besides other things.
This was beyond eye opening and I really appreciate this review, as someone who doesn't have to live with a disability I find myself lacking sufficient knowledge of the struggles/details of a lot of physical disabilities, therefor I unfortunately can't identify offensive or poorly done representation in mainstream media particularly well, so thank you for this so much, it has opened my eyes up to a whole new world of knowledge and has allowed me to be more understanding of disabilities and people with them!
I watched the movie and cried my eyes out at the ending. I didn't even think about all the problems it had.
Thankyou for your video. It's really eye opening.
The shame with the film is they cut out the online support group where the girl Louisa finds all this information out from other people with spinal cord injuries. That showed the positive side of people with disabilities. The book also explained the preparations Louisa had to do in terms of moving furniture and her dad building a ramp for Will to get in. It does make sense to me now that more had to be done like probably getting through the front door from the angle of the staircase that were right as you walked into her house would have been an issue. However, this all goes back to the movie making standpoint. Nothing on the silver screen is 100% accurate. They take liberties with everything and cut corners. I can imagine this can be frustrating and they should have done more to show the realism of this topic, but just like a lot gets cut out in movies, a lot is manufactured in the suspension of disbelief. Coming from someone who has no experience with people with disabilities, I didn't even think about this film or book being "ablest" but I've been watching these reviews from people in the community and it's opening my eyes a bit. The people who made this book and film had a great opportunity and missed a lot of avenues they could have taken to shed light on the topic. That being said, as someone who has no experience with the physically disabled community, I understood from reading, as it was presented more effectively, that Will was an odd case. In the beginning, he tried support groups, was willing to meet with other people with quadriplegia who were in his community, and had a good attitude. However, the moment he realized he wasn't going to get better, he was over it. Through the online support that Louisa gets to help aid Will the best she can, we learned that this was a typical wall that most people in the community have to get through and there were dozens of responses explaining how it could happen and the kind of life he could have. However, Will didn't want it no matter what. Again, in the book, it's explained how this is so frowned upon and all the options he had for a life, but Will was set. This is not the life he wanted. From my perspective, from someone who had a relative actually get humanely euthanized in the Netherlands, I didn't think this was a movie saying, "Oh yeah being disabled is worse than death." What it made me think was how sad that this one guy cannot see all the help available to him and all the life available to him. I know this is super long and I didn't mean for it to be, but I will say all in all, as someone from a very outsider perspective, I didn't take it the way I think people are assuming. That being said, videos like yours and the others I've been watching make me sad that people with disabilities weren't shown in the best light when they could have been considering the wide platform this film has. It did open my eyes though, as did your video, so thank you.
Holly Wood THANK YOU! The book treated the situation more delicately, the movie lacked that
Holly Wood i agree with you.
The thing is that the author does not tell the story as something that disabled people should do, it is a story of an individual person who just cannot accept his condition and just does not want to be a burden to his relatives (this is his point of view on the situation). We all have the right to make our own decisions.
Liliya R. It's honestly how I would react if I became permanently disabled. After my car accident back when i was 14 I was in a wheelchair for 8 months it was one of the lowest moments in life I couldn't take it anymore if i became physically disabled again but this time permanent. Suicide would definitely be something id consider and I absolutely hate to say it but it's true
I agree with you mostly. Although I can also see why the poorly done research can be INCREDIBLY frustrating for people who really have quadriplegia (I had to google the spelling lmao). As someone who's had depression and still has a form of autism, it's already irritating to see those things written poorly by people who don't know two things about it.
I think the problem is, like he said, that it's written by an able bodied person for able bodied people. The injury is seen as a nightmare scenario that makes up for good drama and emotional scenes, and a lot of the readers seem to agree. Some people actually live with this, and the fact that someone's profiting from using their condition (especially when not even knowing much about it) as a dramatic storyline is lame. If people think that a book, in which one of the main characters is literally defined by his disability instead of being an actual multidimensional individual is well-written, it's kinda dehumanizing towards people with disabilities.
If she wanted to tell a story where a guy just can't get over it, in this individual case, the book should've probably stressed the fact that Will had always been quite self-centered and shallow, and the romance should've also focused on the dysfunctional psychological setting between the two, because that would've been the main issue. (I haven't read the book, though, so I'm basing everything I know on this video and what I've read about the plot online)
MagicSetback You don't have to be shallow to choose death over permanent paralysis.
The problem is that this is the ONLY THING MOST ABLE BODIED PEOPLE SEE ABOUT US. I kid you not, people who knew me for years started sending me messages after this movie came out saying sh!t like "I just saw me before you and I understand what you're going through SO MUCH BETTER now!" and trying to tell me that my life was worth living (despite showing no indication that I thought otherwise).
I work in a disability representation program for schools and SO many kids and teachers tell us they would rather die than be like us. what happens then if they do become like us? statistically it's likely that at some point they will (old age, accidents, illness etc). this "sad cripple" story is all they know about us.
what dose "I don't want to be a burden on my loved ones" tell a person who goes and sees this movie who might still be adapting to their life in a wheelchair? it tells them they are a burden because outside of his family and Lou, there is nothing to tell him he's not, just complication after complication. there's nothing in the story to my knowledge that balances it all out, or indicated that this was only one person's story. to the average observer who knows nothing about disability, Will represents everyone in a wheelchair.
And yes, I am aware depression can mess with your head and make even good situations seem horrible, but listen to the reviews this film got. that's not what people thought he killed himself for. they think he killed himself because "he'll never be as good as he was" which is completely untrue. The guy was a sportsman, you can still play sport in a wheelchair. the guy was a "ladies man" and very sexual, I know guys who sleep with more women in a weekend trip away than most men can in a month.
You adapt. You learn. You grow. this movie and book showed none of that. That's why people are upset with it.
Fayanna Rena 8 months is not long enough to truly adapt to life in a chair so it makes sense that it was a low point for you, it would be crazy to expect the first 8 months to be a good picture of a whole life with a permanent disability. It takes years to adapt. it's hard but it gets easier with time. being a teenager dose impact that as well (teenagers in particular tend to struggle with disability). I've been in a wheelchair my whole life and it's really not that bad once you lean your way around things properly. but learning takes time.
Eye opening! I’m writing my final project about this movie and thanks to this video I have a really good thesis statement 🙏🏻⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Thank you for this video! I got recommended the book on goodreads and I found it to be the most morally bereft book I've ever read. His suicide is treated as some sort of triumph of spirit instead of a tragedy. And everyone's life is better with him dead? Lou gets money. His dad finally gets to leave his marriage and live with his mistress. So...yay? And Will misses his life being a blackberry addicted adrenaline junkie so much he commits suicide? His family was toxic. He was toxic. Louisa was too cowed by their money and intelligence to really speak up effectively. The mental health system failed him. I understand the value of medically assisted suicide. But this was not a case where it was called for. For those who have lost a loved one to suicide this book is a slap in the face. It didn't have to end happily. But it sure shouldn't have glorified his choice. I'm glad I read a library copy instead of buying it.
Somebody in the comments brought it up, but pre-sustained-injury Will wouldn't have given Lou the time of day.
@@reikun86 he had a completely flat character arc. The 1st scene set him up as someone completely obsessed with superficial success. He lost that (in his own eyes) couldn't deal with it, learned nothing from it and died. If his character setup had been different it maayyyyybe could have made sense. The author ignored her own narrative arc in favor of a gimmick.
@pinyao1 exactly
His choice wasn't glorified. The book deals with a lot of thinking about pros and cons. "Not a case where it was called for"- that's for the individual to decide.
Thank God this video exists. I finished the movie. And for a moment I was in shock, but then I was FURIOUS. I searched and searched online to find out if anyone else was as angry as I was. I did find some, but not many. I'm so glad I found this. Watching all my feelings about the book said out loud makes me feel like I'm not silly for hating the book/movie.
Thank you.
The fact that the movie/book doesn’t represent you, it does not mean it doesn’t represent others! Even if it represents 0.0001% of the disabled community! My uncle (who I loved like a father) got both legs amputated because of his severe diabetes and was confined to a wheelchair for the last two years of his life. Sorry if the word “confined” offends you but it’s the correct word to use in his situation. He couldn’t afford the type of chair you have nor any of the tools you use to make your life easier. We had to carry him to the toilet which was very humiliating for him. He spent most of those 2 last years in hospitals and dialysis centers. 3 months before he died due to kidney failure, he told me he wanted to die. This movie talks about a guy that is profoundly depressed. Someone that needs somebody else to do absolutely everything for him. Someone who is getting weaker and who’s health is declining. It is not about you, buddy! I’m really sorry about what happened to you, and I’m glad you were able to move forward and appreciate the positive aspects of being alive, but not everyone feels the same way. Lou and the parents in the movie represent all of us who have gone through the heartache of knowing that the one we love, doesn’t want to stick around, doesn’t want to fight anymore, doesn’t want to feel sick any longer. You seem like a wise man. Show some respect for the others who are not as strong as you are. Best wishes!
I was thinking that while watching this.
As someone who suffers from depression I gotta say it's pretty dumb that he just focus on the disability and how he's got it good now to say it's stupid.
I'm able bodied, I have a loving family, I have plenty of money, hell I don't even have to work! but I have constant suicidal thoughts and have tried twice.
I have nothing to complain about, most people would call me stupid because my life is so perfect and yet I just feel like I feel nothing!
He complains that people don't understand disability but he seem to be the one who doesn't understand depression to that level. I'm not sure what I would feel if I suddenly had this happen to me, but my best bet would be my ass at dignitas in a week or two. If my current state of mind is anything to go by.
Dani this is a little off topic, but i can relate so much to what you said; nothing truly bad has ever happened to me, my life is good, I have a loving family, friends, I have a home, food - but still... everything feels so incredibly heavy and I think the worst part about it is that you compare yourself to people who have it much worse than you and you are ashamed of the darkness that surrounds you when actually your life is full of light. It's like you hate yourself so much that you're not even able to grant yourself permission to feel sad.
RIGHT? Even watching this, it's like he is saying well, look at me I have pretty tough and I never though to go through with killing myself. Which makes it so unfair to those of us who suffer from mental issues. They might not be the loss of the ability to walk but they do include the loss of the will to live or even get up and do anything.
That is also valid.
But it's looked down upon by this guy just because he has it worst (in his opinion).
Trust me, I wish I had his mental strength but it doesn't work that way. If people telling me that being grateful for what I have and looking at others that have less worked I wouldn't have to take pills, go to therapy and it certainly would mean not having my mother be on suicide watch for months forcing me to take a bunch of pills just to keep my brain from going to really dark places.
Trust me hun I get it and just because he has a physical disability doesn't mean that what we have is just a plot point. And even that comment of "going ton vacation is not how you help them"
Tell that to my mum, who put so much into a trip to Europe and made it so good that for a moment she had me thinking that life might sometimes be worth living just for those wonderful moments. At least it got me to take my pills right?
Suicidal people can use things like that as motivation to make it through the day or even the next hour.
I understand where you're coming from, but thats still not an excuse to create an ableist book and movie. Yes, it is important to write narratives for the people who are depressed and live with disabilities, but that can only be done respectfully and successfully when there are already multiple narratives of people with disabilities living happy lives as well.
There are barely any movies with people with disabilities in the main cast, let alone as the main character, so if the first movie that you create is one where the person with a disability wants to die, what are you telling the audience? Basically, that their lives are not worth living due to their disability.
That's without even mentioning that they used an actor who was able-bodied in a movie based on a book created by an able-bodied person. If you want to create a narrative to describe a minority, at least recruit people of that minority in the process.
That is the stupidest thing I have ever read
So in order to be a good person and not be criticized you need to follow some type of formula in how inspiration strikes you and it HAS to b about a happy disabled person first, after that go right ahead and write about the depressed one?
This woman is not JK Rowling, she had no idea her book was going to do well and become a best seller. She had no idea it was going to be made into a film a few years down the line. How was she supposed to plan for her future success and how people see it? How was she to plan to be made an example of?
Furthermore, they really gloss over other details in the book. Like that the guy is super depressed because of what he had in every sense of the word; his ability to walk, his friends who all sort of left him behind after the accident and the fact that his former faience now was going to marry his best friend. The guy was down and they kicked him harder.
He was depressed and those around him did nothing to help him. As I said, some of us are not able to get over things the way others do. Nt everyone is as strong willed and has such a strong personality, I tell you this because I am one of those people. We have real life examples of people who are incredibly strong, like the man in this video, but making a depressed character sound like it's the worst thing in the world is rude to those of us who battle with the urge to end it all on a daily basis. Ever thought of it that way?
Thank you. As a person born with kidney disease and sustaining spinal cord injury at L5/6 I was seriously offended by this book. I have no time for anyone who sees me as simply disabled. Anyone who defined me as such is out my life. Will was a total hypocrite, life was worth living, except for him of course.
Does it bother you when someone suggests a film or movie to you only because one of the characters is a Person with a Disability?
I'm an able bodied person and I absolutely hated the book!!! To me it put out a very negative message that anyone with a disability basically had no life and had the right to just off themselves. Not only did I hate it but it made me angry, especially when I think about people with disabilities who not only still make the most of life but also do great things to help and encourage others in the same situation. To me it was a slap in the face to people that may face difficulties because yes life has changed, but they remain optimistic and appreciate life,! As they should!
It's not illegal to "off yourself" and it's totally the right thing that people who are suffering have the option.
But I still definitely don't like how this book portrays the situation.
Thanks for sharing. I thought Will's desire to end his life was partly because of the extreme pain: stomach ulcers; frequent infections; even slight bumps on sidewalks made him wince; frequent burning sensation; pneumonia; he knew his breathing etc would keep getting worse. Seems like these effects are not typical in spinal cord injuries. But maybe his condition was more complicated.
I'm inspired by your story and understand the anger against the stereotype. Best wishes!
A. I loved Me Before You (for some reason), and while I still appreciate the writing, I now understand how the plot and characters are offensive. So thank you!
B. The way you said "Mother of Dragons" made me cackle.
This was really interesting and informative
"It's the mother of dragons!" I was laughing so hard at your delivery. Loved this review and all your direct quotes :)
Having worked in home care, I was IMMEDIATELY alarmed when the trailer promised a caregiver-patient love story - which goes against EVERYTHING I've ever learned in my job. So I actually never saw the movie, for this very reason. Now I'm glad I didn't, having heard how ableist it is. Thank you so much for this video. It's great that you're informing us about using people-first language!
I found your video after finishing the book and I needed to see this. I went into this story with people around me telling me it was amazing and so sad and beautiful, so I wanted to like it. However, something felt wrong while I was reading, and I couldn’t quite place my finger on what bothered me so much until I finished it. It seems like the spinal cord injury was just a plot device in creating this depressing narrative of “life isn’t worth living anymore like this” which made me uncomfortable as an AB person, I can’t even imagine how it would feel to see that narrative as a disabled person. This story could have educated AB people about the negative stigmas surrounding disabilities and show the world that a disability is not a nightmare. I’m terrible at expressing my thoughts, but you did a wonderful job. This video is well done and in my opinion perfectly describes the problem with this book/movie.
I love your username. I found your videos in my recommended list and it it says "Just Happened To Be Recommended For You". So beautiful!
Your comments on the medical side of this are absolutely fair, but you cannot know how a person’s mental state is affected by their disability, or what is or isn’t realistic for a person with an injury like yours to say. Not everyone can eventually overcome their new challenges. Not everyone looks at their chair as a tool. For some that peace may never come. Depression is a very real thing, my only critique in this storyline is that perhaps the author should have put more emphasis on his mental state rather than his physical state.
Also, the right to die with dignity is not something that should be considered “controversial.” It is something we give our pets, but our human loved ones must suffer until they die naturally? Will Traynor was sick beyond his spinal injury, factual or not. People who are suffering with painful illnesses should be able to choose how their life ends.
It was there fact that they glorified it and made it seem line it was good that he died
Swiss does not allow assisted suicide to kill people that dealing with depression or other mental health issues, else that would be charged as murder. You have to have a terminal illness and at a state that makes living impossible. You have to pass from doctors that do check if there really is no hope or treatment out there for you, depression although hard is curable, you have to visit a special psychiatrist that walks and talks you and your family and loved once through the progress. It makes me mad because this book sends a terrible message, not just about mental illness and people that face some challenges and limits, but also makes assisted suicide to look like a joke and an easy way out, it's not, and messages like this make it hard to keep it legal and open so really suffering people have the possibility to end their live in dignity in a circle of love and ease.
It's like glorifying abortion as only possible birth control, and then wondering why people are mortified and find it horrible? Abortion is necessary and needs to be legal, so should assist suicide be, but only under the right circumstances
Cookie THANK YOU. 🙌🏻
Well yes he was depressed and unhappy learning his knew life and then killed himself, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times
Would you like a book that's waxing on about the tragedy of being a woman, how terrible it is that she's plagued by her inherent femaleness, how such a great mind is unfortunately wasted inside a body that makes it completely unable to act rationally, how her inherent weakness and emotional fragility make it impossible for her to do anything but sit in a well-sheltered place, away from the cruel world she's obviously too fragile and angelic to ever face such things as *gasp* voting.
No?
Really not?
But it's just about this one woman who just happens to fit all those stereotypes !111!!!
If not, maybe stop talking over disabled people and telling them that they aren't allowed to point out how damaging the perpetuation of such stereotypes is because, surprise, you're not disabled and thus a really poor judge of what is a problem for the disabled community and what isn't.
Hint: disabled people being murdered because "It's better to be dead than disabled" IS a pretty big and widespread problem.
I'll admit i was sobbing at the end of the movie, but there was something that seemed very off about the portrayal of wheelchair users. As someone currently in the process of a depression diagnosis, the rep of that also didnt sit quite right, especially with the ending. Thank you for educating people on this topic!
Personal choice is very important. I believe everyone has a right to live or die. I would choose death over paralysis. However, I do not expect anyone else to share my viewpoint. Just give me the freedom to make my own decision. The character in the book shares my POV.
This is great. I will be the first to admit that one of my biggest fears in life has been to become disabled - just like you said, I always thought I would rather die than to sustain a disability. You have changed my mind on that, a 100%.
I saw the movie and was confused about the backlash because people constantly complained about "When are we going to get a character who is depressed that doesn't magically get fixed by getting a spouse?" and I thought that Me before You delivered that? He had a "good" life but becoming a wheelchair user didn't satisfy him and gave him depression. The girl then gives him some enjoyment in his life but he's still depressed and wants to die. I don't know, that's my "ablest"(?) perspective I guess...
maybe I just related to the sadness too much. I remember when I had the love of my life and although she mad me the happiest I ever was, I was still sad and attempted suicide, having to stay in the hospital overnight. If the author constructed the research a bit more, would the book/movie be better?
I totally agree. This book was written as a story, not a self-help book to spread an encouraging message. Unfortunately, there are many people in the world who have the same mindset as the main character and have killed themselves because of their disability. That’s the reality of it. Is the author saying that it’s okay? No. Is the author saying all disabled people feel this way? No. But to say it depicts disabled people in a bad light is not completely accurate. This story isn’t about you, this is someone else’s reality.
+A Turtle The reply to "When are we going to get a character who is depressed that doesn't magically get fixed by getting a spouse?" shouldn't have been; "No, you're not enough. *kills self*" ...it should've been about a guy (or a girl) taking the steps to getting well without romantic love having anything to do with it. Because love from another person obviously doesn't fix depression.
If the author wanted to write a book about the right for people to take their own lives she shouldn't have used quadriplegia, she should've used a disease that eventually would've killed him anyway.
Well yes he was depressed and unhappy learning his knew life and then killed himself, but unfortunately this is the only kind of story we get in movies and TV about people using wheelchairs. It just perpetuates the mainstream ideas by the rest of us that being in a wheelchair is the worst nightmare ever and there's no hope in sight. The writer wasn't brilliant or thoughtful when writing this story, it's only been copied about a hundred times
I haven’t watched me before you because I heard about the ending. My dad lived a full life of 35 years with one leg, he didn’t think I should just kill my self because life isn’t worth it.
He had 3 kids post leg loss and built a great business and had decades with the love of his life, life was worth it.
well this is the best thing ever
I haven't read the book but I saw the movie and really loved it.
But after watching your video I am so aware of what a messed-up representation it was and the negative messages it sends about living life with a physical disability.
Thank you for making this video and bringing this to the attention of people who do not have the insight and knowledge that you do! So eye-opening! Thank you!
I respect your views, and I have the utmost respect for disabled people. It might sound crazy, but I'm sure the movie was purely for Hollywood and didn't care for disabled people's realities. Sad to say, that's how money works in the movie industry.
It's based on a book and the author also wrote the script and didn't want the ending changed,Having saw the movie,it's mentioned several times what Will wants to do is wrong,the lead female even does everything she can to get him to see life is worth willing,to get him to change his stubborn mind,it's not in your face that you should end it all if your in a wheel chair for life,it's taken from one guys perspective,one guys life,I have had loved ones in a wheel chair for life and they had days they wished they could die,that they weren't a burden,I never saw them as that and I would never think assisted suicide is ok,it's terrible,but like I said the book and film is from the perspective of one person,I imagine everybody in a wheelchair either has the same feelings or a different feeling.
the movie is not for dissabled people that is not totally completely paralyzed. This character is totally misserable since he cannot really do anything anymore. What do you do if you cannot even hold anything ? If you compare it to others, he cannot do anything anymore. While as others can still do things since they can move their hands and arms. Plus not all dissabled people have money or support, some are poor they cannot afford help or nurse or anything so they will really want to die. And even with money, it is emotional and mental torture to not be able to do anything and to move anything. feels like Your soul is lock inside your body, imagine what it feels like if you are tied to a chair for the rest of your life, and you can';t move anything but your head. The complainers here are not the same situation so they keep complaining about the movie and will say there is still life being dissabled, FUCK you can move that's why you can say that, your hands and arms are moving. Try to check the people that are in the same situation, many of them wants to die. I suggest to those who keeps complaining to check the ones that are really in the same situation I mean SAME and see if they are happy.
I really enjoyed the movie....
That's not crazy, that's being realistic about it.
Of course they didn't think of disabled people, at best disabled people are props for them and we certainly are never seen as "close enough" to being people to be thought of, well, ever.
Unless it earns money, of course. If you can paint a tragic picture to get people to donate to you and line your pockets with that, then disabled people suddenly exist*.
*In this case referring to Autism $peaks, but I'd be surprised if there weren't more questionable organizations like that.
Thanks for this. My wife is a wheelchair user. Sometimes life seems like one long struggle against the sort of attitudes portrayed in "Me Before You". It's refreshing to find your review and in style!
Yes so so good Dan! I am a C6 quad and detest this film as well. #preach
I can't believe this is the first video of yours on UA-cam. So well prepared and amazing edited. I also fall in the way you interpret the idea.
OH YIKE. I am so glad I never saw it! Even the language used is pretty awful. My mobility aids are just that, they aid me and make my life better?? Just woooow. Everything about that is saying that people who are disabled aren't real people...? [BLINKING WHITE MAN GIF]
Sophia Neilsson.. Yeah I still find it very hard to understand why able bods see my wheelchair as such a negative thing.
I waited some time to get a good one, and it's made such a difference to my independence.
Plus u get to go fast on wheels again (I used to speed every day on my pushbike. Ex courier).
I see my wheelchair as an unusually shaped go kart. And I ride it like one too 😎.
Actually its an amazing movie if you actually saw it. It gave me chills and warmed my heart too. A lot of people love it because its pretty unique and original also it kinda has the same feeling after you watched the titanic which I love and I know it is offensive but the way it made me feel is just extraordinary
Thank you for such an informative and helpful video! And thank you for presenting in a friendly, non-aggressive way, which I think was really helpful as it meant people really understood the issues with the book and didn't become too defensive. I look forward to your other videos soon!
Have you seen Les Intouchables? It is also about a carer and a man with a disability. I really enjoyed it, its a really heart warming story where both characters learn a lot about life through their bond. But, then again, I don't have a disability, so I'm not really sure if there is anything problematic... maybe you could watch it and review it?
That was a true story
Nicely done. As a fellow filmmaker with a spinal cord injury, I commend you on tackling this issue! Hollywood needs to create stories that accurately reflect the lives of individuals with disabilities. This includes hiring actors with disabilities rather than non-disabled talent. While portraying the part of a person with a disability might be popular among the able-bodied acting community, it is quickly becoming the modern day equivalent of "black face". Disability should and must be accurately represented in the media. Kudos for your video.
Not everyone is the same 🤷🏻
Exactly, I personally loved this movie. But maybe if I was a wheelchair user I’d feel differently about it.
If I could, I would like & share this endlessly. I'm so glad I saw this. The line where you said "it was made by the non-disabled for the non-disabled & caters to the non-disabled" struck a chord in me. It completed messed me up. It was such an eye-opener Wow. This video was wonderful.
"A lot of people would rather die than be us" That made me sad because you seem just like everybody else. You're videos are really binge-worthy too
i loved it so much.
expected the usual clickbait "video essay" rant but was so pleasantly surprised. loved this narrative with two yous that talk about each other as one person, as "us", it made for amazing jokes and exchanges :)
Love your review!... the little dash of sarcasm makes it one of the most fun film/book reviews I’ve heard in a long time!
I have spent most of my life correcting people using offensive language when it comes to mental health conditions... yet when I watched this film I saw nothing wrong... thank you so much for making this video and reviewing this. I can’t believe I didn’t see how disturbingly offensive this film actually was, I don’t think I was thinking that it was discriminatory while watching it, but after your review I can’t unsee. Brilliant ending summary as well, interesting to hear! Thank you!
thank you so much for this video!! Just today I uploaded a video about my thoughts on the novel but you of course bring much more eloquence than I could, I immediately linked your video. So much criticism on this novel that I found was by able bodied people, so this perspective is much needed and appreciated.
For the longest time I totally bought into this movie because of the pretty packaging but this opened my eyes completely. This video was not only clever, well made, and engaging, but extremely important. I'm definitely going to send this to all my friends.
As someone who is an amputee with other injuries, I liked this movie. It made me feel less alone in how I feel about how my life has been destroyed.
i dont fricking know how you can make this conversation with yourself yo natural. I love it! great acting
Excellent video presentation, Dan. Keep 'em coming!
that's an amazing video!!
I've seen many people online complaining about it - as well as many who loved the movie/book.
and it's amazing to see a critique from someone who is actually disabled, and honestly shares their opinion and experiences. it's wonderful that you made this video and I hope you make more like this. love from Austria!!
This was amazing! Thank you for this great review, I hate when books that perpetuate stereotypes get insanely popular and give birth to movies that perpetuate stereotypes. Your review was lighthearted but insightful!
Interesting to see it from the point of view of someone who would understand it much better than me. When I read it I loved the book and always just saw Will putting himself down as he was depressed about having a lifestyle change and just never let himself grow from it and keep living in a different way. But I enjoyed this new POV you gave me.
Very important points made but here is my sole deduction from the plot. Will was depressed. These things happen, some just can't cope and it goes downhill.
YOU TELL 'EM! this completely opened my eyes
I don't see how it was offensive. The story clearly states that many people with similar disabilities are happy and fulfilled, just not this particular man. Also why Dignitas controversial? It offers a valuable service to people in need. Just because some people with quadripeglia such as this lovely dude experience joy and lead a purposeful life does not mean that is the case for anyone.
My thought too. We all make different choices. No wonder Clark was told just to love him and respect his choice. Its a sad movie mixed with some happy moments the man on the wheelchair choose to take.
But this story doesn't need to exist. A non-disabled person did not have to write a story about a person with a disability who chooses to die because of how much he hates being disabled. It would be fine if it was a true story but since it is a fictional story that does not have to exist or be told in the way that it was, people are allowed to criticize the narrative it spreads. Rewatch the bit at 11:54 because I think it really sums up what the problem is.
@@frances9975 isn’t it based on a real life story tho?
Well then watch the video again, ableist genius
@@frances9975this is honestly so pathetic. People are allow to choose what they want to watch. Just like they're allow to decide if their quality of life is so diminished after a paralyzing accident that they would rather exit early
I did not stop to think about how the vocabulary and mainly the plot would affect the disable community. This has been open minding, thank you so much for this video.
I just watched this video and then got sad because it is your only video. I wasn't really planning on seeing that movie anyway, but I am glad I now better understand why it is such an offensive, ableist movie.
There is absolutely nothing offensive about this film .It is a beautiful film beautifully acted by two talented people.Besides no one will miss you not seeing it as it is a hit.Not everyone in a wheel chair has exactly the same disabilities, or suffers the same pain as the character in the film. For him it was not bearable that's all. His choice.
+bluewren Reilly
For you it wasn't, but they way they portray disabled people was. Movies like this might teach or influence someone to think that disabled people are "miserable". This movie doesn't empower disabled people, it just makes people "pity" them more. Disabled people don't want your pity, they just want respect.
He's uploaded a couple more videos since this one
i’m a big fan of the conversation format, it answers a lot of questions before i even ask them. awesome stuff!
Please continue making content on youtube! I found your writing and acting to be very clever, informative, and funny.
More stuff coming soon. It won't all be reviews, but I think you'll like it. I promise.
+Just Happen To Be if you continue to match the quality of this video, I can guarantee my approval
Hi Justhappentobe. AZ Chapman sent me here. Beep beep beep to you! Happy 13th anniversary. "So many things have happened - we got married; we have a Master's degree; we have a van we can drive"!
An ordinary life is as well celebrating as any other. So we all celebrate. I celebrate you.
I saw the movie this evening unsure as to whether it would (in my opinion) represent disability in a way that would prevent me from walking out especially considering all of the negative reviews. While I am not a quadriplegic, I do have multiple neurological conditions. I was pleasantly surprised to find that this was one of the best movies that I have ever seen on the topic of life with a disability. It does not state that life with a disability is not worth living, but rather it shows a man who could acknowledge that he had a good (current) life but he could not deal with knowing what he had "lost" or the concept that the love of his life may one day resent him. The movie never attempts to show disability in general, but rather the individual experiences of one man. One of my favorite aspects was that it showed the necessity of treating someone as their own person rather than what you would like them to be. Honestly, if he had had his mind changed, I would feel as though it was removing his ability to make a decision for his own life.
You gave me some new insight. I totally lost this negativ point because I was looking out for excuses for such drastical decisions like his neverending series of illnesses and pain that could make anybody go crazy but in the end Will himself admits it is because of the disablity and he does not mention the pain as much as the psychological trauma he suffered in contrast to his old life. So thank you for the insight and this bittersweet taste for maybe a more disturbing story I did not understand.
i watched the movie and liked it. i never thought about it in this way. i’m not sure how i feel about it now. thank you for opening my mind to this pov.
Hey thank you so much for putting the time and effort into this video. While I am disabled I do not have the same disability as you and do not know much about spinal injuries. The book's premise infuriated me as my aunt used a wheelchair for cerebral palsy. She was never "confined" to her wheelchair.
Hey Dan (I'm assuming from your Instagram handle that's your name?),
would you maybe be interested in doing a video on what you thought of "Les Intouchables"? I would love to know your thoughts on it.
Pers Godiva Yeh his review of this film reminded me of that, albeit it’s obviously a lot shitter by the sounds of it.
i loveee that movie. there is nothing bad to say about it really in my opinion though?
I read the book a few years ago and didn't think much of it. I've never met or talked to anyone with quadriplegia so I wasn't familiar with any of the points you made. But I am so glad I saw this, it really put everything in a different light. Great review!
As a singer, actor, wheelchair user from birth, I grant that disability is an individual experience. I'm not going to debate that issue, as it's been done rather well here. I do however want to know, with what other minority, could you get away with this?!! An author who is not herself disabled, writing from the only perspective she can, that of sudden, imagined, disability. Written, through a prism of fear, as all things unknown to us are. Combine that, with an actor who is also not disabled, crippen up for the camera, to once again, imagine or aproximate, our truth. It doesn't have to be the truth, as long as it fits the dominant ableist societal narrative. If it is decided, that you gave good on sreen gimpage?? Awards, recognition, & career advancement follow. These roles are coveted for that reason. Incase ya missed it, lets go over the take away. Cripp Face is common place & accepted. The reality of disabled life & experience is of no interest to the people churning out this crapp, & this, is accepted as our reality!! That, is a neat fuckin trick!! We are nowhere in this equasion.
KelliViti you are a wheelchair user from birth? Damn you were a strong baby 😁
Some of the best books were written with main characters which held identities which authors did not have direct perspective on. Take J K Rowling for example, she wasn't a boy or a wizard
However, I will give you that one of the best books I've ever read which focusus on disabilities was My Left Foot by Christy Brown
So I get why often, the author being able to pull from their own experiences, is the best situation.
However, I don't think people should be limited in what kind of characters an author can choose to write about
You must be painfully narrowminded if you think an author has to directly experience what their character does in order to produce a worthwhile story and message. That's fiction sweetie, if it's too hard for you to grasp then maybe you should stick to instragram
If the author is writing about someone experiencing something they personally have not, they need to, well, actually do some fucking research.
That goes doubly for minorities you're not a part of.
Thank you for making this video. The points you made were things that I had not realized at the time I watched that movie. This kind of content is great for helping able bodied people understand how certain content and misinformation is detrimental.
I'm really bad at making what i think in my head come out write on line, so I'm sorry if I say anything offensive because that is truly not my intention. I do not think that this is a perfect book or movie at all, and there are many flaws, mostly to do with the finite details of his condition. But most people generally do not know the exact terminology when it comes to paralysis (I certainly don't), and I think most people would do well to just look past the little mistakes with that because I don't agree that it should impact the actual story that was developed. I do believe that the main basis of the story was choice. It was Will's choice to go through with that, and whether or not it was right it doesn't matter because it was his. And the reason why it could be perceived as offensive is because there is so few films or books about a person with a disability, that the only one that is well known also contains themes of euthanasia, which i understand is really not great. I think the problem mostly lies with just how little there is portrayed about disability in media, because if there were plenty of stories involving disability, this one would just be one that contains some extreme ideas, and several technical mistakes regarding the disability.
Helena Hartwig-Costello will
This was such a great video and I think you did an excellent job! Great work and using your voice to call out the BS. Discussions like this will open people's eyes and pave the way for a much better and authentic stories to be written.
Hey. I just wanted to say that I fully appreciate your effort and the substance and research that went into this arguement against Me Before You. You have educated me and opened my eyes to your perspective even if I don't fully agree. I actually like Me Before You, but I also completely stand by you on the offence and ableism of how the story unfolds and how the characters are portrayed. Wherever I stand on this argument, whether it's for or against or totally inbetween, a smart person can entertain an idea without fully accepting it. And that is a lesson I learned from you along with empathy and understanding. Thank you so much for opening my eyes towards this and I can't wait to see more of your content. Have a great day -Ash :)
As a disabled person since my illness began in 2008, I think this video is brilliant !
The movie in my opinion wasn't offensive. It was told from the perspective of a person with quadraplegia and their choice not to go on. The movie never suggested people with paralysis or disabilities should die, cannot live full lives or have sex. This was the choice of one man..period. We have the right to live and die as we choose. Personally i wouldn't have given them six months if it were me. It was a good movie but sad because like his character pointed out he could've still had a good life but he chose it wasn't for him.
Thank you for this review! Also, the back and forth format really worked for me. Really enjoyable watching