For those asking... Even though people with ASPD don't usually "feel" emotions, they can still have the Desire to feel, cognitive empathy (which is very powerful), and still care for others in an objective manner. They may "love" someone through objectively admiring their traits and enjoying how they interact with that person. It is in a different way, but that admiration is still very real. As for lying... it's a mixed bag. It's very personal to the person and their diagnosis. But it isn't fair to just assume that nothing a person with ASPD says is true. They Are still people. You can't just dehumanize someone because of a mental illness out of their control.
Please please please comment this exact thing on Shane's video! I have loved ones that are sociopaths and it's very clear that they can feel their own feelings through cognitive empathy. They aren't human robots like they're made out to be in Shane's video. Everyone's individual personality plays such a huge role in how sociopathy presents itself in that person.
Me too! One of my closest friends is a schizophrenic sociopath, and I hate that just the title terrifies people. It breaks my heart for her and all other heavily stigmatized disorders
@@Emily-jx9ru yeah it's honestly so disheartening that heavily stigmatized disorders make it automatically okay to write off someone as completely inhuman. Is the saying not 'to err is human'? Because in that respect mental disorders make you even more human...idk.
I’m glad this video exists. It clears up a lot of misconceptions that Shane’s video had. I’m glad you made it known that it’s on a spectrum and that there’s varying degrees of empathy and relationships that sociopaths have.
Luci's Videos it's a shame really, because it dehumanised all people with that disorder, and really doesn't show that not all of them have it in such extremity that they would want to hurt/kill people
@@farlandergirlyeah, I was super weirded out by how the therapist was portraying the topic, and how colloquial she was speaking about it. I don't wanna hate on her or anything, but it just didn't really sound scientific to me at all, regarding the fact she studied this, and is working in this field. But maybe she just wanted to make it more understandable for Shane, and it just kind of went in the wrong direction.
Luci's Videos I think it was more of a discussion about it for her because they weren't in her office having an official session, so what she was saying was a bit more opinion based, but shane really didn't make that clear at all, instead making it seem like all o the things she was saying were official facts which kinda annoys me tbh
Hi i’m actually Iris’s friend and she’s quite a lovely person. if you came here from shane to hate, kindly leave. Iris is wonderful and she talks about stuff like this to educate people.
I've watched this video twice and two things have become apparent to me: 1. A lot of the symptoms of ASPD make a lot of sense when you view them as a poor coping mechanism arising from trauma 2. The label 'functioning' really is just a measure of how useful you are to society
Much of the time it comes down to what you got found out for. If anyone know half the shit I did as a teen i'd be in prison. Now I work in business and Finance.
This is so helpful! It cleared up a lot of misconceptions from Shane’s video especially with the difference from sociopathy and psychopathy. It’s super educational from someone with first-hand experience. I’m really glad you made it clear that it’s a spectrum and not just black and white
lauchzwiebel how? The therapist in Shane’s video made it seem like they literally can’t empathize at all. Where as in this video she brought up that it’s (for her and I’m sure thousands of others) is somewhat circumstantial. There’s a few other examples she in this video but you get the point.
emma jayne she didn’t get the list off the internet.. she was using the DSM-5, the universal guide for diagnosing mental disorders. All clinicians use it.
Jill Marie I’m not saying that he did, I just wanted to watch it to get a better insight. I’m not saying he did it in an ill willed way like most of the people in the comment section
Wow just found this, my mental health team thinks I may have ASPD, and you made it sound so much less horrible than the rest of youtube, and made it easier to understand! Thank you :) (I know this video is a year old so you probably won't see this!)
Hey! I've also been diagnosed with ASPD, Bipolar type 2, and Anxiety Disorder and ASPD definitely has the largest effect on my life and I do experience cognitive empathy I'll just say that you are totally still able to live a great, productive and even caring life as an individual with ASPD. There are many times where I've looked back on the many jobs that I have lost and quit, I look at friendships ended, family lost and opportunities missed... And though there is all of that to regret, one thing I do not have, is regret. I live the life that I love and do it with the people that I enjoy being around, most everyone close to me in my life does know about my disorder and that helps them to understand why I do what I do so I tend to get in a lot less trouble now than when I was younger. Stay positive, and know that most people will never understand, but honestly, the few others I know who also have ASPD are all close friends, (a meeting with 3 or more openly sociopathic individuals is possibly the greatest party of all time) because we're all actually good people, we just happen to be completely different than most.
Oh god I think I might have it too.... This is a hard pill to swallow. But everything she is saying sounds exactly like me. Except for the boredom and not carring if I die or others. I would care if I put my life or others in danger. But I literally have never felt others emotions but I can understand how and why they're feeling hurt. But everything else she said aounds like me.
@@summerdelossantos4655 Thanks. I feel bad for others and am able to care I just legit can't "feel them."... Idek how to explaim it. Like I can empathize and care for others but can equally treat others like absolute shit without understanding how terrible I've made them feel because I'm not sure I can relate. Mabe I'm just a piece of shit...
Soooooo I’m here from Shane Dawson’s video.... as a lot of people are I suppose. But I wanted to say a few things that I really appreciate about the video. First off I love your hair girl you look amazing, and so secure in who you are. I appreciate how you accepted the diagnosis and instead of using it as a tool or something, you focused on bettering yourself. I really admire how you brought up that ASPD was put up as this scary thing when people with ASPD are just that: people. And so many therapists and such diagnose and dehumanize. I am kinda wondering myself if I struggle with narcissism or psychopathy or sociopathy but I don’t want to be opened up and dehumanized by someone who doesn’t know me and doesn’t care about me for any reason besides that they are paid to care.
I will be totally honest I was not expecting my comment to get noticed at all. So thanks for responding. I have tried to go to a therapist before but it always felt threatening, not like in a way where I was scared, but where the therapist seemed to me to be mal-intentioned towards me not to expose me, but to make me a trophy on their wall and make me their good work they could parade. Now that is a lot less sociopathic to me, but I still feel little empathy for say a girl who is crying, it makes me wanna say “shut up, seriously stop making a scene and stop trying to grab attention.” Now of course one can’t say that out loud, but it just never bugged me that they were crying, but more that they were causing a huge commotion. And I struggle to not manipulate people. I know I’m not supposed to do it, but it’s way harder to stop doing it, and in some cases I feel like I just don’t wanna. I grew up with the kind of manipulation that makes you think you are crazy and now, I became a lot better at it than I should be. So I don’t know if I even should be worried about this at all, I don’t really think I fit all the signs. Also I don’t guess therapy would work for me because I could never bring myself to tell the therapist the truth all the way. I tried. And I know, I know. You gotta be truthful with your therapist to get help. But honestly to me it seems like it does nothing but give them power over me.
Not to mention that I remain totally uninterested in therapy that basically blankets anyone with ASPD as hopeless and ‘incurable’. Really it’s the same as anyone else. You can only really cure them if they want you to. But also I feel like ‘curing’ is a bad term because you should never be trying to cure who you are. I kinda see it like if I am a sociopath that means that I can go in and do the emotional stuff that nobody else can handle. Chameleons are dangerous to their prey and as you said in the video ASPD makes a person terrifying if you mess with people they actually care about. I’m sorry, I guess I’m just parroting what your video said. Long story short I have tendencies and abilities that look sociopathic to certain people (myself included) and I appreciate your video saying hey as a diagnosed sociopath, we’re human too.
I literally came to this video because I wanted to get a better insight on ASPD, because of Shane's 8 part series. And I'm watching this video and I'm just like what was Kati talking about????? They are constantly lying and don't feel any emotion? She obviously feels emotion...….As she says in the video they aren't all monsters and I think more people learning about this disorder should watch this video because she has a way better insight and tells the actual truth.
I came here from Shane's video too. I think it was wrong for Kati to say sociopaths are all bad and creepy. That is unfair to people trying to cope with, and be treated for, this disorder. Thanks for the video Iris.
@@ChimneyMcSmokesalot thank you for the explanation but she probably should have gave a better explanation on the types you can have because that is where the confusion started
Null Can you stop we that nonsense, if Iris is the host she will be dx as ASPD just because she is ONE personality does not make her less than someone with this without DID. (Also stop 'outing' their System on a very public video, as they will end getting hateful and ignorant comments on top of this.)
The way the therapist presented it in Shane's video was like 1 in 25 "gross/icky" monsters are living among us. This helped me understand that these people are human and some people just have stronger/different tendencies than others. Thanks so much.
After watching this video I don't know what to think... Shane really demonized people with ASPD and I don't feel like it was his fault, more like the psychologist's fault for how she unprofessionally described the disorder. She really made it out like people with ASPD are demonic almost. I hope more people see this video to get a cleaer understanding of what it's like
Exactly! I had to come over here to actually understand what the disorder was and how someone deals with it. Cause these disorders are not creepy or nasty I feel like that's ignorant and offensive to people going through that
@@nataliadejesus1764 YES. None of these disorders are inherently like evil or creepy and she made it out to sound like that! It's offensive to paint an entire demographic of individuals as evil robot ppl.
@@isabellaraymundo7142 right! I had to stop the video and talk to my little brother because he was saying the drama in the video made him so confused and slightly uneasy. Where it should be more informative
@@OliviaKrailo thank you so much for making this video. You have made it clearer not only for others with this disorder but also for people learning about it.
I came here to get a better inslight, because I felt as if the woman from shanes video was making out everone with ASPD to be a monster. And I wanted to come here and have a better look and understanding on how not all people with ASPD are monsters with no feelings and evil intentions.
Angela Nicole I wasn't saying that shane meant it to be like that, but I felt as if the woman explaining ASPD was only saying the worst parts, or the worst outcomes if that makes any sense.
THOT PATROL okay in that cause I do understand but those were just the list of symptoms. Not everyone shares the same ones extremely or mildly. I like the way this video explains it, they should have added more of it in.
@@andrewmatthews6263 people with ASPD still experience emotions lmao, empathy is just 1 emotion and people with ASPD (or other low empathy disorders) don't just lack every emotion ever, another point that Shane really glossed over
thank you so much! I've been looking all over for aspd from the point of view of someone with aspd, and it's ridiculously hard to find! the world needs to hear your voices and see that your not one collective person, that aspd individuals aren't monsters, seriously thank you so much!
Same here! I was bombarded by sensationalist videos that demonized aspd so I had a lot of misconceptions before channels like Cringey and Creepshow art linked Fae and other aspd youtubers
The boredom you described sounds a lot like the emptiness that comes with chronic depression. You just feel nothing at all and you’ll do anything to feel again. That’s where self harm comes in for a lot of people.
@@urmomissupercool9863 I think so. I have no diagnosis for any mental ilness, but I definitely felt empty and rage was one of the rare emotions I could feel. And any interaction with people could trigger it on my worst days
Sorry, know this is a little old but for anyone that sees this, I'd just like to clarify the above. While the description of the boredom does sound like the emptiness that comes with depression, it is a whole different ballpark from that type of boredom. The way that you described it, whether you meant it or not, "sounds like emptiness", which from personal experience I don't think I agree with. While there is boredom, It's not that activity is unfulfilling, because depending on the activity it is fulfilling, fun, all that jazz, however, we just become bored extremely quickly with a certain task/topic. So it's genuinely fun for the short time we find it fun, but after that, we just lose interest in it. It's why we do so bad at school and at work for example, for the first week of doing a subject or particular job at work, we genuinely find that shit fun and interesting and it brings a sense of fulfillment. However after however long, typically quite a short time, let's say, the math subject we are learning becomes boring to us, working at the cash register becomes boring for us, driving a forklift becomes boring for us. It isn't emptiness, just a rapid decline in fulfillment. I do however have to agree, it sucks not being able to do shit because those few people you care about, you care about them seeing you decline or hurting them by living a parasitic lifestyle or not having a stable enough life. If I couldn't wish for being able to remove my ASPD, I would wish to not feel anything for anyone at all just so I could then avoid feeling like shit every time I think about my mate. So I could not necessarily be happy, but at least not be sad.
This video is wonderful. I think the therapist in Shane’s video was talking about the “Low Functioning” part of the diagnosis. The full blown version. The behaviors of that are gross. I was married to one who manipulated and terrorized me for years. Iris does not strike me as the same kind of person. She recognizes and accepts her diagnosis and chooses to work from that seeing it for what it is and being able to talk about it. My ex? Never in a million years. He was all the things in the DSM V to the extreme. I feared for my life just enough, I would be manipulated, started to feel comfortable again, and then WHAM. Right back into fear mode. I’m an empath like Shane is. I can see where he is coming from. And I can see Iris. She is not what my ex was. Same diagnosis. Different places on the spectrum of it. She sees it. My ex refused.
Wow, you described the way I have felt for the past 8 and a half yr around my child’s father. He is violent and he would try to push me to the edge and I would snap sometimes. I also experience” gas lighting”, it was a constant fear and then he would swoop in and tell me that he was sorry and that he would try harder and it would seem like it and then BAM the cycle all over again. I’m leaving because I don’t want my kids growing up in a neglectful and violent household. By the way, his family knows how he is and they have seen what he’s done to me but they don’t take it seriously and well I can’t force them, I have to take action myself and remove my kids and I from this toxic person. I feel like I have to be two different people. One person when he’s around and and then the exhausted and broken one when he’s not present left to pick up the pieces. By the way I don’t think he has ASPD but he is very aggressive and he is manipulative, cold and careless when he doesn’t get what he wants.
Kati Morton is a therapist, but I don't think ASPD is what she specializes in. She generally has pretty good videos, but it's clear that she mostly followed DSM and the symptoms are pretty creepy, if you just read about them.
Isirian well also this is Shane's video, not hers. They talked for 5hours. She did not decide what to cut or what to edit, Shane did. We never know what happens behind the curtains
I dont like kati. kati said in the latest video that she specialized in eating disorders and something else that has nothing to do with the sociopaths or pyschopaths. i love shane but like what the fuuuuckkkk. he needs to get a therapist that specializes in the shit he’s getting into because she just keeps making herself look bad
As far as I know, she is licensed, but I don't think her ASPD is her expertise and I was kinda disapointed in her in Shane's video. I watch her channel and I think she had good intentions, but two things prevented a good outcome. A) She researched ASPD, but that would probably generally lead her to sources talking about people with ASPD in an unflattering light. B) Shane's editing was waaaaaay to dramatic, the music, the fonts, his attitude... These two things combined really didn't put anyone, Kati and Shane included, in a good light.
As another female with ASPD I am so glad to see someone speaking out and making the term more accessible and less stigmatised, we aren’t the monsters we are made out to be, we’re just a different kind of person
@water tastes so good you do know that EVERY one is a socialpath in some way or another. (Think about it like this if someone was trying to harm your family like the purge Would you protect them by any means?.)
I hope that everyone here understands that this person has suffered a lot in their life, especially their childhood if you check their channel, because they have DID, which forms because of severe child trauma.
Ones Narcissistic. Bad vibes come from the false self, not all ASPD is comorbid, this is an old wives tale. All cluster B peeps have grandiosity. That's the difference.
Here from Shane’s video. The therapist or whatever she is kept referring to people with this diagnosis as “gross,” “creepy” and “weird.” Watching this video made me even more disgusted by her comments.
she said their symptoms are weird and gross, and that is a fact. manipulation and lying will never be cute or okay. call it what it is, creepy and weird
Great job making this video. I also found it through Shane's video after feeling compelled to leave an essay-length comment there attempting to correct some of the misinformation and admittedly also engaging in a little game of guess the disorder the Jake brothers have which I suspected I really shouldn't have and watching your video confirmed that for me. I should have stuck to trying to explain ASBD in a more sensitive and accurate way. The therapist in that video did nothing but dehumanise and demonise people with ASBD and didn't seem to know an awful lot about it, as for instance the fact that it runs on a spectrum. She also seemed to think that sociopaths were incapable of emotion which of course is twaddle. I have been dedicated to the study of 'abnormal' psychology for roughly 20 years with dissociative disorders and cluster B personality disorders as my main focus. High functioning 'sociopaths' were not even mentioned in that video and I found the language used to be needlessly damaging. I couldn't even see a link to this video is the description despite the use of your clip. I am so glad you mentioned the different kinds of empathy as that something else I tried to explain and so many people don't know. Also glad you talked about how sociopaths are made and psychopaths are born. Anyway, your perspective was very interesting so thank you for speaking about this. I don't have ASPD but I do have BPD and other mental illness so I understand the stigma to a much lesser degree. I'm also a system though there is no communication between alters here. I hope that you continue to make videos about ASPD, DID and whatever else you feel moved to discuss.
I have a question. Are there high functioning sociopaths that genuinely want to fit in with society and do whatever they can their whole lives to do so or will they always just appear to be a good person with a hidden agenda?
This video W A S linked in the description of Shane's video, [Because otherwise I - and many others wouldn't have been able to find it], other than that I agree with you.
she says in this video she doesn’t care about what happens to herself or anyone else and has no remorse. in shane’s video they simply talked about the symptoms, if it seemed to dehumanise them it’s only because the symptoms are in themselves dehumanising.
ASPD runs on a spectrum Lot's of people with ASPD lead 'normal' decent lives and actively seek self-improvement. A pretty big percentage of surgeons, CEO's even mental health professionals are high functioning sociopaths.Not just these professions of course but they are good example professions. The way people with ASPD were spoken about in Shane's video made them all out to be A, the same which is beyond silly and B, all hopeless cases and terrible monsters which is inaccurate, damaging, and incredibly unprofessional. Iris said that she can care about some people and it's more than just people with ASPD that lack might not really care about upsetting a stranger. Look anywhere on the internet.
Yes, there are high functioning people with ASPD that learn cognitive empathy and live according to that. Not being able to feel a feeling like emotional empathy or guilt yet still choosing to live in an ethical way is a choice many people with ASPD make.
It's interesting how she explained how she would never lie to her fiancee and close friends. You would expect someone to say "I wouldn't lie to my fiancee and my closest friends, because they're the world to me". But her innate explanation was "I wouldn't lie to my fiancee and my closest friends because they don't give me a reason to".
Basically her friends have to walk around on egg shells for fear that she might manipulate them. I can't get past the fact that she tries to indicate that she is not dangerous & says she would never kill anyone, but on the other hand says that she would not care if somebody died as a result of her actions. How is that any less terrifying? 😂
You’re a thoughtful ambassador for those with ASD. That you’d seek treatment at all means you are way ahead of the curve. I wish you much success and happiness.
I have BPD (also high functioning) and I've noticed that Cluster B's are demonized in an outrageously unfair way, but we all have this desire and Need to protect each other. I know all of us have the potential to Really hurt others, most of us don't want to do that. I'm sorry that Shane's video featured you and both he and the psychologist ended up painting ASPD in a really dark and automatically evil light. It probably will make your life harder for a while. I wish it was easier to be treated as human And have a Cluster B disorder.
I have a question. What is cluster B? I was gonna google it but then I realized that oh wait it’s not like google is gonna explain this fairly. So my question to you as one person to another who sees the negative light it gets, what is cluster b? And what is it from the inside? Pardon the stupid question.
That's not a stupid question at all! Cluster B is characterized by identity instability, emotional instability, and impulsive behavior. It includes BPD, HPD, ASPD, and NPD. ALL of these have their own spectrum of diagnosed characteristics and have to be diagnosed by a senior psychiatrist. We all tend to group together and defend each other because we all have such a heavy stereotype that we are abusers or that is not a Real disorder, we're just awful people. There are some amazing youtubers (like Iris) who explain their individual experiences with each disorder.
The problem: a large number of violent criminals have Cluster B personality disorders. However, most people with Cluster B personality disorders aren't necessarily violent criminals. Lots of murderers and rapists are sociopaths. However, so are a lot of corporate CEOs, therapists, teachers, etc. A fair amount of murderers (especially people who hurt their own spouses and children) have BPD. However, I personally know at least two people with BPD diagnoses that are loving mothers and have been in long-term relationships with their spouses (one is still married to their spouse and they've been together 15 years). And they would never even dream of hurting their spouses or children. People who are high-functioning with Cluster B disorders can have relatively normal lives. They might have problems, and maintaining long-term relationships can be super difficult. But they do it, because it's important to them. It's the low-functioning ones that give everyone a bad name.
I have BPD and I get really scared of people knowing I have it. The last thing I want to do is hurt people. I am high functioning but what really gets me as Iris said is the constant terrible boredom and emptiness, and the crazy mood changes. I also have crazy emotional empathy that it will make me go in a rut from feeling someones pain. its frustrating and hard as all things are with BPD. Sending love, I know its hard
To be fair, Shane went to her for information and she gave him negative (also opinionated and cherry picked) information and made it out to be scary. Shane was just editing based off the info she gave him which wasn’t very good info
Crushed Belette what the hell? All she’s doing is making a video about the disorder. Don’t hate on her just because of this. This is why Shane’s video is so ridiculous.
Seems like Shane did exactly what she didn’t want people to do when making videos or discussing sociopaths. He played scary music and the therapists called them creepy & gross overall- the vibe was that they’re bad people. Not saying I disagree with them but I don’t think this girl would like that portrayal of her diagnosis
Katie Morton just created more stigma around personality disorders. As someone with BPD this sucks. She didn't even highlight anything that humanizes people with aspd. It's like they walked out of hell how they talk about it. And now everyone and their mother is diagnosing people. Ugh.
I cannot explain the relief I felt when you said you were engaged. I am currently dating someone who has told me that she is a sociopath and I want to learn about it. Knowing that you are engaged and you are in a relationship gives me hope!!
Well the thing is that you shouldn't be relieved just yet... Be on guard just in case... See the thing with sociopaths is that they can love... But only intellectually.. And if you get close enough... Somewhat emotionally but not as much as normal folk which is a huge thing if we consider that were. Dealing with someone who doesn't have empathy for the most of the world .... So if she does love you intellectually... That's the sociopath version of feeling love if you will and I think you might have a healthy relationship. With its downs as any relationship of course... But then again... Depending on her upbringing she might be of the more selfish kind and just trick you so be on guard... ... 😅 you're in a tough situation my friend. Don't get too attached and always be cautious. Have a plan in case she secretly steals or harms you in other ways. If you can't help you feelings for her it's good to regulate them and not let them make you act foolish. If she's of the malevolent kind she is all about the power struggle and mind games and she won't mind about destroying you in any type of way the moment you're useless to her agenda...
As someone who's been there, I would advise you to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. You will only get hurt as they don't care about anyone but themselves. You will be lied to, deceived and manipulated. It's abuse
I love Shane to bits but now I'm not sure what to belive. I feel like the therapist in Shane's video was to broad and too vague with her use of words. Yes, some people might not feel anything ever, but there are also that do. Thank you for educating some of us on the real definition of the disorder. I hope its smooth sailing and I wish you the best!💕
@@SoloQSights She wasn't wrong, she was reading directly from a medical book. If anything this girl's wrong because she's just going off prior knowledge. In general believe the board certified and trained therapist ffs.
It's so nice to see that you have so much self-awareness. You hear so many things about personality disorders and how people often lack awareness and don't seek help. Thank you for doing this video :)
Thank you for making this video, it helped me feel a lot less paranoid from Shane’s video and it helped me understand this disorder better. It sounds a lot more normal coming from you and it’s cool that you’re aware and giving out helpful information like this
@@McSeverance I mean I can't really believe what she's saying bc if she really is a sociopath she's maybe lying and manipulating to seem good to others bc sociopaths do that all the time, so whether she is or not I'm not believing her bc I don't know her and I don't have a proof of anything she said
BTW, this is a REAL disorder for everyone joking around and making fun of the situation. Also, as a psychology major, if anyone is wondering, you only have to have three of these symptoms to meet the criteria for antisocial personality disorder. Do not diagnose yourself, go to a licensed professional that can diagnose you and get you the help you need! Thank you for the informative video! :)
Sarah Renee I think I have the exact same thing the person in this video has, everything checks out. Should I go find help? Because it's not a problem at all for me rn, but can it become a problem in the future?
Nathan Veldstra go see your GP and see if you can get into a psychologist. There may be free or low cost services in your area. It takes a long time to get an appropriate diagnosis. You need a psych that wants to know you and help you be the best version of yourself. It's worth noting many mental illnesses have similar symptoms, but can be very different in the way those symptoms manifest and the reasons why. Although the symptoms may not bother you now, if they start to affect your relationships, work and general happiness it could get harder to change your mindset. CBD and talk therapy, mindfulness techniques can help with all forms of mental illness. Don't jump on the pharmaceuticals unless you think the only other outcome will be your life ending/or your quality of life being extremely low.. the effects are sometimes more disturbing than the illness itself. Good luck mate.
everyone should ask themselves , do i know why we are lead into believing that a " social norm is a good thing " . a social norm is just a term used against people that do not like being a normal slave in society . if you all think about it enough , search the matter you will see the truth . we are being used so that a select few people can enjoy the good life without actually doing much in life .
Thanks for sharing. It's rare I get to hear from the sociopath or have one admit it. I have an entire family of cluster bs. My mother is borderline, my father and older sister are overt sociopath, grandma was covert sociopath and younger sister on the milder spectrum of narcissism but she is only one with empathy. The other ones can be evil and sadistic. Very parasitic, violent, and huge violators. They will violate you in any way...steal, lie, spy, snoop, hit, attack friends, destroy things, disrupt peace, cause fights and chaos, spit in your face or food, create discord, triangulate, yell, curse, threaten. I was staved a lot as a child, abused in every way, and evil sister tried to murder me on several occasions. My parents knew and did nothing. They loved the pain she caused me, they fed off that energy too. They rewarded her horrific behavior. She was their prized creation. She went on to have 3 children and tortured them. She has no relationship with them now and they turned out disordered as well. Not as bad as her though. I watched my evil father kick her in the head over and over and over while she screamed and begged for her life. I was maybe 6 years old and she was 8. It was truly horrific. I will never forget it and that is why I can forgive her. I do understand that a cluster B is repressing deep deep traumatic pain in the subconscious. My father is dead now and my sister remembers him as a good father. She disassociated from that trauma and can't recall it. She defends him. Cause I think he was a monster. Although I forgive him too...he was also abused as a child. But so was I and I did not choose that path. My heart is full of love, empathic and I care deeply about all people, animals, and nature. I have been so badly exploited, used and abused in life because of my early childhood programming. I am very withdrawn now, cut all contact with family and toxic friends, and finding myself constantly trying to educate myself about this human condition. I want to protect myself and my daughter so we don't have to suffer anymore. I understand there is spectrum to this and every person and their life experiences and conditioning are different. My family was on the extreme end of it but they weren't criminals or murderers. They did cause much pain to others and got away with all of it. Their number one target was children cause they are innocent and helpless. their own children were perfect victims cause no one would ever hear my cries or help me or my sisters. They were ver controlling and punishing. If you confront their bad behavior they will attack, rage, gaslight, and blame. They won't change. I'm not even sure they know anything is wrong with them. They would never admit they have a problem. I just had to walk away forever and grieve the loss of my family, as dysfunctional as they are. I still love them unconditionally and wish they could heal and find love but I know they cannot and I need to protect myself, love myself, guard my heart, and not allow them in. They feel entitled but they are not. I have taken back my power. I am sorry you have this disorder. I'm fascinated to learn more and better understand it because my family would never admit or share why they do what they do. Im wired up opposite so I can't make sense of it.
Came here from Shane’s video- was very interested in what you had to say! You are very brave & I admire your confidence in being this real. A little frightening when you said “you should run” - you morphed from being a thoughtful instructor into something cold there. But that’s part of the disorder right? And at least you know yourself and are self aware. Continue to take care of yourself and be well! -best, Tekla
The best way to know about all personality disorders is to hear it from the people who have them..Unfortunately most Antisocials and Narcissists won't admit it or get diagnosed, so it's not possible to learn as much about them besides what we hear.. The absolute worse ways to learn about disorders is from youtube "specialists", as they are mostly just salty ex wives and husbands who's partner was a jerk and now they think they are experts on disorders..
It's rare but not that uncommon. People with personnality disorder who have grandiose defenses can become more self-reflective and self-aware if their life circumstances have forced them to do so. (For example after facing time in jail, divorce, unemployement, disability due to aging etc...)
Antoine2208 yes i've found that those ex spouses and such like to play the victim and act like people who have personality disorders are inherently bad people. it makes me sad for people who have personality disorders, they need love too!
I think she could be referring to impulsive lying (perhaps out of boredom or less inhibitions) versus deceitful, planned, and malicious lying for the sake of manipulation to achieve some benefit.
catbeara I hope that's not the case......I rarely lie. I hate lying so much. I do every now and then but it's so infrequent. I really hope the majority of people don't lie "all the time."
I have this thing called Maladaptive Daydreaming and when I saw Katie's video about it everything was so wrong and she even mixed it up with other mental illness. So I totally understand how frustrating it can be.
I’ve never heard of that? Is that something like thinking bad thoughts but not acting in them? Sometimes if someone upsets me I daydream about doing horrible things to them, that I would never do in reality, is it something like that or something else entirely?
@@kbaylor123 no maladaptive daydreaming can be seen as a coping mechanism. Ppl that maladaptive daydream create an inner world of storylines, cartoon characters or the version of themselves that they wish to be. Ppl that md may pace around their rooms while listening to music and daydream for extensive hours. They may rock on their chairs, spin around, jump or do any other kind of movement while md. They do this by themselves bc if other ppl saw them then they would be judged. What triggers someone to md maybe tv shows, movies, comic books, music etc. Maladaptive daydream can be smth a person starts to do and it becomes a maladaptive pattern or in some cases the person may have been doing since childhood- usually due to coping with loneliness, low self esteem, trauma etc. There can be a variety pf reasons why person md. Maladaptive daydreaming is not recognised as a mental illness.
@@kbaylor123 at first I thought you referring to intrusive thoughts but those are unwanted thoughts. It sounds like what you’re describing is you being angry when thinking about hurting someone not anything medically related.
I know Shane made mistakes in his video but really... Looking at this comment section I see an overwhelming percentage of people being positive and genuinely wanting to learn more about this. For that at least, I think it's a success. He sparked a conversation.
There are also people who are unwilling to listen after watching Shane's video. Now they have it in their head that they know what ASPD is all about. I was responding to comments on another guy's video of Shane and the comments went on forever. I grew exhausted and was like fuck it, they can think what they like.
I'm really happy that you posted this video! It seems like no matter where I go on the internet all people with ASPD are considered to be complete monsters. Which doesn't seem very believable to me. I've also noticed the tendency to use "scary music" in videos about it.
Thank you for making this video. I think you shed a lot of light on the subject. I'll definitely be back if you make a part 2. I do feel like Shane has a right to make his art and should not change it to make anyone happy. The ppl upset aren't sociopaths and the ones that are don't care at all. Or if they do it's only because they don't want to look bad. Because they do have a desire to be liked. Because it's to there advantage...
I don't think Shane's ultimate goal is to "make people happy," though his ultimate goals might benefit from it. Shane's goal is to entertain, and by entertaining he has the potential to meet other goals financially and etc. He entertains by creating content, or "art," as you call it. His objectives when creating content is exposure, views, coverage, etc. He achieves this, like other content creators, by publishing and promoting it; maybe even hyping it up in advance. Why would he do any of this if he wasn't concerned with views and public perception? If his content is not received well, this negatively impacts his views, his future projects, collabs, finances, his relationships, etc. As far as his critics only caring because they want to be liked and don't want to look bad... Many of the critics are anonymous. They are here, on Twitter, on forums, on Reddit. If they wanted to "look good" to others, why would they be anonymous or not use their real names or even a real picture, such as yourself? Those who are public, are speaking against a very popular and beloved UA-camr, with popular UA-camr friends, and with a very devoted fanbase. Critics are still outnumbered, as evidenced by the like/dislike ratio on his vids and even the amount of likes on comments and videos that criticize him. If their motivation is only to be liked, wouldn't it make sense to SIDE with Shane, given that statistically there are more people who believe him without question and defend him, and given that the majority of people are uneducated and misinformed about mental illnesses? If a person's goal is to be liked and not look bad, they typically side with the MAJORITY; not the minority. A person who speaks against something or someone that is favorably viewed by the majority is viewed as "bad." That is pretty counterproductive for someone whose only concern is to "look good," don't you think?
I know this is really late haha but I love this video! I don’t have ASPD but I do have a cluster B personality disorder (borderline personality) and I love how you show the reality of personality disorders and how not everyone with a PD is harmful or abusive (especially cluster B)! This is really amazing I mean I’ve met people with ASPD when I was in the hospital and they are in no way the type of person that you want to stay away from! Same with all PDs. I love this I hope you’re feeling good these days and thanks so much for making this video 😁👍
I came from Shane's video where I already commented there about how upset I was about how the therapist was talking about ASPD. I cringed every time she said the word "icky." A licensed professional should never refer to a mental illness that way. They are human beings and the goal of the field psychology is to understand the brain as much as we can and try to find treatments for people with all kinds of different disorders. I hope everyone from Shane's video comes to watch this!
This video was very informative, thank you for sharing. You’re not a monster and your wig is fine, do what tf you want. Keep sharing this information it needs to be acknowledged.
It's sad to me how all the personality disorders get all the bad rep. As someone who has been diagnosed with bpd I have had to deal with my fair share of stigmatism from past friends, family members, and even clinicians. Like we are not all dangerous smh.
As an alcoholic and drug addict, I have encountered many females in rehab who claim to have borderline personality. They are more dangerous to themselves than anyone else. I find them to be vulnerable and weak. Even so, I also tend to be sexually attracted to them.
If you are dangerous to one person it is enough. Lack of empathy and callousness is dangerous when someone next to you is in a crisis, and you won't even be able to recognize it properly,it just won't ring any bell to you. When something is not on your personal emotional radar that doesn't mean it doesn't exist thought.
BPD is waaaay different from ASPD. ASPD have a disregard for others well being, they are manipulative liars, deceitful people. BPDs are mostly harmful to themselves not others
Alice Lindsay yeah I found this video months and months ago just because I wanted to know and understand what the disorder was like. When I saw her I was like “that’s Iris!” Lol I watched more of her videos tho, not just this one.
I honestly would be so irritated if I made a video to demystify and destigmatize ASPD and sociopathy, and then the "scary" parts got edited into a video about how creepy and weird and gross people with ASPD/sociopathy/psychopathy are (they used these terms interchangeably and inconsistently). I generally really like shane: he's funny, kind, caring, and usually insightful about people. But he's really out of his depth on issues of mental illness, and mishandling these topics can have a seriously negative effect on real world people, especially considering how huge his platform is.
I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I relate to a lot of the ASPD symptoms. What you mentioned about ”not caring what happens to yourself” I screamed bc my NPD says the exact opposite lmaooo
i have some narcisistic traits too but wtf no we aint psychopaths we are just too ego and we think we are special or better than the other or be flashers showing our money and shit nothing else dude nothing to do with psychopaths
@nn m a great person that everyone likes doesn't feel the need to say that plus realistically not everyone likes you sorry to burst your bubble, you're sounding more like a narcissist than me😂
After watching Shane´s video I think that the therapist was talking about the disorder in a kind of misleading (?) way.. you know with all the comments about how horrible it is. Seems to me as though she should have mentioned your last point from this video and provide a more neutral opinion (but that might have not fit the narrative, idk). Wondering what you think about it?
I think you are so right, because while we love the chills that creepy diagnoses like that give us, it’s not right to dehumanize anyone, and I feel like she did actually a better job than the therapist of explaining it. And there’s a very key reason why. Kati has tons of experience with it, granted, but none are like this lady went through because Kati is the outside looking in and she is inside giving us a peek into her mind, and how actually sociopaths can be beautiful people all on their own. Different =/= bad.
Null Pathological psychopathy is different from sociopathy though. It's important to remember that sociopathy comes out of trauma, and psychopathy is biological. Shane and Kati are using the term 'sociopathy', and by just simply listing off the symptoms, they made it sound like sociopathy is inherently evil which is very misleading. It's also important to note that although Iris is an alter, she is still her own person. Many people with DID have fractured alters as well as also fully formed alters, and most of the ones that can take spotlight of the host, are fully formed personalities, who are in fact their own person and have a life within the system of the host. So just because Iris is an alter, that doesn't necessarily discredit her from having her own disorders.
@@ChimneyMcSmokesalot Yes, I agree that they're using the term inappropriately and in a misleading fashion. I can also agree to disagree on 'fully formed' alters. They may not be fully formed enough to have a full blown diagnosis necessarily, but since they are separate personalities and do consider themselves to be their own person, I would say they are justified in receiving information that can help understand themselves. Whether that be a mental diagnosis within a diagnosis or otherwise. (And completely unrelated to anything: if anyone else reads this, can we just look at how civilized all these conversations have been in the comment section of this video?! Why can't fb conversations/debates be this easy?! Sorry, I just like having a normal, informative conversation without drama lol)
Null yes! We are fully formed! My only bits missing are my triggers, trauma and certain childlike events. I do everything else... I have a son and a family - your attitude is horrid! You do not know DID/dissociative disorders then...
Nice explanation. My boyfriends a psychologist and he tried explaining this disorder to me after I saw Shane’s video but your video was way clearer about the details of these disorders so thanks for that. I feel bad that his video did such a poor job explaining the disorder. I appreciate you taking the time to explain your disorder to us. Your fiancé sounds like a lucky girl. 👍🏼
I love hearing the patients side of the story rather than just therapists and people studying the disorder, I hope you make a part two soon. There needs to be more awareness on this
This is the best overview of the diagnosis on UA-cam yet so many dislikes. Maybe people are angry about people with ASPD and cannot separate their emotions from their evaluation of this video. Fellow ASPD sufferer here.
ragingseraph I don't know, man, maybe the majority of people who have a mental illness don't enjoy having it because of the trouble the symptoms and stigma cause them? Just a thought.
I hope this isn't offensive but I genuinely am curious and you seem like someone who doesn't mind educating people who don't understand the disorder. But you talked about your fiance (congrats btw!) and how you would do anything to protect her and would never lie to her. I am just curious because I thought ASPD hinders the ability to care. So I'm just curious how love is in a relationship with someone with ASPD. Can you love without fully caring and empathizing with your partner? And what do you mean by "giving a reason" in terms of lying and manipulating. Like if you get into an argument with your partner would that qualify as a reason to manipulate? I really hope this isn't offensive. I would love if you could make a video about ASPD in relationships.
The thing with Sociopaths is that they can sometimes empathize or have strong positive feelings towards some people or groups. Think of people like gang members or members of an organized crime group like the Mafia or Yakuza. There are members of these groups who will rob, beat, torture, and kill with absolutely no remorse or hesitation. Gang members earn respect by being violent and the Mafia and other criminal secret societies became so powerful based on their willingness to use violence. In those types of organizations, sociopaths do very well and disproportionate amount of members tend to be sociopaths. Although, I will note that it is only a minority of the members of criminal organizations, but the most powerful members of these groups are usually sociopaths or psychopaths. Now, a lot of these people are fiercely loyal to the group or certain members and they will die or spend the rest of their lives in prison to protect it.
A bit of a follow up on the gang/Mafia thing. I suggest reading a book called "The Murder Machine". It's a book about the DeMeo crew which was essentially a small gang working for the Gambino Mafia Family in New York in the 70s and early 80s. The head of the gang was a man by the name of Roy DeMeo. Roy DeMeo was a member of the Mafia and some investigators think he's the most prolific hit man the Mafia has ever produced. Roy killed at least 38 people himself and some estimates raise higher than 100 victims with possibly up to 200 murder committed by other members of his crew (which ranged from 6 to about 15 at various points). What made the crew notable besides their death toll was their method disposing the bodies (which is why the estimates for their victims ranges so widely) which was cutting the body into pieces and depositing them across several dumpsters. Roy was extremely close to some of the crew members. Especially a young mob associate named Harvey Rosenberg who admired Roy so much that he often used the name "Chris DeMeo". Everyone who knew both of them talked about how close they were and their attachment to each other. DeMeo was also very fond of animals and had a hobby of nursing injured animals back to health. He was also very loving towards his kids. Roy was probably a sociopath. Very few non-sociopaths could rack up murders in the dozens (or maybe even over a hundred) and cut up bodies the way he did. He also made his living on extortion, running chop shops, dealing heroin, and he at one point dabbled in child pornography (although that was short lived as even his follow mobsters were horrified at that source of income and pointed out that he had kids around the same age). Yet, he was certainly capable of empathy in limited circumstances.
A sociopath is created so in that aspect, they can care about those few people that they connect with. Psychopaths are actually incapable of feeling love and stuff like that. A sociopath (especially high functioning) can love people and that ends up being a very strong connection because it’s rare for them to connect w people.
@Rachel Solomon There is a big difference between simply having ASPD and being a sociopath or a psychopath. Sociopaths and psychopaths have ASPD, sure, but all people with ASPD aren't necessarily sociopaths or psychopaths. Perhaps, you're getting this mixed up a little bit, I don't know.
Its not really complicated... It's basically like... You have a group of people you care for or have positive vibes Towards.... But that can INSTANTLY change in a matter of seconds if they do something to really piss u off... Or if you find them not to be positive In the way you desire anymore... You could go from taking a bullet for the to putting one through them if they decided to betray you. Its a simpler switch for us wit aspd then it is for those who don't have it. I hope this helped you😊
*This* is the video people should be watching if they want to know about sociopathy. Not Shane's video (from which I watched first). That therapist he spoke to was so demonising towards ASPD and kept saying "ew" like it was a contagious condition. I know she was reading from the DSM but the whole video Shane did just didn't feel right. Thank you for doing this video, it explained so much more and from a human aspect rather than a textbook example. I wish you all the best ❤️
There’s so many bad stereotypes on the internet about mental disorders. Disorders like Schizoprenia, BPD, ASPD, DID, and especially sociopathy are thrown into the “dangerous or crazy” category. The human mind is so complex and no one person with these disorders are the exact same as another person. I have a few diagnosed mental disorders including being a sociopath but I can truly care about others, if they show me the same respect. I’m not a crazy manipulative danger to society, and I wish more light was shed on the fragility of the human mind. I was born with some disorders, others were created from the negativity and hatred and bullying growing up. Not all people with these disorders are bad, but not all of them are good either. The true nature of that person will always shine through with their actions.
VioletHaze Have a question, if you don't mind? It's not meant to be rude, or disrespectful, I'm just curious (because reasons...). If you're diagnosed with sociopathy, does it really means that you CAN, and are able to understand and truly care for others? I was always wondering about that one, because my very best friend was also diagnosed (not so long ago, and we've been friends our whole lives). Now I can't help it, I'm questioning everything lately, and try to educate myself the best I can. Thank you :)
Judita J. No you cannot care for others the way those who are empathetic do. Sociopaths "care" for reasons that are beneficial to them. Aka..stay around those that give them entertainment of some kind...but sociopath do not care the way empaths do or share emotions the way they do. Sociopaths also dont love. They may tell you they do because they know that's what you want to hear but they cannot physically feel that.
I appreciate hearing about this from a person who has ASPD because I've leaned that people with ASPD are human beings most of the time not serial killers or have sick fetishes. This video stands out because it gives perspective from a person ASPD and functioning
Redorgreenful Redorgreenful A belated cheers to you for truly listening. IDK if male expression of ASPD is different from female expression, as a whole, but the few female ASPD diagnosed I've found (the internet is a wonderful thing) besides myself are high-functioning, like this girl, and experience the world like this girl does generally speaking. There's some variation but the ability to turn on/off empathy is a key one. Actually, there's a 2013 study using MRIs that demonstrates that criminally convicted ASPD diagnosed persons are, upon direction, able to respond to tragic or empathy-inducing images differently. The natural state for them is off but it is able to turn on. www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-empathic-brain/201307/inside-the-mind-psychopath-empathic-not-always This article condenses the general findings but, thus far, has not been debunked to my knowledge. It was a small study, admittedly, but it's also a small population to draw from. For those saying 'a real psychopath would never admit to this online' -- seriously, what's the risk? People believe you and either avoid or are interested, either of which can be interesting for a while, or people disbelieve you and then it's an amusement because you know what you are. It can't really impact your career in a sense because either you find a career where your diagnosis is valuable -- and there's many -- or you're probably not going to last long in that job anyway because chronic boredom + impulsivity will get you every time. Even if you work on it, it's a hard, hard thing to work past that particular issue. Frankly, I think she could have belabored how crushingly bored you can get and how that leads to disengaging or re-engaging negatively.
psychopathy is a spectrum and ASPD falls in the part of the spectrum where people aren’t functioning properly because of it. The vast majority of those who score highly in the psychopath test are high functioning and contribute to society. I’m no psychopath but I understand that psychopaths aren’t ‘evil’. The problem with these people isn’t their lack of conscience, it’s their lack of impulse control. At least, from what I’ve read, these are people who lack the executive functions necessary to delay gratification, to foresee consequences, to use theory of mind, to have self awareness, etc. Dr Russell Barkley, a leading expert on ADHD, pointed out that many sociopaths tend to have untreated ADHD and Conduct Disorder so I believe ASPD, and all cluster B personality disorders, involve issues with executive function. In other words, it’s neurological, not a moral failing. Still, don’t use it as an excuse to be a dick.
I applaud you for posting this! Being transparent about your ASPD is so refreshing and nice to hear. My brother is extremely sociopathic but IS dangerous and violent and on drugs. I’ve always well understood the signs and symptoms of a sociopath but always believed they could NOT get better or could NOT ever seek out help/therapy to become better without a court order (my brother.) I am not ignorant to mental illness and myself have been diagnosed with MDD and MAD however it is nice to learn and clearly see that a sociopath can infact acknowledge and accept their diagnosis and be game for therapy/meds whatever it takes to lead the most normal life possible. Thank you for shining light on this! It is very much needed to be correctly understood and to realize there are various degrees of severity with sociopathic behavior. ❤️❤️👌🏻
It's excellent that you did this video, especially by referencing the DSM-V, so that people really do understand what ASPD really is. And, characteristically, it is demonstrated differently by different people with different personality types. I especially LOVE the fact that you highlighted the difference between a sociopath and psychopath, describing the limbic system and difference in brain structure. I wish you all the best in your upcoming marriage. I'd like to ask you a question. What type of occupation, job or career are you interested in pursuing; assuming you'd like to? Thanks! Looking forward to Part II of this video!
Ray's Dad I hear what your saying but the type of people you're describing wouldn't have a family reunion and they wouldn't be at one either. So that's not your family
I still think that the demonizing of the cluster b disorders is ridiculous because even though so many people are hurt by people who have cluster b personality disorders it doesn't mean that it's healthy to demonize the whole group. It's like saying that all immigrants are bad people because some people have been hurt by immigrants.
because all of the cluster b disorders can be helped with CBD (cognitive behavioral therapy). Just saying all narcissists and psychopaths are bad people undermines the work that many people are willing to do to work on their disorders. Most of us have been abused in childhood and are trying to recover just like everyone else.
Typos in the brain from personal experience I would say npds are way worse than people with aspd, as people with npd aim to make the person miserable and insecure whilst the others just manipulate and use people but dont cause as much emotional pain
What this girl describes as "cognitive empathy" sounds similar to what Sam Vaknin, who is diagnosed with ASPD and NPD describes as "cold empathy". He wrote great books on the subject of personality disorders and has channels on UA-cam. You guys should do an interview with him
So glad you showed that we’re not all crazy hurtful people. I haven’t been diagnosed myself but I’m looking into it so I can get some insight into how to feel better about it. I’m glad you mentioned about caring for people close to you because that is a huge thing people misconceive about ASPD - as if they care about no one and they’re just blank which is not true. We can feel guilt and fear but not on the scale of ordinary people. And we can understand emotion but just not necessarily feel them (or feel as intensely). And there is clearly big differences. You can choose to manipulate and lie whereas someone like me does it 24/7 no matter who it is. Each symptom is clearly on a scale. Like I barely break the law (as in sometimes I go over the speed limit and I have stolen and broken a few things) but I don’t start fights in the street or hurt people because that’s just way too much hassle to deal with. Thank you for showing that we’re all different
This is awesome. Thank you for making this video! I never ever tell people about my “cluster b” disorder because they automatically assume I’m trying to destroy their life...ain’t nobody got time for that. My life doesn’t revolve around destroying yours, Brenda!!! I love this. *subscribed*
Ok so obviously I’m here from Shane’s video, like everyone else 😂 His whole video made me feel like sociopaths & people with Aspergers (like myself) are REALLY similar, but from this video I’m not seeing that similarity at all. I’m so confused 😂
this is the most simplified explanation ever but Aspergers = difficulty understanding social norms, or sometimes not desiring human connection in the same way but no desire to manipulate or harm others and usually care about their inner circle of family/friends/partner. ASPD understand social norms possibly better than most people but don't care about others, have no problem with harming others if it benefits them / they can get away with it
Super sweet, informative and destigmatizing! It's beyond frustrating to see low-empathy mental disorders being sensationalized again by supposed professionals. My longest relationship was with someone diagnosed with ASPD and he was one of the most caring and affable men towards his loved ones without even trying. Hopefully more open-hearted people see this. PS Calliope deserved better RIP
You don't really have to try when you already know that person inside and out for years at that point. And considering how ASPD don't suffer from anxiety or embarrassment of course it comes off as effortless.
I came here from Shane's video and I'm glad I did -- the therapist he featured kind of put people with ASPD into a really tiny box and talked about them as though they're not people too, and you really explained the disorder better.
I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I am not a monster. I am working through everything that has been difficult and trying to be better and not let my past control me. It is not easy.
I’m so glad you clarified things. This genuinely helped, my best friend is bipolar with ASPD, and she is hands down the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. I know she has cognitive empathy and I know that she feels empathy for myself and her close family. However my ex, who was horribly abusive to me also has ASPD. To me, having known them both personally and being close to them, it was hard to find any similarities in behavior. My best friend was never hurtful or cruel to me like my ex was. This helps me see what are REAL symptoms of hers, and to know how to support her through it. Best of luck with all aspects of your health. :)
I also have ASPD,. Home invasion at 12, arson at 13, abusive towards animals and people, Lie all the time, manipulate, use superficial charm, very impulsive, violent thoughts, violent crimes, lack of empathy for others, lack of emotion, no remorse, no guilt, no shame, cant hold down a job, big time drug user and drinker, very reckless, extreme bordem, but no i don't wanna die lol, others? Could care less, but myself absolutely not, i hate not being in control of the situation also, also ASPD have high narcissistic traits and its all about me and not you, i also scored a 38 out of 40 on the hare test and very low functioning.
Milk Boy Neither was the girl in Shane’s video, I don’t remember what she is qualified for but she has only read what ASPD is from the textbook she didn’t fully study it. I love Shane but he should have gotten someone with ASPD or who actually studied or given therapy to people with ASPD
i came from Shane's video and i feel like they had so much stuff wrong. they were making everyone with this disorder seem evil.I was prescribed a psychiatrist by my doctor because my doctor believes that my mental health is making me physically sick, i go see her Monday and i'm scared so i've been watching a bunch of videos like these lol i'm glad to know you are giving out the correct information.
I was intrigued by you from Shane’s video. This was well done. I have BPD and I understand the stigma. Not everyone who has these disorders can be shoved in a box and written off as crazy. It’s a broad spectrum of symptoms and depends solely on the person and how they interpret their condition/the world around them. Well done.
Thank you. I've been diagnosed as a psychopath recently. I had no idea. I thought that this was it, the end for me. I'm crazy and no one will understand. You helped me understand myself. Thank you.
For those asking... Even though people with ASPD don't usually "feel" emotions, they can still have the Desire to feel, cognitive empathy (which is very powerful), and still care for others in an objective manner. They may "love" someone through objectively admiring their traits and enjoying how they interact with that person. It is in a different way, but that admiration is still very real.
As for lying... it's a mixed bag. It's very personal to the person and their diagnosis. But it isn't fair to just assume that nothing a person with ASPD says is true. They Are still people. You can't just dehumanize someone because of a mental illness out of their control.
Yes exactly cognitive empathy is very powerful.
-Iris
Please please please comment this exact thing on Shane's video! I have loved ones that are sociopaths and it's very clear that they can feel their own feelings through cognitive empathy. They aren't human robots like they're made out to be in Shane's video. Everyone's individual personality plays such a huge role in how sociopathy presents itself in that person.
Me too! One of my closest friends is a schizophrenic sociopath, and I hate that just the title terrifies people. It breaks my heart for her and all other heavily stigmatized disorders
@@Emily-jx9ru yeah it's honestly so disheartening that heavily stigmatized disorders make it automatically okay to write off someone as completely inhuman. Is the saying not 'to err is human'? Because in that respect mental disorders make you even more human...idk.
Andrew Matthews
Yeah it’s a waste of time to sympathise with them. It’s better to not be sucked in.
I’m glad this video exists. It clears up a lot of misconceptions that Shane’s video had. I’m glad you made it known that it’s on a spectrum and that there’s varying degrees of empathy and relationships that sociopaths have.
Kam S exactly, this is a lot more educational. Shane’s video was too overgeneralised and didn’t explain that it’s on a spectrum
Right, as much as I like Shane and his video, but they made it seem as people with antisocial personality disorder are not really people at all.
Luci's Videos it's a shame really, because it dehumanised all people with that disorder, and really doesn't show that not all of them have it in such extremity that they would want to hurt/kill people
@@farlandergirlyeah, I was super weirded out by how the therapist was portraying the topic, and how colloquial she was speaking about it. I don't wanna hate on her or anything, but it just didn't really sound scientific to me at all, regarding the fact she studied this, and is working in this field. But maybe she just wanted to make it more understandable for Shane, and it just kind of went in the wrong direction.
Luci's Videos I think it was more of a discussion about it for her because they weren't in her office having an official session, so what she was saying was a bit more opinion based, but shane really didn't make that clear at all, instead making it seem like all o the things she was saying were official facts which kinda annoys me tbh
Who's here after watching Shane's vid?
Edit: Thanks for the likes guys!
Horacio Cabrera me
what Shane vid?
Ma lmao
Me
Lol me too
As a therapist watching this video I’m actually pretty impressed with your knowledge, very well explained. Thanks for sharing
🤗
@DJ Warning GP
dont know wehn i hear peppole with aspd i am sad for them
@DJ Warning GP Sounds more like bi polar. There are many types my friend has it and she feels like you do sometime she cares too much.
Stephen Eccles please do not self diagnose. many disorders have overlapping symptoms. if you’re really concerned talk to a doctor.
Stephen Eccles seeking professional help isn’t making it someone else’s problem though. i’m glad you are going to see a doctor.
Hi i’m actually Iris’s friend and she’s quite a lovely person.
if you came here from shane to hate, kindly leave. Iris is wonderful and she talks about stuff like this to educate people.
LOVE YOU
I see no one here hating on her.
Yeah the amount of support we’re getting is amazing we’re so grateful.
-Laura
Just wanted to keep things positive! ❤️
she seems really lovely!
"I'm not going to lie to you..."
3 min later
"I lie all the time..."
😘
Well at least we know that she's for sure a liar.
It's when someone tells you that "I ALWAYS LIE" that one gets confused with how to proceed.
She didn't lie she is a liar. I took a note of it too :)
She's lying about having an ASPD diagnosis. She wants attention.
Brian Mahoney with what fucking proof shit head
Literally here from Shane’s video
Same
same
yesss! me.
sameee
sameeee
I've watched this video twice and two things have become apparent to me:
1. A lot of the symptoms of ASPD make a lot of sense when you view them as a poor coping mechanism arising from trauma
2. The label 'functioning' really is just a measure of how useful you are to society
I thought so too, it might just be unresolved trauma.
Not only how useful you are to society, but how functional you are in your relationships, in managing your own quality of life
@@sielukettu thats potencialize it for sure. But the thing is genetic, just like in any disorder. Its naive, over overstimate ambiental factors.
Much of the time it comes down to what you got found out for. If anyone know half the shit I did as a teen i'd be in prison. Now I work in business and Finance.
This is so helpful! It cleared up a lot of misconceptions from Shane’s video especially with the difference from sociopathy and psychopathy. It’s super educational from someone with first-hand experience. I’m really glad you made it clear that it’s a spectrum and not just black and white
It is actually black and white
lauchzwiebel So your either a psychopath or a sociopath?
lauchzwiebel how? The therapist in Shane’s video made it seem like they literally can’t empathize at all. Where as in this video she brought up that it’s (for her and I’m sure thousands of others) is somewhat circumstantial. There’s a few other examples she in this video but you get the point.
Kitty M good stuff
lauchzwiebel not to mention there are high functioning sociopaths. She did not once mention that. She made them look like absolute monsters.
I love Shane, but he dramatised the disorder and I believe mislead a lot of people on the true definitive meaning of ASPD
i agree, but i dont think it was intentional tbh. i think he believes what he put in his video.
Italian Chair of course he didn't, everything he put in his video was what he believed was the truth 100% Just some people were confused
Madison Hagan just like the movie "Split" did...👎🏻
Shane dramatises everything
emma jayne she didn’t get the list off the internet.. she was using the DSM-5, the universal guide for diagnosing mental disorders. All clinicians use it.
I came from Shane’s video, thank you for giving me more insight that there are multiple levels of this disorder.
Just got done watching that video
Same
What video?
I didn’t like that he cut her clips so they were used out of context
Jill Marie I’m not saying that he did, I just wanted to watch it to get a better insight. I’m not saying he did it in an ill willed way like most of the people in the comment section
Wow just found this, my mental health team thinks I may have ASPD, and you made it sound so much less horrible than the rest of youtube, and made it easier to understand! Thank you :) (I know this video is a year old so you probably won't see this!)
Hey! I've also been diagnosed with ASPD, Bipolar type 2, and Anxiety Disorder and ASPD definitely has the largest effect on my life and I do experience cognitive empathy
I'll just say that you are totally still able to live a great, productive and even caring life as an individual with ASPD.
There are many times where I've looked back on the many jobs that I have lost and quit, I look at friendships ended, family lost and opportunities missed...
And though there is all of that to regret, one thing I do not have, is regret.
I live the life that I love and do it with the people that I enjoy being around, most everyone close to me in my life does know about my disorder and that helps them to understand why I do what I do so I tend to get in a lot less trouble now than when I was younger.
Stay positive, and know that most people will never understand, but honestly, the few others I know who also have ASPD are all close friends, (a meeting with 3 or more openly sociopathic individuals is possibly the greatest party of all time) because we're all actually good people, we just happen to be completely different than most.
Oh god I think I might have it too.... This is a hard pill to swallow. But everything she is saying sounds exactly like me. Except for the boredom and not carring if I die or others. I would care if I put my life or others in danger. But I literally have never felt others emotions but I can understand how and why they're feeling hurt. But everything else she said aounds like me.
Yippee, we’re all gonna die!!!
Jojo Indigo Sometimes it could be other things if not everything matches up. A lot of stuff could end you up without empathy and stuff.
@@summerdelossantos4655 Thanks. I feel bad for others and am able to care I just legit can't "feel them."... Idek how to explaim it. Like I can empathize and care for others but can equally treat others like absolute shit without understanding how terrible I've made them feel because I'm not sure I can relate. Mabe I'm just a piece of shit...
Who's here from Shane's video?
YES!!!!
MEEEEEEEEEE
I did 😂
me
Stranger Things me
Soooooo I’m here from Shane Dawson’s video.... as a lot of people are I suppose. But I wanted to say a few things that I really appreciate about the video. First off I love your hair girl you look amazing, and so secure in who you are. I appreciate how you accepted the diagnosis and instead of using it as a tool or something, you focused on bettering yourself. I really admire how you brought up that ASPD was put up as this scary thing when people with ASPD are just that: people. And so many therapists and such diagnose and dehumanize. I am kinda wondering myself if I struggle with narcissism or psychopathy or sociopathy but I don’t want to be opened up and dehumanized by someone who doesn’t know me and doesn’t care about me for any reason besides that they are paid to care.
You can look into things like cognitive behavioral therapy it helped me allot
-Iris
I will be totally honest I was not expecting my comment to get noticed at all. So thanks for responding. I have tried to go to a therapist before but it always felt threatening, not like in a way where I was scared, but where the therapist seemed to me to be mal-intentioned towards me not to expose me, but to make me a trophy on their wall and make me their good work they could parade. Now that is a lot less sociopathic to me, but I still feel little empathy for say a girl who is crying, it makes me wanna say “shut up, seriously stop making a scene and stop trying to grab attention.” Now of course one can’t say that out loud, but it just never bugged me that they were crying, but more that they were causing a huge commotion. And I struggle to not manipulate people. I know I’m not supposed to do it, but it’s way harder to stop doing it, and in some cases I feel like I just don’t wanna. I grew up with the kind of manipulation that makes you think you are crazy and now, I became a lot better at it than I should be. So I don’t know if I even should be worried about this at all, I don’t really think I fit all the signs.
Also I don’t guess therapy would work for me because I could never bring myself to tell the therapist the truth all the way. I tried. And I know, I know. You gotta be truthful with your therapist to get help. But honestly to me it seems like it does nothing but give them power over me.
Yeah I do agree. It took me a really long time to find a therapist. You can only work with people who view you as human.
-Iris
Not to mention that I remain totally uninterested in therapy that basically blankets anyone with ASPD as hopeless and ‘incurable’. Really it’s the same as anyone else. You can only really cure them if they want you to. But also I feel like ‘curing’ is a bad term because you should never be trying to cure who you are. I kinda see it like if I am a sociopath that means that I can go in and do the emotional stuff that nobody else can handle. Chameleons are dangerous to their prey and as you said in the video ASPD makes a person terrifying if you mess with people they actually care about. I’m sorry, I guess I’m just parroting what your video said. Long story short I have tendencies and abilities that look sociopathic to certain people (myself included) and I appreciate your video saying hey as a diagnosed sociopath, we’re human too.
I literally came to this video because I wanted to get a better insight on ASPD, because of Shane's 8 part series. And I'm watching this video and I'm just like what was Kati talking about????? They are constantly lying and don't feel any emotion? She obviously feels emotion...….As she says in the video they aren't all monsters and I think more people learning about this disorder should watch this video because she has a way better insight and tells the actual truth.
My dad is a sociopath n I completely agree, i hate how scary shane is making it seem
I came here from Shane's video too. I think it was wrong for Kati to say sociopaths are all bad and creepy. That is unfair to people trying to cope with, and be treated for, this disorder.
Thanks for the video Iris.
@@23daisydew I don't think its his intent but I think that he should have talked to someone with it instead of a therapist.
@@ChimneyMcSmokesalot thank you for the explanation but she probably should have gave a better explanation on the types you can have because that is where the confusion started
Null Can you stop we that nonsense, if Iris is the host she will be dx as ASPD just because she is ONE personality does not make her less than someone with this without DID. (Also stop 'outing' their System on a very public video, as they will end getting hateful and ignorant comments on top of this.)
The way the therapist presented it in Shane's video was like 1 in 25 "gross/icky" monsters are living among us. This helped me understand that these people are human and some people just have stronger/different tendencies than others. Thanks so much.
After watching this video I don't know what to think... Shane really demonized people with ASPD and I don't feel like it was his fault, more like the psychologist's fault for how she unprofessionally described the disorder. She really made it out like people with ASPD are demonic almost. I hope more people see this video to get a cleaer understanding of what it's like
Therapist should be there to help not hurt.
-Iris
Exactly! I had to come over here to actually understand what the disorder was and how someone deals with it. Cause these disorders are not creepy or nasty I feel like that's ignorant and offensive to people going through that
@@nataliadejesus1764 YES. None of these disorders are inherently like evil or creepy and she made it out to sound like that! It's offensive to paint an entire demographic of individuals as evil robot ppl.
@@isabellaraymundo7142 right! I had to stop the video and talk to my little brother because he was saying the drama in the video made him so confused and slightly uneasy. Where it should be more informative
@@OliviaKrailo thank you so much for making this video. You have made it clearer not only for others with this disorder but also for people learning about it.
I came here to get a better inslight, because I felt as if the woman from shanes video was making out everone with ASPD to be a monster. And I wanted to come here and have a better look and understanding on how not all people with ASPD are monsters with no feelings and evil intentions.
THOT PATROL he wasn’t meaning to make them look like a monster but I get what you mean
I feel the same. I wish Shane would have linked her channel in the description box.
Angela Nicole I wasn't saying that shane meant it to be like that, but I felt as if the woman explaining ASPD was only saying the worst parts, or the worst outcomes if that makes any sense.
THOT PATROL okay in that cause I do understand but those were just the list of symptoms. Not everyone shares the same ones extremely or mildly. I like the way this video explains it, they should have added more of it in.
I feel like there are different extent of ASPD. Shane was trying to highlight the worst case scenario for emphasis.
Maybe you don't care, but I think you're really brave for having the boldness to put this out into the world.
Andrew Matthews she said she had an anxiety disorder.
@@andrewmatthews6263 people with ASPD still experience emotions lmao, empathy is just 1 emotion and people with ASPD (or other low empathy disorders) don't just lack every emotion ever, another point that Shane really glossed over
thank you so much! I've been looking all over for aspd from the point of view of someone with aspd, and it's ridiculously hard to find! the world needs to hear your voices and see that your not one collective person, that aspd individuals aren't monsters, seriously thank you so much!
Same here! I was bombarded by sensationalist videos that demonized aspd so I had a lot of misconceptions before channels like Cringey and Creepshow art linked Fae and other aspd youtubers
The boredom you described sounds a lot like the emptiness that comes with chronic depression. You just feel nothing at all and you’ll do anything to feel again. That’s where self harm comes in for a lot of people.
Oh god, I agree.
Is it normal to feel empty and wrathful?
@@urmomissupercool9863 I think so. I have no diagnosis for any mental ilness, but I definitely felt empty and rage was one of the rare emotions I could feel. And any interaction with people could trigger it on my worst days
Yeah it’s basically severe depression minus the low energy.
Sorry, know this is a little old but for anyone that sees this, I'd just like to clarify the above. While the description of the boredom does sound like the emptiness that comes with depression, it is a whole different ballpark from that type of boredom. The way that you described it, whether you meant it or not, "sounds like emptiness", which from personal experience I don't think I agree with. While there is boredom, It's not that activity is unfulfilling, because depending on the activity it is fulfilling, fun, all that jazz, however, we just become bored extremely quickly with a certain task/topic. So it's genuinely fun for the short time we find it fun, but after that, we just lose interest in it.
It's why we do so bad at school and at work for example, for the first week of doing a subject or particular job at work, we genuinely find that shit fun and interesting and it brings a sense of fulfillment. However after however long, typically quite a short time, let's say, the math subject we are learning becomes boring to us, working at the cash register becomes boring for us, driving a forklift becomes boring for us. It isn't emptiness, just a rapid decline in fulfillment.
I do however have to agree, it sucks not being able to do shit because those few people you care about, you care about them seeing you decline or hurting them by living a parasitic lifestyle or not having a stable enough life. If I couldn't wish for being able to remove my ASPD, I would wish to not feel anything for anyone at all just so I could then avoid feeling like shit every time I think about my mate. So I could not necessarily be happy, but at least not be sad.
So glad I found this from Shane’s video. Very no opinion only facts type of video and I feel a lot more informed on the topic, thank you.
This video is wonderful. I think the therapist in Shane’s video was talking about the “Low Functioning” part of the diagnosis. The full blown version. The behaviors of that are gross. I was married to one who manipulated and terrorized me for years. Iris does not strike me as the same kind of person. She recognizes and accepts her diagnosis and chooses to work from that seeing it for what it is and being able to talk about it. My ex? Never in a million years. He was all the things in the DSM V to the extreme. I feared for my life just enough, I would be manipulated, started to feel comfortable again, and then WHAM. Right back into fear mode. I’m an empath like Shane is. I can see where he is coming from. And I can see Iris. She is not what my ex was. Same diagnosis. Different places on the spectrum of it. She sees it. My ex refused.
Wow, you described the way I have felt for the past 8 and a half yr around my child’s father. He is violent and he would try to push me to the edge and I would snap sometimes. I also experience” gas lighting”, it was a constant fear and then he would swoop in and tell me that he was sorry and that he would try harder and it would seem like it and then BAM the cycle all over again. I’m leaving because I don’t want my kids growing up in a neglectful and violent household. By the way, his family knows how he is and they have seen what he’s done to me but they don’t take it seriously and well I can’t force them, I have to take action myself and remove my kids and I from this toxic person. I feel like I have to be two different people. One person when he’s around and and then the exhausted and broken one when he’s not present left to pick up the pieces. By the way I don’t think he has ASPD but he is very aggressive and he is manipulative, cold and careless when he doesn’t get what he wants.
Just an FYI the " therapist"in Shane's video has her own UA-cam channel idk if she is an actual therapist or not
Kati Morton is a therapist, but I don't think ASPD is what she specializes in. She generally has pretty good videos, but it's clear that she mostly followed DSM and the symptoms are pretty creepy, if you just read about them.
Isirian well also this is Shane's video, not hers. They talked for 5hours. She did not decide what to cut or what to edit, Shane did. We never know what happens behind the curtains
I dont like kati. kati said in the latest video that she specialized in eating disorders and something else that has nothing to do with the sociopaths or pyschopaths. i love shane but like what the fuuuuckkkk. he needs to get a therapist that specializes in the shit he’s getting into because she just keeps making herself look bad
Here because we learned about this in my psych class and honestly want to know more
Me too lol
Same lol
Tbh Shane should have interviewed you instead of that Kati girl.
She’s not even licensed.
-Iris
Fae System Wait really? I thought she said she was. She bouta get sued for lying about that.
Fae System well I think she is she’s just not a psychiatrist she’s a therapist
As far as I know, she is licensed, but I don't think her ASPD is her expertise and I was kinda disapointed in her in Shane's video. I watch her channel and I think she had good intentions, but two things prevented a good outcome. A) She researched ASPD, but that would probably generally lead her to sources talking about people with ASPD in an unflattering light. B) Shane's editing was waaaaaay to dramatic, the music, the fonts, his attitude... These two things combined really didn't put anyone, Kati and Shane included, in a good light.
she's most definitely licensed. dont spread lies because you didnt like what she had to say
As another female with ASPD I am so glad to see someone speaking out and making the term more accessible and less stigmatised, we aren’t the monsters we are made out to be, we’re just a different kind of person
water tastes so good what is wrong with you, unless someone has actually harmed someone extremely seriously they dont deserve death
Yep rarely do you see the female POV of this disorder which varies a bit from the male. I've never related to someone as much as I do with this girl.
“Regular” people manipulate each other all the time, everyone’s doing their best don’t shit on them for existing
water tastes so good
I think you may be a psychopath yourself.
@water tastes so good you do know that EVERY one is a socialpath in some way or another. (Think about it like this if someone was trying to harm your family like the purge Would you protect them by any means?.)
I hope that everyone here understands that this person has suffered a lot in their life, especially their childhood if you check their channel, because they have DID, which forms because of severe child trauma.
Why do you keep saying their?
*UnoDosTrees* Idk if this is the actual reason, but I have seen a number of people refer to those with DID as "they/them", referring to their system
@@magmaera Mostly because I don't want to assume someone's gender and because of the DID.
Mariana Zamora yeah, most people with DID use their/them because multiple beings in one body so multiple genders sometimes xx
she doesn't give me bad vibes. she gives me keep her in eyesight vibes.
Lmaoooo right
Ones Narcissistic. Bad vibes come from the false self, not all ASPD is comorbid, this is an old wives tale.
All cluster B peeps have grandiosity. That's the difference.
Here from Shane’s video. The therapist or whatever she is kept referring to people with this diagnosis as “gross,” “creepy” and “weird.” Watching this video made me even more disgusted by her comments.
she said the symptoms were gross/weird
Pernille Jensen she was trying to get on Shane's level and Shane is a very emotional, anxious person. Not the best call but understandable
she said their symptoms are weird and gross, and that is a fact. manipulation and lying will never be cute or okay. call it what it is, creepy and weird
Yeah...
She was so unprofessional!
Great job making this video. I also found it through Shane's video after feeling compelled to leave an essay-length comment there attempting to correct some of the misinformation and admittedly also engaging in a little game of guess the disorder the Jake brothers have which I suspected I really shouldn't have and watching your video confirmed that for me. I should have stuck to trying to explain ASBD in a more sensitive and accurate way.
The therapist in that video did nothing but dehumanise and demonise people with ASBD and didn't seem to know an awful lot about it, as for instance the fact that it runs on a spectrum. She also seemed to think that sociopaths were incapable of emotion which of course is twaddle. I have been dedicated to the study of 'abnormal' psychology for roughly 20 years with dissociative disorders and cluster B personality disorders as my main focus. High functioning 'sociopaths' were not even mentioned in that video and I found the language used to be needlessly damaging. I couldn't even see a link to this video is the description despite the use of your clip.
I am so glad you mentioned the different kinds of empathy as that something else I tried to explain and so many people don't know. Also glad you talked about how sociopaths are made and psychopaths are born. Anyway, your perspective was very interesting so thank you for speaking about this. I don't have ASPD but I do have BPD and other mental illness so I understand the stigma to a much lesser degree. I'm also a system though there is no communication between alters here. I hope that you continue to make videos about ASPD, DID and whatever else you feel moved to discuss.
I have a question. Are there high functioning sociopaths that genuinely want to fit in with society and do whatever they can their whole lives to do so or will they always just appear to be a good person with a hidden agenda?
This video W A S linked in the description of Shane's video, [Because otherwise I - and many others wouldn't have been able to find it], other than that I agree with you.
she says in this video she doesn’t care about what happens to herself or anyone else and has no remorse. in shane’s video they simply talked about the symptoms, if it seemed to dehumanise them it’s only because the symptoms are in themselves dehumanising.
ASPD runs on a spectrum Lot's of people with ASPD lead 'normal' decent lives and actively seek self-improvement. A pretty big percentage of surgeons, CEO's even mental health professionals are high functioning sociopaths.Not just these professions of course but they are good example professions. The way people with ASPD were spoken about in Shane's video made them all out to be A, the same which is beyond silly and B, all hopeless cases and terrible monsters which is inaccurate, damaging, and incredibly unprofessional. Iris said that she can care about some people and it's more than just people with ASPD that lack might not really care about upsetting a stranger. Look anywhere on the internet.
Yes, there are high functioning people with ASPD that learn cognitive empathy and live according to that. Not being able to feel a feeling like emotional empathy or guilt yet still choosing to live in an ethical way is a choice many people with ASPD make.
It's interesting how she explained how she would never lie to her fiancee and close friends. You would expect someone to say "I wouldn't lie to my fiancee and my closest friends, because they're the world to me". But her innate explanation was "I wouldn't lie to my fiancee and my closest friends because they don't give me a reason to".
a dank lord creepy as fuck
Idk everyone is saying how high functioning she is and not a threat and blah blah blah...she def could be a threat if she felt she wanted to be
@@kritkratt6383 We could all be a threat if we decided to be.
I know, she literally showed she’s one without meaning too. Like shit she could of even manipulated her personality in this.
Basically her friends have to walk around on egg shells for fear that she might manipulate them. I can't get past the fact that she tries to indicate that she is not dangerous & says she would never kill anyone, but on the other hand says that she would not care if somebody died as a result of her actions. How is that any less terrifying? 😂
You’re a thoughtful ambassador for those with ASD. That you’d seek treatment at all means you are way ahead of the curve. I wish you much success and happiness.
ASPD* asd is autism.
I have BPD (also high functioning) and I've noticed that Cluster B's are demonized in an outrageously unfair way, but we all have this desire and Need to protect each other. I know all of us have the potential to Really hurt others, most of us don't want to do that.
I'm sorry that Shane's video featured you and both he and the psychologist ended up painting ASPD in a really dark and automatically evil light. It probably will make your life harder for a while. I wish it was easier to be treated as human And have a Cluster B disorder.
I have a question. What is cluster B? I was gonna google it but then I realized that oh wait it’s not like google is gonna explain this fairly. So my question to you as one person to another who sees the negative light it gets, what is cluster b? And what is it from the inside? Pardon the stupid question.
That's not a stupid question at all! Cluster B is characterized by identity instability, emotional instability, and impulsive behavior. It includes BPD, HPD, ASPD, and NPD.
ALL of these have their own spectrum of diagnosed characteristics and have to be diagnosed by a senior psychiatrist. We all tend to group together and defend each other because we all have such a heavy stereotype that we are abusers or that is not a Real disorder, we're just awful people. There are some amazing youtubers (like Iris) who explain their individual experiences with each disorder.
The problem: a large number of violent criminals have Cluster B personality disorders. However, most people with Cluster B personality disorders aren't necessarily violent criminals. Lots of murderers and rapists are sociopaths. However, so are a lot of corporate CEOs, therapists, teachers, etc. A fair amount of murderers (especially people who hurt their own spouses and children) have BPD. However, I personally know at least two people with BPD diagnoses that are loving mothers and have been in long-term relationships with their spouses (one is still married to their spouse and they've been together 15 years). And they would never even dream of hurting their spouses or children.
People who are high-functioning with Cluster B disorders can have relatively normal lives. They might have problems, and maintaining long-term relationships can be super difficult. But they do it, because it's important to them.
It's the low-functioning ones that give everyone a bad name.
I have BPD and I get really scared of people knowing I have it. The last thing I want to do is hurt people. I am high functioning but what really gets me as Iris said is the constant terrible boredom and emptiness, and the crazy mood changes. I also have crazy emotional empathy that it will make me go in a rut from feeling someones pain. its frustrating and hard as all things are with BPD. Sending love, I know its hard
To be fair, Shane went to her for information and she gave him negative (also opinionated and cherry picked) information and made it out to be scary. Shane was just editing based off the info she gave him which wasn’t very good info
Congrats you’re in Shane Dawson’s video!!!
TEA your profile pic 😂
Hi It’s Pippa yas sister!
Crushed Belette what the hell? All she’s doing is making a video about the disorder. Don’t hate on her just because of this. This is why Shane’s video is so ridiculous.
Ok I bursted out laughing when I saw your profile pic 😂
Seems like Shane did exactly what she didn’t want people to do when making videos or discussing sociopaths. He played scary music and the therapists called them creepy & gross overall- the vibe was that they’re bad people. Not saying I disagree with them but I don’t think this girl would like that portrayal of her diagnosis
Katie Morton just created more stigma around personality disorders. As someone with BPD this sucks. She didn't even highlight anything that humanizes people with aspd. It's like they walked out of hell how they talk about it. And now everyone and their mother is diagnosing people. Ugh.
Big mood
-Iris
Honestly I was terrified that Katie was going to mention BPD and spread even more false information. It fucking sucks.
What did kati say about bpd that was adding to the stigma?
O sol é acima i think shes made a few vids abt it, they werent great but ive seen worse
Jason Nevill
I thought kati was different until I saw her in Shane’s video and realised she isn’t different from the rest who are “professionals”
I cannot explain the relief I felt when you said you were engaged. I am currently dating someone who has told me that she is a sociopath and I want to learn about it. Knowing that you are engaged and you are in a relationship gives me hope!!
Well the thing is that you shouldn't be relieved just yet... Be on guard just in case... See the thing with sociopaths is that they can love... But only intellectually.. And if you get close enough... Somewhat emotionally but not as much as normal folk which is a huge thing if we consider that were. Dealing with someone who doesn't have empathy for the most of the world .... So if she does love you intellectually... That's the sociopath version of feeling love if you will and I think you might have a healthy relationship. With its downs as any relationship of course... But then again... Depending on her upbringing she might be of the more selfish kind and just trick you so be on guard... ... 😅 you're in a tough situation my friend. Don't get too attached and always be cautious. Have a plan in case she secretly steals or harms you in other ways. If you can't help you feelings for her it's good to regulate them and not let them make you act foolish. If she's of the malevolent kind she is all about the power struggle and mind games and she won't mind about destroying you in any type of way the moment you're useless to her agenda...
As someone who's been there, I would advise you to RUN FOR YOUR LIFE. You will only get hurt as they don't care about anyone but themselves. You will be lied to, deceived and manipulated. It's abuse
Wonderful video!! As a psychologist I hope to show this to my clients that I work with. Very educational and relatable.
This means so much thank you!!
-Iris
Thank you for this after Shane's video I was worried but thanks for breaking this down it was super educational
I love Shane to bits but now I'm not sure what to belive. I feel like the therapist in Shane's video was to broad and too vague with her use of words. Yes, some people might not feel anything ever, but there are also that do. Thank you for educating some of us on the real definition of the disorder. I hope its smooth sailing and I wish you the best!💕
She was completely wrong
brynn l hahaha. Don’t believe the sociopath. Ever
She did actually talk about how some suffer with only some of the symptoms! 💖
This is what sociopaths want. You to like them and be about them.
@@SoloQSights She wasn't wrong, she was reading directly from a medical book. If anything this girl's wrong because she's just going off prior knowledge. In general believe the board certified and trained therapist ffs.
It's so nice to see that you have so much self-awareness. You hear so many things about personality disorders and how people often lack awareness and don't seek help. Thank you for doing this video :)
Thank you for making this video, it helped me feel a lot less paranoid from Shane’s video and it helped me understand this disorder better. It sounds a lot more normal coming from you and it’s cool that you’re aware and giving out helpful information like this
Lmao
@@memethingz6004 she has no idea what she talking
@@McSeverance I mean I can't really believe what she's saying bc if she really is a sociopath she's maybe lying and manipulating to seem good to others bc sociopaths do that all the time, so whether she is or not I'm not believing her bc I don't know her and I don't have a proof of anything she said
@@cobracommander8133 I just said I don't believe her lmao I don't think soo 😂
@@cobracommander8133 oh ok 😄
BTW, this is a REAL disorder for everyone joking around and making fun of the situation. Also, as a psychology major, if anyone is wondering, you only have to have three of these symptoms to meet the criteria for antisocial personality disorder. Do not diagnose yourself, go to a licensed professional that can diagnose you and get you the help you need! Thank you for the informative video! :)
Sarah Renee I think I have the exact same thing the person in this video has, everything checks out. Should I go find help? Because it's not a problem at all for me rn, but can it become a problem in the future?
whats the help? government money? drugs to dope you up? yawn.....
Nathan Veldstra go see your GP and see if you can get into a psychologist. There may be free or low cost services in your area. It takes a long time to get an appropriate diagnosis. You need a psych that wants to know you and help you be the best version of yourself. It's worth noting many mental illnesses have similar symptoms, but can be very different in the way those symptoms manifest and the reasons why. Although the symptoms may not bother you now, if they start to affect your relationships, work and general happiness it could get harder to change your mindset. CBD and talk therapy, mindfulness techniques can help with all forms of mental illness. Don't jump on the pharmaceuticals unless you think the only other outcome will be your life ending/or your quality of life being extremely low.. the effects are sometimes more disturbing than the illness itself. Good luck mate.
Its not real none of it is.
everyone should ask themselves , do i know why we are lead into believing that a " social norm is a good thing " . a social norm is just a term used against people that do not like being a normal slave in society . if you all think about it enough , search the matter you will see the truth . we are being used so that a select few people can enjoy the good life without actually doing much in life .
Absolutely fascinating. You are such an eloguent speaker. Thank you for sharing your story and breaking down the stigmas around this disorder.
Thanks for sharing. It's rare I get to hear from the sociopath or have one admit it. I have an entire family of cluster bs. My mother is borderline, my father and older sister are overt sociopath, grandma was covert sociopath and younger sister on the milder spectrum of narcissism but she is only one with empathy. The other ones can be evil and sadistic. Very parasitic, violent, and huge violators. They will violate you in any way...steal, lie, spy, snoop, hit, attack friends, destroy things, disrupt peace, cause fights and chaos, spit in your face or food, create discord, triangulate, yell, curse, threaten. I was staved a lot as a child, abused in every way, and evil sister tried to murder me on several occasions. My parents knew and did nothing. They loved the pain she caused me, they fed off that energy too. They rewarded her horrific behavior. She was their prized creation. She went on to have 3 children and tortured them. She has no relationship with them now and they turned out disordered as well. Not as bad as her though. I watched my evil father kick her in the head over and over and over while she screamed and begged for her life. I was maybe 6 years old and she was 8. It was truly horrific. I will never forget it and that is why I can forgive her. I do understand that a cluster B is repressing deep deep traumatic pain in the subconscious. My father is dead now and my sister remembers him as a good father. She disassociated from that trauma and can't recall it. She defends him. Cause I think he was a monster. Although I forgive him too...he was also abused as a child. But so was I and I did not choose that path. My heart is full of love, empathic and I care deeply about all people, animals, and nature. I have been so badly exploited, used and abused in life because of my early childhood programming. I am very withdrawn now, cut all contact with family and toxic friends, and finding myself constantly trying to educate myself about this human condition. I want to protect myself and my daughter so we don't have to suffer anymore. I understand there is spectrum to this and every person and their life experiences and conditioning are different. My family was on the extreme end of it but they weren't criminals or murderers. They did cause much pain to others and got away with all of it. Their number one target was children cause they are innocent and helpless. their own children were perfect victims cause no one would ever hear my cries or help me or my sisters. They were ver controlling and punishing. If you confront their bad behavior they will attack, rage, gaslight, and blame. They won't change. I'm not even sure they know anything is wrong with them. They would never admit they have a problem. I just had to walk away forever and grieve the loss of my family, as dysfunctional as they are. I still love them unconditionally and wish they could heal and find love but I know they cannot and I need to protect myself, love myself, guard my heart, and not allow them in. They feel entitled but they are not. I have taken back my power. I am sorry you have this disorder. I'm fascinated to learn more and better understand it because my family would never admit or share why they do what they do. Im wired up opposite so I can't make sense of it.
You don't call your torturers and attempted murders criminals and murderers?
Not trying to be mean but you can see how those two do not go together.
Came here from Shane’s video- was very interested in what you had to say! You are very brave & I admire your confidence in being this real. A little frightening when you said “you should run” - you morphed from being a thoughtful instructor into something cold there. But that’s part of the disorder right? And at least you know yourself and are self aware. Continue to take care of yourself and be well! -best, Tekla
I’m a cold person. It’s just how I am.
-Iris
The best way to know about all personality disorders is to hear it from the people who have them..Unfortunately most Antisocials and Narcissists won't admit it or get diagnosed, so it's not possible to learn as much about them besides what we hear.. The absolute worse ways to learn about disorders is from youtube "specialists", as they are mostly just salty ex wives and husbands who's partner was a jerk and now they think they are experts on disorders..
It's rare but not that uncommon. People with personnality disorder who have grandiose defenses can become more self-reflective and self-aware if their life circumstances have forced them to do so. (For example after facing time in jail, divorce, unemployement, disability due to aging etc...)
Try Sam Vakin or Vaknik not sure what his surname is, he is diagnosed as Narcissist and shares his thoughts.
I agree, these people always seem so bias.
Antoine2208 yes i've found that those ex spouses and such like to play the victim and act like people who have personality disorders are inherently bad people. it makes me sad for people who have personality disorders, they need love too!
Yes they will lay to you and play the "symptoms" -their traits and their evil personality doun.
"I don't lie or manipulate unless you give me DAMN good reason to" 30 seconds later: "I lie all the time."
I would honestly never trust nor want to be around someone with this
This is pretty Bipolar
Everyone lies all the time. It's part of being human.
I think she could be referring to impulsive lying (perhaps out of boredom or less inhibitions) versus deceitful, planned, and malicious lying for the sake of manipulation to achieve some benefit.
catbeara I hope that's not the case......I rarely lie. I hate lying so much. I do every now and then but it's so infrequent. I really hope the majority of people don't lie "all the time."
I have this thing called Maladaptive Daydreaming and when I saw Katie's video about it everything was so wrong and she even mixed it up with other mental illness. So I totally understand how frustrating it can be.
I’ve never heard of that? Is that something like thinking bad thoughts but not acting in them? Sometimes if someone upsets me I daydream about doing horrible things to them, that I would never do in reality, is it something like that or something else entirely?
@@kbaylor123 no maladaptive daydreaming can be seen as a coping mechanism. Ppl that maladaptive daydream create an inner world of storylines, cartoon characters or the version of themselves that they wish to be. Ppl that md may pace around their rooms while listening to music and daydream for extensive hours. They may rock on their chairs, spin around, jump or do any other kind of movement while md. They do this by themselves bc if other ppl saw them then they would be judged. What triggers someone to md maybe tv shows, movies, comic books, music etc. Maladaptive daydream can be smth a person starts to do and it becomes a maladaptive pattern or in some cases the person may have been doing since childhood- usually due to coping with loneliness, low self esteem, trauma etc. There can be a variety pf reasons why person md. Maladaptive daydreaming is not recognised as a mental illness.
@@kbaylor123 at first I thought you referring to intrusive thoughts but those are unwanted thoughts. It sounds like what you’re describing is you being angry when thinking about hurting someone not anything medically related.
I know Shane made mistakes in his video but really... Looking at this comment section I see an overwhelming percentage of people being positive and genuinely wanting to learn more about this.
For that at least, I think it's a success. He sparked a conversation.
Same it’s amazing
-Iris
There are also people who are unwilling to listen after watching Shane's video. Now they have it in their head that they know what ASPD is all about. I was responding to comments on another guy's video of Shane and the comments went on forever. I grew exhausted and was like fuck it, they can think what they like.
I'm really happy that you posted this video! It seems like no matter where I go on the internet all people with ASPD are considered to be complete monsters. Which doesn't seem very believable to me.
I've also noticed the tendency to use "scary music" in videos about it.
Thank you for making this video. I think you shed a lot of light on the subject. I'll definitely be back if you make a part 2. I do feel like Shane has a right to make his art and should not change it to make anyone happy. The ppl upset aren't sociopaths and the ones that are don't care at all. Or if they do it's only because they don't want to look bad. Because they do have a desire to be liked. Because it's to there advantage...
I don't think Shane's ultimate goal is to "make people happy," though his ultimate goals might benefit from it. Shane's goal is to entertain, and by entertaining he has the potential to meet other goals financially and etc. He entertains by creating content, or "art," as you call it. His objectives when creating content is exposure, views, coverage, etc. He achieves this, like other content creators, by publishing and promoting it; maybe even hyping it up in advance. Why would he do any of this if he wasn't concerned with views and public perception? If his content is not received well, this negatively impacts his views, his future projects, collabs, finances, his relationships, etc.
As far as his critics only caring because they want to be liked and don't want to look bad... Many of the critics are anonymous. They are here, on Twitter, on forums, on Reddit. If they wanted to "look good" to others, why would they be anonymous or not use their real names or even a real picture, such as yourself? Those who are public, are speaking against a very popular and beloved UA-camr, with popular UA-camr friends, and with a very devoted fanbase. Critics are still outnumbered, as evidenced by the like/dislike ratio on his vids and even the amount of likes on comments and videos that criticize him. If their motivation is only to be liked, wouldn't it make sense to SIDE with Shane, given that statistically there are more people who believe him without question and defend him, and given that the majority of people are uneducated and misinformed about mental illnesses? If a person's goal is to be liked and not look bad, they typically side with the MAJORITY; not the minority. A person who speaks against something or someone that is favorably viewed by the majority is viewed as "bad." That is pretty counterproductive for someone whose only concern is to "look good," don't you think?
I know this is really late haha but I love this video! I don’t have ASPD but I do have a cluster B personality disorder (borderline personality) and I love how you show the reality of personality disorders and how not everyone with a PD is harmful or abusive (especially cluster B)! This is really amazing I mean I’ve met people with ASPD when I was in the hospital and they are in no way the type of person that you want to stay away from! Same with all PDs. I love this I hope you’re feeling good these days and thanks so much for making this video 😁👍
I came from Shane's video where I already commented there about how upset I was about how the therapist was talking about ASPD. I cringed every time she said the word "icky." A licensed professional should never refer to a mental illness that way. They are human beings and the goal of the field psychology is to understand the brain as much as we can and try to find treatments for people with all kinds of different disorders. I hope everyone from Shane's video comes to watch this!
Exactly my thoughts!
-Iris
This video was very informative, thank you for sharing. You’re not a monster and your wig is fine, do what tf you want. Keep sharing this information it needs to be acknowledged.
Shane better clear this misconception up..
He said he would In part 3. He said he added something in. I hope he does.
Sis, let's calm it down.
Kayla Anderson He didn’t really clear anything up, he just apologized for making it look like sociopaths are monsters...like very underwhelming
It's sad to me how all the personality disorders get all the bad rep. As someone who has been diagnosed with bpd I have had to deal with my fair share of stigmatism from past friends, family members, and even clinicians. Like we are not all dangerous smh.
Okay, so she lies, engages in illegal activities, is reckless.
Ooo but we get bad rep.
As an alcoholic and drug addict, I have encountered many females in rehab who claim to have borderline personality. They are more dangerous to themselves than anyone else. I find them to be vulnerable and weak. Even so, I also tend to be sexually attracted to them.
If you are dangerous to one person it is enough. Lack of empathy and callousness is dangerous when someone next to you is in a crisis, and you won't even be able to recognize it properly,it just won't ring any bell to you.
When something is not on your personal emotional radar that doesn't mean it doesn't exist thought.
BPD is waaaay different from ASPD. ASPD have a disregard for others well being, they are manipulative liars, deceitful people. BPDs are mostly harmful to themselves not others
Here's a drinking game: go to the comments and take a shot every time someone mentions Shane Dawson's video
Me tonight
-Iris
Elver Galarga Do you want me to die?
That’s death
Does this comment count as one?
R.i.p to me
I love how people are coming from Shanes video and than theres people like me who found this video waaaaaay before because we were curious lol
exactly lol
im like "oh hey I remember that girl"
Alice Lindsay same!
Alice Lindsay yeah I found this video months and months ago just because I wanted to know and understand what the disorder was like. When I saw her I was like “that’s Iris!” Lol I watched more of her videos tho, not just this one.
Thanks for the continued support 💖💖
-Iris
I honestly would be so irritated if I made a video to demystify and destigmatize ASPD and sociopathy, and then the "scary" parts got edited into a video about how creepy and weird and gross people with ASPD/sociopathy/psychopathy are (they used these terms interchangeably and inconsistently).
I generally really like shane: he's funny, kind, caring, and usually insightful about people. But he's really out of his depth on issues of mental illness, and mishandling these topics can have a seriously negative effect on real world people, especially considering how huge his platform is.
agreed 100%
Gillian Corn it’s like he didn’t even watch this video.
Yeah that was a horrible thing for Shane to do and he should be ashamed of that. Unbelievable.
I have Narcissistic Personality Disorder and I relate to a lot of the ASPD symptoms. What you mentioned about ”not caring what happens to yourself” I screamed bc my NPD says the exact opposite lmaooo
i have some narcisistic traits too but wtf no we aint psychopaths we are just too ego and we think we are special or better than the other or be flashers showing our money and shit nothing else dude nothing to do with psychopaths
LMFAO feels
@nn m we wouldn't miss you either. We are all irrelevant specks on a floating rock
@nn m a great person that everyone likes doesn't feel the need to say that plus realistically not everyone likes you sorry to burst your bubble, you're sounding more like a narcissist than me😂
@nn m I don't go out of my way to purposely hurt people myself, I'm not a demon Im a human
After watching Shane´s video I think that the therapist was talking about the disorder in a kind of misleading (?) way.. you know with all the comments about how horrible it is. Seems to me as though she should have mentioned your last point from this video and provide a more neutral opinion (but that might have not fit the narrative, idk). Wondering what you think about it?
I think you are so right, because while we love the chills that creepy diagnoses like that give us, it’s not right to dehumanize anyone, and I feel like she did actually a better job than the therapist of explaining it. And there’s a very key reason why. Kati has tons of experience with it, granted, but none are like this lady went through because Kati is the outside looking in and she is inside giving us a peek into her mind, and how actually sociopaths can be beautiful people all on their own. Different =/= bad.
Null Pathological psychopathy is different from sociopathy though. It's important to remember that sociopathy comes out of trauma, and psychopathy is biological. Shane and Kati are using the term 'sociopathy', and by just simply listing off the symptoms, they made it sound like sociopathy is inherently evil which is very misleading. It's also important to note that although Iris is an alter, she is still her own person. Many people with DID have fractured alters as well as also fully formed alters, and most of the ones that can take spotlight of the host, are fully formed personalities, who are in fact their own person and have a life within the system of the host. So just because Iris is an alter, that doesn't necessarily discredit her from having her own disorders.
@@ChimneyMcSmokesalot Yes, I agree that they're using the term inappropriately and in a misleading fashion. I can also agree to disagree on 'fully formed' alters. They may not be fully formed enough to have a full blown diagnosis necessarily, but since they are separate personalities and do consider themselves to be their own person, I would say they are justified in receiving information that can help understand themselves. Whether that be a mental diagnosis within a diagnosis or otherwise.
(And completely unrelated to anything: if anyone else reads this, can we just look at how civilized all these conversations have been in the comment section of this video?! Why can't fb conversations/debates be this easy?! Sorry, I just like having a normal, informative conversation without drama lol)
shes a sociopath
Null yes! We are fully formed! My only bits missing are my triggers, trauma and certain childlike events. I do everything else... I have a son and a family - your attitude is horrid! You do not know DID/dissociative disorders then...
Nice explanation. My boyfriends a psychologist and he tried explaining this disorder to me after I saw Shane’s video but your video was way clearer about the details of these disorders so thanks for that. I feel bad that his video did such a poor job explaining the disorder. I appreciate you taking the time to explain your disorder to us. Your fiancé sounds like a lucky girl. 👍🏼
The way she explains it is honestly amazing. She makes it really easy to understand and without all the dark stigma that comes around it.
This video really contradicts Shane saying 'no one would care' without the horror music & 'ohhh spooky' comments.
If you would make a video on chronic boredom like you mentioned that would be really helpful!!
Yes!
I love hearing the patients side of the story rather than just therapists and people studying the disorder, I hope you make a part two soon. There needs to be more awareness on this
This is the best overview of the diagnosis on UA-cam yet so many dislikes. Maybe people are angry about people with ASPD and cannot separate their emotions from their evaluation of this video. Fellow ASPD sufferer here.
ragingserapth; He is one of those edgy millennials lusting to be one of those special unique snowflakes.
edgelords everywhere
ragingseraph hes probably not happy about being bored,detached and dysfunctional all the time and what may have or moss likely have made him this way.
Antti Peltola True and I’d also guess they might be covering up their own issues?
ragingseraph
I don't know, man, maybe the majority of people who have a mental illness don't enjoy having it because of the trouble the symptoms and stigma cause them? Just a thought.
I had a really wrong idea of ASPD, thank you for doing this video, I understand it a lot batter now. Sending lots of love ❤️
I hope this isn't offensive but I genuinely am curious and you seem like someone who doesn't mind educating people who don't understand the disorder. But you talked about your fiance (congrats btw!) and how you would do anything to protect her and would never lie to her. I am just curious because I thought ASPD hinders the ability to care. So I'm just curious how love is in a relationship with someone with ASPD. Can you love without fully caring and empathizing with your partner? And what do you mean by "giving a reason" in terms of lying and manipulating. Like if you get into an argument with your partner would that qualify as a reason to manipulate?
I really hope this isn't offensive. I would love if you could make a video about ASPD in relationships.
The thing with Sociopaths is that they can sometimes empathize or have strong positive feelings towards some people or groups.
Think of people like gang members or members of an organized crime group like the Mafia or Yakuza. There are members of these groups who will rob, beat, torture, and kill with absolutely no remorse or hesitation. Gang members earn respect by being violent and the Mafia and other criminal secret societies became so powerful based on their willingness to use violence.
In those types of organizations, sociopaths do very well and disproportionate amount of members tend to be sociopaths. Although, I will note that it is only a minority of the members of criminal organizations, but the most powerful members of these groups are usually sociopaths or psychopaths.
Now, a lot of these people are fiercely loyal to the group or certain members and they will die or spend the rest of their lives in prison to protect it.
A bit of a follow up on the gang/Mafia thing.
I suggest reading a book called "The Murder Machine". It's a book about the DeMeo crew which was essentially a small gang working for the Gambino Mafia Family in New York in the 70s and early 80s.
The head of the gang was a man by the name of Roy DeMeo. Roy DeMeo was a member of the Mafia and some investigators think he's the most prolific hit man the Mafia has ever produced. Roy killed at least 38 people himself and some estimates raise higher than 100 victims with possibly up to 200 murder committed by other members of his crew (which ranged from 6 to about 15 at various points). What made the crew notable besides their death toll was their method disposing the bodies (which is why the estimates for their victims ranges so widely) which was cutting the body into pieces and depositing them across several dumpsters.
Roy was extremely close to some of the crew members. Especially a young mob associate named Harvey Rosenberg who admired Roy so much that he often used the name "Chris DeMeo". Everyone who knew both of them talked about how close they were and their attachment to each other. DeMeo was also very fond of animals and had a hobby of nursing injured animals back to health. He was also very loving towards his kids.
Roy was probably a sociopath. Very few non-sociopaths could rack up murders in the dozens (or maybe even over a hundred) and cut up bodies the way he did. He also made his living on extortion, running chop shops, dealing heroin, and he at one point dabbled in child pornography (although that was short lived as even his follow mobsters were horrified at that source of income and pointed out that he had kids around the same age). Yet, he was certainly capable of empathy in limited circumstances.
A sociopath is created so in that aspect, they can care about those few people that they connect with. Psychopaths are actually incapable of feeling love and stuff like that. A sociopath (especially high functioning) can love people and that ends up being a very strong connection because it’s rare for them to connect w people.
@Rachel Solomon There is a big difference between simply having ASPD and being a sociopath or a psychopath. Sociopaths and psychopaths have ASPD, sure, but all people with ASPD aren't necessarily sociopaths or psychopaths. Perhaps, you're getting this mixed up a little bit, I don't know.
Its not really complicated... It's basically like... You have a group of people you care for or have positive vibes Towards.... But that can INSTANTLY change in a matter of seconds if they do something to really piss u off... Or if you find them not to be positive In the way you desire anymore... You could go from taking a bullet for the to putting one through them if they decided to betray you. Its a simpler switch for us wit aspd then it is for those who don't have it. I hope this helped you😊
If you have your perspective on friendship for people with aspd I would LOVE a video on that!
*This* is the video people should be watching if they want to know about sociopathy. Not Shane's video (from which I watched first). That therapist he spoke to was so demonising towards ASPD and kept saying "ew" like it was a contagious condition. I know she was reading from the DSM but the whole video Shane did just didn't feel right.
Thank you for doing this video, it explained so much more and from a human aspect rather than a textbook example. I wish you all the best ❤️
I agree
There’s so many bad stereotypes on the internet about mental disorders. Disorders like Schizoprenia, BPD, ASPD, DID, and especially sociopathy are thrown into the “dangerous or crazy” category. The human mind is so complex and no one person with these disorders are the exact same as another person. I have a few diagnosed mental disorders including being a sociopath but I can truly care about others, if they show me the same respect. I’m not a crazy manipulative danger to society, and I wish more light was shed on the fragility of the human mind. I was born with some disorders, others were created from the negativity and hatred and bullying growing up. Not all people with these disorders are bad, but not all of them are good either. The true nature of that person will always shine through with their actions.
VioletHaze
Have a question, if you don't mind? It's not meant to be rude, or disrespectful, I'm just curious (because reasons...). If you're diagnosed with sociopathy, does it really means that you CAN, and are able to understand and truly care for others? I was always wondering about that one, because my very best friend was also diagnosed (not so long ago, and we've been friends our whole lives). Now I can't help it, I'm questioning everything lately, and try to educate myself the best I can. Thank you :)
VioletHaze oo
Judita J. No you cannot care for others the way those who are empathetic do. Sociopaths "care" for reasons that are beneficial to them. Aka..stay around those that give them entertainment of some kind...but sociopath do not care the way empaths do or share emotions the way they do. Sociopaths also dont love. They may tell you they do because they know that's what you want to hear but they cannot physically feel that.
autumn oranges
Thanks :)
VioletHaze thank you for saying that!:) i feel the same way. Society is just dumb
My dad has anti-social personality disorder. Please, never have children. The damage is HUGEE.
Sumaya M Are you okay? That was passive aggressive.
As someone with ASPD I agree. Kids aren't the best idea.
Depends on where on the spectrum.
Your dad is one person omfg
@@aradiamegido7040 screw you
I'm here cause I saw u on Shane Dawsons video
I want to know more, I honestly wish you made more videos about this, I love learning about stuff like this. Please make more videos you’re amazing
I appreciate hearing about this from a person who has ASPD because I've leaned that people with ASPD are human beings most of the time not serial killers or have sick fetishes. This video stands out because it gives perspective from a person ASPD and functioning
Redorgreenful correct👌👌👌
Redorgreenful Redorgreenful A belated cheers to you for truly listening. IDK if male expression of ASPD is different from female expression, as a whole, but the few female ASPD diagnosed I've found (the internet is a wonderful thing) besides myself are high-functioning, like this girl, and experience the world like this girl does generally speaking. There's some variation but the ability to turn on/off empathy is a key one. Actually, there's a 2013 study using MRIs that demonstrates that criminally convicted ASPD diagnosed persons are, upon direction, able to respond to tragic or empathy-inducing images differently. The natural state for them is off but it is able to turn on.
www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-empathic-brain/201307/inside-the-mind-psychopath-empathic-not-always This article condenses the general findings but, thus far, has not been debunked to my knowledge. It was a small study, admittedly, but it's also a small population to draw from.
For those saying 'a real psychopath would never admit to this online' -- seriously, what's the risk? People believe you and either avoid or are interested, either of which can be interesting for a while, or people disbelieve you and then it's an amusement because you know what you are. It can't really impact your career in a sense because either you find a career where your diagnosis is valuable -- and there's many -- or you're probably not going to last long in that job anyway because chronic boredom + impulsivity will get you every time. Even if you work on it, it's a hard, hard thing to work past that particular issue.
Frankly, I think she could have belabored how crushingly bored you can get and how that leads to disengaging or re-engaging negatively.
They are not human beings they are vampires.
psychopathy is a spectrum and ASPD falls in the part of the spectrum where people aren’t functioning properly because of it. The vast majority of those who score highly in the psychopath test are high functioning and contribute to society. I’m no psychopath but I understand that psychopaths aren’t ‘evil’. The problem with these people isn’t their lack of conscience, it’s their lack of impulse control. At least, from what I’ve read, these are people who lack the executive functions necessary to delay gratification, to foresee consequences, to use theory of mind, to have self awareness, etc. Dr Russell Barkley, a leading expert on ADHD, pointed out that many sociopaths tend to have untreated ADHD and Conduct Disorder so I believe ASPD, and all cluster B personality disorders, involve issues with executive function. In other words, it’s neurological, not a moral failing. Still, don’t use it as an excuse to be a dick.
Redorgreenful
"human beings most of the time"
lmao
Yeah, because some disease or disorder might make you less of a human being... Makes sense.
I applaud you for posting this! Being transparent about your ASPD is so refreshing and nice to hear. My brother is extremely sociopathic but IS dangerous and violent and on drugs. I’ve always well understood the signs and symptoms of a sociopath but always believed they could NOT get better or could NOT ever seek out help/therapy to become better without a court order (my brother.) I am not ignorant to mental illness and myself have been diagnosed with MDD and MAD however it is nice to learn and clearly see that a sociopath can infact acknowledge and accept their diagnosis and be game for therapy/meds whatever it takes to lead the most normal life possible. Thank you for shining light on this! It is very much needed to be correctly understood and to realize there are various degrees of severity with sociopathic behavior. ❤️❤️👌🏻
It's excellent that you did this video, especially by referencing the DSM-V, so that people really do understand what ASPD really is. And, characteristically, it is demonstrated differently by different people with different personality types. I especially LOVE the fact that you highlighted the difference between a sociopath and psychopath, describing the limbic system and difference in brain structure. I wish you all the best in your upcoming marriage. I'd like to ask you a question. What type of occupation, job or career are you interested in pursuing; assuming you'd like to? Thanks! Looking forward to Part II of this video!
If I can ever get through school I’d like to do social work or occupational therapy with children!
-Iris
Great to hear. You will be exceptional based upon your life experience. I wish you the very best in your future too!
If you want to see examples of all the Cluster B types just come to my family reunion.
Ray's Dad
bazinga
Your words were a welcome comic relief. The same is true of my family!
lol
Can we talk about clusterfuck disorder? (Daydreaming about my family members again)...
Ray's Dad I hear what your saying but the type of people you're describing wouldn't have a family reunion and they wouldn't be at one either. So that's not your family
who else comes from shane??
yes!!!
I have BPD and you’re totally right: everyone in the cluster b category is demonized and it’s honestly ridiculous
Cuz ur all bitches
@@Genam888 0:
I still think that the demonizing of the cluster b disorders is ridiculous because even though so many people are hurt by people who have cluster b personality disorders it doesn't mean that it's healthy to demonize the whole group. It's like saying that all immigrants are bad people because some people have been hurt by immigrants.
because all of the cluster b disorders can be helped with CBD (cognitive behavioral therapy). Just saying all narcissists and psychopaths are bad people undermines the work that many people are willing to do to work on their disorders. Most of us have been abused in childhood and are trying to recover just like everyone else.
Typos in the brain from personal experience I would say npds are way worse than people with aspd, as people with npd aim to make the person miserable and insecure whilst the others just manipulate and use people but dont cause as much emotional pain
This was a very informative video on the disorder. Thanks for making them. It's great that you felt comfortable speaking up- you're good at it.
What this girl describes as "cognitive empathy" sounds similar to what Sam Vaknin, who is diagnosed with ASPD and NPD describes as "cold empathy". He wrote great books on the subject of personality disorders and has channels on UA-cam. You guys should do an interview with him
So glad you showed that we’re not all crazy hurtful people. I haven’t been diagnosed myself but I’m looking into it so I can get some insight into how to feel better about it. I’m glad you mentioned about caring for people close to you because that is a huge thing people misconceive about ASPD - as if they care about no one and they’re just blank which is not true. We can feel guilt and fear but not on the scale of ordinary people. And we can understand emotion but just not necessarily feel them (or feel as intensely). And there is clearly big differences. You can choose to manipulate and lie whereas someone like me does it 24/7 no matter who it is. Each symptom is clearly on a scale. Like I barely break the law (as in sometimes I go over the speed limit and I have stolen and broken a few things) but I don’t start fights in the street or hurt people because that’s just way too much hassle to deal with. Thank you for showing that we’re all different
This is awesome. Thank you for making this video! I never ever tell people about my “cluster b” disorder because they automatically assume I’m trying to destroy their life...ain’t nobody got time for that. My life doesn’t revolve around destroying yours, Brenda!!!
I love this. *subscribed*
I’m way late but that’s a great way to put it!
Ok so obviously I’m here from Shane’s video, like everyone else 😂
His whole video made me feel like sociopaths & people with Aspergers (like myself) are REALLY similar, but from this video I’m not seeing that similarity at all. I’m so confused 😂
this is the most simplified explanation ever but Aspergers = difficulty understanding social norms, or sometimes not desiring human connection in the same way but no desire to manipulate or harm others and usually care about their inner circle of family/friends/partner. ASPD understand social norms possibly better than most people but don't care about others, have no problem with harming others if it benefits them / they can get away with it
I care SO MUCH for others, but also couldn’t give a crap half the time
😂 I think I’m broken 🤪
Super sweet, informative and destigmatizing! It's beyond frustrating to see low-empathy mental disorders being sensationalized again by supposed professionals. My longest relationship was with someone diagnosed with ASPD and he was one of the most caring and affable men towards his loved ones without even trying. Hopefully more open-hearted people see this.
PS Calliope deserved better RIP
You don't really have to try when you already know that person inside and out for years at that point.
And considering how ASPD don't suffer from anxiety or embarrassment of course it comes off as effortless.
I came here from Shane's video and I'm glad I did -- the therapist he featured kind of put people with ASPD into a really tiny box and talked about them as though they're not people too, and you really explained the disorder better.
I'm a psychology major and everything you said is so on point. I wish you all the best. Subscribed!
Watching this out of chronic boredom.
i have it too but it's ADHD XD
I have Borderline Personality Disorder. I am not a monster. I am working through everything that has been difficult and trying to be better and not let my past control me. It is not easy.
Anyone here from Shane’s video??
Emily Martinez me
I have BPD, ADHD, an anxiety disorder and a history of psychosis, and I don't know why, there is something about you that I find really attractive...
HAHAHAHA
@@sperk01 Excuse me?
@@LordSolidusI its like you just asked her to mess with you
@@sperk01 it's been almost a year since writing that comment. I don't even remember writing it.
99% of comments: I came from Shane Dawsons video
The other 1% are non existent.
I dont exist then..... sniffs
nah i actaully came from a song called "dark piano - Sociopath" i was curious about what is Sociopath is so i searched it :3
Here right after Shane’s video
Claudia Maria same
Stopped in the middle to watch this lol
I’m so glad you clarified things. This genuinely helped, my best friend is bipolar with ASPD, and she is hands down the best thing to happen to me in a very long time. I know she has cognitive empathy and I know that she feels empathy for myself and her close family. However my ex, who was horribly abusive to me also has ASPD. To me, having known them both personally and being close to them, it was hard to find any similarities in behavior. My best friend was never hurtful or cruel to me like my ex was. This helps me see what are REAL symptoms of hers, and to know how to support her through it. Best of luck with all aspects of your health. :)
I also have ASPD,. Home invasion at 12, arson at 13, abusive towards animals and people, Lie all the time, manipulate, use superficial charm, very impulsive, violent thoughts, violent crimes, lack of empathy for others, lack of emotion, no remorse, no guilt, no shame, cant hold down a job, big time drug user and drinker, very reckless, extreme bordem, but no i don't wanna die lol, others? Could care less, but myself absolutely not, i hate not being in control of the situation also, also ASPD have high narcissistic traits and its all about me and not you, i also scored a 38 out of 40 on the hare test and very low functioning.
Shane should have interviewed you instead of the therapist on what ASPD is.
The girl in the video isnt a trained professional. That's why she wasnt in the video.
Milk Boy
Neither was the girl in Shane’s video, I don’t remember what she is qualified for but she has only read what ASPD is from the textbook she didn’t fully study it.
I love Shane but he should have gotten someone with ASPD or who actually studied or given therapy to people with ASPD
@@Scsmitty she was a trained professional...she just didnt specialize in that specific disorder.
She’s not fit to even be called a therapist. No therapist says words like gross, icky etc
Ann Silveira wait what did she say exactly (you could paraphrase it just curious as to what she called "icky")
i came from Shane's video and i feel like they had so much stuff wrong. they were making everyone with this disorder seem evil.I was prescribed a psychiatrist by my doctor because my doctor believes that my mental health is making me physically sick, i go see her Monday and i'm scared so i've been watching a bunch of videos like these lol i'm glad to know you are giving out the correct information.
I was intrigued by you from Shane’s video. This was well done. I have BPD and I understand the stigma. Not everyone who has these disorders can be shoved in a box and written off as crazy. It’s a broad spectrum of symptoms and depends solely on the person and how they interpret their condition/the world around them. Well done.
Thank you.
I've been diagnosed as a psychopath recently.
I had no idea. I thought that this was it, the end for me. I'm crazy and no one will understand.
You helped me understand myself.
Thank you.
"Psychopath" isn't a diagnosis.