I think it might be us 8s not being in control, not being the one to come up with the idea. I just say no first to buy myself some time for a final decision 😅
That makes sense. My automatic answer is no. I won't let you finish a sentence first either. It's just something I do. It's easy to change a "no" to a "yes" if I want to, but it's not as easy to change a "yes" to a "no" without being a jerk. Tell me what it is you want first, and then I might commit. If you ask, "will you do something for me?" what do you truly expect me to say?
Taken advantage of for me personality, I can see the agenda before it comes and reject the offer & call it out for what it is. 8s would see that as a positive when protecting the team, but it can create enemies haha.
I'm an 8w7. President of a nonprofit. Love bullet points! Get very frustrated if people are not direct and take too long to get to the point. Less time to "do" and accomplish things.
"No" is easier for us (type 8s), because when we commit, we are all in and don't half ass it. No gives us time to see what the hell we are getting ourselves into and makes us feel like we have the situation under control
8w9 here... I'm an engineer in a male dominated industry. I love to do lists and weekends are more jam packed with more than I can accomplish on that massive to do list! But I don't know how to relax and stay still ! I also have been called abrasive at work when I'm just being straight forward, honest and direct to the point. Always stand up for yourself!
@@beigekitten89 Then we have an unstoppable force who meets an immovable object, lmao. I'm an 8w7, though, so it's likely to be a pretty passionate exchange.
100% I think it would be fun to hear you do a gender specific enneagram. I am an 8 female and it can be extremely tough for other people to swallow all these these things coming from a petite, feminine person like myself!
I would consider myself petite since I’m five seven and have muscle, but I still fit in a size two to four and I am a 23 year old female and because of this people treat me like I should not be an 8 but men totally can.
Love it. I'm an 8. I am always right until the remorce kicks in and I've got to do the right thing and say I was wrong. I'm also right about being wrong. Lmao
For me and I bet for every person who knows their enneagram, having all these weird things about yourself acknowledged, explained, and validated feels so good and affirming. At first it was like reading my own diary that I've never kept! Same for my son who's a 7. I was like, oooooh, that's why you're that way. So awesome, especially when it's done well!
As a social 8w7, it is about truth....I can be wrong, which motivates me to never get it wrong again, especially if it is a truth. I personally don't want to be in the spotlight, when I am right. It does not motivate me, but rather helping someone learn grow, learn their truth(s).
I’m an 8w7, I’m a professional singer and I truly love nothing more than overbooking myself and being so busy, I don’t know if I’ll make it! I love to hunt for gigs, and I truly love working with younger singers; to help them learn/grow. I also run at least 4 miles every morning, no exceptions! So…you pretty much nailed the 8.
Im an 8W7 and this is so incredibly accurate, especially the bullet points! I really appreciate it when people get to the point. If I'm interested i'm happy to chat for hours and hours, If I'm not captured then i will literally glaze over for 2 minutes and then if i can escape i will asap. I have a low tolerance for doing anything i don't want to do. I always need an aisle seat at the theatre or whatever, so i can leave if i want without needing to asking someone to move first. I always say to myself - you can leave whenever you want- so i don't feel trapped. I dont want to ever be in a situation where i feel obliged in any way. My worst nightmare is being somewhere i dont wanna be - and i don't drive - and not being to leave. Another part of being an 8 that resonated was wanting to lift others and cheer on their development. I am clever and pick things up easily and really love being able to learn a lot and then break it down in a more accessible way so that others can understand it more easily noone is ever left out of certain discussions, i want everyone to feel included. I love standing up for whats right, and am usually the first to say something. Though i also sometimes feel exhausted by that for sure, and think, can't someone else do it for a change. And i feel frustrated that others are happy to just not say anything sometimes - obviously depending on the situation but i swear some people would happily let something burn down than do something about it. When i am in a situation leading a group for e.g. academic setting with people not as enthusiastic, i find that waring, LETS GO WE CAN DO THIS WORK HARD PLAY HARD. I am also really not that controlling about who leads a group to be honest if someone else has a stronger urge to lead i love that because usually i only end up leading because im the only one who will. Im not gonna fight to be the leader because i feel like i don allow anyone to lead me unless i genuinely respect and agree with them on stuff. oh god i sound like an arsehole now. I also find it so accurate that i am always right because i genuinely won't present or voice something confidently unless i knew my facts were straight, or, had reasonable logic, because i think very hard, and absorb a lot, and if i dont know then i know i dont know so im not convinced im right. If i am right i am right. I dont ever say that out loud though its a very internal thing. Being a woman 8 is quite hard sometimes because it feels against the grain. And i always say or do something (completley acceptable and right) and then recoil and think -oh was i too harsh? too forward? bit much? that annoys me cause thats not my voice thats societies voice! Anyway, this is really self indulgent and contradicts my first comment about getting to the point hahahahah.
I'm an 8 and this is spot on. All of them! I work in corporate finance but have my own business outside of that because I don’t like people controlling my time or money 😆 this is golden!
I am a hard eight, and I work in pest control. It’s a fantastic job for an eight because as long as the work is done promptly and properly, there is no micromanaging. I get handed all my work orders at the beginning of the month, and I execute them as I see fit. Also, #9 is so true. I wish the world communication standard was bullet points. If I need more information, I promise I’ll ask
8w7 here, I’m a children’s pastor and I completely agree with almost every point you made. I am a justice warrior, I struggle to ask for help, I absolutely trust my gut and really struggle with other numbers that don’t - it doesn’t make sense. I am definitely a tough cookie with a tender heart. I’m very aware that my tough exterior covers my worry that I’ll be taken advantage of or follow someone who’s leading me in the wrong direction. And ooooh yes to the bullet points!! Long drawn our stories make me insane (and quite insensitive 😬)
It's Tina again! 8w7 and relate to SO MANY. If you saw me watching this video, I was like "YES! YEAH! Right on!" I literally told my husband to sum things up in 2 sentences for me, similar to bullet points. I've also told him to not sugarcoat things. I love my to-do lists, you should see my bullet journal, I make a weekly spread and make the check box-type to do list! I hate to be controlled, and hate being micro-managed!
Many reasons to say no. (1) I like to see the shock in a person to increase tension and emotion and get real. (2) It gives me a sense of control and power over the situation.
I think for your husband, saying no first to your kids is to challenge them to turn that no into a yes. Lines up with 8s wanting to challenge others to reach self efficacy
That's funny because I'm a 5 and do the opposite to teach them not to nag. I'll say later and then if they nag, I'll say, since you didn't like my answer, I'll change it to no. Then I never do it no matter what they say next. If they wait without nagging, I usually do it quickly but, I don't want people to expect me to drop what I'm doing when it's not necessary.
number one I couldn't fully say yes to because when someone I love wants or needs something from me I do have a hard time saying no... but two through 10 definitely yes so 9/10 for me. Thanks for the great video!
Regarding saying no, does come easily as do hard decisions. It is about keeping emotions, energies and environments safe. When my teens began making decisions, I learned to let go of it.
Also an 8 working for an Non profit, I wonder if it also has to do with the less controling environment in many NGOs, often more freedom to work independently, and easier access to roles with more responsibility.
I'm 8w7 (or 7w8) and I am business owner 😜 and oooooh yeah please, don't please don't beat around the bush. And my hubby always says I get what I want; basically I will my way into existence 😂
I'm glad I had my husband take this test. Found out he was an 8 which explains a lot. Mostly good things about him but holy crap doing projects together is near impossible. He wants to take over and do things his way, talks over me and overlooks my ideas even if I am correct. At times it's easier to do it himself than cooperate and communicate with a teammate. I'm a 5, very hard working, love knowing how things work and hate being useless and being taken over. In my mind it's like he's saying I'm incompetent which is a core fear for 5s. We want to be independent and capable, to have a purpose. I am also a confident 5. Thankfully he understands he can be a bit controlling and pushy and is working on it, and I realize sometimes I need to just find my own project lol. We both have things to work on. But I'm glad I know why he is like this now. At first it threw me off, and I thought he just didn't think I could handle anything. Nope just has a need for control.
Pretty good, am a lawyer in sales and have my own business. The wanting to be in control thing is more about not wanting others to be in control of me, so I don't need to control others. The always right thing, maybe thats the men 8s...
Hi, type 2 here! I'm not a type 8, but my stress arrow goes to 8. Since I think that all of us have been a bit stressed recently, I could relate to some of these. I certainly think I'm always right - unfortunately I'm not always 😂. I also love to encourage people to want more for themselves, I'm always in a better mood when I do it. However, I want that for other people but don't always encourage myself to do the same thing. Brilliant video! ❤👍
I’m a type 8 female. I am a NICU nurse working with the babies. I’ve had several people be confused because I look sweet, have a gentle voice and the babies love me as I love them. Then they see me on a war path and are shaken. But I protect and defend my patients no matter what.
My two strongest are type 1 and type 8. You describe me very well. I worked in a non-profit organization, and for me, I appreciate having a boss that is fair and takes into consideration the well-being of the employees. If not I'm in her office fighting for them.
I am 8w7 and work as a director in a non-profit. My degrees are in social work and I surely have a tender heart. I really hate inefficiency...get to the point!
I'm an 8w7, too. Worked in nonprofits my entire career. Starting my own private practice which is just more of me wanting to be of service in my own way. No is so easy for me. I often say to my friends "just tell them no. You can't do it. Buy it. Read it whatever. Just nope. Be honest. It's that easy!" Genuinely have little understanding of not being able to say no.
Crazy accurate haha! I would say that "yes" and "no" weight the same, I just have no problem whatsoever with answering "no". I don't wanna spend mine and people's time with ambivalent decisions. Why would I say one thing for another?
I'm torn between 8w9 and 3w4. I'm an ENFP. I feel very impatient and critical/mean in my head, but outwardly I try to be peaceful and act appropriately. I feel like lashing out a lot, but don't. My biggest fears center around people bothering me or me not having what I need, but I also feel like I crave attention from certain people. I have a hard time attaching to others even though I'm well liked. I feel a lot of loneliness, which is maybe just a lack of validation. Been single for 9 years. I don't really want everyone go praise me, but I do want praise from some people and I'm very conscious of how I may come across to others
I just took the test and it showed I am an eight. I don't think I am instinctual, though. I guess I consider that I am relying on the Holy Spirit. So, I am not sure now. It is something I will have to watch now in my own personality. Thanks for the summary! It was helpful. I do find the protector role and standing up for those whose voices are not being heard is true and caring about truth and justice is very important to me. I get incensed with injustice. So, I know it is a challenge to remain tender and merciful. Thanks!
This video was very informative. I’m a Type 9, and when I took the Enneagram test, 8 was actually my lowest score by a wide margin. This video helped me understand why. I’m a peacemaker and a storyteller, and now I see why it’s not surprising that my approach may not be well received by all. A takeaway for me is that I may benefit from greater brevity. If I can offer any advice as a 9 to the 8s out there, some context beyond basic bullet points may help inform better decisions. Try not to discount those who are sharing additional information for the betterment of the mission - that extra “by the way” comment may actually be a critical piece of the puzzle. Be well!
Well, ALL but 1. As ENFJ, I am working on this. Being 8w7 social, and ENFJ I find interesting combo, really. Justice, worries of betrayal: 👏 Bravooo! Ps. I love your cactuses 🌵 behind you 😜👌
i'm always right, but only because i don't open my mouth if i not 10000% sure. and if I’m wrong, I can bear the consequences. BUT! the whole other side, i can fully take consequences but if it were someone else, then they would not play the same fair game! so I stand my ground no matter what.
8w9 here. I am currently a program director and worked in nonprofit (as a department head) for a few years. I loved it’s because it is less rigid and I wasn’t micromanaged and the work I did actually mattered. I related to most everything except the aspect about Saturdays. I absolutely love resting and I don’t work when I don’t have to. I find that I haven’t fully identified with the idea that I don’t like control either. But I’m certain there is some truth there. Anyway, I’d love to connect with other 8w9’s… I find that that most 8’s I encounter are w7’s and they are so different from me and have very different motivations and dispositions.
I’m an 8 and i work in hospitality, basically im a career waitress, I could never do anything else besides run my own business. Hospo is a high energy environment where you get to manage an area by yourself, usually. A lot of chefs are 8s and if you’re a waitress and you’re not an 8, it’s a hard job to handle. I have been fired a lot though haha
I think 8’s say No to retain control. Saying Yes implies someone else is in control and the 8 isn’t. The 8 has a plan, and the thing being asked for isn’t in the plan - so No is the default answer. The 8 may later say Yes, after evaluating the request and absorbing it into their plan. I’m an 8w7, I’m a manager in a non-profit. 8’s love the underdog and those that can’t protect themselves, hence the non-profits.
I think you dont understand 8's. We say "yes" because it let's us take action right way. We don't do tasks on a to do list, we come up with the big vision and expect others to do the work.
Hi there 👋🏼 One question : have you ever seen an 8 suffering from low self esteem and didn't believe in his own potential? I love the enneagram. I study it regularly... And this person has EVERYTHING ELSE besides this sense of powerfulness most 8s usually demonstrate. I believe he is an 8 with a 9 wing.
8w9 is more likely to be laidback or lack self esteem, but 8w7s are so much more common so people talk about their tendencies more. Hence the confusion
I'm a social 8 who mistyped as a 2 for years. I do work at a nonprofit! I'm currently deciding on whether I should get a BCSW or a teaching degree. The only thing I didn't relate to was finding it easy to say no and always feeling like I have to be right. I've always been somewhat phobic of emotional conflict so I always try to find a middle ground to prevent it, but I DEFINITELY get the rage when it comes to protecting others (even when unwarranted) so everything else is right on.
I am very much likely a 2w1 but HOLY SHIT does all of this check out. I am the most assertive, dependable, stubborn and non-trusting person I know (second to my lovley father). But I also would do anything for people, even a stranger sometimes. Go above and beyond to help others and do anything I can to make someone’s day better. Put others needs beofre my own and if I love you enough I just cannot say not to you. I have sever trust issues but have the case of being a people pleaser. If you are in my circle you get all of my trust and adoration- I cannot stand being vulnerable in any way, I keep my walls up. Even though I am beyond helpful, that does not mean I am trusting. Idk- it I wasn’t a 2 I know for certain I am an 8 (definitely resonate with 9’s though lemme tell yah- ) (maybe because I am raised by an 8 😂)
type 8 here, i relate to actually, all of these points! great video, thinking im always right and being wrong in the end sometimes hurts my ego too much, so i hate it when people disagree with me, and hence like to argue or debate with others lol
I’m listening to this on a Saturday. Writing down the list helps me stay realistic. My greatest fear is not getting to do all the things. Not on my list. I mean… ALL… THE… THINGS. (and additionally fear I won’t be able to protect all the people)
7w6 here....but I do definitely see some of the 8 things, the gut feeling about people...oh yes...and at times I can't even explain why, which is awkward in many ways and normally I really do try to see the good in everyone. After all I am an optimist! It's really hard when it happens in a church setting and peole are gaga over someone and all you can think is "Something is not right". The defend and protect part is pretty strong in me too. You can mess with me but don't think about messing with my kids, my grandkids, other family or my friends. Always right....I have worked really hard to keep that one in check but before I got to this point not only would I tell you I'm right, I would go through great lengths to PROVE I was right. I can sort of see the just wanting bullet points with no details ocassionally but I think since one of my top Love Languages is quality time...hey, the more details you give me the longer you'll be here talking to me...lol My Dad was an 8 with a 7 wing I believe. He was in Law enforcement for most of his life. He started in the Military Police, then he worked as a Police Officer for 25 years and then worked security at the hospital for another 10 years. My son is an 8w9 and his plans right now are to go to the Police Academy. He has been out of High school for a while and had been considering different career options. Our high school does carrer path education and in 8th grade he was trying to decide between criminal justice and engineering. The money in engineering caused him to go that direction in high school but it didn't end up being a good fit. He just told me right before Christmas he really felt like he was called to be a police officer even at that time in 8th grade. I think Law Enforcement could be a good choice for an 8th if they are healthy.
Thanks for your amazing wisdom Lorrie. I always love reading what you have to say. It totally makes sense that some of these totally resonate with you being 7w6.
I feel, there is a common misunderstanding about control. Control to me is "make people do something whethervor want it or not"/ influencing people in order to make them act. Which is not true to me (8w7). TRANSPARENCY though is key to me, as I can decide how to reACT. And I couldn't care less about what people do as long as I m able to position myself. Instantly realizing the hierarchy in a room has nothing to do with control either.: if there is a vacant space , I as an 8 will fill it in or put someone in that position immediately (i.e. within about 3-5 seconds). This has nothing to do with controlling people in my mind, but with ensuring that the structure works. This may sound very "headful", but really is a gut reaction.
I think 8 shares no. 2 with type 1. I’m a 1w9, and I never saw days off as something too special (unless I actually planned something special) or necessarily for “resting”, since those days for me are just days I can reserve to do _other_ things (like a “for-me” work day instead of “for-work” or “for-school” work day). I might jog earlier and longer, work on the details in my projects or plans, listen to more podcast episodes or the ones I’ve missed, etc. Things might be slower on such days, but not necessarily less things to do, and the number of things I want to do on those days remain (or frequently exceed) the things I do on normal days, work and school combined. Holidays for me are the same, except Christmas which is when my family forces me to rest completely (and you know noncompliance is not an option).
I seldom start with no. I’m a strong “if there’s a will there’s a way!” Type. My husband, fearful, but not mean narcissist, type 6 always starts with “it can’t be done!” 🤦♀️🤦♀️ After 28 years we can eventually get to a way to do it🤷♀️😂
I hate being controlled, I fight for truth and justice. I read people pretty immediately. I tested as a 5, wing 4, but a lot of this seems me. I'll take three from column 8.
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This is all good! As far as career, I'm a Professional (Executive) Pastry Chef & International Missionary turned stay at home mom with my 2 kids and my niece and nephew whom we have taken into our home. I am always right, whether I want to be or not 😂
hahaha I'm so called out to a T here. Those career suggestions are spot on haha Manager in Corporate America here with a operations team. Growing up I wanted to be a UN Diplomat for Civil Rights hahaha
I'm not an 8, but as I'm growing and becoming more confident, I'm becoming more like an 8. As a 4, my biggest obstacle to overcome was insecurity and fear of not being loveable due to being too weird. Well, I used to be a people pleaser because of this, but now I know that not everyone has to like me. Let's just say, I'm less afraid of people calling me a bitch. Lol. I know I have my people who get me. I'm more confident and expressive this way, which makes me more myself, and a stronger four. I think the difference between me and the 8 is that I don't assume I am right. I am a sensitive person who has an understanding of the many nuances of any situation, so I always think I can learn something from listening to others, even if I think I am the one with better overall knowledge about something
My first is 5 and secondary is 8. I cracked up when you said the yes is a yes and no is no. I’ve said so many times if someone asked me something more than once is if the answer is no it’s going to be a no. No matter how many times you ask 😅Also when someone is telling me a story and they are giving every minor detail I’ve caught myself getting annoyed and saying ok, so what is the point here? Not the softest approach but let’s go already 😆
8 here regarding saying "no." I think it has to do with not wanting to be taken advantage of, being run to the ground, or losing power and energy.
This is very true. Thanks for sharing your insight!
I think it might be us 8s not being in control, not being the one to come up with the idea. I just say no first to buy myself some time for a final decision 😅
That makes sense. My automatic answer is no. I won't let you finish a sentence first either. It's just something I do. It's easy to change a "no" to a "yes" if I want to, but it's not as easy to change a "yes" to a "no" without being a jerk. Tell me what it is you want first, and then I might commit. If you ask, "will you do something for me?" what do you truly expect me to say?
Taken advantage of for me personality, I can see the agenda before it comes and reject the offer & call it out for what it is. 8s would see that as a positive when protecting the team, but it can create enemies haha.
I'm an 8w7. President of a nonprofit. Love bullet points! Get very frustrated if people are not direct and take too long to get to the point. Less time to "do" and accomplish things.
Yes! Bullet point it so no time gets wasted!
Eights also like to mention their title/status within hierarchies 😂
8w7 I also work in charities :) (youth homelessness)
Same. CEO of my own game development company. I have no workers or make any money, but I'm a CEO. HAHAHAhahha...sob.
lol.
Debra, right??
"No" is easier for us (type 8s), because when we commit, we are all in and don't half ass it. No gives us time to see what the hell we are getting ourselves into and makes us feel like we have the situation under control
I so agree you are in or out! when you are in you need to be in 100%
8w9 here... I'm an engineer in a male dominated industry. I love to do lists and weekends are more jam packed with more than I can accomplish on that massive to do list! But I don't know how to relax and stay still ! I also have been called abrasive at work when I'm just being straight forward, honest and direct to the point. Always stand up for yourself!
We say ‘NO’ first because we feel pushed to make a decision and need more time to process. Rushed to a decision the ‘NO’ is safe.
AMEN!
yes! came here for this!
"Just say 'no,' it breaks their enthusiasm."
This is so true! You are absolutely right! 😂
So Ron Swanson from Parks & Rec
Unless you find a 4 who is extremely resilient and wont take no for an answer 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 your choice but ill still annoy you with it 🤣🤣🤣
@@beigekitten89 Then we have an unstoppable force who meets an immovable object, lmao. I'm an 8w7, though, so it's likely to be a pretty passionate exchange.
100%
I think it would be fun to hear you do a gender specific enneagram. I am an 8 female and it can be extremely tough for other people to swallow all these these things coming from a petite, feminine person like myself!
ua-cam.com/video/FoZWuYO4KW8/v-deo.html&ab_channel=AbbeyHowe
Also a petite Asian woman here. I feel there are a lot of 8's in my culture, especially the petite aunties lol. Vicious creatures
Yep, me too. Men want to crush me and definitely don't want to listen to me. If that is the case, I walk away.
I definitely relate to this!
I would consider myself petite since I’m five seven and have muscle, but I still fit in a size two to four and I am a 23 year old female and because of this people treat me like I should not be an 8 but men totally can.
Love it. I'm an 8. I am always right until the remorce kicks in and I've got to do the right thing and say I was wrong. I'm also right about being wrong. Lmao
😂😂😂
Wow. 1000% same
Lol, it shows you're married to one.
Hillary: "8s, ask for help sometimes!"
Me: "No."
I ask for help, but if the person isn't helpful, then I'll keep searching until I find one... I go distance to make sure they can actually help me lol
For me and I bet for every person who knows their enneagram, having all these weird things about yourself acknowledged, explained, and validated feels so good and affirming. At first it was like reading my own diary that I've never kept! Same for my son who's a 7. I was like, oooooh, that's why you're that way. So awesome, especially when it's done well!
Girl, of all the enneagram descriptions and tutorials I've heard, yours comes closest to my reality. Thank you. Following.
❤️❤️❤️
As a social 8w7, it is about truth....I can be wrong, which motivates me to never get it wrong again, especially if it is a truth. I personally don't want to be in the spotlight, when I am right. It does not motivate me, but rather helping someone learn grow, learn their truth(s).
8 here regarding career: I'm a chaplain at a non-profit hospice organization, and I take on a lot of teaching-related side projects.
So amazing!
I’m an 8w7, I’m a professional singer and I truly love nothing more than overbooking myself and being so busy, I don’t know if I’ll make it! I love to hunt for gigs, and I truly love working with younger singers; to help them learn/grow. I also run at least 4 miles every morning, no exceptions! So…you pretty much nailed the 8.
Wow! I need some of your energy and drive!
Im an 8W7 and this is so incredibly accurate, especially the bullet points! I really appreciate it when people get to the point. If I'm interested i'm happy to chat for hours and hours, If I'm not captured then i will literally glaze over for 2 minutes and then if i can escape i will asap. I have a low tolerance for doing anything i don't want to do. I always need an aisle seat at the theatre or whatever, so i can leave if i want without needing to asking someone to move first. I always say to myself - you can leave whenever you want- so i don't feel trapped. I dont want to ever be in a situation where i feel obliged in any way. My worst nightmare is being somewhere i dont wanna be - and i don't drive - and not being to leave. Another part of being an 8 that resonated was wanting to lift others and cheer on their development. I am clever and pick things up easily and really love being able to learn a lot and then break it down in a more accessible way so that others can understand it more easily noone is ever left out of certain discussions, i want everyone to feel included. I love standing up for whats right, and am usually the first to say something. Though i also sometimes feel exhausted by that for sure, and think, can't someone else do it for a change. And i feel frustrated that others are happy to just not say anything sometimes - obviously depending on the situation but i swear some people would happily let something burn down than do something about it. When i am in a situation leading a group for e.g. academic setting with people not as enthusiastic, i find that waring, LETS GO WE CAN DO THIS WORK HARD PLAY HARD. I am also really not that controlling about who leads a group to be honest if someone else has a stronger urge to lead i love that because usually i only end up leading because im the only one who will. Im not gonna fight to be the leader because i feel like i don allow anyone to lead me unless i genuinely respect and agree with them on stuff. oh god i sound like an arsehole now. I also find it so accurate that i am always right because i genuinely won't present or voice something confidently unless i knew my facts were straight, or, had reasonable logic, because i think very hard, and absorb a lot, and if i dont know then i know i dont know so im not convinced im right. If i am right i am right. I dont ever say that out loud though its a very internal thing. Being a woman 8 is quite hard sometimes because it feels against the grain. And i always say or do something (completley acceptable and right) and then recoil and think -oh was i too harsh? too forward? bit much? that annoys me cause thats not my voice thats societies voice! Anyway, this is really self indulgent and contradicts my first comment about getting to the point hahahahah.
I am an 8w7 sometimes w9. Marketing strategist. Having control and giving guidance is definitely parts that I enjoy the most!!
I just tested. Turns out I’m an 8 and a lot of it makes sense. I’m a business owner in the wedding photography and fine art field.
Wow! How awesome!
I’m an enneagram 8 this is the fourth or fifth video I’ve seen on 8s and all have been spot on. Much appreciated.
Awesome!
I'm an 8 and this is spot on. All of them! I work in corporate finance but have my own business outside of that because I don’t like people controlling my time or money 😆 this is golden!
Awesome! Thanks for sharing!
No doesn't mean NO WAY. it simply means "this not my thought", and "convince me this is a good idea for me".
I like this!
Definitely an 8W7 and work in nonprofit fields. Never felt anything but love for the career path, but it’s also a field where we’re not micromanaged
Love it!
I am a hard eight, and I work in pest control. It’s a fantastic job for an eight because as long as the work is done promptly and properly, there is no micromanaging. I get handed all my work orders at the beginning of the month, and I execute them as I see fit.
Also, #9 is so true. I wish the world communication standard was bullet points. If I need more information, I promise I’ll ask
Love it!
I took the test and found out that I'm an 8w7. Oh wow! So many things mentioned here are on point.
8w7 here, I’m a children’s pastor and I completely agree with almost every point you made. I am a justice warrior, I struggle to ask for help, I absolutely trust my gut and really struggle with other numbers that don’t - it doesn’t make sense. I am definitely a tough cookie with a tender heart. I’m very aware that my tough exterior covers my worry that I’ll be taken advantage of or follow someone who’s leading me in the wrong direction.
And ooooh yes to the bullet points!! Long drawn our stories make me insane (and quite insensitive 😬)
It's Tina again! 8w7 and relate to SO MANY. If you saw me watching this video, I was like "YES! YEAH! Right on!"
I literally told my husband to sum things up in 2 sentences for me, similar to bullet points. I've also told him to not sugarcoat things.
I love my to-do lists, you should see my bullet journal, I make a weekly spread and make the check box-type to do list!
I hate to be controlled, and hate being micro-managed!
Hi Tine 👋🏼 yes! Love it when you comment! Love that you relate so much to this video! Woot! Woot!
Totally agree with this video! I’ve worked in Human Resources for a decade.
Nr. 9 YESSS! Thank you for mentioning this. Also regarding this point, love the timestamps 😆
Many reasons to say no. (1) I like to see the shock in a person to increase tension and emotion and get real. (2) It gives me a sense of control and power over the situation.
I think for your husband, saying no first to your kids is to challenge them to turn that no into a yes. Lines up with 8s wanting to challenge others to reach self efficacy
That's funny because I'm a 5 and do the opposite to teach them not to nag. I'll say later and then if they nag, I'll say, since you didn't like my answer, I'll change it to no. Then I never do it no matter what they say next. If they wait without nagging, I usually do it quickly but, I don't want people to expect me to drop what I'm doing when it's not necessary.
number one I couldn't fully say yes to because when someone I love wants or needs something from me I do have a hard time saying no... but two through 10 definitely yes so 9/10 for me. Thanks for the great video!
Regarding saying no, does come easily as do hard decisions. It is about keeping emotions, energies and environments safe. When my teens began making decisions, I learned to let go of it.
Also an 8 working for an Non profit, I wonder if it also has to do with the less controling environment in many NGOs, often more freedom to work independently, and easier access to roles with more responsibility.
I say no so I have more time to think about agreeing to something. Better to change a no to a yes than vice versa. 🤷🏻♂
I'm 8w7 (or 7w8) and I am business owner 😜 and oooooh yeah please, don't please don't beat around the bush. And my hubby always says I get what I want; basically I will my way into existence 😂
LOL! Makes sense!
definitely an 8!! when you were listing the possible jobs, i was waiting for you to mention actor, which you did! Awesome
Awesome!!!!!!
I'm glad I had my husband take this test. Found out he was an 8 which explains a lot. Mostly good things about him but holy crap doing projects together is near impossible. He wants to take over and do things his way, talks over me and overlooks my ideas even if I am correct. At times it's easier to do it himself than cooperate and communicate with a teammate. I'm a 5, very hard working, love knowing how things work and hate being useless and being taken over. In my mind it's like he's saying I'm incompetent which is a core fear for 5s. We want to be independent and capable, to have a purpose. I am also a confident 5. Thankfully he understands he can be a bit controlling and pushy and is working on it, and I realize sometimes I need to just find my own project lol. We both have things to work on. But I'm glad I know why he is like this now. At first it threw me off, and I thought he just didn't think I could handle anything. Nope just has a need for control.
Pretty good, am a lawyer in sales and have my own business. The wanting to be in control thing is more about not wanting others to be in control of me, so I don't need to control others. The always right thing, maybe thats the men 8s...
Hi, type 2 here! I'm not a type 8, but my stress arrow goes to 8. Since I think that all of us have been a bit stressed recently, I could relate to some of these. I certainly think I'm always right - unfortunately I'm not always 😂. I also love to encourage people to want more for themselves, I'm always in a better mood when I do it. However, I want that for other people but don't always encourage myself to do the same thing. Brilliant video! ❤👍
Thanks for sharing! That is something a two needs to work on...encouraging themselves too ❤ You're worth it!
I’m a type 8 female. I am a NICU nurse working with the babies. I’ve had several people be confused because I look sweet, have a gentle voice and the babies love me as I love them. Then they see me on a war path and are shaken. But I protect and defend my patients no matter what.
Oh no I forgot to thank you for the video in my last comment! I enjoy your Channel! Thank you for sharing your knowledge.
You are so welcome!
My two strongest are type 1 and type 8. You describe me very well. I worked in a non-profit organization, and for me, I appreciate having a boss that is fair and takes into consideration the well-being of the employees. If not I'm in her office fighting for them.
I'm an 8. I am in marketing. Strategy development is my favorite part. It's the part I excell.
I have ALL OF IT, my gosh! its a relief also so that I can adjust to other personality type as well.
❤️
I am 8w7 and work as a director in a non-profit. My degrees are in social work and I surely have a tender heart. I really hate inefficiency...get to the point!
I'm an 8w7, too. Worked in nonprofits my entire career. Starting my own private practice which is just more of me wanting to be of service in my own way. No is so easy for me. I often say to my friends "just tell them no. You can't do it. Buy it. Read it whatever. Just nope. Be honest. It's that easy!" Genuinely have little understanding of not being able to say no.
Crazy accurate haha!
I would say that "yes" and "no" weight the same, I just have no problem whatsoever with answering "no".
I don't wanna spend mine and people's time with ambivalent decisions. Why would I say one thing for another?
I'm torn between 8w9 and 3w4. I'm an ENFP.
I feel very impatient and critical/mean in my head, but outwardly I try to be peaceful and act appropriately. I feel like lashing out a lot, but don't.
My biggest fears center around people bothering me or me not having what I need, but I also feel like I crave attention from certain people. I have a hard time attaching to others even though I'm well liked. I feel a lot of loneliness, which is maybe just a lack of validation. Been single for 9 years. I don't really want everyone go praise me, but I do want praise from some people and I'm very conscious of how I may come across to others
Got an 8 in my top 2, after watching this video I know I am definitely an 8!
👏👏👏
I just took the test and it showed I am an eight. I don't think I am instinctual, though. I guess I consider that I am relying on the Holy Spirit. So, I am not sure now. It is something I will have to watch now in my own personality. Thanks for the summary! It was helpful. I do find the protector role and standing up for those whose voices are not being heard is true and caring about truth and justice is very important to me. I get incensed with injustice. So, I know it is a challenge to remain tender and merciful. Thanks!
This video was very informative. I’m a Type 9, and when I took the Enneagram test, 8 was actually my lowest score by a wide margin. This video helped me understand why. I’m a peacemaker and a storyteller, and now I see why it’s not surprising that my approach may not be well received by all. A takeaway for me is that I may benefit from greater brevity. If I can offer any advice as a 9 to the 8s out there, some context beyond basic bullet points may help inform better decisions. Try not to discount those who are sharing additional information for the betterment of the mission - that extra “by the way” comment may actually be a critical piece of the puzzle. Be well!
EVERY SINGLE WORD was accurate! This is crazy! I feel so understood! Lol Thank you for this!
Well, ALL but 1. As ENFJ, I am working on this. Being 8w7 social, and ENFJ I find interesting combo, really. Justice, worries of betrayal: 👏 Bravooo!
Ps. I love your cactuses 🌵 behind you 😜👌
Thank you!!!
My husband is a type 8 and is a police officer, but also trains for a non-profit.
So cool!
INTJ 8W5 third 2. May be I am in depression. In a point of life where I feel very vulnerable. Thank you for the video. Every point is on point.
i'm always right, but only because i don't open my mouth if i not 10000% sure. and if I’m wrong, I can bear the consequences. BUT! the whole other side, i can fully take consequences but if it were someone else, then they would not play the same fair game! so I stand my ground no matter what.
I'm definitely an 8. I had my doubts because my mbti is INTP and it's a weird combination but I'm not gonna question it anymore.
This was fire 🔥
This was my first watch of your channel and I subscribed.
Thank Linda! ❤️
Type 8 and a future Speech-Language Pathologist! I’m finding it’s not a terribly common field for 8s. Lots of 1s, 2s, and 3s in my program lol
Wow! That’s a great career!
Though I was a 5 for the longest until I realized I took the test while I was stressed.
“Is there a reason why you would start of with a no?”
Type 8 be like “no”
😂
8w9 here. I am currently a program director and worked in nonprofit (as a department head) for a few years. I loved it’s because it is less rigid and I wasn’t micromanaged and the work I did actually mattered.
I related to most everything except the aspect about Saturdays. I absolutely love resting and I don’t work when I don’t have to. I find that I haven’t fully identified with the idea that I don’t like control either. But I’m certain there is some truth there.
Anyway, I’d love to connect with other 8w9’s… I find that that most 8’s I encounter are w7’s and they are so different from me and have very different motivations and dispositions.
YUP! That’s me! Nailed it. 👍🏻
👏👏👏
"maybe is a loser's word" (Queen's Gambit)
I’m definitely an eight! I related to every single one of these. 8w9 and my husband is a 3w2
That's awesome!
I’m an 8 and i work in hospitality, basically im a career waitress, I could never do anything else besides run my own business. Hospo is a high energy environment where you get to manage an area by yourself, usually. A lot of chefs are 8s and if you’re a waitress and you’re not an 8, it’s a hard job to handle. I have been fired a lot though haha
We say NO first because we are analytical and need to process the pros and cons. Everything else is 100% on point.
I think 8’s say No to retain control. Saying Yes implies someone else is in control and the 8 isn’t. The 8 has a plan, and the thing being asked for isn’t in the plan - so No is the default answer. The 8 may later say Yes, after evaluating the request and absorbing it into their plan. I’m an 8w7, I’m a manager in a non-profit. 8’s love the underdog and those that can’t protect themselves, hence the non-profits.
I think you dont understand 8's. We say "yes" because it let's us take action right way. We don't do tasks on a to do list, we come up with the big vision and expect others to do the work.
So true. I have a hard time resting. I
Create work for me to do on weekends so I can feel productive
Hi there 👋🏼 One question : have you ever seen an 8 suffering from low self esteem and didn't believe in his own potential? I love the enneagram. I study it regularly... And this person has EVERYTHING ELSE besides this sense of powerfulness most 8s usually demonstrate. I believe he is an 8 with a 9 wing.
A common lie for the 9 to believe is that their life is inconsequential. This lie can cause self esteems issues for sure.
8w9 is more likely to be laidback or lack self esteem, but 8w7s are so much more common so people talk about their tendencies more. Hence the confusion
I'm a social 8 who mistyped as a 2 for years. I do work at a nonprofit! I'm currently deciding on whether I should get a BCSW or a teaching degree. The only thing I didn't relate to was finding it easy to say no and always feeling like I have to be right. I've always been somewhat phobic of emotional conflict so I always try to find a middle ground to prevent it, but I DEFINITELY get the rage when it comes to protecting others (even when unwarranted) so everything else is right on.
Type 8 here! I will be attending law school next fall :)
👏👏👏
I'm an 8w9 all these points rang true for me
I was wishing you would get to the point a bit quicker. Haha. Great video. 👌
😂😂😂
lol. 8W7 here. I watch just about every single video on UA-cam at 1.75 speed :-)
@@jkenefsky came here to say the same thing haha. Normal speed is a waste of time!
I am very much likely a 2w1 but HOLY SHIT does all of this check out. I am the most assertive, dependable, stubborn and non-trusting person I know (second to my lovley father). But I also would do anything for people, even a stranger sometimes. Go above and beyond to help others and do anything I can to make someone’s day better. Put others needs beofre my own and if I love you enough I just cannot say not to you.
I have sever trust issues but have the case of being a people pleaser. If you are in my circle you get all of my trust and adoration-
I cannot stand being vulnerable in any way, I keep my walls up. Even though I am beyond helpful, that does not mean I am trusting.
Idk- it I wasn’t a 2 I know for certain I am an 8 (definitely resonate with 9’s though lemme tell yah- ) (maybe because I am raised by an 8 😂)
This was pretty on point.
I’m an 8 and I’m an ultrasound tech. I love it!
❤❤❤
type 8 here, i relate to actually, all of these points! great video, thinking im always right and being wrong in the end sometimes hurts my ego too much, so i hate it when people disagree with me, and hence like to argue or debate with others lol
I’m listening to this on a Saturday. Writing down the list helps me stay realistic. My greatest fear is not getting to do all the things. Not on my list. I mean… ALL… THE… THINGS. (and additionally fear I won’t be able to protect all the people)
So true for an 8! My husband is the same way. 😃
7w6 here....but I do definitely see some of the 8 things, the gut feeling about people...oh yes...and at times I can't even explain why, which is awkward in many ways and normally I really do try to see the good in everyone. After all I am an optimist! It's really hard when it happens in a church setting and peole are gaga over someone and all you can think is "Something is not right". The defend and protect part is pretty strong in me too. You can mess with me but don't think about messing with my kids, my grandkids, other family or my friends. Always right....I have worked really hard to keep that one in check but before I got to this point not only would I tell you I'm right, I would go through great lengths to PROVE I was right.
I can sort of see the just wanting bullet points with no details ocassionally but I think since one of my top Love Languages is quality time...hey, the more details you give me the longer you'll be here talking to me...lol
My Dad was an 8 with a 7 wing I believe. He was in Law enforcement for most of his life. He started in the Military Police, then he worked as a Police Officer for 25 years and then worked security at the hospital for another 10 years. My son is an 8w9 and his plans right now are to go to the Police Academy. He has been out of High school for a while and had been considering different career options. Our high school does carrer path education and in 8th grade he was trying to decide between criminal justice and engineering. The money in engineering caused him to go that direction in high school but it didn't end up being a good fit. He just told me right before Christmas he really felt like he was called to be a police officer even at that time in 8th grade. I think Law Enforcement could be a good choice for an 8th if they are healthy.
Thanks for your amazing wisdom Lorrie. I always love reading what you have to say. It totally makes sense that some of these totally resonate with you being 7w6.
I'm a 7, but my wing 8 really resonated with this. 💪
Awesome!
You forgot evangelist for 8 with 7 wing
Eight female here. Love your energy ♡
Eights are my favorite! ❤️
I feel, there is a common misunderstanding about control. Control to me is "make people do something whethervor want it or not"/ influencing people in order to make them act.
Which is not true to me (8w7). TRANSPARENCY though is key to me, as I can decide how to reACT. And I couldn't care less about what people do as long as I m able to position myself.
Instantly realizing the hierarchy in a room has nothing to do with control either.: if there is a vacant space , I as an 8 will fill it in or put someone in that position immediately (i.e. within about 3-5 seconds). This has nothing to do with controlling people in my mind, but with ensuring that the structure works. This may sound very "headful", but really is a gut reaction.
8w7 this was so on point!
This speaks to my core Hillary!
Yes! Love this Janet!
I think 8 shares no. 2 with type 1. I’m a 1w9, and I never saw days off as something too special (unless I actually planned something special) or necessarily for “resting”, since those days for me are just days I can reserve to do _other_ things (like a “for-me” work day instead of “for-work” or “for-school” work day). I might jog earlier and longer, work on the details in my projects or plans, listen to more podcast episodes or the ones I’ve missed, etc. Things might be slower on such days, but not necessarily less things to do, and the number of things I want to do on those days remain (or frequently exceed) the things I do on normal days, work and school combined. Holidays for me are the same, except Christmas which is when my family forces me to rest completely (and you know noncompliance is not an option).
I seldom start with no. I’m a strong “if there’s a will there’s a way!” Type. My husband, fearful, but not mean narcissist, type 6 always starts with “it can’t be done!” 🤦♀️🤦♀️ After 28 years we can eventually get to a way to do it🤷♀️😂
I hate being controlled, I fight for truth and justice. I read people pretty immediately. I tested as a 5, wing 4, but a lot of this seems me. I'll take three from column 8.
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This is all good!
As far as career, I'm a Professional (Executive) Pastry Chef & International Missionary turned stay at home mom with my 2 kids and my niece and nephew whom we have taken into our home.
I am always right, whether I want to be or not 😂
Start off with a no because you can't make it too easy for some. lol
😂😂😂
8 here, marketing major and business owner
hahaha I'm so called out to a T here. Those career suggestions are spot on haha
Manager in Corporate America here with a operations team. Growing up I wanted to be a UN Diplomat for Civil Rights hahaha
Excellent! I’m an 8 w 9.
Spot on!!
First thing you said about your husband saying no made me laugh I do that to my mom even when I know I’m gonna do whatever she is asking for 😂
😂😂😂
You're describing my boss hehe but shes amazing and I love her.
So accurate. Self love first.
❤️❤️❤️
I'm not an 8, but as I'm growing and becoming more confident, I'm becoming more like an 8. As a 4, my biggest obstacle to overcome was insecurity and fear of not being loveable due to being too weird. Well, I used to be a people pleaser because of this, but now I know that not everyone has to like me. Let's just say, I'm less afraid of people calling me a bitch. Lol. I know I have my people who get me. I'm more confident and expressive this way, which makes me more myself, and a stronger four. I think the difference between me and the 8 is that I don't assume I am right. I am a sensitive person who has an understanding of the many nuances of any situation, so I always think I can learn something from listening to others, even if I think I am the one with better overall knowledge about something
My first is 5 and secondary is 8. I cracked up when you said the yes is a yes and no is no. I’ve said so many times if someone asked me something more than once is if the answer is no it’s going to be a no. No matter how many times you ask 😅Also when someone is telling me a story and they are giving every minor detail I’ve caught myself getting annoyed and saying ok, so what is the point here? Not the softest approach but let’s go already 😆