DO MEN HAVE IT HARDER THAN WOMEN FOR MARRIAGE? Ft. Adam and Slim (Chai Talk Ep 12)
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- Опубліковано 3 жов 2024
- In today's episode we had Adam and Slim join our Chai Talks to discuss marriage, social media, parents, and more! Chai Talks turned therapy..
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Wajeeh: / wajeehwest
/ wajeehwestt
Mama Jee: / mama.jeee
Business: chaitalkpod@gmail.com
I 100% agree with Wajeeh’s point of view…his focus is to maintain a healthy relationship with his parents and future wife. Trust me, his wife will appreciate that and love his parents even more because of this balanced approach InshaAllah!
💯 I agree
In Islam it is the wife’s right to have her own place to live with her husband- if she doesn’t mind living with your parents then that’s calm but if she wants her own privacy then that shouldn’t be looked down upon.
Yeah, but guys forget about that part of Islam.🙄
Thats one of the scary risks for me of marrying Muslim guys, with immigrant parents unfortunately.
#hypocrisyisntcute
@@misbahailia3345so u gonna marry a kafir?😂
If he cannot afford to do so do not force or expect him to move you into another house and be patient,
Adam has hands , he can massage his parents feet himself . Any women who takes care of her in laws does it out of love and is doing a favour to her husband, it’s not her duty, it is his .
DAMN RIGHT
And if he expects that from his wife, he should be willing to massage his in-laws feet as well
💯
Yes 👏🏽
Say it louder for Adam to hear!
You know what I think would be sweet?
If the son In law massages his parent in laws feet, and the daughter in law massages her parent in laws feet. 🥰
Adam is crazy dude he’s expecting his wife to massage his mothers feet but he’s not accepting that its his duty. Appreciation for wajeeh👏🏻👏🏻
Adam’s outlook on marriage is extremely concerning, he just wants to control his wife. Already feel sorry for his potential wife
ua-cam.com/video/5PVRbwgYeHA/v-deo.htmlsi=9TTUD3WkxY1ZtSgx
Moral of this podcast, Adam shouldn’t get married if he ain’t gonna treat his wife with respect and give her space and privacy.
💯 In the "husband" department Adam is so cancelled.
Jokes aside, I think aunty should have a talk with Adam regarding his extreme partner expectations. His statements were quite troubling. Not to forget lots of youngsters are watching and learning from chai talk.
Exactly, he’s too immature for a wife and prefers his parents controlling his life since he can’t be a man yet
Some kids have a hard time standing up to their parents even if they are full grown independent adults who are making their own income. They are conditioned that way. It’s not their fault.
@@AA-wn4wflol whose fault is it then?
Slim is the only level headed one speaking about marriage and living expectations from experience. Wajeeh seems like he is more realistic about what it will be like in an American society. Adam on the other hand seems like he wants to please his parents with being traditional but the reality is we all know that’s not how he is and he won’t be able to sustain a traditional lifestyle like that in the long run he has to be honest with himself 😅
That’s true 😂
FACTS loool
Agree
Factsss!!
I feel like like Wajeehs mindset is the best tho, In Shaa Allah, he’ll be the happiest as he has no expectations. Any girls would appreciate someone with this mindset, So everything his wife does will be out of love. May Allah bless him with the best.
Wajeeh is a smart man! Agree a thousand percent about focusing on a healthy marriage without having parents involved. It’ll help the parents and wife have a healthy relationship as well. Your parents will forever be your parents but sons and daughters create their OWN family and take priority.
Adam is portraying & mama jee is supporting the wrong ideology. ‘I’ll tell her to put lotion on my mom’s feet, if she’s a real women she’ll stay with the family’ Thats absolutely wrong. This is against our religion too where its made crystal clear that wife doesn’t have the responsibility of husband’s family, if she does it thats her good deed. And wajeeh’s pov makes sense, relationships require space
go back to the kitchen
Yes that’s true, but who’s better? A wife who is considerate of her husband and his family and is there to take care of them or one who moves away and visiting only often. It’s about good deeds, obviously the wife in the first option will be better because she’s doing more good deeds.
We need a young woman on here who can argue the woman's position on these matters
Reply to Adam’s vote thing ‘Move out with wife and fulfill all responsibilities towards parents’
Wajeeh, your pov is very healthy and positive. Mama jee plz don’t come under pressure what Adam is saying is exactly opposite to our religion.
Mama jee literally took this entire episode to gather humderdiaan from Adam & Slim. She is hugging it out with Adam b/c she finally had someone siding with her & she can openly admit she isn't who she was pretending to be all these past episodes about letting Wajeeh have a LIFE!😂
SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK 🗣️😂
@@WajeehWest😂
LOL FOR REALLL AHAHAHAHA SHE LOOKED SO LIBERATED ROFLLL 😂😂😂😂
@@moonlightea that's what I'm SAYINNNN'😒😅 she's like finally I have someone that can help me validate my toxicity and prove to Wajeeh this is all normal & if a son like Adam can say & feel all this, so should Wajeeh.🙄
After watching this and reading all the comments it’s time for me to get married and LEAVE my parents and go live alone with my wife! I think that’s what’s been holding me back from getting married.. see ya soon with my habibti InshAllah
HAHAHA you’re not back in Yemen my G!!
I love you my son ! You are the best and very rare breed to have now a days ! Your parents are blessed and lucky
Ma shaa Allah
Ma shaa Allah ❤❤❤
Mama Jee
You called Wajeeh a simp but can you give up any of your sins for even a day? That's true strength. You should study Islam
Poor poor lil poser Adam. You can't get married coz you care so much about your family and what they think. PAHAHA bro your cap is an insult to our intelligence. I don't know how you haven't been cancelled by the Muslim community yet considering all the haram you've done.
Yes akhi adam get married before its too late. And don't forget to not get attached too much and too long with both your parents and your wife. You need to have some separation with both to have a healthy relationship. Take some time away from your wife when you think its needed and take some time off from parents when you think its suitable. Find the balance and its healthier to move out if married but live very close to the parents house especially if they are old and need you.
Literally agree with Wajeeh. He will be a good husband. He wants a healthy balance between family and his wife and kids. Toxic Middle East and Pakistani culture does not focus on marriage and wife … only caters to son and his families
Form what im noticing adam has people pleasing tenedencies which actually is a concern and wajeeh has a healthy balance which is actually perfect. 😃
May Allah swt guide Adam to follow the Islamic lifestyle of living with his future wife, Ameen.
Idk what it is but mamajee should be grateful to have sons like Ahmad and wajee instead of thinking Adam is perfect ☠️☠️☠️. Wajeeh is a healthy guy with emotional intelligence but Adam no he's got people pleasing which is extremely toxic
She only thinks Adam is perfect is because he is saying what she wants to hear & wished Wajeeh came out saying all that too (everything about not moving away and not having a life beyond parents) -- You could sense Wajeeh feeling a little sad for the way Mama jee was acting out & downplaying all that Wajeeh DID do for her as if none of it mattered compared to the stage acting Adam was putting up to get brownie points from Mama jee. Flying kisses, thanking them for being here as if she finally could express herself and has someone who understands her toxic self and can justify it. Felt sad for Wajeeh & applaud him for keeping his composure.
I am on Wajeeh's side. Adam is mad crazy in this Podcast lol! The person you marry is not obligated to do anything for your mom Islamicly. As long as there is respect that is all that matters. This was a great podcast keep up the great work! Can't wait for future episodes. ALSO, much love to Mama Jee! ❤❤
I side with wajeeh in moving out after marriage, it creates much healthier relationships between parents and wife. There is more respect. Also, Islam says to do it. Adam pov is different but it would create more confusion and problems in husband wife relationship.
The fact that they don’t realize or even acknowledge that the wife also separates from her parents, so toxic! So I guess that women that move into their in laws house are ‘simps’ then
I'm italian and married and I still have to tell my mom where I am. When I go on vacation with my husband I have to give her my trip itineraries 😂😂
slim face sometimes when adam said some stuff 😭😭😭😭 he knew adam was cappin big hard 😭😭😭😭
Wajeeh is a great son and has very good insight. I agree with him a lot. My question is, if MaMaji wants Wajeeh and his wife to live with her, then why did she not live with her in-laws and had also left her parents in Pakistan to come to America by herself??? Don’t get me wrong, she is great and a very caring mother but can be unreasonable at times with certain issues. When the children have become grown responsible adults, your work is done and it’s time to cut the apron strings and let them live their lives and make their own mistakes. We all learn from living life in the real world and parents who over shelter their children are not doing them any favors!
Big facts very well said
I been watching your series for some time now, and honestly wajeeh you are so mature, and wise and know how to balance your personal life and family. I just hope your friends who have different opinions don't affect your mentality which will definitely be fruitful for your future life marriage and family. I hope you stand your ground. Also, there is one thing I heard and stick by, even the people you love so much, and vice versa, will waste your life without caring for your time. Adam might be the dream boy for his parents, but not his girl LOLL. Hopefully, he finds someone like him in today's American day and age. Times are different now, they ask for different things. LOOOL i died laughing at " your marriage proposals went down by 75%" haha if thats not facts idk what is ahhahaha
Omg I love this comment. ESP “Adam might be the dream boy for just parents but not a for a girl” absolutely agreed, I can’t see any smart, strong, beautiful, sane women wanting to b w Adam. He’s such a child and a hypocrite n I don’t say this from thin air. The double standards he has for wife, he basically wants a clean, innocent devoted girl from the village (whivh he’ll never even be able to love cuz of the difference socioeconomical backgrounds) when he has committed every sin there is out there n the proof is w a simple search on the internet.
100%
These podcasts are so therapeutic!!
In our desi culture, it’s so difficult to speak up for what we want to do. We are terrified to ask for even trivial things like going out with our friends. Our parents being raised in a different era and in the subcontinent was different than us. They never grew out of that mindset and are now imposing those standards onto us who have grown up in the west. That fear that they have instilled in us that we’ll disappoint them if we don’t bide by their terms is so wrong in many levels. I’m in my mid 20s, got a masters, working, by god’s grace doing good for myself but my parents still try to control my life and choices. I’m grateful to them for setting the foundation that has made me capable enough to led my life independently. But not sure when do our parents realize it’s time they take the backseat and let us take over our lives.
@WAJI .. Islamicly its the right of the wife to hav her own home etc.. soo proud of u for standing up for wats right and not continuing the wrong cycle of our desi community
Wajeeh, you've done your work! Proud of you for recognising healthy boundaries, what you needed and what you need in the future going forward. It's a shame, that your expression of what you feel and what you continually go through is not received and understood, rather you are constantly refuted, as the person listening to you has not done the work or the first step toward healing. It's interesting how Adam is stuck on the wife moving with the husbands family as an act of deep devotion and respect to their parents, but to understand any phenomena or any act, you must look into the roots and patterns to see through an oppression. Women for centuries in India, Pakistan or Arab countries have moved to the husbands families. What about the wife's parents? They always get left behind. There are also many instances where the wife's parents are given way less importance and focus in terms of gift giving, number of visitations and general treatment and decision making. It is also important to note, some remarks in this podcast especially by Mamajee and Adam were quite sexist. Women for eternity have carried households, and this hasn't changed even in this generation, all you have to do is just look around in your own families. All the mental load of a household, from throwing the trash, what's missing in the fridge, what ingredients are needed for the next days meal, which sheets have been changed and not, all is carried mostly in the woman's head. It doesn't boil down to just 'cooking'. Society still hasn't been completely transformed, but what women expect is not 'stop cooking and order on door dash' but rather sharing the mental load of the house with their partner. We live in a renewed society where women are finally getting educated and able to take up jobs just like men are. Thus it is expected for both parties to share equal mental load of the house. Being aware of children's appointments, when the trash bin gets full, splitting chores where possible. As a young woman of this generation, about to complete my post-graduation, all my female friends know how to cook amazingly, and are responsible, beautiful adults. I also remember hearing in the previous podcast that Aiman would not even be allowed to go out. This happened for a few years of my life and what that led to was me being complacent, lazy and depressed. But now I have moved abroad alone, began my film career, pursing my education, and my parents have started to trust me and let me be, now I am more determined, ambitious and 'off my phone' than ever. So to Mama-jee, there is so much more to perceive about the world, the complacency in any female you've observed, it would be useful to dig deeper into what underlies your thoughts and what underlies their actions. But I promise you, most women are wonderful human beings, simply seeking to share the life load with someone they love, to be understood, seen and heard. Vilifying women already, even before Wajeeh or Ahmed gets married is quite scary. Anyway, this was my two cents. This is a good podcast, only wish Wajeeh was allowed to speak fully without being interrupted. He speaks well, and of good meaning!
Brilliantly put, this is also what I think as a young woman in today's society which is thankfully taking steps to change the way we women are educated and perceived.
I love this response! Couldnt have put it better myself 👏🏼
What Wajeeh is saying is 100% correct. It is so important to give your wife her own place and space. That doesn’t mean he still can’t take care of his parents and also there’s other siblings as well. And in Islam the responsibility of taking care of your parents doesn’t only fall on one child. If the son decides to move out that doesn’t mean the child doesn’t care about the parents. They also need to start their lives and build a foundation for themselves. Also, it’s a circle of life yes parents will get old and as kids we should take care of them but that doesn’t mean to submit your life now and just be with your parents 24/7.
Sidenote: don’t know why Adam is acting like an angel when he’s done a lot of other things I’m sure his parents wouldn’t approve of. And taking care of your wife and giving her time, attention and love is what she deserves.
Honestly , whoever marries Wajeeh will be a very lucky girl . He is very level headed and tries to be fair . He will be a very good husband and son simultaneously
this whole episode was literally just an hour of wajeeh trying to get a word in and fighting for his life lol
As a Yemeni living in Canada, I don’t have a traditionally strict family like Adam. Not all Yemeni households are like that. Although we do tend to be more traditional than most Arabs, in my household and in many of my Yemeni family friends households, we leave our parents when we get married. It’s a very normal standard. We only start taking care of parents when they are old and cannot sustain themselves. Also women don’t get forced to get married at 15. The women chose who they want and usually finish university first. The strict mentality comes from certain areas in Yemen. It all depends on the family. I have no issues with my family to getting married to someone outside the culture. In my family we are mixed with Ethiopian, Malaysian, Somali, Turkish, etc. No tribalism either. I say the more educated and well travelled a Yemeni family is, the less likely they uphold traditional values. Not all traditional values are Islamic representations. I say Deen over tradition anytime.
Malaysian ❤❤❤ this is how Islam should be. We have unhealthy divisions for what? We are an ummah
Adam is the worst type of friend 😂
Watched this entire interview and honestly Wajeeh , whenever you get married get your own place. You can live around momma jee and your dad but from experience as a person who has lived with in laws and finally moving out in fw months. I will tell you, they’ve been the worst years of my life . There’s no privacy, not only that it’s so annoying when the boys parents question little things like where you go, when you go, you go on any holiday with our kids they get upset. When you get married ,respectfully move out , and trust me you’ll be happy when your wife is happy and when there’s a balance between keeping your family happy and her family happy. Plus you need space when you have kids, you need space to invite and have friends over. So privacy is such an important thing. Why does she need to feel compelled to spend time with in laws when she doesn’t want to. Imagine coming home and you wanna just lay on the couch with your legs up. I feel like Adam was gaslighting you and making you feel bad because you want to live on your own. There’s nothing wrong in living alone with your partner. It’s such a nice feeling , it’s a blessing to be able to live independently. I’m also south asian , i know there’s a stigma when you leave your parents , but parents also need to learn to live on their own. To live independently . Remember they use to live before you were born they can deffo do it. There’s nothing wrong in living around them and going into help them now and than. Parents cannot gaslight boys mainly boys to live with them because they’re getting old. Honestly it’s such a sad thing in the asian community.
As for Adam I honestly think dude you have way tooooo many demands.
Adam also has many vlogs of him running away from his strict parents, rescuing hamza’s sister from sexist things, and saying himself he DOES NOT agree with how strict things are for him and others. Wajeeh could have used more of that energy support from slim and Adam in this video I think….great conversation. Still to me shows, the instinct to placate to parents is so strong they are doing it to someone else’s mom to just get the one up on Wajeeh lol come on y’all you know you wouldn’t want it 😂😂Adam is able to do a lot more Wajeeh hasn’t and wouldn’t do. Kissing a man like Adam did even as a joke ??? Mama Jee would flip if she saw one of her sons doing that.
Adam is the simp. He has a mental breakdown almost every other month and would “run away” from home leaving his parents. So how could YOU leave your parents multiple times Adam? This episode I only got 40 minutes in and I want to slap adam’s smug smile off his face when he is coming for Wajeeh and egging mama Jee on. Lol. We ALL know Adam will be moving out if he finds a wife and he does crazier things Wajeeh wouldn’t even think about doing. See atleast Wajeeh is honest, Muslim influencers like Adam are what makes these conversations unproductive. It’s all a show and lie. Speak up for your Muslim brothers and sisters Adam with the truth!
u wayyyy too invested
@@mayne7937 after over an hour of my time, heck yeah I am.
I don’t think wajeeh did justice to the translation of that voice note 😂😂😂
Fr.. kutto ki auladd😂😂 mama ji is a certified violater 👌🏽🤣
Honestly, I love it when my mom asks me where I'm going, when I'm coming back home and who am I out with? It feels great knowing that my absolute favorite person on earth cares about me. May Allah grant her a long healthy life and keep all our moms happy and proud. Cherish her presence ❤
Alhumdulilah ❤️ May Allah swt bless you and your family Ameen 🤲
Ameen All our moms and dads
Loved how Adam's mom made duaa for him when checking on him. It showed she cared for him and was worried for him. Whereas, mama ji style of worry caused anxiety. 😅
!!!!!!!
Lol I'm guilty of having mama ji style of worry myself 😂❤
But what's funny is, I see some similarities between her son and my son. I believe they're more affectionate and close to us because of our style lol ❤
With Adam and slim, it just always gets us nostalgic. Love to see the trio together and have a pod with mama jee 😂🤌🏼
Slim being the most American and having an existential crisis in a conversation LMFAOOO. The 👀 he gave the camera at 49:45 😭🤣🤣
I moved out at 30 years old (I'm Punjabi). At first, my parents were sad about it, but they got over it real quick. We forget that they are humans too and can adapt, develop, and grow through anything. I will come back when they need me in their old age but I would be lying if I said this wasn't the best thing I did for my mental sanity. Parents shouldn't use guilt to pressure their kids to stay with them because they have separation anxiety. It's not healthy for anyone. When you accept this behaviour from your mom, you start expecting it from your wife. Then when your wife treats you the way your mothers did you are no longer sexually/romantically interested in her because she reminds you of your mother. If you want a happy, long lasting marriage you need separation from your parents.
I just wonder if mama jee will accept what she expect n wants from wajeeh’s future wife. Like it’s ironic that she n her husband both left their parents back in Pakistan. The irony
She will never rub her MIL feets plus she treats her husband is worst way possible no matter what.
Move out 100%, every woman wants her own home, to be in charge of it to take care of it how they like, your mother's home cannot be your wife's home, if your parents need you to take care of them, they should move into your home. The other way creates a power struggle and causes problems.
A "genuine" woman would be happy for you to keep your parents in their million dollar home and move into a small apartment with you to get that privacy and space.
And y'all really want your parents to hear you making babies? Come on lol if it's awkward to cuddle your wife in front of them, then imagine them hearing that😭
It is NOT selfish to satisfy yourself and what you are looking for in a partner. You are the one that will need to spend a lifetime with them. And people that ACTUALLY love you will see you HAPPY and be happy too.
My mom died , and trust me i miss someone caring for me. Now i have everything in the world but not my mama 🥲 have to cook for myself , take care of myself and guided my self throughout .. aj azadi hai to maa nahi hai love u mama jee and brother 👍😍
No one is marrying Adam with that mindset. Why should a wife massage your mum's feet. Are you going to massage her parent's? Wajeeh has such a positive mindset. If mama jee wasn't the possessive type then it would have been fine for wajeeh to live with his parents after marriage but with this possessiveness it will certainly get messy. So it depends on circumstances too. But always better to keep a healthy distance between every relationship.
From an Arab household, y’all don’t even understand how insanely relatable this is. I’m 23, still in school, but I’m essentially not allowed to travel anywhere, it’s impossible, despite my sister which is 2 years younger than me can, and she has traveled twice. Even when I’m not home, my mom can’t sleep, and when I’m back, I get the shit for it, “YOU KEPT ME UP ALL NIGHT - I HAVENT SLEPT” 😂😂
I love this podcast man, feels like y’all are projecting an extension of my day to day life. ❤😂
This is hilarious ! Poor wajeeh ! To be honest wajeeh respects a lot of boundaries his parents place versus Adam/slim. Adam may live with his parents after marriage but he has done ALOT of things his parents said not to do . Just saying! I’m wajeehs side - even islamically the girl has a right to have her own place
Mama jee has a very TOXIC mentality regarding the topic of discussion. She remembers what Islam says about respect for mothers but she should also know that in Islam, wife has the right to live separately from her in-laws, and there is no obligation in Islam for her to live with her in-laws or serve them. Yes you respect and take care of your parents/in-laws but that can be done living separately as well. Makes me wonder if she can survive with her own in-laws with such a strong and vocal personality.
I'm surprised you had these 2 on here despite everything that's come out about them. Gonna pass on this one. Sending love to you and Mama Jee! ❤
What came out about them?
I know I don’t understand why he’s still friends with them and lets them into their home after all the disgusting things they have done. Passing on this one too
@@sairajamshaid4962 I am so lost, can someone update me on what happened...
There is so much about them but one major thing is they like sleeping with young girls
@@ahahahwjedb2024 this is so wrong. Astaghfirullah. Please refrain from spreading this stuff. And when it comes to the act of Zina there is very serious consequences for accusing somebody or slandering someone. Or in general mentioning things that ruin the image of our brothers and sisters is such a lowly act. Please take heed and warn others. If you have no proof then hold your tongue and also make excuses for your brother or sister in Islam.
This episode was infrurating to watch. Why do our parents have to "let us" do anything at our big old ages? That's control no matter what mental gymnastics you try to spin on it.
I’m Arab Yemeni girl and totally agree with Wajeeah and disagree with Adam. And about moving out when you get married it’s better for you and ur parents It’s good to have a private life.Of course, you will not go away far from them. Maybe just get a house next to them or couple blocks is a good idea especially if the parents still healthy and not that old like they could take care of them self I mean if they’re sick or very old of course you’re not gonna leave them alone. The guy or the girl is responsible for their own parents or maybe the wife if she’s nice she’s going to take care of them like her own parents. As Arab girl if my future husband parents needed me I will always be there because I’m gonna treat them as how I wanted my parents are treated from others.
Here's the thing.. Sure Adam and Slim were talking about how they're scared of their parents but between the 3 of these guys, Wajeeh is the better child. Those 2 went clubbing, had girlfriends, drank, did drugs, etc. Whereas Wajeeh hasn't done any of those things! I'm team Wajeeh in all of this. Adam tried so hard to make him look bad!
100% agree. Finally someone who has knowledge on things slim and adam did.
100% agree with Wajeeh. Even after living and growing up in a typical desi household, its commendable MASHALLAH how mature, smart and realistic he is. I hope you stick to this balanced approach. You definitely increased your marriage proposals by 100% including all of Adam's proposals lol. Adam bruh, no disrespect but you are living in a delusional world, Good luck finding a wife in this day and age with those specifications lol. MaMaJee just got the perfect opportunity to gang up against Wajeeh.
Islam does encourage a separate household for the newly weds to avoid any internal conflicts . And many Arabs do the same . Children can visit their parents and fulfill their duties. So yes Wajeeh is absolutely right even so Islamically. Some cultures can be very toxic, and we don’t have to follow them.
Agreed
I feel like Adam was gaslighting both Wajeeh and Mama Jee the whole time
Adam is every wife's nightmare!
I have no idea why wajeeh is still friends with Adam and Slim. They both have done some mad shit like wtf.
I know, I hate how men in the Muslim community get away with do much haram
You know an apple doesn’t fall far from the tree . You always choose friends with similar habits . Meaning just cuz we don’t know it doesn’t mean it never happened .
The sexist remarks throughout the episode were appalling
cry
Wajeeh was the only level headed person in this conversation. Adam had a very strong and opinionated view of what he would want his wife to be like towards his mum, but it begs the question of whether he would treat his mother in law like that, and lotion her feet etc.
Don’t get me wrong, I completely and utterly understand the importance of our parents particularly our mum’s role and feature in our lives as Muslims. It’s so pivotal. But equally said the reason why God made the relationship of Adam and Eve first , husband and wife and not mother and son or father and daughter etc is because the relationship between husband and wife is so vulnerable and boundary less. It defeats all other relations in terms of closeness. That doesn’t mean that every other relationship is less than or inferior, it’s just different.
The right man and good Muslim would know how to look after his parents under a different roof to him, whilst Maintenon his wife’s privacy and desire to be a homemaker. You can’t have two queens under the same roof. In the same way I would love to see Adam trying to live under the same roof as his father in law and feel fulfilled as a man. You simply can’t. You feel obliged to give it up out of respect, when you simply shouldn’t.
Wajeeh is right. There needs to be a balance. You don’t need to live under the same roof to be close to your parents. In fact I know so many men who live with their partner under their parents roof yet are out all the time and expect their wife to look after his parents. That’s wrong. On the day of judgement she will be asked how she looked after hers, and the husband will be asked how he looked after his.
Alongside this, as a wife myself , I love my husband so much that I automatically love his family and vice Versa. I live separately to them but our relationship is AMAZING Allah Humma Barek. His mum is happy in her space with her rules and her kitchen space and I am happy with mine.
It’s so sad to say but a mentality like Adam’s is what fails marriages. Wajeeh will be very successful in his marriage Insha’Allah because he understands the beauty in balancing both relations separately but alongside one another, with as much love and respect as he can give, albeit his mum or wife.
Allahuma Barik sister! as a young woman i really see your points as concise and a real description of how married life should be. This is given that the wife and husband understand their responsibilities.
Thank you for this; I had to take a screenshot of your insightful response.
May Allah bless your marriage and keep you happy and in peace.
ameen
Besides the extremely sexiest remarks through this ep Adam is an extremely dululu, man is never gonna get married.
He’s funny and all but I agree I didn’t like the comment about “if she’s a real woman she would live with your parents” like bro- Allah has given her the right to have her own place with her man. Obviously before getting married the woman would know the guy’s situation and position with his parents and what he wants. Personally I wouldn’t mind living with the parents because I’m Pakistani and we just save up until we can afford ourselves lol but boy when a woman get pregnant and you have kids- I’d assume SOME would want their own space.
there’s a reason why he’s 30 and still not married.
What crack is Adam onnnnn ….take your privacy, if you can’t handle your mother, your wife will be crush …. also enjoy creating new beginnings together, …you can visit & stay over anytime with your parents, and them can come to you with time as they age , it doesn’t have to be your whole life
You know my parents lived with my father’s parents when they got married , my grandmother tortured the living hell out of my mother mental health, ( i remember seeing her crying every single night as a child ) once she gave birth to my younger brother & suffered from severed depression , she has never been the same until now even after 20 years , ( im 24 ) even after they moved out , she couldn’t let go of the trauma & it put severe strain in my parents marriage nearing divorce multiple times .
Seeing my parents marriage, I realise you can be 2 individually great people coming together but because you couldn’t put away 3rd party intervention into your marriage & set boundaries ( just because of obligation towards your parents - the guilt + social stigma ) it will hinder your whole life & literally making it a living hell .
Also my grandma is really toxic ,none of her own child could bear to spend more then 1.3 hr with her
[ what im saying is , she is an extreme case, but she has really made me scared to even consider marriage]
how dare he! I am 26 , first ever girl from my family to be here, and doing everything at my own. What do you mean, girls also need to be successful.
The sexiest remarks just show how outta touch he truly is.
Adam Saleh is such capp , we all know about the scandals he has been guilty for
slim looks so innocent here, forget he’s a boxing fiend 😂😂
Such a shame, Wajeeh doesn't even get a chance to speak, they keep interupting and talking over him. Give him a chance to speak without speaking over him, you've said your point 50 times, now let Wajeeh explain his side too
Wajeeh’s input was so on point, this guy has wisdom! 👌🏼
I just want to say.. I’m 38 and both of my parents have passed on sadly. Seeing your mum say only God knows how she survives when Wahjeed is out of the house, reminds me of my mum a lot. If i went away for the weekend, she would send me sad voice notes and pictures of an empty chair at dinner because she missed me. At the time this would be so OTT, I’d be like mum you’re being dramatic but now those are the things I miss. I hope you can find a way to create some balance, I know south Asian parents can be at times suffocating (with love) but it’s because they have invested everything into their kids, and have put their own lives second, sometimes even to their own marriage comes second to the kids. Wahjeed you’re a fantastic son mashAllah, you’re setting healthy boundaries but it looks like your mum is making progress too. ❤🇬🇧
The amount of flashbacks I’ve got from this podcast! Who remembers those og videos wajeeh and Ahmed used to make with slim and Adam! DAMNN 😭😭
Wajihs right, mama ji and Adam are wrong. Especially the part where mama ji says "go out to grocery together, eat together...". Hai Allah - No, please don't have these expectations if you want a happy future Mamji. She's not getting married to be your new bff, she's getting married to live and lead her own life with her husband. I've never met a woman who would want to do that on a daily/or even weekly basis unless she herself has no friends/job/life or can't live alone.
If Adam was just capping to get Wajeeh in trouble then that's hilarious, but if he meant it then he's gonna regret his words real soon lol. Only way it works to do what Adam says if you live in a mansion and everyone has their own floor almost.
Also if Adam is serious, no girl marrying him anytime soon for SURE.
Omg did Adam just say "if she's a 'real' woman she'll stay with the family". LOL. This guys still a child.
Adam Wajeeh is right your too nice to satisfy your family but think about yourself and your parents not others.
Bro was struggling with boundaries so he decided to bring us along the ride for support lmaao. Love it!! And yes we can all relate haha
The sad thing for me is Mama Gee treats Wajeeh like a husband and just because her husband was not successful she expects Wajeeh to do everything for her which is so sad....What will happen when he gets a wife of his own..Mama Gee needs to let Wajeeh live his life ..she needs to focus on her husband and her own life
Is Adam willing to put lotion on his FILs feet? If yes then you can expect that from your future wife.
Wajeeh, I think we’d appreciate yours and mama jees thoughts on fousey rn
100% agree with Wajeeh, felt his frustration at times 😅
In Islam its a man's responsibility to look after his parents not the girl I agree you need to be in a different house to ur in laws to have a good relationship.
Adam's wife will be a very sad wife.
I agree with wajeeh it’s god given right to women to have their own house alone unless ur parents can’t live alone and they r disabled. Respecting and loving ur parents doesn’t mean u have to cut corners on ur wife’s rights
So, just to understand when Adam says that living alone is "abandoning" your parents, did he not think of his wife? How she feels? How she wants her married life to be? Or is it just about him and his parents? I 100% agree with Wajeeh on this point, live and let live. He can find a home close to theirs and still be there for mom and dad.
I agree with Wajeeh 100%
Hispanics parents are very similar, but a healthy marriage is very important
I hope Adam will respect his in law's parents equally, not only tell the wife to do it 🙃
I bet he will massage his in law feet 😂
Adam wants to continue the toxic cycle 😂😂
I think so 😭😭😭😭
Mama Jee's voice note has me creasing omg, it's the 'kutteh ke bachey' and 'kutteh kay logo'. Was not expecting Adam and Slim to agree with Mama Jee so much #teamwajeeh. This was so hilarious! Adam was capping like crazy.
healthy boundaries and relationships are needed. mama jee def is a great mom and wants the best for her children, my only q is does she not have all these thoughts for ahmed? what he's doing where he is etc like she doesnt have anxiety for ahmed and he lives far way? or maybe she accepted it already idk, also she has aymen to go out with etc so not sure why all the attachment is only for wajeeh lol
I love their podcast and appreciate how they are targeting such sensitive topics which happens almost in every house but no one is Willing to discuss due to being judged . Trust me I respect all of them because it’s so raw not caring how they look . Great learning point for all of us to own who we are . Being honest even with negative traits you know ur not betraying anyone . People lie then show true colors when this family is doing the opposite. TOTAL RESPECT may we all learn to be honest with ourselves as well as everyone else to prevent further issues . 🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼
the difference between boys talk about marriage and girls talking about marriage is insane!!! loved this podcast so much especially with the yemeni and pakistani differences!
Would Adam expect his sisters to go and massage their mother in laws feet, married women go through so much turmoil and turbulence however instead of being in partnership with their husband and doing things together, they are expected to serve their mother in laws and massage feet. Why can't the MIL and wife go out together, get a pedicure done together. Why does it always have to be the wife being reduced to servant to prove themselves. Husbands don't have to prove nothing. Wajeeh is the only person here that understands the wife is also a human being. Women are progressive and also work but we are still in this mindset, it's actually very depressing and sad, breaks my heart.
Lmaoooo Adam and Slim acting brand new!! Wajeeh keep your boundaries with your parents for your mental health! I think Mamajee will learn to grow with you and change her parenting style. Wajeeh talking straight facts! I really understand your perspective!
honestlyyyyyyyyy ONE OF MY FAVOURITE EPISODES
Adam and Slim are stitching Wajeeh up 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
100% wajeeh is right .
Respectfully, Wajeeh don’t listen to Adam Saleh, he is the shortest delulu I’ve ever come across and that’s why he is still unmarried
😂😂
Poor Adam is so confused!! Unfortunately it seems like he has no personal boundaries or for his future partner. No proper understanding of companionship. It’s not healthy to always sacrificing. We have responsibility towards ourselves too. People pleasing is very toxic trait.
I hope he understands the basic of relationships. Also knowing how to prioritize & balance relationships. He needs alot of growing up!! Women now adays are very confident & wise, they don’t like to get into a messy family dynamics. That ruins the marriage.
I hope he learns something from Wajih.
I love how Wajeeh is concerned about his upcoming married life and decided to address the issues in desi households otherwise these issues are never addressed, the wives feel stressed throughout their lives and they cannot say anything so the man needs to take responsibility at that point.
seeing you three together again is iconic but siding with Wajeeh here!
My advice to all Helicopter Moms, trust that you’ve raised your children to live independently ❤ Worry is apart of parenthood but so is sitting back and letting them make their own life decisions.
I agree with wajeeh on this ❤
Adam stop letting everyone else choose your bride...end of the day you will have to live with your choice not anyone else
I'm seeing adam after ages . I simply unfollowed them after the video of adam kissin that girl and slim divorcing sofia 😬
And did you hear about why sofia left him? The haram these two have gotten up to... subhanAllah
Yeah , i have no idea why mama jee keeps saying she loves adam and no idea even why wajeeh is friends with both of them showing the world they they're nice and "humble"
let’s pray for adam future wife cus that’s crazy 😭
Guys yk what’s funny, Wajeeh made an episode on “mamas boys” and how they should have a balance and be able to STAND UP for their wife as well as respect their mom. That is exactly what he’s doing, standing up for his wife and voicing that want of privacy and stuff whilst still respecting his mom. And put this into perspective, would ur mom want her daughter to marry into a family where her husband doesn’t voice her needs and where her in laws are completly against moving out while still respecting parents. Also, mama-her didn’t stay with her in laws, she moved to America, not back in Pakistan with susaral.
Lol Adam and slim are those kameena mates 😂
Nah but what Adam said was FOUL💀