Divorce Lawyer ADVISES Married Couple | James Sexton

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  • Опубліковано 13 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 156

  • @jakenewfield
    @jakenewfield  17 днів тому +13

    Timeline:
    00:00 - Intro
    00:46 - The Conflict
    17:13 - How to FIX a marriage
    28:42 - Male vs Female Gender Roles
    34:19 - What women NEED
    40:35 - How to deal with Grief
    1:18:28 - How to be Authentic

  • @brianprince3629
    @brianprince3629 17 днів тому +157

    I love how the guy who's job it is to help people end marriages seems like a better marriage counselor than most marriage counselors...

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  17 днів тому +12

      Agreed!

    • @YesNo-qb9vl
      @YesNo-qb9vl 14 днів тому

      ​​@@jakenewfield "People don't realize how much it takes to makes things easy". They become attached and tyrants to that hard process to make things not hard. It's mental bureaucracy. Lol. Relax, take it easy. But it's next to impossible to take people (Dentist) out of that frame who succeded professionally thanks to that frame. They will start thinking about "what did Sexton say? Okay now I gotta be more understanding. Omygosh I need to this I need to that". But they will do the same with brand new Sexton ammunition. That's withstanding fundamental stuff like "I need to fuck", and then she gotta fuck you there's no discussion on that that's next to the main reason you got with her, but that's out the modern frame. And your need to fuck can't subsidize, men and women aren't equal on almost everything, but the fact that you both work and bring money overshadows that fact. Like there's an easy frame that's the rule in every southeast asian family: "the mother decides everything realted to inside the home and the father decides everything outside the home" it's just an example but it should inspire you don't look to have a say in every subject it's wrong simply wrong. Ill leave you on a last dime: women dont understand men's intrinsic need for power. It cuts back to the lemon example of Sexton and the "Why" and the question at the beginning of when to to compromise to "happy wife happy life" and why we're two different species with different operating softwares, I let you meditate on that. Ask your wife on a dissent if she feels the need for respect and proof of serviance from you part, be surprised by the answer.

    • @YesNo-qb9vl
      @YesNo-qb9vl 14 днів тому

      ​@@jakenewfield "People don't realize how much it takes to makes things easy". They become attached and tyrants to that hard process to make things not hard. It's mental bureaucracy. Lol. Relax, take it easy. But it's next to impossible to take people (Dentist) out of that frame who succeded professionally thanks to that frame. They will start thinking about "what did Sexton say? Okay now I gotta be more understanding. Omygosh I need to this I need to that". But they will do the same with brand new Sexton ammunition. That's withstanding fundamental stuff like "I need to fuck", and then she gotta fuck you there's no discussion on that that's next to the main reason you got with her, but that's out the modern frame. And your need to fuck can't subsidize, men and women aren't equal on almost everything, but the fact that you both work and bring money overshadows that fact. Like there's an easy frame that's the rule in every southeast asian family: "the mother decides everything realted to inside the home and the father decides everything outside the home" it's just an example but it should inspire you don't look to have a say in every subject it's wrong simply wrong. Ill leave you on a last dime: women dont understand men's intrinsic need for power. It cuts back to the lemon example of Sexton and the "Why" and the question at the beginning of when to to compromise to "happy wife happy life" and why we're two different species with different operating softwares, I let you meditate on that. Ask your wife on a dissent if she feels the need for respect and proof of serviance from you part, be surprised by the answer.

    • @Shangrila37
      @Shangrila37 13 днів тому +2

      Yes!!

    • @sds6303
      @sds6303 13 днів тому +3

      Depends on the marriage counselor. Some are not well trained, others are. I work with couples from time to time & it’s my job to be realistic with them.

  • @Lexi-i9b
    @Lexi-i9b 8 днів тому +22

    She’s a dentist and doing everything at home and you’re whining about packing time? Sorry to be blunt here: You need to put the work in. My husband and I had a lot of arguments when we had our second child. He wasn’t doing enough at home, I resented him and this totally killed my attraction for him. Financially we are pretty equal contributors and would be ok in a divorce and we almost got to that point. No one wants to parent their partner - it’s a complete turn off. She can leave if this continues and she will. Forget winning arguments (you’re also trying to win little anrguments with James and in the comments) and just be kinder. We have improved our relationship by being kinder in the ways we each needed. James is giving you priceless advice.

  • @AbrahamKingston
    @AbrahamKingston 9 днів тому +125

    It’s normal for relationships to encounter problems, but there’s always a way to navigate through them. My marriage faced major difficulties, but with the right support, my wife and I were able to solve our issues and fortify our bond. Solutions are possible if you’re committed to working together. Don’t give up-there’s always a solution.

    • @oglaskubuot
      @oglaskubuot 9 днів тому

      I’m facing significant relationship problems and can’t stand the idea of losing her. My love and longing for my partner are profound, and I’m ready to do anything to restore our connection. I would greatly appreciate any advice or help you could give.

    • @AbrahamKingston
      @AbrahamKingston 9 днів тому +1

      Moving on from someone you hold dear is invariably challenging, but in my experience, I was guided by a spiritual counselor who prevented the breakdown of my marriage. Her name is Suzanne Ann Walters.

    • @oglaskubuot
      @oglaskubuot 9 днів тому +1

      I appreciate your direction. I'll swiftly look her up online. Thanks. I'm hopeful that following this course of action will bring about positive changes for me too; her absence is deeply felt.

    • @AbrahamKingston
      @AbrahamKingston 9 днів тому

      You should... I promise you will not regret it.

  • @NYC1025
    @NYC1025 13 днів тому +48

    James Sexton never disappoints. I could hear him over and over again. So much wisdom.

  • @suzannegardner44
    @suzannegardner44 5 днів тому +11

    I find it interesting that none of the 3 people have suggested compromise. If he wants to leave on Monday, then she should negotiate: While I'm working on Saturday he should have the laundry done, bags packed, all baby gear ready for travel and the house cleaned. Then she would be ready to have a quick turn around and travel without being overwhelmed!

  • @musicbrazilian7065
    @musicbrazilian7065 14 днів тому +13

    At 45:21 I cried and I just wanted to give James Sexton a hug. At 1:43 James is making a good point most people dont think about "How can I be a more present and caring person to my partner? They usually only care when their partner is already into someone else.

  • @SergeAz
    @SergeAz 11 днів тому +16

    Happy wife happy life..
    James- "God, I hate that sentence"

  • @porcupine783
    @porcupine783 14 днів тому +69

    Make the dude pack and clean and prep for the baby and see how fast he needs two days

    • @musicbrazilian7065
      @musicbrazilian7065 13 днів тому +1

      @@porcupine783 Hahahaha!

    • @GamingWithFusion
      @GamingWithFusion 12 днів тому +6

      Still never get it. Going to work is far simpler than caring for a family and house all day every day. The shift never ends!

    • @utahman9564
      @utahman9564 12 днів тому +3

      ​@GamingWithFusion Then don't do it. Its either worth it or it isn't to have kids. Hard is relative to value.

    • @michaelsimmons8450
      @michaelsimmons8450 10 днів тому +1

      @porcupine783 men do it all the time. And we do it simpler and easier. Most of the things being addressed is more for the mother than the child. Putting things together at a place doesn't resonate from what I'm hearing and what I've seen in my life. There idea that men don't get it is sitcom logic. Dad's do as much or more for a huge if not the majority of American households. Now, is it to women's preferences, no, we're different and the needs and methods differ. But men do a damn fine job especially with record high single fathers. Keep an open mind and look around, you will see what I mean.

    • @alwaystheheart
      @alwaystheheart 9 днів тому +1

      this!!!

  • @SanktMoritz-oj6nt
    @SanktMoritz-oj6nt 4 години тому +1

    just adore this conversation

  • @TW-iw8nq
    @TW-iw8nq 7 днів тому +6

    Mr. Sexton You Give So Much To This World! Very Nice! 💫

  • @88Oleksiy
    @88Oleksiy 14 днів тому +27

    "I know she can do it a day"...well she may be can and she tell you straight in a face that she doesn't want to. And if you don't want to to stay for an extra day then offer her a help. Damn, just help her and you both will benefit

    • @acerpalmatum6446
      @acerpalmatum6446 12 днів тому +7

      I was thinking the same thing. She's carrying the mental load of baby care, home care, etc. He's obviously not thinking of any of that!

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  10 днів тому

      I agree with you

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  10 днів тому

      @@acerpalmatum6446 you're right

    • @michaelsimmons8450
      @michaelsimmons8450 10 днів тому +2

      @@88Oleksiy He did offer. Is it possible that you have some preconceived ideas of this is/would play out? He discussed dividing rolls. He seems very willing to help.

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  9 днів тому

      Thank you!!

  • @Trysaratop
    @Trysaratop 13 днів тому +37

    She looks good, takes care of two kids, has a great career and I don’t hear him talking about helping her with the chores instead trying to push her to get it done faster and he is going to burn her out and if she makes decent money and he doesn’t contribute to house chores to help then she doesn’t need him and love and intimacy is helping doing chores to unload stress not add to it.

    • @erwangaillard1637
      @erwangaillard1637 12 днів тому +1

      That’s why they are together because he is a jerk. If he was a better guy she would have left

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  10 днів тому +2

      @@erwangaillard1637 lol I hope not!

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  10 днів тому +2

      I agree she's amazing

    • @stinkiaapje
      @stinkiaapje День тому +1

      He literally said he would do the laundry. It is also not making assumptions based on your negative beliefs

  • @ArtByHazel
    @ArtByHazel 12 днів тому +6

    James Sexton is a great example of a masculine man who is emotionally intelligent and empathetic. He definitely is better than other psychologists/psychiatrists. ❤
    Thank you for this awesome podcast.

  • @paigedevine5796
    @paigedevine5796 13 днів тому +6

    One of the best podcasts I’ve watched in a while. Really was able to get the best of James Sexton as well as the two hosts.

  • @pb-gv1nc
    @pb-gv1nc 12 днів тому +4

    When I realized my husband was not againts me and just wanted the best for me, is when our relationship completely changed. James is so right

  • @Gho0ody
    @Gho0ody 8 днів тому +3

    I NEED this man for marriage counselling!!

  • @corinaspfx
    @corinaspfx 14 днів тому +8

    omg, watching james get misty eyed relating to the death of jake's youngest sister is just everything ❣

  • @theselfwithinus
    @theselfwithinus 13 днів тому +3

    I love this couple! How wise! I love how they help James Sexton with his grief and loss. Respect. True respect!

  • @acd1168
    @acd1168 15 днів тому +6

    This was so raw. I really enjoyed watching. Thanks so much for

  • @estelalugoadvocacy
    @estelalugoadvocacy 6 днів тому +3

    More of these please!!!❤

  • @EstherL-ir3mo
    @EstherL-ir3mo 14 днів тому +15

    lol calling your wife dude is wild 😂

  • @donnapiraino3323
    @donnapiraino3323 9 днів тому +6

    Can we get in the habit of saying Happy House Spouse …There are two people in the marriage……

  • @According2Jessika
    @According2Jessika 3 дні тому +1

    31:00
    Him: I like to think I’m emotionally in tune
    Her:🥴🤥
    this was a good show to watch; to see a Divorce Lawyer talking to a couple who are not bitter with each other was informative

  • @corinaspfx
    @corinaspfx 14 днів тому +23

    james sexton is the male version of esther perel - what a legend!

    • @YesNo-qb9vl
      @YesNo-qb9vl 14 днів тому

      "People don't realize how much it takes to makes things easy". They become attached and tyrants to that hard process to make things not hard. It's mental bureaucracy. Lol. Relax, take it easy. But it's next to impossible to take people (Dentist) out of that frame who succeded professionally thanks to that frame. They will start thinking about "what did Sexton say? Okay now I gotta be more understanding. Omygosh I need to this I need to that". But they will do the same with brand new Sexton ammunition. That's withstanding fundamental stuff like "I need to fuck", and then she gotta fuck you there's no discussion on that that's next to the main reason you got with her, but that's out the modern frame. And your need to fuck can't subsidize, men and women aren't equal on almost everything, but the fact that you both work and bring money overshadows that fact. Like there's an easy frame that's the rule in every southeast asian family: "the mother decides everything realted to inside the home and the father decides everything outside the home" it's just an example but it should inspire you don't look to have a say in every subject it's wrong simply wrong. Ill leave you on a last dime: women dont understand men's intrinsic need for respect. It cuts back to the lemon example of Sexton and I let you meditate on that.

    • @Shangrila37
      @Shangrila37 13 днів тому +2

      Great analogy! So true!

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  10 днів тому

      @@Shangrila37 I agree!

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  10 днів тому

      I agree

  • @donnapiraino3323
    @donnapiraino3323 9 днів тому +7

    Why Jake are you micro managing this woman about packing?? ….She knows exactly when to pack…Just STOP 🛑….seriously…She doesn’t need you to do her thinking for her…

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  9 днів тому +2

      I think you are right

    • @donnapiraino3323
      @donnapiraino3323 8 днів тому +2

      @ Thank you…Women are master multitaskers..Trust me…I’m saving you from tiny little micro bickering moments that are not even worth it …If you continue to needle her on this point it will annoy her….Just ask her if there is anything that you can help her with and if so needs she will tell you…We have a literal road map of the to do list in our head…💚

    • @WamMom2010
      @WamMom2010 3 дні тому +1

      ​ so true. It took my husband years to learn to ask "what do you need me to do" instead of making fun of me for packing ahead of time and making checklists.

    • @donnapiraino3323
      @donnapiraino3323 2 дні тому

      @ 💯💯We are Multitasking Masters…We literally have 10 different jobs going on at one time; We are organized, efficient, balanced and focused Don’t you dare say anything to screw me up and make my thinking system malfunction.Go back into your compartmental place if I need you I will call you …Men are single compartment thinking at all times…😂

  • @ShivaShaktification
    @ShivaShaktification 15 днів тому +20

    I'm exhausted and so happy to be single right now

    • @YesNo-qb9vl
      @YesNo-qb9vl 14 днів тому

      "People don't realize how much it takes to makes things easy". They become attached and tyrants to that hard process to make things not hard. It's mental bureaucracy. Lol. Relax, take it easy. But it's next to impossible to take people (Dentist) out of that frame who succeded professionally thanks to that frame. They will start thinking about "what did Sexton say? Okay now I gotta be more understanding. Omygosh I need to this I need to that". But they will do the same with brand new Sexton ammunition. That's withstanding fundamental stuff like "I need to fuck", and then she gotta fuck you there's no discussion on that that's next to the main reason you got with her, but that's out the modern frame. And your need to fuck can't subsidize, men and women aren't equal on almost everything, but the fact that you both work and bring money overshadows that fact. Like there's an easy frame that's the rule in every southeast asian family: "the mother decides everything realted to inside the home and the father decides everything outside the home" it's just an example but it should inspire you don't look to have a say in every subject it's wrong simply wrong. Ill leave you on a last dime: women dont understand men's intrinsic need for respect. It cuts back to the lemon example of Sexton and I let you meditate on that.

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  10 днів тому

      lol

  • @rmpurcell58
    @rmpurcell58 7 днів тому +3

    I felt like James was missing a lot of the conversation and Jake got the short end of this stick in this conversation. He was talking about leaving for the trip early vs leaving the trip later. And I am assuming that you have more family in boston than just your sister who passed away. What I hear is, After your sister passed away you went on a long journey of trying to find meaning in something that was awful. A solo journey, away from your family. You meet your now wife and move away, again, from your home base. In that time you brought a life into this world and thats when people want to be with their families the most. I think its important to remember that James is a divorce lawyer and not a psychologist.

    • @rmpurcell58
      @rmpurcell58 7 днів тому

      I want to add that I'm only half way through at 56 minutes

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  6 днів тому

      yeah I think you are spot on

  • @robinharris4247
    @robinharris4247 13 днів тому +2

    I totally agree with her because I do all those things as well.

  • @maymofoo8637
    @maymofoo8637 9 днів тому

    I LOVE that Chris just quoted Brandon Lee in the crow!!! “Mother is a name for God on the lips and hearts of all children”

  • @Katarzyna-h2z
    @Katarzyna-h2z 12 днів тому +4

    "We are feeling creatures that somethimes think"🎉

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  12 днів тому

      I also thought that was a good line

  • @DeconTheMonkey
    @DeconTheMonkey 12 днів тому +1

    Wow, i really love the conversation here. Deep stuff.

  • @barbaraschultz1442
    @barbaraschultz1442 8 днів тому +1

    Jim, good call getting regular couples to sit down and talk about reality. Maybe you can change legislation about family systems…

  • @danielharrington5690
    @danielharrington5690 День тому +3

    Like at least and consider subscribing to Jake. This man is releasing video after video and needs the support.

  • @olgasidorova8711
    @olgasidorova8711 11 днів тому +1

    You are so inspiring

  • @bisousandfood
    @bisousandfood 15 днів тому +3

    This posdcast really deserves more love! So glad it was recommended to me and i was able to understand how to understand my partner and being the most compassion as we can be to learn as about each other's feeling. Thank you for this, i would definitely re-listen to it again when the similar situation faces and remind myself to be more understanding to my partner. ❤

  • @acceleratedtrainingacademy
    @acceleratedtrainingacademy 12 днів тому +1

    This is incredible ❤

  • @YesNo-qb9vl
    @YesNo-qb9vl 13 днів тому +2

    Non-exclusive to need to be understood, men have the need to command influence and acceptance irrespective of being understood or not. That's the "ah she loves me. She'd take a bullet for me just like I do. She walks the walk."

  • @ryanarchuleta3754
    @ryanarchuleta3754 9 днів тому +2

    That lemon part was glossed over a little too fast.

  • @Thewrywriterjmg
    @Thewrywriterjmg 8 днів тому +1

    “Uh-chuther” 💀😭

  • @Coolman1985
    @Coolman1985 День тому

    James forgot this was a three person conversation 😂 everyone else was ahum ahum right yea ahum good point yea

  • @ena.takeover
    @ena.takeover 15 днів тому +3

    I love all about this, it shows how Feminism, or if that word is triggering to anyone - breaking up role-grooming (which doesn't necessarilly mean that typical 'masculine' and 'feminine' attributes do not have their place and time when they are authentic) is truly great for everyone. Meeting each other as feeling human beings always is the essence of everything. Thanks guys!!

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  10 днів тому +1

      thank you!

    • @funnymanatee
      @funnymanatee 3 дні тому +1

      The literal definition of feminism “the belief in social, economic, and political equality of the sexes.”
      When it comes to running a household with a marital (or otherwise agreed upon partner) those individuals need to communicate and together agree upon they way they would best like to divide up the responsibilities.

    • @stinkiaapje
      @stinkiaapje День тому

      The divorce laywer literally stated he believes in traditional gender roles.

  • @kenwarner
    @kenwarner 17 днів тому +1

    good luck y'all 💕

  • @Firefly-LitWithin
    @Firefly-LitWithin 11 днів тому +1

    The attorney says itch other instead of each other 😂

  • @michael028
    @michael028 12 днів тому +2

    If I hear “itch other” again I’m gonna freak out

  • @jenniferinthanon6674
    @jenniferinthanon6674 13 днів тому +1

    Omg, less than 3 minutes in…I was like, “typical dad to an infant!”. And the fact that he has more than one child too.

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  12 днів тому

      I'm the 2nd child that I was referring to

  • @lukebillingham1946
    @lukebillingham1946 23 години тому +1

    Unfortunately we all run out of things to say.
    Big fan of Sexton but he’s been on too many podcasts and says the same things. Which you have to do. Lol.
    Most people should just do one podcast, say their views and done.
    That’s why people lie the whole time. Want to come across more interesting and run out of things that they have actually done.

  • @barbaraschultz1442
    @barbaraschultz1442 8 днів тому +5

    Anyone who’s EVER worked a conference or a trade show in Vegas (or anywhere big), and not having time to recover or pack with a baby… seriously? My answer would be “go yourself” if he didn’t respect my and the family’s needs. She’s thinking ahead!! Most men only think about themselves. If you had a live in mother, might be easier

    • @stinkiaapje
      @stinkiaapje День тому

      You marriage will not survive if you treat your husband with missandry. View your partner as a human being and don't make it about yourself. Not considering the other side is is bad, you're doing worse than he is.

  • @jeandivine3
    @jeandivine3 12 днів тому +13

    The husband very clearly feels threatened by the attorney. He is running through the entire list of passive-aggressive moves, extremely little eye-contact, acting indifferent, doing other things and acting bored while the attorney is talking, dismissive, disapproving and skeptical tone of voice, questioning him in a subtle condescending (not constructive) way about his failures and about being an eccentric and unique guy, and on and on. The attorney is picking up heavily on it, is mostly unaffected but definitely reacting to it and isn't ashamed to keep being himself.

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  12 днів тому

      yeah I think I was sleep deprived and acting irritable... which is really a shame.

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  12 днів тому

      I really hope that my sleep deprivation/irritability wasn't noticeable... but clearly it was

    • @jeandivine3
      @jeandivine3 11 днів тому +2

      @@jakenewfield Hey man, I didn't think you'd actually read the comment and I never intended to insult or criticize anyone directly. It was just my observation, otherwise it was a good podcast. I'll take my comment down. Sleep deprivation sucks.

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  11 днів тому +2

      no need to delete the comment! I appreciate the observation. I need to receive critical feedback. I shouldn't be pissy or passive-aggressive towards my guests, and I need the feedback to help me for the next time (ideally I'll get to bed earlier, too)

    • @Sam-ng3of
      @Sam-ng3of 7 днів тому

      Have you considered the fact the attorney at times pathologises the man for being...a man and not more like a woman?

  • @ahdorbfidks
    @ahdorbfidks День тому

    takes a lot of guts to become a dentist especially because the debt 😭 that’s a career where you really got to see it through

  • @michaelsimmons8450
    @michaelsimmons8450 12 днів тому +1

    I dunno, sounds like the man said what he wanted, she said what she wanted. And she was pissed that he wanted to negotiate their desires. She's like, I said I don't want to, how dare you try to negotiate otherwise

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  10 днів тому

      lol trust me, Christina is the more rational one here!

  • @cassielawyer87
    @cassielawyer87 12 днів тому +4

    Yo…you need two days to pack. 9 month old and all the way from one coast to another? Bro, you’re coconuts!

  • @Mel-f8y8t
    @Mel-f8y8t 14 днів тому +2

    56:54 Are you sure James?

  • @jakenewfield
    @jakenewfield  9 днів тому

    What was your favorite part of the interview? Let me know!

  • @Sam-ng3of
    @Sam-ng3of 7 днів тому +2

    Some good points but James, the solution isn't men becoming more like women lol. Women need to understand men better too. We are not the same and never will be. Meet in the middle, not on the woman's side.

  • @kristinetank3959
    @kristinetank3959 14 днів тому +2

    27 mins in...I dont give a shit what day you two leave....just leave the conversation and move on.

  • @annaholden2406
    @annaholden2406 14 днів тому +1

    🌟

  • @bearmanguy
    @bearmanguy 8 днів тому

    This is one of the worst click-bait titles ive seen in years

    • @jakenewfield
      @jakenewfield  6 днів тому

      can you give me a recommendation of what to change the title to? I'll change it

  • @queenkristine9590
    @queenkristine9590 12 днів тому +5

    “half a day” I’d divorce the attorney just for being so ignorant

  • @christinebeames712
    @christinebeames712 12 днів тому +2

    Let him Do the chores and pack and look after the child ,he couldn’t do it

  • @YesNo-qb9vl
    @YesNo-qb9vl 13 днів тому +2

    Men lead, if she doesn't follow you to boston it's on her. And trying to convince is a disrespect of frame. Like this is non-exclusive to what Sexton said but at the end of the day you respect her for dishing out your insides for that decision her respect lies in following you irrespective of her opinion, just like her mother followed her father to america and my mother followed my father to canada. The best respect you can give her is continuing to be kind and strong to honor her sacrifice.

  • @danielharrington5690
    @danielharrington5690 День тому

    Beautiful wife brother, proud of you 😢😂