Pronouns: why we should not play along.

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  • Опубліковано 21 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 8 тис.

  • @clairabelle23
    @clairabelle23 Рік тому +111

    May I ask what you would do if you said "I have no special requests" and someone misgendered you ?

    • @theradicalcenter
      @theradicalcenter  Рік тому +569

      Good question. If the person seemed to be somehow confused but acting on good faith I might ask some clarifying questions or offer a correction. If he or she seemed belligerent, I would probably ignore the "misgendering" because I'm not interested in getting baited into a conflict. I don't think it's healthy to get too worked up over what other people think of me.

    • @gratefuldad4092
      @gratefuldad4092 Рік тому +180

      Personally, I would say to them “I’m obviously male“ and then await their response.

    • @aliwilkinson2485
      @aliwilkinson2485 Рік тому +202

      You correct them, make a joke out of it and crack on with your day, like we’ve always done

    • @bobrandom5545
      @bobrandom5545 Рік тому +10

      @@theradicalcenter Would you care if someone consistently referred to you as "He"?

    • @ritzie3131
      @ritzie3131 Рік тому +55

      You presented this topic reasonably and articulately. I agree with your points.

  • @EllyInVideoland
    @EllyInVideoland Рік тому +4381

    My brother and I just lost both of our jobs at the same time because we would not give in to the pressure of putting our pronouns in our bios. We stood our ground for truth.

    • @jamaicanaturalhair
      @jamaicanaturalhair Рік тому +440

      That was not a good place of employment in the first place. Greater things are in store for you

    • @johfu4705
      @johfu4705 Рік тому +235

      You will find a better job in a better place. God bless!

    • @hike2024
      @hike2024 Рік тому +162

      Awesome, you both did the right thing. You will be better because of it.

    • @Lynnefromlyn
      @Lynnefromlyn Рік тому +220

      Surely that is constructive dismissal? I don’t think it’s on employment law that you have to give your pronouns. What a backward looking, cowardly employer you’ve had!

    • @ttrev007
      @ttrev007 Рік тому +178

      i wonder if their are any laws against political discrimination? maybe talk to a lawyer. Or even gender discrimination since they are forcing you to out your gender identity.

  • @transitionsnc
    @transitionsnc Рік тому +3987

    Pronouns are the gateway drug to a larger ideology. Our kindness and politeness is weaponized against us.

    • @DorianPaige00
      @DorianPaige00 Рік тому +6

      Do you believe someone should be allowed to cross dress or use a wallet if female or a purse if male? Should one be banished from the park for that offense?

    • @miller-joel
      @miller-joel Рік тому

      One day you're wearing a face diaper, and the next day you're injecting an experimental treatment...

    • @socialmoth4974
      @socialmoth4974 Рік тому +275

      ​@@DorianPaige00 Of course they should be allowed to, but it doesn't mean we need to participate with them.

    • @derektrudelle4182
      @derektrudelle4182 Рік тому

      Yes, the larger ideology being Marxism

    • @lindarothera7838
      @lindarothera7838 Рік тому +18

      So true

  • @paulmiller7775
    @paulmiller7775 Рік тому +656

    I recently lost my job of nearly 35years for refusing to go along with this, for the very reasons you so articulately expressed. It is compelled speech and it's always wrong! Thank you.

    • @wedgetailleather
      @wedgetailleather Рік тому +48

      Harassment, in fact. I don’t know where you reside but in Australia that would probably be a case for unfair dismissal on the grounds of bullying and discrimination… it is funny how that last word works both ways, but not funny that you lost your job. I hope you find something better.

    • @garyrudolph-hp9up
      @garyrudolph-hp9up Рік тому +49

      Sue them; get a lawyer who will work for a share of the settlement. Take this public; talk shows, online shows. Call this company out by name as loud as you can. Civil rights violation; labor rights violations involve gov't agencies.

    • @ajkendro3413
      @ajkendro3413 Рік тому +32

      Paul Miller you may have a law suit because the company was asking you to, in some cases, share in someone else's delusion and in others out right lie. These could also be a first amendment violation of free speech.

    • @babysis6.059
      @babysis6.059 Рік тому +17

      I hope you have an attorney to sue them, that's outrageous, I wish you the best

    • @paulmiller7775
      @paulmiller7775 Рік тому +32

      @@ajkendro3413 Thanks! I have seriously considered it and many of my friends at church have encouraged me to do so. I have considered contacting the Alliance of Defending Freedom to see what my options are.

  • @drwhatson
    @drwhatson Рік тому +26

    "There is no swifter route to the corruption of thought than through the corruption.of language." (George Orwell)
    Cults use your vocabulary but they don't use your dictionary.

    • @miriamrobarts
      @miriamrobarts 2 місяці тому +1

      This is the thing I don't understand. Why don't they make up new words, instead of trying to change definitions of existing words?

    • @drwhatson
      @drwhatson 2 місяці тому +2

      @@miriamrobarts Because the whole point is to sow confusion and manipulate the dialogue.

  • @mrswags73
    @mrswags73 Рік тому +1537

    When asked for my pronouns I say “ I have no special requests “and if they push I tell them I have no desire to dictate your speech. Use whatever pronouns you want for me and if they aren’t correct I promise I will not crumble

    • @levans3447
      @levans3447 Рік тому +32

      So you are playing along as if it's even a valid question.

    • @TheFiddle101
      @TheFiddle101 Рік тому +94

      I like your response, especially the 'I will not crumble' - neat way to turn the tables

    • @LadyVioIa
      @LadyVioIa Рік тому +16

      @@levans3447 just out of curiosity, what would you consider to be an appropriate response to the person who asks what your pronouns are?

    • @5Gburn
      @5Gburn Рік тому +34

      ​@@LadyVioIa I don't know about Levans or anyone else, but I'd laugh my head off and change the subject. "So...how about those Lakers?" 😂

    • @5Gburn
      @5Gburn Рік тому +10

      Perfect 10 response!

  • @robertbeckman2054
    @robertbeckman2054 Рік тому +433

    I’m a gen x’r and the whole pronoun thing has felt wrong in many ways, but haven’t had it explained so succinctly, until now. Well done.

    • @RunToEternity
      @RunToEternity Рік тому +7

      As a Gen X myself, the time I have to spend on this sort of tripe, I could have learned a fifth of another language instead of pronouns.
      Now that I know, that is how they work, and I don't care.
      I have known how they work longer than I care to say, and I wish they just didn't.
      But whatever, it is here now and I'll just ignore it right?
      Like the one word, that is de-based of all languages, you can spell it on the Periodic Table of elements.
      Br, bromine
      U, uranium
      H, hydrogen
      The one word that should never be said, by anyone who has twice the intellect to breathe.

    • @vincenzobonadonna4556
      @vincenzobonadonna4556 Рік тому +3

      Your generation raised the generation that started this stuff

    • @jamieleeleblanc
      @jamieleeleblanc Рік тому

      I am also a Gen X but didn't raise my kids into insanity. Liberal Gen X parents caused this mess. My kids were raised the same way I was and my kids are also shocked at the level of stupidity of all of this and how bad public schools and colleges are pushing hard to normalize crazy.

    • @jackgeary6928
      @jackgeary6928 Рік тому +6

      @@vincenzobonadonna4556 at least gen x was around to raise its kids.

    • @fd502
      @fd502 Рік тому

      @@vincenzobonadonna4556 Look you went to school right? Maybe you were homeschooled or in private schools but public schools are government schools. I’m a bit older so you know what they pushed on us? Military enlistment. I’m sure some parents tried to stop it but I’m sure some kids didn’t listen.

  • @DoubleBarrelDarrell
    @DoubleBarrelDarrell Рік тому +265

    "I support anyone's right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?" ~ Dave Chappelle

    • @Caitanyadasa108
      @Caitanyadasa108 Рік тому +10

      This quote is why I think comedians are essential to a healthy society--the good ones are always astute observers of various aspects of the human condition able to break down complex issues to essentials.

    • @kthx1138
      @kthx1138 Рік тому +8

      Right on. I don't have to participate in someone's delusion.

    • @LALABIOLOGYRULES
      @LALABIOLOGYRULES Рік тому +4

      why can't we also challenge the things they want to be? giving them an inch is a signal to them to take a mile

    • @ThePunikaTV
      @ThePunikaTV 7 місяців тому +1

      It's actually quiet easy: To the extent you do all the time everyday. If a Robert introduces himself as Bob and you still call him Robert you might just be a dick. Why is it different with pronouns?

    • @architennis
      @architennis 3 місяці тому +2

      @@ThePunikaTV Pronouns aren't personal, they're categorical. That's what's different.

  • @tacticaltruthteller
    @tacticaltruthteller Рік тому +24

    “The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use the words” - Philip K. Dick.

  • @sassyghost_8
    @sassyghost_8 Рік тому +252

    Yeah, I’m going to need this video to become an official PSA because you hit the nail on the head in a way that is both informative and kind. A lot of people tend to get angry when talking about this topic and it comes off as combative and divisive. That’s not present here. This was a perfect breakdown of facts that people should really be taking to heart if society is going to move forward from this. There’s a major mental health problem in the West and instead of addressing it, it’s being condoned and promoted. Sad times.

    • @Christian.jsf1
      @Christian.jsf1 Рік тому +5

      So true

    • @glendacollins2898
      @glendacollins2898 Рік тому +9

      Borderline and Narcissistic Personality Disorders writ large and supported by those delighted to use them for their larger purposes.

    • @thekinarbo
      @thekinarbo Рік тому

      The world's first tranny and homosexual clinic and sex shop was established in Berlin in 1919 by Magnus Hirschfeld.
      "We Jews, we, the destroyers, will remain the destroyers for ever. Nothing that you will do will meet our needs and demands. We will for ever destroy because we need a world of our own, a God-world, which it is not in your nature to build." -- Maurice Samuels in 'You Gentiles', 1942, p. 155

    • @sirrathersplendid4825
      @sirrathersplendid4825 Рік тому +1

      It’s so easy to get angry with this pronoun b.s. as we all know it’s just the thin end of the wedge. But Leslie is right, the best response is just to politely decline to participate. “I have no special requests, thank you”, delivered with a gentle smile, is the perfect response.

  • @stephenjohnson1112
    @stephenjohnson1112 Рік тому +296

    What I do is first say, “Are you sure it’s OK. I mean, I don’t want to impose.” Given encouragement, I say, “Thank you for the freedom to finally express my inner self. My pronoun is “His Sublime Majesty.”

    • @jamaicanaturalhair
      @jamaicanaturalhair Рік тому +24

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

    • @christianlibertarian5488
      @christianlibertarian5488 Рік тому +19

      I have tried "His Majesty." I like yours better.

    • @littlebluefish6606
      @littlebluefish6606 Рік тому +23

      LOL! I’ve used Her Royal Highness, Goddess Divine and Supreme Mother.

    • @margomcdaniel5445
      @margomcdaniel5445 Рік тому +5

      good start--make it longer

    • @samuelschick8813
      @samuelschick8813 Рік тому

      I'll just tell them " my pronouns are asshole and bigot. Because when I point out the idiot-city of it all that's what you'll call me anyway."
      I refuse to play along with the mental illness known as trans ideology.

  • @karenfriesen280
    @karenfriesen280 Рік тому +273

    I never thought of this in narcissistic terms. You helped me articulate why I am uncomfortable with this-I am endorsing someone’s fragility. You are very insightful. Thank you.

    • @georgebush3327
      @georgebush3327 Рік тому +4

      Narcassism is a serious mental condition and is unrelated to what this person is talking about.
      She's saying that a person having agency over their own identity is narcissist. The two concepts just don't fit together. Personally I would use a different word.

    • @karenfriesen280
      @karenfriesen280 Рік тому +21

      @@georgebush3327 That was not my understanding. I believe the point being made is that it is narcissistic to expect (many even demand) others to participate in your fantasy and to become angry when they do not comply. I am of the mind that a person can assume characteristics of being male or female, but that biology is the only true determinant. To use pronouns indicates I subscribe to the idea that one can change their gender, thereby entering into the “fantasy”. Perhaps narcissism isn’t the correct label, but regardless, it doesn’t seem to me these are mentally well people.

    • @georgebush3327
      @georgebush3327 Рік тому +1

      @@karenfriesen280 It sounds like you agree narcissistic is the wrong word. And I'll just add that using that word to describe people you don't like makes it more difficult for actual narcissists and the victims of narcissists to recive help.

    • @georgebush3327
      @georgebush3327 Рік тому +1

      @@karenfriesen280
      "it doesn’t seem to me these are mentally well people." Based on what?

    • @karenfriesen280
      @karenfriesen280 Рік тому +14

      @@georgebush3327 Based on the ever morphing ideology of being a victim. Victimhood itself is not a sign of mental well-being. Based on who we know seeks gender affirming care-an unprecedented number of teenagers fall into categories of depression (which even after years of pharmaceutical intervention like puberty blockers) are not less depressed. Many of these are likely struggling with being gay and believe if they can change their gender they will be in a better place emotionally. Based on a very disproportionate number of autistic children subscribing to trans-ism, as well as children who have a history of sexual abuse. It’s worth reading Abigail Shrier’s book, Irreversible Damage. At the cost of seeming “progressive”, we may be doing untold damage to a whole generation. For these reasons and more, I will not be participating in attempts to reframe language to appease an ideology.

  • @pakhlova
    @pakhlova Рік тому +25

    5 minutes after I watched your video my manager in NGO I worked in, informed us that we'll have to name our pronouns in chats O.o And thanks to you I was able to raise my voice and said "no". My NGO provides psychological support to teens and young adults, not only but mainly. And we as psychologists, psychotherapists and other mental health workers in the first message after saying "hi" would have to affirm their delusional view of the world and play along... nah... Crazy. Just crazy. Thank you for your voice though! It's so important and refreshing to hear sanity online 😍🤗

  • @Louis-wp3fq
    @Louis-wp3fq Рік тому +966

    The pronoun thing is the thin wedge of speech control under the disguise of "politeness." And politeness is a choice, not socially enforced. It's a huge, narcissistic burden to place upon other people, and I will never do it for anyone.

    • @markcavandish1295
      @markcavandish1295 Рік тому +21

      Well said

    • @marna_li
      @marna_li Рік тому +36

      But to these people who are into the "pronoun game" this is not about simply politeness, but someone not acknowledging their sacred sense of identity. And yes, it is uttermost narcissistic by them to make anyone who don't go along an enemy of them. While we might see it is a politeness to use their "preferred pronouns", it is not to them.

    • @mrswags73
      @mrswags73 Рік тому +1

      Nice!

    • @marna_li
      @marna_li Рік тому +35

      @@republitarian484 The people who teach Critical Theory and all of its derivatives talk about language being what is shaping our world view. That is why they want to control language.

    • @phillipdavis6021
      @phillipdavis6021 Рік тому +5

      If using pronouns is a burden to you that sounds like a skill issue lol.

  • @richiefoerster7574
    @richiefoerster7574 Рік тому +197

    This needs to be said a million more times, by a million more people.

  • @petrus4
    @petrus4 Рік тому +144

    As a rule of thumb, whenever you hear the word "identity," you are actually hearing the word "ego." I think it is educational to reflect on the fact that historical religions (Buddhism in particular) encouraged reduction of the ego, while contemporary society encourages the gratification and expansion of it.

    • @debshipman4697
      @debshipman4697 Рік тому +2

      The whole spiritual movement is about unpeeling ego.

    • @HighPriestessK
      @HighPriestessK Рік тому

      Well said 😊

    • @malcolmchevrier6866
      @malcolmchevrier6866 Рік тому

      Be careful you do not "trigger" any of the snowflakes with the term, "rule of thumb." That term was coined centuries ago and relates to the thickness of a stick you use to beat your wife when she misbehaves. Unless, of course, that was your intention.

    • @119Agent
      @119Agent Рік тому +1

      Ayn Rand was big on ego.

    • @counselorguy5481
      @counselorguy5481 Рік тому +1

      "Egocentric" is the term I believe.

  • @SirChristopher365
    @SirChristopher365 Рік тому +50

    You know, I think "I have no special requests" is honestly the PERFECT way to handle it.
    Thank you very much for the advice! 🙏

  • @honey3762
    @honey3762 Рік тому +395

    When my professor asked for pronouns for the class, most the class didn’t give them. One girl gave her first name and said “shehim” and the professor asked for her last name… HER LAST NAME WAS SHEHIM! I ALMOST DIED LAUGHING! THAT POOR GIRL!

    • @RawOlympia
      @RawOlympia Рік тому +6

      : )

    • @idid138
      @idid138 Рік тому +3

      I hope you take Shehim under your wing.

    • @viviannichols3582
      @viviannichols3582 Рік тому +24

      This is the best story I’ve ever heard about this nonsense. 😆

    • @jerrylong6238
      @jerrylong6238 Рік тому +2

      What a crock. I hope you're not serious.

    • @jerrylong6238
      @jerrylong6238 Рік тому

      @@viviannichols3582 Story is the correct word alright.

  • @dawnmariechamp4952
    @dawnmariechamp4952 Рік тому +135

    I had exactly the same situation happen to me in one of my Masters level courses. Where everyone was introducing themselves with their pronouns. I just introduced myself without pronouns and all of the ‘woke’ people in the class decided to ask me. When I replied ‘I am a girl, a woman and you can address me as such. I was told that that was really rude with the teacher even telling me that I was not. It is getting messed up.

    • @virginiaoflaherty2983
      @virginiaoflaherty2983 Рік тому +26

      Wow! They were rude and hostile. I would think of that as a hostile environment.

    • @merrimcarthur7198
      @merrimcarthur7198 Рік тому

      "woke" has become the maga of the left. note: i am a leftie/liberal. i find it disturbing that it is only men who can now use the term "woman". we actual women are being erased, reduced to biological functions, at best. now, we are rude for simply pointing out the truth?? well, what about our truth?? does that not matter?? this is all sooooo messed up.

    • @CK-solutions
      @CK-solutions Рік тому

      HA! I'm sorry, but that's simply hysterical. Each one in your class (including the teacher) had to pass through a woman's womb and vagina, to deny that you were a woman. 🤣 They just argued that they didn't exist.

    • @elisehill3574
      @elisehill3574 Рік тому +4

      So crazy. What state do you go to school in, if you don't mind me asking. I'm in Chicago..

    • @jacobnash9755
      @jacobnash9755 Рік тому +4

      It's really bad in some areas. Like public school in Denver. The people there are really starting to identify as mile "high" with their pronoun aggression.

  • @mxvega1097
    @mxvega1097 Рік тому +254

    I work in a public service environment and we have had so many years of politics around languages, cultures, and ethnicity, that pronouns are both "just the latest insanity" but also the easiest to deflect. It came up at a staff meeting, and happily had just blown up in a party political sense in the days prior, so I simply said "it sounds political, we're politically neutral, so need to be careful not to get ahead of public service norms". I also have a strong aversion to any suggestion that language itself is harmful, or hurtful, or violence of some kind. Maybe it's the excellent work by CBT counselors over the years who have instilled in me a strong sense of "thoughts and feelings cannot harm you, let them come, let them go, you will be fine". In public or political discourse, the notion that speech is somehow violence can only have negative outcomes, shut down free speech, have a chilling effect on discourse and interpersonal discussion, and generally create a climate of fear, trepidation, censoring, and affront. That's no way to run a relationship or a family, so how can it be good practice scaled to community or workplace level?

    • @TheSwissChalet
      @TheSwissChalet Рік тому +15

      That's it in a nutshell! Excellent comment, thanks!

    • @lm3049
      @lm3049 Рік тому +11

      A very concise, excellent comment. Mind if I copy it so I can put it up on my cork board and read as a daily reminder?

    • @spiritmatter1553
      @spiritmatter1553 Рік тому +5

      A most intelligent and informed comment! 👍🏻

    • @nakedenby
      @nakedenby Рік тому +1

      Well that's all very interesting but the bottom line is do you accept the existence of transgender people?

    • @TheSwissChalet
      @TheSwissChalet Рік тому +5

      @@nakedenby all kinds of sin exist…what does that have to do with anything?

  • @brasileirosim5961
    @brasileirosim5961 Рік тому +31

    I am 61 and I am genuinely insecure about the pronouns. Last year was the first time I was personally confronting with the problem.
    I am happy you did this video. You said what I also think, although I wasn’t able to put it in words. Another point: I can imagine people inventing new categories of gender, demanding new pronouns for these categories, complicating the situation even more.

  • @gsand07
    @gsand07 Рік тому +91

    This is one of the best commentaries on the "Pronoun Agenda" I have heard! Thank you for sharing your kind, polite, well thought out opinion. ❤

  • @TheAndreacoble
    @TheAndreacoble Рік тому +457

    On a medical form it asked me 4 different ways what my gender & "sex" was. I wrote "vagina" where it asked "sex". This form was so ridiculous I decided to write in big letters over the entire section: "If my body was exhumed and a DNA analysis was done, it would be indisputable that I was a woman. I was born with a female reproductive system and therefore I am female. As indicated, I am a "Mrs" who has birthed 2 children. If you have further questions on this topic, let me know so I can find another doctor".

    • @reginaford8575
      @reginaford8575 Рік тому +21

      Federal mandates for these silly questions. Money!!!! Medical funding from government Medicaid and Medicare is 62% of funding

    • @mikeb359
      @mikeb359 Рік тому +14

      You should have just answered when it asked "Sex" on that paperwork. You should have written 2-3 times a week.. with men" or Women.. whichever you prefer.

    • @debbievinsant4610
      @debbievinsant4610 Рік тому +15

      I wrote your a doctor I’ll let you figure it out!

    • @mr.ch4rli3_
      @mr.ch4rli3_ Рік тому +6

      Okay, but what if the persons chromosomes don't line up? What if they are hermaphrodites? What if the biochemical process that led to hermaphroditism in some people can manifest itself in a variety of ways, some developing both genitalia or some developing the wrong genitalia. We live in a new world with alot of radiation in the air, chemicals in our foods, the plastics in our bodies, the chemicals from all the burning fossil fuels.
      So many different factors are leading to a variety of uh, I don't want to say mutations because it's seen as negative, but that is what is happening.
      To treat this whole thing we need to fix how we live. Fix how we farm, how we get around, how we treat our environments.
      This isn't going away and thankfully it's only truly affecting 0.02% of the population.
      Everyone deserves the right to feel good about or confident in our skin. And everyone should have access and the right to best treatment. For Trans folk it's Gender Affirmation Care.
      Nothing else so far has help, no conversion therapy, there's not medication that fixes the mind. Psychotherapy, C.b.t and even D.B.T are not very affect when it goes against how someone identifies In their core.

    • @bossmom3902
      @bossmom3902 Рік тому +31

      @@mr.ch4rli3_ we are not talking about those people. We know they exist but they are not the people we mean when this topic is brought up….

  • @DreamTiger5
    @DreamTiger5 Рік тому +48

    A need for external validation and narcissism, that’s the problem in a nutshell. Well done putting what we’re all feeling into words.
    Not too long ago I did an interview for a job at a library and the interviewers introduced themselves with their pronouns. All of them were normal from what I could tell so presumably it was just to make trans applicants feel more welcomed, but it had the opposite effect of making me uncomfortable. When the questions presented were more interested in my history of inclusivity than my skills, I knew it was a lost cause.

    • @EthanConstantinescu-nl1nz
      @EthanConstantinescu-nl1nz Рік тому

      Oh, ok, I'll just call you by the wrong pronouns and everyone else will also call you by the wrong pronouns. But you don't need external validation, do you? Or are you a narcissist?

  • @rimjobledouche5201
    @rimjobledouche5201 Рік тому +75

    If they control your language, they can control you.
    You put this so much more thoughtfully than I could.

    • @burleybater
      @burleybater Рік тому +3

      That is exactly it. Control of language.
      If you love language, and respect the beauty and the power of it, the last thing you want to do is give over the ownership of it - to anyone.
      Language needs to be as free as a breath of air.
      It is all we really have to organize our thoughts, our minds, our meanings into something we can share in a useful and civilized way.

  • @fairplayer7435
    @fairplayer7435 Рік тому +822

    I am an African. A mere 25 years ago, I had such admiration for the accomplishments of many westerners. They had built a functioning world despite all its known flaws and errors. Nowadays I feel mostly pity and sadness for what they have become. A people lost in their own mental illnesses.

    • @QuotidianStupidity
      @QuotidianStupidity Рік тому

      As with anything, you can’t state it as being true for everyone any more that you can say all Africans are starving and living off handouts from the developed world.
      But yes, the idea of Wokism is an issue that has become prevalent in mainstream thinking, and mainstream media.
      Coupled with the current wave of feminism and the idea that everyone is a victim, it isn’t going down a path of empowerment, enlightenment and understanding, it’s creating tension and anger.

    • @catherinemoreau3419
      @catherinemoreau3419 Рік тому +36

      Well said. A dieing culture.

    • @KaiserInGilroy2K
      @KaiserInGilroy2K Рік тому +11

      You truly know da wae, bruddah.

    • @LysisZero
      @LysisZero Рік тому

      It's not all Americans. Just the 0.01%. The media chooses to only show you these topics and misguided or water down facts and truths. Absolutely this pride crap has destroyed the American family. But Americans have finally had enough and viewing pride the same as nazi ideology and if these rainbow warriors keep pushing there gonna find themselves in an over the top extreme violence scenario where they can claim genocide and it actually being factual. They chose ped0s over American freedoms and liberties. They pissed off every world religion, they pissed off every single American vet, all 16,000,000 with the display of the pride flag where the American flag was. Don't listen to the American govt as it does not represent the people. We Americans are all for a unipolar world where axis powers do not exist. We are happy to make world friends without political warmongers and dictators. The world has a common enemy that is attacking there religions and beliefs and faiths. This is the ideal time to put our political difference aside and unite against a common evil. One that targets children to become uneducated marxist monsters. Bent on war because nobody with a shred of sanity will listen to them.

    • @gratefuldad4092
      @gratefuldad4092 Рік тому +12

      Truth

  • @Growmap
    @Growmap Рік тому +31

    Thank you. Whenever I run into this issue going forward, I may just send them a link to your video. The first time I agreed to take a business related survey and they asked "what gender do you most identify with", I declined to take the survey. And told the person (who I respected for their business abilities) why. She responded, "what it is about that question that you find objectionable?" and I replied that is has no basis in reality. That was the end of that discussion. Around that time, LinkedIn repeatedly asked me to add my pronouns (which I ignored). Now I avoid engaging with people who have pronouns on their profiles anywhere. And when someone appears in a Twitter chat who has pronouns on their bio, I don't follow them as I usually would. As this video clearly explains, it is not healthy for other or us to support this agenda.

  • @Myperfectshell
    @Myperfectshell Рік тому +200

    For what it’s worth, I’ve noticed a decline over the past few years in playing this game. I work for a large tech company, and I’ve observed people have quietly had it. We’ve never been (officially) pressured to state pronouns, but those who care to often do loud and proud, as we’ve all witnessed. But a solid half of people don’t even go there. And I’m one of them.
    Thank you for being brave enough to talk about this.

    • @transitionsnc
      @transitionsnc Рік тому +1

      Good for you.

    • @Wandering.Homebody
      @Wandering.Homebody Рік тому +12

      I teach German as a foreign language to foreign tech company employees, and this woke stuff invariably comes up at some point or other, and not a single one of my several hundreds or maybe thousands of students has ever expressed a voluntary preference for stating pronouns etc. When asked directly, in a small group, or one on one, and it's made clear that they are allowed to be truthful, practically 100% of them turn out to be secretly nonwoke, and just perfectly based.

    • @sylviam6535
      @sylviam6535 Рік тому +3

      People have definitely had it and it’s about to boil over.

    • @billyb4790
      @billyb4790 Рік тому +4

      Yes I’m often in very large zoom conferences and now only see maybe one out of one hundred doing the pronoun thing. I’m hoping this will be a 5hing of the last like pet rocks in the 1970s.

    • @sassyghost_8
      @sassyghost_8 Рік тому +8

      I’m seeing more an more people, regardless of political belief, become more vocal against this stuff and it’s so refreshing. I was never on board with this stuff and the people who push it can be so insufferable that I’ve never felt like it was the right thing to do. I’ve suffered with mental illness and have dealt with other people with mental illness since my teens (I’m now approaching 30) and I’m well aware that you don’t feed delusions in someone who is unstable or throwing a tantrum. It only makes them fall deeper into the delusion.

  • @greatscott369
    @greatscott369 Рік тому +11

    Don't let anybody tell you what you can and can't say, ever.

  • @pegatheetoo1437
    @pegatheetoo1437 Рік тому +49

    Thank you!! I refuse to go along with someone's fantasy view of themselves. I call 'em as I see 'em. I think it just makes them believe even more strongly in their fantasy. It's sick & I don't understand why society is demanding we play along instead of helping them!!

  • @jimpoole6037
    @jimpoole6037 Рік тому +206

    I am a pediatrician/adolescent physician of over 45 years, dealing w mental health in this population. Your summary of your approach is excellent. Always accept others, and what I do say: “I respect you and expect the same respect in return to honor my feelings (this is dealing w feelings and emotions not scientific reality), I have no pronoun and do not use them in others because I am uncomfortable doing so, thank you.”

    • @margomcdaniel5445
      @margomcdaniel5445 Рік тому +2

      all emotions

    • @eleegee
      @eleegee Рік тому

      You have no pronoun? Lmao. Are you a genderless being? Do we just not address you.. by anything?

    • @nakedenby
      @nakedenby Рік тому +4

      As a fellow medic of similar years, I respect your discomfort and your passive neutral approach in avoiding the use of any pronoun. I personally don't have an issue with addressing people how they prefer but I don't understand why those who object don't follow your very reasonable example. There's no essential need to use either pronouns or prefixes.
      The problems are all created by a tiny minority of arrogant personalities who insist on maliciously using a non-preferred pronoun to make some silly political point or make themselves feel better when this is entirely unnecessary. Their intent is to be spiteful and cause offence even if the recipient isn't actually that bothered. It's at best disingenuous of these objectors to claim they are criticised for 'using the wrong pronoun'.
      No one should be forced to display their own pronouns or prefixes and I've never encountered this in any field. I doubt the veracity of these stories. Conversely I know of several verified cases of people being prohibited from quoting their preferred pronouns.

    • @TheAstilesus
      @TheAstilesus Рік тому +4

      Respect is earned, not given. If people reject reason and rational thought, they are not worthy of respect.

    • @nakedenby
      @nakedenby Рік тому +2

      @@TheAstilesus Don't know what planet you inhabit but no, respect does not need to be 'earned' by anyone. You're just repeating a silly cliche. Respect is a fundamental entitlement. Are you saying ppl who reject YOUR reason are not worthy? That's a very insular and arrogant position. Transphobia isn't rational but transphobic people still deserve respect.

  • @MH-yd9he
    @MH-yd9he Рік тому +175

    “I have no special requests” love that answer to the pronoun question.

    • @wiseonwords
      @wiseonwords Рік тому +18

      I like the fact that it also contains a criticism of the person who asks this sort of question - that they are demanding "special requests" or special treatment.

    • @reezlaw
      @reezlaw Рік тому +3

      It is awesome and I never even thought of it.

    • @bluekron
      @bluekron Рік тому +1

      Super answer I'll have to use...

    • @DanAnear
      @DanAnear Рік тому

      @@reezlaw same!

  • @hotpajama8949
    @hotpajama8949 Рік тому +17

    "It's not loving to foster fragility" 💯

  • @davidleon9206
    @davidleon9206 Рік тому +65

    Great talk. So clear and concise. In 1988 ,35 years ago I was hit over the head with a heavy glass ashtray in a bar by a transvestite. The trans introduced itself to me with a female name and I said "Hi Michael" in defiance because instinctively It felt wrong to go along with the charade and I was not approaching the trans and felt forced to comply to some weird mind control spell, and I was only interested in real women there. I was rude for sure (and drinking), but honesty is still better than make-believe forced interactions. I'm not stopping people being trans. I just choose not to associate with them- now more than ever...... I still can't stand being forced to do the pronoun thing for the exact 3 reasons you mentioned, being the validator, being submissive to the narcissist, and not wanting to hurt feelings which just reinforces fragility.

    • @robindew9072
      @robindew9072 Рік тому +4

      Be truthful only. No buying into the lies and delusions. Just honesty.

    • @NatalleeK
      @NatalleeK Рік тому

      Wow. You really were just rude to a person and was okay with it because your ego is so massive that you think you have authority over other people's choices!

  • @fairedepeche
    @fairedepeche Рік тому +32

    I am going to do an interview tomorrow. I received their invitation identifying their pronouns and a request for mine. My old generation never had to face this. There is now additional anxiety, exhaustion and underlying anger for me during an interview because you have to choose between getting a job or playing a game with youth who have no wisdom, no values and no respect for others. A job interview should be just that. A job.

    • @sacha8uk
      @sacha8uk Рік тому +4

      Additional anxiety for the other person, that's a good way to put it: because these people won't face their inner fragility, they transfer it all to you and put the onus on you; if you don't validate them, you're a horrible person, etc.

  • @kevinrobinson5654
    @kevinrobinson5654 Рік тому +525

    For over a year I have simply been saying "I use sex based pronouns, not gender based pronouns" and I have had zero push back. I'm also self employed, don't use social media, and am basically immune to any type of blowback - so take my experience with a grain of salt.

    • @zane62135
      @zane62135 Рік тому +39

      That's the best way to address this. "The pronouns I use refer to one's sex, not their gender identity"

    • @bustercrabbe8447
      @bustercrabbe8447 Рік тому +20

      Sex and gender are synonyms.

    • @kevinrobinson5654
      @kevinrobinson5654 Рік тому +1

      @@bustercrabbe8447 That's where the trick happens, Crabbe. They were synonyms. But the cult redefined gender to mean something other than sex, then retconned it backwards. The retconning is the scam. Articulating the scam defeats it. "When I was growing up, when we said 'gender' we all just meant 'sex'. It's fine to redefine gender, but you can't retroactively apply the new definition and demand that I adopt it. We were always segregating bathrooms, sports, and prisons on the basis of sex - we just called it gender. I was always saying 'she and him, sir and ma'am' on the basis of sex, even though we called it gender. Now that these words have separate meanings, let me be very clear. I don't care about gender. I respect your right to express your gender however you'd like, but it doesn't concern me. I think sex is primary over gender, and I only discriminate on the basis of sex - not gender. So please, let me reassure you, that I couldn't possibly misgender you or anyone else - because I don't care about gender, and I only reference sex when I speak". Fighting them over the definition doesn't seem helpful, but pointing out the 'trick' and firmly insisting that you won't go along has been stopping these people dead in their tracks in my experience - and the First Amendment is firmly on our side.

    • @loricircuit6903
      @loricircuit6903 Рік тому +49

      @@bustercrabbe8447 Typically they were synonyms. By definition they were the same thing - gender referring to 'which' sex. Gender was the more precise term for which of the 2 sexes, since sex is a word that can have other meanings or applications. Also, gender has always also been used as a descriptor for those two sexes in reference to differences or characteristics. But today the word 'gender' has been twisted to mean a series of other things.
      The propaganda it's being used to support uses it for several tasks. One new 'rule' is that it's supposed to be a term strictly for the stereotypes of the sex-binary (male & female). At the same time, it's also being used for a term to cover the idea of multiple sexes or biologies - which makes it a meaningless term, since there are no more than two sexes, not a multitude.
      The gender-inventers wish to say that diverse characteristics and personalities are 'genders'. They don't quite like biology and so they deny it's reality to create brave new definitions to more easily inhabit their fantasies and delusions.
      They've forgotten that while humans are always one of two sexes, the correct terms to describe variations in that binary are called 'sexual orientations or sexual identities'. Very importantly, this is called 'sexual-expression'. Sexuality. Not gender.
      People can express their 'sexuality' in a variety of ways, but the gender/sex remains the same because that's biology. The gender-inventers have not read that page however and are clueless that others before them have already discovered that there are apparently diverse ways to demonstrate or express sexuality. And whatever those expressions are - it does not invent dozens of sexes. Not even one.

    • @finndicaprio153
      @finndicaprio153 Рік тому +4

      ​@Buster Crabbe no, they are not.

  • @HarringJess
    @HarringJess Рік тому +6

    First off, great video! I had this saved in my list and grateful to have watched it. 10:59, I was asked for my pronouns for the very first time about a few weeks ago. I told the woman, "I don't have pronouns." She struggled to have a conversation until in the end I said, "Whatever anyone observes me as." I'm a woman, therefore 99.99% of people refer to me as what they see me as. I don't need to justify what I was born as. Due to her brainwashed upbringing, it triggered her. It almost made it where she didn't know how to have a conversation. I then told her to just let trans people give you their pronouns if they choose, but as a woman I shouldn't be compelled from another biological woman asking me what my pronouns are.

  • @llIlIlllII
    @llIlIlllII Рік тому +546

    No one ever addresses why a person with gender confusion's right to coerce speech from other people trumps my right to live in reality. I find it traumatic to be forced into saying things I know are not true. This is significant stress. So why is it not considered cruel and and unfair to FORCE me to go along with the pronoun game?
    Most people will instantly justify this by talking talking about the self death rate of trans people, but how the hell do they know I'm not self-death fixated myself? It's so hypocritical it makes me sick.

    • @snackentity5709
      @snackentity5709 Рік тому +30

      You know the answer to your own questions. They see the world through a narrow ideological lens of oppressed and oppressor classes. That's all there is. Your individual self with your individual suffering is not part of their reality. If in any given context you are considered the oppressor class (by virtue of your skin color, gender/sex, sexual orientation, etc.), you have no say in the matter. All judgement of the situation is given to the oppressed class. And actually that's not true. Because if the oppressed class does not go along with this ideological framing of the situation, an "ally" (aka ideologue) will step in to enforce the situation through that lens. There is literally nothing bad enough that can happen to you through this context that they will not ad/post hoc justify. I've been watch the arguments/discussions devolve in this manner for the past 10 years. And this isn't just about pronouns. There is no truth-claim ridiculous enough nor anti-social behavior demonish enough they won't justify.

    • @embryson7766
      @embryson7766 Рік тому +8

      Nobody's forcing you to do anything. If you don't like it, remove yourself from the situation and go in spaces that are not accepting. If you think someone's name is Madison and you keep calling them Millie and you are politely told that their name is indeed Madison, all you are doing is being rude.

    • @megaloschemos9113
      @megaloschemos9113 Рік тому +38

      ​@@embryson7766 Do people have nervous breakdowns and feel suicidal when called the wrong name?

    • @susanhopemason
      @susanhopemason Рік тому +38

      Their "right" to coerce speech, DOESN'T EXIST. They have no such right.

    • @LadyVioIa
      @LadyVioIa Рік тому +73

      @@embryson7766 Calling someone Millie when their name is Madison isn’t what’s happening here. We don’t “think” that males are “he/him” and that females are “she/her”. It is grammatically and biologically incorrect to refer to a male as “she” and “her”. We are being told to deny reality and then told we are being disrespectful and rude if we don’t. It is the pinnacle of insanity. What’s more, if any of these people actually passed as the opposite sex, they wouldn’t have to demand this pronoun or that. People automatically say she/her/miss/ma’am when they think the person they’re referring to is female.

  • @jamie_d___
    @jamie_d___ Рік тому +419

    When I see people like yourself who share reality so articulately , it's like chicken soup for the soul , for me

    • @jayadams9794
      @jayadams9794 Рік тому +7

      Common sense is so rare.....the truth is rare.......people who dont follow is rare these days

    • @rb26010
      @rb26010 Рік тому +9

      HER articulation was spot on! Couldn't agree more. I am astounded by how reality is being gaslit for these confused individuals 😢😢

    • @eryn3003
      @eryn3003 Рік тому +1

      In this day and age, yes

    • @azarahwagner2749
      @azarahwagner2749 Рік тому

      DELUSIONAL much 😂

    • @azarahwagner2749
      @azarahwagner2749 Рік тому

      Articulate 😂😂😂😂

  • @katierose1893
    @katierose1893 Рік тому +47

    A good friend is pregnant and started saying "they are kicking" and I said "congrats on TWINS!" and she replied "oh no they are singular, I just want to be politically correct". I had no idea what she was talking about and told her she was making absolutely no sense. Where does this insanity end? I refuse to participate in this game and yes it's narcissistic to gaslight others and tell them they're being crude for not changing their own vocabulary.

    • @StrategicGamesEtc
      @StrategicGamesEtc Рік тому

      Does she know whether they're a boy or girl? I would use they if I didn't know, but "he" is also a good option

    • @katierose1893
      @katierose1893 Рік тому +13

      @@StrategicGamesEtc I will never use "they". I will use "he/she" OR "it". Period.

    • @StrategicGamesEtc
      @StrategicGamesEtc Рік тому

      @@katierose1893 yeah, I try to avoid it for people I know the correct gender of.

    • @katie7748
      @katie7748 Рік тому +3

      ​@@StrategicGamesEtc"it" or "the baby" works much better in that situation

    • @omp199
      @omp199 Рік тому +6

      Singular "they" has been part of the English language for centuries and is not derived from the gender identity nonsense. It is very useful to have a pronoun that enables reference to someone whose sex you don't know.
      A: "Someone came to the door."
      B: "What did they want?"
      It's much easier to speak like that than to say cumbersome and alien-sounding things like, "What did he or she want?" or, "What did the person want?"

  • @virtualalias
    @virtualalias Рік тому +8

    Speaking of fragility, they go straight for "Do this or I'll kill myself," - that's the animating coercion. If you're in a relationship, threatening suicide is an obvious red flag of mental instability.

  • @misssparkle8317
    @misssparkle8317 Рік тому +61

    Firstly, i appreciate that you recognised the narcissism aspect which doesn’t get spoken about enough.
    Secondly, i get that some people want to be sensitive and tip-toe around these types, but really that just contributes to enabling. I say don’t play, let them explode and reveal themselves to be the unhinged personalities they are so we can ship them off to places for psychological help.

    • @andrewcheadle948
      @andrewcheadle948 Рік тому +1

      Wouldn't that be half the planet going off for psychological help, these days? 🤪

  • @p.s8950
    @p.s8950 Рік тому +91

    Thank you for this very sensible and un-hysterical take on pronouns. This is the type of common sense straight talk that nobody should feel the need to apologize for. Thanks

  • @maxxwellbeing9449
    @maxxwellbeing9449 Рік тому +524

    I usually stop talking and avoid these people as much as possible. When they ask me for my pronouns, I pretend I don’t understand, then I let them explain it to me. “What are you talking about?” Then I make sure to ridicule them for what ever answer they give me and mock them for bringing up such an absolutely, foolish piece of nonsense. I say things like, “What’s wrong with you? Where did you come up with such useless idea?”
    I’m in my 50’s so most of the time they just think that I’m just unaware and I get away with it. But there are some that get insulted and literally start calling me names. But I don’t care. I just laugh because I like me just fine.
    You’re thinking to much. If others start to push at requesting pronouns, and I’m pushed to answer, I simply say “No.”
    “But we need your pronouns.” I say, unapologetically, “I said No, are you deaf? Mind your own business.” I usually say “Get away from me.” and I might even add the word…”nutjob.” It all depends on my mood. I have zero patience for this nonsense, I have no filter and I could care less about their feelings or their opinion of me. I find the question insulting, so I treat them like they’ve insulted me. That’s the way it should be.
    A few years ago, I had to attend a meeting for our downtown association. There were approximately 20 people there, and the President of the board, introduced herself and added, “…and my pronouns are “she, her” WTF?
    She went around the room, asking people to introduce themselves and the rest followed suit. But you could tell that they just did it not to cause trouble . At about the 5th person, they didn’t automatically give her their pronouns, so she said, “And your pronouns are….?” ……so the man questioningly responded with, “He, him?” After that, each person would just say, she, her or he, him.
    I was about the third to the last to introduce myself, I gave my name and the name of my business. And of course she said, “….and…what are your pronouns?”
    “My pronouns? What’s with this pronoun thing anyway? What’s wrong with you people? Do any of you know why you’re even giving her these pronouns?” Silence.
    The President said, “Just give us your pronouns so we can move on.”
    Lady, if you can’t figure our whether these people are men or women you need new glasses.”
    She had made everyone feel uncomfortable and obligated to comply, so when I said that, everyone laughed. It got rid of that awkward tension in the room.
    She got all pissy, and asked me again, with authority this time for my pronouns. I told to her to mind her own damn business, and to do her job and stop with this foolish pronoun nonsense. Uncomfortable silence again.
    The woman was literally a crazy person, and told me that if I was not willing to participate, that I could leave. I told her, again, to mind her own business, and do her damn job, I’m not giving you these foolish pronouns and I’m not going anywhere, get on with the meeting.
    It was really quiet then. Everyone was really uncomfortable.
    You’re right, people like her are self righteous and entitled. They think that you must comply or you’re the enemy.
    Next she tells me, Either you participate or leave, the meeting will not go forward unless you give us your pronouns or leave!! It’s one or the other!!
    I said, “You’re going to be waiting an awfully long time because I’m not giving you any foolish pronouns, and I plan on being the last one to leave.Do your job and get on with the meeting.”
    All the while, everyone was sitting in silence. She realized that I wasn’t going anywhere, so ask everyone, “Who thinks that he should leave? Two hags in the front row raised their hands. The rest, silent. But no one else raided their hands.
    Sorry, I’m bored and rambling, the meeting carried forward, we accomplished what we came for and left.
    As I was leaving she said, “You won’t be attending any further meetings, I’ll see to that.”
    My response, “Go feck yourself.” And I left.
    The next day, I started getting calls from the other business owners, apologizing for not saying anything the night before. I’ve been there for 20 years, so I was far more respected that she was. She had only been there 2 years. They also told me that she had been calling people wanting them to vote that I could no longer attend these meetings. What actually happened was, my fellow business owner called around, none of them were impressed with what had happened she made them all feel uncomfortable, so they went to the mayor and told him that they wanted to remove “her” (funny how things work) He said that it required a vote to have her removed, and a new president had to be voted in.
    Guess who they voted in as president? Me.
    The point of my rambling is that people may not be as alone as they think. You can test the waters first, try to figure out who believes what, and if you’re in the majority, systematically find a way to get rid of these toxic people. If you’re out numbered, play along if you have to until you find another job.
    I’m not in a position that I can be fired, I’m self employed and I do what I want to. Others might have to make concessions if they’re an employee, because these people are hateful, you really have to watch yourself around them. Find another job opportunity, then quit by telling them to shove their pronouns up their asses. If you’re an employee, do not hire these people, they are far more trouble than they’re worth. Trust me, being nice or “inclusive” is a waste of time, don’t hire them and get rid of these people if you have any, they will make your work environment extremely toxic.
    Well, I think I’ve said enough. I tend to ramble when I’m bored.
    Be well.

    • @kg2096
      @kg2096 Рік тому +32

      👏👏👏

    • @mjt1517
      @mjt1517 Рік тому +11

      wtf

    • @aguyinhisroom
      @aguyinhisroom Рік тому +61

      i can't believe you were asked directly repeatedly for pronouns. I would even say you were harassed about your personal beliefs publically, if it was any other private subject this is how it would be seen. I am wondering if this was a very progressive type of area, or what? What a mistake to hire that woman

    • @intersexional
      @intersexional Рік тому +8

      I'm so glad I don't kknow you or have to interact with you.

    • @maxxwellbeing9449
      @maxxwellbeing9449 Рік тому +30

      @@intersexional Me too.

  • @kimberleeoneal
    @kimberleeoneal Рік тому +93

    Thank you for this ❤️ I couldn't have put it better.
    I've been explaining that our pronouns don't belong to us. When a person sees a tree, they call it a tree. When a person sees a house, they call it a house. And when a person sees what they perceive to be a man or a woman, they will call them as they see them. How someone else perceives you is none of your business. It's up to you to present yourself the way you wish to be perceived.

    • @nso5625
      @nso5625 Рік тому +9

      You couldn’t have put that better. We’re all becoming so self-centred these days that I think the concept of pronouns has been warped

    • @carolthedabbler2105
      @carolthedabbler2105 Рік тому +11

      I agree with @kimberleeoneal. If a person presents as female (regardless of their biological sex), I refer to that person as "she" because it's silly to refer to someone who looks like a woman as "he," and analogously for anyone who presents as male. I refer to anyone whose gender I do not know (for whatever reason) as "they." And that exhausts my repertoire.

    • @Mel-wn9gb
      @Mel-wn9gb Рік тому

      @@carolthedabbler2105 How ridiculous to look at a man in a dress and think 'that's a woman because he's wearing a dress'. 🙄 Nobody 'presents female'. You either are female or you aren't. And you'll remain female or male regardless of how each individual you come across personally perceives you.

    • @SirChristopher365
      @SirChristopher365 Рік тому +2

      "Pronouns don't belong to us."
      PREACH.

    • @hinteregions
      @hinteregions Рік тому

      I disagree in that I think you put it rather well. I do like that second last sentence. I see a t-shirt saying HOW I PERCEIVE YOU IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. It made me have a thought, 'onus/burden of perception.'

  • @Christian.jsf1
    @Christian.jsf1 Рік тому +191

    Oh my. So well put. It always felt narcissistic to me as well. I always thought bratty.. forcing someone to do something they don't think they should by shaming them, its just so manipulative and something a child would do. Thank you for putting so well and clarifying all the different aspects of how this affects society/children

    • @KenJackson_US
      @KenJackson_US Рік тому +8

      It strikes me as bad English.

    • @ericrawson2909
      @ericrawson2909 Рік тому +9

      I agree, it's manipulative and childish. I hadn't realised that, but you are right, it's coercing others to go against their natural thoughts. I also absolutely hate the logical error regarding singular and plural.

    • @pepelefrog1121
      @pepelefrog1121 Рік тому +2

      ​@@KenJackson_US the liberal socialists that creates this mess in the last decade, but he is more worried about grammar. Zero effort mediocrity.

    • @kiera6326
      @kiera6326 Рік тому

      I mean, I would argue that refusing to call someone by their preferred pronouns for no reason than just to be an asshole is brattier. Whether you “agree” with it or not has no effect on your ability to give basic respect

    • @kiera6326
      @kiera6326 Рік тому

      @@ericrawson2909Wait, what error? “They” is used in both singular and plural terms, right?

  • @Bloom5056
    @Bloom5056 Рік тому +116

    I have had this talk with my 11 year old daughter. I said she doesn’t ever need to answer that question “what are your pronouns” nor does she ever need to pretend that men can become women or vice versa. We have these talks periodically because being in public school, even though our State is a red state, because of the culture wars I know she will come up against it at some point.

    • @nakedenby
      @nakedenby Рік тому

      ...and trans people are accused of indoctrination?

    • @BlackieNuff
      @BlackieNuff Рік тому +6

      There is a "Good Parenting" award for you somewhere. 🙂
      Preparing kids for the outside world and all its insanity and danger - no matter how uncomfortable or awkward it is - is paramount.

    • @bridgetdowning7819
      @bridgetdowning7819 Рік тому

      Done the same thing with my daughter. She attends public school in a red state as well.

    • @sassyghost_8
      @sassyghost_8 Рік тому +3

      That’s excellent. My cousin has two daughters and they’re both elementary school age. I worry so much for them because the schools have gotten so sneaky about it.

    • @nicolettepannier248
      @nicolettepannier248 Рік тому +1

      That's excellent. My mom always did the same with us. Talk to us about issues and the world so we are more prepared and informed about how to navigate it all. I've always been grateful that she did this with us. All parents need to do this with their children. Never stop open discussion with your kids.

  • @dilvishpa5776
    @dilvishpa5776 Рік тому +96

    I used to think as you regarding using other people’s preferred pronouns when addressing them. However, it always gave me an uneasy feeling. I realized that the unease came from being persuaded to lie. Transgender women are men disguised as women, no matter how convincing the disguise. The same holds true for transgender men in the same logic. I realized I was being forced to admire “The Emperor’s New Clothes”. I will not be shamed/forced into participating in someone else’s fantasy.

    • @snu3877
      @snu3877 Рік тому +7

      I love your response. And I often think that if the current time we find ourselves in needed a title, it would indeed be "The Emperor's New Clothes."

    • @eleegee
      @eleegee Рік тому +4

      “Transgender women are men in disguise”? Wow. Just… wow. I’m so glad I’m not on your level, dude.

    • @dilvishpa5776
      @dilvishpa5776 Рік тому

      @@eleegee I am sure you believe all this unscientific nonsense. It must be comforting to be so gullible.

    • @BlackRoses1666661
      @BlackRoses1666661 Рік тому +13

      @@eleegee and I’m glad he’s not on your level

    • @eleegee
      @eleegee Рік тому +1

      @@BlackRoses1666661 thanks 🥰

  • @aliwilkinson2485
    @aliwilkinson2485 Рік тому +10

    Yessss tick tick tick, my core argument against - it’s egotism at its core, lack of self confidence in who you are within your own gender category, and most importantly, it’s a dependency on external validation and teaching people they can change the world to suit them. Dangerous lessons

  • @heatherwillis5505
    @heatherwillis5505 Рік тому +232

    I lost a long-term partner, who is an adolescent/child psychiatrist, because I felt this way and she saw it as hateful and bigoted. I firmly believe that our position is the kind and compassionate one to hold.

    • @wjec1970
      @wjec1970 Рік тому +24

      You are on the right side of this argument, Heather. Your ex has been captured by this utter nonsense.

    • @angelina22ist
      @angelina22ist Рік тому +17

      You didn’t lose anything.

    • @Lewisevans1618
      @Lewisevans1618 Рік тому +10

      Sometimes we have to lose people to progress and f Flourish in our lives. I lost a few old college friends who considered me far right when I was simply being traditional and conservative and speaking out for common sense. No loss just more open doors to people I enjoy being with and more doors opening to live the life I believe in and feel instinctively connected with.

    • @iamJohngalt67
      @iamJohngalt67 Рік тому +8

      Your only identity is found in Christ.

    • @ohwellwhateverr
      @ohwellwhateverr Рік тому +11

      I lost a 10-year friendship over this. Was called every name under the sun and told that my bigotry disgusted him. College totally changed this person and warped his mind.

  • @sandychilese2893
    @sandychilese2893 Рік тому +30

    When asked for pronouns for name tags for our organization when we were attending a larger organization meeting(we don't support the use of alternate pronouns) I sent an email to the requester saying we use normal pronouns. We discussed declining to have pronouns on the name badges, but there wasn't unanimous consent on that with some who feared being ostracized. Interesting to note when we returned, three of the four who were fearful, came to me individually to admit that they wished they hadn't voted to participate. Even though the pronouns on their badges were "normal" they were embarrassed with one telling me she actually felt shame for allowing herself to be bullied. Do what you can. Build your confidence. Use tools like this video to provide appropriate and fact-based talking points. Baby steps. But if we all try, we will get there.

  • @comlbbeau
    @comlbbeau Рік тому +28

    Very well thought out and presented, reflecting what 99% of us feel but lack the ability to articulate so precisely.

  • @TATVCanada
    @TATVCanada 7 місяців тому +3

    Probably the most well thought, well articulated explanation of the issue I've ever seen.

  • @josephpk4878
    @josephpk4878 Рік тому +229

    I actually appreciate it when people include their pronouns in their introductions - it's helped me to avoid having further communication with the type of person that would introduce themselves with pronouns, rather than just their given name. Trust me, the technique is foolproof.

    • @usafvet100
      @usafvet100 Рік тому

      Fortunately the woke tend to be like toxic neon colored rain forest frogs, easy to spot in the wild and avoid. Neon hair, tackle box faces, hideous eyeglasses, indifferent grooming and hygiene, all dead giveaways.

    • @Acteaon
      @Acteaon Рік тому

      Filter them finicky fuckers out from the first face to face. Next!

    • @room2growrose623
      @room2growrose623 Рік тому +18

      I have heard employers are sing it as a way to eliminate applicants

    • @priuss6109
      @priuss6109 Рік тому +2

      "would introduce himself or herself""

    • @sonjadidyk-tn4cc
      @sonjadidyk-tn4cc Рік тому

      BOYCOTT....WHAT A LOVELY IDEA. THIS INSANITY MUST BE SHUT DOWN...SHOT DOWN.

  • @UshasRides
    @UshasRides Рік тому +514

    I refuse to offer pronouns - I am a biological female. I have no confusion over my gender or biological sex. I love the ”I have no special requests” answer - but I fear my facial expression when asked for pronouns will give my game away (hint: looks affronted, wide-eyed astonished, and probably laughs). Love this explanation… thank you for your clarity. Xxx

    • @TheCoolerDrilis
      @TheCoolerDrilis Рік тому +12

      Oh, yes, do try not to laugh, like this one kid who was banned from a card game tournament because he nervously laughed when someone suddenly asked _his_ pronouns out of nowhere.

    • @gerrardstyx1752
      @gerrardstyx1752 Рік тому +8

      Lol. Can be hard to hide facial expressions at times.

    • @KayCee_13
      @KayCee_13 Рік тому

      You’re nicer than I am. My facial expressions would give my game away by saying hint: you’re a f***ing idiot!

    • @scottydu81
      @scottydu81 Рік тому +25

      @@TheCoolerDrilis In 1984, those were called “facecrimes”

    • @Vulpas
      @Vulpas Рік тому +18

      Real men and women do not need to give pronouns, all of history we didn't need them.

  • @TravisHenson777
    @TravisHenson777 Рік тому +12

    Very well spoken and direct. I don’t traditionally identify as “conservative” or “liberal”, or “republican/democrat”, so it’s REALLY refreshing to hear someone articulate these ideas effortlessly without being rude or emotional. Expert level communication.

  • @trevorthetherapist4200
    @trevorthetherapist4200 Рік тому +142

    I was asked to share my pronouns at a "training" and I declined. I was ostracized and alienated and targeted at work afterwards, but I do not care. It was disturbing and felt like high school all over again with people trying to force some element of conformity onto me. That was my attitude 7 years ago and it is my attitude now.

    • @NatalleeK
      @NatalleeK Рік тому +8

      Really weird?? In most lefty-spaces declining to say your pronouns is usually a sign that you're in the closet so idk what kind of environment this is but it just seems negative regardless of pronouns

    • @cm55000
      @cm55000 Рік тому +14

      @@NatalleeK sounds like DEI training session.

    • @Anaximander9
      @Anaximander9 Рік тому

      You sound like someone with a brain and a spine.

    • @tapewerm6716
      @tapewerm6716 Рік тому +6

      It's exactly like a weird high school clique but one that has become very powerful and wants to call all the shots now. And if you don't comply you'll be shunned.

    • @trevorthetherapist4200
      @trevorthetherapist4200 Рік тому

      I am offended at the way the LGBTQ community (especially the trans community) is infantilized in society and the thought that they should be protected from being offended in any way in any public space especially in this country with the history of the civil rights movement where blacks were treated with brutality and a daily diet of the N word for wanting to be treated as human beings in the country in which we were born. By comparison, I feel that people who get to tell others what gender they are (even if the evidence is not there) and how they would like their rights to be respected or you will be cancelled are being treated pretty well by comparison to black Americans.

  • @nonosays
    @nonosays Рік тому +305

    I find myself twisting myself into a pretzel trying to avoid pronouns altogether now, calling trans or "non-binary " only by their names in all situations.

    • @Scriptorsilentum
      @Scriptorsilentum Рік тому +52

      I make a point in ANY situation of disregarding them altogether. I do not play along with this shit under any circumstances.
      I've been threatened with my job three times now and couldn't give a damn.

    • @katie7748
      @katie7748 Рік тому +27

      ​@@ScriptorsilentumYep. More people need to stand up against this instead of weakly straddling the fence.

    • @chrisvig123
      @chrisvig123 Рік тому +17

      Well it’s hard to tell what they are at this point 😮

    • @stephaniemanchester-chermo3840
      @stephaniemanchester-chermo3840 Рік тому +18

      Noncompliance and civil disobedience is the only way to approach this nonsense. 😂

    • @geewheeler04
      @geewheeler04 Рік тому +15

      I do also. I will say this person or that customer but will not say pronouns because I will not give them the win.

  • @nirmaleva
    @nirmaleva Рік тому +62

    I was asked my pronouns at the gynecologist! I just said no, I'm a woman. It was so irritating.

    • @mtc-j9i
      @mtc-j9i Рік тому +8

      😂😂😂😂😂 I wonder how many trans people would even bother to make an appointment with a gynecologist 🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯 what is this twilight zone we are living in?

    • @bonnytaylor7558
      @bonnytaylor7558 Рік тому +5

      WTF....😂😂😂😂😂😂 we live in sad times.

    • @chitownbob9714
      @chitownbob9714 Рік тому +8

      Was it the doctor or the administration office?
      If it was the doctor, I would say "you tell me!"

    • @mmason9836
      @mmason9836 Рік тому

      ​@@mtc-j9i believe it or not they do.

    • @iamanomas
      @iamanomas Рік тому

      ‘What is your name?’ should do it.

  • @davelafferty605
    @davelafferty605 Рік тому +14

    Well said, ma'am, and I thought your article was spot-on. Speaking for myself, I am totally indifferent to how someone else refers to him/herself. You do you, buttercup. Where I draw the line is when someone has the unmitigated gall to not only demand that I abandon basic English and objective reality to support his or her subjective feelings, but to accuse me of bigotry or a phobia if I don't. And to be clear, I don't hate those people -- hell, I don't hate anybody -- and I wish them all the best in defeating whatever inner demons they may be battling. But I emphatically disagree that providing validation for someone else's mental disorder falls among my responsibilities. The best they get out of me is to abandon pronouns entirely, and to only use proper nouns, even if it sounds repetitive and awkward. The extremist idealogues can only push me so far before I say, "Not just no, but HELL no."

  • @elizabethelias1005
    @elizabethelias1005 Рік тому +105

    You're also correct about confusing kids. This is the last thing kids need to add to their already difficult times.

    • @JimC
      @JimC Рік тому +18

      It's *intended* to confuse kids. That's why they introduce it in cartoons and tv.

    • @aedt3
      @aedt3 Рік тому +1

      They are trying to brainwash them😞 the next generation will be mental

    • @JeshuaSquirrel
      @JeshuaSquirrel Рік тому +3

      Children are a lot more resilient than a lot of adults give them credit for. Unless their parents are exceedingly strong in indoctrinating their bigotry into those kids, kids tend to roll with how a person describes themselves.

    • @Mel-wn9gb
      @Mel-wn9gb Рік тому +1

      @@JeshuaSquirrel Resilience has nothing to do with adults indoctrinating children and telling them untruths that effect their lives and rights.

    • @JeshuaSquirrel
      @JeshuaSquirrel Рік тому +5

      @@Mel-wn9gb What untruths? Kid A has two dads. Kid B wants to use a different name and wear different clothes for a bit, see how it feels. Kid C has a brother who despite hormones and a beard still wants to wear a chest binder.
      I was indoctrinated to be a man and straight, and neither of those now. The conversion therapy my parents unwittingly put me through didn't work, though I did think of harming myself a few times, almost tried once. Without hyperbole, something as simple as respecting a teen's chosen name and pronouns could be the difference between that kid reaching their 20s. And you would deny them that respect because why? It makes you feel put upon to call them something different than your assumptions?

  • @designforlife704
    @designforlife704 Рік тому +162

    Im currently at war with my sons school.
    Hes 13, a third party, non disclosed organisation came to his school, divided the boys and girls and forced them all to individually stand up and state their pronouns.
    My son had no clue what they were on about, he said they humilated him and he felt they were bullying everyone.

    • @4dogs4cats
      @4dogs4cats Рік тому +30

      It's a sign of good parenting that your son feels comfortable communicating his feelings. I wouldn't let something like that go unchallenged with the school. It clearly sounds ideological.

    • @windycityliz7711
      @windycityliz7711 Рік тому +37

      This whole practice - and especially to children - is a profound invasion of privacy!

    • @oORiseAboveOo
      @oORiseAboveOo Рік тому

      Get the parents together and don’t give in. Find out who brought in this organization and get their resignation. Soon, if not already, they’ll be tr@nsing your kids and teaching them critic@l r@ce theory.

    • @rachelb357
      @rachelb357 Рік тому +40

      My 14 year old replies “he/haw.” If my children are asked ridiculous questions I allow them to give ridiculous answers. I tell him if he ever receives blowback for it have them contact me.

    • @Arripa-777
      @Arripa-777 Рік тому

      @@windycityliz7711 ua-cam.com/video/Aviyl1eiC1s/v-deo.html

  • @Martin_Adams184
    @Martin_Adams184 Рік тому +24

    Congratulations, Leslie! This is a difficult issue; and I know exactly where I stand. Your suggestions about how to refuse to "play along" (a good term) are helpful in making a refusal that minimises the likelihood of conflict.

    • @doesntmatter3068
      @doesntmatter3068 Рік тому

      This is NOT a difficult, your MALE OR FEMALE < HE OR SHE>
      Sick individuals WANT you to think this is a difficult subject!
      I will NOT pretend with their sick charades!!

  • @ceciliacorson1804
    @ceciliacorson1804 Рік тому +7

    Thanks for the wonderful video. I can be brusque, candid and sometimes verbally confrontational/combative when defending what I believe to be true; your pointers in staying polite when refusing to give in to a neo caste system will definitely be helpful.

  • @Rawrshuga
    @Rawrshuga Рік тому +31

    4:00 OMG I think you’ve nailed it! I’ve long wondered why this pronoun game matters so much to them when the pronouns in question would mostly be used with others and not with the person themselves. I think your summation of it is perfect!

  • @Laroc1982
    @Laroc1982 Рік тому +338

    I wonder if they realize how offensive and hurtful it is, to be a biological female and have someone ask “what are your pronouns?”
    As a biological female my knee jerk response is: “I’m a girl.” My secondary reaction is, “you can’t tell?” That’s hurtful and creates distress in me; the fact that someone has to confirm my gender rather than simply knowing. It makes me wonder, “Do I look like a man? Am I masculine in some way?” I don’t believe I do or am, but having someone ask that question triggers those thoughts.
    Additionally, I could make the argument for harassment, because asking someone their pronouns is essentially asking them to identify their gen-itals. “Tell me right now what gen-itals you have under your clothes!” I will not; I absolutely refuse to. Nature gave you all the clues you need (voice, height, facial structure, bre-asts, hips, hands, feet) to tell you what I am. I will not self-identify to satisfy your delusion.

    • @timspence6771
      @timspence6771 Рік тому +21

      Excellent points

    • @dist321
      @dist321 Рік тому +20

      Wow! That's exactly how I feel!

    • @suryasingh9738
      @suryasingh9738 Рік тому +7

      Could be worse, you could've been forced to fill em out on your medical form.

    • @bygoneera1080
      @bygoneera1080 Рік тому

      No such thing as a 'biological female' because you are implying there are 'non-biological' females (hence why you need the qualifier)...which is the premise of the very same ideology you claim to be opposed to.
      Also consider this, your term 'biological woman' is awfully similar to THEIR term 'cis woman' - they've already got you to accept their speech as you scream that you are against compelled speech.

    • @Xplora213
      @Xplora213 Рік тому +20

      This articulates the feminine issue with pronouns quite well. It is a serious undermining of your self image and it is intentional.

  • @r.f.pennington746
    @r.f.pennington746 Рік тому +235

    Had two girls--survey/opinion takers on some issue or another--come to my door. One girl began by saying, "Hi, I'm ____, my pronouns are Spiff/Arena..." or whatever as she pointed to a rather large button she was wearing. I simply replied "I'm sorry, I don't participate in that type of conversation. What can I do for you?" She saw it was a lost cause and went on with her business. Honestly, at 67 (and toss in Toxic, White, and non-vagina possessing if you need to) I see this as a 1st-World problem brought about by folks having way too much disposable cash, shortened attention spans and most importantly, too much time on their hands. When folks don't have enough to do (think kids w/o chores and jobs), they will begin to draw into Me-Mode and begin inspecting their respective belly buttons for lint. In countries--and yes, I've been in them--where folks have to put in a full day, every day, to keep things going (not necessarily near-starvation hand to mouth), they don't sit around moaning about whether they need a vagina or not to be whatever they decide that day to be. Don't pander to this non-sense. May take some time, but remember what your mother or grandmother told you: ignore them, and they'll go away. Don't be mean, just don't pander.

    • @007kingifrit
      @007kingifrit Рік тому

      yea its really a sign of a generation that has no real problems and so they made something to fight, humans need something to fight

    • @pesty4592
      @pesty4592 Рік тому +7

      I can at least be fine with someone wanting to say their pronouns, but “spiff/arena?” That’s not even how pronouns work.

    • @grisslebear
      @grisslebear Рік тому +7

      I have too much fun being mean. It works for me.

    • @maxi-me
      @maxi-me Рік тому +7

      ​@@pesty4592 yeah, that one had me tending to my scalp follicles as well.
      Can my pronoun be _purple monkey bathwater_ 😅

    • @ernesthernia418
      @ernesthernia418 Рік тому +2

      This is spot on .

  • @Primitarian
    @Primitarian Рік тому +3

    "Whoever can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." --Voltaire

  • @zanedzikonski4234
    @zanedzikonski4234 Рік тому +40

    I’ve seen some one apologize for referring to a colleague In the 3rd person “she”. Another person who over heard came up and said “that” person prefers “they/them”. Never apologize. Such an awkward situation because the two of them had just spoke and had a healthy conversation/relationship. Never give your power away and apologize for something you could have never of known.

    • @Lewisevans1618
      @Lewisevans1618 Рік тому

      They them it thing should be told to grow up and stop attention seeking and trying to scramble some pathetic straw clutch of self importance. They usually have £&@# all else going on in their lives. These silly people are Pythonesque and don’t deserve an ounce of attention. Your a woman your a she your a man your a he. It’s very clear just how God created us.

    • @doctorwatson1000
      @doctorwatson1000 Рік тому +2

      just call them "it"

    • @Ψυχήμίασμα
      @Ψυχήμίασμα Рік тому +1

      If the voice sounds like a dude's, I use he, if the voice sounds like a chick's, I use she. Kind of like if a bird quacks, I use duck, and if a bird goes hoo, I use owl. Bathrooms are a bit more complex, but if you're at a urinal standing up next to me, Ima call you a he. Don't know how the ladies do it on their side.

    • @richatlarge462
      @richatlarge462 Рік тому

      The overhearer is a "Karen" for butting in. The actual person asking to be called by "they/them" is never present to hear the speech anyway. Only in writing would the person notice.

    • @themudpit621
      @themudpit621 Рік тому +1

      never HAVE known
      not 'never of known'
      Now, apologise for not listening in English class.

  • @starkeyshelbyj
    @starkeyshelbyj Рік тому +36

    Thank you so much for sticking your neck out there. I love the polite, “ i have no special requests,” tools, for coping. Imagine, ima lesbian and I’m blown away by these misguided Trans social ideologies & fascism.

  • @Airstreamyogigirl
    @Airstreamyogigirl Рік тому +20

    Oooooh. You are my new favorite person. I love your ability to so eloquently and gently explain the mental illness through identifying the lie of it all. The line drawn on encouraging narcissism is clear and you have illustrated it beautifully and lovingly. You remind me of Jordan Peterson and his take on this situation. Every bit of your words are spot on. Sensibility and cool glasses. Looking forward to experiencing all of your videos.

  • @jamesj9744
    @jamesj9744 Рік тому +3

    This channel is the best takedown of SJW culture on UA-cam. I'd argue these arguments are more logical and well-spoken than even Jordan Peterson's and certainly better than the conservative clickbaiters. This is very good and important work, Ms. Elliot. Keep it up.

  • @alank3174
    @alank3174 Рік тому +72

    Im so glad your talking about this, it needs to be mentioned more. The problem is there is no discussion allowed in the first place its always one way. You are right about it being narcissistic because its their way or the highway.

    • @007kingifrit
      @007kingifrit Рік тому

      the rainbow mafia reminds me of the nazi in the 1920s, with their little flags everywhere, tools to identify themselves from others, deeply authoritarian. they're dangerous

    • @llkapriziukell
      @llkapriziukell Рік тому +3

      I'm from Europe and never been asked my pronounce, but if anyone would, I would also say my name and ask what do you think what pronounce is? 😅 Just to make them the same unconfortable as I would be.

    • @selvamthiagarajan8152
      @selvamthiagarajan8152 Рік тому +3

      I am glad a young person such as yourself has not bought into this nonsense, like most people of your age bracket.

    • @selvamthiagarajan8152
      @selvamthiagarajan8152 Рік тому +3

      @@llkapriziukell but in the US if you did that you would be considered a rude person, I mean in liberal states and towns.

    • @clogs4956
      @clogs4956 Рік тому

      It’s a form of Marxist control. That’s it.

  • @VALLANCEGAMING
    @VALLANCEGAMING Рік тому +35

    The scary part is under this "Identity politics" they are not interested in you and your name, only that you comply

  • @ebrakefml
    @ebrakefml Рік тому +22

    I was asked at my last job to put my pronouns in my email and on my business card. I told them it was unnecessary because I do not have a pronoun preference. They took it better than expected, but I was quickly targeted by certain people and it eventually ended in my resignation in lieu of termination due to "causing disharmony in the work environment". No lie, that was an actual clause in our company handbook that I did not even know existed until I was pointed to it.

    • @omp199
      @omp199 Рік тому +12

      But the situation began with someone asking you to declare your preferred pronouns, so it was ultimately that person who caused the disharmony.

    • @peterschimmell3557
      @peterschimmell3557 Рік тому +5

      if i was asked to do that, i would just tell them "sure, i'll get right on that" and promptly forget about it.
      then, when they would invariably check up on it, i would just say something along the lines of "you must have gotten the old one"
      and of course, the whole time i would be looking for a new, non-toxic workplace 🙂

    • @bujharvard9313
      @bujharvard9313 Рік тому +3

      ​@@peterschimmell3557I'd say "male". If they didn't want to accept that, I'd just play dumb as if I had no idea what they were talking about.
      What are your pronouns?
      Male.
      No, I mean what pronouns do you want people to use?
      Robert, or just Rob.
      No, pronouns, such as he, she, they, etc.
      Oh... I'm male.

    • @ericgoodman4746
      @ericgoodman4746 Рік тому

      why would you resign. That was a perfect reason for you to turn into an a-hole to all the people giving you sh*t. Instead of you being miserable, you can make everyone else around you miserable and then collect the unemployment package that I'm sure they denied you of.

  • @earth2jennyl
    @earth2jennyl Рік тому +5

    Wow. I experience you as so brave and centered and loving to speak these truths. I have just gone silent when confronted with these issues, and your voice is giving me courage to even just think my own thoughts about it all. Thank you.

  • @nancybaumgartner6774
    @nancybaumgartner6774 Рік тому +9

    Solid self concepts do not require constant affirmation. When the external has to be endlessly mitigated and mutilated to comport with the internal perception, that is a clear indication that something has gone terribly wrong.
    This is a top-down effort , not at all organic or authentic.
    My response is typically , “No preference- have at it.”

    • @passerby6168
      @passerby6168 Рік тому

      I agree it's a top-down effort. One of the intentions being to make people compliant liars, like the "double-think" in the book 1984. That way they will comply with those who use force and nobody will be able to inspire them to resist this, because nobody will trust anyone, for they all know they are liars. The person able to speak and live truth is the greatest danger to totalitarians.

  • @carmentorres1426
    @carmentorres1426 Рік тому +21

    First day in summer school, I had to introduce myself with my name, gender, preferred pronoun, and favorite color. I'm just an assistant in a mental health collaborative program for 8th graders. I've never had to do this before.

    • @idid138
      @idid138 Рік тому +1

      Hang in there and HELP protect those kids.

    • @bryan81584
      @bryan81584 Рік тому +1

      That's insane. I would say, My name is Bryan....and I'm going to default to the way this has been done for hundreds of years and if you honestly cannot tell what I am by using your senses and refer to me as that, then either I have a serious problem or you do....Oh and Teal.

  • @silvertube52
    @silvertube52 Рік тому +22

    The idea that everyone needs to identify their gender is like expecting everyone to declare whether they are tall or short because some people feel sensitive about their height. Height or gender might be important for a few people, but for someone that has no issue with it to declare their "identity" in that domain would be a lie, to pretend it matters to them when it does not.

  • @michaeldbouck
    @michaeldbouck Рік тому +4

    100%. It's not my responsibility/obligation to remember one's preferred pronouns if they differ from what is visually obvious.

  • @ruthhorowitz7625
    @ruthhorowitz7625 Рік тому +34

    Well said!
    I have enough trouble remembering names, now they suddenly want me to remember everyone's pronouns 😢
    A young woman who identifies as non binary tried to explain to me how hurtful using the wrong pronouns was, when i complained about having to remember everyone's pronouns she said, then juse they them fir everyone, then you can't offend anyone.
    First of all, so many people would be offended by they them. Second, it's grammatically incorrect. Third, I struggle with change, so stop changing the rules on me all the time.
    Call yourself whatever you want, just don't demand the world go along with your delusions. I am not responsible for your happiness.

    • @katie7748
      @katie7748 Рік тому +4

      🎯

    • @davidhill4141
      @davidhill4141 Рік тому

      That’s the problem with selfish narcissists . Everyone else has to bend to your ideals: we have to be responsible to turn the world the way you want it! Get real!! And the government going along with this crap and enforcing equity is. On a path to destruction of our society on a path to MARXISM!!

  • @SithCelia
    @SithCelia Рік тому +52

    I've been getting misgendered since I was 7, most often by men. I was recently asked for my pronouns in a telephone interview in which the individual doing the interviewing identified as "neurospicy." I was so taken aback by the question that I said something about pronouns for a "standard woman," she/her. I've known for 48 years that I was a female and now suddenly I'm expected to be as confused about my pronouns as everyone else seems to be. I don't accept the label of "cis" anymore than I feel I need to clue someone in about my pronouns when it should be pretty obvious that I am not a dude.

    • @nickfry7839
      @nickfry7839 Рік тому +16

      i hate being called cis. it sounds like they are calling me a cyst. it sounds like a slur. they want to make up all the names they want to be called by, then they try to give regular people this name.

    • @loudenlaffnite246
      @loudenlaffnite246 Рік тому +4

      ​@@nickfry7839 "it sounds like a slur" -- because it often *is* a slur, or at least dripping with disdain: it's meant to denigrate/marginalize/otherize in the same way a kinky person calls someone "vanilla" or an incel calls someone a "Chad."

    • @ghiggs8389
      @ghiggs8389 Рік тому +3

      Anyone who 'identifies' as 'neurospicy' should not be in a position to give interviews.

    • @davidturoff8017
      @davidturoff8017 Рік тому +3

      @@ghiggs8389 anyone who can communicate can conduct an interview., their is no special position. They must however gain the cooperation of someone who is willing to participate. I might counter questions from a neuro spicy person by asking something like “ what does that mean?” And “are you delusional?” Or “which mental institution considers you missing?”

    • @mike2510
      @mike2510 Рік тому

      Cis means I identify as a man. I don’t use the term because I am a man, I don’t identify as one. You may also state that you don’t use the term cis, you use “actual woman or authentic woman”. Or you can reverse the definitions of cis and trans. Hey, anything is acceptable with wordplay.

  • @julia_biss
    @julia_biss Рік тому +425

    I’m a trans guy. I’d prefer if people call me ‘he’ for obvious reasons, but peoples’ perception of me is entirely out of my control. If someone calls me ‘she’ without thinking, yeah it sucks, but I’m not gonna be like “um, actually,” and throw a fit about it. More people need to realize that pronouns are originally a subconscious response based on how your mind perceives someone’s gender

    • @Justmonika6969
      @Justmonika6969 Рік тому +41

      That's a really level headed take on it. You accept that you can't control other people so you let them be themselves and try not to let them bother you. I have a similar view.

    • @julia_biss
      @julia_biss Рік тому +44

      @@Justmonika6969 Don't get me wrong, it does bother me because of my gender dysphoria, but I can't get upset with the person you know? I feel like that's a selfish way to be about it

    • @virginiaoflaherty2983
      @virginiaoflaherty2983 Рік тому +9

      Hi Carson. I'm old now and don't socialize much as it is too exhausting but I have a question. I used to have many gay, lesbian, even one childhood friend who was a hermaphrodite, the first person I knew to be surgically changed to be a woman. But NOW I am confused. You said you are a trans guy and want to be called he. OK. So you look like a male, dress like a male, and want to be referred to as he. OK This may seem disingenuous and I hope not insulting but does trans guy mean you were a male and are now a female, or were a female and are now a male. I'm simple I just go by mannerisms, dress, attitude, etc. Sometimes it is hard to tell especially if the person is tall big and rugged features but hair makeup jewelry etc reflects female. So I would say Yes Ma'am to that person. I did say that one time and got the impression I had embarrassed the person.

    • @DanielleStarry
      @DanielleStarry Рік тому

      @@virginiaoflaherty2983trans guy means he is a biological female living and functioning in society as a man

    • @THXx1138
      @THXx1138 Рік тому +60

      @@virginiaoflaherty2983 A person can not transfer from one sex to the other.

  • @QuinnMallory-od1hw
    @QuinnMallory-od1hw 7 місяців тому +2

    Insane it's come to this, last week I had my first encounter with an individual which was clearly Not trans and a narcissist that stated their pronouns, suddenly the next 3 people did the same, got to me, I just said my name and waited for the next person to continue, they didn't. Awkward silence followed. I was asking myself how was I suppose to handle this, what else can you say to make it obvious you were done, please continue. Thanks for the advice.

  • @SilhouetteSE
    @SilhouetteSE Рік тому +79

    Insisting on a certain pronoun can also throw the other person completely off kilter during a conversation. I constantly feel watched and scrutinized when talking to people these days, out of fear of slipping and getting corrected. And they do it with such an air of superiority, too, and act all offended. Every time it happens, I lose my train of thought and just want to end the conversation and walk away.

    • @PhilLeith
      @PhilLeith Рік тому

      Feeling constantly watched and scrutinized and uneasy with your own natural language and culture is exactly the point. That's what they want. And when I say "they", I mean the people really pushing this, not the confused people they are using for cannon fodder. Those people adopt the narcissism as a salve against their own feelings of inadequacy, and are essentially useful idiots for the real "cause".
      The goal is to get us to reject our own culture and values so that they can be replaced with the Cultural Marxist's values.

    • @indridcold8433
      @indridcold8433 Рік тому +4

      Just walk away. Go ahead and end the conversation. The people trying to ridicule you because you do not indulge their psychosis do not deserve your acknowledgement nor your conversation. Those less than 1% people do not respect others by ridiculing those that get their pronoun wrong. Then the next day, they may change it anyway. Nobody indulges my psychosis. I refuse to indulge anybody else's psychosis. Who chooses which psychosis to indulge and which psychosis to try to treat? How is this even being accepted right now? Has society degraded this much?

    • @bgbgbg123
      @bgbgbg123 Рік тому +1

      ​@ichaelis think of it this way. You might not expect a stranger to pronounce your name correctly- when they do its great. But if your coworkers or colleagues who do know how to pronounce your name deliberately mispronounce it, that's abusive. It's even more abusive if when asked about it they say "I think your name is actually pronounced the way I said it." That's the equivalent of deliberately misgendering someone.

    • @jenniferhorstmann2279
      @jenniferhorstmann2279 Рік тому

      They WANT you to “misgender” them , they are HOPING you will so they can make a scene about it and play “the victim”. It’s all about getting attention and having power over you.

    • @andres.e.
      @andres.e. Рік тому

      ​​@@bgbgbg123 A name is something real, not a made up thing like pronouns.
      There's no "misgendering" really, it's only not participating in your mental disorder (so you don't fall deeper in it).

  • @laurasalo6160
    @laurasalo6160 Рік тому +20

    “You can resolve to live your life with integrity.
    Let your credo be this: Let the lie come into the world, let it even triumph. But not through me.”
    - Solzhenitsyn

  • @possiblepilotdeviation5791
    @possiblepilotdeviation5791 Рік тому +282

    Pronouns are words that other people use to describe you. To dictate pronouns is to dictate another person's speech.

    • @lonniewild9277
      @lonniewild9277 Рік тому +5

      heck of a point you got there -
      like you are arguing against arguing -
      do you agree with the nice 'lady' that 'playing this game' with 'these people' is perpetuating a 'lie'?
      or maybe you might be dictating their speech?

    • @Nickle314
      @Nickle314 Рік тому +9

      Exactly. And those dictating would be the first to complain if that was used against them.

    • @dianalusso8123
      @dianalusso8123 Рік тому +3

      Agree! 👏

    • @MartyGarrison
      @MartyGarrison Рік тому +6

      Yes, it’s “compelled speech”. Not good.

    • @nakedenby
      @nakedenby Рік тому +9

      The pronouns you use everyday are dictated by the language you speak and by the society you live in. They are not fixed and vary in time and context. If you're eg a man and you use he/him pronouns then you're already being 'dictated' to. Absolutely no one mandates you speak or write specific words. However, intentionally and persistently using words to hurt others or make transphobic points would rightly get you into trouble because it's unacceptable bigotry.

  • @richardenglish2195
    @richardenglish2195 Рік тому +6

    Thanks for this. I work in an art gallery, which, as you can probably imagine, is fast becoming an ideological hotbed, and I've been dreading having to play the pronoun game. Now I have some polite alternatives in order to opt out when the situation arises. Great video, thanks again for sharing.

  • @dojomediaboss
    @dojomediaboss Рік тому +38

    Excellent video. As a therapist myself, you articulated my thoughts on the topic. I’m hoping we can more freely have these difficult conversations with our clients, but I fear more therapists are putting ideology and activism over sound clinical practice.

    • @kiera6326
      @kiera6326 Рік тому

      Well, you generally cannot practice in any healthy manner without respecting your clients…

    • @sethkeown5965
      @sethkeown5965 Рік тому

      ​@@kiera6326 there a difference between respecting a person and indulging them.
      Any rational, objective person can acknoldge the truth infront of their eyes. A trans man is a woman trying to pass as a man. A trans woman is a man tryingnto pass as a woman. To say anything else is ingulgent and is a willful disregard of inteligence and reason.

    • @counselorguy5481
      @counselorguy5481 Рік тому

      Most rate high in Borderline and Cluster B traits. Anyone with any clinical acumen knows what's going on.

    • @Kombo-Chapfika
      @Kombo-Chapfika Рік тому

      @@kiera6326 yet more euphemisms. Affirming a delusion is not respect. And respect should be mutual, not one person coercing another then crying when they don't get their way.

    • @kiera6326
      @kiera6326 Рік тому

      @@Kombo-Chapfika But the respect is mutual. You will be called the pronouns you wished to be called based on how you identify. Refusing to do the same for another based on your own very subjective understanding of gender, or even just general malice, is disrespect. You cannot say identifying with certain pronouns is delusional unless you accept that you are also delusional by doing the same thing

  • @pavelzee69
    @pavelzee69 Рік тому +70

    I’ve felt from the beginning that something isn’t right with this aggressive insistence to play along with the pronoun game. You’ve crystallized the reasons perfectly in a calm intelligent rational way. Thank you very much.

    • @RealYRM
      @RealYRM Рік тому

      When China was becoming Communist, they used to surround opposition in these things called "struggle sessions" where they were trying to get people to agree to things that they didn't believe, or weren't true... even just to the point of scaring them into shutting up, then, they'd get a hold of the kids in the schools, and use them to rat on their own families, because the adults were no longer free to speak up, so the kids were fully indoctrinated against the adults into this horrible ideology that made life in China horrible for those who didn't die from the transition (which was millions and millions). If you read anything about that, from way back in history, it compares almost identically to what's happening now.

    • @moonlightfilms5279
      @moonlightfilms5279 Рік тому

      I wholeheartedly agree as well! A person should never be compelled to accept that a person has a soul, and a person should never be compelled to accept that another person can choose their own gender identity. I have no problem with people having beliefs in either area, I will be kind to either, but when people are forced to accept either belief that is purely tyrannical and is a societal step backwards towards authoritarianism, and has zero place in a modern liberal society.

  • @dougchacon2154
    @dougchacon2154 Рік тому +89

    What a nice and eloquent way to get your point across, be polite, but also not play their game ❤

    • @ticenits1926
      @ticenits1926 Рік тому +4

      It’s not a game and why do you care so much? Imagine someone transplanted your brain into the opposite gendered body, that’s how it feels to be trans. All they’re asking is to feel a little more comfortable in life. You probably say and ma’am all the time, this is just one more item to affix, and it’s not like you even have to do it very often.

    • @dougchacon2154
      @dougchacon2154 Рік тому +8

      @@ticenits1926 It’s not a good argument to start off with “Why do you care?” As a human being who can think critically, I care about various things as I experience life. We may disagree, but I would never personally insult you, I merely question your ideas… there is a difference in engaging in respectful debate and personal attacks. Now I fundamentally disagree on everything you mentioned and if somebody was overweight or anorexic I would try to help them as I have taken an oath to help people as part of my profession. That doesn’t invalidate their experience nor does it dehumanize them. It’s ok to seek help, it’s not ok when an individual is clearly confused at best and mentally unwell at worst to then receive an affirmation that they are in the wrong body. I would never tell anyone they have the wrong body as in this world and journey of life, everyone gets one single body. For some that means existence is nothing but pain, people are born with all sorts of congenital defects, I myself have needed surgical procedures because of a congenital (birth) anomaly that occurs in less than 2% of all males. That doesn’t mean I’m a victim nor does it mean I’m less worthy of others who don’t have these abnormalities. If you do your research on puberty blockers you will see that every single study that is coming out shows that none of the pre-pubescent children who take these chemically castrating pills can achieve sexual orgasm. To me that’s a harrowing side effect that is unspoken. We are clearly on different political sides, but are you ok with chemically castrating children? Because that is an objective end result in many cases and it’s something that is actively being pushed on todays Youth. Much love ❤️

    • @blossom357
      @blossom357 Рік тому +4

      @@ticenits1926 1. How do you know what it feels like to be the opposite sex if you have never been the opposite sex?
      2. Ma'am is used for those who clearly look like women. It's a weird comparison. You're asking me to call someone a pronoun that doesn't match what I'm seeing in front of my eyes.

    • @ticenits1926
      @ticenits1926 Рік тому

      @@dougchacon2154 being obese or anorexic has provable health consequences. Being trans does not. Nobody died of a heart attack in their 30's because they were trans. Nobody ended up in the hospital on an IV drip with feeding tube because they were trans.
      You arent helping anyone when you refuse to accept their sexuality. You are only helping yourself because you just plain ole dont like it. It literally costs you NOTHING to respect their pronouns, yet you choose not to.

    • @ticenits1926
      @ticenits1926 Рік тому +1

      @@blossom357 1. Because they said so.
      2. Who cares what you see in front of your eyes, it's just a damn pronoun jesus christ. I'm color blind and mistake green for grey. Am I going to argue with someone over the color of their t-shirt?

  • @amarug
    @amarug Рік тому +11

    I noticed the only thing I like is when during business emailing you find the pronouns in the signature. I find it cringe and I would never do it, but since there are often foreign names of some staff, where I don't know what kinda gender that name implies, I am happy to see it written so I can correctly address them.

  • @overthoughtandunderstated
    @overthoughtandunderstated Рік тому +6

    "It's not loving to foster fragility in someone you care about." Very well-said.
    That might be the biggest problem.. even the word 'love' has been hijacked, from being sacred virtue to a victim-perpetuating propaganda. It's deeply sick. That's where we are

  • @swiftmovers3827
    @swiftmovers3827 Рік тому +462

    I love it when people use their pronouns in their bios. It helps me weed out people I don't want on my team during the hiring process.

    • @maxi-me
      @maxi-me Рік тому +2

      Oh thank, you just reminded me of the potential pitfalls when EEOC decides play hardball with this matter...

    • @Luminousmorrow
      @Luminousmorrow Рік тому +39

      So y'all are really out here proud of your blatant hatred and discrimination huh 😳 insane that the candidate could be exceptionally qualified for the role but despite all the good they can offer, you obsess over their identity. So embarrassing...

    • @fishmurse
      @fishmurse Рік тому +77

      @Bryan Anthony Honestly they just don't want to deal with their crazy. Sane people don't want to deal with pandering to false realities, they want to run a workplace. There is no need to have to function in nontruths in parallel to daily operations. That headache overrides their qualifications and talents. They may be able to competently do a job, but it all becomes irrelevant with the massive distractions of forcing others to bend to the will of their false identity. It's an HR nightmare to have to constantly entertain insanity.

    • @gargoylekitty
      @gargoylekitty Рік тому +72

      @@Luminousmorrow If you are exceptionally qualified then why are you wasting space on a resume with something that has absolutely nothing to do with the job? It’s unprofessional and broadcasts your expectation that focus being on your “gender” is part of the package in hiring you. Which is wild after how hard we’ve fought for the idea that whether one is a man or women shouldn’t be considered in hiring.

    • @Mel-wn9gb
      @Mel-wn9gb Рік тому +46

      @@Luminousmorrow It's not us who are obsessing over their 'identity'. I'd say the employer is considering the implications for other employees by hiring somebody that self obsessed with an ideological agenda to push. People have gotten fired for this. Workplace legislation is placing a burden on employees to enforce compelled speech, train, or more accurately indoctrinate staff, etc.

  • @Sarah-gf9ed
    @Sarah-gf9ed Рік тому +9

    Thank you so much for this. You speak a lot of sense. I am a biological female and refuse to engage in this woke ideology. Like you said I also think its dangerous. Unfortunately they're asking us to do this on our emails in my workplace. I really don't agree with it. It should be our decision not theirs. Nobody should force this nonsense on anyone! Thank you again.

  • @DoolallyProductions
    @DoolallyProductions Рік тому +10

    I went back to college in 2016 at age 46 and in one class we had to introduce ourselves including our pronouns. I said mine are it and its. The teacher got pissed and told me to apologize. I refused and demanded an apology from him for not respecting my pronoun choice. I just dropped the class because it was an elective. This whole thing is stupid.

    • @AttilaM-p6x
      @AttilaM-p6x 3 місяці тому +1

      Can you use any pronouns? I would've said "Dr/Professor" :D

  • @BricksAndSparrows
    @BricksAndSparrows Рік тому +151

    Woah. I am so happy I discovered this channel. I would often refer to my self (half jokingly) as a member of the radical center. This kind of content, (sober, pleasant, not trying to be provocative, thoughtful, intelligent and honest) is sorta rare nowadays. I’m looking forward to watching more vids and seeing this channel keep going.

    • @reezlaw
      @reezlaw Рік тому +5

      I'm radical centre as well!

    • @madisonc8886
      @madisonc8886 Рік тому

      So you're against people being trans?

    • @BricksAndSparrows
      @BricksAndSparrows Рік тому +1

      @@madisonc8886 what makes you say that?

    • @urgadurga
      @urgadurga Рік тому +6

      @@madisonc8886 What a strawman. How in the world is this person alluding to hating trans people?

    • @selvamthiagarajan8152
      @selvamthiagarajan8152 Рік тому +3

      @@urgadurga That's the turn the conversation takes when you try to discuss this issue with Trans idealogists.

  • @beamanact
    @beamanact Рік тому +44

    There are two points here that you make superbly which I haven't heard articulated often and with which I very much align. The kindness of indulging pronoun preferences for those with mental and emotional challenges is just good person behavior. I wrote an essay on my Substack about this. I actually have no issue with addressing anyone they way they request to be addressed. It's when social/political pressure mandates my own pronouns that I have a real problem. That's enforced speech and it's unconstitutional.

    • @TrenchcoatJesus
      @TrenchcoatJesus Рік тому +2

      I think it's a tad more subtle and insidious than it appears at first glance.
      This attitude: "I actually have no issue with addressing anyone they way they request to be addressed." I think many people have this attitude. They either are or want to appear to be open-minded, accepting, and agreeable. If it's an issue that they have little or no personal stake in, they don't mind compromising to the more immediate prompt/demand/request put in front of them.
      I will also say that taken at its real face value, it's something we've done for a long time and it's not harmful in any way- that is, addressing someone by a different NAME than their given name. We do it all the time. "I'm William, but please, just call me Bill." That's a polite and reasonable request that truly does no harm. We've all likely encountered examples of this. That's no big deal.
      But the pronouns shift is not the same thing. They are not used to address someone personally, they are used in reference. As the video posits, they're used to tell a lie. Requesting pronouns is little different from requesting adjectives or adverbs. "Please, only call me beautiful when you talk about me to other people." "Please, I prefer you mention I'm punctual." Even if they aren't lies, essentially the attempt is to control someone's perception of you and create an atmosphere of delusion. You're trying to modify their own judgment of you. You don't get to decide how other people see you or talk about you.
      Lastly, it's not harmful to call someone a nickname. It IS harmful to use inaccurate pronouns to refer to them in front of children. Just as it'd be harmful to inaccurately describe someone to a child- they will believe you. You are an authority figure simply by virtue of being older/an adult. You inform and shape their understanding of the world and language itself by the way that you use it. Using it in ways that are clearly inaccurate will invariably lead to confusion. That confusion added atop puberty is a recipe for disaster.
      Showing a child struggling to reconcile their mental and emotional state with the growing pains and awkward experiences of puberty that they can just 'opt out' or feel 'special' does not help them develop. It does the exact opposite. It teaches them they don't need to go through this painful thing to become an 'adult' which is a lie. Seriously, do people not understand the crazy shenanigans kids pull for attention? Claiming they're another gender is such an incredibly low bar to set.

  • @emilinebelle7811
    @emilinebelle7811 Рік тому +22

    I love this. Thank you so much for being on the right side of history. Cult mentality is NEVER okay!

  • @drahcirnevarc9152
    @drahcirnevarc9152 Рік тому +5

    I am nearly 60 and financially independent, and therefore see it as my moral duty to be openly and explicitly contemptuous towards anyone asking my pronouns.