It's Either Me or the Church Pt. 1: Fontella Hicklin v Vincent Hicklin
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- Опубліковано 1 січ 2024
- Fontella says her husband’s dedication to his church is ruining their marriage of 13 years. As the pastor’s wife, she feels invisible and unimportant. She’s ready to sign divorce papers if things don’t change.
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My pastor lets everybody know Fridays he is unavailable. He has it on his answering machine and everything. That day is dedicated to his wife, uninterupted. Their children can't even bother them. LOL
What if he’s called by God to do his work on Friday?
Exactly!
@@steelwill78let it be God; not anyone else.
@@goodgirl170 If he’s truly called to pastor he has to do Gods work first.
@@steelwill78Called by whom?
He must really be done with her if he's telling the whole world about money she stole. That's low...especially for a pastor.
like as if that doesn't have REAL consequences.
Whether it’s for publicity or otherwise, they should not be on divorce court. Period. Period. If nothing else this stands as a warning to make sure you stay clear from their church.
😊 he should be done with her she comes off as very selfish and I would have been transparent about that credit card issue too so I can have my name cleared as the pastor... It's a smart thing to do...
@@bryanbeeman5256this for sure. I’d never go to this church.
But stealing from church is wrong but defo exposing it on TV not wise
When asked what attracted her to him she said he was handsome all the ladies wanted him……sometimes you gotta look deeper than that……..
I agree 💯
Members in church understand if you need to be there for your family. That's why there are other people at the church who can fill in.
Facts!
Yes It’s not the church, it’s him
i was thinking the same thing! Like where is the jr pastor isnt that what he started out as. Have a youth Sunday and have the youth minister one week out the month. There are options, he isn't exploring it all because he likes the fame. That's also not the message of God.
Exactly!! Where are the deacons associate ministers deaconesses etc.
Amen.. Amen
I’ve seen many pastors families get destroyed because the pastor put his ministry ahead of his wife and children
That’s because the church feeds his ego . Sad . Most men are like this .
🙃🙃🙃 there’s no reason to be going out and accepting gifts from a single woman in the church repeatedly that you dated like come ooooonnnnnn. Judge was right, my dad has always driven that home. The appearance of improper conduct can get you in a world of trouble.
Can the church say Amen.
Exactly, and being a pastor he should know that. The Bible says to avoid the appearance of evil.
How can you be an effective leader when you cant be an effective huaband?
That story about her using the church's money for her own pleasures shined a whole new light on her. And him putting that out on national television was so disloyal and petty and intended only to hurt her because she told a story he didn't like. Shady. People like this are the reason that i don't give any additional regard to people just because they are "men and women of god". Please 🤨.
well said!
He just threw all his lessons out the window and just said f it 🙄
No he’s not disloyal … he stated a documented and verifiable fact. She attempting to shame him & put all kinds of dirt on his name in public, and she had her factual actions & deeds aired out.
Notice she didn’t and couldn’t deny it. That’s embezzlement. He could have been put in jail for “her behavior”.
Their children would’ve been without financial support or a father behind her Bullshyte.
So ur judging a full community of people off of the actions of a few. I pray no one treats u the same way. Blessings dear
@@dancexsExactly!!!
He couldn’t stop smiling when she mentioned that other woman
He's willing to lose his wife for the fame and notoriety of the church. He just doesn't care enough about her and it's only going to get worse. From what I've seen and heard, it's common for the first lady to be miserable while putting on a happy face and pretending to have a great husband/marriage.
Really? This is what you get from video? It's so sad!
Your right! The same way he says he was called to the church, is the same way he was called to be a husband. Both are his responsibility, and he can’t even admit he’s been less than to his wife
@@elizeelisma I'm with you. IDK how she came up with that conclusion
The first lady is stealing money for hand bags and shoes. She doesn't sound too miserable to me. She is putting her husband freedom on the line.
@@elizeelisma Yes. Yes. I agree, it is sad. He should put more effort into his marriage instead of taking his ex on dates. Maybe then his wife wouldn't be trying to buy happiness.
...i dont believe he was Called as much as he was next in line for the JOB
That lady would be taking BOTH of us to lunch every day 🤛🏻
I know that's right!!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Yes we going
Your wife is your first ministry sir
Actually God is first then your wife.
Actually marriage is their first ministry.
And that's on the Bible!!!
That's why some decided for no marriage thing because it's impossible to serve 2 equally.
@@steelwill78 God is your personal relationship in private, then it's wife, children, then church.
im only 5 mins in but I know they gonna embarrass their church
This man to me makes spreading the word seems like a business.
Everything becomes business when money is involved... lol
🚩
I'm surprised to see a Pastor on a show airing the laundry.
My thoughts exactly. What are they doing here in front of the world. The world should not be judging this matter. This is so immature. If they need help, there is counseling.
Same
I'm not surprised. Preachers will do anything to recruit new members.
When he said the trip to 🇯🇲 would gain exposure for the church was all I needed to hear. 😅
Why did this man just stand there and throw his wife under the bus like that? I thought he was trying to save their marriage. He’s about to get his church audited standing here trying to point the finger at her, to take attention off of his shortcomings in the marriage. SMH. Seems consistent with his inability to make good decisions, draw appropriate boundaries, and manage communication in his marriage, though.
You know what they say. The way you do a thing is the way you do everything.
A man leaves his mother and father and JOINS WITH HIS WIFE AND THEY BECOME ONE. His obligation should be to his wife first.
Amen!
I have no patience . I hate waiting on part 2 😩
😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I'm here looking for where and when can I see part 2! 😅🤷🏾♀️
This man love the attention from the ex.
The fact that he is not willing to set boundaries with her making excuses. “If I take gifts from another person then i gotta take them from her” lol chile this people
I’ve literally seen so many marriages ruined by the “dedication/devotion” to the “church”. Wives serving the church more than they are serving the home/Husband. Husbands not being emotionally thoughtful.
My ex-husband wanted to take our problems to the Pastor-“No”
Are you single 😊?
Just curious would you have preferred another therapist besides the pastor
I love way the Catholic Church deals with these problems.
"Wanna attend mass daily ? Great, please come ! Are you doing that at the expense of your family ? Please stay at home and check your priorities again."
Ok I see him. He’s trying to become this big time minister (pastor). He wanna be famous. His speech gives him away. The opportunity to preach Jesus to the list should not be seen as an opportunity to grow one’s own platform. Your wife is your first ministry, not the church. When she’s not covered and loved properly the negative effects trickle down upon the children.
She definitely didn’t want that shared about the church credit card!
That’s wrong, she even said, that he was doing too much
She was dead ass wrong. But he was worse for throwing her under the bus like that. That should have been a private conversation amongst the two of them.
He's using the church as an excuse man up pastor 😢😢
The pastor should NEVER go to lunch, or for that matter, anywhere with another woman unless his wife or another man is with them. He should never be alone with another woman!!! A wonderful example of this is Evangelist Billy Graham.❤
And yes he did act dishonorably…. He should not be going on lunch dates with church women. Shun the appearance of evil, it really doesn’t look right morally for a married man, let alone a pastor.
Let's be honest- the moment he talked about getting the name of his church iut through the opportunity with Jamaica, I knew he was in it for it fame and notoriety. He wants to be the next TD Jakes. I can see that clear as day.
Especially when he first started off saying he was an associate pastor but he “worked his way on up” & “of a lifetime opportunity “ interesting words he kept using, he was on a mission to fame & once he got head position he wasn’t gonna let wife stop it. He took that other lady pie like it was from a fan , his ego ate that on up.
He is out of order!! That lady is supposed to go to the wife first and offer any gifts. He is making himself look shady. They both need to get counseling.
When a Man Of God has a calling on his life he answers. The Wife should know this already. I’m not sure if it’s his calling because he looking for fame and not teaching the Gospel.
the Pastor regrets marrying his wife and he wishes he was in a relationship with the woman who "baked him a PIE"
He ate that pie alright 😂😂😂😂😂
@@sunflowertulip9346 What do you think she ate or drank?
@@hi-xf7cjI have no clue, but the one who baked him the pie, gave him a piece of it to eat. 😂😂😂😂😂
Well, Bishop Noel Jones’s first marriage ended because of putting the church and ministry first. It took him years to remarry! Man you better get it together quick, fast and in a hurry before you lose your wife. Maybe you need to be single if you don’t figure out how to strike the proper balance between marriage, family and ministry.
If all those women in the church wanted him, and he’s a senior pastor now, you actually really think he’s not going to find another one?
@@bryanbeeman5256sad thing is he will replace her fast and in a hurry…. He’ll never learn his lesson and all those women waiting in line are all going to get hurt… none of them will realize until it’s too late… everything always looks better from the outside 👀
I used to attend Pastor Noel Jones' church in Los Angeles. Just wanted to give a shout out
@bryanbeeman5256 he may get another wife but he will won't be happy because he wants her. People sometimes give away the one they wanted and are upset with next because they aren't that one.
A 50 year old pastor talking like a gen z on tik tok 😒 "influencer" and "platform"
He wants fame. She did too i think. Only difference is he went all in, she's riding the fence. He won't be single long, he'll be w ms. Parker from the church in no time 🤷🏾♀️
These pastors are all about fame and not purpose. He has his priorities wrong. She is just as wrong.
Right she’s just supposed to sit there and be an accessory to her passa husband. Like most narcissists it’s all about them. He adores the attention he gets. He has a beautiful wife|First Lady and that alone makes the women approach. It’s up to him to stop it but he doesn’t want to he is addicted to the pomp and circumstance. In my mind I said heauxs in different area codes when he got up from the dinner table. He would have to pay alimony AND child support if they got a divorce and his rep will be stained that’s the only reason he doesn’t want a divorce. Sis get cho atty and divorce his monkey @$$!
Her goal was to LOCK HIM DOWN.
Now she's paying the price.
Amen
Girl you got to move on, he's not going to give up the church, 😭
Naw it sounds like he was using the lord for a lot of excuses tbh
The Bible says to make sure your house is in order before working in ministry.
If he wanted to dedicate that much of his life to the church and didn’t want to commit any time to his family, he shouldn’t have gotten married. God says love you wife like Christ loved the church. How is continually neglecting your family, loving it? Being a pastor IS a full time role but it doesn’t make sense to get married if you don’t want to share your time. It’s not an indictment on him as a pastor, but if he decided to be a pastor and a husband he has a duty before God to fulfill those roles.
Amen!!!
He's going against the Word of G-d the way he's acting towards his wife.
1Timothy 5:8 : But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
She knows the order of the church with her husband and she's stealing from the church and she's not even going to church with her husband he's going to start eating those pies and cookies 😂
When it comes to God, everything has an order. You also have to fulfill your wife's needs as well. Ephesians 5:25.
Yep this case hits home. A lot of religious families go through this. Church people will kill you and putting your all into the church will destroy your family. Unfortunately pastors don't know how to strike a balance and often times their family suffers.
I knew it was "another woman" in there!!!
I know I am not made to be the first lady of the church. He does need to set boundaries and learn to balance his calling with his role as a husband. Now she also has some things she need to work on. Using church funds for things not related to the church is wrong, and she knows better. She needs to decide if she can tolerate and handle being a pastor's wife.
One word comes to mind about the paster:..."NARCISSIST "...watching from the south east of England 🏴
So she only liked him because she thought he was attractive? She didn't even say any other reasons why she's attracted to him.
He looked ok. He was no Denzel or Idris. IMO she could have done a lot better. Too bad she couldn't have figured he was already married.To the church.
.
I think she was giddy about becoming first Lady. And BTW, he still messing with that other woman who takes him (but not her) to lunch..jmho
Whether people believe it, or not, when you’re a pastor, church business, a lot of times is not your wife’s business; especially when it comes to confidential information. That pastor should have other clergy, members, and or trustees that they can utilize when they are counseling individuals. There is no reason why a Pastor should be counseling someone of the opposite sex alone.
He know that, he up there playing innocent and all !!!!🤣😂🤣😋🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂
He should Neva be accepting gifts from any women not unless it's for him and his wife.
And this heffa had the nerve to ask his wife do you want to come with US?!?!🤦🏿♀️😡
I Want the Live Audience Back!!!!!
That smirk on his face when she mentions the other woman tells it all! 👀
I understand both, at her age, I got super emotional and wanted my husband more than before. Saw my doctor because of my emotional state,low dose hormone medication and bam, my life became my own priority again, felt my husband loved me the same again❤😊
But were u in danger of dying twice during your marriage? Fighting cancer is hard but fighting it alone twice is misery
His wife comes before the people in the church. sorry, she should leave his azz and get a man who has time for her. When I was young, our pastor would come to our house to visit my single mom. All 6 of my brothers, my two older sisters and I would sit in that room with them the entire time. I had seen the way he looked at my mom and we weren't having none of that. Man of God my behind. He was trying to get some. When he realized we would NEVER leave him alone with my mom, he stopped coming over.
The first thing the Judge learned in Law School is to "Avoid the appearance of impropriety." How come that the "Pastor" did not learned from 1st. Thess. 5; 22? So many Pastors but only a few that is called of God.
It's similar to marrying someone who joins the military. You supported them to get in, but years down the line you don't like those months long overseas. Now you want things to change. You can't expect someone to just stop what they're doing just because you grew tired from something you use to like and support. That's not fair. She's looking and using any and every excuse to make him out to the bad guy.
She comes off as extremely selfish and she's doing her best to paint the picture as if she is a good first lady and she's not.. if I was the pastor I would tell her either she can get on board or be gone because I'm not going to turn my back on the blessing that God gave me that's the same thing that got Adam in trouble with Eve.....lol
@zulu3274 wow. You were spot on with that. 👏🏼
@@dukeyoungsworkout513 you were on point with your original comment too... You'd be surprised that in the "age of information" people still lacking when it comes to what's going... When I saw it I was like I'm glad somebody in the comment section gets it lol... She had no problem trying to throw him under the bus for some gifts given by a congregation member but wanted to breeze over her misappropriating church funds which could have gotten him in SERIOUS TROUBLE... smh
@@zulu3274 facts. 💪🏽
She not built to be a pastor’s wife (especially if she’s using church funds, that’s the main reason people don’t trust churches forreal) and he not in this for the right reasons if he’s taking things on for the opportunity to get his name out. He need to get back with ole girl and she needs to find a man that’ll make her a priority
Even the President makes time for his wife.
That pastor deflected real quick when he got cornered. Too bad the judge didn't stop that and finished one topic theeeennnn jump into the first lady's criminal activity.
Why go on tv n air out their private life. He went to secret meetings with other ppl.
I suggest Pastors learn to delegate to seasoned ministers in the church, necessarily. Place church administrators also as necessary to answer or intercept phone calls, etc. Create boundaries w/staff & members, especially ppl of pass relationships! Where's Part 2?
100% agree..Great Summarization
@@sheenafreeman4537 Thank you.😊 I was previously married to an associate minister also worked in churches.
This church sounds like a fraud. Dude is doing it for fame and being a celebrity. This isn’t no calling. He keeps saying it’s a huge opportunity for him.
He kept making excuses for unwise choices that’s clearly not the right thing to do when married . He tried to convince judge but she knew & he knew that ain’t cool while it was rolling off his lips, he just wanted to do what he wanted to do & convince his self it’s ok. He seems to be in it for the title & fame. But what’s so glamorous about being a preacher Is what i don’t get. You can’t do what most secular folk can without being judged.
This man doesn’t love his wife, she’s there to play a role and support him and look good for the congregation etc. FIGHTING. CANCER ALONE when you’re a dating “a man of God” is crazy. And no 10th wedding anniversary and no making up for it. Girl he don’t really love you
He's shady but that's what happens when you get with or marry someone just for their looks alone.
She up here worried about a gift from a lady and she's stealing money from the Church. This is why so many people refuse to go to Church!
I love God. I don't want to be a First Lady maybe a Deacon's wife lol.
I’m waiting for Part 2
Me too
This Pastor doesn't have boundaries with his ex
Just bc he is a pastor and has a calling does not mean he has to always choose the people of the church or not establish boundaries to be there for his family. Home is always your first ministry.
Those imaginary friends cost you your reality
He doesn't love his wife. Point blank period. And he's shady.
So many pastors live a carnal lifestyle and don’t understand that the church is within you and not in a building, God is spiritual. We may need a building to receive the people. However we must learn that righteousness is built from within.😊
While he could have set boundaries with women, she's not innocent here. She wanted to marry him, didn't negotiate a salary she was happy with, and effectively stole money from the church. Don't think we need a part 2 because this relationship is over.
For A Man Of God He Real Sneaky
She needs to leave him and that's just sad not prioritizing her
He doesn't want to be married.
It seems as though no one mentored him as a young preacher. Because a lot of the behaviors that he’s exhibiting, a seasoned pastor would have given him wisdom in the matters of being a pastor.
The church should come first, but he should make time for her as well.
I can tell she wouldn’t have went for turning that Jamaica trip into a business trip
You can’t choose the church over your wife and you can’t choose your wife over the church. Your wife is a part of the church. This is what makes it challenging. His first priority is God, and God gave him his calling to Sheppard at the church. Well, his wife is a part of that flock, so he cannot miss treat her just like he cannot miss, treat his congregation.
Please, pastors, there's no need to come and air their dirty laundry on this kind of show.
This shows how immature Christian she is.
This can destroy this man's reputation, and she doesn't think about anything except herself.
If she knows her man is a pastor, she did not need to marry him at all.
...the Bible exhorts husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church
I was about to comment but i had to listen. If hes a pastor he should know about discernment. He said he was called. For many are called but few or chosen.
I can say too that this lady was not meant to be a Pastor's wife in my opinion. She does not attend church, she spends the church money on handbags and other stuff. She just wanted a husband but she didn't know what his purpose was.
Right! All these other comments shows these ppl don’t have any idea of what it is to be called, and stick through- when not only the calling is ordained y God but the marriage also. This woman only seen him for his outer appearance. That’s all she could say that attracted herself to him. His appearance. So that’s why she don’t have the endurance that she needs to be w/him
@@royaldominionauthorityglob4813 And also let's be real a lot of us black women love to compete with other black women for black men.. Everyone tries to say black women are the least married so some black women are so desperate for a man, especially a black man, that they see every woman as competition. If she had had any sense, she would have let the high ranking black woman who takes him to lunch keep Him. Maybe that was the woman that was meant to be with him. Bishop Noel Jones got some mess with him but he preached a sermon one time called ,"The gift". He said everybody wants the gift, but when they get it, they don't know what to do with it. That's this woman.
Plus those church women are waiting for you to go just to take your place.
Knew it was a lady lurking somewhere from the church 😒
To all you devout God-fearing women of color out there seeking the same, be careful what you ask for! She got what she wanted; but as my grandmother says- is that what you wanted, or is that what you THOUGHT you wanted..?
He does not take responsibility for anything, now throw your wife under the bus 🤦🏾♀️
They need spousal therapy if they wanna work this out. Issues on both sides. She may also need individual counseling.
For some reason I think he's so full of 💩I can see right through him, I said what I said and I ain't changing it🤷🏾♀AND he's cheating🥴
First of all a pastor must be called by God. It has nothing to do with working your way up, intellect or influence. Once you are called there will be challenges but God will give grace.
I’d love to be a member of this church congregation at this moment 🤣🤭I live in upstate SC
What’s interesting is that anyone who assumes this position is supposed to take care of home first lol
That's what I was thinking!
I guess having been dx with CANCER twice doesn't count.
That pastor is sneaky
I agree with you Judge Star Jones
Seems like he is driven by pride and ego striving for fame and noteriety.
Even the Bible says nurturing the family comes first thus building a strong foundation. He doesn't seem to even want to compromise with her. Why would he even consider spending time w a lady he dated accepting gifts, accolates and adoration? Pride and ego. Sounds like it is always about him and his needs. Push/ pull, round round
Being a pastors wife is a Godly calling, you must know that the work of God comes first, before himself and his family.
Wrong!! GOD comes first in the marriage of husband and wife. Then the wife is second and all things after. That’s Biblical. Nothing in the Bible says to neglect your spouse to tend to the church and the people in it. That actually places the church as an idol and there are no idols before GOD. He needs to take care of his marriage so GOD can properly lead him. He’s out of line.
She gets paid a love offering? In today's economy that don't work. We all want to get paid. She would probably do better on her own where she can get a job and a whole paycheck and buy Herself some nice things, and love her own dreams...
My pastor said that your marriage is your first ministry. He took you for granted .. and never thought she’d be upset about it
My pastor don’t play. His wife is first. He makes it known very he’s with First Lady and he ain’t available. I respect that .