9 Signs he is NOT the one for you | Dating Advice & Relationship Tips
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- Опубліковано 10 кві 2021
- In this video, I'm sharing 9 Signs that he is NOT the one God has for you. If we can learn to look for red flags early on that he's not the one, it can spare us from a lot of unnecessary heartbreak. It will also keep us from wasting time, energy, and emotions with someone who is not the one God has for us and keep us open for when the right man comes along. So if you're wondering what signs to watch out for when determining whether someone you are dating could be your future husband, this video is for you!
I hope you find these tips helpful, and let me know if you have anything to add in the comments!
Xo, H
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Thanks so much for watching! Comment below if you have any of your own tips to share! XO, H
So very true ! Thank you 😊
In a healthy relationship, BOTH parties will pursue each other.
1. You always pursuing him (having to call first or always making the first move)
2. If he causes you to compromise your time with God
3. He does not respect your boundaries( him crossing the line)
4. He does not make you a priority( going weeks without you, not calling for weeks.
5. His words do not match his action
6. He makes you feel bad about yourself (making you feel insecure)
7. you don't trust him( don't overlook it and trust your instincts)
8. He hides you in the relationship
9. you feel the need to change him (don't try to change him)
GREAT tips! Even though they feel like "common sense" this is much needed for when the feels hit and the temptation to compromise is strong.
Thank you Jenna! Yes, I love how you said "when the feels hit" That is exactly what happens and then common sense tends to go out the window! 💕
Dear Heather, thank you for sharing your wisdom. Hope all is well. You are in my prayers! 💕
Great tips, thanks so much!😍 I would just add that sometimes we come across wolves in sheep's clothing. So they are ticking all the boxes before marriage, love bombing, saying all the right things and after marriage they show their true colors. So I'd say ask God for discernment and that He reveals your husband to you and that His will be done. If God leads us, things will turn out right. Hugs xx
Hey! Great video...I just wanted to add that it is okay to acknowledge that the person is not “good” and if that individual is showing these “red flags” it is okay to simply walk away and to not even “entertain” anymore. Walking away and praying for that individual is perfectly fine too because if the person was really “great” then they would “respect” you and your boundaries. Thanks again and new subbie! 💕
Thanks for sharing!!
This is so spot on and thank you
😭 it's true about the trust. We havent met but I feel like they got wandeeing eyes and I can't trust them. Makes me feel so insecure I keep wondering if they'd cheat
This is excellent advice! Thank you, Heather!
I'm so glad you found it helpful!! 💕🙌🏻
This was so very helpful... there was a guy who almost tripped over himself, went out of his way, to help me when we both worked a the same ministry. Looking back he led me on. He had no follow through at all. Never ask me out or if he could get to know me better outside of work. I waited and waiting and waited some more, wasting a lot of time. It wasn't until this video, Heather, that I realized he definitely is NOT the one Father God has for me! I heard A LOT of teaching on The Love Chapter: 1Corinthians 13:4-8, so I thought I had to be more encouraging, more patient, more kind. But I kept coming up short. Settling for crumbs.
I appreciate your personal example that you shared in this video. This video helped me wake up and stop hoping he would take action and pursue me. You did an excellent job in this video, Heather!!!
Thank you so VERY much for these "9 signs that he is NOT the one for you."
Even though I feel sad that I wasted so much time waiting and hoping he would pursue me, I accept the truth. Please pray that I can move on and trust GOD for The Godly man HE has for me.
@Janet Jaworski, I'm so glad that this video helped you!! I'm praying for you to be able to move on with a deeper trust in God's goodness and faithfulness, walking in your self-worth and knowing that you deserve God's best! And when you meet him, he will there will be no question of his pursuit 🙏🏻💕
Thank you for sharing this,sis!
@ Jezzi Jiang, I am so grateful to be able to share! 💕
I'm praying to find the love of my life. My ex had all those red flags you mentioned
Same💔
Wow so on points , I 've experienced some of these trait in the passed ,I thank GOD for opening my eyes,great insight thank you for refreshing my memory on some red flags.
@ R G, you are so welcome! I'm so happy that you found them helpful! 🙌🏻
I like your video sis
I love your content! Thank you so much!! ✨♥♥♥ God bless.
Great points & sound advice. God bless you.
Thank you Ruth! 🙌🏻
Great, my dear, this is good for anyone who loves Jesus. Except those who do not embrace holiness. Keep on doing what you're doing. The Lord will reward you. Stay blessed.
Great video ❤️❤️❤️
Literally love your videos after just watching 1 other one. Feels authentic. This makes me realize sooo many women date and even marry guys that are NOT their true husbands and that's why it's so painful and tumultuous... 1) basically stops pursuing you
So true...great advice
@Bless Child, I'm so glad you found it helpful!
I just wanted to say that I really liked the advice you gave, and furthermore, the way you gave it. You were really sweet in the way you made all your points, and concise about what you were saying in a way that made it easy to understand. A lot of times, when I hear people try to give advice about relationships and red flags, it can all come across as so condescending or as the it's all up to the woman. I especially liked how you said that it wasn't just up to the woman to make sure boundaries are honored. I've never understood that if a woman or person in general states they are not comfortable past a certain point and the other person agrees and claims to respect that, that it is the woman's job to make sure those boundaries aren't crossed. But if boundaries were laid, I've never thought that a woman HAD to make sure to say no. It should be a foregone conclusion that those boundaries should always be honored.
Also, the lighting was really nice in your videos.
You seem like a really nice person. Congratulations on your marriage!
@Lilith Rodgers, thank you so much for all of your kind feedback! I'm so happy you enjoyed the video and found the points easy to understand! That is so great to hear! Blessings to you! 💞
Thank you!!! I told my ex that I didn't want certain boundaries crossed until engagement, but he continually asked me when we could cross that boundary though it was far from engagement. I was pressured to cross those boundaries, but he kept telling me I should've just said no after I felt bad. He did not want to help me wait until engagement, he just expected me to say no in the moment instead of helping me uphold my boundaries! He did not believe me when I said wait until engagement. He said my stating that I wanted to wait until engagement was less direct than saying no 🤯
You are beautiful sister in Christ, both your soul and your face shine. ✨
One of the signs was "If he's hiding you." It was years before I saw the office where my ex worked. I was invited to one or two work parties over 10 or more years. It was a sign I chose to ignore again and again.
My ex-boyfriend was bad with some of these and excellent with others. Was so confused for the past year following about whether our break-up was the right decision. Getting better at getting over him now, but it remains true that romance is confusing!!!
I just got out of a 6 year relationship. He was best. But there were red flags and he was Buddhist. So I had to end it. But I was feeling guilty and still feel bad and find it difficult to love again without guilt. Any advice?
My man pursued me. He's a believer. Hardworking. Sober. But he has a bit of PTSD from childhood trauma. He struggles with anxiety and can't handle any conflict or disagreements. This is why we haven't married though he asked me.
I broke it off and now he's getting very good Christian counseling but we are not in contact and I miss him so.. Pray for us! We are abstinent too.
I know that has to be very difficult! Praying for you both! 🙏🏻
Thank you Heather. Our Pastor says he believes my exfiance IS my spouse. That we should marry. Again, we aren't in contact. God said take a break and I am and it hurts. The good news is I was able to complete my 3rd book. I'm part of a prison ministry plus I mentor new Christian ladies. It's a joy! I know that God is perfecting us both & helping us to bear fruit and that's what we are doing. God says we will reconcile very very soon, but His timing is different from our limited mindsets.
I married a man just like this and everything was great at first. But it has been the biggest mistake of my life. He has to never ever stop therapy if it's going to be a healthy relationship.
Awesome channel and beautiful story ❤️
Thank you so much @Greta Bereisaite! 💕
I am 62 years old never married Christian woman still waiting for my husband from God.
This makes me so so sad 😢 how do you remain so patient??
@@Nita-GodisGreat Nita, Well, I am 64 this year and I am still praying. What else can I do? In the meantime, I work, I am going back to college for another degree, I am writing a book, and I give back to my community. (Being in your 40's it is very easy to "date" as Harrison Ford said, falling in love is falling in love- I would rather have it once in my life than never at all...I am just waiting for the first time.....) xo lisa
@@beautificvision2023 I pray we both receive Godly husbands!!
THANKYOU. Also if he is saying he is not ready for a relationship, yet his actions are saying we are in a relationship / or it looks like we are. This too is not the best.
Yes, absolutely, that is a great point! Thank you for adding it!
@@HeatherDanielleMitchell loving your channel. THANKYOU.
My EX boyfriend made me feel like I had to have sex with him for him to be happy “and feel loved” by me. I tried to break up with him multiple times but the first time I was too weak. The second time he said he’d kill himself the third time he said he found God and the fourth time I felt so spiritually sick and I felt trapped but God convicted me so hard that I let go and although I’m sad I let him treat me like that for 5 years I’m free
I expressed my concerns and He said “where in the bible does it say we know who we are going to marry?”
I was speechless…
Brother speak, A man will lead in all things, a man will lead you to understand Jesus better both by knowledge, action, and reading the Word, He is someone who leads in prayer, reading the Word, and making big choices.
Number 7 is big! This guy claim to be Christian yea yea would always leave me feeling bad almost seemed as if he just wanted know my past to use against me and thought I didn’t know what was going on because I appeared nice. But I was on to him before he got a good two weeks of knowing me and cut it off I did not Trust him. The way a man makes you feel is important.
God send me my own man . Amen
Do you think some aren't meant to be married? 😢
Or he doesn’t support you financially
I don't want or need any woman. No way! I am single and staying that way!
Or he doesn't wanna get married 🙄stay forever living his parents at age 30
@ M A, YES! Not a good sign!!
Dear Heather: You sound like how I was brought up. I'm curious as what your church affiliation is?
Hi Phyllis 👋 i'm pretty much non denominational
Tired
What happens if you find God and Jesus and come to believe after marriage, and being with your partner for 13 years and realise you'd made the wrong choice.