The Truth About Daycare, ADHD, and Attachment Issues
Вставка
- Опубліковано 1 жов 2024
- Have you ever questioned the real impact of daycare on your child's growth? In this compelling episode, Dr. Josh Axe reacts to insights from a clinical social worker, unraveling the intricacies of daycare's effect on childhood development.
Dr. Josh Axe examines:
* Is ADHD really a disorder?
* The concerning surge in ADHD rates among young children
* Research linking increased daycare hours to the emergence of behavioral and attentional issues in children
* A hierarchy of care options to foster emotional well-being
* The best ways for working parents to support their children
Gain profound insights into the often-overlooked consequences of daycare on childhood development. Dr. Axe provides actionable tips and alternative care approaches, empowering parents to make informed decisions for their children's well-being.
--------------------
Links:
/ 1
journals.plos....
ifstudies.org/...
nces.ed.gov/fa...
www.iwf.org/20...
worldpopulatio...
www.child-ency...
www.zora.uzh.c...
--------------------
ABOUT DR. JOSH AXE
Dr. Josh Axe is a leadership expert, entrepreneur, and physician. He earned his doctorate from Palmer College and his Master of Science in Organizational Leadership from Johns Hopkins University. Josh is the cofounder and CVO of Ancient Nutrition and founder of DrAxe.com. His company ranked on the Inc. 500 fastest growing companies two years in a row. He is the bestselling author of Eat Dirt, Keto Diet, and Ancient Remedies. Josh is the founder of Leaders.com, an online platform that provides the latest on breaking news, leadership, business, and wealth. He regularly teaches lectures and trains entrepreneurs on leadership, mindset, and self- development. Josh is married to his wife, Chelsea, and they have two daughters. They live between Nashville, TN and Dorado, PR and enjoy cooking, staying active swimming and cycling, and prioritize time for their faith and family. His latest book, Think This Not That, will be available nationwide April 2, 2024.
--------------------
➕ CONNECT WITH DR. JOSH AXE
Like on Facebook → drjoshaxe/
Follow on Instagram → drjoshaxe
Follow on Twitter → drjoshaxe/
Follow on TikTok → tiktok.com/@thegrowthlabpodcast/
➕ CONNECT WITH LEADERS
Like on Facebook → LeadersNewsMedia/
Follow on Instagram → leaders.ig
Follow on Twitter → realleadersnews/
Email Newsletter → leaders.com/
--------------------
DISCLAIMER
This content is strictly the opinion of Dr. Josh Axe and is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide medical advice or to take the place of medical advice or treatment from a personal physician. All viewers of this content are advised to consult their doctors or qualified health professionals regarding specific health questions. Neither Dr. Axe nor the publisher of this content takes responsibility for possible health consequences of any person or persons reading or following the information in this educational content. All viewers of this content, especially those taking prescription or over-the-counter medications, should consult their physicians before beginning any nutrition, supplement or lifestyle program.
I've felt this way for a long time. As a teacher, I put a pause on my career to stay at home with my kids. As adults, they are well adjusted and close to us as a family. Now late in my career, I'm seeing MOST children having issues. We need to change our priorities!
Thank you so much for sharing your experience! God bless you and your family 🙏
I agree. I must confess I had to go back to work when my youngest was 2 years old and he was Adhd. But what I was seeing in my classes at the end of my career was frightening. We have feral kids with lots of behavior issues due to poor parenting.
The more we outsourse...the worst we are off. Childcare, food preparation, etc.
I have a 2 yr old and 5 month old and I’m a teacher as well of 9 years. But this year I’m staying home after school lets out for summer 🫶🏼
I am an ophthalmologist, glaucoma specialist doctor and now I am a stay at home mom for 2 years . Do I miss my job and OR? Absolutely!!! But I also have a personal experienced growing with nannies and drivers since my parents are busy working as a doctors. I can tell you nothing can be able to compensate for kid yarning for parents’ time.
Still have no idea what I should do if I am going to send him/her to school but at least I am surely know I’m doing all the things I can as a mom for them.
I worked in daycare years ago and noticed how much the babies needed their moms. The policy of the daycare was to move kids up to the next teacher within 6 months to a year. A child could make an attachment to a teacher, but then they moved up. I had kids cry when they saw me because I wasn’t with them in the classroom. I questioned this because the best daycares, according to a child psychology class, have teachers stay with their group of kids and not pass them to the next age group teacher. I’m so thankful I can stay home with my kids. My younger children are so less stressed than my older children who were in care at very young ages. I also love that I can homeschool my kids.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience!
As a home based provider of 34 years, I agree. I've had children in my home from newborn through age 13. Being with me, and my husband as a strong male figure is key. This creates/ed a surrogate family group. I'm still in contact with many of my kids as adults in their 20s and 30s.❤
And their dads and siblings too.
They need *
Yes, continuity of care is so important. For a time I worked in a childcare center that provided that for children. Teachers moved up with the babies until they went to the preschool pod where they had 2 years with the same teachers there.
When it comes to children, The days are long... but the years are short!
Well said…I agree
❤ Love that perspective.
Yes my mom told me this and I always remember it ❤
Well put!❤
What does that mean? Please explain.
I grew up thinking I would work and use daycare until I held my firstborn and I could not leave my baby. I was not expecting those feelings at all. When he went off to preschool my 2nd child asked him what he did while he was at recess. He said, “just think about mom”. My baby! He’s 9 now and I have 5 children. We have been homeschooling since Covid. Love it!
Wow I had the same experience ❤🥲. They are so vulnerable and defenseless, we can never get the time back to give them a safe and secure foundation for the rest of their lives.
💯
😭❤️ I stay home with our babies too! We plan to homeschool as well. My oldest boy will be 2 in November and my youngest boy is 5 months in two days! ❤❤
The same happened to me. I just couldn’t leave our baby. The thought of separating from him for so many hrs so I could work would have me anxious
, heartbroken and I would start sobbing uncontrollably. Thankfully I was able to stay home with him who is now 2.
“Just think about mom” - that is so precious! I stay home with my babies, too, and work from home, and I am so thankful we get all of this time together!
This wasn’t an issue when a family could live on one wage. This has been created by the devaluation of money, inflation and creating a debt based society. Let’s hope we in the western world wake up to it soon and exercise our choice at the voting box.
Although voting doesn’t seem to make a difference.
@@sassysandie2865 yep, perhaps it’s time for some 1776 energy
@@sunmoonstars3879 I hate war but I understand why you think that. The government loves war because they make money from it.
::: Splitting up families, and devaluing women, is a major plank in the Marxist ideology framework that became popular in the early 20th century.
coughfeminismcough flooding the business world with female workers, devaluing wages certainly didn't seem to help.
As a child care professional of over forty years, I would 100% AGREE with the information. Thank you for this video!
Thank you for tuning in and sharing your thoughts!
My daughter owns her own childcare facility and I work with her as well as another teacher aide and I agree 💯 % as well.
My children’s father is a veteran of dessert storm and I was blessed to be able to be a stay home mom for the first 12 years of our marriage. I know this is why my kids are well rounded and socially able to adjust to life’s challenges because they had parents throughout their early childhood to refuel them everyday. I started an childcare business when my kids were in elementary/junior high school so my daughter did the same so she could raise her own kids and not have to be away from them. We do our best to comfort our daycare kids but their plight is clear to see. Thank you for this video and raising the discussion. One thing that worked for us as parents when I did join the workforce, my ex husband worked graveyard and I worked part time in the day. My kids never tasted daycare, only family and close friends. I hope this video helps parents see the need to do all they can to be there in their first 3 if not 5 years of their children’s lives. Thanks Doc for another great video ❤🙏🏾💯🥰
I am a 72 year old mother and grandmother. Raised in the 50’s &60’s my mother only worked part-time but I can still feel the trauma of coming home to an empty house. My mom was a homemaker, she radiated comfort and secured by her presence. When I married and we wanted to start a family all I could think about was if I can’t take care of my children then I don’t want to have any. We worked it out to where I could stay home with them. That didn’t last very long and I needed to work part time. My daughter didn’t adjust any better than I did. Saying all this to say Mothers do not underestimate your role as a mother, nurture and sustainer. Thank you for bringing truth to the forefront!
Thank you for sharing your story! God bless you and your family!!
I have done the same with my daughter but now we want a second it is becoming increasingly difficult
I am happy there is a conversation about this.
It cost me a lot to stay home with my kids, but I am so happy I did that for them and for me.
I wouldn’t have changed my decision if I had to relive it.
I went with my maternal instinct.
I am a single mom, and I work from home in accounting. I go to the office one a week for a few hours, and have family stay with the kids, that is also a blessing.
❤🫶
Should not have not gotten divorced
@@Plainstreamer yes I should have stayed and let my ex molest my kids.
Before you give advice know the situation and ask if that person wants your advice.
@@PlainstreamerYou don't know the circumstances...
I was told not to have children until the father & I was capable and had the resources to care for them.
Best advice.
I stayed at home with our 2 children & ended up homeschooling, as well.
Our daughter is 16 & our son is 11.
I am extremely grateful for my hard-working, loving, supportive husband.
Who you marry will determine so much in your life. You chose well and experienced the benefit of that. This is what more women need to understand.
@@precocioussceptic4967ABSOLUTELY!!!… So many don’t get this!
Amen to that! ❤ my husband and I just had our first baby and I'm blessed to have been able to spend my days with my 4 month old little one thanks to all the hard work and long hours he puts in! Most moms would be back to work by now and I couldn't imagine having to leave him 🥺
I want the same but am running out of time 😢
Lucky 😊
Here’s the sad truth. Until generations of men and women can readjust their values which can allow mothers to stay at home with children, this will be impossible. Costs are through the roof and single parenting is skyrocketing . Our culture is rotting.
I'm staying at home mom and my guy pays child support too.
Oof I can see this agenda harming mothers who can’t or don’t want to stay at home… This trend of doing anything to persuade women to give up their jobs and financial independence is kinda disturbing 😵💫
Here is a summary and outline of the key points from the article:
Summary:
The article discusses research on the impacts of daycare on childhood development, especially for children under age 3. It notes that longer hours/days in daycare is associated with higher rates of aggression, behavioral problems, and attentional issues like ADHD. The ideal situation is parental care, followed by care by grandparents or other family members. The article advises avoiding full-time daycare if possible, and instead using part-time daycare or a trusted nanny. If full-time daycare is necessary, it recommends finding a center with low child-to-caregiver ratios and spending quality time with children outside of daycare hours.
Outline:
I. Research on daycare's effects on childhood development
A. Longer hours/days in daycare associated with more problems
1. Aggression and behavioral issues
2. Attentional issues like ADHD
B. Daycare stresses young children and activates "fight or flight" response
II. Ideal childcare situations (in order)
A. Parental care
B. Grandparents or family members
C. Trusted nanny
D. Shared nanny/small group care
E. Daycare (last resort)
III. Tips if using daycare
A. Use part-time/half-days when possible
B. Find daycare with low child-to-caregiver ratio
C. Spend quality time with kids outside daycare
IV. If child has issues like ADHD
A. Try natural approaches first
B. Focus on personality and reducing stress
C. Avoid medication as first approach
Thanks ❤
Thank you !!! You get my brain!!!
I also highlighted how children under 3 parallel play and how they don't really interact with others until about 3. I also highlighted emotional refueling and how that is needed.
Wow great summary, thank you.
Awesome breakdown!!
By the time you pay a daycare or nanny you don’t bring home much unless you make 100k plus. Do the math.
::: Yes, and, the hidden extras also add up. Transportation, “work clothes” & dry cleaning, and buying more convenience foods put a strain our budgets.
Yup. So many people don't understand how we can afford me being a SAHM on one income. Because it would have been worse for us to afford daycare. I would have basically spent 40 hours away from my kids to pay someone else to raise them for me. Instead, we tightened our finances and make it work. This allows me to homeschool our kids and provide them a safe, happy, healthy home.
@@ThesmartestTem yay!
@@ThesmartestTem ::: Congratulations! We don’t have to be intimidated into believing that they have all the answers.
@@ThesmartestTemheck yes! We did the same and I homeschool my kids as well!
I am a stay at home mom of 3 and I sent my kids to Kindergarten at age 5. My kids’ paediatrician scolded me at every annual checkup because they really want to push kids into daycare, and they even wrote in capital letters: doesn’t attend kindergarten!
But I stand by my decision to keep my kids at home for as long as possible. We had such a fun time! We slept as long as we wanted, had breakfast, went for walks, went to playgrounds, had play dates. I miss the days when my eldest two were at home.. but now they’re well adjusted kids and love that I’m still at home to pick them up, do homework, eat homemade meals together. I still have my youngest at home and I’m savouring the last year before she goes off to Kindergarten.
The days can be very long, but the years are so so short! If you can, it’s definitely best to stay at home ♥️
Why are pediatricians pressuring moms to put babies in day care!? This is so disturbing 😨
Why the pressure?
This ❤
Yes I have a 5 month old and iv had nurses and even other mothers mentioned "so when are you going back to work? When is he going into day care? " now I just tell them I'm old school and I want to be a stay at home mum there is no shame in that...I should tell them our family believes in gender rolls just to anoyy them lol.
Would you consider Home school? If so, read the Moore's, Dorothy and Raymond, and many others. Not school at home so much as real life education.
I know folks who were raised by attentive stay at home mothers who have ADHD... so I don't think that piece is right
Agreed
I thought that too. I suppose if the theory that it’s cause by a fight or flight response or stress it could have been triggered by something else though 🤷🏽♀️
I’m not sure about all that, but it is interesting that ADHD cases are much more common in younger kinds these days.
Some kids are highly sensitive and are just at more risk of ADHD if their parent is more stressed too. So even though a mother might stay home depending on their mother's stress levels and ability to cope, that could bring about ADHD potentially. Factors of if the mother is getting enough support or even other external stresses.
And what about siblings? One have ADHD and the other dont, and both went to daycare...
There could be many causes, but that doesn’t disqualify the reasoning here.
I am 70 but as a latchkey kid of the 60s (grade school age) I can still remember the empty feeling of coming home alone. I was so envious of friends who had Moms at home.
It was the same for me in the 70s. With raising taxes and inflation when I started high school our mother had to go back to work even though my old man was earning money interest rates in my country had gotten to 17%/annum.
It's all part of the plan.
As Lenin said, "Destroy the family, destroy the nation."
I loved being home alone. Got the TV to myself and No one yelling at me to clean.
Thank you. This video made me feel so much better about my decision to leave work to take care of my baby, cause sadly I get shamed for leaving work from family members!!
Time to step into your power mama and tell those ‘family’ you know what’s best for your baby!
It’s interesting that family will always have the most to say! I had a similar experience.
You are definitely doing the best thing for your baby. Momma knows best!
They only shame you bc sadly maybe they didn't get the same opportunity to stay home. Probably jealousy
Girl there are kids being r worded in daycares with no prosecution,
and the fent over doses at the daycare in NY… stay with those babies!!! 😢
I live in Argentina and we have Early education kindergardens here. They must comply government regulations and many of them are public. My baby has attended kinder since he was 1 year old and he loves it. They have 2 teachers per classroom, he's had the same teacher two years in a row (he's 2 now) and they show us pictures and videos of the kids engaging in amazing activities, like painting, building things, experimenting, playing to be doctors, train drivers, explorers, etc. They have a P.E. and a music teacher. He has his group of friends and he's eager to see them every day. He enters school very happily every day and he looks calm and happy every day when I go pick him up. I guess it depends on the place and professionals taking care of the children.
On Denmark children go to daycare from 9 months and they are calm and well socialized. You're 100/% right - it depends on the quality and approaches of daycare and having quality time outside of it.
In Germany also most of the kids go to a kindergarten 1 year old.
Nevervheard of raising ADHD or other issues.
The presented US stats are questionable. In 70s the kinds wich had ADHD were not diagnosed often.
In the US daycare workers often make minimum wage $7.50/hr where I live, and have no special training. I’m sure that is not the case in Denmark and Germany.
We’re in the US and our story is similar. We’re fully involved with her in her time outside of daycare. She loves her friends and loved to go there to play! She feels save and nurtured. It’s 2k a month, so I’m sure not everyone can afford such high quality daycare setting in the US.. but I always see this lady doing interviews and regurgitating the same story over and over.. i agree with some of her points, but it’s not really possible for everyone. And it’s much better to provide a clean and healthy lifestyle for your children than a stressful (lack of funds) home where they can’t afford basically and not sure how to pay the bills.. I’ve experienced both and would rather work harder and provide the best daycare, while balancing out personal development along motherhood.
There’s always the people who will blame you for anything you do.. most importantly, love your children when they’re with you as much as you can, but don’t forgot to discipline them and they’ll turn out fine.
And it depends on the personality of the child!
I hope this video causes a mom to change her mind about daycare.
It has. I was considering it for socialization. I still want more socializing for him but am going to figure something else out.
@@ebonyokeke943playgrounds, library reading times, etc
@@ebonyokeke943Local mom groups, the library often has play groups, church, and local towns often put together family activities and sports.
@@ebonyokeke943 I take my 3 little kids to the library for story time, music, and play (1-2x a wk), they do soccer basics (1x a wk), munchin and me at Rebounderz (2x a wk), park on the other days, and my 4 year old just started t-ball. It all is reasonable and they get out and see the same kids their age each week.
Mom and me gym classes, swim classes, etc.
Priorities People...I stayed home with 5 children on one salary under 50,000 a year. You can do it. Do what is best for your children. Children do not miss money they don't have.
Maybe you could but with inflation now it's probably impossible. I didn't realize I could probably have gotten Medicaid and other help if we only had one income. I thought I had to work because we wouldn't have healthcare if I didn't. My husband never had a job that offered it.
I agree! Priorities! I have a lot of friends who tell me they wish soooo much they could stay home full time with their kids. I tell them it is possible, but you need to make some sacrifices. Most of them are just not willing to give up their two car payment, fancy house lifestyle. I would personally would live in a tent if that’s what it took to stay home with my children.
@@Cuteservative AGREED!
@@ginahartley7295I don’t think you realize what living in a tent entails!!! What a crazy statement to make!
@@sarahgirard1405 I think you took that statement literally, not figuratively. I never said I would live in a tent but sometimes you need to make sacrifices and again it is your choice. I did live in a 2 bedroom with one bathroom with 4 children. Single parents have it tough, but I have a daughter who got divorced (because of an abusive husband) and I told her to move in so we could help her. She has 2 small children and I want her to stay home and raise her kids until they go to school. You make sacrifices ...it is not easy. I raised 5 kids. I did not expect to be 60 years old, work full time and now helping my daughter raise her kids. She works weekends, so I don't have a free weekend. She is lucky, I know not everyone has that support. I worked in 3 very highly rated daycares. I would not send my dog to daycare.
I currently work for a day school. It's heart wrenching to hear babies cry for their mothers and know that's what's best for them. So many momma's underestimate their influence on society by rearing their own children.
Aside from that, there's lots of germs and sicknesses that go around daycare. So parents often have to take off from work to stay home with sick kids. Why pay an exorbitant amount of money to have to ask off all the time? Stay home during the most foundational time of a child's life.
I'm very grateful my mom stayed home with me. It's worth every sacrifice.
So true
I was lucky to afford a nanny but I would never say a bad word about other mums that doesn't have that luxury! You think that those mother leave their kids with smile on their face? You are just cruel... My kids went to preschool when they were 4&5 and they still cry for mummy and my heart was still broken...after some time they enjoy it, made friends and develop emotionally and socially.
@@baassiia As a child of a single mother, yeah, I do think many leave with a smile on their face. Many don't love their children, despite the societal expectation that they are supposed to, and are glad the daycare people are doing the hard work of taking care of their children. My mom said "parenting is a thankless job." Very few want to sacrifice even a few minutes for their child, let alone enough time to raise them. These parents are in for a rude awakening, when they are put in nursing homes.
I will definitely say, my friends that are parents. 95% of the time they have a nasty cough that I'm 99% positive comes from their kids and their corresponding daycares!!!
@@baassiia I'm not saying everyone who puts their child in daycare hates their kid, or is trying to abandon them, to clarify. I'm saying there are a lot of biological females who can give birth, but who are not mothers (that is, the nurture, care, concern, is not there). Those biological females who give birth often find ways to neglect their child in the most lawful way possible, to appear morally decent, and not get arrested. People like this, love the fact that we have a female career society , because their lack of maternal affection is not on display. These same mothers, when they get older, despise the nursing home, though.
To this day I still have ptsd from leaving my niece on her first day of daycare without having time to pull her aside and fully explaining to her I will see her later. The workers there just ushered me out as they lead the children out to the play yard. This was 9 years ago.
I feel what we are doing to our children is heartbreaking. I won’t be surprised they have all suffered abandonment traumas. Thank you for putting awareness to this topic.
In the late 70’s and early 80’s we gave up a lot for me to stay home while the kids were little. We stayed in our small home and drove one car for a while many others were moving into larger homes in the suburbs. I know things have gotten expensive but I think they always were. We can do without a lot of material things. 8-10 hours a day is too long for a toddler to be away from mothers. Kids don’t really need pre-school. Another lie we have been told.
Sometimes preschool is a source of food, a warm place, a place where they can get a head start on their education due to certain family situations. Children are extremely intelligent and education at a young age is crucial.
@@rhondasaab6656::: Governments need to shift their thinking towards budgeting that supports families, rather than institutions.
Kids need preschool if the parents are not involved with their upbringing.
It is a fact that kids without proper learning in their preschool years are always playing catchup. Loving books is so essential at a preschool age but many parents don’t see the value or are not willing to put the work in.
In those instances, preschool is a necessity so the child doesn’t fall too far behind.
In my case I kept my children until they were 6 but at home we were always reading, learning, cooking, exploring.
They have been top of their class ever since they started school. Love research, books and everything related to learning.
I understand your point of preschool not being a necessity but in reality it depends on the parents.
@@rtaveras84 yes under those circumstances it would make sense. Sad.
@@rhondasaab6656No education at a young age isn’t crucial. That’s another lie that Americans have been sold. What’s important during the first five years for healthy brain development is play, not education.
Finland has one of the best school systems in the world and kids start first grade there at age 7. Kids in Finland start kindergarten at age 6. Finnish kids outperform American kids in the PISA survey every year.
We unfortunately have to put our kids in daycare but knowing that we searched for the best daycare we could find that provided what we needed. We spend a bit more expensive than most but it is 4 kids to 1 teacher. Our daughter is 18 months loves her teacher. Parents are welcome to stop by anytime. And we receive several updates and photos throughout the day. Whenever she is not at daycare we make sure we are giving her our undivided attention, playing going for walks , cuddling.
There needs to be more support for mums so they can take more time with their children
In Canada, we have the child tax benefit received monthly for children under 18. It has really helped my family and allowed me to stay at home with my kids.
Heck yes!!!
I was a school teacher, my mom was as well, but I’m now a 36 yr old homeschooling mom, who has been home since my son was born. We weren’t sure if I would be able to stay home but once he was born my husband looked at me and said “we will take it one year at a time” because he knew I couldn’t bear to leave him. We took it one year at a time. For six years now. Raises came that helped with my missing income. I learned to clip coupons and cook every single meal at home and not waste any left overs. Clothes came from consignment sales, I used cloth diapers, and we halted any vacations or unnecessary travel. We made it work. Now we have a system down and are committed to homeschooling and making it work. It wasn’t always sunshine and roses and we lost half of our savings the first year before my husband’s first pay raise rolled in and covered the majority of my missing salary.
I started leaving our son with a grandma for an hour or two to go to the gym or to have a cup of coffee when he was about 9 months old. For his first three years only myself, my husband, or the grandparents kept him. His first night away from us was at age 4 at the grandparents house a few blocks away. Now at age 6 he has no attachment issues. My husband and I left him with the grandparents for three days to go on a marriage retreat with a church group this year and he was fine. That will be a once a year occasion. We just prefer to have our family together.
We have begun having the conversations around moving grandpa or grandma in when they are widowed and need help at home on a regular basis. It may sound crazy, but having cared for my baby/child in this way has opened my eyes to how much we have accepted not only daycare but also nursing homes as the norm. Once upon a time, multiple generations sharing a home was the norm and we want it to be a reality for our family.
Amazing!! Godhelps
I leave this comment with the most respect. I’ve only been able to be blessed with one child. She is now ten. I was a stay at home mom and wife from the time I got married 11 years ago. I’ve always been a stay at home mom. My child never left my side. From the time she was born until the time she went to kindergarten she had only been apart from mom and dad for short periods of time and only with other family members she knew very well. With that said, she has always had combined type adhd. If you know about ADHD, you know that it’s not just emotional dysregulation. But it’s mostly an executive function issue meaning issues with inhibitions or impulse control. As well as having the flexibility to shift between tasks, emotional control, initiative, working memory to hold and recall info, planning and organization and self monitoring or the ability to measure your performance against expectations. Also, most kids with ADHD depending on the type will have some hyperactivity. This can be in the mind, thoughts or physical. Also, some sensory issues can come into play. So boiling adhd down to just being in fight or flight is misinformation. I don’t disagree that it’s stressful for kids to go to daycare. But saying that it causes aggression and ADHD is spreading so much guilt and misinformation. Especially for mamas that are already struggling.
I don't disagree with you, but we need to explain the crazy rise of this disorder and not just throw meds at it.
It’s like you’re describing my daughter. I sent her to pre-k 4 despite everyone suggesting I send her to daycare or headstart earlier. I didn’t and yet I will admit she is my most difficult child to handle, I agree with your sentiment.
According to the research there is a link with daycare and ADHD and behavioral issues, it’s not his opinion it’s based off research. However that doesn’t mean it’s the only cause. Stress appears in many forms and certain children are more sensitive /neuro-divergent than others.
thank you so much for saying this. i was looking for even one comment that was at least supportive or understanding of single, low income moms that literally don't have a choice, but it's all just privledged people bragging about how they did the right thing and stayed home. of course i would love to stay home with my baby, it's not an option. so many videos shaming moms and not enough about real solutions like paid family leave or better child support enforcement. for now i am grateful for my daughter's wonderful daycare teachers that take great care of her when i can't.
@@caitlepaige7518Erika Komisar has been fighting for paid maternity leave for up to a year
For parents working fulltime, cosleeping with their child is great for children. All animals co-sleeping and cuddling with their cubs so why not?.🥰 I remember when me and my four siblings were craving for cuddling with mama, we would fight for a spot close to mama. One sleeps on top of mama's head and the others in her arms ane even between her legs.
In the USA you will get heavy judgement for this. Doctors will threaten cps, they are convinced it is too dangerous.
Yes yes yes❤❤❤
This is a grey area. Many children can comfortably and more restoratively sleep on their own. Co sleeping causing strain on relationships and results in poor sleep for everyone involved. You can lovingly sleep train a child at 3-4 months on WITHOUT cry it out.
My 14 month old has an excellent nap/sleep schedule and it only took two weeks to "train." Her sleep is so restorative and my husband and I keep our bed
I’m so grateful for a mother who stayed home to raise us, even though we lived below the poverty line. We learned to make do or do without. We grew a garden and just ate a lot of beans. My clothes were all hand me downs.
For everyone making it about money, the sacrifice is worth it.
Absolutely!
As an Early childhood professional, while I agree that a child being with thier parents should always be the goal and is the best when possible, I do think it is completely unfair to blanket all childcare programs in that category.
I have seen both sides of the argument. I believe that if a parent can afford to actually be present with thier child at home and teach and develop thier child, that is amazing. But working from home while your child is sitting in front of a screen all day is not the way either.
If a parent finds a quality childcare program a child can absolutely thrive. Especially after the pandemic the rate of children with developmental delays is at an all time high. Instead of blaming each other we would benefit more by working together as a village.
It’s easy to blame child care providers, but there should also be an equal amount of appreciation for all of the HARD work that goes into nurturing and developing children in the most critical stage in thier development.
There are programs who genuinely care and believe in creating a safe, loving, and educational environment.
For the ones who don’t let’s shut them down😑
I agree! I visit my kids daycare every few hours to breastfeed when young and she thrived and loved it! I agree leaving a baby alone for many hours can give them too much anxiety and mom can slowly back off on frequency based on how the child responds. Unfortunately most employers dont allow mom the flexibility they need at work without a huge pay cut. Many stay at home moms i know also leave there kids in front of a tv all day so each situation is not so black and white. Cameras also help too!
Now this is my pain point. I’d love to keep him home but due to the demands of my job… he’d be in front of a screen by me or his grandparents. He has behavioral issues and I know he just wants me more. I’m a single mom but not giving up on getting out of the rat race because my son is depending on it.
THANK YOU FOR THIS COMMENT
@@femaligned ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you for this comment, I was getting anxious about my boys being in daycare; one is almost 4 and one is 2. They started 2 months ago and they’re happy, especially my 4 year old. It’s a lovely daycare and 3 out of the providers working there we know personally that are kind and very patient with the children. They’re very strict with government regulation and they are very clean and anticipate children’s needs very well. I feel guilty for putting my 2 year old but I didn’t want him to just watch tv all day bc I’m not free to just play with him all day.
As a mother of a child with ADHD I had to unsubscribe😂 ADHD is a BRAIN DISORDER and it can be shown on a brain scan.
Yep! Me too. My mum stayed home and is super nurturing. I stay home and homeschool my kids- super calm environment. They have ADHD. Our brains glitch 😢
Thank you for saying this! ADHD is one of the most researched psychiactric disorders, yet you still have people like this doctor spewing their OPINION about the issue instead of evidence-based research.
It only shows up on a scan after the kid is put on medication
@@Holisticmental Post where you got this info.
So? That doesn’t mean it’s congenital. It doesn’t show up in scans of newborns because it’s acquired.
A lot of grandparents nowadays want to travel or don't want to help with grandchildren. I'm not saying they should be watching grandchildren for hours and hours, but many grandparents aren't willing to help at all, and it creates more stress for parents to find a community for support.
Sending your children at any age to be in someone else’s care is unnatural and will crack their foundation in many ways as seen by the mental illnesses rampant today. Thanks to feminism and the sexual revolution, the entire family suffers and disconnects. Stay home and keeps your kids there with you, even for “school”.
As a person with ADHD, I don’t like the dismissal of ADHD being a “throw away diagnoses”. It is incredibly invalidating for those of us who live with it. I can understand saying there is a misdiagnoses of ADHD due to the emotional difficulties from separation anxiety, but to completely throw away the diagnoses based on a single study is ill advised.
Thank you! Came here to say this as well. If that’s his opinion, ok… however it’s extremely valid and IS A DISORDER even if someone doesn’t wanna accept it. If you’re saying this then you clearly do not have adhd and should really research it. Having adhd is life changing for many. . Please don’t ever repeat (adhd as a throw away term) if anyone is reading this. Especially for the many women who has gone decades misdiagnosed because it WAS NOT TAKEN SERIOUSLY. Be that pillar of strength and hear and try to imagine life with this. Sit and think on it. If you say this to a child it’s going to be incredibly damaging and dismissing af. It will encourage masking and they won’t open up to you. ❤️🩹
I agree as well! Grant it, I did have a rough life but I also been dealing with ADHD way before life went down hill. which tells me it's real.
@@pertinasmith8183 sending love bc it is so real and hard. you are seen and heard! 🥰🙏🏼
I am in full agreement. My mother was a stay at home mother. I did nit doebd a minute in childcare. I have ADHD. So does my son.
1981 Joe Biden is not 2024 Joe Biden.
I was working on the Hill in the 80s. In some ways he’s exactly the same. See T. Reade. Always a creep.
@@rosezingleman5007
I tried to keep it short.
Whoever wrote the words for him are not the same as those who write his words today, or whoever he stole the words from have changed.
I wouldn't be surprised if today's quote weren't stolen words from someone else.
You probably know better than me, we agree he's a creep.
A phony, an empty suit, a glad hander... and on and on and on....
Correct me if I'm wrong but I think he would praise nursery schools and nursing homes and push for expansion and government funding of both these days.
I agree that daycare isn’t the ideal situation for children but it doesn’t cause ADHD.
I think this will be a big topic in a few years as more and more physicians and psychologists dare to speak about it.
That”s such a great video for a single mom, planning to send her baby in a daycare in early September, because she can’t afford a nanny. So, what’s the solution for single moms ?… we have to work to provide for babies… especially those moms who don’t have any families here in the USA (me included).
Nice question i was thinking the same thing my niece go in the at 17 months they learn a lot and they still attached with the family very socialized and calm.
You do what you have to do. My mom did, and I turned out fine daycare, public school and all.
Single mom here too. It's like you have to choose between your kids being neglected emotionally or financially.... but it's not much of a choice because you can't live without financial income. 😢
@@Itsashnicole , there is actually no research evidence to support this claim. The issue is the quality of care that is available to low income families (many who are single moms). We know what works and it isn't only staying at home and not having food or housing! Politician don't want to invest in "women's" work so they shame people instead. Doesn't help.
I have worked in daycares for years and every day it broke my heart to see the impact these daycares would have on these kids and what they would go through as a result of the long hours being left there. I had a class with about 30 kids of the age of 3 and we had a couple kids that would sit there and just cry and cry and fight with each other and you would literally feel like you were in a living nightmare. It was so bad I would actually have to leave the room to go cry and scream in my car just to get through the day and can’t imagine what the kids would feel. And there were two kids that would make it their mission to actually run out the back door into the play yard and would escape around the sides of the building just to get away from that room and they would fight, kick and scream having to be brought back in the room. It broke my heart to see so many of them sitting in a corner crying due to the chaos around them and we as workers could only do so much to make it a peaceful environment too, no matter how hard we tried. It felt like a life size whack a mole game. It was literally all we could do to keep them potty’d and fed and entertained without them hurting themselves. I often felt like a built in bodyguard for these kids just to make sure they didn’t get hurt, never mind nurtured. I am adamantly against daycares if at all possible. Especially the ones that have more than 6 kids per teacher.
More parents need to hear these stories from Daycare workers
What kind of day care puts 30 kids of 3 year olds in one class? Is this real?
In most states this would be called pre school, which takes 3 year olds and to be honest, is a day care! At 3 years old most kids still can’t fully express themselves or control their emotions so with that said, a child shouldn’t be in this situation. I understand there are scenarios where this is the only options, like a single mother and maybe some other life hardships but I believe most times, you really can make it work. We live in a one bedroom with a toddler and a baby in Los Angeles CA. Ideally, my husband and myself would be able to afford a 2 bedroom if I went back to work. But it’s a sacrifice that we choose to do for them, if I get frustrated with their outburst I can’t imagine how someone who isn’t their mom, would feel! Never want to put my babies in that position. Plus we will never get these years back with them and enjoying every milestone is my biggest blessing. With a supportive husband and sacrifices, a family can make decisions together that works best for them. We don’t have 2 car payments, or the latest gadgets, Disneyland passes (since we live 30 min from there) or brand name clothing but I’m sure when I am 60 years old, I will look back and stand proud of our decisions, and not regret what we didn’t have.
In Europe the situation is quite different, in Germany the daycare in my experience is with Ratio of 1carer to 4 children. The care is affordable. My children were happy to be there, sometimes didn't want to leave, we are still friends with our "daycare mother". Our kids dont use screens or have any behavioural issues, they are now 4,5 we spend quality time together when I dont work, do chores or play outside and cuddle and read 1+ h in the evening. It works well for us.
Thank you so much for sharing this crucial information. I fully support your work. The early years are tough but parents must be strong and patient to make it through and continue to be loving, supportive and willing to keep growing as opportunities present, often years later. So never give up and always stay aware so you can keep up!
This is wonderful advice, thanks so much for sharing!
In summary, abandon daycare. If you cannot afford to not work, move to a place where you can afford to not work. You can’t have both you must choose, your material desires or their needs.
This is the best summary I’ve heard on this. I used to be a financial advisor before becoming an elementary school teacher. I’ve also worked in daycares. People say they can’t afford to live on one salary but they totally can, they are not willing to make the sacrifices to do so. They value money and fancy things more than the well being of their children. They don’t get that they can just live below their means. Children are 100% better at home with parents, even until 1st grade id say. Kindergarten should only be part time if used.
Yes we make sacrifices! My fam got rid of our second car, cut back on all extras, and cooked home every day. I’m grateful every day I get to stay home with my babies❤
@@BloodSweatandFearssame here! My wife stays home with the kids but before we did that, we downgraded our home, sold my car (I used public transport before taking a remote only job) and I took an easier job so that I could mentally have energy to assist with the homeschooling after work.
Five years later, it was the best investment my wife and I could have made.
@@JoeCole_social Exactly! It may be a struggle but it’s 100% worth it.
We need to remodel our society to honor this reality of human developmental needs.
My mom didn't start working till I was 10 and honestly I hated it so much. Our home was never the same
Same here. My mom went back to work when I started High School and I hated it. It was awful coming home to an empty home and trying to scavenge something to eat after being at school all day. I loved coming home to my mom when I was younger and having her company and home cooked meals.
I had siblings so we liked being at home when our parents weren’t there😂. We had a supportive family but we knew our parents were working and we came along just fine. So I guess it just depends.
Dr josh is not a psychiatrist...upto you whether you value his opinion. Off of his own website in the about section....." is a doctor of chiropractic, certified doctor of natural medicine and clinical nutritionist with a passion to help people eat healthy and live a healthy lifestyle ".....
I’m a nurse with one child. I didn’t go back to work till he was 10 months old. And I work only 4-6 shifts within 6 weeks and only work on days my husband is home. I seriously can’t imagine sending him away to strangers for 12.5 hours.
I am happiest when I’m home with him than anything else I do.
I've been a in home daycare provider for 28 years. As I've gotten older, my thought process has changed on this and I truly believe a child should be at home with their mother at least for the first year. I no longer take infants in my care. Prefer at least a year old, preferably 18 months old and I've also kept my numbers down. Not running full capacity so that I'm able to provide more quality care for the kids that I have.
I get extremely frustrated with the daycare parents that will not be working yet to bring their children. . I get the common statement " well we're paying for it" like they want to get their money's worth. Never mind the fact. How about you spend time with your child?
Most people are brainwashed to having kids in the western world with all the glamorizations on being pregnant and how happy kids will make you feel. Until they are faced with reality of how hard it is to be with a child.
I never understood why parents put their children in daycare when they aren’t working.
@@Ummkelechibecause it’s exhausting.
I'm also an in-home childcare provider, and my limit is also under the licensing limit, so I can provide greater care for them. I have credentials to care for children who have special needs.
@@Meganmama then don't become a parent if you don't want to put in the work. Nobody said it was easy
Thank you. These things used to be common sense but our culture has flipped everything upside down.
So thankful I’ve been able to stay home with my daughter and niece! I remember being left in the care of others, and they aren’t pleasant memories. I also worked in a daycare and quit rather quickly bc I couldn’t handle the way these people were treating children that don’t belong to them. I understand it’s difficult, but it really is best for kids to be with mom if they can.
I strongly believe the "engineers" of these systems in our societies know very well the consequences of their plans
I like how many times moms and women are mentioned in the video comparing to absent dads 😂
I was a stay at home mom 100% of the time when my kids were little. They were never in daycare, we kept them away from food coloring, I made their baby food from scratch, and breastfed until 14 months. We had a steady schedule, read multiple books a day, two naps a day, and I took them somewhere everyday because my son would essentially climb the wall. We'd go to the park, the zoo, go on long walks. They didn't have screen time. It was wonderful. However, my son has off the charts ADHD. We also put him in counseling when he was 10 to see if it could help my oldest with his behavior. This is NOT the case our lives. Videos like this feel like gaslighting when you've done everything right, and your kid just had ADHD.
I agree with you. I teach and I'd say about 2/3 of the cases of "ADHD" are stress reactions due to unstable home life or traumatic events. The other 1/3 seems to be some genetic issue. Upon meeting the parents I usually see one as having a similar story...tons of energy, struggled in school, got in trouble a lot. But almost everyone of those cases, that parent is well adjusted, mature, usually very successful. Now I see my grandson and he has all the symptoms of ADHD. Apparently my SIL was diagnosed as a boy and he still will occasionally use his meds to help him focus as he's getting an engineering degree. My daughter works part-time and they only send my grandson to preschool two mornings a week and we grandparents help out, too. But I know when he gets to school they'll want to medicate him. What else are teachers supposed to do with several of these kinds of kids in a classroom of 25+?
Agreed
I wouldn’t call it gaslight and I do believe it’s an inherent condition whether learned or genetic.
Maybe a reaction to too many family rules...? No screen time at all? Jeez in this day and age... No wonder your son would climb the wall. IMHO
I think it was mentioned there is real ADHD which is related to the brain. While the rest of it is not actually a disorder. They are talking about that rest of the cases.
This is not shocking. In fact, I'm more shocked that we don't have more messed up kids. Imagine yourself as a toddler being dropped off in the care of people who aren't your biological parents. In addition, you are there fending for yourself everyday against other toddlers.
I love this video! We kept receiving pressure from people saying we should/NEED to put our only child in daycare for socializationand learning and that it woukd be a disservice not too.
In early times, we had to place him in daycare because we both worked, but by age 8 months, we decided to have my husband stay home with him. The change in our son's behavior once he got to stay home was dramatic - he was happier, slept, better, he was so much more well adjusted. We now homeschool and are so grateful to have that opportunity.
We’re in a similar position to you. We have an only child (18 months) and for many reasons have just decided to put her in Montessori 3x per week. She starts next week and we’ll be observing closely. We’re hoping it’ll be fun for her.
First 3 years for sure should be with the parents. We need parental leave for everyone so between the two parents they can care for the child. That’s the socialization they need at that age with adult caretakers.
@@kalasue7 I agree!
@@amyzinger4693 she may have a great time and may love it. Some kids take really well to daycare and prek❤️
@@amyzinger4693 my (now 4 year old) daughter was at a Montessori schools daycare program from 10 months to 3.5. She absolutely loved it and thrived there. The ratio of staff to students was very low and she adored all of them, still talks about them often. We moved in October and I have been home with her (and my 2 year old son) since then. I know I want to stay home but she was so happy and excited going in and excited to come home to tell me and her dad all about her day- I feel guilty sometimes for taking her out!
I have always thought this and it's very evident with the families that we are around on a consistent basis. I appreciate you putting this out there in a loving way. This is one of the most important messages of our time I think. I do hope that more parents can stay home with their children throughout childhood, but in the early years especially.
Surprising Biden said anything cohesive.
You're saying "the mom" a lot, as if it's not down to the dads too... YOU could homeschool your daughter.
Totaly agree it gets soo anoying that he only says moms
People keep making excuses to leave their kids for work. I don’t agree to leave your kids or teenagers. Women need to stay at home if she’s married
Mothers just can’t win….
Mothers can win if they just do what comes naturally and actually mother. Let go of this lie feminism has given us that we have to be “girl bosses” and actually take care of our kids instead of pawning them off
For real. I feel so defeated
Want to date? Would love to be with a man who’s looking at these videos
Yes they can. By staying home and not buying into feminist propaganda
Mothers can absolutely win if we get away from the victim mentality which this comment implies. When you put the children first you win. Society has convinced mothers to get out of the home and “actually do something”. I’m a sahm and it’s hard only because the rest of society is constantly trashing me and making me feel as I should be doing more, I’ve decided not to let that bother me as I knew this was the right choice for my children at least for now.
The idea of preschool is nonsense. Believe me when I tell you that the mother could do anything they do at preschool herself at home much better than they do it at preschool. If the mother is crying when she leaves them there she should listen to that guilt and realize that being separated is not natural or normal. Just because society says it is normal does not mean that is true. Why don't you do some research and find out how old the idea of preschool is. Obviously it hasn't always been around, so it obviously isn't necessary. Also, a nanny is NOT a mother. There is only one person that fulfills the role of mother and that is the mother. The child does not need socialization or a substitute mother. The child needs the mother. Period.
I used to work in daycares and then a private school. The worst daycares are the for-profit ones…the infant rooms in ALL of them were B+ to A+….but babies are easy for many to love. The toddler rooms on the other hand…I saw a worker, arms crossed, knee the back of a toddler’s chair into the table to where she cried. I reported it to the director who didn’t want to believe me. I was too young to know about CPS and this was a long time ago.
But toddler rooms I would visit or work in…the workers were often stressed, kids running around with untied shoes and snotty noses from not being helped.
The three’s room was a little better.
Fours on up were okay.
One thing at most places was I was discouraged from giving any child “too much” one on one time. I was really connecting with this autistic girl once and had my eyes on classroom management, and the lead teacher was unhappy and told me not to do that. I honestly believed she felt guilty because she didn’t connect with her like that and didn’t want to give the one on one time that I was sometimes able to.
Other times, there simply are too few teachers to spend quality time with any particular child.
It’s SO common for gossipy workers to huddle together on a playground talking with each other instead of interacting and supervising the kids well.
The best center was a non-profit where dr’s and nurses kids went. I felt because they were more accountable to these professional parents. But even there-the toddler room wasn’t great. One lead teacher got fired for pinching a baby to “discipline” them….
When your child is too young to tell on abusive caregivers, be very careful where you send your kids!!
Home daycares can be amazing or worse. You never know who is going through a divorce and hiding it or has substance abuse issues (I’ve encountered both).
There are certainly wonderful places and people out there. Just really do your due diligence. Any quality place should have an open door policy for parents or even cameras and an app to check in on your child.
Also, daycares need to give more hugs. I know there is a boundary issue and concern-but if you have concerns about trust and inpropreity, you shouldn’t be sending your child there anyway. I think young kids like toddler on up are STARVING for loving, healthy, physical touch…think how often you hug your own child. And then compare that in your mind to what you think the daycare will be able to provide.
We placed our son in daycare at 2 1/2. He was an only child, so we thought he would benefit from the interaction. We were wrong. He struggled all through school socially and academically. We did not medicate him and did not know about supplements that could help. He survived, we survived but at a cost. Thank you for making this episode. It might help some young, well meaning parents make better choices.
We are there now. Our daughter is 5. She’s very smart but struggling socially and emotionally.
Thank you for this video. I will watch it with my husband and discuss how we can raise our son the best way possible ❤
Thank you so much for bookmarking this, I hope you enjoy! Let us know your thoughts after watching!
Hmmm.... As someone who burns toast every single time, but has very little stress I'd beg to differ on the roots of ADHD. I do agree that stress makes it worse. But, even eliminating my stress doesn't get rid of my ADHD symptoms. Having said that, I do also think that daycare contributes to unhealthy stress levels in children. I saw this in my 5 year old when he went to kindergarten. My pediatrician recommended I homeschool him, which I did, and that fixed his stress issues.
This is making me sad… I’ve been researching ADHD bc my daughter has been having emotional tantrums at daycare and I couldn’t figure out why. She started when she was 1 1/2. I want to be home with her but we can’t afford it… I’m soo torn😢
I feel you. With this economy not every one can afford to be stay at home moms. I wish I could only rely on my husband's salary but he doesn't make enough to cover just rent.
Instead of inplicitly saying that wemen are leaving their Kids in childcare and Kids need to be close to their parents.
Why not ask what can we do about of the work conditions?
If posible leave both parents to do home office interspurst during the week so they can be prsent for their Kids.
Or do do home office half of the work Day?
I bealive that something can be done about it, because not all the famillys can aford to live based on one income any more, so childcare is not leaving anytime soon
I wish there was more communal living. But adult children move away, and kids never get to know grandparents. I chose to stay home. And supplemented with watching my friends kids, while they chased the American dream. I have always thought that your kids are the future. Giving them the best start possible should always be the goal. My daughter has followed suit as she has to work full time. I take her babies when she's at work. Is it hard on her and me as she works 5am-3 pm. But the security that I have seen in her daughter, and soon her baby son!! So worth it!!
Lots of grandparents don’t want to help. “I raised my kids, I’m done” mentality.
Use Wisdom, oh of course!
Fear of the Lord is the
beginning of Wisdom.
Otherwise...everything's broken.
Thank you for the information. This is very educational. Even though I have a middle income firefighter salary, my wife has made the choice to stay home and raise our kids. My kids are worth more than any silver or gold. I would never deprive them of their mother.
I remember my 2 year old in day care, when I picked him up after four hours, he would run to me and would start to break down in tears and this was every time. Later I realized it's his nervous system that relaxed, as he saw his mom. And dropping him off at daycare was tough. He didn't want me to go.
What about Dads being home all day? Instead of Mom.
What a great video! I am a prek teacher…20 4-5 years olds in my classroom….some are at school for 8-11 hours a day, 5 days a week…. Between me and my 2 teachers in my classroom we try our best to stretch our attention to all of the children…. But we have spent more time this school year trying to teach regulation of emotions and social interactions….
I have been in childcare 12 years and it still pulls on my heart strings to see these children with me more than there parents…
Thank you Dr. Axe for this!
This is the best comment I seen thus far.
Would you recommend that going to prek on a part time basis is better?
@nicolewoods1701…I understand everyone’s situation is different (single parents) that don’t always have a choice….but if you do have the means to choose part time…I think that would be great
I just find it odd that fathers seem omiss from this explanation.
No way around it unless we change culturally.
Exactlly!!
Why not ask what can we do about of the work conditions?
If posible let both parents to do home office interspurst during the week so they can be prsent for their Kids.
Or do do home office half of the work Day?
I bealive that something can be done about it, because not all the famillys can aford to live based on one income any more, so childcare is not leaving anytime soon
Yes - daycares are chaotic, and children are often there for 10 hours a day. 10 hours. 7 am - 5pm. 5 days a week. And often sick.
My husband and I have stayed with our son since birth. We work opposite schedules but either one of us is always with him. ❤
I grew up in daycare from infancy to 12 years old, which was the cut off age. My mom worked roughly a 8am-5pm schedule every day. During the summer, I was dropped off at daycare around 7am. Stayed there for 11 hours until 6pm when my mom would be back to pick me up. During the school year, I would be dropped off at daycare, taken to school by daycare, picked up from school by daycare, and then again stay until about 6pm when my mom would be back. This was torture. I did this every day of my life for over 10 years. I was incredibly depressed my entire childhood. My mother had zero family support so staying with family instead of daycare wasn’t an option. She had no other choice. I don’t blame her, but I still resent her. She shouldn’t have had children if she didn’t have a secure, stable family and home. Daycare taught me almost everything. They fed me, taught me to tie my shoes, helped potty train me, helped with homework, took us on field trips to the pool and park and skating rink and museums. They did everything my mother was supposed to do. I never formed any type of lasting bond with my mother. When I was preschool age, I was extremely aggressive and would self harm. I was heavily neglected by my mother and left to rot in a day care with strangers all day every day. Any friends I did make at daycare, would move on because daycare is typically a temporary thing or at least they didn’t spend as much time there as me. So all my friends left. The daycare teachers I became attached to also left because the turnover rate was so high…..I sat in a room full of kids, feeling completely alone, for so many years….it was a nightmare. I wouldn’t ever ever EVER put my hypothetical children through that. I am 30 years old now and the effects of long term daycare still impacts me now. I do not want children, but if I did, I would make damn sure to have a stable home and family before I did.
I’m sorry you had this experience. My mom also didn’t have her life together and I spent my toddler years thankfully with my grandparents. I have a stronger bond today with my grandpa than with my mom because he’s the one who took care of me during those critical years. But then I moved back with her and started daycare and preschool and had long days similar to yours with lots of sickness and this feeling that I was a burden on my mom, who was trying to find a suitable partner and work to support us. I had severe eczema and I realize today that it was my coping mechanism to scratch myself because acting out wasn’t an option. That didn’t stop me from being mean to some of the other kids at daycare though. I can relate to feeling a sense of loss at not getting to develop that bond with your mom. And now there’s really nothing you can do about it because you can’t go back in time :( I hope you would consider having kids though I’ve found it to be a beautiful experience that can heal some of those wounds as well if you let them.
So would you have preferred to be given up for adoption. Just asking because your situation sounds awful and sad and I’m so sorry. Other people are in this situation. Maybe if your mother was warmer and loved on you while you were with her it might have been different? I’m so sorry :(
My firstborn was in daycare from 6 weeks to 2yrs - now we homeschool (he's 8). I stayed at home with the next two children. They breastfed longer than my first. They are healthier and happier. I'm just blessed to have the opportunity to stay with the babies, even when working with one income can be challenging. It's worth it, at the end of the day.
As an elementary school teacher I see children who go to daycare either before or after school or both, to be the ones with the troubling behavioural issues and often even physical health issues….. it’s sad but these are the ways we as a society have gone so much worse off than our ancestors. We’ve traded off emotional stability and wellbeing for technological and mechanical development in the name of progress. Not that I’m critical of development. But the trade off hasn’t served us well as a human race.
Did you guys hear the collective groan of the communists? 😂
As a former middle school counselor, I saw so many things unfold as our children grow up. Thank you Dr. Axe for sharing this.
Former school counselor here too! I left after having my own children. I couldnt shake the feeling that we were trying to fix too many issues in schools that could have been addressed further upstream in the home 😔
@@FlourishAndDwell absolutely! I could write a novel about how our educational system is simply not set-up for our kiddos. From the cafeteria meals to atmosphere to the actual daily schedule. It's a lot.
Is anyone here willing to address the lack of parental leave in the USA and the fact that many grandparents are still working so the resources for parents staying home or using family to raise their children are limited for many families.
Not to mention the low paying wages for daycare workers. If we really valued children’s lives, we would enable the best care in all areas of society for children not just encourage families to eke out a living by having one parent stay home.
Having grown up in daycare from 3 months old to 5th grade, I can attest to the validity of these findings. Thank you for sharing!
I've always wanted to stay at home with my kids. I know that daycare is probably not the best for them. I feel a mix of anger, frustration, guilt, and helplessness because I still work full time and I hate being away from my babies. My husband's income would be enough to sustain the family, but I'm afraid that he and my family will not support me if I decided to quit my job and care for the kids. I feel stuck.
I question this study because daycare is the place where children learn social/emotional abilities. Teachers should be trained in being the social bridge between the child and peers. I've worked with well-adjusted children who spent the majority of their time with their parents. I also worked with children who spent majority of their time with their parents and couldn't handle themselves in a group setting, especially the ones who never experienced a structured environment and played with children their age. Josh, you suggested for parents to shop for daycare that is small and less chaotic. The question of the quality of the childcare needs to be addressed whether if the teachers are promoting a quality "prosocial" environment or simply supervising (sitting back and letting rhe children do whatever). As a caregiver, I make sure I do my part in bonding with the children, help the them with their anxieties, problem-solve with their peers, and help the children bond with each other as much as possible. To suggest that longer time in daycare and higher cases of ADHD is inaccurate,. I've worked with many children (over 15 years) spent majority of their early childhood in daycare and started kindergarten well adjusted.
So you’re saying that your own opinions and experiences trump actual research? 🧐 There’s multiple studies out there that have found similar results. You might want to do some more research.
Another option is for parents to work opposite shifts at least until the last one is in school all day
@@stealthwarrior5768 not sure how a marriage can work well if you don’t see each other at all
We tried that and it led to a near-divorce. We vowed to never do it again.
As a early childhood educator I do agree that shorter days are best, also some children do thrive in childcare and others with different personalities need their parents more. I give hugs and one on one attention as much as I can. Also, in childcare if you have a great educator who does sensory play, cooperative games and asks critical questions then you can say that it is beneficial.
That's what I was wondering. My daughter always loved going to her nursery before she turned 3. She goes to the nursery attached to the school and she asks me to take her to the old nursery even now. She loved the teachers over there, she still wants to call her old friends and she recognizes her teachers if we run into them. I do spend every single minute with her when she's not in the nursery. But I always thought she genuinely loved spending time there and having access to various toys and opportunities to make friends, listen to stories, dance and play. Maybe we got lucky but some dayvlcares have highly trained professionals and they can expose kids to activities that just the mother can't on her own.
@@amitasahasrabudhe6413I have the same experience with my kids. I'm fortunate to be able to stay home with them. They gets lots and lots of mommy time but they love going to our church groups, story times, etc every now and then because they get a different type of play and people around them.
@amitasahasrabudhe6413 I worked in a nursery school, and we were required to spend 1 to 1 time with each child every day and do sensory activities daily. My students loved me and the parents too. However, that was a very expensive private school that had low ratio, mandated one to one daily interactions and highly trained teachers.
Do a video on the VACKS SEEEEEEEEEENS since birth. Those jabs creates alot of problems.
Not enough people talk about the intense feelings the parents feel when dropping off kids at daycare. We started preschool for my oldest when she was 3, almost 4. The first time I dropped her off she clung to my legs, the teachers had to peel her off, the whole thing. That was definitely an emotional experience for everyone, but what I remember most was the feeling of emptiness and uncertainty as I walked back to my car. I had to text another mom for reassurance and she said it brilliantly - it feels like you're leaving a piece of yourself behind and you don't know if you'll get it back. 😢
Almost every parent talks about it while no one talks about the stress the kids goes through. Everyone says it’s more painful for the parent than the child. No it’s not. If you find the right place to send your child and at the right age you wouldn’t feel any pain. You will feel happy that your child is at a happy place and enjoying. I have learnt this from my own experience.
I hate leaving my kid. I hate that women have been suckered into working over their family and now it’s almost impossible to live on one income
Exactly!!
Why not ask what can we do about of the work conditions?
If posible let both parents to do home office interspurst during the week so they can be prsent for their Kids.
Or do do home office half of the work Day?
I bealive that something can be done about it, because not all the famillys can aford to live based on one income any more, so childcare is not leaving anytime soon
Daycare industry has a high staff turnover. Kids make bonds with educators then it’s lost when they leave. It takes time to build relationships with new educators.
Almost didn't click on this video because my 3 yo is in daycare and I work... but this helpful and motivating to try to spend less time on work.
This says something about the system in this country. Most parents don’t have the option to avoid daycare because the maternity/paternity leave is a joke in the US
At the end of the day, just like he said it started in the 70 and 80s, along with the feminist movement. The government wanted to tax more people, and have you kid spend more and more time in government facilties, schools, daycares, pre k
I wanna ask about these studies if they were done with american families? Because my niece who lives in brasil has always been in a day care and preschool because my sister needed to work. She is the most social, sweet , happy little girl. Teachers at the day care in brasil are required to have early childhood degree, and they love kids and love what they are doing, the schools and daycare are amazing. I live in the US and to me was a shock the way they treat kids at an early age here. Basically forcing them to be independent, and so many NO NO, because of LIABILITY issues... My daughter hates going to preschool while my niece loves school so much and ask to go everyday. Could this then be an issue here in America where people do have attachment issue ? I don't know, I just feel like this could be a problem here and not so much in other countries. AND maybe change the way the schools work and start to have teachers who really love children. And here people love more material things and pets than real people.
I would have loved to stay home with my baby, but as a solo parent based in the US I only had 3 months of paid leave. I did end up taking an additional 2 months unpaid and while I am glad I had the time with my baby I am still feeling the financial impact over a year later. I am not in a position to pause my career because I need to provide an income and benefits for my child. We were fortunate to be able to have a nanny until 16 months, due to an irregular healthcare schedule and the cost of a nanny in my area my little started daycare. So far I have managed that they only go 2 day a week but they can be long days.
I hope you support universal healthcare, more comprehensive paid family leave and better childcare subsidies to give parents more options.
Can’t thank these professionals enough for videos like this. These videos really fuelled my decision to be a stay at home mama.
I was thrown off in the first 40 seconds when she says that ADHD is increased by leaving your child under the age of 3. Then her saying ADHD is not a disorder… I was like wait this goes against everything that the medical field says.
Then the guy agreed. I had to look at how the hell he was a Dr and saying that. Ohh he’s a Dr of chiropractic.
That explains why.
If anyone here is looking for information regarding ADHD please look up Dr Russell Barkley on UA-cam.
ADDitude lectures.
I need the data and the sample size to validate the statement. Also there’s a major difference between Anxiety Disorder and the Attention Deficit hyperactivity.
Why does the discussion of attachment and separation pain immediately and ONLY focus on a child's connection to Mom, as if Dad couldn't be the one to stay home. As if the close connection that a child has with dad doesn't need to be close enough that the separation of sending a child to daycare or preschool would be painful, too... Sorry, dad could stay home "part of the day." such "equality"