Marriage Advice from a Divorce Lawyer | Divorce Stories Ep 13

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  • Опубліковано 18 гру 2024

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  • @alexandroheredia
    @alexandroheredia 3 роки тому +24

    1:14 "Choose with your head, not with your heart"... meanwhile the coffee cup.

  • @suneku78
    @suneku78 3 роки тому +45

    Also useful to know: be aware that your wife will change once she becomes a mother. Her body might remain different after delivery (and that is ok), and certainly her mind and her priorities will change once your baby is born. Embrace that for a good amount of the time, in the first couple of years, the kids will come first and will eat up lots of time and affection. Understand your role and share responsibilities, time and love. At the same time make sure that your wife stays alive as a spouse and a lover and does not get sucked into motherhood completely. Another good advice: never talk bad about your spouse in the presence of others. Criticism is a 2 person issue, not a topic for dinner parties.

    • @tonyjones4582
      @tonyjones4582 2 роки тому +1

      Yep do all that...then she divorces

  • @JamminOnThe1
    @JamminOnThe1 2 роки тому +4

    After my divorce I said I need to go with my heart not my head in that, I felt in my first marriage, I felt on paper she’d be a good partner. But something was missing. We didn’t have that deep emotional connection. So I hear what your saying, you need to have a meeting of the minds but you also need to feel like this person is truly in love with you. You have that friendship at the core.

  • @sethbrolsma516
    @sethbrolsma516 3 роки тому +3

    Literal handclap at the "don't be afraid to say no" point. Totally agree.

  • @GabrielMartinez-sd8pc
    @GabrielMartinez-sd8pc 3 роки тому +16

    I would put in that top 10 is "forsake all others". Don't seek needs from other people.

    • @lorenamares1427
      @lorenamares1427 3 роки тому +2

      Great you mentioned it. I’m watching this clip because my ex-boyfriend kept his female friends a bit too close at hand. He didn’t like it when I told him forsaking all others actually is a requisite for buildings trust. I think I lost him with this perspective. What are the odds I’ll find a man who mirrors my views?

    • @thethinkingmansgame5050
      @thethinkingmansgame5050 2 роки тому

      Women don't want the responsibility of dealing with a man's problems

  • @Stolanis
    @Stolanis 3 роки тому +5

    3:47 - My two cents on the point Mr Vetrano brings up here: while it is absolutely a good thing to be considerate of your partner and not say pointlessly inflammatory things, simply shutting up and never letting on that you're upset isn't necessarily the best way to go about it either. I'll admit my experience in relationships is strictly limited, but it seems to me much more constructive, rather than bottling up your anger and having it come back to bite you later, to work out where that anger comes from and talk about *that* instead - with a non-judgmental, constructive attitude. This goes double if it's a frequent recurring issue, as burying your head in the sand is only going to make it worse with time.

  • @andrehb
    @andrehb 3 роки тому +2

    this guy knows what time it is

  • @joecook5689
    @joecook5689 3 роки тому +6

    Pretty brilliant advice. Could be summed up in one phrase: seek to become, not to acquire.

  • @christopherchandler8584
    @christopherchandler8584 3 роки тому +18

    Wow, who would dislike this video?? Great stuff. Thank you

  • @jackieferrarimusic
    @jackieferrarimusic 2 роки тому +2

    These 9 minutes could save a lot of people 9 years.

  • @ahmedmohiuddin2539
    @ahmedmohiuddin2539 3 роки тому +34

    the fact that this guy has on 2 watches tells me that he knows something that I don't

    • @seriekekomo
      @seriekekomo 3 роки тому +1

      What hour it is?

    • @terrancekayton007
      @terrancekayton007 3 роки тому +2

      Different time zones maybe

    • @harmonicabraceforguitar1523
      @harmonicabraceforguitar1523 2 роки тому +1

      He could be a traveling man that covers two time zones or has to make long distant phone calls with business or family. I have made calls to people by accident while they are sleeping at night.

  • @jzhuk4897
    @jzhuk4897 3 роки тому +2

    Very informative! Thank you for sharing the videos like this. This type of information really makes the viewers better!! With respect from subscriber.

  • @mukeshdhotre3161
    @mukeshdhotre3161 3 роки тому +2

    Great video sir 👍 . It's way too useful and indeed for me . Thankyou 🙏

  • @dougn2350
    @dougn2350 3 роки тому +11

    Germany actually proposed a law that made marriage a term contract that expires after 5 years. It could be renewed if both parties agreed.
    Guess who worked hard to defeat that from becoming law?

    • @itech40
      @itech40 2 роки тому +1

      Who worked against it ? Feminists?

    • @mercesletifer47
      @mercesletifer47 2 роки тому

      Divorce Lawyers?

    • @sweetdanielle68
      @sweetdanielle68 Рік тому

      Liberals it would be that way here in the United States but that sounds like a good law

  • @pashaagoes
    @pashaagoes 2 роки тому +1

    Thank you!

  • @brandon9638
    @brandon9638 2 роки тому +2

    Dennis: "Choose with you head not with you heart"
    Coffee mug: ...

  • @frankservant5754
    @frankservant5754 2 роки тому +1

    Great advice, practical and constructive

  • @WanderlustDoc
    @WanderlustDoc 3 роки тому +16

    Its sad that these videos dont get alot of views.

    • @fredrickbenedict6869
      @fredrickbenedict6869 3 роки тому

      𝑶𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒐𝒖𝒕 , 𝒐𝒓 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖.. 𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒎 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅.. 𝑯𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝑳𝒐𝒖𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝑻𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎 +𝟒𝟒 𝟕𝟓𝟐𝟎 𝟔𝟒𝟖𝟎𝟖𝟗

    • @historiqueafricaine
      @historiqueafricaine 2 роки тому

      Not everybody want to learn

  • @fooni7400
    @fooni7400 3 роки тому +2

    Choose with your head, not with your head (or heart)

  • @lourdeshermandez5442
    @lourdeshermandez5442 3 роки тому +1

    Great insight!

  • @isaiahpalmer2529
    @isaiahpalmer2529 2 роки тому

    This is good

  • @crewmatewillthrowthesehand7600
    @crewmatewillthrowthesehand7600 3 роки тому

    me watching this not cos i intend to marry but to see how strong my parent's relationship is now. And its true. checks all the boxes mentioned

  • @mannarmylie4195
    @mannarmylie4195 3 роки тому +3

    Good stuff.

  • @garyolshan4177
    @garyolshan4177 3 роки тому +1

    Good video. But just wondering why you wear two watches

  • @simplyvows
    @simplyvows 2 роки тому +1

    I like what you said about using your brain and not your heart. I've been in a long term relationship for just over two years now I'm 18 my partner is 19 and we both graduated high school last year. My question is when is it too early to be looking out for financial issues and issues related to work? Obviously, we're still young, however, I spend my time working and studying diploma in digital marketing this year, and am studying for a Bachelors degree study next year. My partner didn't get good enough grades to go to university and currently spends her days sitting around doing nothing. It's been 3 months since we've graduated, am I too young to be looking out for these issues and give my partner more time to figure it out, or is this already a red flag because I feel like I'm losing respect for her?

    • @kitakittykat
      @kitakittykat 2 роки тому

      Your still really young. She may still be trying to grow and figure herself out. Meaning what career field she want to engage in and finding her purpose. For some this can take a few years. If she is not actively pursuing trying to get better and she doesn’t mention wanting to do more. Then yes it’s a red flag but you both are incredibly young. Give her time but still be mindful if she doest eventually show interest in wanting more.

    • @jakefarmstate6730
      @jakefarmstate6730 Рік тому

      you're nuts kid. you're too young, it'll never last.

  • @poisonedarrow1968
    @poisonedarrow1968 3 роки тому +1

    great content!

  • @mgtow6683
    @mgtow6683 3 роки тому +18

    Marriage is like a Tornado: "In the beginning there's a lot of blowing and sucking, then you lose your house".

  • @dewaldtfourie4241
    @dewaldtfourie4241 3 роки тому +1

    This guy has two watches on.
    If you want to have a good time you got to have a good watch.

  • @dewaldtfourie4241
    @dewaldtfourie4241 3 роки тому +3

    I will only get married if the girl have enough money for us & our future kids. I would be this unselfish towards my future kids. I won't make my kids suffer in this broken world.

  • @jayrana9787
    @jayrana9787 3 роки тому

    That’s a good 👍

  • @needgardenhelp4037
    @needgardenhelp4037 2 роки тому

    My husband says he hates “liars and sneaky” people. But he doesn’t share everything with me, and doesn’t know what lies by omission means. Either way, he doesn’t work and hasn’t worked in years. Can i leave the marriage and not tell him where I’m going. I dont want to pay him spousal support, he’s a liar and he cheats on me with every waitress at the bars we visit. OR is their CONSEQUENCES for abandoning the relationship? (P.S. we have no joint accounts just a home with a high mortgage- he can’t afford) #Florida

  • @ep1929
    @ep1929 3 роки тому +5

    It's all well and good dishing out the advice, but what happens when one person has given up on the commitment?
    They want out and are already having an affair.
    Your dealing with a situation where you cannot control how the other half feels.

    • @babysab8013
      @babysab8013 3 роки тому +1

      They want out, you let them out. It’s hard but it’s for your good too

    • @fredrickbenedict6869
      @fredrickbenedict6869 3 роки тому

      𝑶𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒐𝒇𝒇 𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒇𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒂𝒇𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒊𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒏'𝒕 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌 𝒐𝒖𝒕 , 𝒐𝒓 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒃𝒍𝒚 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒖𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒊𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒚𝒐𝒖.. 𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒇𝒓𝒆𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝑫𝒎 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒑𝒓𝒐𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒆𝒓 𝒌𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒐 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒌𝒊𝒏𝒅.. 𝑯𝒊𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝑳𝒐𝒖𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝑻𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒂𝒎 +𝟒𝟒 𝟕𝟓𝟐𝟎 𝟔𝟒𝟖𝟎𝟖𝟗

    • @videoabhishek
      @videoabhishek 3 роки тому +2

      That is why his first advice in the video was - choose with your mind, not with your heart.

    • @ep1929
      @ep1929 3 роки тому +1

      @@babysab8013 that's only half the problem, what about they're ambition of stripping the marital assets - could even be assets built by hubby before he met the woman?

    • @reubination
      @reubination 3 роки тому

      @@ep1929 BE WILLING TO SHARE EVERYTHING. if you are not then stay single.

  • @terrancekayton007
    @terrancekayton007 3 роки тому

    What about when someone stops doing the work?

  • @violeteyes5255
    @violeteyes5255 Рік тому

    I'm not even an Attorney and I can give all the men in the U.S. the best advice they'll ever get about marriage. "DON'T GET MARRIED". All the laws here in the U.S. lean in women's favor. Prenups mean nothing when all a woman has to do is find the state that won't accept your prenup and divorce you there. Marriage is 100% an Institution for men, yet so many men voluntarily just walk right in and hand over their lives to a women. Remember this guys, women are extremely indecisive, what makes you think the woman you just married isn't at some point in time going to change her mind about you? Divorce Rate is super high here in the U.S. and 75% of those Divorces are initiated by women. So, what does that mean to you? It means women are throwing away men 3 times more than men are throwing away women. For a man in the U.S. to get married today, it's the Worst Investment he'll ever make and the Biggest Gamble he'll ever take. The second you say the words, "I Do", as a man, you're Doomed. (Don't believe anything I've stated above, read some law, and case law, about marriage here in the U.S., it'll send shivers up your spine).

  • @ironjohn5914
    @ironjohn5914 2 роки тому +1

    Al Capone got Syphilis from this type of lifestyle.

  • @jccashrestha5951
    @jccashrestha5951 3 роки тому +7

    Why are you wearing two watch 😂

  • @d3r3kyasmar
    @d3r3kyasmar 3 роки тому +2

    Divorce lawyers dont like long lasting marriages. Or else they dont have any customers.

  • @modernexistence4206
    @modernexistence4206 2 роки тому

    Why do you wear two watches bro

  • @seriekekomo
    @seriekekomo 3 роки тому +1

    Shit, this video makes me don't wanna get married. So either I bend over backwards to please her or I lose everything in my life? Too high risk, and I've invested in Dogecoin

    • @jd8184
      @jd8184 Рік тому

      So how was that investment now?

  • @thescorpionsy9011
    @thescorpionsy9011 Рік тому

    That's a lot of work to put into a relationship and trust in the HOPES that the other partner is Fair and Won't stab you in the back! So that's a huge expensive bet to take. DON'T EVER GET MARRIED IN THE WEST!

  • @sk3586
    @sk3586 3 роки тому +13

    Good advice. You missed the main point - to avoid divorce - #1 Rule - do not get married.

  • @harmonicabraceforguitar1523
    @harmonicabraceforguitar1523 2 роки тому

    There are no rules for women's behavior. Every since women's liberation she is a government designated tokan victim. This man or any husband is not allowed to give instructions to women. Under the laws and culture of today, the man has no authority. Trying to take authority over spending habits, child rearing, etc. Is called abuse. Women can make all the rules but men cannot. He is no longer allowed to take authority but he is responsible to pay for everything and blamed for any problems. The clergy, neighbors, and court system will not be caught telling her she is wrong because it is not politically correct

  • @milesbennettdyson6667
    @milesbennettdyson6667 3 роки тому +2

    Moral of the story, don’t get married lol. It’s not necessary in 2022. Eventually nobody will get married 👍💪🇺🇸

  • @DoesItTho
    @DoesItTho 3 роки тому +1

    Marriage is a construct. Wear a ring, have your own ceremony but realize this men, it’s absolutely not worth it from a legal, financial or emotional standpoint in today’s society. Because men, in the eyes of society, the woman and the law alike, marriage is definitely not about you now, nor in the future regardless of outcome. Be smart, stay strong, chase excellence. Be a fine wine and don’t worry about the pricey pretty bottle of cream it’ always sours quickly

    • @suneku78
      @suneku78 3 роки тому +1

      Just wondering if you have kids? Once you have kids, this changes everything. There is no more you vs me, there is only "us". Once you have kids, you come to understand that there are more important people in your life. I never understood people saying they would literally die for their kids if put to the test. Now I do understand completely. If you have kids, the family unit dictates everything of importance, as it should. Your finances, your career, your time, your emotions. I can personally say having kids was the best thing that ever happend to me. It has put my life and priorities, my relationships and emotions on the right path. If both partners take their roles seriously, they will not cheat, separate and create great suffering for everybody in exchange for a couple of minutes of fun and pleasure.

    • @DoesItTho
      @DoesItTho 3 роки тому

      @@suneku78 thats great news sir, I’m glad to hear you’re beating the odds that are not ones I chose to engage. I’ve chosen to be actively in charge of my own livelihood, happiness and finances. Additionally, I’ve actively chosen to not have children and I can appreciate that you have chosen the path of children. May your family continue on the path of integrity, tolerance, respect, happiness and health.

    • @suneku78
      @suneku78 3 роки тому

      @@DoesItTho Thanks Phil. Much appreciated indeed. All the power to you.