This is Why You're Afraid to be Independent
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- Опубліковано 22 тра 2023
- Full video - • Dr. K Talks Weed
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Full video - ua-cam.com/video/WdM8r6R3FfM/v-deo.html
Hey I just wanted to say the subtitiles are blocked by the subscribe and UA-cam name raising the subtitle text a little higher can help (on mobiles on desktop it seems fine)
I love that you're not only linking to the full video but also to the exact point in the video that got me interested enough to seek full material. Of course, I ended up watching the full video. You're videos are helping me understand my brain and how my ADHD plays a role in my behavior. I was quite recently, in my mid-30s, diagnosed with ADHD and your talks explain so much of my past. Thank you.
Not sure why but unable to click the link nor is it selectable to be able to copy it to clipboard.
Can you guys please make the video links clickable for those on mobile? There’s no way to copy and paste the link either. Thank you so much!
videos title is dr.k talks weed
When I moved out of my parents place, I remember I had an existential crisis for months because I kept thinking about the layoffs and COVID and all the BS going on. Fuck man, I'm thankful I have that choice to go back to my parents so I can only imagine and feel for people that don't have that.
It was hard, I was lucky or rather I survived long enough to find the light at the end of the abyss-like tunnel and came through.
I've been truly homeless and it gave me a completely different world view on things.
When you've been at the bottom you can understand why there are so many other people at the bottom and you also start to hear the cries of foul play from above, pointing below.
It's super easy to blame everything on people less fortunate than yourself though.
I feel guilty man. I can't even afford my folks rent. I have a degree. I'm employed, but technically between jobs.
And I feel. So. Bad. Cause. My mom is greatful for me. Tells me to stop calling myself a f*ck up, even when I struggle to do the basics.
Man. If I had the resources, I'd give that to everyone.
I get super frustrated that I struggle to support those who support me. Never mind so many others in my life. I would if I could. I really. Hate feeling so helpless in all this. I resent how our system treats me. Treats us. And yet. I'm so so so so so so so so damn lucky.
I wish I could actually affect change rather than just. Talk about it. But. It ain't easy to do. Smarter folks than me have tried.
@Rexhunterj
And it's so much harder to blame the folks who actually have control. Those above us. Cause they can squash us.
The fact Elon may remain a billionaire after all he did to twitter? Trump still running for president? Supreme court judges being bought off by billionaries? No one can crush them.
@@stoodmuffinpersonal3144 one person simply can't make that much of a change by themselves, despite what popular fiction and stories have told us.
I 100% get it, I've fallen into the same trap of feeling like I *should* be able to do something/change something completely on my own, but sometimes it's just not possible. And that's not a bad thing, don't feel afraid to let others help you where possible and definitely don't feel discouraged by other individuals being unable to create meaningful change - as humans, we have so, so many other people that can and will help create that change, so just start small with something you can do easily in your local community. Maybe that'll encourage others to join in, which could turn into a snowball of change that ends up reaching way further than any individual could have. 🙃
"Security is the foundation of mental health." That smacked me in the face...
I feel like it's really kind of obvious yet denied by so many people, especially by some mental health professionals.
It's also confusing when you're in a place with no support network and actively looking for people you could trust, bond with and ask for help. If you get overwhelmed by your circumstances and get into depression or despair, people you consider to be your closest friends at the time might just tell you to "get help" meaning you should see a mental health professional.
When you then get to a psychologist or psychiatrist and tell them about all of your problems, being honest about financial struggles and not having a secure place to live in, they will tell you to "not be afraid to ask for help" and that it's perfectly normal to ask others for help" and that "no one can do everything on their own" and "everyone needs to rely on someone for support" and so on...
But then you tell them that you already asked people for help and they told you to "seek professional help", so there is no other help and then you'll probably just get the answer that your psychologist is not responsible for your physical circumstances or financial situation, so they coudn't possibly help you with that, they "can only help you with your depression", but your crappy physical and social environment and your financial struggles are very reason causing your depression, anxiety and hopelessness, so how would they help you with your depression then?
These are the conventional options:
1. Keep comming back every week to just talk about your problems without getting any suggestions how to solve anything until you are completely drained out of money to pay for "the therapy".
2. Start taking pills that will mess with your biology and might be addictive. The y could give you a small short-term boost of energy, focus or numb out your emotions to the point where the crippling anxiety or depression doesn't block you completely from functioning, but they can also make those experiences worse or give you lots of additional side-effects leaving you comepletely unable to function even compered to your low functioning depressive state. You can experience tremors, memory loss, heart palpitations, restlessness, digestive issues, inability to focus or comprehend what's going on around you, constant sleepiness or many other fun "side effects" which can make your risk-benefit analysis of this potential "help" almost entirely irrational, but you will still be told that this is what you are supposed to do.
3. Sign yourself off to a psych ward, where you will be stripped of all your boundaries and personal autonomy, treated in a dismissive and patronising way by the staff and somehow expected to "heal", even though you didn't have any opportunity to practise setting any boundaries and holding them, you didn't have much opportunity to socialise in a healthy way and create a safety network for your life on the "outside", you certainly didn't have any opportunity to solve any of your previous outside problems and the hostpital treatment may have left you feeling less respected, valued or confident in your ability to solve real life problems rather than helping you improve on those very necessary life-skills
It seems to be a vicious cycle if you don't have the support of loving people or a financial buffer to begin with.
@@Seamannon if what Dr K said is true, talkinf about your problems may actually be helpful.
Cut to Ronald McDonald Regan turning out all of California's mental health patients onto the streets; a death sentence for many...
@@5uperM It's not always true.
That really depends on who you are talking to about your problems, what kind of feedback they are able or willing to give you and it also depends on the nature of your problems, the resources available to you and your level of self-awareness and critical thinking patterns.
Many problems require action instead of awareness and the obvious path forward is sometimes blocked by a lack of reasources and a complex web of intertwined issues that need to be addressed all at once.
Imagine you have a broken arm. Talking to someone about your broken arm won't help you with your problem. You know that you require more practical help and you know that there are medical interventions and meds available to heal your arm and ease your recovery, but you don't have the money to afford going to the hospital or even visiting a doctor. You know you would have to first earn the money to afford treatment, but you can't earn the money if your injury hinders your ability to work and the only work that was available in your area was physical labor. You don't have anyone you could rely on for help, no family or friends who would be willing or able to help you with your injury or making money, no other financial aid or credit is available to you. You still do your best to ask around for help, you are rejected by strangers, because there aren't many random people you could ask on the streets for help, that would actually help you. You ask all the people you know in any way for help and they don't just avoid or reject you, they make things worse by dismissing your problem entirely and maybe even gaslighting you that your arm isn't broken at all, that you just made that up to evoke pity or to scam them somehow. You feel heartbroken by their judgements and unhelpfull attitude, you're in awful pain, your arm swells up and gets infected leaving you with a fever, the people closest to you added salt to the injury in the form of unnecessary mental and emotional pain. You feel like you're out of options, you ruminate over the situation and spiral into hopelessness and a feverish delirium where you strat to doubt yourself and consider the possibility that other people were right and you're not injured, that you are only lazy just as they told you. You try to completely deny your injury and start to move your arm as if it wasn't broken, trying to do all your previous physical activities, doing your best to overcome your pain, because other people convinced you that your injury is made up and they were the majority of people you know, so who are you to counter their assessment? You're alone and no one believes you, so the problem must be just in your head as they say, maybe you've gone mad? Obviously all of this would mess your arm up even more, people are not supposed to move a broken arm like nothig happened, but you can't address the physical symptom if your environment convinced you that you're insane. So you think that you should probably seek mental help, but you still have no money for therapy, neither mental nor physical, because that was your initial problem. Somewhere you are able to find an info about free mental consutations, so you would have one chance to talk about your problem, but no way to get any more than that because everything else would require money that you currently don't have. You can tell the specialist about your unsupportive and invalidating environment, about your financial struggles, about feeling hopeless and unable to continue working like before. You can tell them about your pain and that people called you delusional for it, but you can't help it, you're still in pain, even if you start to believe that it may be irrational and so on...
How is talking supposed to help you in this case? If you need a broken arm to be put back together properly and you also need some meds for the infection, talking about your needs won't help much when you're not able to meet those needs on your own and you are stuck in a very negative environment.
@@Seamannonjesus, that hit me so bad.
It is one of the realest thing I've read.
So what should be a solution.
I was kicked out at 14. Made it (barely) on my own. Just turned 28, and moved back in with my mother after a decade of working on our relationship. I have not felt this relaxed in over a decade. Just knowing I have a roof and am not going to starve has provided a level of relaxation I didn't think was possible before.
Ah, hello there, all the other way on the spectrum, nice to meet you
... 😂😭🥴
Hah, and to say people usually do YOGA to find relaxation !
believ ein jesus christ youll go to heaven. then read his word. itll bring u guys so much peace and realaxation
Ayo, from a fellow human, to write something this personal and be met with bot messages is really some dystopian shit...but just glad I read your comment and can relate, and that you're doin' better with your mom... I may still be an AI tho...
Wow, I'm 15 and couldn't even imagine that happen to me
Congrats on surviving you're so cool for battling that shit bro :0
I heard the term "shit life syndrome" a few years ago and i thought it was a great way of summing up why a bit of positive thinking and journalling just doesn't work for a lot of people 😐
I think the solution is gratitude
Nah, we just have a a lot of stuff preventing success including multiple systematic discriminations, active discrimination, invisible disabilities that we're only just finding out about and not having any sort of security in terms of financial, housing, or food etc.
Being positive and forcing it is also a type of "shoving the bad under the rug" and internalization of emotions that just results in more trauma.
@@Onthe9thlife3730like reading off a script
If you’re like me, you may have ended up in the unfortunate circumstance where nobody instilled the lesson of independence and taking control of your own life into, and because of that it’s not a case of being afraid of independence, but rather the inability to do so.
Let me tell you something right here: being independent is difficult, but having to teach yourself _how_ to be independent makes it ten times harder.
Well said. It's taken me a long time to learn, too.
How would the lesson of independence be taught?
@@ThalanoxHow a lot of things are taught through modeling and giving them chances to learn lessons on Independence by giving them chores and things to make themselves independent.
@@Thalanoxparents teach it to kids by allowing them to make decisions and fail.
Some misinterpret that as being cold and not being there to help them or intentionally setting them up for failure and that's not it either. Offering guidance and assistance where adult size or dexterity are required is still needed, but for example if you have a kid wanting to learn how to make scrambled eggs and you warn them to get all the shell pieces out when cracking the egg but they don't.... Don't step in, let them cook and eat it to find out WHY you don't want shell in it. Make it a learning experience.
Staying with food, let them make their own lunch at "young" ages and let them make choices. You can have a basket of things they can make lunch with, and they might make weird choices like a peanut butter and fruit roll up sandwich but if it's in the basket it's fair game.
Teach them to wash towels or something hard to mess up. They don't need to be responsible for the whole house's laundry but a 7 year old can hunt down all the used towels in the house and get them washed. Towel Treasure Hunt!
Yeah there's times you might have to rewash but they'll learn surprisingly fast.
@@SvayaG FELT! You cannot do that with helicopter/sabotaging/submarine/sealteam6 parents 😂 making mistakes and then being emotionally abandoned is spiritual death sentence.
Fucking felt this. Been paying bills since I got a job at 16 and always tried my hardest to be truly independent because my parents couldn't properly support me. My dad lived off government assistance and my mom was in and out of rehab and jail constantly. I made one fuck up at the age of 21 and wound up homeless, sleeping in my car in a parking lot for 2 weeks. Being independent is fucking terrifying because in the end there's nobody to blame but yourself when everything goes wrong and the crushing weight of that is immense and unforgiving.
For once someone that acknowledges how life is. Genuinely has made it a bit easier to not want to go disappear
I genuinely think a huge reason for the exploding mental health crisis is due to wealth inequality. The foundation of mental health is security, specifically financial security, as said in this video. And it's being wiped out left and right by sociopathic billionaires, parasitic landlords, and ruthless corporations.
My therapist and I can't talk our way out of my impending homelessness or food insecurity. Especially when therapy is so goddamn expensive in the first place.
The US needs healthcare for all, affordable housing, LIVING wages, and a social safety net. I GUARANTEE so many mental health problems would be improved.
Yup, exactly this.
Our world is based on greed and not love
"affordable housing, LIVING wages" - that's exactly what Romania lacks too! Ironically, some people go in US in the hope that they will find it there! LOL
@@krox477Pure facts.
This is so freaking true! How can people possibly work on their mental health if they don't have their basic needs met? The manufactured cultural obsession with being on your own as far as meeting your needs is ludicrous. Humans are meant to have a level of autonomy, but not total independence from all society and all other humans. The 1% came up with this notion so that they didn't have to pay for anything other than minuscule wadges and then blame poor people when they are struggling. It is way past time for universal health care in the U.S.
This slapped me upside the head. Best therapist of my life was only able to help me by letting me get it all out once a week. Doesnt mean she was able to change the external factors that had me desperate for help
I've been on my own since 17, turning 30 this year. My mother was a drug addict and my father dipped when I was 11. Family is all criminals and drug addicts. Moved halfway across the country with a friend, their family kicked me to the curb within 3 months.
Since that day I've never relied on another person to provide security or assurance. I've definitely had some helpful hands along the way, but learning to do well on your own is an invaluable experience. My biggest issue at this point in my life is finding friends and potential partners that I feel have their ethics and values in line with my own. I don't NEED that in my life, but I want it.
The worst thing you can do when you're forced into independence is to do nothing. Even if you try your best and do everything wrong, you've still learned what not to do.
When thrown into the rapids, you have to swim if you want to survive. Doing nothing might simply mean drowning or floating and thrown about just anywhere the flow takes you.
As a child neglect enjoyer, I've become extremely independent in a specific way and also extremely dependent in other ways. Ive done a lot of work to negate my dependency issues but hyper independence is in some ways worse. We need people to rely on when things go to shit and if we dont have that reliably we cant move forward. Have sympathy and empathy and compassion for yourselves if your struggling.
Something tells me you might also be an average anxious-avoidant attachment style enjoyer, respectfully 🤝
Child neglect enjoyer
Idk why but that sounds funny💀
@@MK10280 ohhhh yeaahh fearful avoidant flavor 🥶 ngl most of my anxious tendencies are gone via therapy but the avoidant ones are still there and i literally just keep running from therapist 🤷♀️ silly me. I respect that you feel seen and I understand you too lol
Yoooo we got abusive and neglectful parents and it is awful. We feel incapable of doing basic things to be independent because we were never taught and never felt safe enough to learn, but we're extremely hypervigilant and overachievers in other ways. I'm terrified like all the time
I lost my entire support system/family about a year ago and I've had to become almost fully independent. It was a constant fight. But now I'm more capable because of it
That’s the problem, even if you get help, getting “down time” to do so is almost impossible
My brother in law tells people how I’ve lived a very “sheltered” life and was never “thrown to the wolves”. Yet, he never knew me before I started receiving psychiatric treatment.
Funny how being peaceful around some folks somehow means you've lived a sheltered life. Bruh, y'all don't know what it took to get here 😂
Sometimes, it isn't a decision but a survival necessity. Considering I was forced into it because of unfortunate circumstances, I would like to say it turned out kinda ok.
Hello, independent person here.
Not by choice ever really, just my reality.
Thank you for saying therapy isn't going to help with daily necessities.
Honestly, in my experience therapists and a lot of other professionals don't know what to do with me BECAUSE I'm independent.
I'm extremely proactive so the majority of resources and suggestions they make I'm already using or already tried.
I've found people in general don't really like dealing with independent people because we know what we need and ask for that directly and aren't really willing to settle for much less.
In my personal experience I tend to shut down, get quiet and focus when I'm going through things without much warning because talking doesn't help and people (in general) don't like this either.
They'll say, "why didn't you come to me" or "I'm here for you anytime" until you actually need them and you realize they just want to be nosy. Or eventually see you as a burden and blame you for everything you're going through. At some point there is no safe place to land. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't.
I want help and would love to stop being so independent, but that takes others really making a commitment to be there and actively involved.
I can't force or control that.
All I can do is continue to be independent and proactive while hoping some day things will be different for the better.
This is what I've discussed with countless people in my life. If taking the steps to "better myself' and 'improve my mental health' would cause my suicidal thoughts to worsen, I'm not going to do that thing.
If survival is all I can muster, I'm not going to jeopardize it by failing at doing more.
Used to tell my therapist that our sessions were like a picnic under a hornets nest, trying to pretend its possible to enjoy yourself when you know it wont last.
I used to have that “safety net” if I wanted to be independent, but now I have to be as my mum is currently in hospital and I need to take responsibility, otherwise, I’ll suffer the consequences of not becoming independent. There is some days where it’s extremely hard, but if you can, find family members that can help and guide you. I wouldn’t have survived if I didn’t have family who looked out for me, so don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. You’ll thank yourself later.
Sometimes I don’t even realize the fact that I have been blessed with an awesome supportive family and needing help and remembering there are those who are willing to help is HUGE
💚
This is not talked about enough. Thank you for bringing this up
Yeah, that's basically me. I've been getting bodied by life since I entered the workforce in 2004. Every step forward is negated by two steps back. Whenever I've tried to become independent, I've been set back by the decisions of others.
Losing jobs in spite of my best effort. Losing relationships for things I can't change. Losing shelter because nobody is there for me when I need it most.
I've sacrificed everything for my career and to have some degree of stability, and I have nothing to show for it.
Love the new angle Dr. K has been taking in a few videos acknowledging his teachings and therapy alone aren’t heal-all solutions. It really validates the reality of growth, which is slow moving and not ALWAYS in our control. Through this healthier POV we can be compassionate and understanding with ourselves to enjoy the now, despite what we aspire to change. ❤❤
YES! This is exactly it! When everything is going bad but nothing is in your control and you can't change it or do anything about it because if you do back out then your life goes to ruins. I don't think people realize what it's like to be forced into something bc of your situation and not be able to change it... Like everyone always has a solution but sometimes the harag truth is there is really no solution and you just kind of have to deal with that, like you can try do little things to help or cope with it but in the end sometimes it's just what you have to do to survive. Like straight as soon as I turned 18 I was pretty much forced into work bc of my family's financial situation but it wasn't something I even liked or wanted to do and I didn't get a chance to even think about what job I wanted to do but I had to or we'd end up homeless unable to pay rent.
That's me right now lol. In my last year of university. I've been having a lot of doubts atm and it's making me real depresso :v
Please don’t give up y’all
Got a close friend who was exiled by there family, ex Jehovah Witness, there Is no safety net for them,no place to fall back on, have always done what I could to offer that safe place for them
...god I am SO lucky that my JW dad sort of gets it, because his parents nearly disowned him for becoming a JW in the first place. So, like... sure, I've otherwise lost all the people I had any sort of relationship with, but my dad's always supported me.
I needed to hear that being in my mid twenties, being so scared, lost and confused starting my first job and having almost none of the emotional (I have the financial support, but not without complaining a lot of the times) support from my family. This way, it's physically painful to transit into an adult. I suspect tha I have an ADHD that got overlooked in childhood. I suffer from the anxiety and depression since I was a kid.
This definitely helps me understand why I was the way I was after I left home at 18. Leaving wasn't as scary as staying, though.
Yes exactly! thank you for putting it so concisely and empathetically!
Yes! I'm very independent and feel I MUST be self sufficient because no one and nothing out there is going to help without exacting the price of denying my human dignity.
But my health does not allow me to work the number of hours or type of job that will support me. And so I feel a constant under thread of existential survival fear.
And I don't know which is worse, the fear of the not enough to live on funds disappearing completely that a large part of the population thinks I should just go ahead and die because if I can't work a job bringing in enough money to have extra for others and not take from any kind of assistance I'm just not a human being.
I also know a person who isn't 100% able to defeat all foes, if I have any weakness or vulnerability many predatory institutions will view me as a tasty little rabbit just existing go on their dinner plate. So there's a lot of fight or flight just running through my head.
The homesickness for the first week was almost unbearable. Luckily I had friends who moved to the same city who I could hang out with to ease some of it.
Im currently living with my father. Due to injuries I cant work normally like for 7 years now. Still 23 years old.
Having no money safety net, being mentally and physically deprived of all the things normal people have or can aquire is depressing at least.
But never surrender my friends.
After 7 years my injuries (Knee, Hip, Lower back) start to heal (with the right training) so I hope to be able to live like a normal human soon.
I can’t believe the number of times that Dr K’s video/shorts show up at the EXACT time I’m having issues about said problem in the video. You’re incredible ❤
At least he admits he lived life on easy mode
I've been part of the unhoused population/homeless community for about a decade plus some other earlier exposure, have mostly formally worked in healthcare/done a lot of informal healthcare aid work and resource navigation for my unhoused peers, avidly study public health and consider myself to be essentially a public health worker now in my informal/liaison-like way (aiming for med school next I hope), and my main locus/the intersection of my niches is the impact on health outcomes of trust and communication between clinicians/the medical "system" and patients in what I call "chronic trauma populations" (I have no idea if this terminology is used by anyone else, I hope it is) -- and out of chronic trauma populations, I center my study and advocacy specifically on the unhoused, people with mental illness (particularly substance dependency), criminal offenders, and (for lack of a more scientific term) the Angry Young Men group/phenomenon.
Point is,
1. I LOVE this short SOOOO MUCH, SO VERY VERY MUCH, PREEEEEACH
and
2. I would give a LOT to get to have a conversation with Dr. K about chronic trauma populations and public health and the shifting paradigms in medicine as it relates to trauma and these groups. I would give a LOT a lot. I wonder if there's any way to apply for it or something. It would seem I need to look into that.
Yeah, everyone needs the basics, it’s a shame when those who have them blame those who don’t have them for not having any 😅
Hierarchy of needs. You can't effectively work on your mental health if you have a chaotic life without security. For a healthy mind, you need the basics in place...reliable housing, income, food, warmth and people who love you.
Shout out to the OG Maslow and the Hierarchy of needs. There probably better up to date theories but Maslow was thr foundation for how i learned biopsychospcial in uni
This is great content thank you.
Security and foundation literally is your mental "foundation" upon which you build on through therapy or even researching and understanding your own personal psychology. When I was struggling with homelessness, everyday when I would wake up but before I opened my eyes, I would ask myself the same question "where are you right now" bc I bounced around from place to place and I never knew the answer until I opened my eyes. It severely impacted the obvious but more so impacted who I thought I was I did not know who I was and I draw the connection of my homelessness (and all the struggles that snowball from that) and my lost sense of self. And I tried to self soothe through researching psychology and honestly that's one of the things that really provided some sort of peace, and clarity for why i was feeling so depressed and why my memory was so absent for regular normal shit. Its incredible the power of the mind, for good and for bad. I now feel the need to be the person I needed and never had for people going through any sort of struggle ( well ones that I actually have some sort of knowledge on I don't believe in leading people astray just to feel like "I'm doing a good thing" ) I hope by the end of my life I have genuinely made a difference for lost confused stressed souls. We all need that 1 person, even if you are that person for yourself.
What was the quote from a therapist a couple of years ago? "The only thing that's going to help most of my patients is a couple thousand dollars in their bank account" or something like that
You know what - I still love this channel but this particular king is missing an imperative : good parents . I realized I jump right to my 20s with independence . But it started at youth, till it started boiling to “a realizing , unequivocal knowing “ at 14 yrs old. A tenacity that did not leave until my son entered life .
I was independent bc my parents not only beat me physically with a belt of o got a 96 instead of 100, the words hurt more. So at 14 , my “independent %ss” , decided to get the fck out of there.”
And also save 3 sisters from being beaten.
So not exactly independent .
This is allllll about perspective tho.
It’s just - nothing is absolute .
I’m sure more common than realized tho- which would be the REAL priviledge!?
Not to get in anyone’s nerves but honestly it just takes a step further in realizing.
Thank you for this!
That safety net has always been non-existent for me, which is why when my metal health took a leap off the deep end I ended up homeless for several years.
Great finding!
I struggle with this so much im so scared for my life. Soon im gonna be alone and have no one and im not prepared at all so i really need to get ready before thet happens. My mental is all fucked up becuase i dont feel like im prepared for any of this and certainly the challenges of today werent present 20 years ago so its new and life is scary. At least i have time right now and unless a catastrophe happens then i have at least a few years to grt on the right path and figure this independence thing out.
I didn't necessarily choose to be independent, nobody wanted me
i feel like giving up. i don't even have the energy to put in the work to keep afloat.
You know what's the easiest way to build that safety net to help your mental state to live happy? 💰 money 🤑
Damn… I got so mad when I moved back to my parents place in Hong Kong and the AC doesn’t work, not realising I’m on the safety net after going broke in the UK… Now I feel bad for slamming stuff just cuz I’m hot…
Very fascinating to realize… love this channel.
This is a slippery slope too cause if you become...*too* independent then you can start to stop asking for help when you actually need it.
You are real and I am going through a severe depression. Thank you for your posts.
"Security is the foundation of mental healt"
This is what privileged people don't seem able to understand. This is what bad self-help gurus abuse and misconstruct. This is what inequality truly means: lacking the means to achieve choice is not a nuisance. It is a life lasting wound in your soul.
This is definitely a road block for me and revolves around doing everything myself and not wanting to rely on others. Trying to push ahead in life to help others on a new career path but constantly blocked by the fear of leaving my job security bubble and safety after all my hard work to get there…
Help others and rely and be greatful to any help that may appear in your path
many of us may not have a safety net, but we don't need to make it harder for us and everyone else, try to be and do good
Super precious guy, perspective is critically giving consistently 🎉
Ever since I can remember, I was struggling with my mental health...
With finances and work, I sometimes made nice money and went "bankrupt" so many times, I can't even remember - I kind of consider it one of my symptoms. I can confirm one thing - every time I am broke my mental health gets SO MUCH WORSE!
I had a shit job that abused my work ethic, friends you could call “bad influences”, a trailer home as a rental, a roommate doing everything she can to make my life miserable, constant finance worries through my poor choices trying to learn new financial paths.
And now my elderly mom has made me move in with her and start my own business and I now understand a deeper meaning of suicidal and I’m closer to the cliff than I’ve ever been. I have no control over my life, every hour of the day is being dictated by my mom and I can’t leave because that would just hurt her quality of life. I have no physical freedom and no mental or emotional freedom now. I would instantly go back to “being in a worse position” if I could… this is hell 😢
Thats why I support change in government and policies to facilitate basic housing and income for everyone& at least policies for better social netting. Its a difficult thing to confront when you go to therapy or start learning clinical techniques that there are such big limitations to the kind of care you can provide. I was on the road to become a psychologist but I became unwell so i see it from both sides. Im likely not going to pursue the PhD anymore, but i know there's other things that help people greatly like peer support and hooking people up to social service resources that can be equally, if not more life changing.
Found therapy to be a lot of buzzwords and phrases, vague concepts, the assumption that you're confident and secure enough in yourself to talk about yourself. Therapy, talking to people, etc has never worked for me. People are inherently untrustworthy as it is, so whats the point in making yourself even more vulnerable; when you're only going to be made fun of anyway. 🤷🏾♂️
a decent therapist isn't going to insult you. I think you have trust issues.
You can try journaling cause the journal ain't gonna talk back
Therapy is great, but the people that need it most are the ones that can't afford it.
Funny thing is, I just go right in LMAO
I think video games and university have taught me a lot about independence without me realizing
When my immediate family passed away, yes all of them, I was left with no choice but to be independent... That doesn't make it any less difficult to go through life.
This clip is from: Dr. K Talks Weed, streamed live in April 19 2023
"Security is the foundation of mental health"
Yeah, man, it's hard. I won't say I don't have a 'safety net' but said net is more like a rope with rusted bolts bow tied on each end. I've finally got a place to stay for myself but I don't really know what to do at the moment. Mind you, I'm 20, with a dad who hates me and a mom who tries, but i don't want it because she really needs to work on herself. On top of that, as an older brother, it hurts when I can't even help my little siblings with simple life problems. But welp, this is just me venting.
Until next time.
money isn't everything but it does make a lot of problems just go away.
I haven't felt like I've got any sort of safety net in almost a decade and a half. It is constantly in the back of my mind, and I know it's one of the reasons for the decline of my mental health, at least for a while. It's been better lately. But oh man, this hits the nail on the head.
I followed a therapist advice and quit my job. I couldn't blame her, but it was an idea she suggested. I was the one who followed through
Safety net is 100% what scares me about independence. I feel like I'll die
Thanks for being honest about the limitations of therapy.
Heartbreaking, I need a hope.
It’s so important to make that distinction about privilege. Too many people with that privilege assume everyone around them has access to the same privilege. And even then, there’s those kids who already know that none of those “risks” they’re supposedly taking with their lives actually matter because really all they’re doing is waiting for their millionaire parents to die. True risk, when you’re actually risking everything, takes GUTS
Therapist is good to get rid of the inner things that aren't good for you, where you sabotage yourself.
I feel like there will never be true security for this life bruh
ive gone to many different doctors and psychs, ive noticed such a big difference between the younger and older ones. i had a hard time find a psych i could connect with and the person being understanding....same with a doctor. my doctor and psych actually know each other very perssonally.
this is the first time with my psychj i was able to be honest with my doctors and they didnt change up on me with how they treated me. the older generation psychs and many doctors are so out of touch. things like he said there is a big deal
You forgot it costs and not cheap especially if you dnt have a lot of money
Affordable rent or housing is so basic for security
Spot on.
God, you're fucking brilliant.
Thank you
This guy is literally describing my life.
"bodied left and right by material circumstances"
Can't agree more. Some people don't have healthy relationship with money
I want to be independent. I just cant get a good job because “muh experience”
I removed my safty net. It held me back. I'm much happier now. But there are alot resistance in me.
Respect 💛
I’m pretty content knowing I could live in a tent, have the knowledge to probably survive. At least I know I wouldn’t be completely helpless if I wasn’t financially secure with a house. And I’d be happy, even if it’s for 2 weeks before I die of starvation
Security as in;
Financial stability
Housing stability
Reliable relationships
Health
Fighting/defender abilities
This is why believing in God, praying for your blessings and more answers/protection is important :)
New logo 🔥
Im homeless and poor and traumatized and yeah its shit and i dont have security and stuff.
I didnt understand this til i was in the military and met people from such bad homes that even though they hated it they would stay in.
So I never chose to be independent. I had to be independent growing up I have lived on my own from 15. I never had anyone to rely on so therefore I had to be independent. Sometimes it’s not a choice
damn, I feel luckier for what I have each and every day.
Thank you.
What about if you're afraid to be dependent
Therapy doesnt help with most of those because its so fricken expensive.
And this is why some variation of democratic socialism is foundational to a society's mental health, and why we are experiencing mass psychosis within capitalist societies.
finally, someone said it!
Finding a therapist digs the whole deeper because of how expensive they are LMAO