Grief Expert: The Key to Overcoming Life’s Hardest Moments (With David Kessler)

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  • Опубліковано 27 гру 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 132

  • @CdnEnjoyLife
    @CdnEnjoyLife Місяць тому +54

    Dr. John.... you are so underrated! You have helped me immensely for FREE! I love that you take real calls from real people. Thank you

    • @Mysterious_Moon
      @Mysterious_Moon Місяць тому +3

      This^^ I’ve leveled up in understanding ❤

  • @suzanne296
    @suzanne296 Місяць тому +59

    So appropriate for me today as the tears are like a river. My gal friend since 1980 died unexpected ly and I just found out last night. Holy crap.

    • @reneeantwi-boasiako3974
      @reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Місяць тому +7

      @suzanne296 oh my goodness. I'm so terribly sorry. I pray for grace and peace 🙏🏿❤️

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +5

      My condolences for your loss. ♥️🙏
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer

    • @justme8255
      @justme8255 Місяць тому +4

      I’m so very sorry for your loss.

    • @snakeroseharp
      @snakeroseharp Місяць тому +3

      I'm so sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers for peace your way. ❤

    • @citigirlcountrified1927
      @citigirlcountrified1927 Місяць тому

      Did she take the jab?

  • @TPeack21
    @TPeack21 Місяць тому +18

    I lost my 20 yr old daughter 13 yrs ago in a tragic accident. It was devastating. But man. The blessings and perspective that I have received as a direct result of her loss have been incredible. As much as I miss her, I wouldn’t want to give the perspective and blessings back. I know where she is. I will see her again. But the only way we have made it through the incredibly hard loss is due to our faith in God and in the Savior.

  • @beancheese3148
    @beancheese3148 Місяць тому +5

    “I think they have to be allowed to deny [being brought to reality] for a while.” 12:49
    Wow. How beautiful. We often don’t give others the time and space that we would need if we were in their shoes. I’m saving this video for that line.

  • @RiaGirl54
    @RiaGirl54 28 днів тому +3

    "Denial paces the pain." It's so true.

    • @lisapulieri8587
      @lisapulieri8587 23 дні тому +1

      I grabbed a notepad and wrote that down. I did that about 3 seconds before he said he wrote it down on a notepad as well

  • @jerryc1620
    @jerryc1620 Місяць тому +15

    So so SO grateful two have my two favorites together like this. David Kessler, to me, is the "Mr. Rogers of Grief", and his books and resources have been instrumental in helping me, and so many others, along in my grief walk. Losing my 15 year old on Isaac to suicide last year, at 15 years old, was devastating. And, it is survivable with support, faith, therapy, and living one breath at a time. Fly high, ISAAC!

    • @reneeantwi-boasiako3974
      @reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Місяць тому +1

      @jerryc1620 I'm so sorry 🙏🏿 ❤ I pray for continued peace and grace

    • @greatlakespulse
      @greatlakespulse Місяць тому +1

      Condolences. Much love through your journey of healing. 💙 I hope you think of him with a smile on your face.

  • @karenhultgren7810
    @karenhultgren7810 Місяць тому +5

    My Mom died in 2022 and it gutted me. A few months after her passing I found David Kessler. He has helped me so much. Thank you for having him on your show. Love your show, John!

    • @junng6848
      @junng6848 Місяць тому +1

      Sorry for your loss! My dad died on October 9th 2022

    • @karenhultgren7810
      @karenhultgren7810 Місяць тому +1

      @ thank you. Sorry for your loss.

    • @junng6848
      @junng6848 Місяць тому

      @@karenhultgren7810 thank you!

  • @jill8777
    @jill8777 Місяць тому +3

    Grief comes in so many forms. I grieved my sister’s deaths, mom, extended family and friends. Those losses are final. I also grieved losing my marriage, moving from friends, losing a career, my confidence was crushed. I couldn’t move. That’s where Jesus met me. He was and is all I needed. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s tolerable.

  • @ericahilton1504
    @ericahilton1504 Місяць тому +8

    Thank you so much for this
    My two 17&18 year old sons lost their dad brutally and unexpectedly in a tragic car accident two years ago on 12-8 😢
    Your platform has been so helpful in guiding me to guide them as best I can as their mom

    • @reneeantwi-boasiako3974
      @reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Місяць тому

      @ericahilton1504 I'm so sorry 🙏🏿❤️ I wish you and your family all the best

  • @TJaneTS
    @TJaneTS Місяць тому +9

    Thanks for bringing David Kessler on the podcast. I learned a few things and I can’t wait to listen to part 2 and read his book.

  • @Mimi-Mimi668
    @Mimi-Mimi668 Місяць тому +2

    During the hardest time of my life in 2020 a social worker suggested Davids books to me and I've read them all a few times since, very helpful. So glad to see him on this show

  • @reneeantwi-boasiako3974
    @reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Місяць тому +11

    @10:01-10:18 "Freedom is only found in reality...reality always wins"

    • @reneeantwi-boasiako3974
      @reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Місяць тому

      This reminds me of how people are doing everything they can to stop/reverse ageing, and living forever

  • @Mysterious_Moon
    @Mysterious_Moon Місяць тому +2

    I think is your best interview yet. It shows how much Dr John respects and honors Dr Kessler. Glad there’s a part 2!!!! You both have a killer, symbiotic flow in convo.

  • @rosamoreno4794
    @rosamoreno4794 Місяць тому +9

    I am reading David’s book now, Finding Meaning The 6th Stage of Grief. I am on Chapter # 11. 👍🏻 The books stories will make you cry.

    • @bmcmasters
      @bmcmasters Місяць тому

      He just released a workbook that goes with the book. It's a good tool.

  • @ACurlyLlama
    @ACurlyLlama Місяць тому +5

    Absolutely love David Kessler. His work has been deeply impactful and meaningful to my life. I am so happy to see him on different podcasts!

  • @barbarajean7208
    @barbarajean7208 23 дні тому

    Oh my goodness. Never have I ever thought to bring my inner child along for the good times. Thank you!

  • @charity_catahoulas
    @charity_catahoulas Місяць тому +2

    Really needed to hear this this morning! Didn't think I was dealing with grief until listening. And this hit me hard for some reason "Until you can find it, I'll hold it for you. I have hope for you." Thank you for this show this morning! ❤

  • @carmenchapa1
    @carmenchapa1 Місяць тому +5

    This was quality stuff!!!
    I can't stand Dave Ramsey, but I really, really like John.
    He did such a great job with not interrupting. As a fellow interrupting person, kudos to you, Delony! Bravo!

  • @paulholschuh6113
    @paulholschuh6113 Місяць тому +2

    Communication is not easy.
    This is artful communication.
    Excellent listening skills gents.

  • @reneeantwi-boasiako3974
    @reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Місяць тому +15

    @10:52-12:42 this section where they are discussing being "strong" made me feel really seen and understood 🥹I don't want to be strong. Can I just be? 😭

    • @brittmarl3y
      @brittmarl3y Місяць тому +2

      Same! 🙇🏽‍♀️💜

    • @SuperPrincessNancy
      @SuperPrincessNancy Місяць тому +2

      I hate the phrase "be strong". Why? Why should be strong when my child died? Why can't I be a puddle on the ground. Others should be strong for you to hold you up in your grief!

    • @reneeantwi-boasiako3974
      @reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Місяць тому +1

      ​@@SuperPrincessNancy absolutely thisss ❤

  • @paulholschuh6113
    @paulholschuh6113 Місяць тому +1

    At 53:50 and following
    …”I want to remind you of your greatness and see your pain”…
    I hear what David is saying.
    I have been there. When you are feeling hopeless and can’t see past personal pain
    (failures/regrets)
    it is crucial to have someone remind you that you “are more than that.”
    My grandfather used to say to my loved one experiencing turmoil,
    “this too shall pass.”

  • @bmcmasters
    @bmcmasters Місяць тому

    What a great interview! I've been studying under David Kessler for the last year and he has so much wisdom to share. I love when John said, "This is graduate school for me."

  • @sharonbland9061
    @sharonbland9061 Місяць тому +1

    I have lost 3 close members of my family within 6 months, time frame. First my brother in August 2023 from Cancer, my niece, in October 2023 aged 46, from Cancer, and finally my mum in January 2024.
    I am finding all this grief overwhelming at times.
    To cope, I have mentally put my grief in a box, and put this box high on a shelf, so I don't have to deal with all the hurt and pain. If I talk about them, I find I just cry.
    My daughter tells me that this is not dealing with it, but in away it is my way of dealing with it.
    Obviously, though, it's not really, as I get very emotional very quickly.
    I think of them everyday, I miss their voices at the end of the phone, their love, their laughter, our times together.
    I want to be able to think of them, without crying.

    • @SuperPrincessNancy
      @SuperPrincessNancy Місяць тому

      You are very new into the grief journey. The first year is hard, the second year is worse, and by the third year you can start to really deal with it. You WILL be able to think of them again without crying - you will instead smile remembering them. It won't be easy, but you will get there. The Compassionate Friends is a support group for parents who have lost a child, but some groups also have sibling groups. It is okay to cry - in fact it is GOOD to cry. Great pain, means you had great love.

  • @joyjolt44
    @joyjolt44 Місяць тому +6

    Wow. I have to say this is the most touching interview I've listened to in a long time. Thank you for hosting and sharing Dr John. So many beautiful one-liners that instantly made me cry lol. I will do my best to take all of these morsels of wisdom with me. I believe we will all need it in the coming few years. Thank you!

  • @mramirez410
    @mramirez410 Місяць тому +4

    Rebuilding after Hurricane Helene in WNC, this couldn’t have come at a better time for me.

  • @Shoopes74
    @Shoopes74 Місяць тому +6

    Trust your brain, it knows what it’s doing to protect you and allow the feelings bit by bit as you’re ready to process it. Each phase has its purpose and jut do what’s right in front of you, don’t plan things, don’t take care of other’s needs, just give yourself that grace to just be where you’re at.

  • @Shoopes74
    @Shoopes74 Місяць тому +12

    My husband died at 46 and his mother turned on me after… blaming me for his death. The complex trauma from the way things went after he passed has left me in a state of numbness that I don’t want to break out of. But I know I have to

    • @reneeantwi-boasiako3974
      @reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Місяць тому +3

      @Shoopes74 I'm so sorry. Please know it wasn't your fault. I pray your joy returns 🙏🏿 ❤

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому +4

      Sending you the light. 🙏🌞♥️
      Complex PTSD From Surviving To Thriving by Pete Walker
      The Hoffman Process by John and Julie Gottman
      The Untethered Soul by Michael Singer
      The Body Keeps The Score Brain Mind And The Healing Of Trauma by Bessel Van Der Kolk
      Self Love To Self Healing -Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️
      Take Back Your Life Own It! Sam Vaknin podcast ♥️

    • @jesusthewaytruthandlight7558
      @jesusthewaytruthandlight7558 Місяць тому +3

      You don’t deserve that selfishness from her shame on her she not your tribe ❤

    • @Shoopes74
      @Shoopes74 Місяць тому

      @@jesusthewaytruthandlight7558 thank you. It took me a while to realize we weren’t on the same team. I had to go no contact. Best decision I’ve made.

    • @Shoopes74
      @Shoopes74 Місяць тому +3

      @@reneeantwi-boasiako3974 thx. I was his advocate, fought for him for years through the illness. I think she just has the thought running that “if she had been in charge he would still be here.” But there’s no way that would have helped.

  • @garysturgissurvivinggrief
    @garysturgissurvivinggrief Місяць тому +1

    Great interview. David is such a knowledgeable man when it comes to grief and loss. The world is so fortunate to have him sharing what he knows about the grieving process. Thank you David and thank you John for what you do as well!

  • @hercalmmind
    @hercalmmind Місяць тому +4

    I'm always judged for feeling grief for my kids being born with a genetic disorder causing intellectual disability. They judge because they tell me "You can't be sad because they are alive and living" To me, it's like a loss of the kids I dreamed of that were healthy and would grow up to be functioning adults in the world. It is a great grief.

  • @elansing3095
    @elansing3095 Місяць тому +5

    Great guest...this is so timely and important! Thanks John and David.

  • @Immunity7
    @Immunity7 26 днів тому

    This is brilliant. If we could take into what is said here into every fiber of our being we would be a healed nation. This is over the top good. Thank you for this.

  • @teresajune11
    @teresajune11 Місяць тому

    so true , my husband left me and my young son . my elderly mum said the exact thing you will have to be strong . that’s all i will ever remember …😢

  • @graceevelynlucas8671
    @graceevelynlucas8671 Місяць тому +1

    FINALLY! I've been waiting and waiting for a video from YOU on the topic of grief. ..thank you, Dr John

  • @ThomasandGabriel
    @ThomasandGabriel Місяць тому +2

    Each of your videos are amazing I love watching them all they really get me thru my whole day

  • @stephaniejensen4596
    @stephaniejensen4596 Місяць тому +1

    David Kessler was an excellent guest. Great episode!

  • @nurshark10
    @nurshark10 Місяць тому +1

    Awesome show!!! Listening to this guy is so eye opening and inspiring. Can’t wait for part two!!! Thanks for sharing this.

  • @muma6559
    @muma6559 Місяць тому +3

    "freedom is only found in reality"

  • @MusiicRoolz
    @MusiicRoolz Місяць тому

    this is such a great talk and i’m really grateful you got together to record this for everyone to hear!
    i am also someone who is able to take in a lot and remain balanced. i think it’s because i’m naturally aware. you look from a wide perspective and honestly, no matter what happens the world will keep going on as it has for billions of years before this - before you.

    • @MusiicRoolz
      @MusiicRoolz Місяць тому

      it’s absolutely not fine, but also everything is fine. seriously, everything is fine lol

  • @cindymc716
    @cindymc716 Місяць тому

    This is incredible. I took SO many notes.

  • @daniellecasse5124
    @daniellecasse5124 Місяць тому

    This was absolutely AMAZING, I can’t wait for part two😭

  • @LZed-g4k
    @LZed-g4k Місяць тому +1

    So appreciate the video.
    Cheers to both of you.
    ✌️👏👏✌️
    Giving back.
    Thank you 😊

  • @harleycullinan7287
    @harleycullinan7287 Місяць тому

    Face your emotions or they will follow you
    When someone looks at an emotion wheel and finds many things they are feeling it’s because they haven’t sat with them and fully felt them like insecurities and feeling abused or feeling disrespected once you face the emotion and find out the truth you will have the choice to put it down and keep carrying it with you
    I took this from what he was saying and think it will be helpful

  • @mikestix88
    @mikestix88 Місяць тому

    Dr. John this was so good I shared it to my whole family and also to my church life group!

  • @debrafinley8364
    @debrafinley8364 Місяць тому

    Freedom is only found in reality!!!! Reality is only found in the truth!!!! Facing truth can be so so difficult for us and so extremely painful but so incredibly necessary.

  • @ralphpussilano
    @ralphpussilano Місяць тому +1

    Dr. John, my wife passed away on August 11th 2024, we were married for 50 years and I feel like I have been cut down the middle by a buzz saw. I cry profusely every day and night but I do feel some relief after crying. How I wish I could join her in heaven. 💔💔

  • @reneeantwi-boasiako3974
    @reneeantwi-boasiako3974 Місяць тому +3

    @13:26 I had the same reaction as Dr John 😅

  • @AnnAndNala
    @AnnAndNala Місяць тому +1

    Thank you.🦋

  • @msdixieblues
    @msdixieblues Місяць тому

    David Kessler is the best grief expert.

  • @SunnySunShine175
    @SunnySunShine175 Місяць тому

    This year has been horrible for my family, my grandmother and father in law passed within 30 days of each other. After my father in laws funeral my husband of 18 years walked out and filed for a divorce. That was 7 months ago and I'm still trying to work thru the grieving.

  • @TiktokFAFO
    @TiktokFAFO Місяць тому +1

    If I let go... it's really gone. It's hard to let go. Or feel like you're allowed to let go.

  • @Redblue3-z9k
    @Redblue3-z9k Місяць тому +2

    Great job 👏

  • @coleoh2010
    @coleoh2010 Місяць тому +3

    If you're up early enough watching this, there's probably a reason for it. Something draw me to it

  • @coleoh2010
    @coleoh2010 Місяць тому +1

    I was told I love others to hard l. Not myself

    • @SherriFlemming
      @SherriFlemming Місяць тому

      Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It by Kamal Ravikant ♥️

  • @venturewithcraig8535
    @venturewithcraig8535 Місяць тому +3

    Can you speak on the effects of the election results on mental health.
    I’m sure you have seen the videos of people
    Loosing it

    • @doreen3763
      @doreen3763 Місяць тому +2

      Your fear, media, hyjacked your physique.
      One nation under god..

    • @flashthecorgi2053
      @flashthecorgi2053 Місяць тому +3

      Dr. John might speak on it later but these shows are delayed meaning this particular show was probably filmed about a month ago. They do this because Delony is not always available to do live shows due to his traveling/live events schedule.

    • @venturewithcraig8535
      @venturewithcraig8535 Місяць тому

      @@doreen3763 I think it’s beer that hijacked my physique.

  • @TopG47206
    @TopG47206 Місяць тому

    Why are feelings necessary to be felt? Doing the journal/reflections from building the non-anxuoys life has me wrestling with the functionality of reflecting and trying to label emotions. Someone can say something that stings initially but we can choose to understand that their response is about them and their needs. They say yes to themselves, not nevessarily no to you. There should be a way to get intellectual knowledge to the body by passing emotions

  • @IbrahimKone-ix4qi
    @IbrahimKone-ix4qi Місяць тому +1

    !!I just switched up my Roth IRA to 50% SCHD, 25% SCHX, 25% SCHG, and my Roth 401k is 70% vanguard S&P 500 index, 20% vanguard growth index, and 10% vanguard international index. Seeking best possible ways to grow $350k into $2m+ before retirement

    • @JoseLopez-lf9rw
      @JoseLopez-lf9rw Місяць тому

      As a newbie investor, it’s essential for you to have a mentor to keep you accountable.
      Kristine Lynn Weber is my trade analyst, she has guided me to identify key market trends, pinpointed strategic entry points, and provided risk assessments, ensuring my trades decisions align with market dynamics for optimal returns.

    • @YevaSonia
      @YevaSonia Місяць тому

      I managed to grow a nest egg of around 120k to over a Million. I'm especially grateful to Adviser Kristine Lynn Weber, for her expertise and exposure to different areas of the market.

    • @JoseLopez-lf9rw
      @JoseLopez-lf9rw Місяць тому

      I don't really blame people who panic. Lack of
      information can be a big hurdle. I've been
      making more than $200k passively by just
      investing through an advisor, and I don't have
      to do much work. Inflation or no inflation, my
      finances remain secure. So I really don't blame
      people who panic.

    • @YevaSonia
      @YevaSonia Місяць тому

      Without a doubt! Kristine Lynn Weber is a trader who goes above and beyond. she has an exceptional skill for analyzing market movements and spotting profitable opportunities. Her strategies are meticulously crafted on thorough research and years of practical experience.

    • @IbrahimKone-ix4qi
      @IbrahimKone-ix4qi Місяць тому

      how would you recommend i enter the crypto market? I am also looking at studying some traders and copying their strategy rather than investing myself and losing money emotionally. What's your take on this approach? and How can i reach her, if you don't mind me asking?

  • @lizescalante3375
    @lizescalante3375 Місяць тому +2

    I’m not special, and I know many parents have suffered through this … but no one will share or listen or dare to re-live the horrors of that day. Tackle this John.. na you won’t

    • @VioletEmerald
      @VioletEmerald Місяць тому

      Can you be more specific. I feel a little confused about your point. It's true most people treat the horrors with a 10 foot pole and are afraid to sit with someone who needs to process it. But there are people who will listen!

  • @Brucefulness
    @Brucefulness Місяць тому +2

    Ok please don't take this as a troll. Constructive only. I find a lot of value in these interviews John does. But, John's mic needs to be muted when the guest is giving an answer. He does this grunting agreement sound after every single phrase the guest utters. It is so distracting I can't hear anything but that.

    • @flashthecorgi2053
      @flashthecorgi2053 Місяць тому +7

      I don’t hear that all. In fact, I think that would be wholly unproductive because Dr. John adds to the conversation in the middle when David Kessler was talking. There were specific points he wanted to highlight and I LOVED that he double clicked on that and didn’t just let it go. This whole interview was AMAZING!!!

    • @VioletEmerald
      @VioletEmerald Місяць тому +3

      I love his little active listening sounds! It's powerful and so real.

    • @christinetorres8075
      @christinetorres8075 9 днів тому

      Do you have misophonia?

  • @Wendy1973-wl5lr
    @Wendy1973-wl5lr Місяць тому

    I know you guys mean well but this was not helpful at all. Some of it was almost insulting. Some of it made me feel guilty, like I didn't choose joy. It's not that simple.

    • @flashthecorgi2053
      @flashthecorgi2053 Місяць тому +2

      I would suggest you watch again then because if that’s what you took away from this convo then you weren’t listening or taking notes like Dr. John said. This conversation was amazing and truly hopeful! ❤
      Maybe be curious with yourself on WHY this conversation made YOU feel guilty because I think there is something deeper there!

    • @VioletEmerald
      @VioletEmerald Місяць тому +1

      This was such a good interview. It's sad to me that it makes you feel so bad about yourself that you can't see how beautiful the messages are.

  • @zachwarren280
    @zachwarren280 Місяць тому +12

    Give us Jerry Springer... Not these "experts".

    • @DoctorJoanieTool
      @DoctorJoanieTool Місяць тому +14

      I know David Kessler and he is both an expert and a truly amazing, wise, kind human being.

    • @Indy__isnt_it
      @Indy__isnt_it Місяць тому +14

      ​@@DoctorJoanieTooland Doctor John Deloney has 2 PHD's to his name and years of practice at this. What are your credentials to judge their intelligence? Please

    • @shelleypatterson7224
      @shelleypatterson7224 Місяць тому +10

      You don’t have to watch it. There’s a grace, and almost a feeling of freedom, in seeing something that you don’t like and going on past it.

    • @Christine-dz6wh
      @Christine-dz6wh Місяць тому +7

      Hey hey hey leave Jerry outta this.

    • @AnnAndNala
      @AnnAndNala Місяць тому +5

      There's this thing called "pushing the next" button. Instead of spewing some negative garbage about something you don't like, and thinking your opinion is universal fact, you can discern that it's not for you and move on. Because those of us who are choosing to stay and watch and enjoy this content find it valuable, interesting and quite helpful. So move-on Zach Warren, and know that your discernment to move-on does not require including your spewing some silly garbage in the comment section. 🦋

  • @Johanna-tz9mg
    @Johanna-tz9mg Місяць тому

    What sh

  • @Chihuahuauno1
    @Chihuahuauno1 29 днів тому +1

    26:11 AMEN BROTHER, AMEN🙏🏼

  • @Chihuahuauno1
    @Chihuahuauno1 29 днів тому

    33:54 OMFG, THIS IS ME, to a TEE🙏🏼❤️