@@meta5743 you are correct, but more specifically as long as you meet the required amount of witnesses you are fine. But, it's not recommended for the rest to not know about it in most cases. Here is a better response: m.ua-cam.com/video/eAQA5cseDm4/v-deo.html
0:00:00| Writing best selling books 0:04:04| The purposes of polygny today 0:09:17| When desire is the main reason 0:16:43| Polygyny isn't easy for everyone 0:18:30| 2nd wife waiving her rights 0:22:27| Mentality of an older single woman 0:24:55| Why women are against polygyny 0:30:40| Secret wives 0:32:44| Only Misyar if you can be grateful 0:37:40| Sisters don't want to settle today 0:44:10| Risks of Misyar 0:50:44| When women may prefer polygny. 0:56:15| Parents misleading their daughters 1:00:20| Narcacistic and selfish women. 1:04:50| Settling goes both ways 1:11:40| Dont disrespect halal Nikah 1:19:50| Preparing next gen for marriage 1:30:20| As Salaamu Alaykum Perhaps this may help someone inshaAllah.
_May Allah bless your work. Mahdi should recognize your efforts! You really deserve a 5star golden reward. You are helping a lot of busy viewers_ بارك الله فيك
I don't like Mehdi's inclination to prefer no strings marriage over polygamy. In fact, and with reference to the red pill movement, an alpha male should only be in a public polygamous relationship. If you cannot handle two women in a full polygamous relationship, then you aren't worthy of a no strings marriage. A no strings marriage feels something for the betas, the weak, and unambitious males; not for Muslim men!
As someone very smart here wrote: If polygamy is so “natural” how come Allah created eve for adam and not eve, sara, fatima etc? Why do women feel so heart broken then if its natural for us to share a man?
If it wasn't natural prophet Mohamed pbuh wouldn't have multiple wives, it's also in the Qu'r an Allah allowed it, as Muslims we hear and obey not question what Allah made lawful.
@JodJod Swarthy Princess Israelite Loves TyTy you know what's nonsense? You calling the Bible the 'injeel'. Not single learned Muslim will call the Bible the injeel. So stupid that you tried to translate it like that.
I am not Muslim, and I spent my life up to age 37 thinking I didn't want kids, didn't like kids, I also thought I couldn't have kids and was happy about that. At 37 I shockingly got pregnant, I was super upset and distressed, I even thought about a abortion. But the hormones to protect my unborn kicked it in about 48 hrs flat. I'm a older mother and that's hard all by itself. My biggest takeaway is I have something REAL to live for! I get to watch a tiny human grow, and how much she loves me is inconceivable. When I grow old I will never be alone, I get to raise her to love animals and be compassionate
You still could be alone. Having children doesn’t keep one from being alone… neither does marriage. Instead, keep genuine friendships and close family relationships. That’s the only thing that is truly going to keep you from being alone. Children become adults and they have their own responsibilities and relationships outside of their parents.
@@Academiacaramelcurlz she'll be with me till I'm 56, and when she's grown and out on her own, I'm sure she'll share with me her life's adventures. I've personally seen how family's crumble (when I was a kid, and watching mu sisters family), I CANT imagine anything that could possibly happen that I would let fracture the relationship with my daughter, that bond is to sacred. I don't talk to my mother for very real reasons, my nieces don't talk to their mother cause she threw a tantrum and stopped talking to them when they no longer wanted to live with her. I get that's a hard pill to swallow, for her, but those are her kids, and I can't imagine going that route in any way, shape, or form. I have my husband, friends, and family....but they will never be my child
@@pythonpatrolexotics that’s a nice way to think of it… but you can’t determine how many years you get with your children. You just can’t. They could marry early or anything else could happen. I think it’s healthy to not depend on your children for that level of comfort but instead, look to your husband and family. The children can feel that added pressure and sometimes it can drive them away sooner. I’m just saying…. Think about that
@@Academiacaramelcurlz ok I know this is a assumption but I feel like you may never have felt the bond of creating a life and nourishing that life with your own life source?
I don’t agree with her on many things, but I respect her for being intelligent and rational. I have no problem with debates if it’s between 2 respectful people.
59:55 We (both men and women) must appreciate housewives!! My mom, my paternal and maternal grandmothers they've all been housewives but most of the housewives are disrespected, unloved and unhappy and warned with divorce! Thats why ppl have adapted the concept of gaining respect and dignity through career. But where does that lead us? NOWHERE Only for men, career is a respectable achievement because they earn, they feed, they clothe their families, fulfilling their role and responsibility, whilst women playing her role and fulfilling her responsibility whether its being a mother, being a housewife, a cook, she is seen as inferior and is undervalued. What does a woman do? Women belong in the kitchen! Etc etc When a woman is traditional and submissive, she is constantly reminded of being inferior and nothing without a man than being respected for playing her role. While a man is appreciated and praised for doing his part of the job
Subscribes to you after seeing your talk with Brother Hijab. It takes a real mu'min and a real man to admit to his faults an correct them publicly. Mashallah brother you truly earned my respect and the respects of many others. I haven't watched this video yet cause im trying to binge watch ur older content, but i'll come back to this video soon in sha Allah.
As a practicing Muslim who grew up in a solid Muslim majority environment before emigrating as a young man to the USA, I can confidently say the following: The luckiest men are those whose first wife actually recommends that the husband take a second wife, and who even suggests for him the candidate that she already loves and trusts and has thoroughly vetted, and whom she actually wants to see her husband marry and take care of. You can see this sometimes among two women who are inseparable best friends or kinswomen, who love and trust each other, and if one of them is having trouble finding a good, kind, caring husband, the first wife might recommend that her husband marry her best friend or kinswoman as his second wife, so that the latter isn’t condemned to permanent spinsterhood. I’ve seen this scenario before, and those marriages are some of the happiest and most solid that I’ve ever seen.
thats so rare. Its a womens natural reaction to be against it because of intense jealousy. That jealousy exists within every women even with the wives of the prophet.
@@Hamza-iq6gw : Someone has to have the balls to come here and spread Islam in person, rather than criticize others from behind a screen and keyboard. Spot the envy.
@@samy7013 spreading Islam is done just by practicing it. And 99 procent of converts convert for love reasons. There is always 'somebody' if you dig on the life of those so called convert.
@@samy7013 it is way more difficult to be a muslim in kufristan than in a muslim country don't know what you looking for in united snakes... Next time leave the 'im a practicing muslim and my imaan is over 9000' part out of your stories. There is no dawa today there is marketing and rebranding of Islam. Fake sheikh's lying about Islam to make it appealing for capitalists. Age of aicha is such a matter.
You're using the phrase 'put my foot on the throat' with your wife? And then saying 'ik she's LAUGHING'? Are these really the 'men' of today? This guy speaks like his opinion is relevant. It is NOT, if you are not a student of Islam your opinion on marriage in Islam is IRRELEVANT. This so called man has no respect for women. You can tell by the language he uses. Surprised to know he's married.
Ya, I’m a submissive type of woman who likes strong male leaders, but this language shouts “unsafe, abusive insecurity” to me rather than “I’m a dominant male safe for you to follow.” He still is young and has work to do. Too influenced by non-Muslim culture.
In biblical days, men used to marry more than one woman to save her from slavery or prostitution. And in those times, God allowed it. Because it was of a pure intention. these days, people's traditions and values change, and there's more sin in the world. So you have to wonder, is it for selfish reasons, or is it to make a person's life better like it was intended to.
i hope the uk goverment look into this/and make sure it is not allowed in the uk and that children and families do not get help from taxpayers/and that men pay child support to the wives who are victim of secret wives
Im ashamed of Muslim men who are cowards on this topic. Women do not dictate terms to us. A man should have as many wives and concubines as he can afford. A Muslimah who dictates what her husband is allowed to do, is an insult to the honor of all Muslims. Imagine how weak our ummah would be if the women were in control.
I believe in poliginy being good but scared of sexual deseases/infections. I know cases of sisters who went in virgin into poliginy and got a sexual desease. And Allah knows best. Some brothers are not careful about this, some sisters also do not cafe enough about their bodies... SubhanAllah, so that is the only thing which makes me scared and disgusted. May Allah strengthen us. Ameen
Well simply put, this example I am giving, and it is a true example, is about a brother "high value man" as believed by this brother, he is owner of a chain of shopping malls back in my country, he is from a different ethnicity anyways, he has got is 4 wifes but often renews just because he can " money buys all" so he marries with sisters or new sisters for the reasons Allah knows best, this women may not be sought after their spirituality and chastity therefore underling issues which are not addressed and little cared for. So this new, revert sister , virgin, believed to be the best option and was told about this brother, now she is divorced as well and with a sexual transmitted desease. And in Allah we seek refuge...
This guy married 2-3-4 times, prefers concubines, and has the guts about making comments about other woman's character. Look at your own character. Its filthy and dirty.
You guys should definitely make another video that is only about what marriage is and unrealistic expactations caused by Hollywood and Disney movies in a marriage.
Lol it has nothing to do with Hollywood or Disney. People are living like for centuries if not forever. It’s the most normal thing ever. Just because the Arabs liked and apparently still like having multiple wives, doesn’t mean everyone else in the world have to adopt their barbaric way of life
The reason so many polygynous marriages have problems is because the good brothers, who can afford and manage multiple wives , avoid it, do to all the negativity created by the current social political norms of today. This leads all the access of women having to settle with unworthy men because they don’t have any other choice, a self full filling prophecy. We should promote and encourage polygyny in our society because it will not only improve women’s lives but also the society at large. If all productive and high value men take on multiple wives, there will be shortage of women, which will create a higher value and demand for them. Now women will not have to settle, rather she would have greater control over who she marries. This will also get all the deadbeat unproductive men having no choice but to become more productive and responsible in order just find a single women. When men in a society become productive and responsible, the society will flourish. There are so many benefit of polygyny that multiple books can be written on this subject alone. In conclusion, Women benefits more from polygyny and societies are uplifted do to it’s implementation.
It's not just about "affording". Men today are in general low quality. Even the ones who are earning a few more bucks. They won't retain their wives. Most of them even if they get to marry multiple times.
@@alghurraba divorce is halal so is polygyny. If a women has a problem with god given right and is unhappy then why stay in that relationship. She could go mary someone who will give up his and other women’s right for satisfy her desires. Remember at least 3 women benefits from polygyny even if the first one have a @firstwifesyndrome.
@@alghurraba why do young women choose to marry a married men when they can have a full time man? Who really is delusional is determined by reality at hand.
There is no mention of misyar in the books of fuqaha it used to be called nahariyat (day marriages) and I read that many scholars didn’t like it , like bin taymiyah And a women who drops some of her haqs in a mutual agreement is halal
Sisters know how to smoothly transition from one topic to another random one. Smooth transition you don't even realise. Compared to the Daniel Haqiqatjou discussion which was more structured and linear. Maybe that's why it is harder to follow the woman speech at times.
A'right just finished watching this and wallahi with all this fitnah going on and available to us now adays, gettting married gives me cold feet atm. I went for a walk this morning just reflecting over some stuff from my childhood and I realized how early on i've been exposed to all sorts of weird stuff like pornography, shirky rituals in schools and liberalistic values etc. With all this in mind, i'm scared of meeting someone who had been just as exposed as me cause wallahi today a lot of it really haunts me and is traumatizing in certain ways. Kinda makes 1 not not give a cake about relationships and just live it out with some adopted children, cause u're scared that you can't live up to expectations and because of all the pressure you feel now adays. (Too lazy to correct spelling errors)
Bro take it easy and try to improve yourself. Allah is not expecting perfection, and after rely on him, you have a lot of good on you. You can't afford to waste it by doubting yourself. Salam aleykoum
@@alghurraba _Good insight Masha'Allah, but I know a friend who went to get a girl from a small village! Guess what? She became melted.once she came to the west! I guess if someone gives up living in the west then it is possible to have a better and healthy old fashioned lifestyle! I am hunting for that place as well insha'Allah! I am sick and tired of the west but unfortunately we are in "senza via d'scampo"!_
@@alghurraba Don't insult Muslim countries. They are much better ethically. The only thing bad about them is that they don't have as much resource as the west. Well, it's not technically bad but it might sound bad if you are a materialist.
How can polygyny be the ideal family system? Polygyny is simply the worst thing ever, the fact that you have to justify it and it's already controversial all around the world is a proof that this is simply wrong. How can this be ideal when it only leads to jealousies, psychological pain, fighting between husband/wife, co-wives? What about the impact on children? Jealousies and fights between children of different wives stays forever... there is nothing good in polygyny, the only person benefiting from this is the husband: that's what I call being selfish. There is so much more in a marriage than providing the family etc., the father/husband is not just a bank he has other responsibilities too. People trying to justify this tribal practice will always say things like "in an ideal world" "IF you are mature enough" "or IF this...and that" this could be ideal and it could work. Too many ifs proving this is clearly not something that can work 🙄 in the end women are just called selfish for not willing their husbands to have multiple wives and asked to shut their mouths and suppress their feelings and pain because in the end who are you to question? Women are made to believe that they should be ok with this, that she is not a good woman if she doesn't like it, feel bad for all these women who in the end despite all the pain have to accept this.
The issue is selfishness! That includes the men! The women have to be strive to be like sisters, and want the best for one another. This can help mitigate jealously and the like. We are suppose to strive to embody the fruits of the spirit. If I know my co wife/sister wife is struggling, I would encourage my husband to spend more time with her, or do something nice for her. This relationship style has to be approached from a community mindset and one has to be a bit selfless. It doesn’t have to be painful. If I see my husband or treating my sister wife well, I will bring it up to him. This is where women can have power in the sisterhood. Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t see the value in working together. We think too much of ourselves. This is where the virtue of temperance is so important. I would want all of my sister wives to be happy and content. I would want us to work together to yield that result for all of us. The reality is that many men want this lifestyle, and will take other women, even if behind our backs. I don’t want that of course, so that alternative is to find the middle ground. Finding the middle ground is to love my sister wife as he my husband does, and support her and make sure she knows I accept her. I would help her grow, and hopefully she will do the same for me. I do believe this lifestyle is not for everyone. Men need to vet the women they want to bring into the fold. The men have to respect their first marriage first and foremost. If they don’t, they don’t deserve polygyny. The issue is that men say it is their right…well if you build your house upon sand 🤷🏾♀️…that is what it is like to not respect your first marriage and take another woman. You can destroy both women. I can go on and on…
@@russiagraham2933 yes many men might want this lifestyle but then many women might want to have more than 1 man too, does it make it right though? The reality is that most people men or women don’t want that. Simple. We are made to believe that this is how men are, and that you can’t do anything about it so the best thing to do is to accept it and make peace with everything. But the truth is there are so many men out there who would never want that, if they truly love a woman she will be enough for them, I watched many videos on youtube, talked to people about this issue face to face and believe me lots of men were actually disgusted by this practice.
Women benefit from polygamy There are always more women who need a husband than men who are capable of being husbands because of issues like immaturity, injury, finances, imprisonment, illness and death. If you ban polygamy then some of the women have to be celibate or try to steal each others men if they want a companion.
If polygyny is so “natural” how come Allah created eve for adam and not eve, sara, fatima etc? Why do women feel so heart broken then if its natural for us to share a man?
@@tube56t53 No, what are you even suggesting? Stop putting words in my mouth. I’m saying that you could argue that monogamy is more natural than polygyny since we started out that way.... and if it's so natural and the ideal for us how come Allah created Eve for Adam and not 3 other women in addition?
So men can marry 2 3 or 4 for their needs and make arrangements! Not really comitee but a women who does nikah with a few men at different times and fulfills her needs this is not right.. Double standards really.. Stick with 1 wife if people can not deal with the full commitment and women keep your man happy.
I have a question, does this whole thing about a virgin woman being more "valuable" than a non virgin apply to our brothers as well. A brother who may have also being around with many apples.... does he still hold his value as a man whose never had an apple???
No sister its not the same thing unfortunately. "Body count" does not effect men the same as it effects women weather it be social or even mentaly or physically we are more impacted . Even though islam does not speak about virginity but it speaks about chastity you can not be a virgin but be an honorable women Even with past mistakes for example you lost your virginity to a man but have repented since and now lead a respectful life, a man can overlook the fact that you are no longer a virgin and still be considered a chaste women bi idhnil'Llah . We have these examples from the lives of the sahaba but ofcourse virgin women for multiple reason tend to be more valuable but that doesn't mean she will always a the better option for mariage. A non virgin women can compensate in her value by working on herself her on her character, her spirituality her ability to be a good wife and mother ect
For me that is clear Allahumma barik. And jazakallahu khairan for taking the time to reply, but my thoughts are deeply concerned about the idea the brother is pushing. Because he states clearly what a woman with no virginity and past sexual experience whether in Islam or before Islam is. It concerns me as to how brothers will look at sisters , I am a mother of 4 and I do not deny the facts in the nature of women but the brother should be careful in the ideas he is pushing, Allah has honoured the women in a way no man can ever do. May Allah guide us to the straight path.
@@ummyusufs2912 amin ukhty to be honest I didn't enjoy this video very much alot of things were said in here that I didn't find very "islamic" or even coherent . I don't like some words that have been used such a "toy boy" "high value man" the list goes on. Kheyran in sha Allah in the video their discution are mainly opinions there isn't an absolute truth. The only truth is with Allah a virgin women is no more valuable in the sight of Allah than the woman who is no longer "virgin" because it all comes down to piety at the end of the day . And you know a man can want a virgin all he likes and STILL end up married to a non virgin because that is his qadar and he might be super happy in that marriage. Like I said their is no absolute truth to mariage and love ect Allah is the one who controls the hearts. That why we must focus on whats really important ei our deen.
@@ummyusufs2912 another thing soubhanal'Llah I must agree with you about the whole apple situation lol I believe that a man who has had many apples and the one who has had none are not the same and we should value him . Also men with High body counts we can call players ect so it's not like their is no stigma around a guy who was or is promiscuous its is just as disgusting . BTW I'm also a mum so I understand your concern
What is this? I’m really sorry but WHY are we only talking about women here? Why is the debate mainly about women? It’s not even something good but something like “Women are not settling” “Women are narcissistic” “Mothers need to stop misleading their daughters” I’m sorry and I’m not trying to be rude but what is this?
If hearing people talking about the problems of women makes you this offended then you are one of the problem. This guys are here trying to solve problems but these keyboard feminists want equality here too. Go and dance to gay songs like a crow.
@@chaeun-woon8405 "WHY are we only talking about women here?" Ask yourself. You are the one who has problem with talking about ONLY women that means you are trying to imply they should equally talk about men in this stream.
Asalamu alaykum. When Sister Na'ima bint Robert spoke about the so-called ideal marriage arrangement of a Muslim household whereby husband returns home to his wife each night it implies that anything on the contrary is abnormal. For example, many men work night shifts, alternating shift work, travel often on the road, fly by plane, drive trucks, serve on ships, are in the military, or simply are on call for emergencies such as doctors etc. In a monogamous household these brothers will already be unavailable for sisters wanting a regular 9-5 Monday to Friday set-up. So what is the difference if a polygynous family has days and nights spread apart, whereby some sisters must fore go their regular conjugal visits in a standard set-up? Many people in this era must work in a situation essentially married to their jobs.
Why is it that when ever polygany is mentioned it’s always about the mans desire, the woman’s nights with her husband. What about the kids? All those job situations you mentioned would limit the fathers time with his kids just as polygany does, if everyone is not in the same house hold. This has a great impact on children. A father in this situation can keep up with what’s happening with his kids but he is not putting in the time to know them and create a bond, which is important when your child is a teenager. A father that comes home every evening is the best setup for a child, stats prove that kids that come from a 2 parent homes do better. Polygany creates part time fathers if their families are not in the same location.
@@sarahosman9030 absolutely agreed. I don't know why this debate holds relevance now. Perhaps as per statistics men population may get lower in another 50 years. Then perhaps this holds some relevance. Not now.
@@andreeaboloca246 doesn't matter if a women is happy with polygamy or not . The Man can have upto 4 wives if one of the wife is "Not happy" then she can ask for khul but most women will share a high value man with other females .
@@truebeliever1516 most women won't actually share a high value man ...That's not true at all....Most women are very jealous actually and even our prophet's wives were ,only that he was obviously a prophet with extra value none of u shares and his purpose wasn't his own lust.... Marrying 4wives is a trial one puts on himself and it doesn't actually save him from lust ..His lustful mind will still want something else and that is the truth I wish it wouldn't be real.....That is exactly why he didn't stop at one or two or three.....Because he wanted more and he wanted something else.... A man should marry for the deen because Allah said that is best and a high value man will marry for this reason and not his own lustful self....Lust makes most men weak....
Can anyone please justify her comment on concubines? That if i just want have sex i will go for concubbines? I just feel it's so degrading to that women . So degrading on being just used for sexual desires. And not taking responsibilities. Im a Muslim. Please help
@be kind y'all He was talking about the olden days during the times of Roman Empire and Islamic Caliphate where taking concubines were actually legal nowadays it isn't legal anymore
@@bekindyall5555 yeah in the Quran it says what your right hand posses these are captive women during wars, but now no Muslim country practice this, but some Christian countries still practise this like Russia who have kidnapped Ukrainian women and raped them
Sister, it’s not for you to tell a sister to “own her decision “ to deal with it or bounce like you said, to be supported is a right given by Allah that she can claim at ANYTIME. It’s for the man to understand this, and keep in mind that she may ask for that. And that is her right. Allah has placed these rules to protect the interests of the woman. That is from the speech of the scholars. In the same way that when a man marries his first wife and tells her he won’t remarry HE CAN ALSO CHANGE HIS MIND. And he can remarry because that is his right, with conditions Allah has placed upon him. If the sisters make it easy for him Alhamdulillah, and if not that is the situation he put himself in that he needs to own to gain the pleasure of Allah…I am not sure I heard you say he needs to own his decision of just one wife. People grow, people change, people learn knowledge that maybe they didn’t know before. If we all learnt the others rights it wouldn’t be such a mess..
No they cant.if she has 4 husbands, all want kids, every 4 years, each one have one kid and can a women have capacity to give birth every year straight for like 15-20 years? and when she is trying to conceive one husbands kid, she is unavailable to others otherwise all the gens are mixed etc etc. no one is sure whos kid is that .. and the list goes on and on
@@AQTech-od5ynmen don't marry only for children...they do so mainly to satisfy their sexual desires ...women too have sexual desires that need to be satisfied.
I am a convert & facing this issue du to me not being able to have children. I can make sense of this in my head but .........HOW do I make my heart fall in line. My husband is the love of my life ... PLEASE ADVISE...
@49:00 women will NEVER take accountability for themselves. They’re not disciplined or adult enough. You know this yourself, sister Naima. What you’re saying here is in a fairytale world where women are logical and honest with themselves. This type of unicorn doesn’t exist or, at the very least, is among 0.1% of women in today’s world.
Polygamy is prevalent in societies and cultures where men’s desires and needs are more important than a woman’s. Women in the earlier days accepted polygamy because they were economically dependent and did not have a choice. When a woman has a choice, she will avoid it by all means. Monogamous is normal - polygamy is deviation. Which man who claims to love his wife will hurt her by bringing another woman to share his life with.
not necessarily. Men are polygamous by nature as are the animals closest to us in DNA, for example monkeys and apes where the male will have multiple female partners. Many Muslim women and even non-Muslim will agree to be in a polygamous relationship. In times of war theres a surplus of women, those women also deserve love and intimacy. You can love two wives at the same time same as you can love two children at the same time
@@tariqsheik2055 : If you are referring to the old testament, I would say that it is a deviation there also - not the perfect situation. God may have allowed it considering the number of men lost in battle and the patriarchy system that did not allow any financial independence or social support for women. One one Eve was created for one Adam.
@@CodnGta : War is a result of the fallen state of the world. In the perfect state, polygamy will not be required. The Bible clearly states that we are living in a fallen world - we accommodate many things - but that does not make it normal.
While it shouldn't be this way Mahdi, unfortunately, reality and the evidence on the ground says that to get married, one must be, as a prerequisite, a top 10% man. This is the case not just to get married, but for the mere consideration by parents and/or their daughters to get married. Ie, you won't even exist on the radar in the marriage market until then.
A marriage is technically an agreement contain few preset mandatory Clauses and any additional Clauses, with a collateral (dowry) placed against it, made officially under appointed authority, in the present of witnesses. ...it is bound by a Law specific to it as well as general Law, with addition to the Local Man-made law. Both party may further extend or add Clauses to the agreement, as long as it adhere to all of the other Law. All these problems arises from people (public and the couple) didn't or did not seriously understand/treat it as an agreement. People have various perspective, expectation, knowledge, understanding, emotion, priority etc which tend to evolved over time. Any cooperation 2 parties, even between brothers for a simple thing required some sort of an agreement (officially or not), and we talking about a LIFETIME cooperation between 2 stranger of different sex with multiple differences and yet enter the agreement without proper understanding/awareness of it..
It seems like you people are talking about orphan brothers and sisters. May Allah bless my community, here parents and elders do all the matching making work. They are heavily involved in good and bad times of marriage.
Secret wife cannot happen. It's a crime. Wife have rights over you to know who you are going to be with and having children. Marriage is all about to declare that this woman is my wife .
48:52 ... Naeema is trying to achieve an impossibility here that’s against women’s nature .. accountability .. it’s extremely tough to get a women to be accountable
Women are not accountable?? Huh?? Tell tht to the women disowned, honour killed. Girls that get raped r considered damage goods, grooming gangs victims were included muslims girls but their family didnt wana go to the police cz of 'what are ppl going to say'. Family care more abt family image than the well being of their daughters. Were as men can have their fun to get it out their system n be entitled to a pure women. Some men get married bk home find a traditional women but yet treat them badly .. so how r women the problem..
Never been married before dosent mean Virgin especially not when in late thirties .Can mean several previous boyfriends but No marriage , so lets not forget that
Sis not ur job to inspect believing women hymen.. If a sister says she virgin never married, ur opinion about her hymen means nothing? men who are not ur husband are not ur resp..think good of ur islamic sisters. 👍
That one Reason that he made it a joke and a smack sound effect and said she will agree she better agree or she will be smacked up and u better agree. Then he said she better do what I say 😮 wow. The fairytale life is this. But I respect them as people but I will find a husband and he shall find me. But women wake up do u want to be loved and love someone and still build and hve many kids. Just u 2
It is so sad that Muslim women have to ignore their intrinsic apprehension/disgust towards polygamy so that men stop having secret second wives. Wouldn’t it be better if men simply would never take on secret second wives and make a pact with their wives to discuss any issues before taking any such drastic, harmful and betraying steps such as taking secret second wives. One of the pillars of a healthy marriage is trust, and that pillar crumbles when men take secret second wives.
Polygamy was extremely important for reproduction back in the day, a king could easily gain enough children who would also marry and reproduce. This provided strength and power to a nation. Polyandry wouldn't work because naturally men are the influence in marriages, men are usually in charge. Another problem is that if the woman has children, you're always gonna wonder who the father as opposed to easily knowing who the mother is. Lastly, you can only reproduce for 9 months at a time at best, you're not exactly going to produce a powerful nation as opposed to multiple wives where you could easily get 4 children in 9 months at times compared to one. When a man marries, he has to provide, he has to give the desired dowry, he must provide protection for his wife. Is it unfair for men? Why not just give no gift? He is also obliged to provide her with her own home, each wive has her own shelter, is this not too much to ask? Also having multiple wives is not something Islam encourages, only allows. As for the supposed disgust, you haven't heard of groupies? Women who want to marry or engage in a relationship with men of high status? Obviously not all women are groupies, but it's not like groupies are rare like anti-matter.
@@prizma45 who taught you that???? Pick any western country, they are not patriarchal and they are, on average, doing really well. Forget western countries, look at certain areas of north east India, parts of Africa and China where matriarchal societies have existed for centuries and societies were flourishing. Your statements gives away your regressive outdated thinking. Disgusting
I believe polygamous marriages should have been manageable because Allah opened this door for the jummah especially considering the ratio of men to women but unfortunately woman in general are too high maintenance jzk
In the Quran it states the men are the maintainers of women. A brother cannot give money, he keeps her a hush, see her when ever. Doesn't that make the sister a booty call!! Respectfully.
If a man is allow to have 4 wives even though Muhammad have 9 wives, what about the women, how many husband are they allow to have? If 72 Virgil's for the men in heaven, what about the women how many Virgil's of men for the women? Where will the Virgil's come from??? .....this only show how things is not fair for the women.
In Hope Almighty Said about this to Prophet Abram ( Peace be upon him ) Prophet Yaha ( Jhon the baptas) ( Peace be upon him) Specially to Prophet Suleman (Solomon) ( Peace be upon him) They were one However married to multiple wife
Muslims were allowed to drink at one point, many others had many wives than 4 until the verse came about 4 wives then those who have one or 2 can marry up to 4, clearly you speak without knowing, moses had many wives that means Jesus is not a prophet like moses whereas muhammad is then
Astagfirullah I didn't do anything Haram physically, in case anyone was wondering or got creeped out. I'm saying that very weird thoughts came to my mind 🤣
What about the seccual needs of a woman?! Many women are now honest about their own desires and how their partners aren’t meeting those expectations. Sounds like men’s seccual desires are more important than women’s. And with the economy being the way it is, men are no longer providing for their wives. The burden of raising a family and helping their husband provide for that growing family is an astronomical burden on women. Honestly, the economy need to get better, and more men need to take the necessary steps to become better providers for women to even see the advantage of marrying in the 21st century. Right now, it’s a bad deal for women. Period.
Where is the advice on how to maintain a polygamous marrriage dos and don'ts? Why is the starting point always the negatives? Sisters should make it easier for brothers to take another wife!
@Momina khan maybAllah heal your heart. Who said its compulsory?? Who are you to speak for all sisters?? If a man can do all of the above, then what is your issue? Are you suggesting that every polygamous marriage is that of unhappiness?? You seriously think that there are no sisters that dont mind to he in such a marriage?? Have an open heart and please dont look out only from the point view of jealousy which I know women and men have. Secondly the sister can stipulate that as her marriage condition and so can the brother. I myself sister have been approached by sisters 3 times who wanted this marriage. So please don't always assume that we men can't fulfil each other women right in Islam. If a brother knowingly does this, then he is causing wrong ( dhulm ) and this is not allowed in Islam.
@Momina khan may Allah subhana watala bless you and your family in dunya and akhira, may Allah grant you and your family the highest place in Jana firdaws , and may Allah protect you and your family from every jealously, envious and evil devils from Jin and man. May Allah give you and your family and children good long happy and healthy life. Allahuma amin. Wish you all khair. Your brother in Islam
It's not all about money and status but your understanding of female nature. The more you understand how to deal with women and understand their nature the greater your likelihood of success with them.
Dude for Khabib no mahr required. I don't think highly of Bezos and Gates, their deeds and wealth will amount to zero on day of Judgment if they die as unbelievers. Let's be Islamic about this
@@taym2720 No he isnt.................. He is pretty handsome, russians look rough like that. In great shape, the greatest MMA fighter of all time, on his deen, and have loads of money and respect. 10/10 male
I just want to tell this man ,affraied of Allah. As you did justice or not you know better n Allah. Putting this in public foram n misleading all those who are watching it . N the way these two praising their worldly achieved show they are full with arrogance ,which is the greatest sin. May Allah give them hidayat n lead to Jannah. Inshaallah, inshallah, ameen
The best way is clear; Fear Allah for men and women. may Allah increase them in good…I can’t listen so long without hearing daleel…must have proofs and evidence from Qur’an Sunnah and Scholars…not what we think.
Even if you’re willing to be a 2nd, 3rd or 4th wife, don’t allow anyone to make you a secret wife. That is dishonorable to you and your family.
exactly, and also trust will be broken and it will be a Trauma,, I saw a women nearly getting an heart attack when he brought that second wife
In a perfect world this would be the case. But, every women's situation is a little different.
İslam doesn't allow "secret" marriages , u have to publicize your marriage so yeah ,
@@meta5743 you are correct, but more specifically as long as you meet the required amount of witnesses you are fine. But, it's not recommended for the rest to not know about it in most cases.
Here is a better response:
m.ua-cam.com/video/eAQA5cseDm4/v-deo.html
I'd rather want to be a son of a polygam than a hidden child from a woman..
0:00:00| Writing best selling books
0:04:04| The purposes of polygny today
0:09:17| When desire is the main reason
0:16:43| Polygyny isn't easy for everyone
0:18:30| 2nd wife waiving her rights
0:22:27| Mentality of an older single woman
0:24:55| Why women are against polygyny
0:30:40| Secret wives
0:32:44| Only Misyar if you can be grateful
0:37:40| Sisters don't want to settle today
0:44:10| Risks of Misyar
0:50:44| When women may prefer polygny.
0:56:15| Parents misleading their daughters
1:00:20| Narcacistic and selfish women.
1:04:50| Settling goes both ways
1:11:40| Dont disrespect halal Nikah
1:19:50| Preparing next gen for marriage
1:30:20| As Salaamu Alaykum
Perhaps this may help someone inshaAllah.
_May Allah bless your work. Mahdi should recognize your efforts! You really deserve a 5star golden reward. You are helping a lot of busy viewers_
بارك الله فيك
@@seekfactsnotfiction9056 Wa iyaakum... watch em in speed x2.
Jzk ❤️
@@IbnMurrah I followed your template bro. BarakAllahu feek.
Thank you
I don't like Mehdi's inclination to prefer no strings marriage over polygamy. In fact, and with reference to the red pill movement, an alpha male should only be in a public polygamous relationship.
If you cannot handle two women in a full polygamous relationship, then you aren't worthy of a no strings marriage. A no strings marriage feels something for the betas, the weak, and unambitious males; not for Muslim men!
Betas? How old are you? Grow up. Sounds cringe using these terms.
@@YusufIslam1
I don't usually use these terms nor do I promote using them. However, they are quite relevant to the conversation here: i.e. red pill
@@MrTruthAndFacts wth is red bill and blue pill can someone explain cause I’m lost
I think he means the no strings attached marriages for those who are in their elder years
gaslighting?
As someone very smart here wrote:
If polygamy is so “natural” how come Allah created eve for adam and not eve, sara, fatima etc?
Why do women feel so heart broken then if its natural for us to share a man?
Why do you single out Adam? There were many prophets with multiple wives.
@JodJod Swarthy Princess Israelite Loves TyTy Nonsense there's many polygamous marriages in your bible who forbade it?
If it wasn't natural prophet Mohamed pbuh wouldn't have multiple wives, it's also in the Qu'r an Allah allowed it, as Muslims we hear and obey not question what Allah made lawful.
I agree!!!
@JodJod Swarthy Princess Israelite Loves TyTy you know what's nonsense? You calling the Bible the 'injeel'. Not single learned Muslim will call the Bible the injeel. So stupid that you tried to translate it like that.
I am not Muslim, and I spent my life up to age 37 thinking I didn't want kids, didn't like kids, I also thought I couldn't have kids and was happy about that. At 37 I shockingly got pregnant, I was super upset and distressed, I even thought about a abortion. But the hormones to protect my unborn kicked it in about 48 hrs flat. I'm a older mother and that's hard all by itself. My biggest takeaway is I have something REAL to live for! I get to watch a tiny human grow, and how much she loves me is inconceivable. When I grow old I will never be alone, I get to raise her to love animals and be compassionate
Beautiful
You still could be alone. Having children doesn’t keep one from being alone… neither does marriage. Instead, keep genuine friendships and close family relationships. That’s the only thing that is truly going to keep you from being alone. Children become adults and they have their own responsibilities and relationships outside of their parents.
@@Academiacaramelcurlz she'll be with me till I'm 56, and when she's grown and out on her own, I'm sure she'll share with me her life's adventures. I've personally seen how family's crumble (when I was a kid, and watching mu sisters family), I CANT imagine anything that could possibly happen that I would let fracture the relationship with my daughter, that bond is to sacred. I don't talk to my mother for very real reasons, my nieces don't talk to their mother cause she threw a tantrum and stopped talking to them when they no longer wanted to live with her. I get that's a hard pill to swallow, for her, but those are her kids, and I can't imagine going that route in any way, shape, or form. I have my husband, friends, and family....but they will never be my child
@@pythonpatrolexotics that’s a nice way to think of it… but you can’t determine how many years you get with your children. You just can’t. They could marry early or anything else could happen. I think it’s healthy to not depend on your children for that level of comfort but instead, look to your husband and family. The children can feel that added pressure and sometimes it can drive them away sooner. I’m just saying…. Think about that
@@Academiacaramelcurlz ok I know this is a assumption but I feel like you may never have felt the bond of creating a life and nourishing that life with your own life source?
I appreciate Na’ima perspective and how she articulates our situation there is very few sisters like her
Hermes Trismegistus “The punishment of desire is the agony of unfulfillment.”
Deep
I had rough opinions on this sister, but after this podcast. She actually seems pretty damn based. She's a good sister.
I don’t agree with her on many things, but I respect her for being intelligent and rational. I have no problem with debates if it’s between 2 respectful people.
59:55 We (both men and women) must appreciate housewives!! My mom, my paternal and maternal grandmothers they've all been housewives but most of the housewives are disrespected, unloved and unhappy and warned with divorce! Thats why ppl have adapted the concept of gaining respect and dignity through career. But where does that lead us? NOWHERE
Only for men, career is a respectable achievement because they earn, they feed, they clothe their families, fulfilling their role and responsibility, whilst women playing her role and fulfilling her responsibility whether its being a mother, being a housewife, a cook, she is seen as inferior and is undervalued. What does a woman do? Women belong in the kitchen! Etc etc
When a woman is traditional and submissive, she is constantly reminded of being inferior and nothing without a man than being respected for playing her role. While a man is appreciated and praised for doing his part of the job
He speaks in a way where he thinks he is a lot smarter than he actually is. It's hard to watch. I'm out.
Subscribes to you after seeing your talk with Brother Hijab. It takes a real mu'min and a real man to admit to his faults an correct them publicly. Mashallah brother you truly earned my respect and the respects of many others. I haven't watched this video yet cause im trying to binge watch ur older content, but i'll come back to this video soon in sha Allah.
As a practicing Muslim who grew up in a solid Muslim majority environment before emigrating as a young man to the USA, I can confidently say the following: The luckiest men are those whose first wife actually recommends that the husband take a second wife, and who even suggests for him the candidate that she already loves and trusts and has thoroughly vetted, and whom she actually wants to see her husband marry and take care of.
You can see this sometimes among two women who are inseparable best friends or kinswomen, who love and trust each other, and if one of them is having trouble finding a good, kind, caring husband, the first wife might recommend that her husband marry her best friend or kinswoman as his second wife, so that the latter isn’t condemned to permanent spinsterhood.
I’ve seen this scenario before, and those marriages are some of the happiest and most solid that I’ve ever seen.
thats so rare. Its a womens natural reaction to be against it because of intense jealousy. That jealousy exists within every women even with the wives of the prophet.
Practicing muslim made hijra to kufristan. Spot the irony..
@@Hamza-iq6gw : Someone has to have the balls to come here and spread Islam in person, rather than criticize others from behind a screen and keyboard. Spot the envy.
@@samy7013 spreading Islam is done just by practicing it. And 99 procent of converts convert for love reasons. There is always 'somebody' if you dig on the life of those so called convert.
@@samy7013 it is way more difficult to be a muslim in kufristan than in a muslim country don't know what you looking for in united snakes... Next time leave the 'im a practicing muslim and my imaan is over 9000' part out of your stories.
There is no dawa today there is marketing and rebranding of Islam. Fake sheikh's lying about Islam to make it appealing for capitalists. Age of aicha is such a matter.
You're using the phrase 'put my foot on the throat' with your wife? And then saying 'ik she's LAUGHING'? Are these really the 'men' of today? This guy speaks like his opinion is relevant. It is NOT, if you are not a student of Islam your opinion on marriage in Islam is IRRELEVANT. This so called man has no respect for women. You can tell by the language he uses. Surprised to know he's married.
Ya, I’m a submissive type of woman who likes strong male leaders, but this language shouts “unsafe, abusive insecurity” to me rather than “I’m a dominant male safe for you to follow.”
He still is young and has work to do. Too influenced by non-Muslim culture.
In biblical days, men used to marry more than one woman to save her from slavery or prostitution. And in those times, God allowed it. Because it was of a pure intention. these days, people's traditions and values change, and there's more sin in the world. So you have to wonder, is it for selfish reasons, or is it to make a person's life better like it was intended to.
Br. Mahdi bringing topics to the forefront for all and his ability to also listen is commendable
i hope the uk goverment look into this/and make sure it is not allowed in the uk and that children and families do not get help from taxpayers/and that men pay child support to the wives who are victim of secret wives
Im ashamed of Muslim men who are cowards on this topic. Women do not dictate terms to us. A man should have as many wives and concubines as he can afford. A Muslimah who dictates what her husband is allowed to do, is an insult to the honor of all Muslims. Imagine how weak our ummah would be if the women were in control.
Slavey is illegal all over the world . So you can't have concubines😂
@@namra7957 talk about urself
@@absolute757 Do whatever haram you want to do
@@namra7957 thnx for ur permission.
Have fun being single forever.
Mahdi with great streams everyday. I’m listening while at work.
Mahdi tijani is the kind of guy who cried his eyes out after being dumped by a 304 and since then has been reading red pill stuff.
I believe in poliginy being good but scared of sexual deseases/infections. I know cases of sisters who went in virgin into poliginy and got a sexual desease. And Allah knows best. Some brothers are not careful about this, some sisters also do not cafe enough about their bodies... SubhanAllah, so that is the only thing which makes me scared and disgusted. May Allah strengthen us. Ameen
Well simply put, this example I am giving, and it is a true example, is about a brother "high value man" as believed by this brother, he is owner of a chain of shopping malls back in my country, he is from a different ethnicity anyways, he has got is 4 wifes but often renews just because he can " money buys all" so he marries with sisters or new sisters for the reasons Allah knows best, this women may not be sought after their spirituality and chastity therefore underling issues which are not addressed and little cared for. So this new, revert sister , virgin, believed to be the best option and was told about this brother, now she is divorced as well and with a sexual transmitted desease. And in Allah we seek refuge...
@@ummyusufs2912 A "new revert sister" who is a "virgin"?
Hmmm..... sus.....
@@ummyusufs2912 Ask Allah for protection sis*. Not engaging in polygyny do more harm than any "sexual disease" could.
you can get tested for STD's before intercourse
This guy married 2-3-4 times, prefers concubines, and has the guts about making comments about other woman's character. Look at your own character. Its filthy and dirty.
I agree!!!
how is marrying 2 3-4 times filthy?
How are concubines(right hand posessions) dirty when its halal in the Quran?
Brother please don't delete comment of people that disagree.
20 kids is too less. I want 40 in shaa Allah
Mans r struggling to find one wife these mans on about 2nd 3rd 4th….
We need to bring back arranged marriages as the norm focusing on comparability rather than love.
You guys should definitely make another video that is only about what marriage is and unrealistic expactations caused by Hollywood and Disney movies in a marriage.
Lol it has nothing to do with Hollywood or Disney. People are living like for centuries if not forever. It’s the most normal thing ever. Just because the Arabs liked and apparently still like having multiple wives, doesn’t mean everyone else in the world have to adopt their barbaric way of life
Yes please, I promote this
Wow what a knowledgable woman mash'Allah🙂
The reason so many polygynous marriages have problems is because the good brothers, who can afford and manage multiple wives , avoid it, do to all the negativity created by the current social political norms of today. This leads all the access of women having to settle with unworthy men because they don’t have any other choice, a self full filling prophecy.
We should promote and encourage polygyny in our society because it will not only improve women’s lives but also the society at large.
If all productive and high value men take on multiple wives, there will be shortage of women, which will create a higher value and demand for them. Now women will not have to settle, rather she would have greater control over who she marries.
This will also get all the deadbeat unproductive men having no choice but to become more productive and responsible in order just find a single women. When men in a society become productive and responsible, the society will flourish.
There are so many benefit of polygyny that multiple books can be written on this subject alone.
In conclusion, Women benefits more from polygyny and societies are uplifted do to it’s implementation.
It's not just about "affording". Men today are in general low quality. Even the ones who are earning a few more bucks. They won't retain their wives. Most of them even if they get to marry multiple times.
@@najmussaqibmahboobi1192 that’s because men put up with emotional blackmail are afraid to divorce the bad apple amongst the wives.
@@alghurraba divorce is halal so is polygyny. If a women has a problem with god given right and is unhappy then why stay in that relationship.
She could go mary someone who will give up his and other women’s right for satisfy her desires.
Remember at least 3 women benefits from polygyny even if the first one have a @firstwifesyndrome.
@@alghurraba why do young women choose to marry a married men when they can have a full time man?
Who really is delusional is determined by reality at hand.
If 2 man 4 woman then Poliwhammy then society would accept ?
If my husband gave me 3 or 4 kids and provide me n kids house n pay everything for us I dont mine if he marry 4 time or 14 time 😁
😂😂😂😂😂
What debate? so it ok for someone to have multiple girlfriends but not multiple wives. World has become nuts. No its people in it.
Great perspectives. I got lots of insight from this💯
There is no mention of misyar in the books of fuqaha it used to be called nahariyat (day marriages) and I read that many scholars didn’t like it , like bin taymiyah
And a women who drops some of her haqs in a mutual agreement is halal
It's not about taking side . First wife has the right to know as mostly second one approach knowing that this man is already married to that woman.
Sisters know how to smoothly transition from one topic to another random one. Smooth transition you don't even realise. Compared to the Daniel Haqiqatjou discussion which was more structured and linear. Maybe that's why it is harder to follow the woman speech at times.
A'right just finished watching this and wallahi with all this fitnah going on and available to us now adays, gettting married gives me cold feet atm. I went for a walk this morning just reflecting over some stuff from my childhood and I realized how early on i've been exposed to all sorts of weird stuff like pornography, shirky rituals in schools and liberalistic values etc. With all this in mind, i'm scared of meeting someone who had been just as exposed as me cause wallahi today a lot of it really haunts me and is traumatizing in certain ways. Kinda makes 1 not not give a cake about relationships and just live it out with some adopted children, cause u're scared that you can't live up to expectations and because of all the pressure you feel now adays. (Too lazy to correct spelling errors)
@@alghurraba did i steal your banana or something? Why so much anger :O
Bro take it easy and try to improve yourself. Allah is not expecting perfection, and after rely on him, you have a lot of good on you. You can't afford to waste it by doubting yourself. Salam aleykoum
@@alghurraba _Good insight Masha'Allah, but I know a friend who went to get a girl from a small village! Guess what? She became melted.once she came to the west! I guess if someone gives up living in the west then it is possible to have a better and healthy old fashioned lifestyle! I am hunting for that place as well insha'Allah! I am sick and tired of the west but unfortunately we are in "senza via d'scampo"!_
@@alghurraba Don't insult Muslim countries. They are much better ethically. The only thing bad about them is that they don't have as much resource as the west. Well, it's not technically bad but it might sound bad if you are a materialist.
@@seekfactsnotfiction9056 I want to understand your post. Bro, what does it mean when someone becomes "melted?" Did she become westernized?
How can polygyny be the ideal family system? Polygyny is simply the worst thing ever, the fact that you have to justify it and it's already controversial all around the world is a proof that this is simply wrong. How can this be ideal when it only leads to jealousies, psychological pain, fighting between husband/wife, co-wives? What about the impact on children? Jealousies and fights between children of different wives stays forever... there is nothing good in polygyny, the only person benefiting from this is the husband: that's what I call being selfish. There is so much more in a marriage than providing the family etc., the father/husband is not just a bank he has other responsibilities too. People trying to justify this tribal practice will always say things like "in an ideal world" "IF you are mature enough" "or IF this...and that" this could be ideal and it could work. Too many ifs proving this is clearly not something that can work 🙄 in the end women are just called selfish for not willing their husbands to have multiple wives and asked to shut their mouths and suppress their feelings and pain because in the end who are you to question? Women are made to believe that they should be ok with this, that she is not a good woman if she doesn't like it, feel bad for all these women who in the end despite all the pain have to accept this.
Lol this argument is so flawed it's unbelievable
@@YusufIslam1 then go ahead and provide a better argument
The issue is selfishness! That includes the men! The women have to be strive to be like sisters, and want the best for one another. This can help mitigate jealously and the like. We are suppose to strive to embody the fruits of the spirit. If I know my co wife/sister wife is struggling, I would encourage my husband to spend more time with her, or do something nice for her. This relationship style has to be approached from a community mindset and one has to be a bit selfless.
It doesn’t have to be painful. If I see my husband or treating my sister wife well, I will bring it up to him. This is where women can have power in the sisterhood. Unfortunately, a lot of us don’t see the value in working together. We think too much of ourselves. This is where the virtue of temperance is so important. I would want all of my sister wives to be happy and content. I would want us to work together to yield that result for all of us.
The reality is that many men want this lifestyle, and will take other women, even if behind our backs. I don’t want that of course, so that alternative is to find the middle ground. Finding the middle ground is to love my sister wife as he my husband does, and support her and make sure she knows I accept her. I would help her grow, and hopefully she will do the same for me.
I do believe this lifestyle is not for everyone. Men need to vet the women they want to bring into the fold. The men have to respect their first marriage first and foremost. If they don’t, they don’t deserve polygyny.
The issue is that men say it is their right…well if you build your house upon sand 🤷🏾♀️…that is what it is like to not respect your first marriage and take another woman. You can destroy both women.
I can go on and on…
@@russiagraham2933 yes many men might want this lifestyle but then many women might want to have more than 1 man too, does it make it right though? The reality is that most people men or women don’t want that. Simple. We are made to believe that this is how men are, and that you can’t do anything about it so the best thing to do is to accept it and make peace with everything. But the truth is there are so many men out there who would never want that, if they truly love a woman she will be enough for them, I watched many videos on youtube, talked to people about this issue face to face and believe me lots of men were actually disgusted by this practice.
Women benefit from polygamy
There are always more women who need a husband than men who are capable of being husbands because of issues like immaturity, injury, finances, imprisonment, illness and death. If you ban polygamy then some of the women have to be celibate or try to steal each others men if they want a companion.
If polygyny is so “natural” how come Allah created eve for adam and not eve, sara, fatima etc? Why do women feel so heart broken then if its natural for us to share a man?
Oh so god made the wrong decision then?
@@tube56t53 No, what are you even suggesting? Stop putting words in my mouth. I’m saying that you could argue that monogamy is more natural than polygyny since we started out that way.... and if it's so natural and the ideal for us how come Allah created Eve for Adam and not 3 other women in addition?
God is against polygyny polygamy. These people believes on false teaching (man made)
According to Islamic source our mother Eva is the most beautiful woman.
@@meenamoon7930 better than worshipping a man
So men can marry 2 3 or 4 for their needs and make arrangements! Not really comitee but a women who does nikah with a few men at different times and fulfills her needs this is not right..
Double standards really..
Stick with 1 wife if people can not deal with the full commitment and women keep your man happy.
Subhanallah she understands a lot about men which is a rare thing to see of women nowadays
I have a question, does this whole thing about a virgin woman being more "valuable" than a non virgin apply to our brothers as well. A brother who may have also being around with many apples.... does he still hold his value as a man whose never had an apple???
No sister its not the same thing unfortunately. "Body count" does not effect men the same as it effects women weather it be social or even mentaly or physically we are more impacted . Even though islam does not speak about virginity but it speaks about chastity you can not be a virgin but be an honorable women Even with past mistakes for example you lost your virginity to a man but have repented since and now lead a respectful life, a man can overlook the fact that you are no longer a virgin and still be considered a chaste women bi idhnil'Llah . We have these examples from the lives of the sahaba but ofcourse virgin women for multiple reason tend to be more valuable but that doesn't mean she will always a the better option for mariage. A non virgin women can compensate in her value by working on herself her on her character, her spirituality her ability to be a good wife and mother ect
For me that is clear Allahumma barik. And jazakallahu khairan for taking the time to reply, but my thoughts are deeply concerned about the idea the brother is pushing. Because he states clearly what a woman with no virginity and past sexual experience whether in Islam or before Islam is. It concerns me as to how brothers will look at sisters , I am a mother of 4 and I do not deny the facts in the nature of women but the brother should be careful in the ideas he is pushing, Allah has honoured the women in a way no man can ever do. May Allah guide us to the straight path.
@@ummyusufs2912 amin ukhty to be honest I didn't enjoy this video very much alot of things were said in here that I didn't find very "islamic" or even coherent . I don't like some words that have been used such a "toy boy" "high value man" the list goes on. Kheyran in sha Allah in the video their discution are mainly opinions there isn't an absolute truth. The only truth is with Allah a virgin women is no more valuable in the sight of Allah than the woman who is no longer "virgin" because it all comes down to piety at the end of the day . And you know a man can want a virgin all he likes and STILL end up married to a non virgin because that is his qadar and he might be super happy in that marriage. Like I said their is no absolute truth to mariage and love ect Allah is the one who controls the hearts. That why we must focus on whats really important ei our deen.
@@ummyusufs2912 another thing soubhanal'Llah I must agree with you about the whole apple situation lol I believe that a man who has had many apples and the one who has had none are not the same and we should value him . Also men with High body counts we can call players ect so it's not like their is no stigma around a guy who was or is promiscuous its is just as disgusting . BTW I'm also a mum so I understand your concern
MashaAllah , may Allah preserve you in goodness sister. May Allah strengthen us and grant us sincerity ameen.
What is this? I’m really sorry but WHY are we only talking about women here? Why is the debate mainly about women? It’s not even something good but something like “Women are not settling” “Women are narcissistic” “Mothers need to stop misleading their daughters” I’m sorry and I’m not trying to be rude but what is this?
If hearing people talking about the problems of women makes you this offended then you are one of the problem. This guys are here trying to solve problems but these keyboard feminists want equality here too. Go and dance to gay songs like a crow.
@@Blaze72sH what do you mean equality? Men are supposed to take care of the women and her needs. It’s a responsibility and not a choice.
@@chaeun-woon8405
"WHY are we only talking about women here?"
Ask yourself. You are the one who has problem with talking about ONLY women that means you are trying to imply they should equally talk about men in this stream.
@@Blaze72sH Bro have respect in your speech.
Prodcast with Mo Hijab brought me here! Great content brotha.
Asalamu alaykum. When Sister Na'ima bint Robert spoke about the so-called ideal marriage arrangement of a Muslim household whereby husband returns home to his wife each night it implies that anything on the contrary is abnormal. For example, many men work night shifts, alternating shift work, travel often on the road, fly by plane, drive trucks, serve on ships, are in the military, or simply are on call for emergencies such as doctors etc. In a monogamous household these brothers will already be unavailable for sisters wanting a regular 9-5 Monday to Friday set-up. So what is the difference if a polygynous family has days and nights spread apart, whereby some sisters must fore go their regular conjugal visits in a standard set-up? Many people in this era must work in a situation essentially married to their jobs.
Why is it that when ever polygany is mentioned it’s always about the mans desire, the woman’s nights with her husband. What about the kids? All those job situations you mentioned would limit the fathers time with his kids just as polygany does, if everyone is not in the same house hold. This has a great impact on children. A father in this situation can keep up with what’s happening with his kids but he is not putting in the time to know them and create a bond, which is important when your child is a teenager. A father that comes home every evening is the best setup for a child, stats prove that kids that come from a 2 parent homes do better. Polygany creates part time fathers if their families are not in the same location.
@@sarahosman9030 absolutely agreed. I don't know why this debate holds relevance now. Perhaps as per statistics men population may get lower in another 50 years. Then perhaps this holds some relevance. Not now.
@Bs sS wow. What are you even talking about? Where do non muslims even feature here?
@Bs sS you are getting too worked up here. Casting aspersions on your brother without any basis. Lol.
@Bs sS first of all learn the basic etiquettes of talking to people and stop the name calling. Salaam.
Revolving door of husbands killed me 😂
MAY ALLAH BLESS ANY SISTER WHO HAPPILY BEARS WITH PAITENCE POLYGAMY WITH A POOR PIOUS MAN.
Aaameen. Aaameen. Thumma aameen
Summma aameen@@hibatuadam2777
SubhanAllah this is gold
I am a woman btw
Pure gold
@Sam Khan 100% support
@Sam Khan justice and rahma from Allah
Jazakallah kheer, having four wifes is a fantasy but committing to it is a whole different. Guys wake up from day dreaming. May Allah guide us all 🤣
Soo true
Honestly
Only strong high value male can take care of multiple womens.
@@truebeliever1516 not plenty of them though hence not plenty of women happy with polygamy either
@@andreeaboloca246 doesn't matter if a women is happy with polygamy or not . The Man can have upto 4 wives if one of the wife is "Not happy" then she can ask for khul but most women will share a high value man with other females .
@@truebeliever1516 most women won't actually share a high value man ...That's not true at all....Most women are very jealous actually and even our prophet's wives were ,only that he was obviously a prophet with extra value none of u shares and his purpose wasn't his own lust.... Marrying 4wives is a trial one puts on himself and it doesn't actually save him from lust ..His lustful mind will still want something else and that is the truth I wish it wouldn't be real.....That is exactly why he didn't stop at one or two or three.....Because he wanted more and he wanted something else....
A man should marry for the deen because Allah said that is best and a high value man will marry for this reason and not his own lustful self....Lust makes most men weak....
Very useful and thoughtfull streams thanks both of you
Can anyone please justify her comment on concubines? That if i just want have sex i will go for concubbines? I just feel it's so degrading to that women . So degrading on being just used for sexual desires. And not taking responsibilities. Im a Muslim. Please help
@be kind y'all
He was talking about the olden days during the times of Roman Empire and Islamic Caliphate where taking concubines were actually legal nowadays it isn't legal anymore
@@haithamgharibjumamuhammeda9651 but if we just focus on islam, it is legal right?
@@bekindyall5555 yeah in the Quran it says what your right hand posses these are captive women during wars, but now no Muslim country practice this, but some Christian countries still practise this like Russia who have kidnapped Ukrainian women and raped them
Don't worry bro in Islam a slave must be treated with kindness not just used for sex then discarded.
@@bekindyall5555yes
السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته
Guess what Habibi, I'm one of the 6 who have possession of your book lol
LMAO! Good one haha
Legend
@@capitalistvirgin2156 your name, lol!!!!
Brilliant discussion may Allah preserve you both and accept your efforts Aameen
1:05:00 men pass on their seeds, women passes on her essence.
It's a good discussion. Thank you for sharing.
Mona Mahdis 3rd wife is such an intelligent beautiful person .I can’t find the video to put the comment on
I wanted to hear her objection to the term high value man.
she doesn't have any haha
On many point, I am not agree with this sister.
Sister, it’s not for you to tell a sister to “own her decision “ to deal with it or bounce like you said, to be supported is a right given by Allah that she can claim at ANYTIME. It’s for the man to understand this, and keep in mind that she may ask for that. And that is her right. Allah has placed these rules to protect the interests of the woman. That is from the speech of the scholars.
In the same way that when a man marries his first wife and tells her he won’t remarry HE CAN ALSO CHANGE HIS MIND. And he can remarry because that is his right, with conditions Allah has placed upon him. If the sisters make it easy for him Alhamdulillah, and if not that is the situation he put himself in that he needs to own to gain the pleasure of Allah…I am not sure I heard you say he needs to own his decision of just one wife.
People grow, people change, people learn knowledge that maybe they didn’t know before.
If we all learnt the others rights it wouldn’t be such a mess..
lol, the sister needs to own her decision. stop whining about men
@@moeissa2341 Women have always been like that bro. They mess up things and expect men to come in like a prince to save her.
I can't believe you guys accept divorce...he'll no unless it's life threatening
What about The fact that polygami is criminalized In all western countries? Do muslims ignore that completely?
Even non muslims ignore that bs laws have you not seen polygamous relationships become normal in the west?as long as they are girlfriends and bfs😂
17k Views and not even 600 likes
I guess there are several reasons
More than 6oo likes now. Troll😂
What about the women. Could they have multiple husbands or we should go to side boys?
No they cant.if she has 4 husbands, all want kids, every 4 years, each one have one kid and can a women have capacity to give birth every year straight for like 15-20 years? and when she is trying to conceive one husbands kid, she is unavailable to others otherwise all the gens are mixed etc etc. no one is sure whos kid is that .. and the list goes on and on
@@AQTech-od5ynmen don't marry only for children...they do so mainly to satisfy their sexual desires ...women too have sexual desires that need to be satisfied.
May Allah grant me 4 wives
Pray for me Brothers and sisters
I am a convert & facing this issue du to me not being able to have children. I can make sense of this in my head but .........HOW do I make my heart fall in line. My husband is the love of my life ... PLEASE ADVISE...
Best man in the world muhammed have more wifes❤❤
We dont need debate about that..
@49:00 women will NEVER take accountability for themselves. They’re not disciplined or adult enough. You know this yourself, sister Naima. What you’re saying here is in a fairytale world where women are logical and honest with themselves. This type of unicorn doesn’t exist or, at the very least, is among 0.1% of women in today’s world.
Polygamy is prevalent in societies and cultures where men’s desires and needs are more important than a woman’s. Women in the earlier days accepted polygamy because they were economically dependent and did not have a choice. When a woman has a choice, she will avoid it by all means.
Monogamous is normal - polygamy is deviation. Which man who claims to love his wife will hurt her by bringing another woman to share his life with.
not necessarily. Men are polygamous by nature as are the animals closest to us in DNA, for example monkeys and apes where the male will have multiple female partners. Many Muslim women and even non-Muslim will agree to be in a polygamous relationship. In times of war theres a surplus of women, those women also deserve love and intimacy. You can love two wives at the same time same as you can love two children at the same time
Deviation, really? Go look at your holy book and see if its not full of polygamy..
@@CodnGta : Humans are not animals... All problems in the world are because of humans - not animals. Wrong comparison...
@@tariqsheik2055 : If you are referring to the old testament, I would say that it is a deviation there also - not the perfect situation. God may have allowed it considering the number of men lost in battle and the patriarchy system that did not allow any financial independence or social support for women. One one Eve was created for one Adam.
@@CodnGta : War is a result of the fallen state of the world. In the perfect state, polygamy will not be required. The Bible clearly states that we are living in a fallen world - we accommodate many things - but that does not make it normal.
Christian here. Very eye opening discussion. Can women have more than 1 husband in Islam?
While it shouldn't be this way Mahdi, unfortunately, reality and the evidence on the ground says that to get married, one must be, as a prerequisite, a top 10% man. This is the case not just to get married, but for the mere consideration by parents and/or their daughters to get married. Ie, you won't even exist on the radar in the marriage market until then.
That's not true rather it depends upon your preference.
I think it's South Asian thing parents don't usually meddle in our marital affairs we choose our own spouses.
A marriage is technically an agreement contain few preset mandatory Clauses and any additional Clauses, with a collateral (dowry) placed against it, made officially under appointed authority, in the present of witnesses. ...it is bound by a Law specific to it as well as general Law, with addition to the Local Man-made law. Both party may further extend or add Clauses to the agreement, as long as it adhere to all of the other Law.
All these problems arises from people (public and the couple) didn't or did not seriously understand/treat it as an agreement. People have various perspective, expectation, knowledge, understanding, emotion, priority etc which tend to evolved over time.
Any cooperation 2 parties, even between brothers for a simple thing required some sort of an agreement (officially or not), and we talking about a LIFETIME cooperation between 2 stranger of different sex with multiple differences and yet enter the agreement without proper understanding/awareness of it..
It seems like you people are talking about orphan brothers and sisters. May Allah bless my community, here parents and elders do all the matching making work. They are heavily involved in good and bad times of marriage.
Not very common in England or can say Europe. People wana marry their own way or only cousin marraiges.
Secret wife cannot happen. It's a crime. Wife have rights over you to know who you are going to be with and having children. Marriage is all about to declare that this woman is my wife .
Get the 2nd, 3rd wives etc claiming Benefits. Thats the score isn’t it 😂
48:52 ... Naeema is trying to achieve an impossibility here that’s against women’s nature .. accountability .. it’s extremely tough to get a women to be accountable
The rib is bent brother. Have patience.
@@TheCastedone that’s kind of what I’m saying , holding women accountable is very difficult so don’t try too hard
Women are not accountable?? Huh?? Tell tht to the women disowned, honour killed. Girls that get raped r considered damage goods, grooming gangs victims were included muslims girls but their family didnt wana go to the police cz of 'what are ppl going to say'. Family care more abt family image than the well being of their daughters. Were as men can have their fun to get it out their system n be entitled to a pure women.
Some men get married bk home find a traditional women but yet treat them badly .. so how r women the problem..
@@butterfly-py2tx I think your a bit off topic here. Personal Accountability and good treatment of your woman folk aren't the same thing.
@@TheCastedone that's womanese for you. Another reason not to engage with them in the first place.
Never been married before dosent mean Virgin especially not when in late thirties .Can mean several previous boyfriends but No marriage , so lets not forget that
Sis not ur job to inspect believing women hymen.. If a sister says she virgin never married, ur opinion about her hymen means nothing? men who are not ur husband are not ur resp..think good of ur islamic sisters. 👍
@@capitalistvirgin2156 Read what she wrote properly before jumping in to correct someone.
@@capitalistvirgin2156 who said anything about hymen? all she said is women who aren't married aren't necessarily virgins (not all)
@@capitalistvirgin2156 i call projection on this one bud. What made u jump to defend womens hymen when nobody spoke about it? Little fishy🧐
@Alien Reject true. The most disgusting fact is that it is normalised.
That one Reason that he made it a joke and a smack sound effect and said she will agree she better agree or she will be smacked up and u better agree. Then he said she better do what I say 😮 wow. The fairytale life is this. But I respect them as people but I will find a husband and he shall find me. But women wake up do u want to be loved and love someone and still build and hve many kids. Just u 2
This sister is very intelligent and mature.
It is so sad that Muslim women have to ignore their intrinsic apprehension/disgust towards polygamy so that men stop having secret second wives. Wouldn’t it be better if men simply would never take on secret second wives and make a pact with their wives to discuss any issues before taking any such drastic, harmful and betraying steps such as taking secret second wives. One of the pillars of a healthy marriage is trust, and that pillar crumbles when men take secret second wives.
Wife should trust the husband if he wants another
@@prizma45 absolutely ridiculous patriarchal notion catering to men. Feel so so sorry for Muslim women that have to go through this crap
@@Quviyn Evolution/Our adaptations proves we are patriarchal
Polygamy was extremely important for reproduction back in the day, a king could easily gain enough children who would also marry and reproduce. This provided strength and power to a nation.
Polyandry wouldn't work because naturally men are the influence in marriages, men are usually in charge. Another problem is that if the woman has children, you're always gonna wonder who the father as opposed to easily knowing who the mother is. Lastly, you can only reproduce for 9 months at a time at best, you're not exactly going to produce a powerful nation as opposed to multiple wives where you could easily get 4 children in 9 months at times compared to one.
When a man marries, he has to provide, he has to give the desired dowry, he must provide protection for his wife. Is it unfair for men? Why not just give no gift? He is also obliged to provide her with her own home, each wive has her own shelter, is this not too much to ask?
Also having multiple wives is not something Islam encourages, only allows.
As for the supposed disgust, you haven't heard of groupies? Women who want to marry or engage in a relationship with men of high status? Obviously not all women are groupies, but it's not like groupies are rare like anti-matter.
@@prizma45 who taught you that???? Pick any western country, they are not patriarchal and they are, on average, doing really well. Forget western countries, look at certain areas of north east India, parts of Africa and China where matriarchal societies have existed for centuries and societies were flourishing. Your statements gives away your regressive outdated thinking. Disgusting
I believe polygamous marriages should have been manageable because Allah opened this door for the jummah especially considering the ratio of men to women but unfortunately woman in general are too high maintenance jzk
In the Quran it states the men are the maintainers of women. A brother cannot give money, he keeps her a hush, see her when ever. Doesn't that make the sister a booty call!! Respectfully.
What first wife can say when it's allowed in Deen and you are fulfilling duties of both.
I clicked faster than a Simp going to Tiffany’s.
😂😂😂
This video is long but I will say don't attack what Allah has allowed or you will lose
If God is doing injustice he is not true God god can't broak our harat he can't kill our soul with injustice
If a man is allow to have 4 wives even though Muhammad have 9 wives, what about the women, how many husband are they allow to have? If 72 Virgil's for the men in heaven, what about the women how many Virgil's of men for the women? Where will the Virgil's come from??? .....this only show how things is not fair for the women.
In Hope Almighty Said about this to Prophet Abram ( Peace be upon him )
Prophet Yaha ( Jhon the baptas) ( Peace be upon him)
Specially to Prophet Suleman (Solomon) ( Peace be upon him)
They were one However married to multiple wife
Muslims were allowed to drink at one point, many others had many wives than 4 until the verse came about 4 wives then those who have one or 2 can marry up to 4, clearly you speak without knowing, moses had many wives that means Jesus is not a prophet like moses whereas muhammad is then
@@youtubeaccount3230 not only Prophet Moses (Peace be upon him) had many, even The Prophet Abharam (Peace be upon him ) also had more than One Wife
Hi I’d like to know where I can buy your book
Astagfirullah Azeem. I had to take a shower after listening to this video 🤦♂️🤣
ربنا يغفر لنا ذنوبنا ❤️🤲
Astagfirullah I didn't do anything Haram physically, in case anyone was wondering or got creeped out. I'm saying that very weird thoughts came to my mind 🤣
What about the seccual needs of a woman?! Many women are now honest about their own desires and how their partners aren’t meeting those expectations. Sounds like men’s seccual desires are more important than women’s. And with the economy being the way it is, men are no longer providing for their wives. The burden of raising a family and helping their husband provide for that growing family is an astronomical burden on women. Honestly, the economy need to get better, and more men need to take the necessary steps to become better providers for women to even see the advantage of marrying in the 21st century. Right now, it’s a bad deal for women. Period.
Poliandry & Polygyny (poliyamory is the best ❤️)
Where is the advice on how to maintain a polygamous marrriage dos and don'ts? Why is the starting point always the negatives? Sisters should make it easier for brothers to take another wife!
@Momina khan Do you agree that's Muslim man can marry upto 4 wives??
@Momina khan maybAllah heal your heart. Who said its compulsory??
Who are you to speak for all sisters??
If a man can do all of the above, then what is your issue?
Are you suggesting that every polygamous marriage is that of unhappiness??
You seriously think that there are no sisters that dont mind to he in such a marriage??
Have an open heart and please dont look out only from the point view of jealousy which I know women and men have.
Secondly the sister can stipulate that as her marriage condition and so can the brother.
I myself sister have been approached by sisters 3 times who wanted this marriage. So please don't always assume that we men can't fulfil each other women right in Islam.
If a brother knowingly does this, then he is causing wrong ( dhulm ) and this is not allowed in Islam.
@Momina khan may Allah subhana watala bless you and your family in dunya and akhira, may Allah grant you and your family the highest place in Jana firdaws , and may Allah protect you and your family from every jealously, envious and evil devils from Jin and man. May Allah give you and your family and children good long happy and healthy life. Allahuma amin. Wish you all khair. Your brother in Islam
Make it easier? Why?
Sisters should make it easier?!!! Should?!! Why??!! What level of entitlement is this?!! 😳😳
Great talk ! enjoyed it a lot : )
Sister Naima mashaAllah!
Beautifully said Na'ima Robert's
Any woman would want Khabib. However, even Jeff Bezos and Bill Gates got divorced so I don't know what to think anymore
Lol what planet you living on? Khabib is a sub 5 male.
It's not all about money and status but your understanding of female nature. The more you understand how to deal with women and understand their nature the greater your likelihood of success with them.
Dude for Khabib no mahr required. I don't think highly of Bezos and Gates, their deeds and wealth will amount to zero on day of Judgment if they die as unbelievers. Let's be Islamic about this
@@taym2720 No he isnt.................. He is pretty handsome, russians look rough like that. In great shape, the greatest MMA fighter of all time, on his deen, and have loads of money and respect. 10/10 male
it might not have anything to do with intersexual dynamics, maybe being together would not fulfill the z10n15sts agenda.
I just want to tell this man ,affraied of Allah. As you did justice or not you know better n Allah.
Putting this in public foram n misleading all those who are watching it .
N the way these two praising their worldly achieved show they are full with arrogance ,which is the greatest sin.
May Allah give them hidayat n lead to Jannah.
Inshaallah, inshallah, ameen
what a discussion - wish I was here ealier - thank you for teaching me about this - I am considering Polygamy
Too many ads
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she doesn't even understand she's gone away from islam. Polygamy destroys live! come on!!! it's against Quran and sunnah. She needs to repent.
There is extensive research into polygamy and polyandry worldwide. it never works.. do some academic research
Which part of UK he was refering to at 1:12 ? People living there ... Any ideas ?
The best way is clear; Fear Allah for men and women. may Allah increase them in good…I can’t listen so long without hearing daleel…must have proofs and evidence from Qur’an Sunnah and Scholars…not what we think.
very good conversation