The Most Important 10 Words a Stranger Ever Said to Me
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- Опубліковано 9 вер 2021
- I am getting old...it is making me introspective...
So you're down here in the description, huh. Well, you should probably open up Spotify and subscribe to SciShow Tangents, which is a very good science trivia game show podcast!!!
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"Putting myself out there, is not natural for me."
- Hank Green, UA-camr, science communicator, author, podcaster, TikTok sensation, punk rock band frontman, and CEO
Like when Albert Pujols said he wasn't a homerun hitter.
Just because someone is good at something doesn't mean they find it easy, if they're good at it they tend to make it look easy. I try to remember this when I get jealous of someone, I think success is more hard work than it is natural talent for most people.
Just because it isn't natural for me doesn't mean I don't like doing it!
that is one hell of a job description lol
@@vlogbrothers THIS resonated with me. There are so many things in my life, and burgeoning career, that don’t feel natural but that I love doing. Thank you for normalizing that
Me wondering what the 9 words could be because “sneezing’s never normal, I never sneeze” is only 6 words
I had this thought too
That would be John’s version of this video
Sneezing is never normal, I do not ever sneeze.
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I just sneezed and I'm about to again
“I like this the way that some people like jumping out of planes” is exactly the same way I feel as a naturally introverted creator on the internet
Let me get this straight: You comment something that is unrelated to the fact that I have two HEAVENLY HANDSOME girlfriends? Considering that I am the unprettiest UA-camr ever, having two handsome girlfriends is really incredible. Yet you did not mention that at all. I am quite disappointed, dear üre
@@AxxLAfriku gr8 b8 m8
@@AxxLAfriku I like that you sought out a comment from someone with 700k subs in order to boost the number of people who see your comment. Your excessive polls and baiting seems to work well, considering your content is garbage that must be the case.
@@AxxLAfriku my three girlfriends, and yes, they smoke weed
@@racoon2623 lmaooo that's what I thought of
I cannot comprehend how, after all those years, apparently there are still stories left to tell. That goes to both Hank and John. I feel you both live your lifes way more extensively than I ever did.
I've got another one coming for Pizzamas too!
@@vlogbrothers You bet I stay tuned!
There are still stories left to tell but I'm pretty sure this one's been told before
@@vlogbrothers it feels like the last pizzamas just ended! I’m not complaining though.
Yes I was thinking the same thing!
"He's a huge nerd and he's dancing way too much"
Hank I'm like 15 years younger than you and you've retro-futuristically burned me
Lol...have you ever seen ME dance?
@@vlogbrothers Yes, Skibidi, you did it very well, they're one of my favourite bands
@@vlogbrothers I was wondering who had already said "but it's a self-burn"!
@@justbeyondthecornerproduct3540 "what holiday music do you like to listen to?"
Cue well co-ordinated Hank and Katherine dance break.
"Putting myself out there... is my extreme sport. I like this the way some people like jumping out of planes." Wow. That is an apt metaphor. That got me, Hank.
Analogy, but yeah, a good one.
I paused the video at this moment and let out a big "oh, daaaaammnnn".
It is a profound statement that I absolutely am here for.
That extreme sport metaphor struck home with me as well. Several years ago, my company had an single-afternoon improv comedy course, which gave me exactly that experience.
Also, it really motivated me as a person to try things, even if they're terrifying, especially if I'm not sure what others will think... even if my instinct is yelling at me to hide in a corner :s
I never learned how to dance. But I eventually did learn TO dance. It's been a small thing, but in a few instances in my life it has made me happy.
I so very much understand exactly what you are saying. I was a 30 year old man when I discovered this at my sisters wedding and it was almost like satori. Keep in mind I had been drinking for some time, but the moment remains nonetheless.
“I never learned how to dance, but I eventually learned TO dance.” - I love that. Rather profound and important!
@@emdeejay5515 Right?? Sounds like a quote that belongs next to a famous name.
@@41-Haiku Right! Hey, how about a famous name like, I don’t know, @HankGreen ? It works for me!
Yes!! This is a great way to describe it. And the dancing, the knowing where the limbs goes, gets easier even if those places aren’t nice looking moves and animations! When I started dancing even though I was willing I had no idea how to just move my darn body 😂
"I let her be one of the voices in my head, certainly not the only one, but one of them."
*certainly not the only one
This line demands to be in his next novel.
Sounds like a song lyric
I mean, is there any chance she was kidding?
@@hopegold883 While possible, I doubt it, if Hank is remembering correctly how she phrased it.
Maybe she wasn't impressed with the quality of his dancing, but the his self-confidence.
That was my first thought.
sure, likely even. Admiration can come from many different observations. I think the Admiration itself - whatever it stems from - is the point here.
I have had people say this to me about my own dancing, that they wish they felt as free as I look in the moment. It's not necessarily (or even usually) an endorsement of my technique, but envy at my shamelessness.
That’s what I automatically thought
Mabey but the meessage still holds true either way
Don't dance like nobody is watching - dance like everyone who's watching is impressed by you. 🖤
Yes
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I like this! Dance!!!!
This feels like an old school nerdfighteria video in a good way :') we love unironic enthusiasm and being yourself and not forgetting to be awesome
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a wild nerdtwit spotting! also +
I do miss this
Hank: I had misinterpreted cringe for envy
ContraPoints somewhere: someone call? 👀🧿
Envy to cringe sublimation: it's definitely a thing
This was my first thought
caught that too lol, we stan
yooooo a fellow contrapoints enjoyer
for some reason, that phraseology just fits contrapoints voice, too
I think I was in High School when this moment happened, but it might have been middle school. A girl in my class came up to me and said that she had been having trouble with her grades, or at least her parents weren't satisfied and they had suggested she ask someone who was doing well in school and get advice on what she could be doing differently. Now, I'm going to say this with all the humility I can muster, because it's going to sound like a brag (and I apologize ahead of time). She came to me to ask for advice and I realized that I didn't have any advice to give her. Because school came easily to me, I couldn't tell her "Ah, well, I study 6 hours every night" or "Make sure the first thing you do when you get home is finish all your homework" or anything like that because the best I could think of was "Well, I just pay attention in class and make sure to take good notes." I realized the only advice I had was probably so obvious that either she or her parents had already come up with that and it wasn't working for her. It was sometime later that I finally realized that most people think the stuff that comes easily to them must come easily to everyone else. And when someone else falls short, it must just be that they failed to take advantage of the talents they've been given. I see it all the time, as people who have never faced homelessness in their lives assume that people who have must have some kind of character flaw. Or that people who have been unemployed for a long time must really enjoy sponging off the government and haven't been trying hard enough to find work. Etc. etc. I'm sure you all could come up with your own examples. You don't know what anyone else's troubles are, and so if you see someone who is having difficulty with something you think is easy, try to remember that every person has their own set of things that come easily. They may very well wonder why you can't manage some other part of your life they think it simple. Perhaps like dancing.
Best comment I’ve read in a while, because we just forget we don’t experience the world the same.. even if we share the same moments in time..
Thanks you for sharing :)
Logical biases! Reading about them is fascinating, and catching one when it happens makes me giggle. People fall prey to them ALL THE TIME. You just described my two favorite biases, the "Curse of Knowledge" ("people think the stuff that comes easily to them must come easily to everyone else") and the "Fundamental Attribution Error" ("And when someone else falls short, it must just be that they failed to take advantage of the talents they've been given.").
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"I let her be one of the voices in my head, certainly not the only one, but one of them." I've found that it is so important to be cognizant of who we let dictate our perspectives. I'd love to let this perspective guide me towards being a kinder and more gentle person
Everybody should have a moment like that in their life. Most probably do. In high school, I overheard two girls in the hall between classes. One said to the other "I want you to hop on one foot all the way to class" (because SHE was already in a school group like Honor Society and the other girl was "pledging"). The other girl simply said, "I'm not going to do that." And walked to class with her dignity intact. I wasn't even involved in the interaction, but I learned at that moment that you don't have to bow to peer pressure. They have no idea.
It's incredible the way tiny moments like that one can ripple out and out and out. Years ago John posted a video where he said "there is no them, only more us". I don't remember anything else about the video, but I've been carrying those 7 words in my head every since. It's become how I live my life.
Similar story: years ago John posted a question Tuesday video and to the question “the meaning of life?” He said “other people”. Those words have lived in my head too.
If anyone remembers that video, I’d love a link to watch it. Thank you for remembering and sharing those words, Nelalvai.
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I love that quote-- had it listed at one of my favorite quotes on fb, back when that was a thing. From the video Nerdfighting in Bangladesh ua-cam.com/video/PEtIR0xHDfk/v-deo.html
@@ybkgirll53
I want to add a rendition I've also heard. Which may or may not be to you all's liking
"The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life, is to give it away"
“I know I wish I could dance like him too” - me whenever I see Hank or John dance
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One of the kindest compliments I've ever received was, "I wish I was brave enough to wear outfits like yours." I just think about her acknowledgement that people might judge my clothes negatively because they were different, but that instead she saw me as brave, enviable, and of having cool outfits. :)
I've been told something like that before and I honestly wasn't sure whether it was a real compliment or an underhanded one haha. Like I don't think they said it to be mean or anything, but I wondered if they secretly hated it lol. But I guess it doesn't really matter, as long as I feel good in it.
I´m guessing that´s the point.
“One woman’s beauty isn’t the absence of your own” is one of my favourites, and I do my best to apply it as widely as possible. I have a serious problem with perfectionism, and have spent a lot of time viewing other people’s accomplishments or desirable attributes as my own failures. In reality, just because I may see someone as more beautiful than me, it does not make me any less beautiful. Just because I think someone is smarter than me doesn’t make me any less smart.
Training my brain to think this way by default is a big personal goal of mine :)
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oof yeah i feel this, its really hard to deconstruct that framework of “i must be the absolute best or im a failure” but its so so necessary and good. wishing you well in your efforts for this 💜
@@chloeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee thank you ♥️
It also makes being happy for other people easier! “Congrats on ur accomplishment I hope to get there some day as well”!
@@lindsay4254 yeah definitely (and that especially is something that is really really really hard for me to feel)
I was at a youth dance one time, and was dancing enthusiastically (one of the things in my life where I felt like I could express my "muchness") when I turned around and noticed a few people who were clearly looking at me, laughing and pointing. They seemed to be looking in the vicinity of my feet. I felt shame, and dialled down my dancing.
I noticed that night when I got home that my white socks were completely black on the bottom, in a perfect footprint, as I had ditched my shoes at the dance.
It took YEARS before I pieced together (strangely out of the blue) that the other people at the dance were probably pointing to my socks, which in retrospect probably looked quite funny, and I was dancing in such a way that the the bottoms of my feet were visible.
How I wish that at the time I would have thought of that, and just kept dancing as enthusiastically as ever.
I cry.
This reminds me of when I was 15 or 16 and heard John say in a video that Sarah was 13 when she realized everyone else was thinking about themselves as much as she was thinking about herself. 11-year-old Hank had that same epiphany.
whoa! I thought of it too, high five
"I know I wish I could dance like him too." Hank, my friend, that is 10 words.
,,,,,,, i didnt realize that but youre right xD
.....oh hank
Glad I'm not the only one that noticed that lol XD
I bet some version of the script omitted the word "too"
So glad someone else noticed! I wonder if John will notice
I was in a mountain town in Georgia, USA with my wife and 2 young kids. Both kids were both being difficult. We got into a conversation with this older couple. The man was the kind of person you'd stereotypically expect to find in the Georgian mountains. But he shared a few words of parenting wisdom I'll never forget. "The days are long but the years are short." I now try to remind myself of that every day and it brings me so much more patience and reflection.
(Holy shit! That's 9 words too!)
You don't even need to be a parent for that. No matter how tedious it seems, every stage of your life will be over before you know it and you'll wish you had it back.
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This really helped me. Thank you
That's so profound
Fun factoid: that “accent” or affect is particular to the adirondacks and central upstate New York . A study was done a few years ago centering around the pronunciation of those words - elementary, documentary etc. and that particular group of humans are the only subset to pronounce those types of words with the ending TARY instead of the more commonly observed TREE ending. You’re welcome ☺️
Thank you! I was curious ( ◠‿◠ )
I'm from Connecticut and we TARY instead of TREE as well.
i’m from california and i talk like this though…. hmmmmmMMMMM
I say elementary as in elementary school with the tree ending, but documentary is doc-u-ment-a-ry (a pronounced "uh" and ry "ree"), hmm
Wow, I grew up in this area and say it like that, had no idea that that was an accent thing!
"The truth resists simplicity" and other vlogbrothers quotes along that lines has also helped me grow up understanding that there are different perspectives and ways of looking and that being valuable the way that person did like "oh that's different but not in a values judgement way"
100% agree, people need to be more aware and accepting of different ways of living and experiencing the world and doing things, even if they dont understand it
Easily my favorite vlogbrothers quote
I, a human who teaches slightly younger humans, needed to hear this today. You hit on exactly why I teach and how I want to make other people feel. I needed this bit of hope today.
Plot twist:
That girl was being sarcastic, but your wholesome openness and subsequent interpretation of her comment changed _HER_ whole life.
She never thought she'd be taken seriously, until that moment...
Underrated comment! Also, I totally want her to find this video (and now this comment, too), and remember the moment, realize this is about her, and leave a comment about her perspective of that moment. Here's hoping, however unlikely it may be.
My plot twist stopped at "sarcastic", thanks for showing me that even if I'm cynical it can still be turned wholesome if I continue a bit further.
@@ben-xl7ne gun, drugs, sex, heavy machinery, imagination; they're all the same:
It's how we use them that determines ruin or wellness.
This is why I don't get offended when people try to insult me by saying, "you try too hard". I understand the malicious sentiment behind the phrase, but it just doesn't strike me as a bad thing. Like, at least I'm trying, and trying persistently is called practice, and practice makes perfect. And even if I never get "good" at the thing, I rather try "too hard" and fail, than to not try at all and never know if I could have done it.
I agree! Somebody I'm very close to goes to excessive lengths to ensure he doesn't seem like he's trying too hard and I've always found that to be so strange and kind of contradictory because he tries so hard to seem like he's not trying hard. And then he judges other people for trying too hard. I never understood why minimal effort always seems to be a prerequisite for being "cool"
@@monkiram I guess they believe that people who are successful must find their thing to be easy or natural, when that's not necessarily the case. The difference between a child prodigy and an average but hard working child. Because anyone can work hard, but not everyone is "born talented at x" (is the mentality; not saying i agree with it).
SONDER
Noun. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own-populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness-an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
My favorite entry in that dictionary
Lovely! @Lil Jakey Pleasenthanks
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I think it is awesome that someone could show you that, but I also think it is amazing that she said something that she probably does not remember, and it ended up changing how you see things.
It’s truly beautiful
It shows how what we think of as little insignificant actions can have big consequences to others
@@a.goodwin4852 It also shows how we are culturally trained into being SERIOUSLY closed-off. Hank probably encountered plenty of similar moments that had the potential to provide that lesson, but it took that long for someone to actually say something about the moment. When we go about our lives feeling so much, but saying so little, it seems inevitable that we'll be on both sides of those events at some point.
My most important words from a stranger story: A few years ago I was going through a drive through (McD or Wendy's) and the total was $6.66. I must have made a face bc the middle age woman looked at me and said "It only has power if you give it power." That moment changed my outlook on so many ways I view the world and she'll never know it.
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What only has power?
@@monkiram the number of the beast, 666, associated with Satan in at least American Christianity
@@monkiram 666 is associated with the devil for some in the west (I say this bc it means to be skilled or proficient at something in China, bc homophones).
@@monkiramthe fact that the price was 666 would supposedly summon the devil or bad luck or whatever
I like the thought that I can choose what voices I let live in my head, especially voices that inspire me to want to be better in a good way.
i’ve seen you dance and i think you dance exactly how that boy probably did. i’m proud of you💫
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I jump out of planes for fun, and I am constantly amazed at both the similarities and differences between myself and Hank. Sometimes I feel like an alternate universe Hank. Thanks for being wholesome and awesome.
Ah, Action Hank.
Hank, if there was one person I could truly believe I could find a friend in, it would be you. You have the most amazing perspectives, you're profoundly insightful and one of the kindest, knowledgeable people I've witnessed. Dude, we need more people like you in this world.
What I find amazing is that each person watching this video could probably tell a similar story about the profound impact of someone else’s throwaway comment (for good or for not so good…) in their life story, and at the same time we might minimize the weight and importance of what we have to offer others. We all help write one another’s hero’s journey. Don’t forget to be awesome, friends.
"I know I wish I could dance like him too." Maybe it's not about how good of a dancer the guy was. But rather the fact that he cared so little what others (you, Hank!) might think of him dancing. Like "I know I wish I wasn't so restraint by my social fears"
I love those pieces of advice that really change your perspective. And sometimes I wonder if I've ever said something to someone that's stuck with them forever, and I've completely forgotten about it!
I'm sure you had good impact on many people, and most of these you don't even remember anymore.
Almost certainly, often times people say something that means nothing to them and everything to a stranger. I'm sure everyone reading this comment has at least one "I know I wish I could dance like him too" moment in their life. I know as a sentimental softy I have one of those moments for most of my friends, so by the law of averages you have almost certainly been that for someone.
Wow. Sometimes it’s like Hank and John are peering into my soul and know exactly what I need to hear. I guess there must be quite a few of us who needed to hear this. Thanks Hank!
These videos, even after all these years, still make me happy in a deeply human way. Like for a moment the shared firefly flashes of our lives coalesce into a single coordinated flash and I feel a part of a larger whole. That awestruck feeling and deep wonder at the world and our lives comes through in these videos and Hank and John, it is truly a gift. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing! What a beautiful metaphor.
"She had interpreted cringe for envy."
Both very good contrapoints videos, but quite easily discernable.
On the topic of simple words that change ones life: When I was in highschool I shared a pretty wild pseudoscientific article with my friend. I was pretty deep into a lot of new agey things at the time. Knowing this, my friend responded by sending a link to an experiment that debunked it, along with the phrase "Sometimes science knows things". "Sometimes science knows things" was the simple magic phrase that made me reconsider science to be a really engaging tool to learn things about the world- something I should have already known at that point, but I didn't. I'm a completely different person now- not solely due to that moment, but it was one part of it.
Wonderful, @Gage!
"I accepted her version of that reality" I wish there were ways we could break through the walls in our own realities to have experiences like this more often. When our beliefs are challenged and makes us truly question if they're correct. I remember years ago I was watching a DnD show with a friend and the party decided instead of just taking a lot of money as a reward to take an opportunity that was high reward but also extremely high risk and could have gotten everyone killed or imprisoned. I said it was the wrong move, they could have done so much with the money, and my friend said "but where's the fun in that? People don't play games to make the safe choices. We do that everyday. People play to take risks, have adventures, and create a story worth telling." and it changed me. It changed how I look at DnD and storytelling and life in general. Why stick with what feels safe and not put myself out there and take chances? You'll never create stories worth telling otherwise.
I'm falling in love with D&D. This resonates with me :)
I love this. As someone who deals with pretty bad social anxiety, I spend a lot of time assuming and coming up with narratives about what other people are thinking/feeling. But at the end of the day, I really have no clue. Not only can we not control what people think, sometimes we can't even predict it! And there's something really freeing about that.
My second wife was always trying to control how I dressed, concerned about how other people were going to judge me based on my clothes. I had already come to a point in my life where I didn't care what other people thought about how I dressed and I didn't care much myself. I told her I wasn't going to spend any mental energy worrying about such things but if she wanted to spend that mental energy, I'd wear whatever she thought best. Lo and behold, my current wife thought her taste in my clothes was bad. The thing of it is, I'm pretty sure that there are people who would look at what she wore and judge her, despite her efforts to avoid being judged. You can't please everyone and so my advice is to quit worrying about pleasing anyone but yourself (and maybe spouses/significant others, not exactly sure where I come down on that topic yet).
What took me a long time to realize is that most people don't think about me - they don't care what I wear, they don't care how I act, they have their own lives to think about. I've tested it out - and nope, most other people I run into in life don't think about me at all. That was incredibly freeing - I stopped worrying about it.
It's amazing how big of an impact only a few words can have, and we never know (as the listener or the speaker) which words will have that huge impact until later. It's worth keeping in mind for all of us.
This also speaks to how earnestly you see the world, Hank. I would've assumed she was being sarcastic 😅
Yep, me too
Were those 9 words "Hank, sneezing is not normal in the human condition"?
“I know, I wish I could dance like him too.”
There’s a plethora of reasons what this story was powerful to me in this moment. And because this is nerdfighteria I know I’m safe to geek out about it. :)
1) The title.
From my surface level understanding of psychology, I feel like that title set up my expectations for the story.
2) Hank Green.
It’s a vlogbrother video! When it comes to John and Hank a story is rarely just a story. I’m predisposed to look for a deeper lesson/meaning in their stories because that’s the kind of environment they’ve cultivated.
3) I get it.
I’ve experienced stories like this. I got to follow up with one such stranger in my own life today actually!
Times when the mundane actually holds so much depth are beautiful to me and I’ve experienced them many times.
4) The idea.
The idea that strangers can become (sometimes very loud) voices in our heads is a concept that often takes up residence in my own head. It makes me think about how I act. It makes me want to be kind.
Thanks for nerding out!
Great reply, @Emma Hacker! I can relate to all you say.
I WISH I COULD DANCE LIKE YOU TOO HANK can't believe a middle aged man is my dance idol but it's true
If dancing is a state of mind, then yes, Hank is the idol of dancing.
Oh fun, I’m not the only one who thinks too much about summer camp subcultures
I love it when you introspect, Hank. These are very useful thoughts. Thanks to that girl, wherever she is.
as an autistic trans person this is something i have to work thru a lot. ive only realized over the past year how much society has boxed me and so many others in, and im trying to do the work to be able to more authentically be myself, help others find their authentic selves too, and break down society’s boxes in general so that people arent harassed and hurt and oppressed for taking up space. this is a v helpful and good story, and i think its a good moral to take into our lives and work. thank you hank 💜
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That was beautiful. Good luck 👍
As an autie recently diagnosed your words struck a chord with me. I hope you find the courage you are seeking to become your true authentic self.
@@dvshasri thank you 💜 same to you
im glad my words coud help you
i always end up with the feeling like you put more information in my head in less than four minutes than sometimes entire books
Some years ago I was sliding down into the alt-right, down the usual route. And I decided to watch Philip DeFranco's news videos. I don't really know why, I think it was just because I was sick of youtube drama and he didn't report on it.
In one of those videos he said that someone who at that time I would describe as an SJW (derogatory) might possibly have a reason to think and act the way they do. He wanted to know what it was. It was like a lightbulb moment, like changing a youtube video from 240p to 1080p.
It permanently shifted my entire worldview for the better.
I no longer watch The DeFranco show. I had to untangle myself from the media cycle for my own mental wellbeing.
But Phil saved me with those words. They're a pillar of all I say and do to this day
This was a nice thing to read. I’m so glad you found something to latch onto that reminded you to put yourself in other people’s shoes and try to understand where they’re coming from. I think we all could use a reminder about that these days, especially when it comes to folks we disagree with. Keep fighting the good fight my dude.
Two weeks into my first year of college and I have not been able to escape my own judgemental, acceptance-driven thoughts for more than a half-hour. And then this video popped up. I keep trying to find ways to make friends, I haven't found a circle yet and I feel it probably is due in large part to the fact that I don't drink or smoke, and my social anxiety allows me to feels intimidated by and different from those who do (almost everyone in my dorm). This quote is something I needed to realize that maybe everyone isn't looking down on me atm. I just need to keep my head up. One day at a time. Thanks, Hank. Fitting in has always been a point of anxiety for me. This video lightened that load a little bit.
Smoking is nasty and will kill you, so good for you for NOT smoking. And SOMEBODY needs to be the designated driver to get the drinking folks home safely. You could try different activities until you find your crowd.
I got through 4 years of college without smoking one cig or being drunk once - and I made friends! So it´s possible.
I had one of those moments too! I was complaining to a friend about how I hate that my face gets really oily whenever it's windy out. And she said "You must have a really smart face!" (i.e. my face gets oily to protect the skin from drying in the wind). It's stuck with me for years because it was a moment in which I didn't really realize I was putting myself down, and she just automatically turned it into a positive.
This was truly among the most beautiful and wonderful videos I have ever watched on UA-cam. Thank you Hank, luv y’a :)
Over the past year and a half (maybe more, who knows at this point) I've been writing a video essay. Which is something that I've wanted to do for a long time and because of A Certain Something there was finally time to do it. It's finished now. I've read it and reread it and it feels complete in my eyes, which is something I never thought I'd accomplish. But I can't bring myself to film it. A lot what I'm feeling in relation to what I wrote can be summed up in this video. It really made me feel better. God I guess I need to find my camera charger.
@@kingavenuemusic i appreciate it :,-)
Charge it! 😁 @Julianna King
Film it!
Even if it's not perfect, you'll have learned something by doing it. The practice on this one will help you on the next one :)
@@oneofthemany7322 thank you so much!! this is such wonderful motivation
@@juliannaking8753 I would watch it too! :)
Thanks for this, Hank. I work at a school where there is a lot of bullying going on so I make a point of praising and rewarding kids for things other kids may tease them about (not in a tacky way, but like genuinely). Sometimes this gets tiring and I'm tempted to stop but now I have this reminder that maybe just one kid needs to hear that this random adult thinks she's cool.
Letting yourself take up space is an enormously impactful decision. I’m so glad you decided to take up that space and be courageous. May we all take up our unique spaces.
I had a very similar experience, except in my case, I felt self-conscious and insecure about my dancing. A cool, older girl (who danced really well) noticed and told me to just go out there and forget everything and everyone else and just dance. I felt so free that night. I had so much fun. She helped me realize how good it can feel to freely be myself.
I've counted a few times now... It's 10 words, not 9
Man. I was that kid once, in a low-budget cruise ship with my band class on the Puget Sound. I kind of became aware of myself and how ridiculous I looked, and I became profoundly embarrassed. And I've been mildly embarrassed about it throughout the two decades since. I can only hope that it inspired a moment like the one you had in summer camp. Thanks for letting me know that this kinda shit happens.
To add another layer to this, I've always felt like people might understand that other people think differently, but rarely does anyone understand someone else thinks _better_ than them until it hits them in the face. Not to say that "better" isn't subjective, but there are moments in my life where I do something I think is normal and good, and then watch as someone else does something surprisingly better that I never considered an option. Those hit me like a truck. Humility is something we all need to be attuned to, I think.
As a natural cynic, here's my thought: What are the odds she was being sarcastic and Hank misinterpreted it as sincere? In that case, we owe (in part) this entire community and all the good Hank has done to him incorrectly assuming good will on another person's part -- which would be entirely characteristic of his native optimism.
I had the exact same thought 😅
What are the odds that this doesn't matter at all? All we know is what Hank remembers, and he remembers her being sincere. Any other interpretation says a lot about you, and nothing at all about her.
This hits close to home, I have one of these stories too, funny how little things can push you at a critical time
I will say that there have been moments in my life, particularly after becoming a parent, but especially after having lived a childhood that was filled with bullies. I have seen kids standing in judgement of the oddball kid at a school dance (or other situations) where they looked on with a cringe, thinking that the kid was embarrassing him/herself and I have said to the child-onlooker almost exactly what this person said to you. I knew that the kid wasn't looking on with envy. I did this so that I might help change that kid's perspective of what they are seeing. More often than not it actually worked and there were even times when the kid that initially thought the crazy dancing kid looked weird ended up getting out on the dance floor and became that crazy dancing kid too. I love that this person changed your outlook on how you see other folk that might do things a little different than you do. As you can tell by my comment, I was that weird dancing kid as a child and as a parent I ended up chaperoning a lot of school dances while raising my 3 children... all crazy dancers! :) I always enjoy your videos. You and your brother make me hope that my two boys might one day be just as awesome and inspiring as you two are. They are well on their way.
What I like most about that story is how some small moment that is not likely not even remembered by these two people had a huge impact on the third. It’s like you never know how or who’s life you have affected in ways you are totally oblivious to.
This feels more like a John video than a Hank video (and I'm here for it!).
So interesting how some people have a huge influence on our lives but we’ll never get to tell them!
I’ve started working on being my authentic self, simply because I want to, and if someone else doesn’t like the w/e, because this is me and they can deal with it.
I work with kids, so I feel like it’s extra important to be my authentic self, to show them that it’s not boring to be an adult.
This is why your words MATTER. what you say to people can stick with them for years or decades or their entire life. it can shape their outlook on life, how they approach certain topics, and maybe it becomes a more or less motto for them. my first ever pride, i was barely out of the closet, overwhelmed with emotion and frustration that i STILL didn't feel comfortable in my skin and didn't fully have the words to explain who i was. person standing next to me said "oh baby, it's okay to cry, it's my 15th pride and i still feel that emotion. you just be you. be unapologetic!" gave me a quick hug and skipped off down the street. i have remembered that moment all these years later. 30some seconds, a hug from a stranger in a rainbow tutu and angel wings, and it changed my entire life.
Ive always wished I could dance like no one was watching
That's not 10 words?
"I know, I wish I could dance like him too."
Yeah, that bit was a tad confusing.
Technically, "I" is used three times, so it's only 7 words. Even more confusing!
@@TheRealKLT well, 8, you do have to count “I” one time :)
@@TheRealKLT woah woah 😳😳. This guy's living in 4 dimensions
@@lucypatton42 lol, true.
A+ : net improvement of nerdfighteria with this essay.
Well done, Green.
"I know I wish I could dance like him too," thanks for reminding me why I became a writer.
I love taking things people don't mean as offerings as offerings :)
(...in a good way, that sounds kind of bad out of context maybe haha)
Andy Skampt Vibes
The best offerings come when most people wouldn't pay attention.
That is 10 words, not 9
that was a good two-fold reminder that my words and actions have a bigger impact on others that I ever anticipate and that other people think differently and more kindly than me
I don't remember exactly who said this to me, but I heard "never mock what people do for joy". I remember hearing it in a season where I (a musician) was following these few local bands and digging either their stage show or their promo strategy, just different aspects of being a working band that they were doing well. And a fellow musician of mine ridiculed them for being a pop band or a "chick band" or some less-serious thing than his band presumed to be. That guy's band is dead now. The band I was following started a tribute act and is booking up and down the east coast now. Their fans follow them. They sell out ticketed venues. They bring people joy.
First
As annoying and unimportant these comments are, the fact that I've finally done it is incredibly cathartic. IVE DONE IT. I WAS FIRST.
@@Norundithus congratulations on the catharsis my dude
I've since refreshed and I was indeed not first. The disappointment is immeasurable and my day is now ruined.
@@anatypicallyhumanperson7200 It was all a lie. I'm a failure. But for a moment, before I refreshed the page, I was ELATED
So inspiring
Putting yourself out there is what being human is all about!
Were all glad to have you, it's crazy how one little moment can change the entire course of history, the butterfly effect is a crazy and beautiful thing, thanks for sharing this little moment with us that impacted you so much, little moments are what to live for
And that's why I watch vlogbrothers. Simple sincere stories that are relatable, but somehow still life changing. Keep changing my perspective, thank you!
This is such a good point. You just never know who might connect with you or what about you someone might admire even though you don't think anything of it.
The words that really changed my life was one of my teachers encouraged us to “Run towards fear. Do the things that scare you.” And it really changed my outlook
The most important words anyone ever told me. (For context, I have very very low self esteem and measure my worth based on my grades, with a lot of additional pressure from my parents)
I was in an acting class, and our teacher gave us a script and told us to memorise it in 10 minutes. I didn’t think I could do it, as I don’t work well under time constraints and generally wasn’t feeling great that day. I was lying on the floor, on the verge of a literal anxiety attack, and the teacher comes over and tells me to sit up (this is a co-curricular class so it’s very relaxed) and he told me to face him and he said this to me:
“You’re worth more than a mark on a page.”
It was the most important thing I ever heard, and I try really hard to not compare myself (it’s not really working, but it’s a start)
i completely relate with this. seeing things from different points of view can be lifechanging and beautiful and i'm so grateful for all of those moments where someone else made me see things through better eyes.
I love that this video is basically my ethos; you never know what you’ll say or be remembered for in a person’s life or where they’ll be when they receive it. It’s super important to be kind and it’s super important to be yourself.
It’s amazing how sometimes something very obvious can be so helpful when you hear it from someone else. One time when I was like 18 or 19 I was very frustrated because of the events of the day, and my brother told me to calm down.
Me: “Telling an angry person to calm down will only make them more angry”
Him: “You could just not be angry”
He didn’t mean it as some profound sermon, but I was like “oh dang he’s right” It was like a switch flipped and I realized that my emotions are something I can actively reflect upon and address. Not so far as simply choosing to feel a different way, but at least ponder why I feel something and reframe how I’m thinking about it.
You and John are to me what that stranger was to you. Your words sooth and empower me more than any other creator or person ever really has.
My wife thinks we are always "be-caming" we are constantly transforming. I think I believe her.
There are a few of those little sentences that live in my head rent free. One of them was just an internet picture I saw a few years ago that said "Remember you can't save everyone. Remember you have to try."
And one was in an old Jenna Marbles video where she was talking about 29 life lessons she learned in 29 years and she said "I don't live with regrets, because when I look back at something I wish I hadn't done, I just remind myself that I made the best possible choice for myself I could based on the information that I had in that moment. And that's all anyone else is doing too." It has made me so much kinder to myself and to the choices of others too. We're just doing the best we can.
You don’t know how much I needed to hear this today. I didn’t know how much I needed to hear this today. Thanks man
I have watched this multiple times with my 12 year olds who often experience second hand embarrassment. All I ever want is for them to be their true authentic selves, even if they are uncomfortable and worried what other people might think. I’m hoping the seed you planted here grows!🌱
I’m hesitant of redirecting my career but wanting, needing to because it doesn’t align with me anymore.. yet I’m super scared of showing myself for real.. this really helped. Thank you!
What a fantastic perspective shift. I love stories like this, and you tell it so well. I think it's always great to be reminded of things like this.
I think a possibility we can consider is whether she said that not because that's why she genuinely felt but because she knew that's what you (or anyone else feeling similar second-hand embarrassment) needed to hear. In essence, she was using her social capital both to give some social capital to the nerd and to spread the sentiment that dancing your heart out (and more generally, being unironically enthusiastic) should not be considered embarrassing -- it should be considered empowering.
Thank you hank, this is the by far my new favorite video. I needed this and I’ll continue to work on changing my mindset to the one of her. She’s far wiser than her years
This is such a lovely story. I love how those tiny moments can impact us so profoundly.
It’s on the level of “be the change you want to see in the world”
I am tired of my boring plain town and so I started being different, unique, and weird. So others in my town may be able to be weird as well ❤️