Your videos are very educational as a 13 year old, I now know so much about DID so thank you for posting theses videos to make people aware and teens like me b/c I know people ESPECIALLY teens are quick to judge. Thank you.
I agree completely. I'm only 15, but this channel has brought to light not only information about DID, but as I looked into it more information about attachment theory. I'm even taking psychology my junior year of high school, which I'm quite excited for. Having anxiety and depressive disorders has been difficult, and I didn't know how to really handle it when I was diagnosed, but educating myself on these disorders and others as well has become a way to understand and connect with a part of myself I didn't know I even had for so long. I don't think I would have even tried had it not been for the DissociaDID system. So thank you for doing what you do, because it's changed my life!
When I was 12/13 years old (2013-2014) I heard about DID as well, through videos of people experiencing it but at the time people were so less accepting! I am 18 now and I am so much more informed about DID (also thanks to this channel) cause there is so much more information about it and more people talking about it. So I want to thank this channel especially because it has brought to my knowledge so much more information about this disorder! Me being someone with social anxiety and dependent personality disorder, I can understand struggling with a disorder I want to take psychology in university since I have always been curious out the human brain c: (Btw I am Italian so sorry if I made some spelling or grammar mistakes)
I know you said you don't believe that you're a good speaker, Chloe, but I truly believe that I, and possibly many others, were drawn to the channel by your eloquent words and your wonderful, welcoming energy. You always have an amazing air of understanding and want for others to understand as well. I knew next to nothing about DID before finding your channel, and had little to no interest in it at that, and now I follow you, the Pinata system, the Entropy system, and so many others. I don't even remember how I found you to begin with, but I'm so so glad I did. I think, through your videos alone, you have taught me so much not only about DID, but how to be kind to both friends and strangers, and how to accept that which initially seems strange to me that I may learn more about it. Thank you, Chloe, and all the other alters who have been willing to post on the channel. I'm so glad to know all of you, even if you don't know me.
I also have DID and I am moving out of my abusive family home very soon into emergency safe accommodation and then into long term supported housing. I hope this move will be healing for us and I hope your move will be healing good and empowering. A lovely video, Chloe ❤️
There was a time that I was deathly afraid of bathrooms and any room that had at least one unmovable mirror. I still cannot relax with when it’s dark and there’re mirrors nearby, but I can function normally now. Your videos really help a lot, even those who don’t have DID. Thank you for sharing and teaching.
"I wanted it to be the for me, I tried my best to make sure it was the end for me" It's hard to talk about suicide, especially if you attempted it, I'm so proud of you, so so proud
You are such a light in this world (not just Chloe, but also the system as a whole). The impact this video in particular has made on me alone is proof of that. Thank you for being alive
This, this hit me hard... I’m stuck in a self loathing cycle, and I feel so so worthless... but but I know I can change, I know I can heal, and this video has made me realise that i can do it, that I can heal if i try💖 Lots of love to you all🥰
Christian F. Thank you, so much💖 I’m working on it, I’ve got good support but sometimes I’m hit with a wave of grief and longing and it starts the cycle all over again😔
Natalie, I hear you. Your feelings are valid and you have every right to feel them. I'm here to tell you, Do not give up - do not ever ever give up. Like you I was full of self-loathing my whole life. Finally at age 55 I made the decision to heal. Then i went out and looked for help. I tried different things - some helped for a little while, some didn't help, some set me back. But I did not stop because i felt that i was here for a reason and I could not find that reason if i was lost in the dark. Something that really struck me once: A therapist asked me what I would say to someone small and scared and full of self hate - perhaps someone who was disfigured or had a disability. What would i say to them? How would i convince them they have value - that they matter? I ask you the same question. What would you say to them? Do you believe in what you just said? Now listen to yourself say it out loud. Decide now - you do not have to do anything else just decide. Then follow your intuition to the sources of healing that work for you. Sending you lots of love and healing. Your friend, alex
Thank you so much for mentioning the effect of mental health on one's ability to take care of themself. I struggle with multiple mental illnesses that sometimes keep me from being able to do even the most simple of things and my family calls me lazy because of it or say that I'm "wallowing". Anyone going through this I want you to know you are not alone and it's ok to take the time to let this pass because it WILL pass. It's ok to reach out for help and it's ok to put yourself and your health both mental and physical first. It doesn't make you selfish and it doesn't make you a bad person. You are going to be ok and you are SO strong. We love you! Don't forget that. You are precious, irreplaceable, and infinitely lovable.
This new filming space, the jasmine and all, makes me so so happy. It really reflects your own positivity and beautiful spirit (to the whole system). Thank you for sharing all of that with us. 😊 I'm so excited to see you reach 100k, because definitely more than 100k people deserve to enjoy your videos and this community.
4:48 Just wanted to add that sometimes even those commitments can feel impossible but you can take even tinier steps and that can make self-care easier. If committing to cleaning your teeth twice or once a day is too hard, you can say, "Nevermind cleaning my teeth forever, I'm going to brush my teeth NOW" or even "I'm going to go into the bathroom and put toothpaste on my toothbrush." Often just beginning a task even the smallest bit can engage your brain to complete it and that's the important part, actually doing it.
I am so glad you all are still alive. I don’t have DID, but channels like yours have made a huge impact on my life. And this video made me realize I could work to show my appreciation in general more often. Thank you for all you guys do.
This is PRECISELY where I am right now: stuck living with my emotionally abusive parents. I'm currently trying to make peace with being stuck in their house for a few years at least. So I'm trying. Thank you for posting this.
I can't believe you weren't in a safe home yet. And i'm happy to know that you are now. I am fascinated by you and your story, i have severe PTSD and you thaught me so much about healing and triggers and how to help myself. And it kinda makes me wish i lived closer by, i would love to actually meet you in person and have a chat. Sending love, Irene.
Chloe, you are incredibly strong and inspiring. I didn't realize you were still in an unsafe environment and it breaks my heart to hear. I, too was stuck in a place where it was difficult to heal and I understand the helplessness it can bring. I do not have DID, but I struggle with mental illness and this video was something I needed to hear. Thank you. Don't ever think that there is no purpose for your life or the suffering, because you are living that purpose and it so brave and you are touching the lives of many, including mine.
Chloe, and everyone in the dissociaDID system: You are such a wonderful empathetic person. It’s been so amazing watching you grow into your channel and gain so much confidence. You’re such an eloquent speaker and it’s horrible to hear you mention that people make unpleasant comments about your teeth or your mental health. It’s fantastic that you’ve taken the trauma you incurred in childhood and turned it into such a positive for a quarter of a million people. I’m glad UA-cam has helped you gain your safety and independence, and I’m sure your entire fan base feels that way. Thank you for everything you do.
I'm what they call a 'singleton' but I have found this channel not only educational about DID but also a little lesson to myself that I do need to pay attention to people around me, not just judge at the first impression but really listen and think 'they may have things going on that you know nothing about', it may seem quite strange to hear someone say they needed this lesson, especially at the age I am, but because of my own experiences i life I have found myself getting less and less empathic something I've realised over the last year or so. Something I am now making an effort to change, after-all I was lovely when I was a kid, and I'd like to see something of that person back in my life. Thanks Chloe for all your work, this isn't just useful to the DID community, it's useful to all those who feel they may have lost a part of themselves along the way.
I can tell that some things were kind of hard for you to talk about, but we all appreciate how you are so brave to talk about your struggles with us for education, thank you so so much Chloe (and the other alters)
Dearest Chloe and the entire DissociaDID system. I've been following your channel since about September 2018... I've wanted to reach out to you many times to thank you for being an anchor throughout my healing journey. While I don't have DID, I've found much of what you've shared to be relevant to my situation somehow. I want you (all) to know how grateful I am for your vulnerability in making this channel... and for sharing your growth work publicly. I adore you so very much... and I love you from the purest place in my heart. Biggest hugs to all of you who want them, high-fives and head nods to the others. As a mother, I would be SO PROUD of you as my child -- which, I was SHOCKED to discover how young "you" are (trying to word this to acknowledge the system's varying ages; I mean the body's age)... Well done, darlings!!!! You should feel quite proud of what you've created here!!!! CONGRATULATIONS on your up coming 1-yr DissociaDID birthday! You are seen. You are loved. You are magic!
I'm so happy you didn't care what people thought, and i'm so happy that you didn't stop making videos! Because without your videos i don't think i would be alive right now... I don't have DID but i find it very interesting to learn about, and you're just an amazing, nice person. You can make me smile when nothing else can, you can make me feel like someone cares about me. thank you for that, i love you.
u motivated me to get out of bed and brush my teeth... also put some skincare on... this doesn't sound like much. but i am so grateful and wanted to say thank you for that. it feels good to not be alone...
My ex fiancee had borderline personality disorder we lost her a month ago this really helps w self care rn. Uni or not your all in education now because you've all lived it, thank you for everything. Love the whole system 🤗
You've opened a door in my mind that has allowed me to see myself. Your channel has been the start of a journey to inform myself and also a journey inward to meet myself. Thank you for that.
Everything you said in this video is so impactful and important, and it really hit me hard.... I’m not in an unsafe environment and I haven’t been through any trauma, but I do have a lot of mental health issues and I’m autistic. The last year in particular has been really awful for me with depression, and last month I decided not to go to university because I just can’t study anymore and I realised that I need to focus on myself and healing (both physical and mental health), so the things you were saying really hit home and reinforced that I made the right choice. It doesn’t matter what pace I live my life, there’s no right timescale for life.... thank you for starting this channel, you’re an amazing person and you’re definitely a massive inspiration to continue fighting for myself and doing the best I can, however “little” that best may seem to other people. I’m very glad you’re in a safe space now 💗
not me saying I haven't been through any trauma lmao, I clearly did not understand the complexity and variations of trauma when I commented this bc I most definitely have been through trauma
2:33 When Chloe used armour as an analogy I realised it's a great analogy, because people wear armours to protect themselves, but wearing an armour 24/7 is not good, you will get hot, and heavy, and just be more miserable overall. You need to remove your armour every once in a while, for your own safety, even though it sounds absurd
As a chronic pain patient i can understand the not being able to maintain regular upkeep, having to give up life goals... And losing control over your life. Bits and parts of what you're saying are so much of what I go through. With mental health issues and multiple chronic health issues especially invisible diseases that can NOT be seen from the outside.... Family and friends do not understand. I can honestly say I've lost the majority of the people i thought were friends, at 23 to say i have this disease and they don't see anything wrong with me... They didn't believe me so they disappeared. Im still being diagnosed with new conditions at 33...This is why i came over from Jessica's channel. You were just so bubbly and with CFS is something i understand so well it was one of my first conditions I was diagnosed with. Please never stop posting.
I feel that way everyday and cannot understand it. I feel like because I’m suppose to live and act the way my small town and family, I cannot act what’s wrong with me or in a sense, be who I am. DID is not acceptable here and I have this huge urge to leave but I cannot due to my children. It’s sometimes a hopeless feeling. This episode made me cry for hopeful and validation helped me put words to what I’m actually feeling. You give me a sense of importance and meaning for me that I have never gotten. Someone who is across the ocean has been a life saver, that person is you. I feel like I understand myself more when I listen to you. For that, and for that I thank you.
Keep on beeing strong! I don't know you and you don't know me. But I am sure that you deserve hope. (Sorry if there are any spelling errors not a native speaker)
I started making a list of “milestones per day” in my journal to make myself understand how strong I can be by adding a single red tick in a box everytime I manage to accomplish something; and I’m talking also about apparently small things such as taking a shower, washing myself, change my clothes, ecc. I think that treating healthily my body (eating cleaning my body, having a steady biological clock) is something I struggle with, because is a twisted and smart way to punish myself for my “weak side”, but I’m getting there and this method I’m using is really helping a lot. Healing is possible, guys, really. And this is a safe space to admit it, thanks to the dissociadid System
It's not even a year later AND you have a PARTNER system, you have MORE thrice the amount of subscribers, you're going to speak on a DID conference this november, and biggest of them all (imo) you're flippin' ENGAGED! You're engaged! That's incredible! You've truly succeeded, I think. I really do.
I’ve never related to anything anyone on the internet has said to me more than I have this video. Thank you so much for making this channel. And thank you so much for the pep talk
what i find most inspiring is knowing life doesn't have to amount to just surviving, i might've been content with simply making sure in my life i don't hurt anybody because of my own pain, the bar was as low as i hope my existence is neutral, but i prefer the now in which i can believe any of us will make it through and rise above, we can all make a positive change and reaffirm our worth in all the goodness we can bring into the world, i could think of nothing more admirable for myself than responding to the bad things life has dealt me with rebellious constructive powerful positivity, as hard as the wind blew trying to blow out this candle is as much oxygen i can take in to burn all the brighter, stronger, and bring light to every traveler passing by me v_v i'm gonna keep holding on, thank you for everything so far and for all the posibilities you've helped me see in my life's map
And I hope that even 1 year later you guys don't forget how you still make a difference on people's lives and how amazing your channel is! Hope you're safe and healing, this wasnt a nice year at all ❤️
I'm so happy I found your channel. I'm going through a hard time right now and I'm stuck in this mindset of "no, I don't deserve help, it's easier to just give up", it's taking my will to live away from me. I'm terrified of being diagnosed with something I don't want, but seeing your recovery, seeing you healing and growing after getting help, this might be the thing that pushes me to seeking help. I'm done with suffering on my own, I'm tired of living like this and I want it to get better. It has to. If you could recover, I can recover too. We all deserve happiness. Thank you, thank you for opening up and reaching out to everyone with a positive message. Thank you all
I’ve always felt invalid because I live with my abusers I want to stay with them to protect my sisters and pets. I’ve always felt like I couldn’t do anything to help myself and I was an idiot for never reaching out despite the negativity it had on my mental health. But I think I can. I think I can try. Thank you.
I'm finally moving out of my mother's home in a few weeks. My two little brothers will stay here a while... I don't know how much time I could have moved out sooner but yeah, they're young and they needed some sort of support. But this is your life. You're the one living it. We deserve to be loved and cared for, and validated. We're humans. We are capable. This will be better. One day we will be safe and happy, surrounded with persons and peta we love, and this day we will be able to remember what it was like and say "yes , I did it!" Love from a stranger ❤️
I do not recommend watching this video at lunch at work like I did. Trying to hide your tears is hard! DissociaDID you are so lovely and I am glad I found your videos. You are a pleasure to watch and thanks for sharing so much of yourself!
Newly diagnosed with DID and bpd. Your videos are so helpful and we really really appreciate this video especially. We grew up being told and believing that if we didnt be who we were told to be that we were worthless and a waste. Thank you. You make us feel loved and important ❤❤❤
I really suffer from depression and such, and you're absolutely correct. I was able to get myself out of a toxic household, but I wasn't able to realize I needed healing until I left to live with someone who took care of me. So I was able to take big steps by getting out of the beginning environment. But school, my bed, the bathroom, these are all places that can overwhelm me and make me shut down inside. I can't just not go to these places, so I have to learn to survive in them despite how hard it is. Love all you guys, and thank you for all your videos ❤
This. We have been always trapped by this. When we were younger we lived in our unsafe and triggering environment, then we moved 4x during the year and 4x our apt building caught fire(while we were at classes) forcing us back in our home that wasnt safe. Then 5 years ago, we took a leap, cleared out our bank account and took a greyhound to the other side of the country. Everything was beginning to look up, but then at work, we had an extremely traumatic experience that pushed us into therapy(which i had started in hs but stopped bcs i ran out of funds) and also got us to get an official Dx. Added to my CPTSD, i have PTSD from that workplace trauma and again my living environment is a trigger/reminder. It's hard. I dont know how to fix this because i dont have anymore energy to move. Between all my moves there has been so many hospital visits and bcs of the stress, our immune system got extremely compromised and i now have a rare stress condition that results in sporratic bouts of anaphylaxis. My healing plan HAS to involve minimizing my stress bcs it can kill me(and almost did, i wear scars of resusitation for it). Where i live now, my home and the actual city is a trauma trigger and what i woukd like to point out is that added to these poignant traumatic events, mixed in are experiences of trauma based on racism. Some of us have to choose, when we have moved and done research, what kind of trauma can we shoulder. I ended up on the other side of Canada based around the sacrifice of having to face or work through racialized situations(more than i used to) for the gain of medical help and ease of access. Finding therapy and mental help was excrutiatingly hard before we moved. Many times we ended up settling and using therapy time to brainstorm with our therapists how to get recomendations for the help i actually needed because once they got into my childhood and amnesia, they would realize that i needed something more. Ive had horrible experiences with therapy that has resulted at times, in hospital stays. But since my last recent trauma, i put my foot down. I can't keep moving. Its costly and taxing on all of us and we don't have the funds and we dont want to start therapist searching from scratch again. We needed this video bcs we had started to feel defeated, like this is as good as we are ever going to get. Thanks for giving us that push with this vid, to keep trying bit by bit. That the person others are pining for and feel like I'll return to being, isn't me...wasnt me and although we have DID we cant keep pretending to be the person we are not(if that makes sense) that host is gone and I now have the job of picking up where she left off. This is and has been a very dificult time for us/me but it has been made less so by us finding your channel. We were actually able to use a video of yours in therapy as my evidence to my therapist of " we have similarities, look how they are thriving, getting me evaluated for this can only help" after many sessions of memory work where i always ended up in tears and switching(to Butch) because i only have some growing up memories. Anyway, we are so grateful for you and your suggestion when i asked for PoC DID channels. Axolotlsystem is amazing. If making you chan saved your life, finding you chan changed mine for the better. Thank you for the motivation, and education. I wish you every success in the world and that your Jasmine plant flourishes as much as you all. Also, teeth. If you go back to my 1st videos, we have this cute dimple on our left cheek. It's not natural. A tooth absessed from poor oral health(i also have Major Depresdive Disorder) and we have had to pull 3 teeth. The dimple is gone(i sorta miss it) and our oral health is better, and that started with the little steps you speak of. Every time we feel like we are never going to make it, your existance and channel are the things we cypher back to, yours, the Axolotlsystem and DIDmomVlog. We are over the moon that you are able to relocate, here's to many more accomplishments and happiness.
Joining peer support groups while in an abusive environment helped me to find the strength and resources to leave that environment. And leaving that environment helped me to heal and be capable of helping myself. There's always something we can do to start the process.
Thank YOU. Your words have reached deep and touched whatever is left of my heart. I have been sitting here for a while and thinking if I can post this comment or not, but you are right, I deserve to sound my thoughts, and (hopefully) they are not worthlessly taking up space and time
This video made me emotional! Thank you so much Chloe & everyone for all that you do for us. I have been here since last spring when you started, and have been following ever since. In that time, I began my own treatment for DID and met my other alters. I would never have had the strength to reach out for help from mental health practitioners, my partner, and my friends if you guys hadn’t shown me that I wasn’t all alone in the world. This channel has validated a lifetime of confusion for me, and I’m eternally grateful. Especially the part where you said that you kept going with DissociaDID despite those that told you to hide and that they didn’t want others to find out. I finally feel like my life is worth living and not something worth being ashamed of anymore. Thank you thank you thank you! I wish I knew you all in person, but we feel like friends even living across the world simply due to the love and kindness you spread on this channel! Sorry for the novel- ahh! Thank you so much :)
I just found your channel. But it helps to hear I can get better even if it’s just by making a small space for myself. I don’t know what happened, but I know I was manipulated, groomed and at minimum emotionally abused, as well as endangered for others comfort and happiness. I don’t really know what to do or where to go, but a place where I can find someone who I understand and who’s been through at least some degree similar helps a lot. Thank you for being willing to speak out. For making a safe space for the rest of us.
I cried with Chloe. I am, so so SO proud of Chloe and the system, the immense courage they possess. You are truly an inspiration. Thank you for all that you do.
I am so glad you exist and you make those videos, after attempting suicide, and going through some depressive af periods I'm so happy I can hear someone telling I'm valid, I'm worthy. I admire you so much I hope you read this comment, I wish all the best
THIS!! No one has "perfect" mental health, this is great advice to everyone regardless of if you have a diagnosis or not! Thank you all so much for sharing your life, your journey, amd your growth! Best of luck with the move!
Thank you for this validation, I needed this more than I ever thought. I do not have DID, but I suffer from severe episodes depression and anxiety. It becomes exceptionally difficult when you associate certain things or experiences with danger or unease. This felt so real and relatable that someone else feels this. Having experienced trauma, it sometimes feels like it's so insignificant compared to others', but hearing this just validated my feelings and experiences. Thank you so very much, all of you, for being such an inspiration for healing. I'm so excited to get better and find my own safe space😊
Thats what happened with me from 1:03-1:33 thats exactly how i used to feel all the time til i got with my bf who im still currently with and its been almost 2 yrs and ive had a family with him hes my number 1 supporter when i have really bad flashbacks and when my anxiety and depression and my emotions get the best of me hes always there for support and he was the one who got me out of the envirment i was in and now im finally begining to heal and its still a long long process and i still revert back to where i was sometimes but hes still there
I wish I'd been able to watch this video when I was still trapped in an abusive household, but I'm glad I can see it now. You're amazing, Nin, and you and your system are helping me improve my mental health in so many ways.
'Strive for healing and safety, because you are worth the struggle' Congrats on all the positive things heading your way. You are a light at the end of my sometimes dark weeks. Enjoy your week and I will see you next week!
Love you Chloe. I'm so thank you for all your efforts to spread the word about DID. I'm SO glad I found you. Three years ago our family life when upside down form one day to the next. Took longer time to understand what my daughter is going through. We are a the very very beginning of the process. She doesn't have a diagnostic yet but evening thing is pointing to DID. I mean the amnesia, the voices, the confused thoughts and many others things. Your videos no only are full of information but are so so hopefully. THANK YOU SO MUCH. :-)
I am here a second or probably third time *not calling myself out* to congratulate you on your 100k achievement (?) And I hope this family grows bigger and more educated because you all are wonderful at teaching all of us about DID. I hope you are happy and smiling just like you made us smile when ever you post. I hope you are safe and sound and continue being amazing.
You all are such an inspiration to everyone. You have changed many people's life. You all deserve the entire world and all the love in it. It's amazing the things that you all do. Much love❤
This channel is a large part of what has inspired me to study psychology. I feel these videos have given me have a completely different outlook on life and helped me become less ignorant in regards to DID. Although I still have a lot more to learn I feel I have been able to spread some of your messages and educate people with negative outlooks and opinions on people with DID and the disorder as a whole. Thank you all so much💕
My mom had been abused horribly by my dad. Even after he died and living in a different area she still had horrible memories. This video made me think of that. I was also abused and still struggle and this made me think of practicing self care every day. I struggle with some of this also because of where the abuse took place but I've made a lot of progress. I'm so glad I've found your channel I've been binge watching over the last couple of weeks or so. I plan on moving away in about a year and half. In September I will be checking out a couple of areas. Thanks so much for all of the educational videos. I have gotten so much from your videos. I have Cptsd, anxiety, etc. At times therapists have suspected DID but still not sure so I just try to take it day to day without thinking about diagnosis.
"And maybe you don't want to be who you truly are, because that scares you and it's not who you thought you were gonna be, and it's not who you wanted to be. You deserve to take up space in the world. You deserve to exist for who you are. And you can get better. And you can heal." Very powerful. Moved to tears.
Sorry for the long post. I just wanted to say thank you for all these videos. I have always struggled with depression and I lost many years of my life because of it, since the end of last year I am in a really bad shape mentally, I just don't know how long I can take it, I have been in bed for the past weeks, I can't take care of myself or do anything that would make my life actually move forward instead of just being here waiting to be over. Today I found your channel and binge watching so many videos, and as I was watching this video, I just started crying so much because you said everything that I needed to hear, everything that makes me want to get better. Maybe I can actually think of myself has someone that deserves something better. You're an amazing person, all of you honestly, and for you to be brave and be open like this, is just wonderful, and you have helped so many people along the way. So thank you and have a wonderful day.
I just found your channel a couple of days ago and have been watching all of your videos. I just finished my psychology degree and we barely brushed by DID in the four years I was in college. You have reminded me why I wanted to help those with mental illnesses- because so many therapists just don’t understand. I ran into that when I was going through a myriad of mental health conditions in high school and even now while I continue to work through my depression. Thank you for making videos. This one in particular was a lot of what I needed to hear. It’s so important to remember that you are not a burden and I think I had forgotten that. Much love xx
I'm so glad to hear you all have found a safe place to live! I hope each alter can find something to enjoy about your new space, and I'm glad y'all live in a time when it's possible to make a channel like this to help yourself and others.
Chloe, and everyone in DissociaDID: I just want to say, usually I see these self love, empowering memes or videos and I immediately think "well that's nice, but will never be me".... And honestly never actually took any of it in.. But this video, hit me HARD. And was everything I needed to hear RIGHT in this moment of time. Especially the part about self love. I honestly felt like you were talking directly to me, and made this video just for me. As if you knew what I was going through. But how is that possible, for someone who has never met me before? This is why I truly and wholeheartedly believe in fate. There are no coincidences. I've met many people who instantly judge me for my teeth... Or my hair not being perfect (or totally clean), and I've honestly gone months at a time without showering. My (emotionally abusive, live in) boyfriend honestly doesn't care enough about me to notice. But I would be homeless if I weren't here ... And even though it's a perpetually damaging environment, you've helped me realize I CAN get better.. I, too have come to the conclusion that Id be better off not in this world... Thank you.. for also saving my life, Chloe (& everyone else). You and Jess+the boys (but especially you) have taught me so much. You are an amazing soul.. Thank you & ily all.
You are a wonderful system. I really love that you are willing to share your journey to healing and I hope that one day those who are against this channel like Jade realize that by doing this channel you are working on both healing and educating others.
So I must say that I sort off stumbled upon this channel, not entirely because I was looking for information on DID but I wasn't aware of the multiple channels that are around. I'm so glad that I have found this channel and you all. I must say I'm almost a tad afraid to type out this comment just because I don't want to offend or trigger anyone. I just wanted to thank you all. The information that is being spread with these videos is absolutely superb. I'm an intern at a special needs school and we have a new student coming in who has DID and about 5-6 known alters. They call themselves the wisdom-system. Most of the time I'm sort off left dangling and not really told how to 'handle' some of the problems that pass me by. So often I have to find information on my own and then ask if that information is correct to the primary caretakers at my internship school. So long story short, you all have given me so incredibly much. Not just information, but also a much bigger understanding of how to handle situations with this new student. So basically DissociaDID, thank you very much, you are all beautiful and keep up the amazing work that you are doing
when people make ignorant comments about hygiene, i just tell them to be grateful that they’ve never felt so awful that they broke down sobbing at the thought of trying to take a shower. i try to be happy for them that they’ve never been through this, and at the same time i hope that they become more compassionate and open-minded about the things they don’t understand.
There aren't enough words to thank you for this video. So I'll just go with Thank you DissociaDID system Thank you x Love you all so much x Your channel has saved me, without exaggeration xx
I don't make comments often, and I'm not a system. I watch your videos because I find it interesting, and informational, and important. (I've learned so much, and I appreciate that.) And in the process it has made me strive for healing from my own issues just from you being such a good mental health advocate in general, and also strive to learn how to be the best ally I can be to systems out there if ever I make friends with them and they tell me such. And I'm so happy you're gonna be safe. You're right, you do deserve to be safe and happy and you're wonderful. the world needs more people like yourself (and the rest of your system, too). I hope things go smoothly, and more healing can continue to happen as you go, in turn. Hope your days go well. Much love.
Nin.. it’s been a year now and this video is still as valid as when you posted it. Thank you for the validation.. never got it at home, but coming to this channel it feels safe. I (along with a lot of others) cannot thank you enough for being here with us.
I remember the days when you had less than 100 subs. I always said you was a star and so capable of connecting with people. Love you and what you've done. So true, really small steps when you can't see the light. Never reach too far ahead then after 6 months look back at the distance you've covered. Always start with self worth, hygiene is perfect, personal grooming.
This video hit me hard. I don't have did, but I do have depression. Sometimes just thinking takes all of me. I just got out of a really bad environment but sometimes I feel like the same little girl who had no control over anything. It's hard to tell the people around me what's wrong with me, why I'm not talking alot or just hide away for days at a time. I can feel so alone and closed off from the rest of world and even hide my feelings from my boyfriend Because I don't want to bother him with my nonsense even though he's been nothing but supportive and loving. Some days I don't feel worth it at all, no amount of support video or funny cat videos help. Exercise feels like chore and taking a shower just seems to much. This video makes me feel a little less alone. Seeing you blossom and overcome all your struggles has given me hope that I can as well. I'm so happy that I found you, you remind me that I am (as well as everyone else) is worth it, even when people closest to me said other wise. You are an angel, all of you are in my eyes. I can genuinely say I love you guys.
Chloe, and everyone else, you have been doing such a superb job with the channel. I can say that your channel is by far my favorite and I look forward to having you back once you feel well ^_^ We all love you, to us you deserve a place in the sky amongst all the stars and in the fields filled with flowers, you deserve to be happy and be surrounded by happiness
Chloe, these are things people without mental health issues find it hard to understand. The small things like brushing teeth, showering or even being able to get out of bed. I set myself a target of at least getting dressed everyday, whether it be to lay in bed or on the sofa but to change my clothes everyday was a small but positive start for me. You are a big inspiration to not only people with DID but anyone with a mental health issue, for that I want to thank you because you matter to us all 💕
I'm crying watching this (and I _rarely_ cry). I'm so, so glad you're in a safer place and you're healing. I didn't know how much I needed to hear the things you said and I hope you always remember they apply to you as well. I hope you, and everyone in your system, are doing well and I hope you have a much safer, happier future. Before I found your channel I'd never even heard of DID and now I know so much more I do my best to spread the awareness (you don't know how many of my friends I've made watch your videos whenever damaging DID media comes up in conversation). Thank you so, so much for sharing your knowledge and spreading awareness. I'm so greatful
I just want to say that I am so so grateful for your channel .I do not have DID but I do struggle with mental illness and I can't tell you how much fascinating it was for me to learn more about DID .your videos were the ones that made me step out of the war I'm constantly having . I have never heard of DID my entire life until I found your channel and I can understand how hard it is when people just don't get what you are going through because of lack of information.I just wanna say that I'm really proud of you and you really do deserve safety and happiness .and just know that you have reached someone who's all the way from north Africa you are doing a great job so keep doing what you are doing
i felt like crying while watching this video! i dont have DID, but i do have generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, and PTSD (plus an eating disorder called ARFID that i didnt even know existed until a couple of weeks ago!) and oh my god it sounded like you were talking about MY life!!!!!!! ive healed so much in the past couple of years, and im so proud to say that i have, and its still hard and i still have a long ways to go, but watching your videos has been so good for me. i came to your channel a week or two ago because i was interested in learning about DID, but now i watch because you/your system are/is just so kind and friendly and warm and sososososo understanding! i recently had a breakthrough in understanding my healing process, and its thanks to you and your videos that i had it! i wish you all the best of luck, and i am so thankful for each and every one of you! 💙
I’m crying I don’t have DID but I have epilepsy and everytime I have a episode they blame me it’s hard sometimes especially wen someone is talking to you and you just can’t respond. But I’m glad you’re finally going to b safe You’re one of my inspirations thank you so much 😊
I’m a big fan of DissociaDID and I got to a point where I play one of your videos while I’m studying, it gaves me the tranquility I need and I don’t even see your video I just need to hear your voice. I have anxiety and I’m almost dropping my medication (I’m so proud of myself) but I have a friend who suffers with depression and she told me a few days ago that her medication was not working anymore and she’s fighting for over 15 years (she’s 22). She said it was the end for her but I told her that the fight goes on and I’ll be by her side when she drops her medication, I’ll be the first person to congratulate her when she’s completely healed. Seeing this video reminded me about this episode and it gave me hope that one day she’ll be healed, and until then I’ll support her in all ways possible. Thank you for your sweets words Chloe, you’re an inspiration for a lot of people and I love you so much. Lots of kisses from Brazil
oh and YES YOU FUCKING DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY AND COMPLETELY HEALED NOW GO AHEAD AND KICK YOUR PROBLEMS IN THE ASS, YOU CAN DO WHEREVER YOU WANNA DO YOU’RE SO SPECIAL I COULD GIVE YOU THE HOLE WORLD
I can't even describe how much I needed to hear this. I've felt stuck in my current situation and have trapped myself in this cycle of "well I know I can't get better because most of my problems here are because of where I'm living" and that is true. MOST of my problems ARE because of how I have to live right now. But not all of them are, and I deserve to fix the things I can.
Thank you so much for sharing these incredubly genuine, gentle and loving messages, Chloe. I am so so so glad you are moving to a safer space, and that at the same time you articulated how we can start to heal even when we can't get to a safer place. My mental illnesses make me struggle with hygiene tasks as well, and these were just the kinds of timely reminders of my value I needed to hear today. I'm a pretty new subscriber, but I genuinely love dissociaDID System so much already. 💖💖💖
Thank you for this. I don’t have DID, I’ve learned about you from a friend of mine that has DID and is sharing amazing info and videos. I do have depression, anxiety, and a history of an eating disorder, idk if I have trauma? But your videos are very helpful. I’m also a therapist too and knowing this information is soo so so helpful! As of now I’m not aware of any of my clients have DID but if they do I know what some signs are and how I can help them and how I can help my friend with DID! Thank you. I appreciate you all
Thank you so much for this. Being in this place has nearly ended our life many times. We’re like a Rolodex just trying to live minute to minute right now. We’re living with very thick walls but your words do echo through the catacombs and surf on the winds of the infinite dessert of our inner worlds. Sending healing and loving energy your way, from the Warrior Tribe. -21
I am going to show this video to whoever needs support and validation during harsh times, whatever their problems are. I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that you can be in a safe place: I hope it gets better and better for you. I know that you will bring help, inspiration and joy to many other people, showing that everyone can have a full, happy life, no matter what they went through. Thank you.
I've only just found your channel a few days ago and I'm binge watching from oldest videos to newest. This channel is amazing and super interesting and informative so thank you for doing this. I can't possibly imagine the intensity of your struggles, but this video literally moved me to tears to see your strength and perseverance to heal after everything you've been through! As someone who has struggled with a mental disorder almost my whole life without knowing what it really was (until fairly recently), I've felt helpless and worthless almost the entire time with very little motivation to better my life because I didn't think I was worth it. Therapy has helped me MASSIVELY over the last year, but some days I still feel stuck and lack self worth. I don't have DID, but this video really spoke to on a level that really hit home and for that I want to say thank you. I wish you and your system all the love and happiness that you all truly deserve and keep smiling and making the world a better place. Thank you
The difficulty and challenges of showering...thank u for that
Your videos are very educational as a 13 year old, I now know so much about DID so thank you for posting theses videos to make people aware and teens like me b/c I know people ESPECIALLY teens are quick to judge. Thank you.
I agree completely. I'm only 15, but this channel has brought to light not only information about DID, but as I looked into it more information about attachment theory. I'm even taking psychology my junior year of high school, which I'm quite excited for. Having anxiety and depressive disorders has been difficult, and I didn't know how to really handle it when I was diagnosed, but educating myself on these disorders and others as well has become a way to understand and connect with a part of myself I didn't know I even had for so long. I don't think I would have even tried had it not been for the DissociaDID system. So thank you for doing what you do, because it's changed my life!
UA-cam is drunk right now. Your comment says "Is sheep a rock" and then i clicked to the replies and saw a completely different comment
@@Name-nz9wf "Is sheep a rock" HNDKSKS LMAOO TF
Hailey Jackson same. I’m 13 and have been binge watching their videos because it’s just so interesting and educational.
When I was 12/13 years old (2013-2014) I heard about DID as well, through videos of people experiencing it but at the time people were so less accepting! I am 18 now and I am so much more informed about DID (also thanks to this channel) cause there is so much more information about it and more people talking about it.
So I want to thank this channel especially because it has brought to my knowledge so much more information about this disorder!
Me being someone with social anxiety and dependent personality disorder, I can understand struggling with a disorder
I want to take psychology in university since I have always been curious out the human brain c:
(Btw I am Italian so sorry if I made some spelling or grammar mistakes)
I know you said you don't believe that you're a good speaker, Chloe, but I truly believe that I, and possibly many others, were drawn to the channel by your eloquent words and your wonderful, welcoming energy. You always have an amazing air of understanding and want for others to understand as well. I knew next to nothing about DID before finding your channel, and had little to no interest in it at that, and now I follow you, the Pinata system, the Entropy system, and so many others. I don't even remember how I found you to begin with, but I'm so so glad I did. I think, through your videos alone, you have taught me so much not only about DID, but how to be kind to both friends and strangers, and how to accept that which initially seems strange to me that I may learn more about it. Thank you, Chloe, and all the other alters who have been willing to post on the channel. I'm so glad to know all of you, even if you don't know me.
You dont need to be good at speaking to be a good speaker (if that makes any sense)
agree - she is so articulate but still relatable
Chloe and Nina integrated and now go by Nin
I also have DID and I am moving out of my abusive family home very soon into emergency safe accommodation and then into long term supported housing. I hope this move will be healing for us and I hope your move will be healing good and empowering. A lovely video, Chloe ❤️
I'm so happy for you! I hope y'all are in a safe place now! 💕
There was a time that I was deathly afraid of bathrooms and any room that had at least one unmovable mirror. I still cannot relax with when it’s dark and there’re mirrors nearby, but I can function normally now.
Your videos really help a lot, even those who don’t have DID.
Thank you for sharing and teaching.
"I wanted it to be the for me, I tried my best to make sure it was the end for me"
It's hard to talk about suicide, especially if you attempted it, I'm so proud of you, so so proud
DissociaDID saved my life. I wouldn't be here without you guys.
You are such a light in this world (not just Chloe, but also the system as a whole). The impact this video in particular has made on me alone is proof of that. Thank you for being alive
This, this hit me hard... I’m stuck in a self loathing cycle, and I feel so so worthless... but but I know I can change, I know I can heal, and this video has made me realise that i can do it, that I can heal if i try💖
Lots of love to you all🥰
Christian F. Thank you, so much💖 I’m working on it, I’ve got good support but sometimes I’m hit with a wave of grief and longing and it starts the cycle all over again😔
Natalie, I hear you. Your feelings are valid and you have every right to feel them. I'm here to tell you, Do not give up - do not ever ever give up.
Like you I was full of self-loathing my whole life. Finally at age 55 I made the decision to heal. Then i went out and looked for help. I tried different things - some helped for a little while, some didn't help, some set me back. But I did not stop because i felt that i was here for a reason and I could not find that reason if i was lost in the dark. Something that really struck me once: A therapist asked me what I would say to someone small and scared and full of self hate - perhaps someone who was disfigured or had a disability. What would i say to them? How would i convince them they have value - that they matter? I ask you the same question. What would you say to them? Do you believe in what you just said? Now listen to yourself say it out loud.
Decide now - you do not have to do anything else just decide. Then follow your intuition to the sources of healing that work for you. Sending you lots of love and healing. Your friend, alex
Check out Broken Girl by Matthew West it is a great song that helps me!
Natalie, You're not useless. you are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Thank you so much for mentioning the effect of mental health on one's ability to take care of themself. I struggle with multiple mental illnesses that sometimes keep me from being able to do even the most simple of things and my family calls me lazy because of it or say that I'm "wallowing".
Anyone going through this I want you to know you are not alone and it's ok to take the time to let this pass because it WILL pass. It's ok to reach out for help and it's ok to put yourself and your health both mental and physical first. It doesn't make you selfish and it doesn't make you a bad person. You are going to be ok and you are SO strong. We love you! Don't forget that. You are precious, irreplaceable, and infinitely lovable.
This new filming space, the jasmine and all, makes me so so happy. It really reflects your own positivity and beautiful spirit (to the whole system). Thank you for sharing all of that with us. 😊
I'm so excited to see you reach 100k, because definitely more than 100k people deserve to enjoy your videos and this community.
4:48 Just wanted to add that sometimes even those commitments can feel impossible but you can take even tinier steps and that can make self-care easier. If committing to cleaning your teeth twice or once a day is too hard, you can say, "Nevermind cleaning my teeth forever, I'm going to brush my teeth NOW" or even "I'm going to go into the bathroom and put toothpaste on my toothbrush." Often just beginning a task even the smallest bit can engage your brain to complete it and that's the important part, actually doing it.
I am so glad you all are still alive. I don’t have DID, but channels like yours have made a huge impact on my life. And this video made me realize I could work to show my appreciation in general more often. Thank you for all you guys do.
This is PRECISELY where I am right now: stuck living with my emotionally abusive parents. I'm currently trying to make peace with being stuck in their house for a few years at least. So I'm trying. Thank you for posting this.
I hope things have gotten better for you bud!
"We did it"
I'm so freaking proud😭😭😭😭😭
I can't believe you weren't in a safe home yet. And i'm happy to know that you are now. I am fascinated by you and your story, i have severe PTSD and you thaught me so much about healing and triggers and how to help myself. And it kinda makes me wish i lived closer by, i would love to actually meet you in person and have a chat. Sending love, Irene.
Yes, this channel really helped me understand my ptsd & how to avoid triggering myself so much
Chloe, you are incredibly strong and inspiring. I didn't realize you were still in an unsafe environment and it breaks my heart to hear. I, too was stuck in a place where it was difficult to heal and I understand the helplessness it can bring. I do not have DID, but I struggle with mental illness and this video was something I needed to hear. Thank you. Don't ever think that there is no purpose for your life or the suffering, because you are living that purpose and it so brave and you are touching the lives of many, including mine.
Chloe, and everyone in the dissociaDID system:
You are such a wonderful empathetic person. It’s been so amazing watching you grow into your channel and gain so much confidence. You’re such an eloquent speaker and it’s horrible to hear you mention that people make unpleasant comments about your teeth or your mental health. It’s fantastic that you’ve taken the trauma you incurred in childhood and turned it into such a positive for a quarter of a million people. I’m glad UA-cam has helped you gain your safety and independence, and I’m sure your entire fan base feels that way. Thank you for everything you do.
I'm what they call a 'singleton' but I have found this channel not only educational about DID but also a little lesson to myself that I do need to pay attention to people around me, not just judge at the first impression but really listen and think 'they may have things going on that you know nothing about', it may seem quite strange to hear someone say they needed this lesson, especially at the age I am, but because of my own experiences i life I have found myself getting less and less empathic something I've realised over the last year or so. Something I am now making an effort to change, after-all I was lovely when I was a kid, and I'd like to see something of that person back in my life. Thanks Chloe for all your work, this isn't just useful to the DID community, it's useful to all those who feel they may have lost a part of themselves along the way.
Your all amazing. Your all wonderful. And I am so happy you are here to educate and help. ❤️
I can tell that some things were kind of hard for you to talk about, but we all appreciate how you are so brave to talk about your struggles with us for education, thank you so so much Chloe (and the other alters)
Dearest Chloe and the entire DissociaDID system. I've been following your channel since about September 2018... I've wanted to reach out to you many times to thank you for being an anchor throughout my healing journey. While I don't have DID, I've found much of what you've shared to be relevant to my situation somehow. I want you (all) to know how grateful I am for your vulnerability in making this channel... and for sharing your growth work publicly. I adore you so very much... and I love you from the purest place in my heart. Biggest hugs to all of you who want them, high-fives and head nods to the others. As a mother, I would be SO PROUD of you as my child -- which, I was SHOCKED to discover how young "you" are (trying to word this to acknowledge the system's varying ages; I mean the body's age)... Well done, darlings!!!! You should feel quite proud of what you've created here!!!! CONGRATULATIONS on your up coming 1-yr DissociaDID birthday! You are seen. You are loved. You are magic!
Every time I watch your videos I always think wow, you're all so intelligent and well-spoken.
I'm so happy you didn't care what people thought, and i'm so happy that you didn't stop making videos! Because without your videos i don't think i would be alive right now... I don't have DID but i find it very interesting to learn about, and you're just an amazing, nice person. You can make me smile when nothing else can, you can make me feel like someone cares about me. thank you for that, i love you.
Imme Zander ❤️
u motivated me to get out of bed and brush my teeth... also put some skincare on... this doesn't sound like much. but i am so grateful and wanted to say thank you for that. it feels good to not be alone...
I struggle with this daily too, sometimes the little things are hard.
This channel has taught me so much. These sort of topics really intrigue me, so I find these videos especially helpful and interesting! Much love ❤️
My ex fiancee had borderline personality disorder we lost her a month ago this really helps w self care rn. Uni or not your all in education now because you've all lived it, thank you for everything. Love the whole system 🤗
You've opened a door in my mind that has allowed me to see myself. Your channel has been the start of a journey to inform myself and also a journey inward to meet myself. Thank you for that.
Well wishes on your journey
Everything you said in this video is so impactful and important, and it really hit me hard.... I’m not in an unsafe environment and I haven’t been through any trauma, but I do have a lot of mental health issues and I’m autistic. The last year in particular has been really awful for me with depression, and last month I decided not to go to university because I just can’t study anymore and I realised that I need to focus on myself and healing (both physical and mental health), so the things you were saying really hit home and reinforced that I made the right choice. It doesn’t matter what pace I live my life, there’s no right timescale for life.... thank you for starting this channel, you’re an amazing person and you’re definitely a massive inspiration to continue fighting for myself and doing the best I can, however “little” that best may seem to other people. I’m very glad you’re in a safe space now 💗
Esther Beckley might I suggest a physical activity that you enjoy? I find it helps with all aspects of healing
not me saying I haven't been through any trauma lmao, I clearly did not understand the complexity and variations of trauma when I commented this bc I most definitely have been through trauma
2:33
When Chloe used armour as an analogy I realised it's a great analogy, because people wear armours to protect themselves, but wearing an armour 24/7 is not good, you will get hot, and heavy, and just be more miserable overall.
You need to remove your armour every once in a while, for your own safety, even though it sounds absurd
As a chronic pain patient i can understand the not being able to maintain regular upkeep, having to give up life goals... And losing control over your life. Bits and parts of what you're saying are so much of what I go through. With mental health issues and multiple chronic health issues especially invisible diseases that can NOT be seen from the outside.... Family and friends do not understand. I can honestly say I've lost the majority of the people i thought were friends, at 23 to say i have this disease and they don't see anything wrong with me... They didn't believe me so they disappeared. Im still being diagnosed with new conditions at 33...This is why i came over from Jessica's channel. You were just so bubbly and with CFS is something i understand so well it was one of my first conditions I was diagnosed with. Please never stop posting.
I hope your doing better
I feel that way everyday and cannot understand it. I feel like because I’m suppose to live and act the way my small town and family, I cannot act what’s wrong with me or in a sense, be who I am. DID is not acceptable here and I have this huge urge to leave but I cannot due to my children. It’s sometimes a hopeless feeling. This episode made me cry for hopeful and validation helped me put words to what I’m actually feeling. You give me a sense of importance and meaning for me that I have never gotten. Someone who is across the ocean has been a life saver, that person is you. I feel like I understand myself more when I listen to you. For that, and for that I thank you.
Keep on beeing strong! I don't know you and you don't know me. But I am sure that you deserve hope. (Sorry if there are any spelling errors not a native speaker)
imagine my name
Oh that was so kind of you!!!! I appreciate that so much and made me smile!! Thank you so much for reaching out. ❤️
I started making a list of “milestones per day” in my journal to make myself understand how strong I can be by adding a single red tick in a box everytime I manage to accomplish something; and I’m talking also about apparently small things such as taking a shower, washing myself, change my clothes, ecc.
I think that treating healthily my body (eating cleaning my body, having a steady biological clock) is something I struggle with, because is a twisted and smart way to punish myself for my “weak side”, but I’m getting there and this method I’m using is really helping a lot. Healing is possible, guys, really. And this is a safe space to admit it, thanks to the dissociadid System
It's not even a year later AND you have a PARTNER system, you have MORE thrice the amount of subscribers, you're going to speak on a DID conference this november, and biggest of them all (imo) you're flippin' ENGAGED! You're engaged! That's incredible!
You've truly succeeded, I think. I really do.
I’ve never related to anything anyone on the internet has said to me more than I have this video. Thank you so much for making this channel. And thank you so much for the pep talk
You deserve the space you occupy in this world - the quote that changed my life. Thank you for reminding me
what i find most inspiring is knowing life doesn't have to amount to just surviving, i might've been content with simply making sure in my life i don't hurt anybody because of my own pain, the bar was as low as i hope my existence is neutral, but i prefer the now in which i can believe any of us will make it through and rise above, we can all make a positive change and reaffirm our worth in all the goodness we can bring into the world, i could think of nothing more admirable for myself than responding to the bad things life has dealt me with rebellious constructive powerful positivity, as hard as the wind blew trying to blow out this candle is as much oxygen i can take in to burn all the brighter, stronger, and bring light to every traveler passing by me v_v i'm gonna keep holding on, thank you for everything so far and for all the posibilities you've helped me see in my life's map
And I hope that even 1 year later you guys don't forget how you still make a difference on people's lives and how amazing your channel is! Hope you're safe and healing, this wasnt a nice year at all ❤️
I'm so happy I found your channel. I'm going through a hard time right now and I'm stuck in this mindset of "no, I don't deserve help, it's easier to just give up", it's taking my will to live away from me. I'm terrified of being diagnosed with something I don't want, but seeing your recovery, seeing you healing and growing after getting help, this might be the thing that pushes me to seeking help. I'm done with suffering on my own, I'm tired of living like this and I want it to get better. It has to. If you could recover, I can recover too. We all deserve happiness. Thank you, thank you for opening up and reaching out to everyone with a positive message. Thank you all
@@christianf.5553 This was the sweetest response I've ever received. Thank you for understanding so well ❤️
I’ve always felt invalid because I live with my abusers I want to stay with them to protect my sisters and pets. I’ve always felt like I couldn’t do anything to help myself and I was an idiot for never reaching out despite the negativity it had on my mental health. But I think I can. I think I can try. Thank you.
I'm finally moving out of my mother's home in a few weeks. My two little brothers will stay here a while... I don't know how much time
I could have moved out sooner but yeah, they're young and they needed some sort of support.
But this is your life. You're the one living it. We deserve to be loved and cared for, and validated. We're humans. We are capable. This will be better. One day we will be safe and happy, surrounded with persons and peta we love, and this day we will be able to remember what it was like and say "yes , I did it!"
Love from a stranger ❤️
I do not recommend watching this video at lunch at work like I did. Trying to hide your tears is hard! DissociaDID you are so lovely and I am glad I found your videos. You are a pleasure to watch and thanks for sharing so much of yourself!
Lol sometimes it’s a gamble on if u cry watching their videos
Newly diagnosed with DID and bpd. Your videos are so helpful and we really really appreciate this video especially. We grew up being told and believing that if we didnt be who we were told to be that we were worthless and a waste. Thank you. You make us feel loved and important ❤❤❤
You are loved and important!
I really suffer from depression and such, and you're absolutely correct. I was able to get myself out of a toxic household, but I wasn't able to realize I needed healing until I left to live with someone who took care of me. So I was able to take big steps by getting out of the beginning environment.
But school, my bed, the bathroom, these are all places that can overwhelm me and make me shut down inside. I can't just not go to these places, so I have to learn to survive in them despite how hard it is.
Love all you guys, and thank you for all your videos ❤
This. We have been always trapped by this. When we were younger we lived in our unsafe and triggering environment, then we moved 4x during the year and 4x our apt building caught fire(while we were at classes) forcing us back in our home that wasnt safe. Then 5 years ago, we took a leap, cleared out our bank account and took a greyhound to the other side of the country. Everything was beginning to look up, but then at work, we had an extremely traumatic experience that pushed us into therapy(which i had started in hs but stopped bcs i ran out of funds) and also got us to get an official Dx. Added to my CPTSD, i have PTSD from that workplace trauma and again my living environment is a trigger/reminder. It's hard. I dont know how to fix this because i dont have anymore energy to move. Between all my moves there has been so many hospital visits and bcs of the stress, our immune system got extremely compromised and i now have a rare stress condition that results in sporratic bouts of anaphylaxis. My healing plan HAS to involve minimizing my stress bcs it can kill me(and almost did, i wear scars of resusitation for it). Where i live now, my home and the actual city is a trauma trigger and what i woukd like to point out is that added to these poignant traumatic events, mixed in are experiences of trauma based on racism. Some of us have to choose, when we have moved and done research, what kind of trauma can we shoulder. I ended up on the other side of Canada based around the sacrifice of having to face or work through racialized situations(more than i used to) for the gain of medical help and ease of access. Finding therapy and mental help was excrutiatingly hard before we moved. Many times we ended up settling and using therapy time to brainstorm with our therapists how to get recomendations for the help i actually needed because once they got into my childhood and amnesia, they would realize that i needed something more. Ive had horrible experiences with therapy that has resulted at times, in hospital stays. But since my last recent trauma, i put my foot down. I can't keep moving. Its costly and taxing on all of us and we don't have the funds and we dont want to start therapist searching from scratch again. We needed this video bcs we had started to feel defeated, like this is as good as we are ever going to get. Thanks for giving us that push with this vid, to keep trying bit by bit. That the person others are pining for and feel like I'll return to being, isn't me...wasnt me and although we have DID we cant keep pretending to be the person we are not(if that makes sense) that host is gone and I now have the job of picking up where she left off. This is and has been a very dificult time for us/me but it has been made less so by us finding your channel. We were actually able to use a video of yours in therapy as my evidence to my therapist of " we have similarities, look how they are thriving, getting me evaluated for this can only help" after many sessions of memory work where i always ended up in tears and switching(to Butch) because i only have some growing up memories. Anyway, we are so grateful for you and your suggestion when i asked for PoC DID channels. Axolotlsystem is amazing. If making you chan saved your life, finding you chan changed mine for the better. Thank you for the motivation, and education. I wish you every success in the world and that your Jasmine plant flourishes as much as you all. Also, teeth. If you go back to my 1st videos, we have this cute dimple on our left cheek. It's not natural. A tooth absessed from poor oral health(i also have Major Depresdive Disorder) and we have had to pull 3 teeth. The dimple is gone(i sorta miss it) and our oral health is better, and that started with the little steps you speak of. Every time we feel like we are never going to make it, your existance and channel are the things we cypher back to, yours, the Axolotlsystem and DIDmomVlog. We are over the moon that you are able to relocate, here's to many more accomplishments and happiness.
💙
Joining peer support groups while in an abusive environment helped me to find the strength and resources to leave that environment. And leaving that environment helped me to heal and be capable of helping myself.
There's always something we can do to start the process.
I’ve been in an abusive household. You can do this and I’m so proud of you getting out of there!
I think you’re one of the strongest people alive. Hope you’re doing okay.
Thank YOU.
Your words have reached deep and touched whatever is left of my heart.
I have been sitting here for a while and thinking if I can post this comment or not, but you are right, I deserve to sound my thoughts, and (hopefully) they are not worthlessly taking up space and time
They're not, they're really really not
This video made me emotional! Thank you so much Chloe & everyone for all that you do for us. I have been here since last spring when you started, and have been following ever since. In that time, I began my own treatment for DID and met my other alters. I would never have had the strength to reach out for help from mental health practitioners, my partner, and my friends if you guys hadn’t shown me that I wasn’t all alone in the world. This channel has validated a lifetime of confusion for me, and I’m eternally grateful. Especially the part where you said that you kept going with DissociaDID despite those that told you to hide and that they didn’t want others to find out. I finally feel like my life is worth living and not something worth being ashamed of anymore. Thank you thank you thank you! I wish I knew you all in person, but we feel like friends even living across the world simply due to the love and kindness you spread on this channel! Sorry for the novel- ahh! Thank you so much :)
Christian F. Aw thank you for the encouragement! It really is a wonderful community to be a part of :)
I just found your channel. But it helps to hear I can get better even if it’s just by making a small space for myself. I don’t know what happened, but I know I was manipulated, groomed and at minimum emotionally abused, as well as endangered for others comfort and happiness. I don’t really know what to do or where to go, but a place where I can find someone who I understand and who’s been through at least some degree similar helps a lot. Thank you for being willing to speak out. For making a safe space for the rest of us.
I cried with Chloe. I am, so so SO proud of Chloe and the system, the immense courage they possess. You are truly an inspiration. Thank you for all that you do.
I am so glad you exist and you make those videos, after attempting suicide, and going through some depressive af periods I'm so happy I can hear someone telling I'm valid, I'm worthy. I admire you so much I hope you read this comment, I wish all the best
THIS!! No one has "perfect" mental health, this is great advice to everyone regardless of if you have a diagnosis or not! Thank you all so much for sharing your life, your journey, amd your growth! Best of luck with the move!
Thank you for this validation, I needed this more than I ever thought.
I do not have DID, but I suffer from severe episodes depression and anxiety. It becomes exceptionally difficult when you associate certain things or experiences with danger or unease. This felt so real and relatable that someone else feels this. Having experienced trauma, it sometimes feels like it's so insignificant compared to others', but hearing this just validated my feelings and experiences. Thank you so very much, all of you, for being such an inspiration for healing. I'm so excited to get better and find my own safe space😊
This video just hits home
..
And no one should be mentioning your teeth. You're literally perfect
Wished mine were that good
Thats what happened with me from 1:03-1:33 thats exactly how i used to feel all the time til i got with my bf who im still currently with and its been almost 2 yrs and ive had a family with him hes my number 1 supporter when i have really bad flashbacks and when my anxiety and depression and my emotions get the best of me hes always there for support and he was the one who got me out of the envirment i was in and now im finally begining to heal and its still a long long process and i still revert back to where i was sometimes but hes still there
I wish I'd been able to watch this video when I was still trapped in an abusive household, but I'm glad I can see it now. You're amazing, Nin, and you and your system are helping me improve my mental health in so many ways.
'Strive for healing and safety, because you are worth the struggle'
Congrats on all the positive things heading your way. You are a light at the end of my sometimes dark weeks.
Enjoy your week and I will see you next week!
Love you Chloe. I'm so thank you for all your efforts to spread the word about DID. I'm SO glad I found you. Three years ago our family life when upside down form one day to the next. Took longer time to understand what my daughter is going through. We are a the very very beginning of the process. She doesn't have a diagnostic yet but evening thing is pointing to DID. I mean the amnesia, the voices, the confused thoughts and many others things. Your videos no only are full of information but are so so hopefully. THANK YOU SO MUCH. :-)
I am here a second or probably third time *not calling myself out* to congratulate you on your 100k achievement (?) And I hope this family grows bigger and more educated because you all are wonderful at teaching all of us about DID. I hope you are happy and smiling just like you made us smile when ever you post. I hope you are safe and sound and continue being amazing.
5:35 to like 5:50 hit so hard man..... thank you @ the dissociadid system for this video
everything in this video is hitting and im not even at the 10min mark wow
I really needed to hear this right now. A massive thank you to your beautiful system. ❤️
Bump incase u need to hear it again rn
When Chloe said your system was moving to a safe place I started crying. I am so happy for you all.
You all are such an inspiration to everyone. You have changed many people's life. You all deserve the entire world and all the love in it. It's amazing the things that you all do. Much love❤
I hate how relatable this is. I'm sitting in that place rn and I cant get out, so thank you for this video. It's very helpful
watching Chloe's confidence soar these past few months has been so heartwarming! I'm so glad you are moving forward with your healing journey
This channel is a large part of what has inspired me to study psychology. I feel these videos have given me have a completely different outlook on life and helped me become less ignorant in regards to DID. Although I still have a lot more to learn I feel I have been able to spread some of your messages and educate people with negative outlooks and opinions on people with DID and the disorder as a whole. Thank you all so much💕
My mom had been abused horribly by my dad. Even after he died and living in a different area she still had horrible memories. This video made me think of that. I was also abused and still struggle and this made me think of practicing self care every day. I struggle with some of this also because of where the abuse took place but I've made a lot of progress. I'm so glad I've found your channel I've been binge watching over the last couple of weeks or so. I plan on moving away in about a year and half. In September I will be checking out a couple of areas. Thanks so much for all of the educational videos. I have gotten so much from your videos. I have Cptsd, anxiety, etc. At times therapists have suspected DID but still not sure so I just try to take it day to day without thinking about diagnosis.
"And maybe you don't want to be who you truly are, because that scares you and it's not who you thought you were gonna be, and it's not who you wanted to be. You deserve to take up space in the world. You deserve to exist for who you are. And you can get better. And you can heal." Very powerful. Moved to tears.
Sorry for the long post.
I just wanted to say thank you for all these videos. I have always struggled with depression and I lost many years of my life because of it, since the end of last year I am in a really bad shape mentally, I just don't know how long I can take it, I have been in bed for the past weeks, I can't take care of myself or do anything that would make my life actually move forward instead of just being here waiting to be over. Today I found your channel and binge watching so many videos, and as I was watching this video, I just started crying so much because you said everything that I needed to hear, everything that makes me want to get better. Maybe I can actually think of myself has someone that deserves something better. You're an amazing person, all of you honestly, and for you to be brave and be open like this, is just wonderful, and you have helped so many people along the way. So thank you and have a wonderful day.
I just found your channel a couple of days ago and have been watching all of your videos. I just finished my psychology degree and we barely brushed by DID in the four years I was in college. You have reminded me why I wanted to help those with mental illnesses- because so many therapists just don’t understand. I ran into that when I was going through a myriad of mental health conditions in high school and even now while I continue to work through my depression. Thank you for making videos. This one in particular was a lot of what I needed to hear. It’s so important to remember that you are not a burden and I think I had forgotten that.
Much love xx
Thank you, for choosing to help people
I'm so glad to hear you all have found a safe place to live! I hope each alter can find something to enjoy about your new space, and I'm glad y'all live in a time when it's possible to make a channel like this to help yourself and others.
You truly are such a light in this world! Thank you for all that you do, from the bottom of my heart! ❤️
Chloe, and everyone in DissociaDID:
I just want to say, usually I see these self love, empowering memes or videos and I immediately think "well that's nice, but will never be me".... And honestly never actually took any of it in..
But this video, hit me HARD. And was everything I needed to hear RIGHT in this moment of time. Especially the part about self love. I honestly felt like you were talking directly to me, and made this video just for me. As if you knew what I was going through. But how is that possible, for someone who has never met me before? This is why I truly and wholeheartedly believe in fate. There are no coincidences.
I've met many people who instantly judge me for my teeth... Or my hair not being perfect (or totally clean), and I've honestly gone months at a time without showering. My (emotionally abusive, live in) boyfriend honestly doesn't care enough about me to notice. But I would be homeless if I weren't here ... And even though it's a perpetually damaging environment, you've helped me realize I CAN get better..
I, too have come to the conclusion that Id be better off not in this world...
Thank you.. for also saving my life, Chloe (& everyone else). You and Jess+the boys (but especially you) have taught me so much.
You are an amazing soul..
Thank you & ily all.
You are a wonderful system. I really love that you are willing to share your journey to healing and I hope that one day those who are against this channel like Jade realize that by doing this channel you are working on both healing and educating others.
So I must say that I sort off stumbled upon this channel, not entirely because I was looking for information on DID but I wasn't aware of the multiple channels that are around. I'm so glad that I have found this channel and you all. I must say I'm almost a tad afraid to type out this comment just because I don't want to offend or trigger anyone. I just wanted to thank you all. The information that is being spread with these videos is absolutely superb. I'm an intern at a special needs school and we have a new student coming in who has DID and about 5-6 known alters. They call themselves the wisdom-system. Most of the time I'm sort off left dangling and not really told how to 'handle' some of the problems that pass me by. So often I have to find information on my own and then ask if that information is correct to the primary caretakers at my internship school. So long story short, you all have given me so incredibly much. Not just information, but also a much bigger understanding of how to handle situations with this new student.
So basically DissociaDID, thank you very much, you are all beautiful and keep up the amazing work that you are doing
when people make ignorant comments about hygiene, i just tell them to be grateful that they’ve never felt so awful that they broke down sobbing at the thought of trying to take a shower. i try to be happy for them that they’ve never been through this, and at the same time i hope that they become more compassionate and open-minded about the things they don’t understand.
There aren't enough words to thank you for this video.
So I'll just go with Thank you DissociaDID system Thank you x
Love you all so much x
Your channel has saved me, without exaggeration xx
I don't make comments often, and I'm not a system. I watch your videos because I find it interesting, and informational, and important. (I've learned so much, and I appreciate that.) And in the process it has made me strive for healing from my own issues just from you being such a good mental health advocate in general, and also strive to learn how to be the best ally I can be to systems out there if ever I make friends with them and they tell me such. And I'm so happy you're gonna be safe. You're right, you do deserve to be safe and happy and you're wonderful. the world needs more people like yourself (and the rest of your system, too). I hope things go smoothly, and more healing can continue to happen as you go, in turn. Hope your days go well. Much love.
I just wanna jump through the screen and give you a huge hug
Nin.. it’s been a year now and this video is still as valid as when you posted it. Thank you for the validation.. never got it at home, but coming to this channel it feels safe. I (along with a lot of others) cannot thank you enough for being here with us.
I remember the days when you had less than 100 subs. I always said you was a star and so capable of connecting with people. Love you and what you've done.
So true, really small steps when you can't see the light. Never reach too far ahead then after 6 months look back at the distance you've covered. Always start with self worth, hygiene is perfect, personal grooming.
@@christianf.5553 I thank Chloe for sharing herself and teaching me about DiD.
Thank you for this, as always, Chloe! Hope everything’s been okay with all of you recently, and I hope you’ve had a lovely week 💛🌟
This video hit me hard. I don't have did, but I do have depression. Sometimes just thinking takes all of me. I just got out of a really bad environment but sometimes I feel like the same little girl who had no control over anything. It's hard to tell the people around me what's wrong with me, why I'm not talking alot or just hide away for days at a time. I can feel so alone and closed off from the rest of world and even hide my feelings from my boyfriend Because I don't want to bother him with my nonsense even though he's been nothing but supportive and loving. Some days I don't feel worth it at all, no amount of support video or funny cat videos help. Exercise feels like chore and taking a shower just seems to much. This video makes me feel a little less alone. Seeing you blossom and overcome all your struggles has given me hope that I can as well. I'm so happy that I found you, you remind me that I am (as well as everyone else) is worth it, even when people closest to me said other wise. You are an angel, all of you are in my eyes. I can genuinely say I love you guys.
You inspire me keep trying keep fighting for all of you. You deserve all of you to be here.I am proud of you all
You are so inspiring
Chloe, and everyone else, you have been doing such a superb job with the channel. I can say that your channel is by far my favorite and I look forward to having you back once you feel well ^_^ We all love you, to us you deserve a place in the sky amongst all the stars and in the fields filled with flowers, you deserve to be happy and be surrounded by happiness
Chloe, these are things people without mental health issues find it hard to understand. The small things like brushing teeth, showering or even being able to get out of bed. I set myself a target of at least getting dressed everyday, whether it be to lay in bed or on the sofa but to change my clothes everyday was a small but positive start for me. You are a big inspiration to not only people with DID but anyone with a mental health issue, for that I want to thank you because you matter to us all 💕
I'm crying watching this (and I _rarely_ cry). I'm so, so glad you're in a safer place and you're healing. I didn't know how much I needed to hear the things you said and I hope you always remember they apply to you as well. I hope you, and everyone in your system, are doing well and I hope you have a much safer, happier future. Before I found your channel I'd never even heard of DID and now I know so much more I do my best to spread the awareness (you don't know how many of my friends I've made watch your videos whenever damaging DID media comes up in conversation). Thank you so, so much for sharing your knowledge and spreading awareness. I'm so greatful
I just want to say that I am so so grateful for your channel .I do not have DID but I do struggle with mental illness and I can't tell you how much fascinating it was for me to learn more about DID .your videos were the ones that made me step out of the war I'm constantly having . I have never heard of DID my entire life until I found your channel and I can understand how hard it is when people just don't get what you are going through because of lack of information.I just wanna say that I'm really proud of you and you really do deserve safety and happiness .and just know that you have reached someone who's all the way from north Africa you are doing a great job so keep doing what you are doing
I could not have said it better myself!
i felt like crying while watching this video! i dont have DID, but i do have generalized anxiety disorder, OCD, and PTSD (plus an eating disorder called ARFID that i didnt even know existed until a couple of weeks ago!) and oh my god it sounded like you were talking about MY life!!!!!!! ive healed so much in the past couple of years, and im so proud to say that i have, and its still hard and i still have a long ways to go, but watching your videos has been so good for me. i came to your channel a week or two ago because i was interested in learning about DID, but now i watch because you/your system are/is just so kind and friendly and warm and sososososo understanding! i recently had a breakthrough in understanding my healing process, and its thanks to you and your videos that i had it! i wish you all the best of luck, and i am so thankful for each and every one of you! 💙
I’m crying I don’t have DID but I have epilepsy and everytime I have a episode they blame me it’s hard sometimes especially wen someone is talking to you and you just can’t respond. But I’m glad you’re finally going to b safe You’re one of my inspirations thank you so much 😊
I’m a big fan of DissociaDID and I got to a point where I play one of your videos while I’m studying, it gaves me the tranquility I need and I don’t even see your video I just need to hear your voice. I have anxiety and I’m almost dropping my medication (I’m so proud of myself) but I have a friend who suffers with depression and she told me a few days ago that her medication was not working anymore and she’s fighting for over 15 years (she’s 22). She said it was the end for her but I told her that the fight goes on and I’ll be by her side when she drops her medication, I’ll be the first person to congratulate her when she’s completely healed. Seeing this video reminded me about this episode and it gave me hope that one day she’ll be healed, and until then I’ll support her in all ways possible. Thank you for your sweets words Chloe, you’re an inspiration for a lot of people and I love you so much. Lots of kisses from Brazil
oh and YES YOU FUCKING DESERVE TO BE HEALTHY AND COMPLETELY HEALED NOW GO AHEAD AND KICK YOUR PROBLEMS IN THE ASS, YOU CAN DO WHEREVER YOU WANNA DO
YOU’RE SO SPECIAL I COULD GIVE YOU THE HOLE WORLD
I can't even describe how much I needed to hear this. I've felt stuck in my current situation and have trapped myself in this cycle of "well I know I can't get better because most of my problems here are because of where I'm living" and that is true. MOST of my problems ARE because of how I have to live right now. But not all of them are, and I deserve to fix the things I can.
Thank you so much for sharing these incredubly genuine, gentle and loving messages, Chloe. I am so so so glad you are moving to a safer space, and that at the same time you articulated how we can start to heal even when we can't get to a safer place. My mental illnesses make me struggle with hygiene tasks as well, and these were just the kinds of timely reminders of my value I needed to hear today. I'm a pretty new subscriber, but I genuinely love dissociaDID System so much already. 💖💖💖
Thank you for this. I don’t have DID, I’ve learned about you from a friend of mine that has DID and is sharing amazing info and videos. I do have depression, anxiety, and a history of an eating disorder, idk if I have trauma? But your videos are very helpful. I’m also a therapist too and knowing this information is soo so so helpful! As of now I’m not aware of any of my clients have DID but if they do I know what some signs are and how I can help them and how I can help my friend with DID! Thank you. I appreciate you all
Thank you so much for this. Being in this place has nearly ended our life many times. We’re like a Rolodex just trying to live minute to minute right now. We’re living with very thick walls but your words do echo through the catacombs and surf on the winds of the infinite dessert of our inner worlds. Sending healing and loving energy your way, from the Warrior Tribe. -21
I am going to show this video to whoever needs support and validation during harsh times, whatever their problems are. I can't tell you how happy I am to hear that you can be in a safe place: I hope it gets better and better for you. I know that you will bring help, inspiration and joy to many other people, showing that everyone can have a full, happy life, no matter what they went through. Thank you.
I've only just found your channel a few days ago and I'm binge watching from oldest videos to newest. This channel is amazing and super interesting and informative so thank you for doing this. I can't possibly imagine the intensity of your struggles, but this video literally moved me to tears to see your strength and perseverance to heal after everything you've been through! As someone who has struggled with a mental disorder almost my whole life without knowing what it really was (until fairly recently), I've felt helpless and worthless almost the entire time with very little motivation to better my life because I didn't think I was worth it. Therapy has helped me MASSIVELY over the last year, but some days I still feel stuck and lack self worth. I don't have DID, but this video really spoke to on a level that really hit home and for that I want to say thank you. I wish you and your system all the love and happiness that you all truly deserve and keep smiling and making the world a better place. Thank you
Sending love n hoping life’s treating you well