15 WAYS To SUPPORT Someone With DID! | Dissociative Identity Disorder
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- Опубліковано 27 лип 2024
- Do you know someone with DID? A friend, colleague, family member, partner? Here are 15 ways you can help someone with Dissociative Identity Disorder!
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"You don't need to know someone's past to understand them, and you don't need to understand them to respect them." Very true words and relevant to everybody.
Very black and white thinking . I altleast one to know some good moments from someones past , actions make a person
@@comrademartinofrappuccino I can't make sense of what you said.
Seems logical. The folowing text is in dutch : ik heb gezegd dat ik vindt dat je erg zwart wit denkt. I zou minstens sommige goede herringen willen weten , alleen maar een slecht verleden klinkt zwart wit goed of slecht. Wat je met je leven doet maakt een perssoon meer dan zijn herringen
Rebekah Paul So true. I’ve been in a relationship with a man with DID for three years and I still don’t know the details of his past. Tbh, he may not have access to those memories anyway, those are most likely being held by one or more of the alters. Making them talk about only re-traumatizes them, so it’s not worth satisfying my curiosity.
'Treat every new alter fronting as if a new person has walked into a room' extremely helpful!
How do I deal with it if I’m very sociallly ackward
@@theonewiththecrazyidk8413 you should still try. Introduce yourself if you can.
For the snapping thing, 100% never do that. Ever.
We were switching and got the snapping in face thing,
We punched them even tho were great friends.
A large part of trauma was that snapping in face thing.
And Tori our protector is a fight response 10/10.
He apologized multiple times,
But still, you never know where someone is coming from.
(This is everywhere sorry)
snapping seems to be triggering to people who don't even suffer from trauma i can't imagine how scary that would be during dissociation
That sounds rude of them
I have physical protectors and they usually front often. So if you do the snappy thing either
1) You get a “what the frick?”
or
2) A punch or slap in the face
Whichever one that fronts you’ll get a different response.
I’m not a system, but I dissociate a lot due to childhood trauma. When you did that snappy thing it startled me because thats what people have been doing to me all my life, and its a bit terrifying to be forced out of it. There is always a good reason for people dissociating, and others don’t know, or need to know, why. Be kind. The human brain is design for one purpose : to help us live another day. Dissociation is the brain’s way of keeping us sane and safe. Embrace it.
Luna Sears I agree I disassociate but don't think I'm DID and people doing that shit is fucked up.
Also people being cruel and pushing you then getting upset when you go all robotic because you can't handle feelings anymore like if you behave like an asshole the person will want to leave. And those of us with trauma leave internally.
My boyfriend shakes me sometimes when i shut down
The Illusion: you need to explain to him that what he is doing is hurting you psychically. Shutting down is your mind’s way of taking care of itself and you must have that time to regroup. It has nothing to do with him. If he doesn’t care about or respect this boundary, even if he doesn’t understand it, he’s not the right partner for you. Someone did this to me once and I was so rattled I started crying. At the time I did not know why, but I know now.
I dont have DID but i also dissociate. And ive found it very hard and annoying, and today was kinda bad at work. I was feeling so upset about it, and just wanting to feel "normal" but this has made me feel much better❤
that hand snapping thing brings me an anger from another world, and I don't even dissociate
I cannot thank you enough for mentioning the fact that you cannot scare us! I don’t have DID, but I do suffer from PTSD and people seem to think it’s so funny to scare me because I scare so easily and I freak out so badly. ITS NOT FUNNY. It’s terrifying! Leave us alone, please. THANK YOU Chloe for mentioning that!!!
Anna Middleton I hate people who find that amusing as its cruel. Amd when I see people fo it to others I wanna hit them as it's like don't be an asshole. It's not funny to scare someone. That's not ok.
HUGE yes!! as someone who suffers from DID i can highly agree that people yelling or trying to scare me as a joke can be quite triggering. it can also cause tons of other unwanted reactions like: lashing out, flashbacks, overwhelming anxiety and sudden panic. to name a few. i can't speak for anybody but myself so take it with a grain of salt but!! loud noises/yelling are amongst my most bothersome trigger(s). purposely triggering someone is never okay, mentally ill or not. please respect one another and be kind to everybody you encounter. you never know how grand your impact on others can truly be. have a good day everyone ^-^
I also have PTSD and I completely agree!
It is cruel. Being terrified is not fun. It is painful.
Anna Claire is everybody who has a hypersensitive startle reflex always somebody who has trauma or has been thru some sort of abuse? If that’s not necessarily always the case, could it be at least a strong indication of that?
I recently found out I really do have DID, and I have at least 7 alters. It's been kind of difficult, but a close friend of mine has been really understanding. I'll be sure to show her this video 😊
So how'd you find out after so long exactly. What made you realize
We were recently officially diagnosed with DID, too, except we've known about it since childhood. People we have told have been so understanding when we explain it, it's inspired us to create day-in-the-life and videos like this one. Good luck with your journey from us all.
- Olivia.
Man, i'll have to show this to my friends, they just don't get it, i recently found out as well. cheers
- lizzie
If you don’t wanna answer this, I completely understand. My best friend has DID and has slowly opened up to me about it over a few years. I can’t tell if and when I’ve met other alter but I’d like to reach out to the others to let them know that I understand and that they can trust me when they’re out. Is there a good way to start introduce myself to alters? How do I know when it’s not the host? I think the system is still trying to imitate the host most of the time.
@@SamanthaFierke i have the same situation with my best friend. i reassured them that i won't walk away when another person fronts and that it's okay if an alter doesn't like me. the host recently told me that even the sceptic alters don't feel even slightly threatened by me and i also met some littles which is a huge compliment to me. it also took years, but this is okay and i understand it. i have also childhood trauma and i'm autistic (that means also trauma from beeing bullied) which means i know how shitty people treat you when you're diffrent and i don't want anyone to feel like i did so i'm extra careful and gentle.
if I was you i'd ask the system themself how they wanted to be treated. the system i'm friends with and i rely on clear, violent-free communitcation. i'd say: "hey xyz i'd like to get to know your system and the alters if it's okay for all of you. i want to make sure, you are all comfortable with me and i don't want to mistreat any of you [i always give a reason so they know my motives]. can i ask you some questions? for example: have i met other alters and if yes do they have different names? would you or they like to tell me so i can adress them right? is there anything i can do better? (...) but it's completly okay and valid if you're not ready to open up about this. i don't want you to feel pressure from me, just know i'm here for you all and i'm willing to make the effort to get to know more alters and their boundaries!"
example of our communication: recently i had birthday and the host changed since last year for reasons i won't share. as a consequence the name "abc" didn't match anymore since they didn't front anymore. a "new" alter became host ("def") which i also adressed as this after they told me that's their name. i invited them to my birthday party and asked them which name to call them since my other friends know them as "abc" and if i should ask my other friend to call dem "def" now. they answered they'd rather be called at social gatherings "ghi" bc sometimes they switch and the person out didn't feel adressed so they picked the systemname as such. and i could tell people who i trusted to react understanding to this (which are almost all except one person i didn't know that good since it was a quite new contact).
so yeah, sorry for the wall of text but this is how we communicate and i hope this was some kind of helpful to anyone xD
I really wanted to see the tips so I can help people with DID. I really want them to feel safe
I am cool with someone with did and their alters prefer to be treated as separate people which i do and have grown close to them. People may disagree with this but I just see them as separate beings sharing a body
This can be harder to do in closer relationships. Although it is the goal, when a switch happens during an important conversation or a hard time in the partners life (death in the family or health problems), it can make it harder to remain patient and treat every alter as separate people.
ie) my partner (host) and I were trying to have a baby and during an important conversation about health and such, his little personality took over and the entire conversation had to be put on hold. While I would love to say I didn't get frustrated, I am human and did get a little irritated at such an important conversation being put on hold.
@@kitc.3104 I understand you and I respect your opinion. We all might get irritated sometimes. But do remember that, you are a really good partner. Trust me.
You are awesome!
My partner has a little that is very young, maybe 4 or 5 years old. He shows up quite randomly however I've noticed that he usually fronts to me if he's in need of comfort or very excited about something such as getting a gift or showing me some art he created. It took a while for me to start noticing the pattern but now I can recognize his mannerisms better and I kick into a bit of a mom mode (he has told me that since he has a mommy, I'm his grandma which honestly makes me so happy. I call him my little Cupcake). A few people think it's odd because I'm not in a romantic relationship with the host or the system as a whole but only one alter with a friendship or even family dynamic with many of her other alters, however I see it a bit like simply having a nonconventional family group. I absolutely love your videos and am very grateful for the information you present for those who are new to DID or are learning to cope with DID so they know they most definitely aren't alone.
I don't think that's strange at all. Integrated people have relationships where they play a lot of roles in each other's lives at different time points: friend, lover, mother, protector etc etc. Everyone in a system is actually different parts of the one person that you love, so it's perfectly normal to play different roles in his life depending on what he needs (or in other words who's fronting) if you ask me.
Mi wife system has 9 alters. I have a relationship with 4 of them (none of them is the host) but is not hard to understand. You just need to be patient and feel a strong love. I already got used to it
@@josuereyes7622 can i ask you a question? if not, it's completly okay to just ignore me!!
how does the host feel about you?
Thank you for saying that its nice to know there's allies out there
(Not demeaning this video in anyway, I loved it) Some of these are just ways you should treat any average person and the fact that the community has to highlight giving them basic courtesy and ask for what would be seen as normal social respect is just horrible. The stigma behind D.I.D only makes people believe that the alters or even the host are LESS than everyone or fragmented and in some cases this is true with undeveloped alters and systems, but it doesn't mean that they are limited and can't be like everyone else around them.
it's not just with DID, *any* disorder is viewed as an extremely debilitating condition that makes people uncapable of living in society. When in reality, it makes it harder for average people to relate to them, so average people want to erase them from society.
Psychiatric clinics and hospitals were created to sponge any sort of undesired individual, even women who just betrayed their husbands, so people in society didn't have to see them or deal with them. And people got way too used to it.
I called this video (if it was mine) "15 WAYS To SUPPORT Someone With DID PSTD, ANXIETY... ETC! your channel it's very informative, people must know this, and I'm gonna tell u people with panic attacks and depresion feel the same thing as you, people with this kind for issues we are like little kids, we came from a lot of trauma, troubles, so thanks for doing this channel! thank u so much! we learn to treat people like u and I hope some day the world understand that we are human beings and we have troubles! please people be kind! u never know what people are passing through!
Today I just learned that a friend of mine has DID, and I was extremely shocked when he told me. I’ve been watching this channel for a while so I already did know some things about DID from the videos I watched so I was fortunately able to apply my knowledge from them, and he was happy that I was educated about it, and since I’ve known him for a while and he trusts me he was willing to show me two of his alters. I enjoyed talking to them and even though I was still in a state of shock I tried my best to remain respectful and aware of the situation, however even though I feel I did a good job at supporting him and his alters, I still feel I needed advice so I decided to watch this video, which I happen to have never seen before, and it was incredibly helpful. I don’t have DID so I don’t know from personal experience what it’s like but I’m trying to put myself in the perspective of one who does have it and this video helped me to further understand the appropriate way to interact with alters/systems in general. This video was very informative and I just wanna thank DissociaDID for making it, I love the channel and I really admire the work that they do ♥️
When you first started talking about sharing information about trama between alters without permission, my heart stopped in my chest. That would be so horrifying. It's so upsetting that some people can't or don't understand that alters are separate people with separate memories. Thank you so much for this whole video, it is absolutely fantastic.
First, I LOVE the eyeshadow! 😍 Second, this video seemed like it was kind of hard to film -- you discussed or referenced so many negative triggers and trauma. That's really brave of you to do. So I just wanted to say that I respect and appreciate the effort you put into this video, Chloe. I'm sure it will help a lot of people!
100% agreed! These are my thoughts exactly💖so brave
Thank you so much 💖💖💖💖😭
@@DissociaDID you deserve every single kind word💖💗we all love you!
One of my friends immediately watched this video after I told her I have DID and I can't express how grateful I am for that
Aww thatsnso sweet
Agree 100%. Triggering parts out without system's consent is mind control, you just don't do that.
I agree it can be very uncomfortable touching someone when they don't want to be touched. I don't have DID but I absolutely hate it when someone touches me when I don't want to be touched and can get very defensive and/or get in a fight or flight mindset.
I really appreciate what you said about there being no such thing as silly or stupid triggers. I don’t have DID but I suffer from medical related PTSD and I am often very embarrassed or ashamed of the things that can cause my PTSD to “flare up.” Panic attacks are usually what I end up with but I can look and act like a crazy person and often nobody has any idea why except whoever is with me. I don’t really leave my house unless I’m with someone who understands my situation because I’m still dealing with so much that’s right at the surface.
I’ve been pretty much bedridden for the last few days due to my condition and I’ve been binging your videos. You are a light in the darkness. Thank you for keeping me company, teaching me about a condition I knew little about, and bringing awareness and a positive light to mental healthcare in general. We need more people like you out there willing to speak their truth and show the world that mental health isn’t something to be feared or be ashamed of. It’s not a moral failing on our parts that our brains are wired a little differently, and there should be no stigma for seeing a doctor or therapist about whatever mental health issues arise over our lifetimes. It should be no different than seeking help for a physical ailment.
I’ve gone off on a tangent (thank you meds) but I just wanted you to know that you are making my corner of the world a little better and I’m learning a lot. Keep doing you!
going beyond, it should no shame or stigma about any person seeking mental health therapy, there is no shame or stigma about going to the doctor for a basic exam to see if you have something you're not aware of. And so many people are unaware of so many problems that could be treated with therapy and have no idea of how much their lifes can change for the better with it.
Ugh that waving hands in front of face thing... I mean honestly, would you whistle for a waiter/server? NO, hopefully not (they're people, not dogs). It's a similarly demeaning thing, to me/us. Very helpful video to share to singletons - thanks! ^_^
AWESOME!!!
Sharing this one straight away.
Number 11 is across the board, joking about trauma is a no go at all times because there is absolutely zero that is funny about it.
Thank you guys ❤️❤️❤️
i love learning more about this condition. i have a friend with did that i have known since far before i knew anything about did. back then i treated all of the system with respect but asked a lot of intrusive questions because i didn't understand, but having this information available has helped me understand more about him without making him uncomfortable. thank you for your contribution to science and helping the general population understand a very commonly misunderstood disorder.
I’m dating a system, and I have a notebook of their altars with things like triggers, no touch zones, and what they like and don’t. I’m doing my best to help them without “helping” them. Have a gorgeous day!
That's brilliant!
This made me realize I should probably stop talking to one of my friends as she disregards rules 4, 5, 11, 12, 13, and 14.
Especially because with 14 I told them before to stop and not touch me because it gets alters (especially littles) stuck into the front and messes with our vision.
My friend told me they were recently diagnosed with DID, and for the past three days I've been going down a bit of a research wormhole asking questions and finding out how to support them. Your videos have by far been the most helpful resource for clarifying any misconceptions I had about DID. Thank you for making this channel, you are doing some amazing work and I greatly admire you for the courage you and your alters have shown to talk about DID in such an open, non-judgmental and informative way. I also love the eye makeup!
Sending this to everyone I plan on telling about my DID.
I really needed this video 😣 I'm absolutely petrified of meeting someone with a System and saying or doing the wrong thing 😢
Thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️
Daaaaang!! I never even thought of the fact that you shouldn't share info with one alter that another alter told you. Thanks for pointing that out, i assumed it was okay but now i fully get why its not!
Yeah I never did but I thought it was like knowledge they shared but no it's very rpng
I've been watching this channel for a while now, but I recently learned that one of my friends actually has DID, so now I've got a personal stake in understanding it. This channel has been extremely helpful in that regard, so thank you for making it!
You guys are so wonderful. When I first got diagnosed, about 6 months ago, I was terrified but you guys normalize it and it makes it much less scary. So thank you so much for making me okay with this new part of my life.
We are very thankful for this channel. It helped us a lot after we've been diagnosed and started therapy. I hope you can be happy and safe as well.
i wanted to comfort someone with DID, depression, OCD and PTSD because they weren’t feeling well and i just researched for an hour what things could be offensive or triggering➰〰️➰
so thank you so much for this video, u helped me and definitely others a lot.
I recently found out that my partner has DID and this was so helpful and lovely! I love my partner so much and I want to support them and their alters the best I can and this video really helped! Thank you!
Question: are more adult alters ever co-conscious with littles? If so, if there more of an effort put towards keeping things PG (no cursing, etc), even though the littles aren’t fully out?
oh yes definitely
Whenever a little fronts in my system, there’s always another alter (usually our caregiver) that’s fronting or really close to the front to make sure if anything goes bad, they can say “nope we are getting out of here”
@@DissociaDID i had a question about that too, thanks!
I have a long question about not deliberately causing a switch, so please bare with me:
If an alter has a positive trigger, but they only front sometimes when they are made aware of this thing. For example, let's say an alter (B) likes a certain video game, but you've played this game with the host (or the alter you're currently hanging out with) and you want to play this game with them. You're not bothered but playing this game with B, but you don't want to force a switch. You know if you even asking about the game is risky, so even if you say "hey, do you wanna play this game even though B might front" could trigger it. How do you navigate that situation? Do you avoid mentioning it at all? Do you avoid all triggers positive and negative so you don't cause a switch?
That's such an interesting question! And the matter is delicate...I would love to know the answer to this!
It's all okay as long as you aren't trying to INTENTIONALLY trigger someone out!! That's where the issue lies! Accidental triggers happen all the time and are part of life, but if you are triggering on purpose simply because you want someone else to front, that's when it's problematic 💖
@@DissociaDID I still can't understand how someone would be cruel enough to do this and trigger someone out, and especially if the trigger is a harmful one. That's just so cruel...people with DID have already gone through so much and don't need more cruelty in their lives! It makes me so upset how someone can do that...
your fanbase are literally so pure and lovely, the live chat was so nice the whole time
OMG 19:46 THE SNAPPING. Beyond accurate of how that looks and I haaate it.
Honestly, with the snapping, never do that to anyone having a panic attack or an episode, whether a DID switch, a bipolar episode, or a schizophrenic episode. Stop, its rude and won't help
It’s somewhat unfortunate that you even have to discuss some of these topics, like touching someone without permission. It should just be common courtesy to treat people with respect no matter who they are... BUT this is obviously a great video, you really broke it down to even the tiniest of mistakes someone could make while interacting with someone with DID or other trauma related disorders. As usual, very informative and pleasant to listen to (had this on while cooking breakfast). Hope your little lip cut heals up! Haha
We were diagnosed in August 2018, and it's been really terrifying, but you guys's videos make me happy and "normal"
It is quite emotional watching this and realising Chloe is never going to do another video again. But Nin seems much healthier than Chloe was and so I'm very happy for her.
Thanks for the tips Chloe!! Was definitely good to learn how intentionally using positive triggers can be just as harmful as negatively triggering an alter :)
This is super helpful and so well done!!!!
I’ve been in a serious relationship with a man with DID for close to three years. I remember when we first met how he would hide his DID. I never felt unsafe, but I suspected things were off because he seemed forgetful or absent minded. He wouldn’t wear his glasses consistently, despite him telling me that he doesn’t use contacts. There was one date that we had where he was behaving very child-like. At the time, I was assuming he was being silly and playful, so I played along.
When we finally got to a point of intimacy, the next day I got this crazy angry text from him. He was referring to himself in a third person. I didn’t know what to make of it. I didn’t reply, but instead I thought about it for a while. I put two and two together and realized that he might be a DID case.
I waited until we were in person to talk to him. I asked if there was something he needs to tell me. I showed him the text. That’s when he talked about his DID for the first time.
I reassured him that it didn’t change how I felt about him. I told him that I wasn’t mad at the things that his alter - a primary protector - said to me. I said that it might make sense for him to talk to his mental health worker and get some advice. He withdrew for a lengthy period of time. He told me later on that he needed to square things with his system.
Over time, I got to know his system. I learned *his* rules because each individual with DID has their own rules and etiquette. For example, I have an excellent relationship with his primary protector. He’s the gatekeeper for the system, but is very suspicious of outsiders and very cynical. I had to work very hard to earn his trust. His *persecutor* which is not my favorite term tbh. I prefer it to use offensive protector because he holds all of the pain and rage so that the rest of the system can function - is a challenging relationship for me because I can’t reason with him. He’s not capable of calm rational thought. He seldom fronts, but when he does, it’s usually because of a moment of crisis or perceived crisis, so it’s his cry for “HELP.” When the offensive protector fronts, I will calmly say “It sounds like you’re really having a tough time. I want to fix it, but I don’t know what to do. Is it okay if we talk about it with [primary protector]. The primary protector is almost always co-conscious when he’s not fronting (unless we’re having sex. He doesn’t like that and will frequently complain that we do it too much.) Anyway, primary protector will have some kind of conversation in the background with the offensive protector. Depending on weather or not the issue concerns me, the primary protector may or may not front to include me in the conversation and act as a go-between. More often than not, it’s dealt with behind the scenes. According to the host, the offensive protector is less bothered by my presence and is taking an interest in me behind the scenes. He’s not fronting as much if at all, but is staying co-conscious more and more. The little, which I call him the kiddo, absolutely loves me and I make special time for him and I. I pack little snacks and leave notes for him. He likes those things.
Loving him means also loving and respecting his system. Just like he respects and loves me if I’m moody or not feeling well, I must treat his system with the same level of dignity. It’s possible to have a healthy and loving relationship with DID!
Gia Kürstenschweizer Thanks for this comment. :) I’m suspecting that my partner has some form of DID, and this comment helped me.
KayKayBayForever I found Rémy Aquarone, an Analytical Psychotherapist and Director of the Pottergate Centre for Dissociation & Trauma, based in Norwich, UK to be an excellent rescource in learning more about how to support loved ones with DID.
His lectures and UA-cam videos are extremely insightful.
I’m struggling so much at the moment I start therapy tomorrow but both my sister and my mum (my abuser) have disowned me I feel so lost and confused, I don’t even know where to start, I love this Chanel so much , I hope this can help my partner and who ever supports me in this mess I’m in
Thank you
I just want to thank you for putting this info out here! I have made new friends with a did system and this is really helping!
Last night someone I consider to be one of my best friends told me that she’s been worried and scared because she’s had several experiences that feel like DID. She said she didn’t want to self diagnose, she wants to find a therapist, but given current circumstances is having a hard time. She’s also got a lot of other stressors in her life right now. I have no experience with DID, but did my best to just listen to what she shared, and to assure her that I had no problem with this potentially being how her brain worked, and that if I encountered any of her alters I would be excited to meet them. But today the first thing I did was start googling. I love my friend, and I know that I don’t know anything about this. I don’t even know for sure that this is what’s going on with her. But it seems likely, and I want to be sure that I’ve learned everything I can about how to best love and support her in a way that feels good to her. I really really appreciate that you’re sharing your experience and the things that are helpful and harmful to you. I really appreciated having a starting point for how best to care for and love my friend as she goes through this. It is so important to me to care for the people I love to the best of my ability, and I didn’t have any knowledge for how to care for this. But I want to be the best supporter and friend and I can be, and I so appreciate the insight and advice you shared. I hope that I can be a supportive friend and that I can understand what my friend needs and looks for, and do my best to provide that. Thank you so much. ❤️
I always wonder how you get stuff in the inmer world.. Like plants in Sallys garden or furniture to set up your rooms / clothes and books etc.
Do you like image it or think of things you have seen in the outside world that you liked? And the books are they actual books that you could buy in stores or are they fairytale like stories practically made up by your mind but in a book form? Also do you eat inside?
I hope i don't bother you with these kind of questions it's just really interesting for me to image how you spend your time on the inside😅🙆🏼♀️
My brother describes it like a cloud with bunk beds
One of my really close friends has DID and this was really helpful so thank you
We, well at this point I have a friend (and it's wavering) who on the day I told them about my DID I had just gone through more trauma but plans were already made and in our situation we couldn't cancel. I told them about us after I switched at there home. They ended up meeting an learning about quite a few alters that day and they said my little was really cool (I have them a extremely large amount of trust to just tell them and even more to give them info on my littles) then she got bored of sitting in her room (she had just moved so it wasnt set up and it had nothing to do) so she started trying to get my little out by playing their favorite song and giving us plushs an I was telling her "stop don't do this this is bad to do" but she continues and my little did come out and didn't know that had happened so they go what they wanted and now I'm scared that they will try to do that again
Consent is key. Even as children, it is so imperative to let them know that their body is theirs alone. Never, ever force touch in any way. Like, don't say, "Give Grandma a hug," Instead ask, "Do you want to give Grandma a hug?" Make sure they understand you're safe and let them know that you'll listen.
Thank you so much for making this video! I just recently told my best friends about my system and have been trying to find a good correct and informative video to show them to better explain everything and dos and donts and everything and this one is just what I needed to get across what I needed them to know!
Hello :) I have a few questions that I wanted to ask in case you do another Q&A video, but if you have too many questions feel free to ignore mine because I do not have DID, so my questions are probably low priority.
1) How should one address you when they don’t know who is fronting? Would it offend any of the alters to be called Chloe?
2) do the littles know not to front when you are doing something that could be dangerous for them, like driving? Can the littles perform adult tasks?
3) I hope this isn’t offensive to ask but is Chloe the person who was, say, born into the body?
4) Do you have any alters that dislike fronting?
5) do you have any alters who are able to comfort Gregory? As a person with extreme anxiety I worry about him. (My grandfather, an Asian man, lived as a child through WWII and exhibits the characteristics that Chloe has described Gregory as having, so in a strange way I feel protective of him. I’m sorry if that’s strange, especially since I don’t know any of you and you don’t know me.)
Side note (I’m sorry because this is really none of my business) I really hope Chloe and Nadia are able to mend their relationship. It must be difficult to share a body with someone who you aren’t getting along with.
I love your videos and wish all the best for all of you!
Samantha Chang hi! ill answer for our system, feel free to ignore this :)
1. it depends who/which alter. generally though, no, theyre used to be calling the legal name of the original.
2.littles look through the eyes to check if its safe to front. they cant complete adult tasks as, they are children.
3. (talking about dissociadid, not our system lol) so chloe, (before did), was a person with a developing personality. due to trauma all of the personality just split to alters. the host our chloe, is not the original, but the closest to who it was. she just changed her name to chloe.
4. For us, yes.
thank you so so so much for this!!
i don't know anyone who has DID... yet, but i want to be ready and know how to respond and be a good support in case i ever do meet someone with DID. i like to make people as comfortable as possible and this has taught me a lot. 💕
That is such an excellent point about forced triggers to bring out certain alters! I have been wondering what yr opinions on glass [shamalan's sequel to split, not glass the individual in yr system] are, but this answers a big part of it. In the trailer, they show a behavioral psychologist forcing different alters to front, and it felt.... Invasive af. Listening to you, it basically sounds like a hypnotist snapping their fingers and getting you to dance for them without yr consent. That obviously isn't meant to diminish the validity of any of yr alters, but that's essentially how a fully integrated personality could relate to the experience.
My best friend just told me that he has did so now I’m watching all your videos to learn more about it and now I’m really exited to meet his alters and I just want them to be as comfortable as they can around me. I have ptsd myself so at least i know how to avoid triggers.
I also find asking questions with multiple options can be helpful, even for people who don’t have did, like “do you wanna talk about blank, or we could talk about option #1 or #2” or “can I hug you? Or we could fist bump!” Stuff like that
DissociaDID just took me to a whole new level of understanding DID with all the videos. Im gonna keep supporting or at least try to. Keep up the great education!
The chats are just as wonderful as the videos! They never fail to brighten up my week!
I'm so fascinated by this channel! Your all amazing and I learn so much. 💜
I keep watching this over and over again. Thank you! I just imagine my friends and family seeing this and finally understanding me
You did a WONDERFUL job, Chloe! Thank you so much! 💙
Ugh, such a perfect video to share with our friends and family. Thanks for making this, friends. Sending well wishes.
I have just been bingeing on this channel, its so amazing and brave what your system is doing. So far i have met Chloe, Kyle, Jade and Sally and you are all such strong amazing people! Thank you for sharing. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and dissociate and depersonalise alot, i was considering if i had DID and this channel is grounded so well in fact and education that i feel confident in my diagnosis of BPD so thank you!
I sent this to everyone on my contact list. On behalf of our system, I thank you.
P.S. I love your videos because you don't sugarcoat anything. You tell the truth and don't hesitate doing so.
I love this video so much! I really hope you weren't being out to much doing so much, I love and am proud of how your system works. It's nice to hear how you explained DID and it's similarity to PTSD, because I heard they're connected but didn't really understand the connection between the two so thanks very much for explaining. I respect you all and understand you all have different interest and jobs. Thanks so much for this video so that I will be able to help you all as much as I can! I totally understand that you all have different pasts and triggers, and all do incredible work in the system. I'm shocked that some people think it's funny to make you jump, or snap in your face or something while your dissociating, I would be so extremely terrified. I hope that you have all been treated well lately, and hope that many will learn and understand at least as much of this as I did. It's very important that you explained that if Ruby fronts because of a negaitive trigger she will be in fight mode ready to protect, but it doesn't mean that she'll fight, just means she'll be protective, just as she should, that's an important line that a lot of people need to realize in order to understand the truth. If you are comfortable with telling me when you started blinked and dissociating did you switch into another alter, or blend with another alter? It's totally okay if your not comfortable sharing that information, or you just didn't have the time to introduce yourself, I love you so much, and loved the video, and I respect if you'd feel safer not sharing who you are with us right away. I saw and loved the collab with the Labyrinth System. I respect you, your jobs, your emotions, your memories, and everything else. This is one of the best videos that you have done so far. Oh I had another question, so when you first start noticing the different alters, do the new alters come in gradually over time, and like all at once? Also, what is OSDD , how is it related to DID, and how is it different? It's such a pleasure to see this video!!!! I support and love you all so much!!! xxxxxx :)
one of my friends has a little who is like 10 or so and she sees me as an older brother and its the sweetest thing ever. all of the alters in that system are really really nice people. there are a lot of them that i haven't met or even heard of but i would genuinely love to meet all of them. when i found out my friend actually had DID i was confused and definitely surprised but after a week i was just like "yeah this is normal." i dont have alters myself but i treat every alter like they are their own person. i once compared the body to an apartment and all the alters are roommates and she said it was a pretty decent comparison. anytime one of the alters refers to someone outside the body as a "real person" i always kindly and politely reassure them that even tho they are an alter i still consider them a real person.
I love so much the effort that you put into making your videos! I have anxiety and for a while I had PTSD so where you talk on being asked to be touched or how to be comforted then that really struck home for me :-) thank you for everything you do to bring awareness!
Thank you so much for this video Dissociated! My friend has DID and I’ve been needing advice on how to support her. This video really helped me.
i just met someone w/ did and wanna make sure i dont accidentally offend them so this was a great help!! ^^
It's amazing how you work to put this information in a way that everyone understands. I'm really glad you did this video, it helps a lot not only in "real life" but also on the internet. They are incredible and wonderful people striving hard to have a good life and everyone plays an important role and in relation to the video that Kyle made I can feel the weight of it and that is what I have to reaffirm: YOU ARE UNBELIEVABLE!
Ps: not very good in english sooo sorry :p
This is such informative and helpful information. Great video! And what you were saying about people thinking one alter, especially the host, should be able to handle as many things as they can... After seeing Kyle's video, it's clear to me that each alter individually has a lot to handle because of past trauma and the work it takes for a system to function well together, and all together everyone's responsibilities are a lot more than the average neurotypical person would have to handle on their own. So I'm glad that you have a team of highly capable, very different individual personalities who are all working together to help your system succeed. Even though your system formed because of traumatic and terrible events, your system itself is a beautiful group of people who are doing amazing things in order to survive and thrive. I've really enjoyed getting to know different alters a bit in each video and to see how many of your alters not only have developed the abilities to deal with compartmentalized responsibilities, but are complete personalities who bring their own wisdom, strength, and joy into the system. Thanks again for all you've done with this channel, Chloe. I wish you guys all the best!
Thank you for this vid. A new friend recently told me that they have the disorder and I found out that it was one of the alters that I became friends with. This is really really helpful.
Great video
So much good advice from you and so much love and support in the chat. This is our first time to a premiere and it was lovely. -T
This is a very well thought out and put together guide. Thank you very much for taking the time to create a resource for us to pass on to our friends and loved ones in order to help them understand us better!
Came here because one of my best friends for seven years now has been diagnosed. We used to roleplay as kids with his alters that he said were just characters so I already know multiple of them. A lot of these tips are helping me to understand how all this works and the dos and donts and it’s helping keep things from becoming awkward or me making a terrible mistake. Thank you for the video!
One of my alters actually split off to herself in my early teenage years. I always thought of this as late in life. My therapist says it's most likely a result of the prior splits and "layers of trauma". I feel like I'm strange at times, and am wondering if anyone else has had this as part of their DID.
Yet another fantastic, informative, educational video! I am so glad I found this channel. Thank you for your courage and openness.
I love this channel!! I initially got into DID when UA-cam recommended a 1960s interview with a woman with multiple personality disorder and I thought it was absolutely fascinating. I’m hoping to go into psychiatry and study different mental disorders so I’m glad UA-cam finally led me in the right direction (shocking I know). Seeing how mental disorders affect people and their every day lives is absolutely amazing and I love how you all explain how DID works.
Well done!!!!!!!! Might be sharing this with some friends. Hope it helps many others as well! Thank you.
This was amazing, well executed and very eloquent while still being concise. I really appreciate that you made this video!
- Olivia
Hello:)
Thank to your amazing and well explaining videos, in the past few days I’ve learned a lot about DID. I only knew there was such Disorder, but mostly people had it confused with Schizophrenia! So I wanna thank you so much for the videos. I enjoyed learning from you a lot and passed it on immediately to my close friends and sent them links of your videos, One of which is studying Medicine and she already had some information about it, she was still fascinated to hear more though! I’ve met some of your Alters now and I should say I love you guys all! I’m really proud of all of you, since giving out some informations isn’t always easy but you guys try your best to give as much as possible to help others with or without DID to understand everything better!
I wanna thank you all for everything that you do for yourself and the DID community. In my opinion, it is really sad that a Child has gone through so much that they could not have handled, but the way that the brain makes such amazing System to handle it all, to deal with things and to protect them both mentally and physically , is just fascinating! To be honest me and my friends were saying that although the reason behind it breaks our heart, it’s literally the coolest mental disorder ever! I hope you get what I mean! We do consider what the System has gone through/goes through, but you know? 😅
This video is so valuable, I know supporters have said to me before that its difficult to know exactly how to help and so I'm pretty sure they are going to want to watch this video. I feel like this video (along with so many of your others) should be suggested to people when they first get diagnosed or are suspected to have DID/OSDD, sometimes when you are first coming to terms with things like this it can be hard to actually know and articulate to others what is and isn't helpful (it was for me anyway), I know something like this would have been immensely helpful when we first found out I had DID (of course it is still super helpful now as well though!). Thank You!
This was really helpful and awesome! I don't know anyone with DID but I do have PTSD and relate a lot to people feeling like I have "silly" triggers. Thanks for rasing awareness!
Thank you soooooo much! This is amazing. I've been struggling with DID for so very long. Back in the 90's when i first discovered that I had DID, I read a lot about healing from abuse, It only helped a little, and I have struggled on my own, some good therapists, lots of bad ones. Im so excited that more real information is now out there. Im so amazed at the bravery of those coming out. Wow! I agree with everything you say in this video! So right on!
If you want tl text your friends about it heres what to type:
Your friends name,
I neex to tell you something, i have dissociative identity disorder aka(DID). Dissociative identity disorder (DID), previously known as multiple personality disorder (MPD), is a mental disorder characterized by the maintenance of at least two distinct and relatively enduring personality states. This is accompanied by memory gaps beyond what would be explained by ordinary forgetfulness. That means that someone hurt me so bad that my brain made walls of thinking and thats what creates my different personalities/alters. Now im going to tel, you some of my alter names:
Now im going to tell you about alter roles. Alter roles are the roles that you different personalities have to keep you brain safe because of the people that hurt me.
1. Protectors. Protectors are just that protectors. Protectors are alters that might come out when someone is trying to hurt us or if there is danger.
2.Littles. littles are alters that are from the ages 1-10. Littles might come out when there are for example, stuffed animal's, soft things,ect
3.Fragments. Fragments are alters that dont really have a big role.
4.Locked alters. Locked alters are alters that dont come out and are only in the inner world.
5.Hosts. Hosts are alters that come out the most often.
And 6. Middles. Middles are alters that are from the ages 10-around 15.
Now im going to tell you aboit some terminology:
Alters:my different personalities.
Inner world:Where my alters(and me) leave.
Come out/front:when an alter is in full controle of the body.
Co-consciousness:when more then one alter is in full control of the body.
Trigger:Something that makes me have a flachback about my trauma.
Now if you have any questions please tell me thank you for reading this cause this is really long😊
Sorry, i spelled some things wrong. I didn't notice until I posted it and then read it
Your videos are as educational and helpful as always! I love watching them and being able to understand more about DID. I don't have it myself, but I really hope that if I ever get the pleasure of meeting someone that has it, I'll be able to know what to do in certain situations. Sending you lots of love
Thank yall so much for talking about this! I found your covering on touch and triggers to be very important for my system! My system is one of the few that has the capability of instead of freezing we go straight into fight mode. I have a problem with friends wanting to treat me too close and hugging not knowing who's out, or grabbing my arm, etc. I know they don't mean harm, but if they startle some of mine inside, they can get hit pretty hard or bit/scratched. And even my husband has used positive triggers before to call out certain ones inside. At one point I was co conscious when he tried it and listened to our own Ruby tell him off for being rude to me. :) I love my inner family! LoL! We might not always get along, but I always know they have my back!
Thank you for sharing! This helps a lot.
I’m also very fortunate that the host in the system I know is very open about his needs
I cannot say how much this has helped, I noticed that I was doing some things wrong with chatting with a friend with DID and I wanted to help them love themselves, I must say that this has helped me a lot.
Recently found out my partner has DID (we’ve been together for years and it’s really been something we’ve learned about together) and this channel is our main trusted source for this information and I just wanted to say thank you for all that you do, because it’s made a world of difference to us all
Such helpful and wise advice! Thanks Chloe!
Hi from Poland :) I’m new to the topic... cant wrap my head around it yet to be honest... but i super admire your positivity and acceptance to the situation! Im gonna keep watching ;)
Chloe, thank you for the wonderful advice. I hope you, your partner, and both of your systems have a great rest of your week :)
here's what's super important, educate yourself, even if you don't know someone now who has DID, one day you might and it's better to be educated that way there are fewer barriers, watching this channel for a really really long time has made me want to go into specializing in DIDas a therapist and want to truly delve into this "disorder'. Thank you to the dissociaDID system for opening up my eyes to this world and teaching me and others so many things
I don’t have DID, but one of my closest friends does and I’ve been using your channel to help me understand her and her alters more. It’s been very helpful, thank you! I suffer from my own mental health issues - GAD, OCD and depression, and we’re able to support each other. Again, thank you!
An online friend of mine told me they're a part of a system. A few of their alters have actually spoken to me. This video has really helped. I hope y'all are doing okay
I think this is a very useful and helpful video - though, really, all your videos on DID and related topics are greatly helpful for anyone who either deals with this condition, or (like me) just genuinely wants to learn more! 💖
Granted, I don't have DID, but personally I think that respecting another person, including their personal space and personal boundaries, is a MAJOR thing, which honestly can't be talked about enough, regardless of whether that person has DID, OSDD, PTSD, any other mental health conditions and also even if they aren't struggling with anything of that sort. EVERYONE deserves to be respected, to have their personality and views and preferences, and most importantly their boundaries, accepted! I mean, obviously it's especially something to be mindful of when it comes to people dealing with mental health issues such as trauma (as they already deal with so much else, and it could be triggering for them and everything), but ultimately it's NEVER okay to treat people poorly, and more importantly it's NEVER okay to just invade someone's personal space or touch them, especially if you don't know them well - I mean, even if you have the most innocent, positive motivation such as just wanting to be friendly or comforting, or if in your culture it's just the way it is to give hugs or kiss someone's cheeks as greeting, it's not right to just assume another person will be okay with that.
... I really do hope that this didn't sound like me implying this video came across as saying otherwise, it didn't - don't worry! - this is just something I personally feel quite strongly about, even though I don't have DID or any other trauma related condition, because personally I never liked being touched by strangers or even family friends even when I was little, and also with the MeToo movement and other similar movements/campaigns I just feel that the issue of generally respecting people and also the issue of respecting people's personal space & boundaries can't be stressed enough or talked about enough.
Hi! I never knew this condition existed but wow, I know you must be used to it now but it must’ve been so scary! I can’t even begin to imagine what DID is like. You explain it so well and it’s interesting watching your videos, I think you and people with DID are so brave! much love, to you all 😃 x
The zooms make me giggle but I realize they're for emphasis.
This video was incredibly helpful. Thank you
I just wanted to say that I find the information on your channel absolutely fascinating. Thank you for sharing this information with us.