The TRUTH About TRAUMA?! | PTSD, CPTSD, OSDD and Dissociative Identity Disorder

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  • Опубліковано 13 кві 2019
  • "What was your Trauma?" Here are a few reasons why you shouldn't ask people this question!
    Apologies for the lighting in this video, the sun set really fast! :O
    The Entropy Systems video:
    • 4 Reasons Why I Don't ...
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 1,2 тис.

  • @EsterToledo-wi3bw
    @EsterToledo-wi3bw 5 років тому +4538

    Have you ever thought of doing a TEDx Talk? It would be so amazing

    • @DRAGON1995
      @DRAGON1995 5 років тому +582

      Who wants to start the petition for it?

    • @DissociaDID
      @DissociaDID  5 років тому +1147

      We would LOVE to do this

    • @rowanb2355
      @rowanb2355 5 років тому +41

      YYAAAAASSSSS!!!!!

    • @JimCroz
      @JimCroz 5 років тому +87

      DissociaDID Chelmsford has a TEDx coming up I think. They might still be looking for speakers.

    • @georgerobins4110
      @georgerobins4110 5 років тому +13

      Ester Lima
      Omg please let this happen!!!

  • @AMNmrrll
    @AMNmrrll 5 років тому +3779

    Here's how I respond when people ask about my trauma: "Ooo! That's a level 500 Friend question. You're only a 2. Sorry."

  • @FloralMedic
    @FloralMedic 5 років тому +1776

    One of my friends comforted me by saying (it’s a little silly) “You wouldn’t dig up a grave to check if a body is dead and validate that, so you wouldn’t ask for trauma either”
    Edit: oh gosh this is my biggest comment I’m glad people agree I thought it was such a good analogy and has comforted me for sure. Thanks for the heart too means so much 💕

    • @20Unbelievable06
      @20Unbelievable06 5 років тому +23

      TRUTH! just because you don't know what happened, doesn't mean it's not valid!

    • @FlymoAndHarley
      @FlymoAndHarley 5 років тому +106

      "I just wanna check he's dead."
      "But... he's been in the ground for 16 years."
      "Yeah but... I just wanna check. I don't know how he died."
      "Why does it matter?"
      "Because he might not really be dead, maybe he's just sleeping."
      "Trust me, he's dead. It doesn't matter how he died, that won't change the fact that he is gone. Digging him up won't change what happened to him, it'll just make you look like an idiot and re-traumatise his family."
      "Yeah but... I'm just curious."
      -sigh-
      Just because you're curious, doesn't mean you're entitled to the knowledge of what has happened to somebody. They'll tell you, if and when they want to tell you.

    • @8lavenderrose8
      @8lavenderrose8 5 років тому +15

      Unless the bell is ringing

    • @AdelleOverton
      @AdelleOverton 5 років тому +3

      YES YES YES YES! This is a *perfect* analogy! 💜💜💜

    • @av3ngers17
      @av3ngers17 5 років тому +3

      @@8lavenderrose8 I understood that reference!

  • @chrisclark784
    @chrisclark784 4 роки тому +370

    I had college professor, who is now a lifelong friend, hug me at my graduation, she had severe PTSD and hugs were a trigger and she always made that clear to her students every year. I tear up, that hug was more meaningful than the diploma. I still don't feel worthy of that hug, and have mad props to her for that courage.

    • @zdiegi5493
      @zdiegi5493 3 роки тому +6

      WOW, that's sooo beautiful!😮

    • @aarnzoo5124
      @aarnzoo5124 3 роки тому +5

      I’m not crying, I’m not crying... 😭

  • @JeremyBerimy
    @JeremyBerimy 5 років тому +1042

    I thought I already understood PTSD but I actually didn’t realise people experienced the memory as if it was happening in the moment so thank you for this. I thought it was bad already but this makes it way more intense than I realised.

    • @dw2971
      @dw2971 5 років тому +49

      for me i know its not happening its jsut that i reposnd as if it is, and i cant control that response

    • @mamamiafreedom
      @mamamiafreedom 5 років тому +55

      PTSD is so much more than people realize. I could go from looking, behaving normally, to heart racing, sweaty, breathing fast or gasping because I couldn't breathe, crying or mumbling because I couldn't get words out, vision blurred, dizziness, or even just standing there shocked, staring blankly and not speaking a word. All because of a trigger that sent me into overdrive and my brain essentially told me I was re-living the trauma all over again, instead of just a simple memory. With ptsd you might not know your triggers or can't control how you respond. People who haven't experienced ptsd have no clue how unnerving it is to live like that. For me it took years of therapy to understand my triggers, control my responses, and to feel safe and know I am ok in the moment of a flashback.

    • @Emmsley14
      @Emmsley14 5 років тому +18

      With my ptsd it's like I'm actually there in the trauma if I get triggered. It's awful and it forces me to relive it helplessly over and over

    • @youtubetrash3196
      @youtubetrash3196 5 років тому +14

      Singing Owl yes, it is not like you are just simply thinking about it & cry about what happened. When something or someone triggers your ptsd, it feels as if you have gone back to that time or place and are reliving it. To me with ptsd, it feels like I am there and I remember all of the bad things again. It is like you are in that place and time again. It sucks, but I try to manage

    • @mrsslibby6857
      @mrsslibby6857 5 років тому +12

      Flashbacks are like that yes. But there’s so much more to PTSD than just flashbacks. There’s dissociation, avoidance, depression, anxiety. I’ve been able to get rid of my flashbacks through a type of therapy called EMDR but I still have to deal with the rest of it. It can get better though. There is hope people!!

  • @neoqwerty
    @neoqwerty 5 років тому +458

    I don't really remember who it was that said this to me, but it's a powerful sentence I hold close to my heart. Slightly paraphrased because it applies to so many situations: "You didn't become a kind, loving person because of trauma. You became kind and loving IN SPITE of it. You would have been kind and loving even without it."

  • @e.bad.3345
    @e.bad.3345 5 років тому +242

    “You are not defined by your trauma.”
    I needed to hear that tonight. Thank you for this video.

  • @acc45460
    @acc45460 5 років тому +1805

    I don't understand why people ask about trauma...
    It is trauma. You don't ask a stranger about this. Someone you're not friends with. And even with friends you should ask really carefully and not push them to tell you anything!
    that's... basic human knowledge.
    A trauma is not a "awww you're sad? let me help you!" kind of thing...
    sorry if I sound like a super-smart-better-than-you-whatever but I just don't get it.

    • @kidinthekelp5570
      @kidinthekelp5570 5 років тому +36

      I honestly never asked anyone about their trauma. It's none of my business.
      Also I want people to come forward with that type of thing without me pushing or implying.

    • @SmyleTweety
      @SmyleTweety 5 років тому +7

      Exactly what I thought!

    • @Flusterette
      @Flusterette 5 років тому +24

      Unrelated to DID, & food for thought:
      People do this to paramedics, nurses, fire fighters, police, emergency dispatchers, corrections officers and army personnel without thinking, either. And often try to seem tough and impress us by offering crass opinions because they think *we are* since we've "seen it all." Which can make someone feel crappy if something bothered them, and drive them to feel pathetic and possibly inadvertently now looking to self-harm.
      As if we can dissociate from the dangers we sometimes put ourselves in, and of course from the horrible things the people we serve experience with us, or the things we empathize with that they've gone through.
      We can't just be the happy and invunerable hero. It's a face we put on. And often the times you want to run and say, "I'm done: get an adultier adult, or a better me," we realize we've got to hunker down to summon our reserves of 'fight' to think through difficult situations.
      And if a service isn't well supported monetarily with appropriate staff, sometimes there's much pressure to get right on the road again. And when it's busy like that, you're more likely to experience multiple crap calls per day because they need to be responded to first.
      Yes, we signed up for it in a sense. But no matter how you teach about the issue of PTSD among workers in the emergency services fields, you can't fully prepare. By the nature of the disease, it's impossible to.
      Plus, the denial factor. "You'll know when you need help, you're a pro and you've been taught." / "It's ok to cope how I'm coping, I'll know when self-medicating is a problem." / "I don't want to be weak or have to take a medical leave of absence or go on modified off-duty shifts!"
      The # of first responder suicides is rising and rising. Because of PTSD & it not bring properly mitigated in advance (working too much, not seeing a therapist until in crisis).
      Chloe & The Dissociadid System: what you're doing is so great. Please keep up the amazing work!!

    • @yeou8702
      @yeou8702 5 років тому +9

      Me too. I don't do that. When they think "Yeah, it's time, it's THAT person, I trust her/him very much, he's/she's my friend" okay, I'm here to hear, to trying to maybe help You a little bit if You want to.

    • @orangesaph604
      @orangesaph604 5 років тому +2

      Ikr?! You'd think people would know better

  • @sourgummiez
    @sourgummiez 5 років тому +957

    I love your big brown eyes so much :) they are soo expressive

    • @DissociaDID
      @DissociaDID  5 років тому +116

      thank you! 😍😯

    • @sunflowerthebunbunbunny
      @sunflowerthebunbunbunny 5 років тому +13

      Courtney Pie - ikr and the makeup!!!

    • @rpaul9578
      @rpaul9578 5 років тому +20

      I know right it's almost criminal how beautiful her eyes are.

    • @jemmarnadine617
      @jemmarnadine617 5 років тому +9

      I totally read that as expensive at first... I thought wow that's a weird choice of words 😂 😂 😂 I. Need. Sleep. Lol

    • @saramaccormack5475
      @saramaccormack5475 5 років тому +2

      Courtney Pie when i first read this I thought it said expensive hahahahaha

  • @jeanettewaverly2590
    @jeanettewaverly2590 5 років тому +97

    PTSD as a "memory-filing error." I like that.

  • @rosieprice3432
    @rosieprice3432 5 років тому +639

    You're a genuine inspiration and I'm so sorry you want through any trauma xx

  • @MultiplicityAndMe
    @MultiplicityAndMe 5 років тому +353

    Thank YOU Chloe! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 this was so needed! We’ve heard it so much over the years and everything you’ve said in this is so relatable 💗 thank you so much again! Xx

    • @StephAspinallSings
      @StephAspinallSings 5 років тому +34

      MultiplicityAndMe I’m so sorry you have to deal with people that don’t understand how personal that information is. I love your system and I love Chloe and her system and I’m so happy I found your channels. I don’t have DID but I am so happy to have the opportunity to learn through you all.

    • @DissociaDID
      @DissociaDID  5 років тому +42

      💖💖💖💖💖💖

  • @four1629
    @four1629 5 років тому +332

    1:47 - 2:11 CHLOE CAME FOR THEIR NECKS
    Okay but all jokes aside, common sense. It's hard to talk about things that are simply embarassing. Trauma so mentally damaging it rewired your brain is not something you bring up as a conversation starter. No one owes you an explanation, and if they don't feel safe talking to you about this trauma, that's not their fault. It's their trauma. Don't try and pressure someone into telling you anything, especially something that was so damaging. That's the epitome of disregard for someone's mental/emotional health.

    • @carter3774
      @carter3774 4 роки тому +6

      I don't know any scenario where I NEED to know someone's trauma. If they decide to share it with me I will support them in any way I can, but if they don't, they don't. It's not my place to ask.

  • @CoRLex-jh5vx
    @CoRLex-jh5vx 5 років тому +57

    Also, let's not forget the age old: "Oh but that happened ages ago!"
    So many people have no idea how much people with trauma fear hearing that. First time I heard that phrase was from my best friend and bully, relating to my great grandmother's death. "It was a year ago, you've got no excuse for being sad still." We were 7. I've heard it far too many times since. "It was ages ago, it's not as if it was recent, it's not as if it even left any lasting marks lol." For the most part, I don't mind talking about my trauma. But some things I will not go into, because they are far too horrific and acknowledging them at all is bad enough.
    If someone seems open enough about their trauma, then you can maybe ask a few questions, while assuring them they don't NEED to answer. Some people want to talk about things but can't just say them out of the blue, and can't find the right time to, so asking questions can be helpful. But do not pry too deep, and if they don't seem comfortable, do not pry at all. Also, I'd highly recommend asking if you can ask them questions first. Just to be sure.

  • @alfredovazquezh4444
    @alfredovazquezh4444 5 років тому +139

    I'm studying psychology and thanks to you I've decided that I'm going to specialize in Trauma Disorders.
    People can be so insensitive about this topics, specially in disorders as stigmatized as DID. There's tons of research to be done, tons of help to be provided and tons of stigma to be broken.
    Thank you for making this channel, you're making the world a better place 🖤

    • @bensayal
      @bensayal 5 років тому +8

      Alfredo Vázquez congratulations! Good luck with your studies and thank you for trying to make a positive difference to the lives of this who have DID

    • @squidneythesquid2487
      @squidneythesquid2487 5 років тому +2

      Alfredo Vázquez good luck, that seems like a very interesting study, the brain is amazing and the way it copes with trauma is just amazing

    • @caylaflinter366
      @caylaflinter366 4 роки тому

      I know this may be late but I'm also wanting to study psychology although I'm still young. Do you have any tips?

    • @sagejennings4342
      @sagejennings4342 3 роки тому

      Good on you! As someone with a trauma disorder, I thank you. Less stigmatism!

  • @abrilakgun
    @abrilakgun 5 років тому +401

    I have to admit that I find DID incredibly interesting.. just because it makes me think how complicated and amazing our brains are. I’m not going to deny that at some point I wondered what kind of trauma Some people with DID have gone through, again the reason is that I wanted to understand just how much a child’s mind has to go through before creating an alter.. so you know what I did people?? I freaking googled stories of people who had been already willing to share their stories!! Not asking survivors to talk about something that they have said they won’t talk about it!!! Just because she is online it doesn’t mean she owes us anything! I understand being curious, but that doesn’t mean you need to go around asking people about their most painful memories, some people have already shared the stories but that’s very personal. I have no problem talking about how I was abused with anyone if the topic of abuse comes up, I can talk about it, it doesn’t affect me, but that’s MY decision! It doesn’t have to be everybody’s choice

    • @georgerobins4110
      @georgerobins4110 5 років тому +33

      Abril Akgun
      Good on you for looking for people who already willingly shared their stories instead of badgering other people for theirs.

    • @orangesaph604
      @orangesaph604 5 років тому +21

      I agree 100%! And good idea, that's a smart sensitive way to learn more about trauma so good on you with that one

    • @callieerenee8230
      @callieerenee8230 5 років тому +21

      There’s a book called switching time a true story about DID, in it they discuss the trauma that person went through, I think reading it helped me understand the extent of the type of traumas that cause these disorders so it helped me understand a lot better why it is so important we are careful about what we say and ask. But please note that it is VERY triggering so please read at your own risk, however it’s a small part of a very informative book!

    • @birdnerd6651
      @birdnerd6651 5 років тому +34

      What people are capable of doing to children is sickening. You don’t have to imagine, its in the papers all the time. Abusers see children as their property, not as living autonomous beings. When I had my son, I was stunned for months because it became so clear to me that the people who were supposed to take care of me just didn’t. Before then I was blaming myself. Becoming a parent brings all of this into focus. You look at your child and all you want to do is keep that person safe. But there are so many people who don’t see children as their responsibility. They see it the other way around, that their children exist to entertain and care for their parents.

    • @abrilakgun
      @abrilakgun 5 років тому +7

      Luna Sears I agree with you so much. I look at my little baby boy and I just don’t understand how ANYONE would hurt them.. is sickening..

  • @LUEEROCKS
    @LUEEROCKS 5 років тому +183

    HEY GUYS. IM WATCHING THE VIDEO NOW AND I JUST WANTED TO SAY YOU ALL ARE SUPER LOVELY AND I HOPE YOU ARE HAVING A FANTASTIC DAY/NIGHT

  • @alfieward5170
    @alfieward5170 5 років тому +187

    This was a difficult watch as someone who has ptsd but I definitely needed to hear it. It made me think about my trauma in a different way so thank you.

    • @divineuniverse7249
      @divineuniverse7249 5 років тому +5

      Al Ward me too, I felt my heart starting to speed up I had my hands get hot and my mind slipping I had to snap out

    • @doha2026
      @doha2026 4 роки тому +1

      same thing:( i almost started having a panic attack and i had to try my best to ground myself

    • @madimoonchild
      @madimoonchild 3 роки тому

      Me too my heart was racing and head was dizzy. Just trying to stay calm but I needed to hear it🥺

  • @gracer503
    @gracer503 5 років тому +579

    off topic, but I'm loving the hair colour! Who chose it this time?

    • @espurrsdead17
      @espurrsdead17 5 років тому +8

      Ikr I love it!

    • @orangesaph604
      @orangesaph604 5 років тому +12

      Correct me if I'm wrong but I think it was Ruby?

    • @orangesaph604
      @orangesaph604 5 років тому +8

      @@christianf.5553 Ah, ok. Thank you for clarifying :)

    • @charmomiletea1642
      @charmomiletea1642 5 років тому +38

      Can I just say that with short black hair and the makeup seen in this video, Chloe would look JUST LIKE Snow White!! It would be so cool to see if they tried that sometime:).

    • @CamilaSaurus
      @CamilaSaurus 3 роки тому +1

      @@charmomiletea1642 When I first came across her video (with dark hair), I thought she looked like Snow White too!

  • @katies7013
    @katies7013 5 років тому +119

    I'm very sorry that people genuinely don't understand that it's inappropriate to ask you about your trauma. Thank you so much for educating us all, I really hope your video allows somebody, even if it's just one person, to re-evaluate how they act. Thank you💞

    • @amykate8140
      @amykate8140 5 років тому

      Katie S very very well said!!!!

  • @GraysBlue
    @GraysBlue 5 років тому +53

    i cant stop crying. this whole channel is beautiful and i feel honored to have found it. i couldnt have described trauma any better, and im going to send this video to everyone that has asked about my trauma. thank you so much for sharing this information as well as your story.

  • @georgerobins4110
    @georgerobins4110 5 років тому +129

    This is the first time I've heard of flashbacks described in this way. Thank you ❤️

  • @emmmaleficent
    @emmmaleficent 5 років тому +76

    Just a note that it's entirely possible - and not particularly uncommon - to have PTSD without having flashbacks. Flashbacks are one of many symptoms experienced in PTSD but they are not required for diagnosis.

  • @georgerobins4110
    @georgerobins4110 5 років тому +35

    Something that's really important too, sometimes even talking about being triggered can be triggering, even if you don't even remember your trauma.

  • @delaneymaser3797
    @delaneymaser3797 5 років тому +87

    Chloe, I love how eloquent you speak in these videos. I really enjoy this video and appreciate all the content you and all the alters choose to create. Asking someone about their trauma just isn’t kind, to empathize with people we don’t necessarily need to know what they experienced, we just need to support them in the present. Great video can’t wait for the next one!

  • @anacatalina3981
    @anacatalina3981 5 років тому +73

    Love how eloquent you are in all of your videos, I’ve learnt so much about DID with your channel.

  • @miriamfelman3591
    @miriamfelman3591 5 років тому +65

    I'm writing a character with PTSD, and this was an amazing explanation. Thank you.

  • @tanyald498
    @tanyald498 5 років тому +46

    It's not my job to decide if your trama is valid. I don't know why people think they are entitled to others private information. We don't need to make this any harder for you, we are all here to support you in what you think is best for the system!

  • @noone-ng9cn
    @noone-ng9cn 5 років тому +35

    The fact that people can show themselves and tell their story In such a vulnerable state and put it online for educations sake is honestly so admirable. Much love. 💞

  • @rusty_lee6472
    @rusty_lee6472 Рік тому +10

    Never in my life have I heard ptsd and flashbacks explained in this way. It makes so much sense and I finally have ways to explain what's happening in my brain. I am so glad you were able to do this becoz years on you are still helping people. I can't express my feels of greatfulness rn now. Thankyou

    • @alysmarcus7747
      @alysmarcus7747 10 місяців тому

      ditto to that - short of we didn't even have this information in the 70's . . . being as young and articulate being able to explain this with such compassion is nothing short of awesome .

  • @Robynsonfire
    @Robynsonfire 5 років тому +23

    Chloe sweetly asking why these people feel so entitled and then dragggging them in her sweet matter of fact calm manner has been the highlight of my day.

  • @shacklehoff6213
    @shacklehoff6213 5 років тому +3

    Can you do the Pottermore sorting quiz with some of your alters? I think it would be fun to see what houses they’re in

  • @oliviaengelhardt2064
    @oliviaengelhardt2064 4 роки тому +36

    So...basically my brain just said Error 404, can‘t process this happening rn. Damn.

  • @andreaatkinson2251
    @andreaatkinson2251 5 років тому +17

    Girl you rock.
    I have a friend who has DID, PTSD and some other things. Although I suffered trauma myself I was 12 when it started. She was much younger. I help her and support her as much as I can but I would never dream of asking her to tell me about her trauma. It would be a very cruel thing to do to someone. I have seen many comments on your videos when people ask this and it makes my mind flip wondering why they would need to know.
    Thank you for the videos you have produced. They have helped me to learn more about something I had no knowledge of before and helped me to understand my friend and her alters and their needs much better.

  • @hadasss8903
    @hadasss8903 5 років тому +22

    Thank you for this video. I am suffering from PTSD and this is so so so important. I love all of you in the system and love this channel.

  • @brooklindonaldson1225
    @brooklindonaldson1225 4 роки тому +2

    I get told "if you won't tell me what you went through then it didn't really happen" or "oh well whatever happened must not have been to bad you'll get over it" 😐😪

  • @MauraxX
    @MauraxX 5 років тому +16

    Thank you so much for this video!! Some people just don’t understand, I’ve had people be like, “yeah I think I know what it’s like to have PTSD!”
    But they don’t have it, so they don’t know, and I’m like sure Jan. 🙄 but you all of you guys so much, great video as always!! ❤️❤️

  • @mollyflitcroft5328
    @mollyflitcroft5328 5 років тому +21

    I personally am very interested/curious about trauma and it's effect on the brain from a psychological point of view but I would never dream of asking someone about their personal trauma, why would you do that? I honestly can't put into words how just sort of sick that makes me feel, asking someone something so personal without consent to. I'm so sorry that people have been asking you about your trauma through youtube (I've been following you for a while now and it always makes me sad when I see people ask questions about you experience) I hope that having made this video, you'll get less questions about it! Much love xx

    • @mollyflitcroft5328
      @mollyflitcroft5328 5 років тому +1

      Also just want to say, you've liked 3 of my comments now and every time you do I have a little (big) fangirl moment😂💕

  • @TheRenwmn
    @TheRenwmn 4 роки тому +1

    I'm sorry that anyone with trauma related disorders have to deal with such inconsiderate inquires. It is an honor to be told by someone what conditions they deal with or have had. Knowing that information does not entitle anyone to details or further information. I don't know that it is ever appropriate to ask someone what trauma they have experienced in their life even if you become super close to them. If you care about someone you don't want to see them suffer. It is more appropriate to say, "If you ever want to talk about anything, I'm truly here for you. I care about you and nothing that you share about your life will change that."

  • @AlaaChan
    @AlaaChan 4 роки тому +1

    Never quite understood flashbacks like this before ~
    You're a very good teacher

  • @lnourb
    @lnourb 4 роки тому +13

    Hello! I saw somewhere you were having a rough one, I hope you are in good care and I send all the love I can to your whole system and loved ones. Just want to chip in a good word, you are incredibly brave, smart and generous. The way you research and share on a topic so vulnerable and close to you is really amazing and it is something I am desperately looking for in all aspects of social support and awareness, regarding all the -isms and stigmas, and yeah, I guess I wanted you to know how special this is and how much hope it gives to see a pearl in the ashes. You are incredible not despite but even more so because of your struggles and the way you are reacting to them with kindness and generosity. I see the amount work you do and appreciate every part of it, even taking time to be away from it. Thank you

    • @qazsertyer
      @qazsertyer 4 роки тому +2

      Thank you for your great comment, thanks to it I see that DissociaDID is still there, and it is great to know that they are ok.
      I'm one of the new subscribers, I don't even know if Nin will read this but your videos about dealing with mental health have been of incredible help.
      You have been helping many people and have given so much, sometimes putting yourself at risk in benefit of others. I am truly grateful for your braveness of being in Anthony's video, otherwise me and many people would have never found such helpful videos.

  • @Travelling_with_my_dog
    @Travelling_with_my_dog 5 років тому +13

    It never ceases to amaze me how insensitive people can be. I am sorry that you had trauma in the first place, and sorry that you have to relive it when people ask intrusive questions.
    Thank you so much for this channel; you are a good teacher!

  • @elizabethjones8207
    @elizabethjones8207 4 роки тому +1

    Oh goodness thank you! No one can say it enough. I hate having someone overhear me telling a close friend that I had a flashback (PTSD) and people butting in asking me why

  • @yuurinayase8377
    @yuurinayase8377 5 років тому +1

    Her eyes are so hypnotising

  • @kslmt
    @kslmt Рік тому +5

    I love that you recognize that this painful question doesn't always come from unkind intentions, but sometimes from a desire to empathize or more deeply understand. Having said that, I appreciate you educating people about this being an unacceptable question, despite the intentions.

  • @cassandraleea7320
    @cassandraleea7320 5 років тому +6

    I have received so much help through your channel. Thank you so much for doing this for us

  • @DemraSynfata
    @DemraSynfata 5 років тому +1

    for those who are curious- descriptive mentions of abuse and trauma coming up-;
    a part of my trauma was my abuser brainwashing me to think im exactly like him, and that was reinforced by even other people that were being abused by him at the time because i was the strongest one. i acted as a shield for everyone else as much as i could, but that also means i absorbed and internalized a lot of his traits and methods and the harm.
    ive been having trouble with my job lately because i have a lot of absences, and i recently explained how bad my flashbacks get and how its really unreasonable to expect me to know ahead of time when itll happen and call in while its happening because im basically not there, or on the floor screaming, sobbing, and throwing up while its happening. and id really rather that not bleed into my professional life at all for.. obvious reasons.
    i had my roommate call in for me as soon as i could communicate it, give brief details about me possibly needing to be hospitalized so theyd take it seriously but not press for info, but we got an extremely insensitive and difficult to deal with reaction, and i was basically shoved back balls deep into my flashbacks again, and it took me another 3 hours to recover. i lost that day of pay, and if my psych wasnt so great with emails, i wouldve had to pay $20 for a doc note, which is required at this point. i only make minimum wage and ive got bills and rent to pay or ill end up back with my abuser. and they know this.
    and i feel like im forced to explain everything and work way harder than everyone else just to keep my job despite 3 years of loyalty, and i never wanted any of them to know any of this horrific shit in the first place. the strain is getting to me. my abuser also had a hard time keeping a job because he'd start conflict with people on purpose a lot over petty things, and then he'd blame his mental illness and guilt us if we even so much as mentioned any discomfort from the economic instability. we were only kids. but sometimes i think im just a copy of him. and its so hard to separate myeslf from it all sometimes, because im literally like this because of him, and im literally half his genetics. and i wonder why i cant just get my shit together like everyone else, and why couldnt he get his fucking shit together.
    i started crying like a fucking baby at around 10~11 minutes in. i feel so broken and sometimes i really believe i wasnt meant to exist in the first place, that my brain shouldnt have adapted and everything wouldve been better if i had just died. and i just really needed to see this video today. youre giving me a lot of comfort in a really.. not ok time for me. so thank you.

  • @kaistone1753
    @kaistone1753 5 років тому +1

    yes, it's awful that videos like this are needed to defend our right to prviacy and to not have our PTSD flashbacks reactivated. thanks for explaining about processing and not-memories. that explains things really cleary and helped me.

  • @bobbyblue2413
    @bobbyblue2413 5 років тому +3

    I’m really glad you made this video, it’s important for people to hear.

  • @shamanism295
    @shamanism295 5 років тому +3

    This was a very wise and well said video, thanks Chloe :) You're such a beautiful soul (and set of souls, too). Thanks for always educating the rest of us who don't have first hand experience. Sending you all lots of love

  • @erikagrieb3646
    @erikagrieb3646 4 роки тому +1

    I thought it was normal for people to invade on my past until I went to therapy and tried telling my therapist and broke down and she told me I'm not ready to talk about my story. Now I feel confident enough to tell people I'm not okay with talking about it and I feel so much better

  • @marshall8826
    @marshall8826 4 роки тому +1

    Thank you for this video!
    TRIGGER WARNING!! D*ath
    Once someone asked me what it was like to watch someone die and I felt pressured to explain it to them even though it made me upset. I went home and thought about that day for the rest of the night and it ruined the rest of my day. So please never ask about trauma useless the person says its ok and NEVER make them feel pressured to explain it.

  • @raluca5732
    @raluca5732 5 років тому +3

    i find your videos extremely interesting and educating, every time i watch one of your videos i feel more informed and understand much more than i did in the past about any kind of disorder. thanks so much for helping us all understand and be more aware of effects or processes of any kind of disorder. i love you all and admire you infinitely, have a great day! 💗💗💗

  • @xcxxcccvbnnvjml9314
    @xcxxcccvbnnvjml9314 5 років тому +14

    One of my favourite videos this was so well explained!

  • @Miss_Pariah
    @Miss_Pariah 4 роки тому +1

    My partner has PTSD. I have been with him through nearly seven years of violent flashbacks, self destructive behaviors, and black outs where I spoke with "another him" (dont know if it's an alter or not). I still dont know everything he has been through but that doesn't matter. He isn't here because of his traumas but inspite of them. I always tell him he can tell me when he is ready or not at all, it's okay. I love him.

  • @Futurebound_jpg
    @Futurebound_jpg 4 роки тому +1

    I’m literally obsessed with your channel and everything about u, you’re a beautiful soul bringing positivity this world. I respect and adore u so much, and even then I would never dare asking about your trauma. I don’t even want to know what happened to you because it hurts hearing that someone so strong and beautiful that’s brightened my life has been through things so goddamn terrible.

  • @LarkinKillian
    @LarkinKillian 5 років тому +31

    This is so important
    I had an ex who watched me have a flashback episode, and proceed to tell me "you are faking. This isn't real"

    • @bensayal
      @bensayal 5 років тому +3

      I’m so sorry you had to go through that trauma and then have someone devalue you in that way. Thank you for sharing that experience with us so we can truly understand how horrific PTSD and other types of flashbacks are, and see how unhelpful being doubtful or dubious is.

    • @Adam1984_
      @Adam1984_ 4 роки тому +2

      Having witnessed more than one flashback (my ex, who I'm still friends with, is former military), anyone who can fake a flashback with the level of vividness of the real thing deserves all the acting awards. They may also deserve a kick in the teeth, but that's another issue.

  • @kazenner1990
    @kazenner1990 5 років тому +4

    I love your videos. You give logical explanations as to why one might have certain psychological and mental responses ❤️❤️

  • @blueskies1078
    @blueskies1078 5 років тому

    Thank you so much for sharing Chloe, not enough people understand how important this message is and I truly wish that it reaches everyone who needs to hear it!

  • @undone4199
    @undone4199 5 років тому +1

    Chloe you did such an amazing job in this video (in all videos truly!) I really enjoy the way that you explain things from make up application to how to NOT ask about personal trauma. You are doing such a great job!

  • @JeanetteMoser
    @JeanetteMoser 5 років тому +14

    You explain things so well, and I have learned so much from your videos. Thank you for using your experience to be an advocate for those with DID and similar disorders, and to teach those of us who do not have those disorders how to be friends with and communicate with those who do.

  • @Elmocelmo
    @Elmocelmo 5 років тому +16

    I'm studying to become a therapist, and I just don't understand how people would just randomly ask anyone about their trauma. As a therapist I will have to be able to ask questions like that, and it's honestly so difficult to learn how and when you can appropriately touch on the subject (taking into account that you can't wait too long because you need that information to decide on the therapy)

  • @Ghast101
    @Ghast101 5 років тому +1

    You're such a great speaker. So respectable and articulate. Thank you for making this video, it needed to be said!

  • @misstranslator
    @misstranslator 5 років тому +1

    You are so well spoken, and your explanations are so easy to follow. I'm so glad you started this channel thus allowing us to learn more and behave in a more sensitive way. Thank you!

  • @MadisonHarlow
    @MadisonHarlow 5 років тому +3

    Great video. I have PTSD and some other mental health problems and you make a lot of great points that are very relatable.

  • @ceyes00
    @ceyes00 5 років тому +15

    I don’t even want to know about your trauma. That should be between the person and their therapist who can help them and are professionals in that area

  • @crystadavis6932
    @crystadavis6932 5 років тому

    You give so many people validation for how they feel, especially for those who feel they don’t have a voice. You are amazing and do so much for so many people. A lot of people are grateful for you. I love the DissociaDID system! Thank you for opening my mind and giving me another perspective to those struggling.

  • @noggie7171
    @noggie7171 5 років тому

    I found your channel looking for more info on what one of my best friends is going through. This has helped a lot with setting boundaries and words to avoid in our friendship. I just want to thank you all. You are doing something amazing.

  • @chrisdrummond8893
    @chrisdrummond8893 5 років тому +3

    I Love the music in these videos. I find myself humming it in my head during the day.

  • @tabathawolstencroft2205
    @tabathawolstencroft2205 5 років тому +11

    Love the background!! Love your videos! 😊

  • @ashleyheliker764
    @ashleyheliker764 5 років тому

    You do such a good job with these videos! Helping people to understand, helping people (Im sure) with DID feel not alone, and help us with other issues feel not alone and understood! I love watching you, and everyone in your system! 💞

  • @ella-kb2ld
    @ella-kb2ld 5 років тому

    Thank you for talking so openly about your disorder. I think it is really important to inform people about mental illnesses and I am really happy that you are in a place to do so. I started watching your videos a while ago, but I just couldn't stop. You are all amazing.
    Best wishes from Germany ❤

  • @Kay_Jay_Pea
    @Kay_Jay_Pea 5 років тому +11

    Thank you so so much for this video! It was very validating to hear that others suffer with not remembering their trauma. For me, I know there was trauma but I don’t remember the specifics surrounding it and it’s always made me question wether or not I’m making it up and it is very comforting to know that others go through the same thing ❤️ *your trauma does not define you!!!!*

  • @kavitadeva
    @kavitadeva 5 років тому +10

    Hi. It's always a pleasure to listen to you talk about trauma DID Etc. I find I get so much out of each video and you do such a great job of delivering the information and content. Again thank you for this video.

  • @abbier6174
    @abbier6174 5 років тому +1

    Although I don’t have any of the disorders you mentioned (as far as I am aware 😬), I went through childhood trauma and it definitely affected my life. It affects some of the things I do, and although I know it’s human nature to question why I do some things but it annoys the hell out of me when people think they have the right to ask. Thank you so much for this video Chloe 💕🙂

  • @yourimaginaryfriendC
    @yourimaginaryfriendC 5 років тому

    You are so eloquent in explaining, well done! I just discovered your channel and can't stop watching through. Keep up the good work all of you!

  • @riadterek9384
    @riadterek9384 5 років тому +71

    I really love your channel. You’ve educated me a lot about mental health ❤️❤️. I also have a question: when an alter is born or created do they immediately know what is their purpose or job in the system ? Do they know they are in a DID system ?

    • @kzev3593
      @kzev3593 5 років тому +24

      I'm pretty sure she's answered this before, but no! Not every alter will know they are an alter or know their role! ❤️

    • @kzev3593
      @kzev3593 5 років тому +19

      Roles and jobs can also change with time for an alter!

    • @alexmcintosh388
      @alexmcintosh388 5 років тому +9

      It depends on the alter - some do and some don't; it just depends. And, as previously mentioned, jobs can also change with time

    • @AliceSylph
      @AliceSylph 5 років тому +13

      Hey, I'm still learning about my own alters but, from I can understand, some do and some don't. So my first alter Poppy knew who I was, the people in my life and that she was the start of a system. Other alter Christopher, also knew about the fact he was an alter and knew about the other alters (at least a couple of them) but not much about my life and the people in it. Kitty, however, did not know she was an alter, she has talked about having a brother (the body doesn't have one), and was the host for a few years although she looks very differently to me etc. It really depends, just as I (the host) identify with this body and its lífe, have only begun to have knowledge of the system for a year and I don't have a lot of memories. We're all alters.
      Hope this helps.

    • @georgerobins4110
      @georgerobins4110 5 років тому +4

      It all depends on the system and the alter.

  • @strawberrowo2639
    @strawberrowo2639 5 років тому +9

    As someone with DPDR I have trouble with this. Lots of of my trauma is still an issue and affects my daily life. Thank you for speaking on this topic. I know I have a different dissociative disorder but this channel has helped me in my understanding of DID. Hope you can continue making great content ❤💕

  • @megancholy
    @megancholy 5 років тому

    hi! I just wanted to say that I’ve recently come across your channel and watched all of your videos and it’s been such a pleasure! chloe, I know it must be a lot to film and edit and be in charge of this channel so I hope you, and everyone else are looking after themselves! thank you for being so informative, open, honest and just genuinely lovely people! I’m looking forward to all your future videos and now being apart of this journey 💓

  • @Breadn
    @Breadn 4 роки тому +1

    This is so fascinating. Thank you for sharing this!

  • @ramblerseulogy
    @ramblerseulogy 5 років тому +18

    So amazing! Love you so much! You really shine a positive light on mental illnesses. I personally don't have DID but if I did I would be grateful for this channel. KEEP DOING GREAT!!!! MWA
    :)

    • @ramblerseulogy
      @ramblerseulogy 5 років тому +1

      I am LITERALLY dying, YOU ACTUALLY LIKED MY COMMENT! I'm now wondering which alter it was.....

  • @hidinginthecommentsss
    @hidinginthecommentsss 5 років тому +10

    "You are as wholly yourself as if you had not experienced your trauma" I needed to hear that, thank you

  • @altersaside
    @altersaside 4 роки тому

    Your ability to explain such difficult topics is so inspirational! Thank you for putting in the time to research this and draw from your own experiences to explain why it's an invasive topic of conversation. You are having such a positive impact on mental health and system communities.

  • @kristancarroll1973
    @kristancarroll1973 5 років тому

    Thank you for posting these videos. All of these videos have been incredibly eye opening and informative for me. I had not heard of DID before I found this channel and I am so grateful that I did. I have learned so much from the videos from everyone on this channel. Thanks so much for everything that you all do to keep this channel running ❤

  • @maroletti3401
    @maroletti3401 5 років тому +29

    im sitting here watching your video and at 8:30 my boyfriend starts snapping shouting : thats what im saying giiiirl

  • @LeonBell
    @LeonBell 5 років тому +5

    Only at the beginning of the video, but you've already said something SO important, like please don't ask someone about their trauma❤️
    I love this video so far (but pretty sure I'll love it as a whole as well cuz duhh I always do - you explain it perfectly❤️)

  • @WrittenDisaster
    @WrittenDisaster 5 років тому +1

    Thank you for this video and the work you put into it. It gave me a new perspective on my PTSD, and allowed me to know it isn't my fault that we keep experiencing my trauma. I didn't really realize that someone's body language can also be triggering for us, or why I'm having so many episodes lately (refiling in safety). Thank you so much ❤

  • @ToffeeCrunch
    @ToffeeCrunch 5 років тому

    For the record I think this video is really well put together. It has lots of useful information without seeming condescending. It has mild warnings of asking about trauma without seeming angry, or attacking. You explained everything in detail without involving your/your alter's, traumas. This is really good and I enjoy this type of content. Thank you for the opportunity to listen to your story.

  • @lette999
    @lette999 5 років тому +6

    Your alters are angels ♥️

  • @raquelsimmiss6111
    @raquelsimmiss6111 5 років тому +4

    Chloe and the dissociDID system, I don’t have DID but I’m a wife of someone who has possibly had the condition and you all have helped me deal”?” With the new situation I’m experiencing with my wife. Hope all is well and I hope that you’re safe

  • @embercoetzee5171
    @embercoetzee5171 5 років тому

    I'm loving the berry hair and your pointers. I struggle with people asking me about my trauma and your video has helped me alot, that i dont need to tell them in order to make my disorder valid. 💕

  • @oshwosh24
    @oshwosh24 5 років тому

    Chloe, soo good to have you continue to shed light on sensitive issues. I am so glad you created this channel. 💕

  • @wonderlaund
    @wonderlaund 5 років тому +21

    I hope everyone is well! I have been wanting to ask this tho... how is Omega? I like her and felt so bad about the first time we got to meet her in such circumstances. Hope she feels okay.

  • @Emma-kq9ud
    @Emma-kq9ud 5 років тому +6

    I didn't know what DID was until i came across your video 2 days ago. I've now watched a lot of your videos and learned a lot.
    Also (like most people)i now have a crush on Kyle lol. God bless ya!

  • @Grace.allovertheplace
    @Grace.allovertheplace 4 роки тому

    Hi Nin and everyone in the system ❤️
    I’ve been binge watching so many of your videos and it’s helping me with so much.
    There’s so much I “feel” from my childhood (and other parts of my life) I’ve never been able to explain and I still haven’t “access” to it. But watching your videos is very helpful. So thank you all so much for your help and effort and especially the kindness you’re showing and sharing is beautiful. Thank you thank you thank you 🙏❤️❤️❤️
    Love
    / Grace 💜❤️

  • @curlypinkfangirl392
    @curlypinkfangirl392 4 роки тому

    when you said being asked to explain trauma and feeling invalid because you cant exactly remember/explain it correctly hit so close to home.

  • @teaNtoxin
    @teaNtoxin 5 років тому +11

    Go off Queen(s) and Kings (can't forget the boys) I'm so proud that you didn't hold back! Mental illness is not there to entertain others. Love you guys ❤

  • @alivea777
    @alivea777 5 років тому +28

    Finally someone said it ❤
    I'm glad she is going to explain this! Question: Do any of these go away?

    • @raine2353
      @raine2353 5 років тому +4

      Omg I love you profile pic. Billie is QUEEN 😍👸👑👑👑

    • @alivea777
      @alivea777 5 років тому +2

      @@raine2353 correct

    • @GeeaRCee
      @GeeaRCee 5 років тому +5

      I don't think effects and results of trauma goes away. Management of it is the best way to deal with this.

    • @alivea777
      @alivea777 5 років тому

      @@alexcole4970 ohhh okay it depends on the persons mind

    • @alivea777
      @alivea777 5 років тому

      @@GeeaRCee ohhh okay yah that makes sense

  • @annandadesilva6983
    @annandadesilva6983 5 років тому

    Thank you so much for this video, Chloe. When I try to explain these things to folks who ask about my trauma, often my words get tangled up and I freeze. I am trying to absorb the eloquent ways you've explained so that I can either use some of your points next time or just send people the link to watch you explain! It almost always feels like the purpose of these kinds of questions are trying to see if I'm faking or if it was "really that bad", and that starts a scary spiral for me. Thank you thank you thank you again. You are brilliant 💙

  • @SuzyQT
    @SuzyQT 5 років тому +1

    I would sign the petition and this would wonderful if you all did this. You've helped me so much and have helped my husband understand my condition in a way I cannot explain it. So they you so very much. I actually watched this video with him this evening. He triggered a flashback by not respecting my healthy boundaries in regards to my past trauma. Which I've tried to explain to him over & over. But him seeing this helped so so much!
    You are all so well-spoken and knowledgeable. You have taught me so much as well and each one of you are so very special and I thank each on of you for helping us all👏🏼☺️💗
    Thank you from the bottom of my heart as I am forever grateful for you all!😊💕
    Hugs from Texas, USA 🇺🇸