The narcissist and SEX

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  • Опубліковано 6 лис 2024

КОМЕНТАРІ • 2,8 тис.

  • @niksmith1039
    @niksmith1039 4 роки тому +659

    Wow!!! “Sex isn’t good with people who don’t treat you right!!!” Fire 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

    • @georgejgilles.3999
      @georgejgilles.3999 4 роки тому +14

      Yes they are extremely abusive.

    • @Real2k25
      @Real2k25 4 роки тому +3

      Right

    • @patriciawhite9509
      @patriciawhite9509 4 роки тому +8

      you are so right. I wish some of these women would see the light.

    • @georgejgilles.3999
      @georgejgilles.3999 4 роки тому +4

      True indeed

    • @Real2k25
      @Real2k25 4 роки тому +15

      At all sex with my narc was boring and jus u could tell was like meaningless

  • @shekelialockett6118
    @shekelialockett6118 4 роки тому +687

    I think sex with a narcissist is terrible. They are mean and lack the ability to give you true intimacy.

    • @sherlasam409
      @sherlasam409 4 роки тому +55

      Its slam bam thank you ma'am

    • @joannaboykins7108
      @joannaboykins7108 4 роки тому +34

      I agree with you wholeheartedly because they can't be intimate with you because they're in it just for themselves what they can get out of it not even for their partner they know nothing about that

    • @katherineroberts5698
      @katherineroberts5698 4 роки тому +12

      Speak on it Chica.

    • @kenediii_ryan
      @kenediii_ryan 4 роки тому +57

      They tend to be really shit in bed. I had to beg my ex narc NOT to go down on me (sorry tmi!), it was like being in a car wash smh

    • @rosettemarshall3024
      @rosettemarshall3024 4 роки тому +52

      They cannot make love because they do not have a connection so all they can do is have sex which is the equivalent of masterbation for them. It is just a release to them...

  • @charchar7897
    @charchar7897 4 роки тому +959

    Been celibate since my narc breakup 3 years ago, and it's one of the best things I've ever done. Sex is spiritual and if you dont have control over who you exchange that energy with, you'll never heal. Celibacy heightens your spiritual awareness.

    • @josephosas5482
      @josephosas5482 4 роки тому +50

      So true.. Celibacy heighten your Spiritual awareness..
      Thanks..

    • @belindaoleary4000
      @belindaoleary4000 4 роки тому +61

      I totally agree..no sex 7 years and don't miss it ..self love feels so much better

    • @charchar7897
      @charchar7897 4 роки тому +42

      @@belindaoleary4000 That's awesome! People have no idea the spiritual awareness celibacy brings.

    • @terrilee734
      @terrilee734 4 роки тому +17

      Yep

    • @webuysellhousesaptscashoff9453
      @webuysellhousesaptscashoff9453 4 роки тому +14

      Very true

  • @Ms_Sarcasm
    @Ms_Sarcasm 4 роки тому +410

    Being with a narc feels like being with an empty soul. No connection.

    • @jacqueenisrael6901
      @jacqueenisrael6901 3 роки тому +16

      You are so true. It becomes scary😬

    • @mariongore728
      @mariongore728 3 роки тому +4

      Very good. Good job

    • @liz090833
      @liz090833 3 роки тому +13

      @@jacqueenisrael6901 you ever look in the person's eyes when they're hurting you? They like it.

    • @yvonnehill4854
      @yvonnehill4854 3 роки тому +1

      So true

    • @marionwilliams910
      @marionwilliams910 3 роки тому +2

      @@liz090833 because misery loves company.

  • @brittanyashtin
    @brittanyashtin 3 роки тому +166

    To be honest, sex with a narc was never really all that great to me. The energy always felt off. For some reason I could never connect with him on that intimacy level. And as time went on and as the abuse would happen more often, I really became turned off by the sex and he knew that. It made him mad because he would always say “you the only one who never liked my sex.” And that’s because his energy always felt evil and my body never connected to the bad vibe and now that I’m completely out the situation, I see all along why.

    • @betsyrivera7981
      @betsyrivera7981 2 роки тому +6

      To be honest my ex narcissist was not really all that good I was the one that was satisfy him he got to obsessed to kill me I discard him first I was his main supply he was stalking me and pimping me I'm glad his in jail

    • @nataliepdavis7848
      @nataliepdavis7848 2 роки тому +4

      Omg I can relate

    • @brittanyashtin
      @brittanyashtin 2 роки тому +1

      @@nataliepdavis7848 super big on energy

    • @brittanyashtin
      @brittanyashtin 2 роки тому +5

      @@betsyrivera7981 same it was always about satisfying him and his needs. Never about me. I'm glad he's away to give you time to focus on your healing.

    • @MaryLouise
      @MaryLouise 2 роки тому +3

      Brittany Ashton - Babe that sounds like a BOOK to set many of people FREE!

  • @LoveLife-ou5xh
    @LoveLife-ou5xh 4 роки тому +474

    Amen to that sex is not good when you're not getting treated well👍

    • @sabrinaalston1243
      @sabrinaalston1243 4 роки тому +2

      Joe hope that AMEN is for a Marriage relationship you are talking about just sharing

    • @georgejgilles.3999
      @georgejgilles.3999 4 роки тому +8

      Talk about constant abuse. They will even abuse their own children.

    • @mememarcia329
      @mememarcia329 4 роки тому

      🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼

    • @joellenwalker9830
      @joellenwalker9830 4 роки тому +6

      Joe Campbell I can’t understand why anyone would want to have sex with a narc who is constantly causing chaos in your life. My ex wanted sex regularly but it was only for his own pleasure and nothing to do with mine. He was a wham bam roll over and fall asleep partner. I had never felt so lonely in all my life! It makes me cringe thinking of how horrible it got.

    • @wandahwhetstone5720
      @wandahwhetstone5720 3 роки тому

      Ouchhhhhhh

  • @SweetHuneyDipz
    @SweetHuneyDipz 4 роки тому +755

    It’s crazy how we were being groomed from the very beginning. It’s so sick and twisted and It’s all a game to them.

    • @charchar7897
      @charchar7897 4 роки тому +75

      Actually, you're groomed for your childhood caretakers. The narcissist can only infiltrate those wounds that havent not been healed. I haven't seen the ex narc in over 3 years, but I took that time to do my inner work, which means I spent a lot of alone time and gave dating up. Most people dont wanna do their work, so they continue attracting narcs. He's recently been reaching out to me saying the stuff he thinks I wanna hear. I'm totally not interested tho, I love my peace and dont wanna date anybody.

    • @anikaallen3741
      @anikaallen3741 4 роки тому +17

      Feels like a chore I hate like mopping 🙄

    • @marcsmith5017
      @marcsmith5017 4 роки тому +10

      Ur so right Char Char

    • @charchar7897
      @charchar7897 4 роки тому +67

      @@marcsmith5017 This entire experience is beautiful on the other side, if people can look at the bigger picture. The narc is there to teach you a lesson about yourself, about setting boundaries, and about healing childhood wounds. They're not there for Happily Ever After. Learn the lesson, and become a more beautiful you.

    • @marcsmith5017
      @marcsmith5017 4 роки тому +7

      Thank you Char Char

  • @rosettemarshall3024
    @rosettemarshall3024 4 роки тому +706

    So true! Sex is not good if you are being treated like crap. I shut down during sex due to the emotional abuse...

    • @harioovadtop2827
      @harioovadtop2827  4 роки тому +22

      Rosette Marshall smart move, thanks for your support

    • @marlinnazarian880
      @marlinnazarian880 4 роки тому +9

      Yuuuuuuup

    • @keplermission4947
      @keplermission4947 4 роки тому +7

      Too much humming and hawing. Just get the message across. So many African Americans have this style, it's a waste of precious time.

    • @juliascott1618
      @juliascott1618 4 роки тому +2

      Absolutely

    • @louiseconroy9140
      @louiseconroy9140 4 роки тому +18

      Get away...stay away...you will find out they are deviant...

  • @robinstephens9085
    @robinstephens9085 4 роки тому +109

    And when they can't control at all anymore they disappear.

    • @paulwisdom1090
      @paulwisdom1090 7 місяців тому

      Yes that's exactly what happened to me!!!! I stopped giving her attention and started going silent and distancing myself and she then would be away for days and no communication so i know what that is about!!

  • @stevointhelou7798
    @stevointhelou7798 4 роки тому +37

    The day of your discard God came in for the save ! Be happy friends !

  • @louiseskitmore1270
    @louiseskitmore1270 4 роки тому +153

    When you realise it was all fake it’s heartbreaking. I found love songs didn’t mean anything anymore because I realised it was never love . The sex was technically rape because he was out to destroy me . That was his only goal. It should be a crime. Emotional abuse is soul destroying and very cruel

    • @ms.cruzcruz2298
      @ms.cruzcruz2298 Рік тому +2

      I spent everything I had trying to make a future and this is everything that happen to me

  • @lorihykaway2126
    @lorihykaway2126 4 роки тому +226

    Add a severe porn addiction! I'm not sure which came first, the narcissism or the addiction. Disturbing and confusing. No boundaries.

    • @ayannagooden2957
      @ayannagooden2957 4 роки тому +18

      Wow . I would catch my ex watching porn and got it on video he looked so guilty when I showed him also I woke up at 3.a.m in the morning to him masturbating next to me into the bed

    • @wookieelee38
      @wookieelee38 4 роки тому +4

      Really really true

    • @susiep1484
      @susiep1484 3 роки тому +8

      They prefer masterbating watching porn to having sex with real humans. Narcissists get bored easily, so they keep on searching for more excitement with new porn images, thus lose interest in having sex with their partners.

    • @Langolin1998
      @Langolin1998 3 роки тому +12

      Ditto. Mine had a huge porn addiction. Porn, alcohol, women, sex. It was the most disgusting, crazy relation”shit” I’ve ever been unfortunate enough, to be a part of. They leave you hanging out to dry after they’ve used and abused you. I hope every single one gets their payback somehow.

    • @indiahindiah7295
      @indiahindiah7295 3 роки тому +1

      @@ayannagooden2957 you too 🤦 lol I didn't understand it I was horny as hell too🤭

  • @arisa373
    @arisa373 4 роки тому +221

    Narcissist need to stay with other Narcs and leave us empaths alone. Very soon I see this happening because so many empaths waking up. These vultures will soon have no other option but to be stuck with each other.

    • @MZPOETSKYLOVEBLACK
      @MZPOETSKYLOVEBLACK 3 роки тому +16

      That’s how I feel they want our light so much but don’t want to do the spiritual work to Develop their own

    • @Escobaz96
      @Escobaz96 3 роки тому +9

      It's happening, Narc abuse is quickly going mainstream

    • @Terraification
      @Terraification 3 роки тому +2

      Good!!

    • @diamond13130
      @diamond13130 3 роки тому +6

      Matches made in hell! The best karma. That’s where my narc is now.

    • @selmareyna2467
      @selmareyna2467 3 роки тому +9

      They will have to destroy each other, their hell is coming 😁👍🤗

  • @JaceingtonSteele
    @JaceingtonSteele 4 роки тому +336

    Whoever puts a thumbs down on these videos are narcissists who are big mad that they are being exposed 😂😂😂😂😂😂.
    We see y'all....LMAO

  • @nancyalexis3638
    @nancyalexis3638 2 роки тому +50

    I feel so violated. When I look back at my relationship with my ex NC I often ask myself, why did I end up falling in love, become so obsessed and adore such an evil person? The most devastating part was he felt absolutely nothing for me. That made me feel so empty, hollow inside.

    • @qb9359
      @qb9359 2 роки тому +3

      Me too… it’s devastating. 🥺😢

    • @nazleyvanblerk1703
      @nazleyvanblerk1703 Рік тому +3

      Been through that feelings. Its a bitter pill to swallow

    • @Judah2019
      @Judah2019 Рік тому

      I’m sorry and I know the feeling hope your doing a lot better ❤

    • @juanadrianrobaina5763
      @juanadrianrobaina5763 8 місяців тому +1

      Same happened to me,I feel you,it is devastating when you really love someone and they never did 😮but they pretended they did

  • @manifestationofgod1379
    @manifestationofgod1379 4 роки тому +231

    I was so empty with the narc. My body hardly reacted to it... Five years of whack intimacy....

    • @monilisasmilehowell9517
      @monilisasmilehowell9517 4 роки тому +4

      Totally 💯

    • @kara_tee
      @kara_tee 4 роки тому +5

      Ugh...same

    • @hectorcastro9768
      @hectorcastro9768 4 роки тому +2

      They are empty because they are f everyone and you can not make it good for them because they are so big

    • @cgreen777
      @cgreen777 4 роки тому +2

      He was just acting withe you... Totally mechanicall.
      What he was really into you cant go there.

    • @nyccidarlin3655
      @nyccidarlin3655 3 роки тому +1

      Five 🤦🏾‍♀️ try 18 years 🥴😒

  • @marygrace5496
    @marygrace5496 4 роки тому +502

    Lol yes, some women CAN go years without sex. It's true.

  • @robynwatkins4190
    @robynwatkins4190 4 роки тому +193

    They choose vulnerable people and set you up!

    • @MZPOETSKYLOVEBLACK
      @MZPOETSKYLOVEBLACK 4 роки тому +6

      😫💔🤧

    • @userofyoutuve
      @userofyoutuve 4 роки тому +4

      Mines just tried the new mistress on me I went no contact with both those demons they both stalk me together really sad individuals, I knew something was wrong when the side chick checks for the wife she knows about, dont feed there drama nor there ego nor the other person because it want be long until they start feeling it too there in the love bomb stage and cant see how they look...who is going to follow her new love of her life around looking at his wife and children go about there day ....weird right

    • @shirleyguinyard8183
      @shirleyguinyard8183 3 роки тому +1

      My Narcissist husband chose me because he thinks I'm stupid nieve and gullible and believe what ever he tells me but I'm not and I don't.

  • @cherylscott6872
    @cherylscott6872 2 роки тому +6

    Exactly like what is said about smoking crack! Chasing that first crack high, but it will never happen again. Evil and a waste of time!

  • @butterfly2light849
    @butterfly2light849 4 роки тому +63

    Yep! The devaluing stage is where they become emotionally abusive. I would like to hear what the devaluing stage is like for the women who are with narc's. I know they will make you feel worthless, and like they are interested in others. They want to keep making you feel that you are not good enough, alllll the while stealing and needing your energy. If people ignored them, they would have no power. Many would probably commit suicide or end up losing it.

  • @rodentcafeteria
    @rodentcafeteria 4 роки тому +337

    Narcissists not only have no boundaries regarding your friends and family when it comes to sex, but gender isn't a big issue for them, either.

    • @redpilled5830
      @redpilled5830 4 роки тому +42

      yep all supply

    • @kingdomtingz3874
      @kingdomtingz3874 4 роки тому +27

      Wow 👀👀

    • @ladennayoung2939
      @ladennayoung2939 4 роки тому +49

      Yes they will take supply for anyone. I have heard that before.

    • @ladennayoung2939
      @ladennayoung2939 4 роки тому +72

      @@kingdomtingz3874 Yes. There are videos that speak about that. Plus God will reveal things to you. You have to pay attention to everything. It is really scary to be with these people in more ways then one.

    • @rodentcafeteria
      @rodentcafeteria 4 роки тому +51

      @@ladennayoung2939 And it's very true. Even if they present themselves to be totally straight or even if they're married. It's all about getting supply.

  • @taddamikabond4038
    @taddamikabond4038 4 роки тому +183

    Just divorced from a narcissist, every single thing you are saying is so right
    Yes Yes Yes I’m moving on in a positive light now. Lesson learned.

    • @tracysmallsyummieeats5374
      @tracysmallsyummieeats5374 4 роки тому +18

      I just got a divorce from one and I wrote a book about it

    • @slynn31674
      @slynn31674 4 роки тому +6

      I’m going to read the book Tracy Smalls

    • @mrbaldwin8658
      @mrbaldwin8658 4 роки тому +3

      Me too... Have the ticket stubs and souvenirs to prove it... LoL... We have children together but thank God they're almost grown and I don't deal with their mother at all. No contact going on three years... The shenanigans won't stop but they don't trigger emotions like before. Here's to your healing and moving on to your best life!!!!🍻🥂🍻

    • @jeaninewhitner9658
      @jeaninewhitner9658 4 роки тому +3

      I can’t wait for my divorce to be finalized. Your bless to be done and over with your Naraccisist ex husband. Wish I was in your shoes

    • @tiafaith1750
      @tiafaith1750 4 роки тому +2

      How did you get out of the relationship?

  • @naturopath100
    @naturopath100 4 роки тому +263

    After the love bombing, he never seemed present in lovemaking. Robot in a meat suit.

  • @tru_kru_bahbee24
    @tru_kru_bahbee24 4 роки тому +59

    Never experienced anything like that.. felt like I was with a robot..it always felt off.. like something was missing. Now I know it was because I could not feel any genuinely loving energy from him.. although he was going through the motions, didn't matter. He was still an empty shell with nothing to give

    • @jeanette-and-ernie-atthe-a3271
      @jeanette-and-ernie-atthe-a3271 3 роки тому +5

      Amen!

    • @MaryLouise
      @MaryLouise 3 роки тому +5

      I can relate to your comment as I think back I realized it was very much mechanically in a way of being robotic. Nothing engaging at all!

    • @Loulala777
      @Loulala777 2 роки тому +2

      Absolutely so mechanical

    • @jafhio2284
      @jafhio2284 Рік тому +1

      Yea...
      I felt no connection in sex....i felt im a machine

  • @Sabrina-7728
    @Sabrina-7728 4 роки тому +139

    Omg I was 20 he was 40..
    He was so charming and so loving and caring that I as a young girl fell head over heels in love with him..
    The sex was great, the kisses the attention, everything was so perfect, until I moved in after a year of dating...
    Less sex, less attention... It was like I didn't matter..more to him.
    Mind you he used to call me my goddess, now 20 years later I am every bad word you can name a woman.
    I just want to leave... But I feel trapped due to my finances.. He took everything even my money.. He has all the control..!
    But since today, I decided that I no longer will be treated like dirt,.. Gonna save money up and walk away with the last bit of strength I have..
    Thank you for these videos they really do help.

    • @bachopinbee5991
      @bachopinbee5991 4 роки тому +14

      I love that decision. Please get the hell out ASAP and break absolute contact with him and your common friends. All the good luck in the world.

    • @chosenchosen2258
      @chosenchosen2258 4 роки тому +15

      Get out and cut all ties, trust and believe, cut ALL ties

    • @patriciawhite9509
      @patriciawhite9509 4 роки тому +15

      Your best years are ahead of you. That evil bastard. Nasty lowlife creature. They are mentally ill. Run!!

    • @SusieN2011
      @SusieN2011 3 роки тому +13

      Forty is still young, and probably the best year to start a new life. As a forty year old, you are more wise and confident..don't take his criticisms personally, it's about him not you. Get out asap..do what you can to remove yourself from him. Good luck.

    • @StephanieMichelle30
      @StephanieMichelle30 3 роки тому +10

      I am already gone mentally soon as I can raise enough money I will be physically

  • @willowclay3137
    @willowclay3137 4 роки тому +169

    Then the devalue comes because they have cheated on you already with a fresh supply!

    • @theresabowman1155
      @theresabowman1155 4 роки тому +18

      Exactly! I knew when he cheated or was going to attempt to cheat. His behavior was the same and his routine never changed. I would say your up to your old tricks again he would tell me your stuck in the past 😏 you need to move on and get out of your feelings

    • @Noname-oo9gn
      @Noname-oo9gn 4 роки тому

      Theresa Bowman oh yeah crazy making.

    • @bachopinbee5991
      @bachopinbee5991 4 роки тому +1

      Well put

    • @missindie4199
      @missindie4199 3 роки тому

      Really?

    • @indiahindiah7295
      @indiahindiah7295 3 роки тому

      @@theresabowman1155 lol 👍🤷

  • @annettacomello6856
    @annettacomello6856 4 роки тому +88

    Sex was never good,he talked a great game.He hated caresses.

    • @jamilabell6502
      @jamilabell6502 4 роки тому +10

      Same here. Sex was never good, but he thought so.

    • @karenfridie689
      @karenfridie689 3 роки тому

      @@jamilabell6502 Mine was like a robot. He got it up before he came over to my place next door, dropped his pants and jumped on. No intimacy, and of all sins, MASTURBATED! YUK YUK YUK. After the 3rd time, he was out in the depths of hell...and still there after cpl years. I'm out of the country since Jan '21. Blocked him, but clled a year later. O boy, he searched for me on FB, which I'm never there. Poor guy, I shoved him back in hell with his daddy. I thoroughly enjoyed it🤣

  • @mardisandrews4061
    @mardisandrews4061 4 роки тому +80

    I never got pleasure from my ex. It was about him getting off

  • @IAmTheBrandiRay
    @IAmTheBrandiRay 2 роки тому +12

    I almost fell out of my skin listening to this vid. It's insane how all of this matches, once you're out of it. Man oh man. Jesus Christ.

  • @irisrivera6876
    @irisrivera6876 4 роки тому +43

    My ex never believed that I didn't cheat on him even when he cheated on me. He almost destroyed me.

    • @cgreen777
      @cgreen777 4 роки тому +3

      He knew you wasn't cheating. Accusing you was his way of torturing you..inflicting guilt and pain. As he when on about his cheating way. Beating you down in every way.

    • @brittanyb5942
      @brittanyb5942 3 роки тому +6

      I always got accused of cheating but never did. He was the one who doing the cheating!

    • @user-pi5xo4og9d
      @user-pi5xo4og9d 3 роки тому +1

      Me too. Not even once.

    • @SharlenesJourney
      @SharlenesJourney 2 роки тому +1

      Me too always being accused of cheating never cheated but yet this has ruined me

  • @katrinatolbert2904
    @katrinatolbert2904 4 роки тому +322

    So basically these people are the devil?

  • @sandrarthornton
    @sandrarthornton 4 роки тому +182

    Great presentation! And true story! I just left a narcissist who treated me bad and the good sex was not worth it. And yes he got inside my head and leaving was hard but I made it to the other side. Thank God I am moving on. 💪🏼💪🏼💯💯

    • @krobinson675
      @krobinson675 4 роки тому +7

      Keep going YaYa!! I’m working on my move away from this narc! It’s soooooo hard! But GOD has provided plenty waiting on you!!

    • @sandrarthornton
      @sandrarthornton 4 роки тому +2

      K Robinson thank you. You got this! 💪🏼

    • @esterholt1070
      @esterholt1070 4 роки тому

      Amen💅🍷MY PRESENCE MOOD....🥂WE CAN DO THIS....🦾KEEP GOING🍷🥰DONT LOOK BACK🥂🦾

    • @susiep1484
      @susiep1484 3 роки тому +1

      Congrats!

    • @carlamcmillon8175
      @carlamcmillon8175 2 роки тому +1

      Good for you💪🏾💪🏾😘, I was in the same situation, Thank GOD I got FREE 🏃🏾‍♀️🏃🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️🤸🏾‍♀️😀✌🏾

  • @PrettyPoshLife
    @PrettyPoshLife 4 роки тому +23

    In my case the sex was horrible. There was no foreplay, no kissing, rubbing, nothing. He just wanted to get straight to it and I wasn't turned on at all. I actually had to ask him to incorporate foreplay....he didn't care about what made me feel good, he only cared about getting his and nothing more. Zero intimacy. Ugh I should have ran at that point 😒

  • @MoeSoNatural
    @MoeSoNatural 2 роки тому +10

    I stopped sleeping with my (now) ex narc a couple months before I left but prior to that, for months, I minimized sexual contact with him bcuz my spirit told me that I was staying intertwined with him so deeply due to sexual intimacy. I will always say that eliminating sex with him PLUS doing the work on myself - strengthened me to leave.

  • @ryan2clw
    @ryan2clw 2 місяці тому +2

    💯💯💯. The older you get, the less the 5 minutes every 3 days matters.

  • @sarahjohnson8514
    @sarahjohnson8514 4 роки тому +98

    I swear, they swing both ways.

  • @beedabee1221
    @beedabee1221 4 роки тому +199

    My entire marriage was bad sex. I’d ask for us to try new things but he didn’t. He’d look at me and when I was expressing myself I thought he was listening but he was enjoying the torture. I can’t believe how similar they all are. It really is a disorder.

    • @ngibbs882
      @ngibbs882 4 роки тому +7

      You can profile them

    • @normadeluna3349
      @normadeluna3349 4 роки тому +14

      I have to beg for affection attention and hugs kisses and sex

    • @elisaplugaru850
      @elisaplugaru850 4 роки тому +2

      True,very similar...

    • @VLP_123
      @VLP_123 4 роки тому +9

      Same. I suffered through a sexless marriage with my ex-husband. It was awful.

    • @livinglifetothefullest4386
      @livinglifetothefullest4386 4 роки тому +5

      Your absolutely right. One morning after having sex with my ex Narc, he scolded me as if I was a child and told me that he f#$ks me how he wants too not how I want him too. I wanted to try a different position and I guess that pissed him off.

  • @seankalleyart2065
    @seankalleyart2065 4 роки тому +144

    You’re exactly right with the intimacy. As you get older or waking up that requires going inward and being vulnerable. That’s intimate in itself. A Narcissist can’t go within.

    • @aswann2264
      @aswann2264 2 роки тому +2

      They pretend to-if it helps them they will pretend to be very much going within-

  • @michellejohnson1980
    @michellejohnson1980 2 роки тому +8

    It’s crazy that you said it. The intimate and soft kisses were stopped, and the blaming has started. Everything was my fault.

  • @vt-yp7yq
    @vt-yp7yq 3 роки тому +16

    When I met him and after about five months, we were having a difference of opinion, a slight basic argument, he said to me: "This is what we do, we break up, get back together", as he is rolling his hands over one another. Like the referee sign in basketball for traveling. After another couple of months of him, I ended it. He always thought we would get back together, no we didn't. I started really analyzing what I was going through with him. It's been over two years and he has tried to come back twice. I don't wish this madness on anyone. I was so distraught, I never told my family about any of it. I'm terrified to get involved with anyone at this point, and I find other interest to take my mind off of sex. And yes as a woman celibacy is no big deal, but I am getting weak because I have healed, but I'm afraid of running into another narc. Great video.

  • @alainac.8183
    @alainac.8183 4 роки тому +72

    After my relationship with my ex i found sex to be tramatic. I felt used for their pleasure and now i have no interest in sex, i don't want to be touched. Has anyone else experienced this after your relationship with your narcissistic partner?

    • @valerieblazer56
      @valerieblazer56 4 роки тому +2

      I have, I was married #2 my first husband was my everything he passed, I met this guy he was interesting, I was celibate for 13 yrs from my first husband, now I didn't read up on narcissist until he said I was cheating on him with these bums, who always say good morning, they knew us, my moral was so low, call me a how,bitch and always cursing, I wasn't sign up for this he's mother is narcissist also, I'm 69 met and married him at 62, now I'm tired of the abused and getting ready to go. Haven't had sex with him over2yrs, I know he slinging his ding-a-ling out there and have the nerve to introduce the women in my face and said she's his friend girlfriend, I said let's invite them over for dinner, he said no because of coronavirus, but you stick your head in her car to say something. I'm done.

    • @kelseyknock2356
      @kelseyknock2356 4 роки тому +8

      Wow wow wow!!!
      Yes Alaina, I relate to this so much.. my ex narc took my virginity so I really didn’t have anything else to compare the sex to..
      He was a straight sadist after the love bombing phase.. started of very intense and amazing.. then became very brutal.. ugh I cringe thinking back to what he had me doing.. and the way he praised and devalued me.. I was like a puppet. Never said no. I felt like I had no right to.
      Amazing how much control he had over me. And I was sick.. literally sick after he 'fell out of love with me' after 3 yrs
      I lost almost 45 pounds in a month and a half from the stress and he came crawling back. It was like he got off on how sick and emaciated I became. Love bombed the hell out of me and we were right back into the thick of it. Regained the weight and he went back to struggling to get it up at 23yrs of age. I felt like garbage. Yet my mind was so messed up he was like a drug I needed to please to get my fix.
      I wound up ending it a year later because his best friend witnessed him trying to make out with a high school grad at an after party.
      If it wasn’t for his friend I never would have known. He lied straight to my face about that night.
      When I told him Steve told me what happened he came undone crying then raging.. then nothing. For years. And then he sensed me moving on. Literally drive 8hrs to my new city to have sex with me like he used to. It was 3 days of sex and nothing more.
      He’s a vampire with mind control stemming from is phallus
      Looking back it’s all so crazy 😳
      Fast forward to now and I have an amazingly loving tender boyfriend who has never even considered some of the fucked uo things were doing and I almost feel ashamed for what I let my ex do to my body.
      It’s made me feel violated and it manifests in ways my boyfriend doesn’t deserve. The most messed up part is sometimes I crave that level of devalue still.. like some of the sticky evil is still there.
      It’s been almost 6 years with my boyfriend and it’s getting better all the time. But wow does it ever take time to heal from that type of abuse
      It’s a cancer that needs to be removed.
      You have to learn to love yourself so much that you can never afford to give yourself to a demon like that.
      I pray those who have been damaged by narcissism experience what true love feels like.
      The two aren’t even on the same spectrum

    • @danifaith6379
      @danifaith6379 4 роки тому +1

      Yes..I was treated horrible during and after.

    • @alainac.8183
      @alainac.8183 4 роки тому +3

      @@kelseyknock2356 this is exactly what it feels like. They dont want u, but they want no one else to have you. I always felt my narc ex loved seeing me suffer. The mind games were endless. Its been some months now and i feel a sense of relief. But i still feel low self esteem and im afraid to pursue a relationship with anyone. Im glad you moved on and you found someone who treats you well.

    • @elsitabebe
      @elsitabebe 4 роки тому +2

      I understand your feelings. I was with the narc for 10 years doing the back and forth. I didn't know about Narcissists and thought his issues were mainly from his alcoholism and bad company. He dabbled a lot in drugs until I puy foot down, there was also physical violence in our relationship. In the beginning I was getting out of a divorce which blind sighted me and I was very broken and didn't care about anything. In the beginning we had a lot of sex, it always felt so selfishness and I would always tell him so that he needed to pick up a book on women's anatomy. As the years and the Trauma went on I didn't desire him at all for all lying and shady stuff he was doing,I had no respect for him but I didn't know how to leave although I was DONE emotionally. I knew he was up to no good when sex completely stopped and when he would deny my advances especially during my fertile week which made me want sex. We didn't kiss anymore I couldn't bring myself to do that it was too intimate to me. I just saw him as a "fuck" to get mines. Many times he'd leave me hanging after he'd climax which made me not want him further. Whenever we had sex outside my fertile week it was very painful and it enjoyable. There was no foreplay, I wouldn't be lubricated or open for that matter and it literally felt like rape to me but it had been so long since I had sex that I would try to get in the mood but my body wouldn't respond and he didn't care. He tried to flip it and say that it made him feel "so bad" that he couldn't have sex with me because it would hurt and then say that he was sorry that he was "so big". No! I wasn't turned on and in the mood because you don't bother to do it! He is 10 years younger than me so I KNEW he was up to no good when he stopped having sex with me and even had the NERVE to tell me, " all you ever think about is se" which is a lie because I always felt guilty for having sex outside of marriage and we were going to church regularly and getting"right with God" we even came into an agreement that we'd stay celibate until we got married in a few months. He agreed because the entire time he was involved in another relationship. I crave true intimacy with someone however, with kissing and touching. The narc never wanted to cuddle neither. He would get mad because I wanted to nap afterwards on the times that I brought myself to orgasm and he'd be ready to go somewhere. For them it's NOTHING about connection or intimacy only about a release of endorphins. Similar to them taking a nice poop. Sad.

  • @ninahund5773
    @ninahund5773 4 роки тому +119

    Sadistic ... Not good at all!!!
    Felt like evilness surrounded me with his presence. I cringe at all his sexual kinks. Just disgusting!!!
    Total control freaks. Pain satisfies them tremendously. Many narcs need Viagra. And as they age, they get worse!!

    • @shaunbabineaux
      @shaunbabineaux 4 роки тому +8

      Very true. My ex was so sick. He asked me to do strange things to him like pee on him. He was trying to drink me. He also take the condom off without me knowing. Smh

    • @shaunbabineaux
      @shaunbabineaux 4 роки тому +15

      Nina Hund also he use to threaten to kill me during sex. One time told me he would cut me up in small pieces and wipe down the room and no one would know I was there. He was so sick and evil. I praise Yahweh for deliverance!

    • @ninahund5773
      @ninahund5773 4 роки тому +6

      I'm sorry... My ex is a sick individual also so I completely understand you. They say they'll get their karma but at the same time I'm thinking to myself,
      " they don't care anyway "
      Namaste to you Shaun!!!

    • @jmaaklekh4671
      @jmaaklekh4671 4 роки тому +15

      Shaun Babineaux reading your comment brought back a disturbing memory of what my ex narc said to me one night. I asked him what was one of his fantasies. He said pushing me down the stairs and then having sex w my dead body. I remember a heavy sadness come over me. I wasn’t prepared for that at all. I almost broke into tears. He the. Laughed and said he was just kidding but the awfulness I felt lingered. So bizarre. Yes they are sick. I see a pattern in these comments and know these ppl are disordered in the same way.

  • @narcissism-diaryofasurvivor1
    @narcissism-diaryofasurvivor1 4 роки тому +199

    Intimate kissing??? That ended about a few months into our relationship. We kissed, but it was just old married couple kiss, quick peck as we both went off to work or whatever. No deep passionate kissing like we had in the beginning. and the same with sex.

    • @tiawhitmore1533
      @tiawhitmore1533 4 роки тому +7

      It's amazing how they have a set MO. No variation whatsoever.

    • @christinam81
      @christinam81 4 роки тому +20

      Yep. I would kiss my ex and then want some more later and he would say, "But I just kissed you!" He was a Scorpio too, so super into sex and willing to please, but that was off and on and never consistent with affection. He would fall asleep in the middle of it too. 😞

    • @lydiagraham6863
      @lydiagraham6863 4 роки тому +12

      They do it long enough to win you and that's it

    • @christinam81
      @christinam81 4 роки тому +19

      @@lydiagraham6863 True. I decided to sew my knees together for the time being 😂 Spending time with the Lord is more fulfilling 🙏🏽🙌🏽

    • @redpilled5830
      @redpilled5830 4 роки тому +5

      @@christinam81 Ughh! I've felt your pain! LOL! Now i'm just SOOO over sex! Thanks to mr. Narc

  • @juanadrianrobaina5763
    @juanadrianrobaina5763 8 місяців тому +3

    Well said,Hario," sex is not even good when there is no love and intimacy"...😮

  • @josommers1498
    @josommers1498 3 роки тому +11

    I love this guy! He’s got such a talent for talking to the masses but like he’s just talking to you!

  • @kendraadams4079
    @kendraadams4079 4 роки тому +90

    That is right. The narcissist is in the relationship for control.

    • @userofyoutuve
      @userofyoutuve 4 роки тому +4

      Reverse physiology and control them they might run

  • @salonika101
    @salonika101 4 роки тому +57

    I think it's good with narcs because that's ALL they have to offer you ! They HAVE to be that good to keep you hooked. They're such a lousy person, they go extra to make up for that crummy personality. In the end, it's not worth it.

    • @jamesarmstrong4179
      @jamesarmstrong4179 3 роки тому +2

      Salonika 101,You are beautiful,you don't need a narcissist in your life....

  •  4 роки тому +33

    I have to laugh because this assessment is so dead on!!! Narcissists are soulless, emotional vampires. No conscience. No morals. No respect.

  • @kristendamico5262
    @kristendamico5262 4 роки тому +22

    I couldn't have found you at a more perfect time. I needed this so incredibly much right now. I'm very grateful. Thank you.

    • @jamesarmstrong4179
      @jamesarmstrong4179 3 роки тому

      Kristen Damico,Your lovely smile can make the news....

  • @RESSIE007
    @RESSIE007 2 роки тому +3

    Sir you are preaching the truth. My husband is a true narcissistic. I never heard anybody describe a narcissistic the way you. I been sleeping with the enemy for many years. Getting my head together to change my life. Thank you so much for this video.

  • @robynwatkins4190
    @robynwatkins4190 4 роки тому +69

    Very accurate unfortunately. Taken me 40 years to even work it all out! There should be legal recourse for narcissistic abuse.

    • @lw7348
      @lw7348 4 роки тому +5

      You are absolutely right.

    • @RealLadi228
      @RealLadi228 4 роки тому +5

      That would be a long line my dear...

    • @esterholt1070
      @esterholt1070 4 роки тому +1

      Amen

    • @RealLadi228
      @RealLadi228 4 роки тому +3

      @Eternity With Christ
      Im definitely living proof of your wisdom and the word and promises of God!
      Amen 🙏 🙏 🙏

    • @cgreen777
      @cgreen777 4 роки тому

      They will play the courts too..and turn it on their victim.

  • @Erik7prc
    @Erik7prc 4 роки тому +287

    I know my ex thought I would come back . I stepped all the way off. Never called, texted, asked for sex.......nothing!
    I can't do it!

    • @peaceofmindofpeace1650
      @peaceofmindofpeace1650 4 роки тому +11

      Liberty 👍

    • @ericking4072
      @ericking4072 4 роки тому +18

      ME EITHER.SHE COULD COME CRAWLIN BACK UPSIDE DOWN........NO DEMONIC INFLUENCE DESIRED HERE!

    • @Gemini-sb8mv
      @Gemini-sb8mv 4 роки тому +11

      Yeah same here it took me over went years but I done it thank god

    • @Erik7prc
      @Erik7prc 4 роки тому +9

      @@Gemini-sb8mv congratulations!

    • @shani4521
      @shani4521 4 роки тому +7

      ErikisOfficial‼ How did u disconnect?

  • @AngelaDavisent
    @AngelaDavisent 4 роки тому +45

    Right! Sex isn’t everything. If that’s all you have to offer then--Goodbye 👋🏾 I deserve that + much more! ❤️
    Thanks for your insightful videos 👏🏾

  • @tillysquire-hj6kk
    @tillysquire-hj6kk Рік тому +2

    Thankyou, I resonated with what you said. The beginning was the stuff fairy tales are made of, but after a few months they just leave you wondering what you have done . Once they have you controlled there's no chase or challenge anymore. Their jeckyll & hyde !!!

  • @willday9900
    @willday9900 4 роки тому +15

    if you're dealing with a spouse who is a narcissist pray to God that they deal with that person cuz you are dealing with a real demon

  • @jaquelinespinal1263
    @jaquelinespinal1263 4 роки тому +30

    You nailed it ! I’ve had 2 narcs. I’m an empath. They know how to hunt empaths down that’s their prey . And yes they use sex,your Children, finances against you .

  • @caycic1
    @caycic1 4 роки тому +57

    Sex was when he validated me with his attention and time, so I loved it and wanted it all the time. Also, it was when he was the most nice. I had to work for his attention so sex was me getting fulfilled. Welcome to my childhood wounds lol.

    • @mercedeswalker7819
      @mercedeswalker7819 4 роки тому +12

      Yooooooooo, I thought I was crazy when I thought about this. We broke up but I’m not sad about the break up I just think about him bein in the bed with someone else only because in the bed was when I felt the most love . 🤦🏽‍♀️

    • @jenniferleann3329
      @jenniferleann3329 4 роки тому +7

      Oh my gosh, yes! Glad I'm not the only one that feels this way. I literally just told him that was the only time I felt loved by him 😭

    • @kellegeez
      @kellegeez 3 роки тому +3

      Same here...

    • @Msladee_
      @Msladee_ Рік тому +1

      Same here

  • @veggiefan2k4
    @veggiefan2k4 4 роки тому +31

    I realized that my ex-husband was a narcissist 2 days before I moved out after the official divorce. The moment we became engaged after 2 and a half years together the sex stopped. I'm 32 now. I'm super intelligent, kind, loving reliable, respectable, and beautiful. I never knew what was wrong with him, just that something was off. The sex started out decent, but over time he became more and more selfish with it and then it all just stopped. It was 2.5 and a half years of sexless marriage before I decided to end things and another 1.5 years of estrangement getting ready to financially divorce as well. When I told him I needed to leave, his personality literally became several times worse in a single bound. That's when I was sure something else was up with him. I feel sorry for him and still love him. But not enough to stay ✌🏾

  • @yogatron3290
    @yogatron3290 2 роки тому +2

    You said it best!!!!
    I thought for 15 years I was with an egotistical man. He loved attention from other woman,social media, and even outings examples (BBQs with friends,family birthday parties, dinner at restaurants, he always seemed to have an eye for the females around us, literally a snake! I would turn a blind eye to this behavior and just said to myself,
    "oh typical behavior! Men will be men!"
    Until I noticed he was flirting with my own Mother!! When I mentioned his behavior to him, he said I was the crazy one! And that he was just being friendly and that was just his personality!!
    There were many red flags!! After 15 years of this chaos, he left ME and our pets, no kids, thank God!
    But he left only because he had a place lined up, back to his Mommys house.
    She had a spear bedroom and he moved in because he said I was cheating on him. I never cheated, I adored him.Excuses... He was the liar, the 🐍 snake,the coward!!!
    After leaving me,He quickly went on social media,posted how much he appreciated his female friends and that they have been there for 🤔him, his
    "day ones"... the ones who he cheated on me with. He put these other woman on pedestals. Here I am his woman, providing,working,and Hoping for our future together. I was groomed,I didn't want to admit the truth!
    He never appreciated me, never loved me.
    I know I'm better off, but this pain, Trauma bond is like no other.
    I'm hurting, but deep down I feel relieved. I cried for months,days I couldn't get out of bed. But for the first time in years I feel peace. God will get me through🙏

  • @atention33
    @atention33 4 роки тому +9

    OMG!!! As I view all the comments I can't stress to you how thankful I am. What I have been viewing and reading on this channel has hit home so deeply

  • @willowclay3137
    @willowclay3137 4 роки тому +46

    They get bored with you because you're just a shelf toy for them!

  • @lovinglatonya3499
    @lovinglatonya3499 4 роки тому +177

    Towards the end of our relationship last year I didn’t even want him touching me. What’s the point if we’re going to end up arguing 🤷🏽‍♀️ I’ll pass🤦🏾‍♀️ I had a narcissistic mother so unfortunately I have been a narc magnet 🧲...I’m just realizing what happened to me these years. I don’t think I have been in a relationship with a normal person 🤦🏾‍♀️😩 They all have some weird ticks with sex...thank God for UA-cam I’ve been watching and learning for 4 years now it’s amazing how these people are all the same. So true about them recruiting wherever they go. I could give so many stories about outings with them. They are the worst. And the way you describe their mannerisms and how they act is so on point it’s hilarious because not everyone understands the madness. I’m enjoying your channel

    • @harioovadtop2827
      @harioovadtop2827  4 роки тому +13

      Loving latonya we all seem to have so much in common with them and our experiences are very similar, thanks for watching

    • @lovinglatonya3499
      @lovinglatonya3499 4 роки тому +4

      Br8king Tha Silence honey we know each other’s pain🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️🧘🏽‍♀️
      Blessings to you 🙏🏽😇

    • @PhenomMy_Journey
      @PhenomMy_Journey 4 роки тому +6

      Wow.. La tonya I hope you share your stories so other people can relate and understand that their not alone. I fell victim to two narcs and also being an empath. I'll be soon creating a yt channel talking about my experiences to help others. And I appreciate yt too because it help me out tremendously about what I was experiencing and going through. Just like Hario. I hope you La tonya and even your twin up top can share your stories as well. To further help other people because yall the world needs to know how serious this demonic disease is! The more awareness the better we can help other people that are still suffering and is still stuck in this terminating cycle! Much love to all of you. I can imagine you guys pain growing up with mothers that are narcs. I encourage you guys to talk about it. Blessings on you both.

    • @PhenomMy_Journey
      @PhenomMy_Journey 4 роки тому

      Typo "only imagine"

    • @lovinglatonya3499
      @lovinglatonya3499 4 роки тому +4

      sylvdxn Im getting to a point of healing where I can share my stories and I have a lot...being raised by a narcissist mom. I have stories from the age of 5...I have had more narcissist around me than normal people 🥴
      Im at definitely at a good place now Thank God and you for your kind words

  • @YourAuthenticSelf_LifeCoaching
    @YourAuthenticSelf_LifeCoaching 4 роки тому +45

    Thank you, I didn't realize who I was dealing with until I left and looked back at the horrible relationship. The good parts were the love bombing. I'm so glad I got out when I did. I agree sex is never as good as with someone that cares about you and treats you with respect. I had forgotten what that feels like. Thank you again.

  • @bonniemendenhall9853
    @bonniemendenhall9853 4 роки тому +18

    It’s true women can go years without sex

  • @lifewithbreion1392
    @lifewithbreion1392 3 роки тому +4

    "You dont want conflict"
    That hit hard!!! They really are devils!!!!

  • @johannawoodfin5373
    @johannawoodfin5373 4 роки тому +53

    OMG! Thank you! Its been 9 years of hell going back and forth. I blamed myself thinking I wasnt good enough. Sex with him was so not intimate. Kissing non existent. You verified what Ive been thinking all along.

    • @loveinautumn3978
      @loveinautumn3978 4 роки тому +5

      I know the feeling sis. My ex wasn't intimate during sex either it didn't feel like love making. Just an act for him.

    • @lioydwilliams1850
      @lioydwilliams1850 4 роки тому

      Johanna Woodfin, you are too precious to be with a narcissist!

    • @soniamahi6125
      @soniamahi6125 2 роки тому

      Same

  • @susanwebster7584
    @susanwebster7584 4 роки тому +69

    Love how real you are (the exact opposite of a narc, haha). Its a shame that empaths don't attract other empaths. WTH!

    • @amberleyvas9125
      @amberleyvas9125 4 роки тому +2

      Right!!! 😂 Wonder what that would look like...

    • @letssee9
      @letssee9 3 роки тому +9

      Actually we do and we can. We just had to learn some life lessons from those dammed devils. Now we have discernment. Good luck to you.

    • @letssee9
      @letssee9 3 роки тому +2

      @@amberleyvas9125 it would look like actual love as long as codependency isn't a part of it. Good luck to you.

    • @susanwebster7584
      @susanwebster7584 3 роки тому +1

      @@letssee9 I don't trust myself now! haha Are you in a relationship with an empath?

    • @letssee9
      @letssee9 3 роки тому +1

      @@susanwebster7584 i'm not in a serious romantic relationship right now. I'm taking my time to get to know someone while enjoying my time. I also look at 'friend' and family relationships,and have cut off some that were not true friends. I'm left with caring people. I haven't gotten into any arguments lately. We attract all kinds, we accept what we accept.

  • @yevonnevanhorn8533
    @yevonnevanhorn8533 4 роки тому +55

    WOW! So true when I didn't do what he wanted he would be disinterested in me. He wanted to break up then say we can get together in three months. Love Don't Live Here Anymore.

    • @lacrossslounge5403
      @lacrossslounge5403 4 роки тому +1

      😂😂

    • @olebeezie5653
      @olebeezie5653 4 роки тому +5

      They love to string you along. Ain't Nobody got time for that madness! 😂😂😂

    • @kellywatts9517
      @kellywatts9517 4 роки тому +1

      Yeah one minute together, next friends, then the next he wanted to willing to try again. Crazy cycle!!!

  • @jessislayton2858
    @jessislayton2858 4 роки тому +12

    Within the last few days I just came to realize that my two year relationship is a narsiscist. And I came across this video thru my personal research and it's like you are reading my last two years. I was literally fooled for two years. How could I have been so blinded for so long? I literally enabled him and made excuses for him. I thought he was empathic and in reality, he was the snake.

    • @pjpammyj4037
      @pjpammyj4037 Рік тому

      Happens to the best of us💔

    • @jafhio2284
      @jafhio2284 Рік тому

      It happened to me too..she was a narc...she treated me so bad in the discard and devaluation stage.
      Like a trash.
      I break up with her...actually she discarded me long time and have sonebody ready.
      I was a fool i saw whats goin on. But didnr do anything until jan21 2023.i break up with her.
      She was mad...as if shes the victim.
      Until now no contact.
      But im still hurting coz i wS a victim of narc abuse

  • @stohandmadejewelrycraftcorner
    @stohandmadejewelrycraftcorner 2 роки тому +6

    Thank you so much. I looked at a video of a self aware narcissist, who talked about intimacy from their perspective. It made come to this video to compare notes. Both of you are on point. I am so glad for this video. I started taking back my power in that department almost a year ago after 20 years of HELL. I am done. No turning back. Enough has been said and done. He can do whatever he wants without me. Real talk.💯

  • @myrnafigueroa1033
    @myrnafigueroa1033 4 роки тому +33

    The boyfriend I had before I got married was an emotional and mental abusive Narcissist. Believe me, I rather have used a sex toy than to think what I went through. It wasn’t worth the abuse. RUN 🏃🏼‍♀️

  • @mama2the4thpwr88
    @mama2the4thpwr88 4 роки тому +51

    This speaks to me....they can put all their cares to the side for sex, while I’m still upset from how I’m treated and supposed to just lay down for you. I just don’t understand 🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @sunnyclouds1372
    @sunnyclouds1372 4 роки тому +80

    Sad thing is your right especially when it comes to friends and family ugh so creepy and foul. And men narcs do withhold sex lol then when you say something they blame you or circumstances.

    • @gilmourishgilmourish6205
      @gilmourishgilmourish6205 4 роки тому +9

      When I met the narc I was single for 6,5 years with a daughter.
      To be able to have “joyful sex” with no listening ears and to feel free I sent my daughter to my sister ... guess what... no sex during the whole time she was away.
      The Next year the same..
      they are evil controlling jealous people who would rather die than to give you pleasure. It’s all about them

    • @barbarawarren9443
      @barbarawarren9443 4 роки тому +6

      Yup - they use sex to hook you and then withhold it, as we would do anything for things to be like they were in the beginning, but it's all a game to them, and at this point, they already have a fresh supply. Exactly as Hario said.

    • @myvideos4utube
      @myvideos4utube 4 роки тому +1

      I've totally experienced this. Says he was adjusting to me since I felt he wanted it to much. Really going from several times at once to once a month? Naw you're totally going somewhere else

    • @myvideos4utube
      @myvideos4utube 4 роки тому +2

      @@barbarawarren9443 this is so true. I could tell he was either getting new ideas from porn or someone else. I'd be thinking where did that come from?🤔

    • @Real2k25
      @Real2k25 4 роки тому

      Mine did that to me smh

  • @lady2luuvly
    @lady2luuvly Рік тому +2

    Hmm this explains why sex with my ex narc felt so “kiddie” (for lack of a better term) it was always just straight to the point. Now looking back, he was juggling me & 4 other women so he was too tired to put in the full work like he did in the beginning. Thanks for this eye opener

  • @eeusebe78
    @eeusebe78 3 роки тому +6

    Definitely in the discard stage right now, its almost mind boggling how soooo many other people are going through the same EXACT thing that I have been going through for the past 20 years. I hit a stage where the ignore stage finally got to me and I gave them a dose of their own medicine and stopped approaching and apologizing for stuff I never did. The soulless ones is a true statement, if I did not have the love for Jesus in my life, I would not be here now…great video, and thanks for the info!

    • @TUFFGloveBoxing
      @TUFFGloveBoxing Рік тому

      Bro I feel you, I have been married over 20 yrs and just came across this info in the last two weeks. since then I think I have watched over 70 videos. I stay in a separate room in the house. She would beg me to come back into the bedroom but I refused. This past holiday her mother, sisters, niece and brother n law all flew to Texas from Philadelphia. She wanted to show off our house since it has been remodeled. She decided to talk to me in a commanding tone in front her family. I got embarrassed then I whispered under my breath "Cheating ass" and she heard me. She thought the rest of the family heard me too and flew into a rage calling me a "stupid MF." I decided I had enough. I told her she was a "Dirty B*&%^" and she absolutely lost it. She tried to physically attack me the whole family had to hold her back. (I have M.S so I use a walker sometimes) I drove her family to the airport as they were scheduled tp leave the next morning. I apologized to them. The mother didn't seem upset but I could tell her sister was. (SO! LMAO) ...anyway somethong happened that I never saw in her. She hid avoiding even just the sight of me at all cost for two days. When she finally came to my room to talk she told me "She didn't love me and I don't love her. And that she called my Mother and Uncle to tell them she was leaving me. (I thought that was strange. Why my uncle?) He called me right away to tell me she want out (So do I) so I told him make sure no one tries to change her mind. So when she came to me I already had the heads up. I stayed calm and gave her no reaction. Just listened and told her I agree that the marriage is over. I took my ring off and put it in my jewelry case. she flashed her ringless hand and had the nerve to say "I have not taken my ring off in 20 yrs so you know it's no reverse." (like really you fucked the world with those same rings on ya hand 🤣😂) But I didn't say anything. She proceeded to tell me the exit strategy. and all we need to do is co-parent" I told her that our youngest turns 18 next month our two girls are in their twenties and working already with careers. They can reach out to me on they own." This is all before I knew about NPD. She didn't like that statement at all. she left my room then a few min later I saw the rings being kicked under my door. I picked them up and put them in the jewelry box. I completely ignore her now. it's been almost 4 weeks since the fallout. I will be moving out this summer after my son graduates so I can financially prepare for my new place. Two days ago I saw her talking to my daughter while I was cooking me some food in the kitchen. She looked like she is loosing weight and her eyes had heavy bags under them and her voice was course. She works from home and I don't hear anything coming from that room but blasting positive frequency music. I can't lie I felt sorry for her and was a little worried but I walked past her like she didn't exist. Every time I get the urge to engage I tell myself. She is probably texting another man right now. I cried after watching about 20 videos because I couldn't believe all This time there was really no her...and she never loved me...more than that she never let on she knew we would end. That's where we are right now. I am so glad because once I learned about NPD the past 20 yrs suddenly made since. The confusion his over...The healing has begun! No contact even in the same house but she won't really feel it until I move out. thx for letting me tell my story. 💯

  • @ShinySilverBunny
    @ShinySilverBunny 4 роки тому +57

    Ever since I've been celibate since my ex narc 3.5yrs ago it has been a blessing of protection...because I've met many other crazy narcs since then and being a mature adult woman I dont see this getting any better. A lot of sickos out there and dating sites is a poor investment.

    • @katherineroberts5698
      @katherineroberts5698 4 роки тому +2

      Well stated!! Thank you Chica.

    • @bn3420
      @bn3420 4 роки тому +4

      Omg!!!! I thought I was the only one
      Since my experience it's like I have radar for narcs in my family at work ppl in general its fucking crazy world we live in so many fucked up ppl
      I shake my head I feel sad for my grandchildren generation or even my great grandbabies generation
      I find my happiness and peace being alone staying away from ppl js
      To much envy and poison out there

    • @teresadockery8043
      @teresadockery8043 3 роки тому +3

      OMG, you hit the nail on the head!!!! I’m 8 months celibate so far and it has DEFINITELY BEEN A SHIELD OF PROTECTION for me…..I couldn’t agree more about the dating sites-heck that’s where I met the Narc I ended up with who caused irreparable damage to me it seems. But I’m a fighter, I’m determined to heal and get through this. I’m blown away by how many narcs walk among us. This Narcissism stuff seems to be an epidemic proportions now. I pray UA-cam platforms like Hario’s continue to shine the light and educate, and serve as healing agents! Peace and blessings💕

    • @pjpammyj4037
      @pjpammyj4037 Рік тому

      Bravo!!!

  • @reneeruwe3895
    @reneeruwe3895 4 роки тому +30

    Wow. Reminds me of how a pediophile will groom the target child. So scary sad

    • @myvideos4utube
      @myvideos4utube 4 роки тому +2

      I rmb asking my narc husband if he would have sex with a little girl. I mean sex was always on his mind. Everything had a sexual overtone, even with our 3 young sons. It drove me nuts. Everything turned into a sexual joke. I questioned made him furious. I just felt him needing it 4-5 in a session was extreme. My story is 28 yrs long and I cant believe it took my all this time to learn the truth. Hid behind being a min, then eld and was just put in position to pastor. He has what was our pastors fooled. They have cut me off but are walking hand and hand with him KNOWING he's having an affair. Pastor has been counseling him for 3+ yrs and he's gotten worse. I was devastated bc I reached out to the female pastor in confidence and for help, but now I'm the problem. It's not fair, but I'm glad I've learned from this situation.

    • @cgreen777
      @cgreen777 4 роки тому +1

      They ARE Pedophiles! No child is safe around them.

  • @GLRWIN
    @GLRWIN 4 роки тому +30

    He knew. You are 100% right and I’m mad at myself for getting involved with this. The whole video was for me. Dam

  • @susieschilling4009
    @susieschilling4009 4 роки тому +23

    Steve Harvey’s 3 month “no cookie” to weed out the snakes.

    • @Miss.Melody83
      @Miss.Melody83 4 роки тому +16

      That's bad advice from him. Three months is nothing. That's easy for some people. And a man can wait 3 months, especially if he getting it from someone else.

    • @JaceingtonSteele
      @JaceingtonSteele 4 роки тому +5

      Not true. I knew a dude who purposely waited for women with "waiting stages" to go thru the waiting period, fuck the shit outta them one time and then ghost them. So, that wait stage mess don't always work.

    • @TEM14411
      @TEM14411 4 роки тому +5

      You don't reveal the waiting period. You dont even address it. Just don't put yourself in a situation that allows for sex. They will disappear and weed themselves out.

    • @Miss.Melody83
      @Miss.Melody83 4 роки тому +3

      @@JaceingtonSteele exactly. A lot of men will wait then leave when it happens.

    • @patriciawhite9509
      @patriciawhite9509 4 роки тому +3

      @@Miss.Melody83 A man will leave you whether you single or married, cookie or no cookie. A man who truly is attracted to and love a woman will stay with that woman through thick or thin.

  • @rinachavah1450
    @rinachavah1450 4 роки тому +11

    The crazy thing in my situationship is my narc constantly accuses me of being with people in his circle. Hes fussed with them and all. Just lets me know he must be sharing himself with so many women its ridiculous. Projection. Hes one of the sexiest men ive met in a min but is the most insecure man ive seen in my life at the same time.

  • @joycesanders9851
    @joycesanders9851 4 роки тому +30

    Man, where were you when I was being misled? You are dead on it

  • @tracyandrews5680
    @tracyandrews5680 4 роки тому +31

    Right before discard, I was just a hole...no kissing, no passion, I am not even there. Sadly, that was the only time I felt close to him anymore

    • @marysmith5041
      @marysmith5041 4 роки тому +5

      Yeah i can relate x

    • @angelwhite4061
      @angelwhite4061 4 роки тому +1

      OMG. EXACTLY!!!!

    • @myvideos4utube
      @myvideos4utube 4 роки тому +2

      I felt the same way. His new supply was in the picture for 3 yrs. I noticed that once she relocated from FL to AZ he was totally removed from our marriage, despite the fact he was saying he wanted to work on it. I had no idea she had been flying in and out of here spending time with my husband. She's a narc as well. I am currently separated for 1 month and waiting for divorce.

    • @mary0872
      @mary0872 4 роки тому +3

      Omg me too! He made me question whether I wasn’t attractive anymore when in fact he checked out a long time ago with me disinterested... it was never me!! I’m very sensual & romantic he could never measure up ... pardon the pun 😜

    • @TrueNorth1987
      @TrueNorth1987 3 роки тому +1

      Yes!!!!!

  • @gailm.7955
    @gailm.7955 4 роки тому +24

    It's true women can go months and years i know😂😂 love your video's be BLessed...

  • @kelseyknock2356
    @kelseyknock2356 4 роки тому +14

    Wow wow wow!!!
    I relate to this so much.. my ex narc took my virginity so I really didn’t have anything else to compare the sex to..
    He was a straight sadist after the love bombing phase.. started off very intense and amazing.. then became very brutal.. ugh I cringe thinking back to what he had me doing.. and the way he praised and devalued me.. I was like a puppet. Never said no. I felt like I had no right to.
    Amazing how much control he had over me. And I was sick.. literally sick after he 'fell out of love with me' after 3 yrs
    I lost almost 45 pounds in a month and a half from the stress. Even developed shingles. He came crawling back after ignoring me for 2 months. It was like he got off on how sick and emaciated I became. Love bombed the hell out of me and we were right back into the thick of it. Regained the weight and he went back to struggling to get it up at 23yrs of age. I felt like garbage. Yet my mind was so messed up he was like a drug I needed to please to get my fix.
    I wound up ending it a year later because his best friend witnessed him trying to make out with a high school grad at an after party.
    If it wasn’t for his friend I never would have known. He lied straight to my face about that night. (Not that I’m surprised now, but It was a huge blow to my groomed mindset)
    When I told him Steve told me what happened he came undone crying then raging.. I blocked him. Went no contact, for years. Moved to a different Provence.
    He sensed me moving on -and let me tell I you I mourned him for years. Holy did that break up hurt. out of the blue he drove 8hrs to my new city to have sex with me like he used to. It was 3 days of sex and nothing more. I remember trying to cuddle on the third day and pushed me away saying ‘let’s not act like we are in a relationship now'
    I now know he was just starting a relationship with now girlfriend.
    Shocker.. I know
    He’s a vampire with mind control stemming from his phallus
    Looking back it’s all so crazy 😳
    Fast forward to now and I have an amazingly loving tender boyfriend who has never even considered some of the fucked up things I had done to me. I was shocked at first the sex didn’t hurt. That’s how rough my ex was.
    I feel ashamed for what I let my ex do to my body. It’s made me feel violated and it manifests in ways my boyfriend doesn’t deserve.
    The most messed up part is sometimes I crave that level of devalue still.. like some of the sticky evil is still there.
    It’s been almost 6 years with my boyfriend and it’s getting better all the time. But wow does it ever take time to heal from that type of abuse
    It’s a cancer that needs to be removed.
    You have to learn to love yourself so much that you can never afford to give yourself to a demon like that.
    I pray those who have been damaged by narcissism experience what true love feels like.
    The two aren’t close to the same spectrum

    • @pjpammyj4037
      @pjpammyj4037 Рік тому

      Very good story telling, thank you for your vulnerability. The same happened to me as a grown adult. Peace.

    • @irenehamilton2981
      @irenehamilton2981 4 місяці тому

      I'm sorry you went through that glad you got out don't ever go back

  • @cathy_clarinet
    @cathy_clarinet 4 роки тому +4

    Every single word... I lived it .....you 💯 know what you’re talking about. It’s just good hearing someone else validate that we “saw what we saw”.

  • @janesjourney8757
    @janesjourney8757 4 роки тому +22

    The devaluing stage happened as soon as we had sex. The sex from square one was lack luster. I t literally was all about his satisfaction. I am celibate til I find a Godly man who will wait til we are married

    • @Dtella55
      @Dtella55 4 роки тому

      Exactly...💯💯

  • @ohiostate8636
    @ohiostate8636 4 роки тому +121

    I can write a book on how i was treated

    • @sarahokudaye3451
      @sarahokudaye3451 4 роки тому +6

      Me too....

    • @PhenomMy_Journey
      @PhenomMy_Journey 4 роки тому +9

      Write it!

    • @DrJoanGMutua
      @DrJoanGMutua 4 роки тому +6

      Be encouraged . Me too .but I'm glad I walked away a few years ago.

    • @ohiostate8636
      @ohiostate8636 4 роки тому +22

      @@DrJoanGMutua I wish I would have walked away all the signs were there I was just too in love and she knew that . I Thank god for the people on you tube they really got me thru it im 53 and never experienced anything like this it totally sucked the life out of me its been a little over a year now and im finally back to myself again

    • @DrJoanGMutua
      @DrJoanGMutua 4 роки тому +4

      @@ohiostate8636 oh no. 53 here in Kenya we say 50 is the new 18. Still young to move on with someone worth it. I feel your pain.i walked from one ie the father of my children (2girls) to the next but a long-term relationship . And it's when I went into a search why these kinda men etc. Got.my.answers and I proudly walked away before I lost or all. I thank God too to You tube family

  • @sharonj3276
    @sharonj3276 4 роки тому +40

    That low libido thing is exactly what was said to me!

    • @Advaessentials
      @Advaessentials 4 роки тому +4

      My first time meeting up with my guy after talking for a while, he wanted me to jerk him off right in front of my house and he wanted sex all the time. After us going through a couple situations with him flirting with other women, he had the nerve to tell me he naturally has a low sex drive! Like...what?

    • @MsAchampion
      @MsAchampion 4 роки тому +3

      Me too! He said he has impotency? Lies! Lol

    • @monilisasmilehowell9517
      @monilisasmilehowell9517 4 роки тому

      Yeap

    • @mary0872
      @mary0872 4 роки тому +1

      Mine was on steroids ... he lasted 10 min no passion no affection ... so I’m not certain if he was doing others & lost interest in me ... any thoughts ???

    • @lovelylife1896
      @lovelylife1896 2 роки тому

      Yep I use to hear that ish all the time and he said it so casually as if it was normal .

  • @marycauchon4314
    @marycauchon4314 4 роки тому +5

    I used to say those exact same things to him. Where is the guy I met. Definitely was bread crumbed. I felt like I was kissing a wall.
    I was usually rejected from sex and I was over sexed he said.
    I wanted to feel loved and be loved. Finally betrayal and I walked away. Now they are together and he is in love with the woman of his dreams...so I hear. Good luck she can have him!

  • @liz090833
    @liz090833 3 роки тому +8

    Anything that can raise my awareness of the patterns that exist, I'm here for it bc It almost feels like a rollercoaster that I have been on for so long. It just keeps repeating until you're so dizzy and confused about what really occured, exhausted even. That's what narcs thrive off of. The space where you're so f tired & sad. They eat it up.

    • @jamesarmstrong4179
      @jamesarmstrong4179 3 роки тому

      Elizabeth Rose,You are beautiful,you don't need a narcissist in your life....

  • @blessed1003
    @blessed1003 4 роки тому +22

    Remember they have NO boundaries they will ride through any and all circles yours and even their male friends females. They will Tryit In Your circle and Theirs Too. High Risk Death Trap Swingers. Thank God for revelation of these pestilence.

  • @audreywashington5890
    @audreywashington5890 4 роки тому +87

    They will be there with you. But watch their eyes they are checking out the other women. Dont be fooled, no one is the only one. Wouldnt it be amazing if his entire haram could get toghther to compare notes.!!😂

    • @sheritamanuel3174
      @sheritamanuel3174 4 роки тому +2

      Been there

    • @userofyoutuve
      @userofyoutuve 4 роки тому +2

      Yeap

    • @1010QUEEN7
      @1010QUEEN7 4 роки тому +9

      That's all he did watching every thing that passed by all in my face

    • @imdifferent7294
      @imdifferent7294 4 роки тому

      Yup

    • @theresabowman1155
      @theresabowman1155 4 роки тому +1

      He wasn't much of a woman watcher he'd want to go out to dinner and I would purposely say let's go to Hooters or twin peaks where the waitresses dressed sexy. Any man's fantasy huh well not his he look at them like they were disgusting

  • @regancurtis38
    @regancurtis38 4 роки тому +25

    This video was such an eye opener, I was dealing with a narc and he did all of this to me, I'm so happy I got away and praying that he stays away

    • @jamesarmstrong4179
      @jamesarmstrong4179 3 роки тому

      Regan Curtis,You are beautiful,hope you are not with a narcissist....

  • @Rosalinoneri25890
    @Rosalinoneri25890 3 роки тому +1

    You are definitely 100 percent right. I'm a woman and you told my life story tonight. Thanks for your insight definitely from a man's perspective

  • @MentalAbility28
    @MentalAbility28 4 роки тому +13

    In my Keenan Ivory Wayans voice to this video..."MESSAAAAGE!!"

  • @victoriavitoroulis3273
    @victoriavitoroulis3273 4 роки тому +57

    Most male narcs will do anything for supply even go the down low route

    • @sexycaliman003
      @sexycaliman003 4 роки тому +3

      💯

    • @kathymoonier1687
      @kathymoonier1687 4 роки тому +19

      Mine would rather play with himself than have sex with me..sorry if that's to much information

    • @userofyoutuve
      @userofyoutuve 4 роки тому +5

      😯😯😯 I had my suspicions too

    • @kellywatts9517
      @kellywatts9517 4 роки тому +4

      Mine is willing to pay for sex. He's a little different because he enjoys being alone because he doesn't want the headaches, so he'll pay for it especially since he has some erectile issues. Needs viagra, but won't take it.

    • @cgreen777
      @cgreen777 4 роки тому

      They have no true feelings.

  • @lmiles998
    @lmiles998 4 роки тому +23

    Thank you ! I just found you yesterday ) Ya ! They are not all that ! We just don't value ourselves enough., thinking carnaly and like you said , we were resonating , at a low frequency when we meet them ! Try to help them, remaining low ! I was ! I met my Narc , at a club ! The Friends , I had were Narcs ! I only saw the good in people , not the evil masked in sympathy and sweetness ! I tolerated them all ! I was being played a fool ! I was paining to break free ! It was all me ! I allowed it , in all experiences ! God, confounds the wise with the foolish ! It's a gift to experience pain and become a better person and look within., raise the bar ! Be your true self , know thyself ! A Spiritual being ! A child of God )

  • @Anaksi8
    @Anaksi8 4 роки тому +15

    You’re doing the lord’s work brother

  • @anonymous-vr8ex
    @anonymous-vr8ex 3 роки тому +3

    This is exactly what happened over the years, great work. This is surreal how you know everything in detail about a narcissist. Is as though you were invisible in our relationship and seen and heard everything.

  • @bachopinbee5991
    @bachopinbee5991 4 роки тому +15

    Man, I can't tell you how much my narc made me jealous. She enjoyed triangulation so much she could shovel it right in my face! My best friends, my mother, my mentors. She never touched me, thanked me, complimented, hugged me. She kept me wanting to the driest of proportions I was 3000% dry. She made my life drained and miserable, jealous and insecure. It made my nights gruellingly horrendous, never acknowledged any of my feelings, stayed hours talking about hers(and how she didn't know what she felt) and kept me longing for nothing! I was a very touchy annd passionate guy, but I was dry af, not to even have anything left for my friends, who stuck with me till the end. I could go home and destroy my shoes in rage, or binge watch the big bang theory to try and understand what is happening to me, or what I did(🤦🏾‍♂️)
    This is so long, but that is the truth. And all I could have in my mind is the sight or the thought of how comfortable she was with other people and despising, degrading and hurting me, humiliating me even in front of our friends. I'm so sorry it's a bit long, but those were the times. Glad I am out. I just pray for her new husband to get the hell out and not to suffer as badly as I did. Poor him, I can't even warn him