When you discard them. Don't check what's happening to them on any social media. Resist that temptation because if you do what you see will hurt you. Just breath
@@markg2307 ... no... It is xxx ...+ 🟥 😂😂😂 Usually ... trying to proofe to the World that She is So GREAT Persona ... (* means=LOOKING Great ) , ... and soooo Desireabl ... 🦞 ) Of course ... ... Stuff that you know about their behaviour and character ... IS NOT ON DISPLAY !!! ... -For sure !!! ) 🙃🙃🙃😂😂😂🤪 😁😬🤐🥳😽👹👺 ...
I filed for divorce 5 days ago. My narcissist wife has tormented me for almost 9 years. My 7 year old son is having emotional problems; and I have to save him. I finally realized that I have to save ME, in order to save my Son. I am FINISHED being her crash test dummy. Right now, she knows she pushed me to my limit; and she is 4 days into "love bombing" with fresh iced tea, clean dishes, etcetera. When she gets served with divorce papers in a few days, the demon inside her will emerge with fury and rage beyond imagination. Wish me luck!!!
Narcissists play dirty once they know it’s truky over -if you haven’t gotten the PDF When The Devils The Defendent I highly recommend it -it’s been downloaded by thousands and has been so helpful to those going through the horror of divorcing anarcissist- Narcissists only have the upper hand when their targets are clueless as to what they are doing or why - knowledge is power and being prepared for court is vital! I truly hope the best for you both.
black sword what do you mean? He lost the case? She had the judge hooked like and sinker if that’s the case. Wrapped around her fingers. Gotta get these judges narcissist proof degrees/licenses. There should be a whole year of avoid narcissist level perjury law.
I tend to think that wether you are male or female, the narcisstic 's favourite game is convincing you that you cannot make it in life without them. Once you face your fears and leave them, you will heal emotionally and physically.
In addition they create the environment for you to be dependent on them as confirmation that you cannot make it without them. They slowly breakdown your self confidence, self esteem, and independence.
Exactly! If things cant be reciprocated it's over, the other half will be trying to get you to stay as friends. Friendship to them is second place, it gives the partner the opportunity to reach out. Everything is one sided.
Patrick Mendoza omg. This shit makes so much sense. She tried get me stay friends with after I left. She try really really hard get me stay friends with after I left but I don’t stay friends w my ex’s. I’m glad I told her no.
Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free…
I dated a narcissist female for 6 months. I did not listen to my gut after the first date, and if I had, I’d have never seen her again. She was everything I’d ever wanted for the first two months. And then she switched like a light switch. It was like I was in prison in my own home. The gaslighting drove me over the edge. I cried every day. And she would not leave my house. She ended up beating the shit out of me, I had her arrested and she was so remorseful for a week! I fell for it. Then she switched back AGAIN and told me I made her mad enough to beat the shit out of me, that I ruined her life by calling the cops and that I’m a terrible person. All because I didn’t listen to my gut. Thank god she’s gone. But she put me through things I’m not sure I can ever truly get over. Narcissism is absolute insanity. How do they sleep at night?!
My ex wife of 10 years took over all the home admin: cooking, cleaning, kids, shopping, even doing my taxes. Before I met her I did absolutely everything for myself, but gave in to be pampered. It was definitely one "chain" that was hard to break; because I had become too comfortable. Anyway, after I mustered the courage to leave her (I was totally under her control), I filed for divorce. One thing I have learned, is that even if you have been utterly crippled by such women, you have to consciously let go the VICTIM mentality. You must completely reject that rabbit hole and start clawing your way back up to strength. Stay strong my brothers.
AuricMonkey I have been married less than two months . I really wish I new what a narcissist was I only started looking after I was married . Because according to her things would be different if we where married !!!! We are already in therapy !!! I really don't want to abandon her . But she wants to control every aspect of my life ! It's unbelievable how everything I see about a narcissist woman is true ! She got pissed when I wouldn't let her managed my linked in account . I really feel like this is the last straw for me. She wants to control everything as if I can do nothing right !!! I seriously want to throw up
Its sad to read about your situation. We get married because we love and want to form a lasting companionship with that special person, so to see that it is going wrong so quickly is unfortunate. I would advise taking a step back and consulting with someone you trust, your father or an elder you respect, who would give you a sincere perspective on what is happening. My experience of therapists is not good, but you should keep trying, maybe it works for you. Above all be sincere with yourself about what is going on, eg. if you´re going out partying all the time, thats something you need to change as a married man, but remember that you should not assume guilt and responsability if your conduct is impeccable. Being kind does not equate with being foolish. Lastly, get sex completely off the table or at least use protection (that means you, not her) because if things do go south, last thing you want is to get her pregnant and be tied to a succubus for the rest of your life while paying alimony for the privilege. Seriously. Its only temporary and it does help with perspective. If she gets unreasonably mad about this, best watch your neck. Good luck
Michelle said you go back after leaving, I did, you get love bombed, separate your money, your friends, your realatives, your shrink, your narc will poison them against you and to you will say they are talking about you behind your back. They will attack anything that takes you away from their control. Do your self work. What made you the target. Why did you get caught. Make yourself strong emotionally. And brace yourself for fire and brimstone.
Narcissist or BPD Rules (Please feel free to add to the master list ) 1. Lies to cover up lies 2. Never keeps a promise 3. Blames partner for everything gone wrong 4. Blames everyone else for everything that’s gone wrong 5. Triangulates everyone, your family , your friends , the neighbor , your coworkers to destroy your reputation and make you out to look like a monster 6. Reckless with their money , credit 7. Reckless with your own money , credit 8. Always needs financial help 9. Irrational & insecure , almost paranoid wanting to check your phone or where you’ve been but if they disappear we aren’t allowed to ask 10. Controlling of their partners 11. Are complete slobs that rarely clean or organized 12. Rules are for everyone else except themselves 13. Will manipulate you to make you feel as if your the crazy one . In fact they will tell you that you need psychological help 14. Will twist the truth and facts into their sick version of reality 15. Will pick a special day to torment or destroy you emotionally or by breaking up with you like on your birthday , holidays , special events just to make a permanent lasting damage to you that you’ll never forget 16. Will tell you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you and then turn around and say they don’t love you anymore get out 17. Never if rarely ever apologizes for their mistakes or if they get caught 18. Or if they do admit and apologizes, it is short lived and acts as if nothing terrible has happened 19. Constant mood swings back and forth that drive you crazy . 20. They are not financially stable 21. Constantly is on the cell phone checking on others on social media 22. Likes to judge and cast the stone upon others 23. Can’t handle criticism because their egos are so fragile 24. Will explode in rage and make you feel fear 25. Will set you up whether with the police , courts , friends , family to make you look bad 26. The biggest hypocrites claiming to believe in something but in reality they have no values no morals 27. Willing to screw people over including those close to them 28. Always complaining unappreciative 29. Creates a false sense of superiority in that they believe they deserve better than anyone else 30. Reckless in their decision making even risking ones own relationship & family 31. Are very charming and friendly that they suck you in 32. Quickly starts talking about marriage and you are my soul mate and talks about building a life together after only a few months 33. If you attempt to discard them before they are done with you, they will seek revenge and do everything in their power to get back into your life including by humbling themselves and saying how sorry they are . But in reality it’s all a setup to get you to lower your wall and defensive and then once in will destroy your heart on purpose . 34. Will use emotions like crying , screaming and acting as if they are the ones hurt , not you . 35. Will always leave the slightest chance of hope and mess with your mind that things might work out. 36. Can’t keep a stable job . In fact has more jobs than fingers on the hand 37. If they have seen a therapist, you can bet it’s not the same person over the months or years and will discard their own therapist once that person realizes how messed up they are and begin to question their decision making 38. Does not believe they have a problem. In fact you are the one with the mental issues . 39. Once they do something bad and get caught , taking responsibility does not exist for them. It’s you who will be punished and treated like crap 40. Will make plans in the future to discard you and possibly be with someone else but will wait patiently like a spider does to the fly prey. And then without warning will strike against you . And your either kicked out , served with divorce 41. After discarding you will hover around you to see what your up to like a vulcher circles around its potential prey. 42. Willing to take gambles and risky behavior regardless of the consequences 43. Is not afraid of the law, police or society . However the one thing they are terrified with is severe sickness or death because they know you can’t cheat nor manipulate it. 44. Will pretend to care and be interested in your problems but it’s all fake 45. Will be eager to meet new people and make new friends so as to use them in the future to get something out of them whether it’s a potential job , borrowing money or exploit them. 46. Will even use their own children against the other parent and bad mouth them to the child
Everything was absolutely ‘perfect’ for 8 months. Travelled together. Made plans for the future. Then one day she completely changed. Became hypersensitive to pretty much anything I said. Said crazy things. Left her alone for a week. Thinking things would ‘reset’. Within a day she blew up again, ten times worse. I still tried to fix it, but all she was focused on was serving me pain. I walked away. A month later she emails me. I delete it without reading. Haven’t heard from her since. 18 months. For that, I’m grateful.
GOOD FOR YOU...YOU SAFELY ESCAPED.. DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR HER...FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF..AND THE CRUEL TREATMENT SHE ENJOYED GIVING YOU.....YOUR MISERY GAVE HER JOY....BELIEVE ME..SHE WILL NEVER CHANGE.....A VERY DERANGED PERSON....YOUR FREE NOW!..REJOICE AND DON'T EVER GO BACK...
Too true , you are never good enough. I gave everything , emotionally, physically & financially , and it's never enough. It's all your fault they're not happy xx
The hardest thing about recovering from a narcissistic relationship is reclaiming your identity. They slowly manipulate you by making false promises of love and commitment. Then they take away your family, friends, and support system. Finally they try to take away your goals and dreams. I kept giving and she kept taking. I kept placing her needs, desires, and wishes before mine. It took me so long to post this post. Because for so long I did not have a voice.
Yes they take away your..FAMILY..ALL YOUR FRIENDS..ISOLATE YOU IN THEIR HOUSE...GET VIOLENT IF YOU TRY TO LEAVE TO VISIT FAMILY OR FRIENDS...THEY TELL YOU NO TO PURSUE YOUR MUSICAL GOALS AND DREAMS...THEY THROW YOUR MUSICAL EQUIPMENT..OUT THE DOOR SMASHING STUFF ON THE SIDE WALK...AS YOUR LOADING YOUR CAR FOR BAND REHEARSAL....= Violent insane control freak woman....solution... Is to call 911...and tell the cops to come immediately to "escort you out with out having your valuable possessions destroyed..etc.... ..
The person I thought I was marrying was affectionate, emotionally attentive and very sexual. All those things were withheld and controlled for 17 years. I spend all those years trying to ‘fix’ the relationship. When I finally was ready to end it the Narc became a Nymphomanic that was so attentive and interested in me again. The Narc used guilt and shame and flying monkeys to get me to stay- leaving was the best decision I ever made
I'm a little concerned because the nympho finally showed up again after 10 years when I am ready to divorce. I don't know if she is a narc, she signed the post-nup agreement without much issue. My only concern is that a post-nup changes nothing. But time will reveal her soon enough.
This is a great explanation of how hard it is to leave a female narcissist. It is a terrible situation to be in, but nearly impossible to escape because of the addiction. Unless you have experienced it, it is difficult to understand. This is so good I will watch again, thanks for posting.
Missing from this discussion is something called "trauma bonding". I strongly suggest anyone watching this video research this and understand what it is. In a nutshell one becomes addicted to one's abuser, and that is why a trauma bonded person, regardless of gender, returns to an abusive partner.
I left my ex gf because she is a narcissist. I saw the signs, endured the mental abuse and anguish, and got tired of it. She went to a cottage to have a "me" weekend under very suspicious circumstances, I moved out completely while she was away. When she returned and saw that I did indeed left, she was "devastated".. only until there was a strange truck in the drive way a day later. Hardest thing I ever did, but the best thing I ever did.
It was a week for mine. It’s not even been 2 weeks since I had enough and let her go. And she’s already with someone else. It hurts but I’m so glad I’m out. Got to get back to living life on my terms and chasing my dreams. I’m with you bro.
@@j.l.m.6954 She was a childhood crush of mine. There is so much that she went through that made her the way she is that I am sure a book could be written. I feel for her at times as she has survived childhood sexual abuse, but her narcissism was her front. I did tell her that she really needed to seek therapy. I believe that she did... I haven't spoken to her since, but it was a very tough two years or more in dealing with her, then the loss after. Now, I know the signs, the backstories, the psychologies that can contribute etc. I do have to say thought that, if she got the help to bring her life back to some sort of normalcy, then the pain and sadness of the two years was not in vain.
@@nuthinfayce funny...it was the same thing she was abused as a child and young teen. I wonder if that plays a large role in their development into manipulators. But the amount of lies I was told I don’t know what to believe. She said she would seek therapy too which I encouraged and was willing to pay for but she wouldn’t go. We just have to keep moving forward and do the next right thing in our lives. It hurts it sucks and i don’t know if I’ll ever be over it but I’m going to keep pushing forward. Well that’s right this second...I may be in a ball crying tonight we shall see. Sometimes I really hate being empathetic and always believe the best about people. But it’s how I’m made. Lol. INFJ for life. 👌
She tried to pretend how much she cared but her vanity always got the better of her, she was a head turner, and she definitely knew it. I finally escaped but she chased me for 6 years before she gave up. She couldn't get over the fact that for the first time in her life a man had turned her down. I actually stayed single for 8 years after the narcissist abuse I recieved.
Ya that has been the biggest pill to swallow, she never loved me and I'm finding it easier every day to move on from this sick lie and that sick person.
the mean and sweet cycle is so confusing. just remember, a person who is mean alot is toxic. love should not be painful. a regular person who is having a rough day would not take it out on a loved one. if your spouse is gone alot and doesn't tell you where they are, that is the silent treatment. silent treatment is highly damaging. i wish someone had told me that. narcissists are just impossible. there are many many nice people in the world. find real love. we deserve happiness. thanks to michelle.
I agree with you. My ex did silent treatment by turning his phone off or going out and turning it off so I was worried. I just wanted to say I use to leave sometimes to clear my head after years of his lies and abuse.(cheating) After much needed therapy I now know I have cptsd and that's a sign- fight or flight. I was almost convicted I was a narcissist and he was this great guy. They definitely make you lose your reality and mind.
Your soul dies due to the whole ecosystem of narcissism. I had no idea over the course of 1 year that I wasn't even me. The decline is at the molecular level, change is imperceptible. What we think are comprises that people in a relationship do, it is actually an infectious mind virus. first 10 days after ghosting her, I felt great! so happy! Doing the long list of "chores" I had put off. BUT THEN!!!! Day 11. I discovered this this thing called codependent and narcissism. Figure out the exact twisted scenario, me, gf, her narcy bestie male friend. He was like part of our relationship due to his rude behavior and her refusal to address it. I had to address it. Told him he's an ass and never contract me again. 2 days later, gf got the same text. They don't deserve a phone all or in person visit. Sick people. NB : Day 11 and 12 I was super fkn angry and cursed their name aloud to the universe for what seemed hours. What an insidious disease of the mind.
Excellent. 8 years and she is never happy. I have been cheated on 2 times. I have lost everything. She's made sure I am to broke to leave. I am in AA. 20 years. I went back for the help. It worked. This is an addiction. I got a simple job in retirement and it clicked. I am soon to leave. To make matters worse. Her adult daughter is a bad Narc. Has conned men for a couple million. One still pays while she screams at him! I feel better. The fear of starting over is gone. I will be ok.
I struggle with thinking I’m the narcissist. We split months ago but still talked everyday. She said I changed and wasn’t the person she met. I wonder why. Trying to appease someone all the time out of fear of angering them or setting them off changes you. I wasn’t allowed to make jokes anymore or else I was “immature”
My x-wife is a female narcissist. We were married for 5 years but were in contact a lot for 15 years because we had a child together. It was like being in a movie. A scary drama movie that would scare the crap out of anyone that watched it. Looking back on it, I truly wish I'd seen this video 25 years ago. My son and family were the ones that freed me from her spell by telling me it was either her or them if I din't completely have nothing to do with her. She was the only woman I have ever loved and one of the cruelest people I've ever known. So basically I'm a mess now. Still trying to put my life together. Thank you for this content Michelle you are a great help in making sense of what happened to me.
I always compare this feeling of not wanting to leave like that feeling you get when you're putting money into an arcade machine. You daren't leave, because you think that the moment you turn around, that will be the moment that it will hit the jackpot and pay out. So you stay, lured by the flashing lights and the promise of big prizes, and you keep putting your money into it, until you've lost everything.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
Dated this chick for about 5 months. Was crazy and seemed to have strong OPD and NPD tendencies. To the point where it scared the crap out of me. I dumped her twice during that period. She became obsessed, couldn’t get rid of her.
my wife will not stop lies until I cry .and when I cry she tells me to leave into the street I nonstop tell her I am sick And disabled and she Roll her eyes and laughs and calls me a liar and mocks me out loud when when I pray .i love Jesus but I have no human I can reach out to
Two years alone and out of that insanity. I had 10 years with a borderline only to get together with the next one, a covert narcissist. I know i will meet someone someday and it will be real. I value this moment tight now. Thank you for your channel
when a person is never happy no matter what you do, its a technique to enslave you to endlessly keep trying and failing. supply and demand, its a toxic relationship.
“The narcissist loves you most when you have one foot out the door.” Holy crap, this hit too close to home. I have been in a nine year, emotionally abusive relationship. It took me too long to realize I had set myself on fire to keep her warm, despite friends and family telling me I was on fire. Once I realized it, I let the fire burn for another two years hoping she might change. Now I have one foot out the door, and she is love bombing with a vengeance. Nope. No more. I deserve better, and so do you.
@@ThePonyd leaving that relationship was the hardest thing I have ever done. It took me over a year to truly feel like "me" again. Our breakup was drawn out because of pandemic lockdowns. During the weeks, months, and year after I made that comment, she became violent, she stalked me, and she harassed me. It was intense. The summer of 2020 was the most stressed I have ever been in my life. Paranoia, panic attacks and drinking were the themes. I didn't have the courage to get law enforcement involved, but looking back, I wish I did. I didn't feel safe. Therapy saved me. If anyone is on the fence about trying out BetterHelp, just DO IT. My therapist saved me. There were so many times I considered getting back together with my ex just to stop the barrage of physical and emotional violence--but in the back of my head, I kept telling myself "things will get better. You can be happier." I felt like I was in Hell, but friends, family, therapy, and a little optimism pulled me out. Thankfully, the situation calmed down significantly in late 2020. I grew stronger. I distinctly remember a moment where it felt like my head was finally above the clouds, and I could see everything clearly. I have not seen her in about two and a half years. We are civil at best. Now, years later -- I am the happiest I have ever been, and I am in a beautiful relationship with my childhood crush, the one who got away. It is so surreal. The pain of that breakup in 2020 was worth it. Absolutely worth it.
@@RandyMarsh609 that's a great update man and I'm glad to hear it. I have found one of the massive positives from being in a narcissistic relationship is learning how many people suffer this too. I am 6 weeks out a 4 year one, and she's currently trying to hoover me back in. Trying to resist is definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I recently discarded a female malignant narcissist after being together 18 years, No contact is vital to your healing. Life was hell with her but after you learn more about their mental disorder and get over the shock of your relationship being all a lie and you learn more about yourself, you will see that it was not your fault but you must learn why you even got involved in the first place and when you learn that, you will see your life improve greatly. these woman are damaged beyond repair and just know that her new supply will suffer the same fate and this cycle will repeat itself with all supplies that follow. Karma or the idea of Karma for her is in fact her own life, she suffers daily because of her own doings, she is a lost soul living in misery, but this is not your problem any longer. I know the hardest thing to accept is that she really never loved you and believe me once you learn more about narcissism that anger of being lied to for so long will eventually disappear. just know that going forward you will now be better educated to see the red flags sooner if and when you find someone new in your life, you will learn to trust again in time but your eyes will be open now. do not beat yourself up over this, knowledge is power. Good luck in your recovery gentlemen.
Thank you for your comment. I could relate completely. I feel great and alive again. No more verbal abuse for no reason, no more cheating and lies, no more having her do everything for me, then called every name in the book. I’m 100% free and she’s love bombing me constantly. I feel sorry for her and what she’s going through mentally but I honestly cant live like that anymore. My friend and family keep telling me to go back and fix things (she cheated) but they don’t know everything else that comes alone with being with a narc.
I finally got rid of my GF .She said she was visiting her Mom for the evening but left her Moms a hour after she got there.Caught her cheating.I text her it's over .She tried to lie she went to see a GF .I new what was going on.She tried to lie her way out of it .Well good luck to the new guy.Hes in for a good ride.Thanks John from Ottawa.Canada
John Marochko please tell me you did NOT take her back. I did and man have I paid for it. Now a year later I hope you have moved on and are in a healthy relationship.
Seriously...write a list side by side...pros and cons and do it honestly. ..I got 1 pro and like 15 cons ...I havent gone total no.contact. she's in our apartment...i split...got most of the important things ..to. make matters worse she is trying to blackmail me via txt. I'm staying the fuck away from this nut
I had to play detective as her stories about where she was were ringing not true. I found out after going to her work and going on Facebook just how twisted and a liar she is. It was a lot easier than I imagined as she really was pathetic!
So many of us wasted years. I did 31, but she didnt really cycle/discard final until about 6 years ago. I believe she has BPD with strong Narc tendencies. I have attempted to address needs and boundaries, she would change the conversation. I wrote a letter stating things clearly. Now it is the silent treatment. Unfortunately I am stuck for another 18 months till this is over.
Knowing that when someone refuses to allow you to make them happy, this is a form of narcissism, is a game changer and I appreciate this so greatly. It is part of a issue I’ve always allowed myself to become gaslight over.
Wow, when you shared your personal experience I could see and hear the hurt that you went through. 😔 I thank you for making this video, videos like these help strengthen my conviction that she was narcissistic and I’m a good person. I will focus on my hobbies and friends to help me through this time
I dated my wife for 3 years and she would start fight with me every few months over stupid things . throw me out for few weeks then want me back . I didn't know she was sleeping with other men I really thought she was upset . we got married and have been for 4 years and still every few months same thing . I found out she was sleeping with a lot of men and all my friends and when I question her she admired to sleeping with them . and couldn't understand why I was mad she said we wasn't together at the time . when I ask why she sleep with my friends her answer was I wanted her to because I has them come over to our house .
Thinking my now ex was the exact replica. She always spent hours in front of that mirror. She always went missing for hours. They love the free everything.
Ok I have not heard another person talk about this. This is helpful for us men. I’m trying so hard. I get my dream job as a Crtical Care Parsmedic she lost her mind. I started making more money, I wanted to take more responsibility. This all went crazy.
I'm glad I found your channel, I've been married 35 years, I made a mistake with my wife and was sorry for what I did, we talked about it and agreed we would move on. I never again repeated my behavior. 10 years after our agreement she began sharing the situation with others, its costed me several jobs, and I have to watch my back constantly.
I have been living this for 6 years of an on/off again relationship. I am planning my exit now though it seems extremely difficult to leave. I am much stronger now. Thank you for all of your videos. Spot on!
Mose Mathis good luck in your departure. Hope you’ve managed to stay away and really started to care for yourself more. Get comfortable with being alone. Good luck bro.
I left a narcissist abusive wife after 22 years of marriage. I could never please the bitch. Thanks to a corrupt court system and a sick church, I lost everything including our children. But now I have myself again. I am doing the things I want and have healthy relationships with people that love who I am. My advice if anyone cares is the sooner you get out of a toxic relationship the better. The longer you waste time trying to please a narcissist, the more you will lose.
one question....Where do these people learn to behave or act exactly the same way right to the T...is there a website or something??? I know its a pathological deficiency that they all have, but boy....this act of being nice on part whilst being non-compromising on other areas can really mess ones head up. If someone will persistently refuse your request that they never do your laundry..never cook cook for you...but they continue with the silent treatment, no affection, no planning for the future...but still act like they are fulfilling their role in every sphere...choosing where they like to be part of you and shunning you in everything else...these people are evil. You can never say you know about evil before meeting a Narc...NEVER!!!
Its demon possession, they are demoniacs, so you basically do not engage with a human but an unclean spirit (a demon), they were abused or traumatized sometimes in the childhood, which opened the door to a demon to enter them, or have just been children of these narc demoniacs, so in this case its generational.
+Mxolisi Mahlangu They all behave the same way because they are possessed by demons. I am not kidding when I say that. My ex-wife was chinese, and she acts the same as all these other narcs, too. These demon spirits are operating all over the world. It's the same spirit that satan has. It is a spirit that mocks God; and seeks to usurp his authority in the world.
+Bojana Kocijan Demons can also come into people because of family curses. The Bible says that families are cursed for several generations. Therefore, it is very important to know a person's background before you get involved with them. My chinese ex-wife, for example, had a father who gambled and drank liquor. Also, their family business is handling the Buddhist ceremonies for people, when they die. With that kind of background, you can only imagine what kind of demons have entered her family over the generations. I can also imagine that on several occasions her father must have made deals with demonic powers in order to pay gambling debts.
Finally after 4 years I mustered up courage to leave someone so toxic. Its been only a week but even though I feel completely lost I keep telling myself she wasn't worth it. She always made me feel like anything I said or did for her was never good enough and I started to believe I was a failure. My fear is that she will suck me back into her game.
My sister is a narcissist and I listened to her for years degrade my brother in law in front of everyone. She's busted up his big screen, bleached his clothes, cut him with a knife and they both got arrested and my niece got sent to foster care. Shes a nightmare as a family member. My mom had to raise my niece. Her husband finally left her. Just packed up and left one day. I was so happy for him. But, now the nightmare of him trying to see his kids is the big problem. I hope he doesn't give up.
My ex showed me this as an "example of how I am the narcissist" in the relationship. Several years ago, for my 50th birthday, she asked me not to have my kids over, because for once, she was going to sit down, have dinner, and spend some time with me. I asked my kids not to come, and when I got home from work, the house was empty. I waited for 2 hours and finally texted and asked if we were doing anything or not. I got no response. Finally, half an hour before I went to bed, she walked in the house with her sisters, they had decided to go out to dinner that afternoon. I told her, calmly, but with tears in my eyes, that I was hurt that she would do that to me on my birthday. She then told me her sisters, whom she regularly had dinner with, were more important than me. And that my tears were just emotional blackmail. I filed for divorce 3 years later.
22 yrs of my life was wasted ,and finally i've been free for 2 months. Before i left i was throwning up every day to the point of thinking i had cancer ,I was 1wk gone when the vomiting stopped and i havent been sick since ....I was lucky I think because the good Lord let me see what was happening to me I almost died because i was so miserable and every thing I ever loved was gone out of my life friends ,hobbies,and especially playing guitar....i weigh 150 down from 200 and still havent started eating well ...I am trying ..I was hurt and disabled 8 yrs ago when i wasnt able to bring in as much money thats when i noticed the crap started in earnest .then I had a stroke 3 yrs ago and fought like hell to overcome and i did. It was hard on me and i never had any support from her and she tells her friends I am a jerk for not helping her with everything even right after i got home from the hospital .....i hadnt even been home for 24 hrs when the ....be my maid started. Get up and do something....while i was just trying to walk again......i made a full recovery from the stroke....i wonder if my health will recover from this person. I am still so weak physically from the ups and downs with this person. And she comes off as nothing wrong with her its all my fault......I dont know maybe it was me???? Maybe I should have paid more attention.... just hope i live through this.... My health has so gone down hill ...I hope I can survive and its not too late for me to start gaining weight and get healthy??? I don't know???? Where were you 15 yrs ago Michelle ??? it could have saved me years of my life ... I am so thankful for you doing these videos Michelle and whoever mistreated you was a complete IDIOT. Thanks Michelle for your dedication and help...🌷😘🌈✌
I told her; «listen, we need to talk. There’s to much drama for me in our relationship». She said; «yes, you have to change because I never create drama. You’re the one asking all those crazy questions, and that’s where the drama comes from». I was lying in bed looking at her face feeling romantic. She turnes to me and smiles a confused smile and says «you really love me dont you?» Me; «of course I do», waiting (in vain) for her to respond «I love you to». But instead I got a mocking laugh. Every time. She used sex to controll me. She came straight from her other supplier to have sex with me. The same day! Again and again. We were looking at old photos of me one day, and suddenly she picks one out and points to my eyes; «look at those eyes, you look really cocky and self absorbed there». I’m like; «uh, really?» scanning my brain to try and understand what she meant, feeling confused and hurt. The one time I broke up with her, I looked out the window as she was walking down my street, taking her phone out to make a call, laughing and smiling. That was her other supplier I later learned. The day she finally left for good, one hand on the door knob, telling me what a looser I was, her last words were; «I never loved you you know» smiling the most evil smile I have ever seen. Narcs give them self away all the time though. Because she left me 15 times over the coarse of 3 years we had plenty of make-up talks. And thats allways when she admitted she could be toxic, telling me that up to the point she met me, she has allways had to have at least two men on the backburner. But I had changed all that for her. Yeah right. When I called her out on her infidelity, she finally admitted, and even made up a couple of stories about men, just to «see how I reacted» she later told me. The crazyness goes on and on. I could write a book about it. I am an empath, and so many times have I scanned her energy field. When I looked at her heart, I always got an image in my head of an empty hole in place where the heart should be. Zero heart energy. Three years gone, I ran into her the other day, smiling that good ol’ submissive schoolgirl smile of hers that used to get me hooked. I smiled politely, said hi, and went on my merry way. I could feel her rage in my back as I moved away. They will NEVER change. Ever. Get out, get gone and stay gone. Unfriend from social media, delete contact information, let work and your children (if you have) be your sole focus. Erase her from your mind, so you may love again. Forgive yourself AND forgive her (for your own healing). And accept that the scar she left will never go away. Move towards the light. They shun the light.
A mother , two exwives , all narrcistist, 7yrs with first , 30yrs. with second! Taken ten years to begin life anew. But all things are possible in solitude ! Lost so much but I gained myself , freedom and sanity ! At 69 1/2 yrs old I fully aware that the best is yet to come ! Death has become a comfrontable friend , after what I've experienced the grave holds no surprises. Finally life and living is a joy !
What you do is amazing. Thank you for these great videos. I’ve been stuck with a narcissist for 7 months now. I never understood how big of an issue narcissism is until I experienced it myself. I don’t wish this on anyone. You nailed all of the details in this. Thank you!
When I started caring about my future around when I was 17 yrs old I started waking up at 5 in the morning. My mom got raging mad at this because I was waking her up and her life was already hard enough having to leave for work at 9. Understandable right? The thing was my room was in the attic with two floors in between but that still woke her up.......... my mother also always never let me do anything. But I have a strong will though, so as I grew up I started taking responsibilities. And started to really rebel against the idea of female superiority as that was her angle. Now that I've seen these videos it really made me less hostile toward women because I believed all women were narcissists and this was their natural mode.
Your videos are a hard one to face! The truth and reality of the last 18 years I've been exposed to with a Narcissistic Girl who has utterly almost destroyed me emotionally, spiritually, and physically! I'm Soo sad... Thanks for your videos and help with the reality of it all! It's going to take a long long time for me to move on and trust again, but ultimately there's HOPE!!
I was married to one for 11 years and those 11 years were pure hell. I couldn't do anything right! She mercifully put an end to my misery by finally trading me in for another richer, more successful guy. At the same time she beautifully painted herself to her feminist lawyer and Court as the emotionally abused housewife. Judge ignored her infidelity and awarded her kids, house, half my military pension, half of existing company pension, and $3500/mth in child and spousal support. Just prior the rich dude saw her for what she truly was and ran. She tried coming back to me and when I refused, withheld the kids and resorted to financial extortion. Folks, in my opinion there is nothing on earth more lethally dangerous than a female narcissist bent on self justified BS revenge. I later learned that she had cheated on me multiple times. It is a real eye opener to realize that for 11 years I lived with someone who never loved me but rather, simply used me for my money. I don't know who or what creates such monsters.
Stay strong friend, you´re not alone in your suffering, many of us are going through similar things and deeply understand what it takes just to get up in the morning after this kind of experience.
Thank you, same to you. I have done a ton of outside reading/research on this topic as I wanted to gain an understanding of exactly what I was dealing with. I suppose I wanted to know how and why I was so duped! This human capacity to use and abuse fellow human beings is a subject area that is fascinating to me. These types of people for the most part, seem to thrive in and among us. They are co-workers and people who live within the law however they can operate under the radar to absolutely destroy people. Where does this come from? I've actually come across some research from Psychologists who after talking with victims claim "such people liken the experience to that of witnessing a demonic possession." This is the actual closest analogy some can make about it. I never really bought into all that possession of the soul stuff before but now "holy shit" I am not sure? Feminine Narcissism has exploded all across Europe and the U.S/Australia. This is a fact but what is causing it? I am theorizing and spit-balling here but my best guess is that it may largely be attributed to the equally explosive rise in entitled feminism!
You´re right on the money here. The mindset of the modern westernized woman has degenerated to such an extreme that it is downright tiresome (even dangerous) to deal with them. There is an underlying hostility, a conflictive posture ready to antagonize anything and everything that a man may do or say, no matter how reasonable or selfess our intentions may be. Its like they´ve lost all sense of cooperation and mutual respect for us, they have given in to their basest desires and corrupted the natural beauty of the feminine spirit. If there is hope for change, it lies among the women themselves. If they don´t dig themselves out of this one, all is lost.
Couldn't agree more. The ranks of women haters among men swells everyday. It is very alarming! Seeing and reading it is obvious but also, one can just feel it! I've never before seen such backlash. Look at the stuff out there on how low the marriage rates are! Women are now actually complaining about the fact we will no longer marry them. Guys are posting everywhere about how the Family Courts enable feminine entitlement and men get absolutely screwed. Odd as it may be, the Courts have headed themselves in a direction where they may one day be out of business. Young male professionals today are far more "keenly" aware of the dangers of feminine narcissism and how they could be victimized by such women and the Family Courts. Educating our gender about this growing issue is paramount. I don't ever want to see what happened to me, happen to anyone else.
Same here, I won´t hold back if marriage comes up in conversation. The problem is women go into attack mode for any kind of criticism and "friendly women" seem unable to side with a man no matter how awfully another woman has treated him. I have problems with my sister and mother about just this, if you can believe it. Anyway, from the moment I accidentally discovered narcissism on youtube, I am seeing female narcissists everywhere.
I heard from her many times things as "i'm being childish,bad behaviour etc" and so many times when she said those words to me, i was thinking... how come i feel exactly this about you? They use their own weakness and put the blame on us.
You loose your self and mold yourself into something you think the narcissist wants.. but it is never enough one day you realize how far you have come from what you once were. Do not share your inner thoughts, your friends and most of all your hopes & goals with this person. Try to find a way out if you can. Remember nothing in the relationship is real, it's all there to keep you as a source of supply.
Maybe Empaths should have a T-shirt with... ."I MAY BE AN EMPATH....but i'm not STUPID!....and now that i know stuff, i intend on kicking some serious ass, so BEWARE!"written on it.
I have lived 6 years, 2 of those was the greatest time of my life. The last 4, I have been mentally degraded. I love her and my daughter, and my step children very much. But now I'm in motel for the second time in 3 years because she asked me to leave. It started with family issues that most couples work on together. Then it became bad communication. Here at the end she had gathered up alot of petty things and makes them sound extremely bad. I have been on my hands and knees, in tears begging to work on things. It all starts with things she said she just can't understand that I do. To sum it up, it has became all my fault and my whole family has disowned me.? My mental stated is damaged. I've been to counseling. But I'm still standing in the middle of a desert. Totally lost
Great guidance for guys who cannot see how far they've drifted from who they were. A wake-up call for you all to assert yourself as the true person you are. She's very good!
I just walked away no visits, no calls or anything. I really feel free, six months later, best decision I’ve ever made. It’s not worth staying in a horrible relationship.
Magnificent question and about time they though they become so damaged by the other relationship a, until they become to ruined for someone Good to come into their Life
Because everybody on this planet was once bitten by Evil. The relationship with evil narcs creates patterns that we search unconsciously on another narc.
Female narcissist are supposed to do everything for you? Not the two I’ve stumbled over. I wound up doing all of the “man work” and all of the “woman work”. They said I was completely incompetent without close supervision of course, but that’s all they ever did. Thanks for sharing this.
My narcissist would rip up my books. My narcissist never let me do anything with anybody. When she found out I was trying to leave she discard me and had another man move into my house. Now I'm a weak and broken man.
I'm a trucker who was away from home 12 out of every 15 days. My narcissistic wife had the perfect set-up to execute her schemes and plenty of time to cover her tracks. And because of my job it also made me reliant upon her to keep me rolling. But I always felt her attitude about her support was that things she did for me was just another chore. She didn't do these things with genuine concern for my well-being out on the road. Nothing she did was done with a "glad heart". Now I realize that what she did was simply a "means to an end" to keep me out of the house for prolonged periods of time.
IM MERRIED WITH A NARCISSIST FOR 30 YEARS THIS WOMAN HAS BEEN TORMENTING ME FOR 30 YEARS I DIDNT WANT TO DEVORCE HER BEACUSE I CAME FROM A BROKEN FAMILY AND I DONT WANT MY KIDS TO HAVE A BROKEN FAMILY MY WIFE TELLS ME HOW TO EAT MY FOOD WHAT CLOTHS I SHOULD WEAR WHAT SHOULD I BUY ON MY OWN MONEY AND WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY OWN MONEY WHAT SHOES IS GOOD FOR ME WHAT KIND OF HAIRCUT AND I SHOULD COLOR MY HAIR ALSO IWHEN I WAS 17 YEARS OLD I DID LAY AWAY SOME SERIUS JEWELY AND NOW THAT IM ON MY 50"S SHES TELLING ME THAT I WASNT WEARING MY JEWELRY WORTH $ 9.000 ALL OF THEM SHE BORROWED IT SO SHE CAN PAWN IT FOR HER CASINO HOBBIE AND UNTIL NOW I HAVENT GET IT BACK PLUS THE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS THAT SHE BORROWED FROM CASH AND NOW THAT HER CAR IS BROKEN SHE TOOK OVER ON MY PICK UP TRUCK THAT I SPEND MONEY TO PUT IT IN A GOOD CONDITION . AND EVERYTIME I ASK HER TO GIVE IT BACK TO ME OR WHEN IS SHE GOING TO GIVE IT BACK TO ME SHES STARTING A FIGHT LIKE SHE FLAMES ME ABOUT HER BEING BROKE SHES ALSO BLAMING ME BEACUSE WHEN SHE WAS GAMBLING SHE WAS WINNING BUT WHEN I ARRIVE SHE LOSE BUT THE MONEY SHES USING IS MINE ALL HER MONEY IS JUST FOR HER SELF BUT WHEN SHES BROKE SHES NICE TO ME AVERYTHING THATS HAPPENING TO HER THAT DOESNT GO ON HER WAY ITS MY FAULT SHE NEVER BEEN WRONG . MY ADVICE TO PEOPLE THATS ON A EARLY STAGE OF MARRIGE WHEN YOU NOTICE SOMETHING LIKE MISS MICHELE LEE WAS SAYING YOU SHOULD LEAVE AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND DONT WAIT FOR YOU TO HAVE KIDS ON THAT PERSON
It is amazing what we can tell ourselves is normal. Accepting somebody telling you that you are not allowed to read is so far outside of right, good, or normal, but under the narc abuse spell is perfectly normal.
WWOWW!!!! This is almost exactly what I was going through with my ex!! The insults, the gaslighting and devaluation. I asked her about 7 years ago "what is my purpose in this relationship?". Never got a response but leaving was the best thing I've that I've done to break the cycle.
Oh my god... my exwife used to constantly harass me for reading, she'd throw away my books and say I would read cause I didn't know how to socialize. I used to hide books in my truck. Thank you once again for the work you do and saving countless people including myself.
Wow! My story! Thanks for sharing. I got so entangled for years. Tried to break free many times. She would create a lot of drama, ignore me, insult me, twist what I say and so on. The silent treatments was horrible. The cycle of abuse was constant. The gaslighting and smear campaigns was brutal; then my would switch to nice mode suddenly, and I would be drawn back in every time. I got lost for years. I still wish I would have came across your channel years ago. I’m finally getting free now. I see clearly finally. Took a while. I was in a nightmare for 30 years. Thanks for presenting this information on a routine basis. You are helping me to find myself. I got so lost. It blew my mind when my co-worker asked me “What did I like to do?”. I could not answer the question. All I could do was stare at him with bewilderment. I realized I was “broken” and “clueless” as a result of being in a toxic relationship for most of my adult life.....oooouuuch!!!!! NPD abuse is destructive.
Yesterday, she told me that she would stalk and kill me if i left her because she couldn't bear the fact that i'd be happy without her if i walked away. I'm not seeing this relationship going anywhere.
The fact that a narc would rather see you unhappy with them rather than be happy without you is a very seldom touched upon point. It really speaks to how sick and demented the narc is in how they dehumanize their prey.
I can't escape! I feel there is absolutely no hope. There are too many "hooks" and i have done everything i can. I get accused of "not having any emotions or love. Well when it has bees tormented out of me what is left? I feel like an empty shell. Trying to escape and rebuild in this economy seems like an impossible task. What is the answer?
Michele- You have a deep understanding of this pain and a beautiful manner of sharing your expertise with us. Your videos are so helpful and I appreciate your gift! Thank you for sharing you with us....
Wow... I just realized my wife is a narcissist😱😱 Not only does she hurt me, and try to make me feel guilty about things I have no control over, but she always wants to be so loving to me when I tell her I don't think she is good for me. On top of that, every single characteristic you mentioned in this video as being narcissistic is me wife to a "T." I can't believe I've gotten with another narcissist after so many years of watching yours and Kim Saeed's videos, especially after I was so torn up over my last marriage with my ex-narcissist wife. ☹️☹️ What is wrong with me?! I don't even know what to do now...
Wow I was looking all over for your channel finally found it. Glad your videos are still up. 2-3 years down the road I'm looking into things again, I thought things would get better she always reels me back in & I'd almost swear her narcicism is less than that of most but still I've got to get out of this I'm sure it's not only wasted a lot of my life but I think it has also reduced my lifespan as well. She did something that was over the line again so this is pretty much either her 5th or 8th chance, so I'm definitely sure at this point that her changing is not on the table.
Thanks for your nice video. I wish i knew this kind of personality years ago. 20 years of my life ruined living with such a monster. I suffered every second that can not be explained. You make people know and stop relationship with these demons fron the first stage.
I am married to someone with narcissistic tendencies. 9 years of emotional and physical neglect, and neglects her own care, and blames it all on me as if I’m the issue. I’ve done the vast majority of the relationship work, communication, social event planning/attending. I’m leaving because I can’t handle it anymore. And when I said that I don’t want to work on her and I, the light switch happened and I became the source of every single relationship problem. To the point where “any issues I had with her, was just a projection “ Im emotionally done, and I need to leave because I feel I’ve sacrificed the life and career I had for her.
I just discovered your channel today, have watched maybe six episodes and this one explains my situation exactly. I left sixteen months ago and our settlement conference is Friday and soon the divorce will be final. We went to counseling last year, I privately brought up what I thought was narcissistic behavior of my wife to the counselor and said, no I don't think so. I brought it up again with my own therapist that I've been seeing for a year and she said the same thing. Nope. But after watching your channel today, it's been twenty years of the exact behavior you describe, having gotten progressively worse over the years, I finally left. Then and only then did she all of a sudden become nice. She's not nice now and has no desire to see a therapist herself because of course, she thinks she's fine and I'm the one with the problem and needs to change. I'm 63 and she's 59, I retired and I'm really looking forward to the next happy chapters of my life. Thanks again so much for your incredible videos.
Just served mine papers and she can’t come back into the house . So the ex she told me to forget out she went back to him . This guy is a worse narcissst than her
Brilliant, again. In my case, I was already handling the bills, the children, and so much else that, when she left, I found I didn’t really have a significantly greater workload. What hurt me most, in terms of my loss of time and energy, was the litigation she initiated two months after the divorce was finalized. To this day, some fifteen months later, the litigation continues. Mercifully, I still have custody of the children of the marriage.
After 5 years of on again off again and the implosion of ‘our’ engagement, when she threw me out for the final time, she got mad at how quickly I moved out after her demanding I get out immediately. ‘I thought you might take a couple of days’ she said in disappointment...
Yes my ex was like that hated it if im happy still does, she can't find anyone else who will put up with her horrible behaviour, im trying too not feel sorry for her, because she's not changed in 5 years ago we split up, im back no contact because. I remember that it's impossible too make it work we have 4 kids together 😢
Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve really benefited from listening to your videos. Regret I didn’t discover your work sooner and figure out what I was dealing with before we got married. I thought marrying her would help her be more secure and therefore contented because insecurity was what she said was the fundamental problem with her constantly acting out and accusing me so viciously of doing things I didn’t do and often times for things she could easily prove were not true. I now know these vicious accusations were part of the abusive psychological techniques used to manipulate and control me. She actually even knowingly made up things (I later learned) just to then beat me down over. So this time I’ve been away longer than anytime before and we are moving toward divorce. I’ve actually gone no contact. I still very much miss the mirage version of her. I can’t even begin to tell how incredible that version of her is. Early on in the relationship I would say to some of my closest friends that the adoration, sex, affirmation, encouragement and near worship was so fantastic it was nearly embarrassing to admit. And that version of her would circle back when I’d walk. But AFTER we got married her acting out got worse. The deception constant. The tension of worry over triggering her ever present. And while the love bombing was still there it was nothing compared to the first 2 years of dating. I just couldn’t trust her. I never knew what she might do next. What she might be setting me up for etc. So it’s been crazy. And I won’t go on any further about all that. Classic BPD with strong Narcissistic and Histrionic traits. Go slow people. Please know that if it’s too good to be true it probably isn’t true. Despite how amazing it was there were signs really within the first month. And those signs piled up to now looking back on it, should have been and really were clear to me 4 months in. But by then I was so captivated by and truly addicted to the amazing version of her. I thought with my love patience forgiving tolerant nature I could navigate it. YOU CAN’T! I was wrong and it’s cost me 5 years of my life and literally a few hundred thousands so far.
Tim I know your post is a year old, but still relevant today. Especially the “in the beginning of the relationship” part. I’m just now going through the loss of what I had with my ex-N, and our wonderful times spent together, and am currently reeling in my emotions over it all. I’ll be ok, but not before I heal completely. Hope you’re doing much better by now.
It's very difficult to be in a relationship with the narcissist. sometimes it feels like I'm in prison, God help me, can't take this anymore. My wife is making my life a leaving hell.
So you are dead on. My wife soon to be EX started having issues when I wanted doing more stuff for myself. I told her how it is. I forgot she took that offensively.
11:40 man that hit home so hard! I had experienced the same thing, my elder brother was making fun of, humiliating and discriminating me about everything, (And I have to admit, It's so so so hard to comprehend because they are smiling. They are not a bully type that is all grumpy. A person who puts a happy face really distorts your receptors and the ability to react and define what's happening.) and one thing was that I was reading a book at the balcony. That's it. When I was unaware of the situation I was wondering how come a reading a book can be mocked? But then you understand, the incidents are not important. Only thing is killing the joy no matter how. Whatever I had the glimpse of joy, it had been killed right away. And I was thinking it's coincidence yet when you examine, you see that these are the every single times that I can be seperated and had a seperate identity and interests and unique -uninterrupted- connection with the world around me. But no. I raised in an environment where I only have the playground as far and wide as my brother wanted to lazily step. Now I'm trying to extend my horizon and re-joy the things I uniqeuly like which hopefully lead me to space I should have been for 30 years. plus: I had a 5-year-long relationship with a covert narc which ended more than 1 year ago, maybe 2. Still working on to get rid of the impact and gather myself and my masculinity back. I totally believed to be a loser whereas I was a hard worker and an achiever before the relationship. Lİke Michele's brother. All I am fighting for is "never again"; I have gone and going as deep as I can to cleanse and restore everything distorted; and it is dirty. It is really dirty to be suspended and forced to play a role which is strictly aiming to perishment of me that is going deep in my childhood, my mother and my relentless sister.
Terrific message A+ that's is exactly what happened to me after 19 years, leaving twice and finally divorcing her, now it is all clear, you have found the words that explained what I was feeling and I meet her at church and thought she had Christian values, in the end I was struggling to breath.
Good for you leaving and don’t ever look back I’ve dealt with a few narcissistic people in my life they are cold and extremely manipulative and will never change.
When you discard them. Don't check what's happening to them on any social media. Resist that temptation because if you do what you see will hurt you. Just breath
Ill bet!! Im in the process now.
I did it. Broke me. Never do this. It’s gonna punch you back to start...or worse. Way worse.
@@julianstier3821 Thats why I dont do it. Hang in there brother!
@@markg2307
... no... It is xxx ...+ 🟥
😂😂😂
Usually ... trying to proofe to the World that She is
So GREAT Persona ...
(* means=LOOKING Great )
, ... and soooo Desireabl ... 🦞 )
Of course ...
... Stuff that you know about their behaviour and character
... IS NOT ON DISPLAY !!!
... -For sure !!! ) 🙃🙃🙃😂😂😂🤪 😁😬🤐🥳😽👹👺 ...
I'm following..getting better ✌️
I filed for divorce 5 days ago. My narcissist wife has tormented me for almost 9 years. My 7 year old son is having emotional problems; and I have to save him. I finally realized that I have to save ME, in order to save my Son. I am FINISHED being her crash test dummy. Right now, she knows she pushed me to my limit; and she is 4 days into "love bombing" with fresh iced tea, clean dishes, etcetera. When she gets served with divorce papers in a few days, the demon inside her will emerge with fury and rage beyond imagination. Wish me luck!!!
Narcissists play dirty once they know it’s truky over -if you haven’t gotten the PDF When The Devils The Defendent I highly recommend it -it’s been downloaded by thousands and has been so helpful to those going through the horror of divorcing anarcissist- Narcissists only have the upper hand when their targets are clueless as to what they are doing or why - knowledge is power and being prepared for court is vital! I truly hope the best for you both.
Don't get sucked back in love yourself believe in yourself. You need to protect your child.
KennyWayne how’d it go?? 😃
@@Underrated7777she got him
black sword what do you mean? He lost the case? She had the judge hooked like and sinker if that’s the case. Wrapped around her fingers. Gotta get these judges narcissist proof degrees/licenses. There should be a whole year of avoid narcissist level perjury law.
I tend to think that wether you are male or female, the narcisstic 's favourite game is convincing you that you cannot make it in life without them. Once you face your fears and leave them, you will heal emotionally and physically.
Robert Olsen the key is recognizing how fulfilling life will be without them
100 percent right on - he had me completely convinced that I couldn’t make it on my own.... even though I was completely independent when I met him
Garima Heath wich is why you moved in with him right into his place right ?
Robert Olsen thank you for this comment I really needed to see this.
In addition they create the environment for you to be dependent on them as confirmation that you cannot make it without them. They slowly breakdown your self confidence, self esteem, and independence.
My narcissist didn’t love me more when I had one foot out the door; It was when I both feet out the door.
If you can't negotiate terms you are not in a relationship.
This x 1000000!
Exactly! If things cant be reciprocated it's over, the other half will be trying to get you to stay as friends. Friendship to them is second place, it gives the partner the opportunity to reach out. Everything is one sided.
Patrick Mendoza omg. This shit makes so much sense. She tried get me stay friends with after I left. She try really really hard get me stay friends with after I left but I don’t stay friends w my ex’s. I’m glad I told her no.
Succinct. So true.
Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan
Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me
Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free…
HELL 2 the Double YES in that !!!
Good song. Good Point.
LoL YES !!!!
LEAVE AND NEVER LOOK BACK !
Good point but a terrible song.
PERFECT
I dated a narcissist female for 6 months. I did not listen to my gut after the first date, and if I had, I’d have never seen her again. She was everything I’d ever wanted for the first two months. And then she switched like a light switch. It was like I was in prison in my own home. The gaslighting drove me over the edge. I cried every day. And she would not leave my house. She ended up beating the shit out of me, I had her arrested and she was so remorseful for a week! I fell for it. Then she switched back AGAIN and told me I made her mad enough to beat the shit out of me, that I ruined her life by calling the cops and that I’m a terrible person. All because I didn’t listen to my gut. Thank god she’s gone. But she put me through things I’m not sure I can ever truly get over. Narcissism is absolute insanity. How do they sleep at night?!
They are masters of out staying their welcome and turning your home into their torture chamber.
They don't sleep...and now I have insomnia from my ex narc
They dont....
.
How do they sleep at night?
Normally next to someone they just met
Totally! After 2 months of being everything I ever wanned, she changed as light switch. After that, 2 months of agony when finally I said... ENOUGH!
My ex wife of 10 years took over all the home admin: cooking, cleaning, kids, shopping, even doing my taxes. Before I met her I did absolutely everything for myself, but gave in to be pampered. It was definitely one "chain" that was hard to break; because I had become too comfortable. Anyway, after I mustered the courage to leave her (I was totally under her control), I filed for divorce. One thing I have learned, is that even if you have been utterly crippled by such women, you have to consciously let go the VICTIM mentality. You must completely reject that rabbit hole and start clawing your way back up to strength. Stay strong my brothers.
AuricMonkey I have been married less than two months . I really wish I new what a narcissist was I only started looking after I was married . Because according to her things would be different if we where married !!!! We are already in therapy !!! I really don't want to abandon her . But she wants to control every aspect of my life ! It's unbelievable how everything I see about a narcissist woman is true ! She got pissed when I wouldn't let her managed my linked in account . I really feel like this is the last straw for me. She wants to control everything as if I can do nothing right !!! I seriously want to throw up
Its sad to read about your situation. We get married because we love and want to form a lasting companionship with that special person, so to see that it is going wrong so quickly is unfortunate. I would advise taking a step back and consulting with someone you trust, your father or an elder you respect, who would give you a sincere perspective on what is happening. My experience of therapists is not good, but you should keep trying, maybe it works for you.
Above all be sincere with yourself about what is going on, eg. if you´re going out partying all the time, thats something you need to change as a married man, but remember that you should not assume guilt and responsability if your conduct is impeccable. Being kind does not equate with being foolish.
Lastly, get sex completely off the table or at least use protection (that means you, not her) because if things do go south, last thing you want is to get her pregnant and be tied to a succubus for the rest of your life while paying alimony for the privilege. Seriously. Its only temporary and it does help with perspective. If she gets unreasonably mad about this, best watch your neck. Good luck
Michelle said you go back after leaving, I did, you get love bombed, separate your money, your friends, your realatives, your shrink, your narc will poison them against you and to you will say they are talking about you behind your back. They will attack anything that takes you away from their control. Do your self work. What made you the target. Why did you get caught. Make yourself strong emotionally. And brace yourself for fire and brimstone.
Thanks u so much for the advice, this is my current situation my brother
Yea, yea, yea.... I have now learned this sickness that is encrypted into women
Narcissist or BPD Rules
(Please feel free to add to the master list )
1. Lies to cover up lies
2. Never keeps a promise
3. Blames partner for everything gone wrong
4. Blames everyone else for everything that’s gone wrong
5. Triangulates everyone, your family , your friends , the neighbor , your coworkers to destroy your reputation and make you out to look like a monster
6. Reckless with their money , credit
7. Reckless with your own money , credit
8. Always needs financial help
9. Irrational & insecure , almost paranoid wanting to check your phone or where you’ve been but if they disappear we aren’t allowed to ask
10. Controlling of their partners
11. Are complete slobs that rarely clean or organized
12. Rules are for everyone else except themselves
13. Will manipulate you to make you feel as if your the crazy one . In fact they will tell you that you need psychological help
14. Will twist the truth and facts into their sick version of reality
15. Will pick a special day to torment or destroy you emotionally or by breaking up with you like on your birthday , holidays , special events just to make a permanent lasting damage to you that you’ll never forget
16. Will tell you that they want to spend the rest of their life with you and then turn around and say they don’t love you anymore get out
17. Never if rarely ever apologizes for their mistakes or if they get caught
18. Or if they do admit and apologizes, it is short lived and acts as if nothing terrible has happened
19. Constant mood swings back and forth that drive you crazy .
20. They are not financially stable
21. Constantly is on the cell phone checking on others on social media
22. Likes to judge and cast the stone upon others
23. Can’t handle criticism because their egos are so fragile
24. Will explode in rage and make you feel fear
25. Will set you up whether with the police , courts , friends , family to make you look bad
26. The biggest hypocrites claiming to believe in something but in reality they have no values no morals
27. Willing to screw people over including those close to them
28. Always complaining unappreciative
29. Creates a false sense of superiority in that they believe they deserve better than anyone else
30. Reckless in their decision making even risking ones own relationship & family
31. Are very charming and friendly that they suck you in
32. Quickly starts talking about marriage and you are my soul mate and talks about building a life together after only a few months
33. If you attempt to discard them before they are done with you, they will seek revenge and do everything in their power to get back into your life including by humbling themselves and saying how sorry they are . But in reality it’s all a setup to get you to lower your wall and defensive and then once in will destroy your heart on purpose .
34. Will use emotions like crying , screaming and acting as if they are the ones hurt , not you .
35. Will always leave the slightest chance of hope and mess with your mind that things might work out.
36. Can’t keep a stable job . In fact has more jobs than fingers on the hand
37. If they have seen a therapist, you can bet it’s not the same person over the months or years and will discard their own therapist once that person realizes how messed up they are and begin to question their decision making
38. Does not believe they have a problem. In fact you are the one with the mental issues .
39. Once they do something bad and get caught , taking responsibility does not exist for them. It’s you who will be punished and treated like crap
40. Will make plans in the future to discard you and possibly be with someone else but will wait patiently like a spider does to the fly prey. And then without warning will strike against you . And your either kicked out , served with divorce
41. After discarding you will hover around you to see what your up to like a vulcher circles around its potential prey.
42. Willing to take gambles and risky behavior regardless of the consequences
43. Is not afraid of the law, police or society . However the one thing they are terrified with is severe sickness or death because they know you can’t cheat nor manipulate it.
44. Will pretend to care and be interested in your problems but it’s all fake
45. Will be eager to meet new people and make new friends so as to use them in the future to get something out of them whether it’s a potential job , borrowing money or exploit them.
46. Will even use their own children against the other parent and bad mouth them to the child
Great and accurate list. ✔
100 percent true 👍
This is very accurate
So true. I experienced most of this. These people are demons.
Very well written thank you for taking the time
Everything was absolutely ‘perfect’ for 8 months. Travelled together. Made plans for the future.
Then one day she completely changed. Became hypersensitive to pretty much anything I said. Said crazy things.
Left her alone for a week. Thinking things would ‘reset’. Within a day she blew up again, ten times worse.
I still tried to fix it, but all she was focused on was serving me pain.
I walked away. A month later she emails me. I delete it without reading.
Haven’t heard from her since.
18 months.
For that, I’m grateful.
Good job man
That's how they operate. First they future fake then leave us for a shiny new toy
Wrath, the wrath. Scary how threats can easily turn into real.
GOOD FOR YOU...YOU SAFELY ESCAPED.. DON'T FEEL SORRY FOR HER...FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF..AND THE CRUEL TREATMENT SHE ENJOYED GIVING YOU.....YOUR MISERY GAVE HER JOY....BELIEVE ME..SHE WILL NEVER CHANGE.....A VERY DERANGED PERSON....YOUR FREE NOW!..REJOICE AND DON'T EVER GO BACK...
She’ll be back. They almost always come back
Too true , you are never good enough. I gave everything , emotionally, physically & financially , and it's never enough. It's all your fault they're not happy xx
So true. Always looking for greener supply
The hardest thing about recovering from a narcissistic relationship is reclaiming your identity. They slowly manipulate you by making false promises of love and commitment. Then they take away your family, friends, and support system. Finally they try to take away your goals and dreams. I kept giving and she kept taking. I kept placing her needs, desires, and wishes before mine. It took me so long to post this post. Because for so long I did not have a voice.
Mohamed Mohamed - I was sucked in as well to compliments and that was special and I did so much for her never really getting anything back
Yes they take away your..FAMILY..ALL YOUR FRIENDS..ISOLATE YOU IN THEIR HOUSE...GET VIOLENT IF YOU TRY TO LEAVE TO VISIT FAMILY OR FRIENDS...THEY TELL YOU NO TO PURSUE YOUR MUSICAL GOALS AND DREAMS...THEY THROW YOUR MUSICAL EQUIPMENT..OUT THE DOOR SMASHING STUFF ON THE SIDE WALK...AS YOUR LOADING YOUR CAR FOR BAND REHEARSAL....= Violent insane control freak woman....solution...
Is to call 911...and tell the cops to come immediately to "escort you out with out having your valuable possessions destroyed..etc....
..
The person I thought I was marrying was affectionate, emotionally attentive and very sexual. All those things were withheld and controlled for 17 years. I spend all those years trying to ‘fix’ the relationship. When I finally was ready to end it the Narc became a Nymphomanic that was so attentive and interested in me again. The Narc used guilt and shame and flying monkeys to get me to stay- leaving was the best decision I ever made
Ditto but cant financially leave
I'm a little concerned because the nympho finally showed up again after 10 years when I am ready to divorce.
I don't know if she is a narc, she signed the post-nup agreement without much issue.
My only concern is that a post-nup changes nothing. But time will reveal her soon enough.
This is a great explanation of how hard it is to leave a female narcissist. It is a terrible situation to be in, but nearly impossible to escape because of the addiction. Unless you have experienced it, it is difficult to understand. This is so good I will watch again, thanks for posting.
Missing from this discussion is something called "trauma bonding". I strongly suggest anyone watching this video research this and understand what it is. In a nutshell one becomes addicted to one's abuser, and that is why a trauma bonded person, regardless of gender, returns to an abusive partner.
Two years later and as true as ever!!
🙏🏽
I left my ex gf because she is a narcissist. I saw the signs, endured the mental abuse and anguish, and got tired of it. She went to a cottage to have a "me" weekend under very suspicious circumstances, I moved out completely while she was away. When she returned and saw that I did indeed left, she was "devastated".. only until there was a strange truck in the drive way a day later. Hardest thing I ever did, but the best thing I ever did.
nuthinfayce damn bro
F*ckin awesome dude
It was a week for mine. It’s not even been 2 weeks since I had enough and let her go. And she’s already with someone else. It hurts but I’m so glad I’m out. Got to get back to living life on my terms and chasing my dreams. I’m with you bro.
@@j.l.m.6954 She was a childhood crush of mine. There is so much that she went through that made her the way she is that I am sure a book could be written. I feel for her at times as she has survived childhood sexual abuse, but her narcissism was her front. I did tell her that she really needed to seek therapy. I believe that she did... I haven't spoken to her since, but it was a very tough two years or more in dealing with her, then the loss after. Now, I know the signs, the backstories, the psychologies that can contribute etc. I do have to say thought that, if she got the help to bring her life back to some sort of normalcy, then the pain and sadness of the two years was not in vain.
@@nuthinfayce funny...it was the same thing she was abused as a child and young teen. I wonder if that plays a large role in their development into manipulators. But the amount of lies I was told I don’t know what to believe. She said she would seek therapy too which I encouraged and was willing to pay for but she wouldn’t go. We just have to keep moving forward and do the next right thing in our lives. It hurts it sucks and i don’t know if I’ll ever be over it but I’m going to keep pushing forward. Well that’s right this second...I may be in a ball crying tonight we shall see. Sometimes I really hate being empathetic and always believe the best about people. But it’s how I’m made. Lol. INFJ for life. 👌
She tried to pretend how much she cared but her vanity always got the better of her, she was a head turner, and she definitely knew it. I finally escaped but she chased me for 6 years before she gave up. She couldn't get over the fact that for the first time in her life a man had turned her down. I actually stayed single for 8 years after the narcissist abuse I recieved.
Same here brother, good call
"Too late to save the relationship"? That's sorta putting it mildly. She's not even a has-been, she's a never-was.
Ya that has been the biggest pill to swallow, she never loved me and I'm finding it easier every day to move on from this sick lie and that sick person.
the mean and sweet cycle is so confusing. just remember, a person who is mean alot is toxic. love should not be painful. a regular person who is having a rough day would not take it out on a loved one. if your spouse is gone alot and doesn't tell you where they are, that is the silent treatment. silent treatment is highly damaging. i wish someone had told me that. narcissists are just impossible. there are many many nice people in the world. find real love. we deserve happiness. thanks to michelle.
chemtrailmary
I agree with you. My ex did silent treatment by turning his phone off or going out and turning it off so I was worried. I just wanted to say I use to leave sometimes to clear my head after years of his lies and abuse.(cheating)
After much needed therapy I now know I have cptsd and that's a sign- fight or flight. I was almost convicted I was a narcissist and he was this great guy. They definitely make you lose your reality and mind.
Your soul dies due to the whole ecosystem of narcissism. I had no idea over the course of 1 year that I wasn't even me. The decline is at the molecular level, change is imperceptible. What we think are comprises that people in a relationship do, it is actually an infectious mind virus. first 10 days after ghosting her, I felt great! so happy! Doing the long list of "chores" I had put off. BUT THEN!!!! Day 11. I discovered this this thing called codependent and narcissism. Figure out the exact twisted scenario, me, gf, her narcy bestie male friend. He was like part of our relationship due to his rude behavior and her refusal to address it. I had to address it. Told him he's an ass and never contract me again. 2 days later, gf got the same text. They don't deserve a phone all or in person visit. Sick people. NB : Day 11 and 12 I was super fkn angry and cursed their name aloud to the universe for what seemed hours. What an insidious disease of the mind.
They never give you a minute the constant wanting to know what you are doing every minute of the day .. anyone else have this problem ????
Fellas, we need to take our Power back! Period#
Excellent. 8 years and she is never happy. I have been cheated on 2 times. I have lost everything. She's made sure I am to broke to leave.
I am in AA. 20 years. I went back for the help. It worked. This is an addiction. I got a simple job in retirement and it clicked. I am soon to leave. To make matters worse. Her adult daughter is a bad Narc. Has conned men for a couple million. One still pays while she screams at him!
I feel better. The fear of starting over is gone. I will be ok.
2 times last week or?
Terry Curtin Congrats and good luck.
The two times is all you know about, trust me. Been with a narc for 12 years. They cheat compulsively.
you can start over
I struggle with thinking I’m the narcissist. We split months ago but still talked everyday. She said I changed and wasn’t the person she met. I wonder why. Trying to appease someone all the time out of fear of angering them or setting them off changes you. I wasn’t allowed to make jokes anymore or else I was “immature”
My x-wife is a female narcissist. We were married for 5 years but were in contact a lot for 15 years because we had a child together. It was like being in a movie. A scary drama movie that would scare the crap out of anyone that watched it. Looking back on it, I truly wish I'd seen this video 25 years ago. My son and family were the ones that freed me from her spell by telling me it was either her or them if I din't completely have nothing to do with her. She was the only woman I have ever loved and one of the cruelest people I've ever known. So basically I'm a mess now. Still trying to put my life together. Thank you for this content Michelle you are a great help in making sense of what happened to me.
I always compare this feeling of not wanting to leave like that feeling you get when you're putting money into an arcade machine. You daren't leave, because you think that the moment you turn around, that will be the moment that it will hit the jackpot and pay out. So you stay, lured by the flashing lights and the promise of big prizes, and you keep putting your money into it, until you've lost everything.
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!
Yes, restraining order shows you mean business
@@mzlo2057 Exactly! Enough is Enough!
Dated this chick for about 5 months. Was crazy and seemed to have strong OPD and NPD tendencies. To the point where it scared the crap out of me. I dumped her twice during that period. She became obsessed, couldn’t get rid of her.
my wife will not stop lies until I cry .and when I cry she tells me to leave into the street I nonstop tell her I am sick And disabled and she Roll her eyes and laughs and calls me a liar and mocks me out loud when when I pray .i love Jesus but I have no human I can reach out to
Grow a pair mate
@@grahambate3384 don't be rude sir he needs counseling and guidance watch and yours comes next and let's see how fast you'll grow a pair then
My Brother I hope you have gained strength and peace, You must get around Good Christ Loving people to survive this
I am human, your not alone my brother.
Document it on a nanny camera, then when you have it, go to the necessary authorities. Peace
Two years alone and out of that insanity. I had 10 years with a borderline only to get together with the next one, a covert narcissist. I know i will meet someone someday and it will be real. I value this moment tight now. Thank you for your channel
when a person is never happy no matter what you do, its a technique to enslave you to endlessly keep trying and failing. supply and demand, its a toxic relationship.
When I dumped this girl with OPD/NPD. I could NOT get her out of my hours. Took 5 hours. Simply crazy
“The narcissist loves you most when you have one foot out the door.” Holy crap, this hit too close to home.
I have been in a nine year, emotionally abusive relationship. It took me too long to realize I had set myself on fire to keep her warm, despite friends and family telling me I was on fire.
Once I realized it, I let the fire burn for another two years hoping she might change. Now I have one foot out the door, and she is love bombing with a vengeance.
Nope. No more. I deserve better, and so do you.
Any updates now my man?
@@ThePonyd leaving that relationship was the hardest thing I have ever done. It took me over a year to truly feel like "me" again. Our breakup was drawn out because of pandemic lockdowns. During the weeks, months, and year after I made that comment, she became violent, she stalked me, and she harassed me. It was intense. The summer of 2020 was the most stressed I have ever been in my life. Paranoia, panic attacks and drinking were the themes. I didn't have the courage to get law enforcement involved, but looking back, I wish I did. I didn't feel safe.
Therapy saved me. If anyone is on the fence about trying out BetterHelp, just DO IT. My therapist saved me. There were so many times I considered getting back together with my ex just to stop the barrage of physical and emotional violence--but in the back of my head, I kept telling myself "things will get better. You can be happier." I felt like I was in Hell, but friends, family, therapy, and a little optimism pulled me out.
Thankfully, the situation calmed down significantly in late 2020. I grew stronger. I distinctly remember a moment where it felt like my head was finally above the clouds, and I could see everything clearly. I have not seen her in about two and a half years. We are civil at best.
Now, years later -- I am the happiest I have ever been, and I am in a beautiful relationship with my childhood crush, the one who got away. It is so surreal.
The pain of that breakup in 2020 was worth it. Absolutely worth it.
@@RandyMarsh609 that's a great update man and I'm glad to hear it. I have found one of the massive positives from being in a narcissistic relationship is learning how many people suffer this too. I am 6 weeks out a 4 year one, and she's currently trying to hoover me back in. Trying to resist is definitely the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I recently discarded a female malignant narcissist after being together 18 years, No contact is vital to your healing. Life was hell with her but after you learn more about their mental disorder and get over the shock of your relationship being all a lie and you learn more about yourself, you will see that it was not your fault but you must learn why you even got involved in the first place and when you learn that, you will see your life improve greatly. these woman are damaged beyond repair and just know that her new supply will suffer the same fate and this cycle will repeat itself with all supplies that follow. Karma or the idea of Karma for her is in fact her own life, she suffers daily because of her own doings, she is a lost soul living in misery, but this is not your problem any longer. I know the hardest thing to accept is that she really never loved you and believe me once you learn more about narcissism that anger of being lied to for so long will eventually disappear. just know that going forward you will now be better educated to see the red flags sooner if and when you find someone new in your life, you will learn to trust again in time but your eyes will be open now. do not beat yourself up over this, knowledge is power. Good luck in your recovery gentlemen.
Thank you for your comment. I could relate completely. I feel great and alive again. No more verbal abuse for no reason, no more cheating and lies, no more having her do everything for me, then called every name in the book. I’m 100% free and she’s love bombing me constantly. I feel sorry for her and what she’s going through mentally but I honestly cant live like that anymore. My friend and family keep telling me to go back and fix things (she cheated) but they don’t know everything else that comes alone with being with a narc.
Thanks
I finally got rid of my GF .She said she was visiting her Mom for the evening but left her Moms a hour after she got there.Caught her cheating.I text her it's over .She tried to lie she went to see a GF .I new what was going on.She tried to lie her way out of it .Well good luck to the new guy.Hes in for a good ride.Thanks John from Ottawa.Canada
John Marochko please tell me you did NOT take her back. I did and man have I paid for it. Now a year later I hope you have moved on and are in a healthy relationship.
Seriously...write a list side by side...pros and cons and do it honestly. ..I got 1 pro and like 15 cons ...I havent gone total no.contact. she's in our apartment...i split...got most of the important things
..to. make matters worse she is trying to blackmail me via txt. I'm staying the fuck away from this nut
They are like Black holes they will suck every goodness from you. we should run away from this kind of relationship as you as you get opportunities
I had to play detective as her stories about where she was were ringing not true. I found out after going to her work and going on Facebook just how twisted and a liar she is. It was a lot easier than I imagined as she really was pathetic!
So many of us wasted years. I did 31, but she didnt really cycle/discard final until about 6 years ago. I believe she has BPD with strong Narc tendencies. I have attempted to address needs and boundaries, she would change the conversation. I wrote a letter stating things clearly. Now it is the silent treatment. Unfortunately I am stuck for another 18 months till this is over.
Knowing that when someone refuses to allow you to make them happy, this is a form of narcissism, is a game changer and I appreciate this so greatly. It is part of a issue I’ve always allowed myself to become gaslight over.
Wow, when you shared your personal experience I could see and hear the hurt that you went through. 😔 I thank you for making this video, videos like these help strengthen my conviction that she was narcissistic and I’m a good person. I will focus on my hobbies and friends to help me through this time
Thank you pretty lady for your consideration of Men.
Just because you are angry doesn't mean you are right.
I dated my wife for 3 years and she would start fight with me every few months over stupid things . throw me out for few weeks then want me back . I didn't know she was sleeping with other men I really thought she was upset . we got married and have been for 4 years and still every few months same thing . I found out she was sleeping with a lot of men and all my friends and when I question her she admired to sleeping with them . and couldn't understand why I was mad she said we wasn't together at the time . when I ask why she sleep with my friends her answer was I wanted her to because I has them come over to our house .
Thinking my now ex was the exact replica. She always spent hours in front of that mirror. She always went missing for hours. They love the free everything.
Ok I have not heard another person talk about this. This is helpful for us men. I’m trying so hard. I get my dream job as a Crtical Care Parsmedic she lost her mind. I started making more money, I wanted to take more responsibility. This all went crazy.
I'm glad I found your channel, I've been married 35 years, I made a mistake with my wife and was sorry for what I did, we talked about it and agreed we would move on. I never again repeated my behavior. 10 years after our agreement she began sharing the situation with others, its costed me several jobs, and I have to watch my back constantly.
Thanks for sharing! Especially coming from a woman's advice warning about female narcissist!
Took me 8 years to get over it. It was a living Hell. Literally. It still is from time to time.
I have been living this for 6 years of an on/off again relationship. I am planning my exit now though it seems extremely difficult to leave. I am much stronger now. Thank you for all of your videos. Spot on!
Mose Mathis good luck in your departure. Hope you’ve managed to stay away and really started to care for yourself more. Get comfortable with being alone. Good luck bro.
God bless you. Pray Lord you love and escape from scapegoat.
Hi mate, were you successful in leaving .? I hope so.
I left a narcissist abusive wife after 22 years of marriage. I could never please the bitch. Thanks to a corrupt court system and a sick church, I lost everything including our children. But now I have myself again. I am doing the things I want and have healthy relationships with people that love who I am. My advice if anyone cares is the sooner you get out of a toxic relationship the better. The longer you waste time trying to please a narcissist, the more you will lose.
one question....Where do these people learn to behave or act exactly the same way right to the T...is there a website or something??? I know its a pathological deficiency that they all have, but boy....this act of being nice on part whilst being non-compromising on other areas can really mess ones head up.
If someone will persistently refuse your request that they never do your laundry..never cook cook for you...but they continue with the silent treatment, no affection, no planning for the future...but still act like they are fulfilling their role in every sphere...choosing where they like to be part of you and shunning you in everything else...these people are evil.
You can never say you know about evil before meeting a Narc...NEVER!!!
ncbookz.com llc ..that's what I was thinking
Its demon possession, they are demoniacs, so you basically do not engage with a human but an unclean spirit (a demon), they were abused or traumatized sometimes in the childhood, which opened the door to a demon to enter them, or have just been children of these narc demoniacs, so in this case its generational.
+Mxolisi Mahlangu They all behave the same way because they are possessed by demons. I am not kidding when I say that. My ex-wife was chinese, and she acts the same as all these other narcs, too. These demon spirits are operating all over the world. It's the same spirit that satan has. It is a spirit that mocks God; and seeks to usurp his authority in the world.
+Bojana Kocijan Demons can also come into people because of family curses. The Bible says that families are cursed for several generations. Therefore, it is very important to know a person's background before you get involved with them. My chinese ex-wife, for example, had a father who gambled and drank liquor. Also, their family business is handling the Buddhist ceremonies for people, when they die. With that kind of background, you can only imagine what kind of demons have entered her family over the generations. I can also imagine that on several occasions her father must have made deals with demonic powers in order to pay gambling debts.
Mxolisi Mahlangu not funny but FUNNY
Finally after 4 years I mustered up courage to leave someone so toxic. Its been only a week but even though I feel completely lost I keep telling myself she wasn't worth it. She always made me feel like anything I said or did for her was never good enough and I started to believe I was a failure. My fear is that she will suck me back into her game.
My sister is a narcissist and I listened to her for years degrade my brother in law in front of everyone. She's busted up his big screen, bleached his clothes, cut him with a knife and they both got arrested and my niece got sent to foster care. Shes a nightmare as a family member. My mom had to raise my niece. Her husband finally left her. Just packed up and left one day. I was so happy for him. But, now the nightmare of him trying to see his kids is the big problem. I hope he doesn't give up.
A Narcissist is the devil personified
This is truth
EVIL
They are the quintessence of evil.
It's scary how accurate this is.
My ex showed me this as an "example of how I am the narcissist" in the relationship. Several years ago, for my 50th birthday, she asked me not to have my kids over, because for once, she was going to sit down, have dinner, and spend some time with me. I asked my kids not to come, and when I got home from work, the house was empty. I waited for 2 hours and finally texted and asked if we were doing anything or not. I got no response. Finally, half an hour before I went to bed, she walked in the house with her sisters, they had decided to go out to dinner that afternoon. I told her, calmly, but with tears in my eyes, that I was hurt that she would do that to me on my birthday. She then told me her sisters, whom she regularly had dinner with, were more important than me. And that my tears were just emotional blackmail.
I filed for divorce 3 years later.
That's awful - so sorry!! I hope your relationship with your children was not permanently damaged and so happy to hear you no longer tolerate abuse!!
Regardless of whether they are a man or a woman these narcissists are terrible people.
So much beauty out there, your videos have inspired me to not give up my search. This is gonna hurt so much but it's the right thing to do
22 yrs of my life was wasted ,and finally i've been free for 2 months. Before i left i was throwning up every day to the point of thinking i had cancer ,I was 1wk gone when the vomiting stopped and i havent been sick since ....I was lucky I think because the good Lord let me see what was happening to me I almost died because i was so miserable and every thing I ever loved was gone out of my life friends ,hobbies,and especially playing guitar....i weigh 150 down from 200 and still havent started eating well ...I am trying ..I was hurt and disabled 8 yrs ago when i wasnt able to bring in as much money thats when i noticed the crap started in earnest .then I had a stroke 3 yrs ago and fought like hell to overcome and i did. It was hard on me and i never had any support from her and she tells her friends I am a jerk for not helping her with everything even right after i got home from the hospital .....i hadnt even been home for 24 hrs when the ....be my maid started. Get up and do something....while i was just trying to walk again......i made a full recovery from the stroke....i wonder if my health will recover from this person. I am still so weak physically from the ups and downs with this person. And she comes off as nothing wrong with her its all my fault......I dont know maybe it was me???? Maybe I should have paid more attention.... just hope i live through this.... My health has so gone down hill ...I hope I can survive and its not too late for me to start gaining weight and get healthy??? I don't know???? Where were you 15 yrs ago Michelle ??? it could have saved me years of my life ... I am so thankful for you doing these videos Michelle and whoever mistreated you was a complete IDIOT. Thanks Michelle for your dedication and help...🌷😘🌈✌
I told her; «listen, we need to talk. There’s to much drama for me in our relationship». She said; «yes, you have to change because I never create drama. You’re the one asking all those crazy questions, and that’s where the drama comes from».
I was lying in bed looking at her face feeling romantic. She turnes to me and smiles a confused smile and says «you really love me dont you?» Me; «of course I do», waiting (in vain) for her to respond «I love you to». But instead I got a mocking laugh. Every time. She used sex to controll me. She came straight from her other supplier to have sex with me. The same day! Again and again. We were looking at old photos of me one day, and suddenly she picks one out and points to my eyes; «look at those eyes, you look really cocky and self absorbed there». I’m like; «uh, really?» scanning my brain to try and understand what she meant, feeling confused and hurt.
The one time I broke up with her, I looked out the window as she was walking down my street, taking her phone out to make a call, laughing and smiling. That was her other supplier I later learned.
The day she finally left for good, one hand on the door knob, telling me what a looser I was, her last words were; «I never loved you you know» smiling the most evil smile I have ever seen.
Narcs give them self away all the time though. Because she left me 15 times over the coarse of 3 years we had plenty of make-up talks. And thats allways when she admitted she could be toxic, telling me that up to the point she met me, she has allways had to have at least two men on the backburner. But I had changed all that for her. Yeah right. When I called her out on her infidelity, she finally admitted, and even made up a couple of stories about men, just to «see how I reacted» she later told me. The crazyness goes on and on. I could write a book about it.
I am an empath, and so many times have I scanned her energy field. When I looked at her heart, I always got an image in my head of an empty hole in place where the heart should be. Zero heart energy.
Three years gone, I ran into her the other day, smiling that good ol’ submissive schoolgirl smile of hers that used to get me hooked. I smiled politely, said hi, and went on my merry way. I could feel her rage in my back as I moved away.
They will NEVER change. Ever. Get out, get gone and stay gone. Unfriend from social media, delete contact information, let work and your children (if you have) be your sole focus. Erase her from your mind, so you may love again. Forgive yourself AND forgive her (for your own healing). And accept that the scar she left will never go away. Move towards the light. They shun the light.
Michelle, you are awe-inspiring!!! So articulate and knowledgeable!!! Great, great advice for both men and woman!!!
Thank you!!!
A mother , two exwives , all narrcistist, 7yrs with first , 30yrs. with second! Taken ten years to begin life anew. But all things are possible in solitude ! Lost so much but I gained myself , freedom and sanity ! At 69 1/2 yrs old I fully aware that the best is yet to come ! Death has become a comfrontable friend , after what I've experienced the grave holds no surprises. Finally life and living is a joy !
What you do is amazing. Thank you for these great videos. I’ve been stuck with a narcissist for 7 months now. I never understood how big of an issue narcissism is until I experienced it myself. I don’t wish this on anyone. You nailed all of the details in this. Thank you!
When I started caring about my future around when I was 17 yrs old I started waking up at 5 in the morning. My mom got raging mad at this because I was waking her up and her life was already hard enough having to leave for work at 9. Understandable right? The thing was my room was in the attic with two floors in between but that still woke her up.......... my mother also always never let me do anything. But I have a strong will though, so as I grew up I started taking responsibilities. And started to really rebel against the idea of female superiority as that was her angle. Now that I've seen these videos it really made me less hostile toward women because I believed all women were narcissists and this was their natural mode.
Your videos are a hard one to face! The truth and reality of the last 18 years I've been exposed to with a Narcissistic Girl who has utterly almost destroyed me emotionally, spiritually, and physically! I'm Soo sad... Thanks for your videos and help with the reality of it all! It's going to take a long long time for me to move on and trust again, but ultimately there's HOPE!!
I was married to one for 11 years and those 11 years were pure hell. I couldn't do anything right! She mercifully put an end to my misery by finally trading me in for another richer, more successful guy. At the same time she beautifully painted herself to her feminist lawyer and Court as the emotionally abused housewife. Judge ignored her infidelity and awarded her kids, house, half my military pension, half of existing company pension, and $3500/mth in child and spousal support. Just prior the rich dude saw her for what she truly was and ran. She tried coming back to me and when I refused, withheld the kids and resorted to financial extortion. Folks, in my opinion there is nothing on earth more lethally dangerous than a female narcissist bent on self justified BS revenge. I later learned that she had cheated on me multiple times. It is a real eye opener to realize that for 11 years I lived with someone who never loved me but rather, simply used me for my money. I don't know who or what creates such monsters.
Stay strong friend, you´re not alone in your suffering, many of us are going through similar things and deeply understand what it takes just to get up in the morning after this kind of experience.
Thank you, same to you. I have done a ton of outside reading/research on this topic as I wanted to gain an understanding of exactly what I was dealing with. I suppose I wanted to know how and why I was so duped! This human capacity to use and abuse fellow human beings is a subject area that is fascinating to me. These types of people for the most part, seem to thrive in and among us. They are co-workers and people who live within the law however they can operate under the radar to absolutely destroy people. Where does this come from? I've actually come across some research from Psychologists who after talking with victims claim "such people liken the experience to that of witnessing a demonic possession." This is the actual closest analogy some can make about it. I never really bought into all that possession of the soul stuff before but now "holy shit" I am not sure? Feminine Narcissism has exploded all across Europe and the U.S/Australia. This is a fact but what is causing it? I am theorizing and spit-balling here but my best guess is that it may largely be attributed to the equally explosive rise in entitled feminism!
You´re right on the money here. The mindset of the modern westernized woman has degenerated to such an extreme that it is downright tiresome (even dangerous) to deal with them. There is an underlying hostility, a conflictive posture ready to antagonize anything and everything that a man may do or say, no matter how reasonable or selfess our intentions may be. Its like they´ve lost all sense of cooperation and mutual respect for us, they have given in to their basest desires and corrupted the natural beauty of the feminine spirit. If there is hope for change, it lies among the women themselves. If they don´t dig themselves out of this one, all is lost.
Couldn't agree more. The ranks of women haters among men swells everyday. It is very alarming! Seeing and reading it is obvious but also, one can just feel it! I've never before seen such backlash. Look at the stuff out there on how low the marriage rates are! Women are now actually complaining about the fact we will no longer marry them. Guys are posting everywhere about how the Family Courts enable feminine entitlement and men get absolutely screwed. Odd as it may be, the Courts have headed themselves in a direction where they may one day be out of business. Young male professionals today are far more "keenly" aware of the dangers of feminine narcissism and how they could be victimized by such women and the Family Courts. Educating our gender about this growing issue is paramount. I don't ever want to see what happened to me, happen to anyone else.
Same here, I won´t hold back if marriage comes up in conversation. The problem is women go into attack mode for any kind of criticism and "friendly women" seem unable to side with a man no matter how awfully another woman has treated him. I have problems with my sister and mother about just this, if you can believe it. Anyway, from the moment I accidentally discovered narcissism on youtube, I am seeing female narcissists everywhere.
the person who keeps putting you down is telling you who they are, its projection.
I heard from her many times things as "i'm being childish,bad behaviour etc" and so many times when she said those words to me, i was thinking... how come i feel exactly this
about you? They use their own weakness and put the blame on us.
You loose your self and mold yourself into something you think the narcissist wants.. but it is never enough one day you realize how far you have come from what you once were. Do not share your inner thoughts, your friends and most of all your hopes & goals with this person. Try to find a way out if you can. Remember nothing in the relationship is real, it's all there to keep you as a source of supply.
Maybe Empaths should have a T-shirt with...
."I MAY BE AN EMPATH....but i'm not STUPID!....and now that i know stuff, i intend on kicking some serious ass, so BEWARE!"written on it.
When i started to do things for myself, ehich she didnt approve. She made me feel bad about that activity, i became halfhearted about it.
I have lived 6 years, 2 of those was the greatest time of my life. The last 4, I have been mentally degraded. I love her and my daughter, and my step children very much. But now I'm in motel for the second time in 3 years because she asked me to leave. It started with family issues that most couples work on together. Then it became bad communication. Here at the end she had gathered up alot of petty things and makes them sound extremely bad. I have been on my hands and knees, in tears begging to work on things. It all starts with things she said she just can't understand that I do. To sum it up, it has became all my fault and my whole family has disowned me.? My mental stated is damaged. I've been to counseling. But I'm still standing in the middle of a desert. Totally lost
Great guidance for guys who cannot see how far they've drifted from who they were. A wake-up call for you all to assert yourself as the true person you are. She's very good!
I just walked away no visits, no calls or anything. I really feel free, six months later, best decision I’ve ever made. It’s not worth staying in a horrible relationship.
Don't know how old this video is, but you are spot on. My question is, why do people with open hearts rarely end up together?
Magnificent question and about time they though they become so damaged by the other relationship a, until they become to ruined for someone Good to come into their Life
Because everybody on this planet was once bitten by Evil. The relationship with evil narcs creates patterns that we search unconsciously on another narc.
Damn! This video makes me realize my soon-to-be-ex makes me sick to my stomach! I feel for this guy and wish him all the best, he deserves it!
It makes my skin crawl to think of her touching me now.
Or he is going to need it, luck I mean.
Female narcissist are supposed to do everything for you? Not the two I’ve stumbled over. I wound up doing all of the “man work” and all of the “woman work”. They said I was completely incompetent without close supervision of course, but that’s all they ever did. Thanks for sharing this.
My narcissist would rip up my books. My narcissist never let me do anything with anybody. When she found out I was trying to leave she discard me and had another man move into my house. Now I'm a weak and broken man.
Hey man? You good now?
She is the broken one. Just find yourself and be happy.
I'm a trucker who was away from home 12 out of every 15 days. My narcissistic wife had the perfect set-up to execute her schemes and plenty of time to cover her tracks. And because of my job it also made me reliant upon her to keep me rolling. But I always felt her attitude about her support was that things she did for me was just another chore. She didn't do these things with genuine concern for my well-being out on the road. Nothing she did was done with a "glad heart". Now I realize that what she did was simply a "means to an end" to keep me out of the house for prolonged periods of time.
Talking about relationships may not be a "guy" thing, but, it is definitely an "empath" thing!
Nothing could be more true
Cracking comment.
IM MERRIED WITH A NARCISSIST FOR 30 YEARS THIS WOMAN HAS BEEN TORMENTING ME FOR 30 YEARS I DIDNT WANT TO DEVORCE HER BEACUSE I CAME FROM A BROKEN FAMILY AND I DONT WANT MY KIDS TO HAVE A BROKEN FAMILY MY WIFE TELLS ME HOW TO EAT MY FOOD WHAT CLOTHS I SHOULD WEAR WHAT SHOULD I BUY ON MY OWN MONEY AND WHAT SHOULD I DO WITH MY OWN MONEY WHAT SHOES IS GOOD FOR ME WHAT KIND OF HAIRCUT AND I SHOULD COLOR MY HAIR ALSO IWHEN I WAS 17 YEARS OLD I DID LAY AWAY SOME SERIUS JEWELY AND NOW THAT IM ON MY 50"S SHES TELLING ME THAT I WASNT WEARING MY JEWELRY WORTH $ 9.000 ALL OF THEM SHE BORROWED IT SO SHE CAN PAWN IT FOR HER CASINO HOBBIE AND UNTIL NOW I HAVENT GET IT BACK PLUS THE THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS THAT SHE BORROWED FROM CASH AND NOW THAT HER CAR IS BROKEN SHE TOOK OVER ON MY PICK UP TRUCK THAT I SPEND MONEY TO PUT IT IN A GOOD CONDITION . AND EVERYTIME I ASK HER TO GIVE IT BACK TO ME OR WHEN IS SHE GOING TO GIVE IT BACK TO ME SHES STARTING A FIGHT LIKE SHE FLAMES ME ABOUT HER BEING BROKE SHES ALSO BLAMING ME BEACUSE WHEN SHE WAS GAMBLING SHE WAS WINNING BUT WHEN I ARRIVE SHE LOSE BUT THE MONEY SHES USING IS MINE ALL HER MONEY IS JUST FOR HER SELF BUT WHEN SHES BROKE SHES NICE TO ME AVERYTHING THATS HAPPENING TO HER THAT DOESNT GO ON HER WAY ITS MY FAULT SHE NEVER BEEN WRONG . MY ADVICE TO PEOPLE THATS ON A EARLY STAGE OF MARRIGE WHEN YOU NOTICE SOMETHING LIKE MISS MICHELE LEE WAS SAYING YOU SHOULD LEAVE AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND DONT WAIT FOR YOU TO HAVE KIDS ON THAT PERSON
It is amazing what we can tell ourselves is normal. Accepting somebody telling you that you are not allowed to read is so far outside of right, good, or normal, but under the narc abuse spell is perfectly normal.
WWOWW!!!! This is almost exactly what I was going through with my ex!! The insults, the gaslighting and devaluation. I asked her about 7 years ago "what is my purpose in this relationship?". Never got a response but leaving was the best thing I've that I've done to break the cycle.
Oh my god... my exwife used to constantly harass me for reading, she'd throw away my books and say I would read cause I didn't know how to socialize. I used to hide books in my truck.
Thank you once again for the work you do and saving countless people including myself.
Wow! My story! Thanks for sharing. I got so entangled for years. Tried to break free many times. She would create a lot of drama, ignore me, insult me, twist what I say and so on. The silent treatments was horrible. The cycle of abuse was constant. The gaslighting and smear campaigns was brutal; then my would switch to nice mode suddenly, and I would be drawn back in every time.
I got lost for years. I still wish I would have came across your channel years ago.
I’m finally getting free now. I see clearly finally. Took a while. I was in a nightmare for 30 years.
Thanks for presenting this information on a routine basis. You are helping me to find myself. I got so lost.
It blew my mind when my co-worker asked me “What did I like to do?”. I could not answer the question. All I could do was stare at him with bewilderment.
I realized I was “broken” and “clueless” as a result of being in a toxic relationship for most of my adult life.....oooouuuch!!!!!
NPD abuse is destructive.
Yesterday, she told me that she would stalk and kill me if i left her because she couldn't bear the fact that i'd be happy without her if i walked away. I'm not seeing this relationship going anywhere.
The fact that a narc would rather see you unhappy with them rather than be happy without you is a very seldom touched upon point. It really speaks to how sick and demented the narc is in how they dehumanize their prey.
I can't escape! I feel there is absolutely no hope. There are too many "hooks" and i have done everything i can. I get accused of "not having any emotions or love. Well when it has bees tormented out of me what is left? I feel like an empty shell. Trying to escape and rebuild in this economy seems like an impossible task. What is the answer?
I experienced the opposite. My ex was very lazy and would become very aggressive when she had to do anything or didn't get what she wanted right away.
Michele- You have a deep understanding of this pain and a beautiful manner of sharing your expertise with us. Your videos are so helpful and I appreciate your gift! Thank you for sharing you with us....
Wow... I just realized my wife is a narcissist😱😱
Not only does she hurt me, and try to make me feel guilty about things I have no control over, but she always wants to be so loving to me when I tell her I don't think she is good for me. On top of that, every single characteristic you mentioned in this video as being narcissistic is me wife to a "T."
I can't believe I've gotten with another narcissist after so many years of watching yours and Kim Saeed's videos, especially after I was so torn up over my last marriage with my ex-narcissist wife. ☹️☹️ What is wrong with me?! I don't even know what to do now...
Wow I was looking all over for your channel finally found it. Glad your videos are still up. 2-3 years down the road I'm looking into things again, I thought things would get better she always reels me back in & I'd almost swear her narcicism is less than that of most but still I've got to get out of this I'm sure it's not only wasted a lot of my life but I think it has also reduced my lifespan as well. She did something that was over the line again so this is pretty much either her 5th or 8th chance, so I'm definitely sure at this point that her changing is not on the table.
Thanks for your nice video. I wish i knew this kind of personality years ago. 20 years of my life ruined living with such a monster. I suffered every second that can not be explained. You make people know and stop relationship with these demons fron the first stage.
I am married to someone with narcissistic tendencies. 9 years of emotional and physical neglect, and neglects her own care, and blames it all on me as if I’m the issue. I’ve done the vast majority of the relationship work, communication, social event planning/attending. I’m leaving because I can’t handle it anymore. And when I said that I don’t want to work on her and I, the light switch happened and I became the source of every single relationship problem. To the point where “any issues I had with her, was just a projection “
Im emotionally done, and I need to leave because I feel I’ve sacrificed the life and career I had for her.
I just discovered your channel today, have watched maybe six episodes and this one explains my situation exactly. I left sixteen months ago and our settlement conference is Friday and soon the divorce will be final. We went to counseling last year, I privately brought up what I thought was narcissistic behavior of my wife to the counselor and said, no I don't think so. I brought it up again with my own therapist that I've been seeing for a year and she said the same thing. Nope. But after watching your channel today, it's been twenty years of the exact behavior you describe, having gotten progressively worse over the years, I finally left. Then and only then did she all of a sudden become nice. She's not nice now and has no desire to see a therapist herself because of course, she thinks she's fine and I'm the one with the problem and needs to change. I'm 63 and she's 59, I retired and I'm really looking forward to the next happy chapters of my life. Thanks again so much for your incredible videos.
Just served mine papers and she can’t come back into the house . So the ex she told me to forget out she went back to him . This guy is a worse narcissst than her
wow...just...wow. You are spot on AGAIN. Thank you for making these videos about female narcs as well.
Brilliant, again. In my case, I was already handling the bills, the children, and so much else that, when she left, I found I didn’t really have a significantly greater workload. What hurt me most, in terms of my loss of time and energy, was the litigation she initiated two months after the divorce was finalized. To this day, some fifteen months later, the litigation continues. Mercifully, I still have custody of the children of the marriage.
After 5 years of on again off again and the implosion of ‘our’ engagement, when she threw me out for the final time, she got mad at how quickly I moved out after her demanding I get out immediately.
‘I thought you might take a couple of days’ she said in disappointment...
Yes my ex was like that hated it if im happy still does, she can't find anyone else who will put up with her horrible behaviour, im trying too not feel sorry for her, because she's not changed in 5 years ago we split up, im back no contact because. I remember that it's impossible too make it work we have 4 kids together 😢
Thank you so much for sharing. I’ve really benefited from listening to your videos. Regret I didn’t discover your work sooner and figure out what I was dealing with before we got married. I thought marrying her would help her be more secure and therefore contented because insecurity was what she said was the fundamental problem with her constantly acting out and accusing me so viciously of doing things I didn’t do and often times for things she could easily prove were not true. I now know these vicious accusations were part of the abusive psychological techniques used to manipulate and control me. She actually even knowingly made up things (I later learned) just to then beat me down over. So this time I’ve been away longer than anytime before and we are moving toward divorce. I’ve actually gone no contact. I still very much miss the mirage version of her. I can’t even begin to tell how incredible that version of her is. Early on in the relationship I would say to some of my closest friends that the adoration, sex, affirmation, encouragement and near worship was so fantastic it was nearly embarrassing to admit. And that version of her would circle back when I’d walk. But AFTER we got married her acting out got worse. The deception constant. The tension of worry over triggering her ever present. And while the love bombing was still there it was nothing compared to the first 2 years of dating. I just couldn’t trust her. I never knew what she might do next. What she might be setting me up for etc. So it’s been crazy. And I won’t go on any further about all that. Classic BPD with strong Narcissistic and Histrionic traits. Go slow people. Please know that if it’s too good to be true it probably isn’t true. Despite how amazing it was there were signs really within the first month. And those signs piled up to now looking back on it, should have been and really were clear to me 4 months in. But by then I was so captivated by and truly addicted to the amazing version of her. I thought with my love patience forgiving tolerant nature I could navigate it. YOU CAN’T! I was wrong and it’s cost me 5 years of my life and literally a few hundred thousands so far.
Tim
I know your post is a year old, but still relevant today. Especially the “in the beginning of the relationship” part. I’m just now going through the loss of what I had with my ex-N, and our wonderful times spent together, and am currently reeling in my emotions over it all. I’ll be ok, but not before I heal completely.
Hope you’re doing much better by now.
It's very difficult to be in a relationship with the narcissist. sometimes it feels like I'm in prison, God help me, can't take this anymore.
My wife is making my life a leaving hell.
Thank you for this, 2 years out of the relationship, and I am just learning what happened to me.
So you are dead on. My wife soon to be EX started having issues when I wanted doing more stuff for myself. I told her how it is. I forgot she took that offensively.
11:40 man that hit home so hard! I had experienced the same thing, my elder brother was making fun of, humiliating and discriminating me about everything, (And I have to admit, It's so so so hard to comprehend because they are smiling. They are not a bully type that is all grumpy. A person who puts a happy face really distorts your receptors and the ability to react and define what's happening.) and one thing was that I was reading a book at the balcony. That's it. When I was unaware of the situation I was wondering how come a reading a book can be mocked? But then you understand, the incidents are not important. Only thing is killing the joy no matter how.
Whatever I had the glimpse of joy, it had been killed right away. And I was thinking it's coincidence yet when you examine, you see that these are the every single times that I can be seperated and had a seperate identity and interests and unique -uninterrupted- connection with the world around me. But no. I raised in an environment where I only have the playground as far and wide as my brother wanted to lazily step.
Now I'm trying to extend my horizon and re-joy the things I uniqeuly like which hopefully lead me to space I should have been for 30 years.
plus: I had a 5-year-long relationship with a covert narc which ended more than 1 year ago, maybe 2. Still working on to get rid of the impact and gather myself and my masculinity back. I totally believed to be a loser whereas I was a hard worker and an achiever before the relationship. Lİke Michele's brother. All I am fighting for is "never again"; I have gone and going as deep as I can to cleanse and restore everything distorted; and it is dirty. It is really dirty to be suspended and forced to play a role which is strictly aiming to perishment of me that is going deep in my childhood, my mother and my relentless sister.
Terrific message A+ that's is exactly what happened to me after 19 years, leaving twice and finally divorcing her, now it is all clear, you have found the words that explained what I was feeling and I meet her at church and thought she had Christian values, in the end I was struggling to breath.
Good for you leaving and don’t ever look back I’ve dealt with a few narcissistic people in my life they are cold and extremely manipulative and will never change.