When Do you Tell Your Child they Have Autism? How I Realized That I Have Autism & My Diagnosis Story
Вставка
- Опубліковано 16 жов 2024
- How I Realized That I Have Autism & My Diagnosis Story is a video by Tyler McNamer a best selling author and speaker on the subject of autism. His book Population ONE: Autism, Adversity, and the Will to Succeed provides a unique look into the mind of a person with autism.
Oftentimes this process of self discovery leads to sadness. So Tyler has created a social story called "Sadness" that helps a person with autism better understand their feelings. It can be downloaded at:
www.autismwork...
You can also visit Tyler's blog at:
www.autismworks.com/blog
If you are trying to determine when to tell your child they have autism, you might also want to read one of Tyler's blog posts called "Understanding Someone Without Autism" It will help you better understand the perspective of someone that has autism. You can find the post by using the URL below:
www.autismwork...
Is your child frustrated and angry because they have autism?
Please download a FREE Anger Management Social Story that will help them better understand their emotions: It can be found using the link below:
www.autismwork...
You will find new video's posted to this channel each week, please subscribe to my channel to be notified.
You can find us on several social media channels:
Twitter at: / autismworks_aw
Facebook: / wwwautismworkscom
Pinterest: / autismworks
Instagram: / autismworks_aw
Google +: plus.google.co...
Thanks for watching!
Tyler
You are so awesome, Tyler! My parents didn't feel comfortable telling me that I have autism until I was 12. I had an IEP meeting at school when I was 14 and in 8th grade. All the staff members and my mom were attending that meeting, and they were addressing my strengths and weaknesses. When I was 15, I was too focused on my weaknesses due to my autism, which made me upset through the rest of 8th grade and following my freshman year in high school, and it felt nearly impossible to accomplish those weaknesses even in early high school. Two years later at age 17, I was starting my junior year and realized that weaknesses are never impossible to accomplish. So I came up with a new way to transform my weaknesses into new strengths, and it came true! I was able to finish high school with straight A's, and I got inducted into the National Honor Society near graduation. Then graduation day was the best day. I was also able to socialize more since junior year. Looking forward to watching more!
That's awesome Vincent! You've got quite the inspirational story yourself! Thank you for sharing part of it with us. 😊 We hope that you are doing well!
I didn't tell my son until he started asking questions, around 10-11 years old. Just like Tyler said, it wasn't a big deal. It was just who he was and I didn't want him to feel more different by putting a label on him. I just wanted him to grow and learn to do his best. He didn't always fit in with the "cool kids", but I loved that about him. He could make up his own mind and not go along with the crowd. Today, he is mostly confident and will graduate from college soon. He still wants to have more social interaction, but still finds it challenging. In college, he didn't participate in the sterotypical college activities (drinking, sports, greek life, etc.) so he felt a bit lonely most of the way through. Classes were very challenging. I think he stayed grounded because he comes from a large supportive family. He is gifted in so many ways. He's going to find his place in the work world. Today, he has a significant amount of anxiety about navigating the job search process and the potential grad school process, so much so that he spends a good deal of time feeling stuck and unable to move forward. I think that once he officially graduates (in two weeks) that his mind will be less burdened and he can move home and make his next move in life with a huge goal accomplished and a clean slate for moving forward.
I'm so grateful for those in our world who are blessed with minds that think differently! There has been so much innovation and creativity that has come from people on the spectrum, throughout history!
Tyler, I am most grateful to you for sharing your stories and thoughts and experiences. Every moment that I can get to understand better and hear from you and your experiences helps me to be a better mom and support my son (and probably my husband) better. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing with us @BusyMom ! We hope that you and your son are both doing well. 😊
You are awesome! I loved reading your book and watching your seminars. One day i'll have my son (who is 7 and has autism) learn about your successes to help inspire his own
Thanks so much for the kind comment Carolyn. Perhaps I will meet you and your son one day at one of my speaking engagements. I'm sure he is amazing, and you are too.
Talk soon,
Tyler
Tyler thank you so much for making people aware of this special gift of yours. My daughter is 26 and we didnt find out until she was 16.
This is fantastic Tyler! Proud to know you. Looking forward to watching more!
His genius observation not only relates to children/people who are on the spectrum but also to those who are not on spectrum but understand that are different from crowd and gets sidelined because they are not the average!
Thank you for the kind words Gulshan! That's a good way to think about it too: just because we don't have autism doesn't mean that we can't relate to someone who does!
This video inspired me as my son has autism and wonder if he can express himself in the future. You answered my question. My question is how you learned to socialize with others.
God bless you, Tyler
Thank you, Jennie. 😊
I didn't figure it out until I was 60. No one ever told me.
We're sorry to hear that. We hope that you are doing well now though!
@@AutismWorks Thank you so much! It is a relief to know. Now everything about my life makes sense. Your channel has helped me so much! Thank you for your insights.
We are so happy to hear that the channel is helping! Thank you for your support. 😊
At 4:40, how is he aware that it is natural to be afraid. I’m not saying he didn’t experience it. I am asking, given that his only bases for the belief is his point of view. Or are they several children/teenagers that say the same?
Many do feel that way when they find out they have autism Mario, so Tyler thought it was important to address that. Not everyone is that same though, so some may have very different reactions.
@@AutismWorks My question is, how do we know that 'many' do? I could be wrong, but I believe his dad has stated that Tyler is the first one to write a book, specifically from a person with Autism point of view. I am not trying to be difficult, and I am most definitely not trying to take away from his experiences. But just as the response was to my first reply, 'Not everyone is that same though'. I am asking out of genuine curiosity is that normal, or is it just his experience. Does he or perhaps people who have worked with many in the Autism Community, have had the same experience. To be completely transparent, I ask because my son, age 4, is on the spectrum and from what I read, it seems as if there is no 'normal'. And is my belief wrong because I have only read from people from an outside perspective. I have order Tylers book off of Amazon, and have referred it to other parents who have children on the spectrum. I whole heartly wish the best for Tyler. I would love to see his father put out a book too, if at all possible. Thank you for the reply, take care and God bless.
I’m an autistic adult, 52, and I wasn’t diagnosed while still in school.
But, for many reasons, I had various issues that got me into special education, and frankly, at least some of that was a side-effect of parts of that: I have a number of things where I’m divergent.
Here’s the thing to keep in mind regarding fear: I’ve always been very distinctly othered and excluded, and targeted as a result of my nature, and I recognized that early. I didn’t understand why I became a target merely for being in the vicinity of others, but it is a recurring pattern.
It would require someone with no memory of any of that othering and exclusion and special treatment (undesired as a general rule, often forms of bullying) combined with a complete lack of thinking how the past and the future are tied to being different enough to not fit in, to not fear for your future. All the special treatment as a result of being different closes doors, far more than opening them.
A major issue isn’t merely that of being clearly different, but how non-autistics decide that you’re less than them, in what you can do, and what you should be allowed to do: they’re gatekeepers of your rights, and you can’t reasonably do a damned thing to prevent that, and you know it. As soon as you attempt to assert your rights, especially if you’re doing it physically, you are labeled as the aggressor and put in your place with labels as a result of already being different, having almost a perfect certainty of various names/labels being used to insult and control you.
The observation from my lived experience is once you’re in special education (and difficulties with trying to be not-autistic will get you there, even without issues that aren’t a part of being autistic, that often are part of your divergence) the IEP and school system has more control over what you can and cannot do for classes and directions of study, and someone will pigeonhole you into classes and classroom environments according to their whims, and those aren’t always actually in your best interest.
For example: I grew up in Rochester, MI and a relatively large high school of 2000 students. Who gets put into special education classrooms?
1. Those with learning disabilities ( I’m a bit dyslexic)
2. Those with issues that get in the way of school work for motor issues (something I will always have, poor fine and gross motor skills, I can’t physically write well or fast, I’m unemployable for dexterity-related work, I can’t do it fast enough or well enough, learned that on the job)
3. Those with behavioral problems (you name it, it’s there)
4. Emotionally-disturbed kids.
That’s the environment I had to deal with. The term for the classes being different, on the report card, in Rochester is AS (Adjusted Studies).
Ending up in special education is not the end of the world, but it does tend to result in a notably smaller world being available. It comes with a lot of stigma. If you thought your standing within the class and school was bad before, you’re absolutely toast once it’s clearly visible you’re in those classes, as everyone will know which classrooms they are, and you will be seen in them: there is no escape. Those classrooms also stand out because they are going to have fewer students in them.
Granted, I graduated in 1989: perhaps it has changed in how things are done where I grew up. Perhaps they’re having special aids individually assigned to special ed students and they’re otherwise in the mainstream classes, with the aids being present. I don’t know what’s worse.
I hope this provides the insight you previously lacked.
I’m an autistic adult, 52, and I wasn’t diagnosed while still in school.
But, for many reasons, I had various issues that got me into special education, and frankly, at least some of that was a side-effect of parts of that: I have a number of things where I’m divergent.
Here’s the thing to keep in mind regarding fear: I’ve always been very distinctly othered and excluded, and targeted as a result of my nature, and I recognized that early. I didn’t understand why I became a target merely for being in the vicinity of others, but it is a recurring pattern.
It would require someone with no memory of any of that othering and exclusion and special treatment (undesired as a general rule, often forms of bullying) combined with a complete lack of thinking how the past and the future are tied to being different enough to not fit in, to not fear for your future. All the special treatment as a result of being different closes doors, far more than opening them.
A major issue isn’t merely that of being clearly different, but how non-autistics decide that you’re less than them, in what you can do, and what you should be allowed to do: they’re gatekeepers of your rights, and you can’t reasonably do a damned thing to prevent that, and you know it. As soon as you attempt to assert your rights, especially if you’re doing it physically, you are labeled as the aggressor and put in your place with labels as a result of already being different, having almost a perfect certainty of various names/labels being used to insult and control you.
The observation from my lived experience is once you’re in special education (and difficulties with trying to be not-autistic will get you there, even without issues that aren’t a part of being autistic, that often are part of your divergence) the IEP and school system has more control over what you can and cannot do for classes and directions of study, and someone will pigeonhole you into classes and classroom environments according to their whims, and those aren’t always actually in your best interest.
For example: I grew up in Rochester, MI and a relatively large high school of 2000 students. Who gets put into special education classrooms?
1. Those with learning disabilities ( I’m a bit dyslexic)
2. Those with issues that get in the way of school work for motor issues (something I will always have, poor fine and gross motor skills, I can’t physically write well or fast, I’m unemployable for dexterity-related work, I can’t do it fast enough or well enough, learned that on the job)
3. Those with behavioral problems (you name it, it’s there)
4. Emotionally-disturbed kids.
That’s the environment I had to deal with. The term for the classes being different, on the report card, in Rochester is AS (Adjusted Studies).
Ending up in special education is not the end of the world, but it does tend to result in a notably smaller world being available. It comes with a lot of stigma. If you thought your standing within the class and school was bad before, you’re absolutely toast once it’s clearly visible you’re in those classes, as everyone will know which classrooms they are, and you will be seen in them: there is no escape. Those classrooms also stand out because they are going to have fewer students in them.
Granted, I graduated in 1989: perhaps it has changed in how things are done where I grew up. Perhaps they’re having special aids individually assigned to special ed students and they’re otherwise in the mainstream classes, with the aids being present. I don’t know what’s worse.
I hope this provides the insight you previously lacked.
@mariochavez32121 see my reply, messed up editing on an iPad via regular website.
About nine. But I didn’t believe it until just the last few years.
We hope that you are doing well now, Lacy. 😊