This video is hard because every one of these questions makes my mind say “I bet that’s something absolutely everyone experiences at some point, it can’t be just me”
I used to think that too, even as I went to a psychiatrist I thought to myself that I was probably just overreacting, turns out I wasn't overreacting and that I'm actually autistic. Now that I have a diagnosis and I'm getting help, things are starting to make sense. (Also sorry, I'm bad with words)
@@marymerkael6527 Don´t be sorry. I actually went to therapy and that happened to me too. I felt stupid for going, like I don´t need help, I'm just overreacting. Guess I'll have to keep looking for help. Thanks for sharing your experience!
20/25 of these applied to me, and my Mom has thought I have it since probably around the time I was around 20 or so, but I feel like a lot of it overlaps with other things that I have been clinically diagnosed with like for example my Depression, Social Anxiety, emotional inhibition, self isolation, etc. Also one thing my Mom seems to point too aside from the social stuff is my inability to do basic addition like it makes no sense to me without paper to write on, and also she points to the odd things I'm into, but nothing I'm into is all that uncommon like I love Horror, Metal music, Comics, Books, video games, movies, and I might be kind of obsessed with Supernatural, okay maybe I'm extremely obsessed with that show, but none of it is really that niche or odd a lot of it is common Among a lot of people. Sorry for the long comment btw
Why would you be concerned with relating to this? There isn't anything wrong with being an aspie or high functioning autistic - just means we're diversified in our psyche compared to most. Be proud!! I take positives from know I'm different!
I often struggle in social situations when a conversation involves more than one or two other people. It seems as if everyone else knows when to talk and fits their responses into the conversation without talking over each other. What usually happens in groups of more than 2-3 is I just observe and don’t speak or I accidentally talk over people, generally responding to something after the topic has moved on. It’s really embarrassing. It takes so much energy to be in social situations unless I have one safe person to talk to.
Yes. Can only focus on one person at a time. Seems like they compete. I’m trying to listen to what they are saying. Can’t hear or process more than one conversation at a time.
@@ravenmeyer3740 I say that is normal human nature, NOT autism. People wanna slap a disease or disorder on everything. Also just plain life, life is NOT perfect and people are NOT perfect. I don't understand why people want to call autism when a person is NOT PERFECT. NOT A SINGLE PERSON IS PERFECT. People have flaws or weaknesses somewhere, just because some people can do something and others can do not mean autism. Just because many people can and we can't, we are autistic? NO, LIFE IS NOT PERFECT!!
When you asked "do you struggle with communication with other people?" I just caught myself thinking "no you see, for *I* have a system!" and I think that pretty much speaks for itself.
Can I just validate that that exact same thought popped into my head with that exact same question. Thank you for catching your own trained response there, it helped me do the same.
This list is me almost 100% Bonus question: in conversation do you often feel that you don’t know when the right time is to start talking- either that you are always starting to speak at the same time as someone else, you find yourself talking over the top of people accidentally because they weren’t finished, or you never get a word in.
Yes, absolutely, and much more so in a group conversation. Navigating the social dynamics of a group is basically an impossible challenge, so I sit in silence nearly all the time. But, if I do that, I'm no longer successful at appearing normal. So, I dread being around any group of people.
I was 25 when I finally figured out that when someone asks 'how are you', that they really didn't want to know - that is was basically a social nicety. I always got odd looks when I would tell them exactly how I was and why, good or bad. I found this extremely odd - why ask someone how they are doing if they really don't want to know. I thought to myself hey if I missed that, there must be other things I'm missing.
Same here! I was SHOCKED that people use that as a conversation starter and want a response of positive content like "Fine" or "Well" and NOT the truth.
for me now when people ask I don't often know how to respond, i wait for them to move on cause all i know is, nobody actually means it... but then i find out this specific person meant to know about my well being. So stressful
It's also a cultural thing, because in rural Europe, so to speak, the normal thing is to speak about something good (or bad) that happened to you lately even if a stranger
Ive always loved the Jackson Browne lyric: "Maybe people only ask you how youre doing because thats easier than letting on how little they could care." I also tend to respond to the question literally. Then when I ask for a similar response the other person usually says "fine" and makes a beeline for the exit. Like you, I was in my mid 20s before I got diagnosed. Parents of our generation were terrified of any suggestion that their child was "not normal" so if you had a very attentive parent you were probably taught to mask, from an early age. Anyway, even though I made it to my twenties without anybody really "noticing", for me the diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder was simply a "Duh ... thats obvious" moment, like looking for your eyeglasses and realising that youre wearing them. It was such exhasusting effort to constantly follow the rules that my parents taught me about how to "fake it", that there was never any question about whether my brain worked differently from others. I just had never figured out the REASON.
I'll be 80 next month - figured out only last year that I'm well onto the spectrum. Tests confirmed it. I did so after three of my nine grandchildren were diagnosed with Asperger's and I clearly saw my own behaviors in them. For me it was a relief to figure this out as it has helped me understand so many of my life's decisions and confusions. I am long retired and able to live my life happily in my rigid routines and limited social interactions. It's lovely.
I want to see a doctor or I want to talk to friends or family about it but I’m terrified that they’ll think I’m faking it and making it up for attention
Go to a specialist and have it checked for yourself. The opinion of others on that matter doesn't really count. I used my diagnose only as a guide on how to succeed in a system, that wasn't really build for me. I rarely ever speak with others about it, really only when my condition could affect them in any way. Although there was a time, when I wanted to tell everybody (I found it very relieving to finally know "what's wrong with me" and I wanted to share it). And I often experienced people not believing me (because neither am I "retarded" nor "Rainman"), but I don't really care anymore.
Talk to a specialist who can accurately give you a diagnosis. Mental disorders are real and it shouldn't be something you assume you have without someone certified to confirm it with you or not
Fuck this whole "specialist diagnosis", thats only for the NT people, but if you are an aspie, you know how you feel, and that's enough for our comunnity. I spoke about it to my brother and my mother. My brother gave me a really nice ear plug this year, but when we had this conversation he was all "are you sure?" "oh, you should talk to a psychologist" , and so I did, and 3 months later she was still trying to figure out, what was every and each day more obvious to me, because is simply impossible for an aspie to not do some research about aspergers when you finally know why you were so "weird" and left alone your whole life. I talked about it with only one friend of mine, and she was aswell doubting me. We can't blame them, we passed our lifes learning how to fake, and now we are adults that can somehow fit into this NT world, and our friends nly know our masks, our facades. Thats anybodys fault at the end of the day.
@@BeccaBuckLebowski if you're in the US, if you get a formal diagnosis are you required to disclose it when jobs ask if you have a disability? A lot of the ones I apply to ask and specifically list autism
Anxiety causes you to feel these things too and because most people are anxious and self-conscious now and again, these things can be normal experiences
@@namssap I'm not sure if you are saying this because you are actually Autistic, or because you want to devalue the message of the video, or because you really do not understand the depth and severity of what he's saying.
As a doctor, diagnosed at 39, I found the biggest camouflaging factor was that I was extremely good at understanding emotion, far better than my peers. Whilst all of the other factors on this list were largely true, and with a reasonable education in psychiatric medicine, (and of course with 20 years of health care and personal depression/anxiety experience) I would be quite sensitive to acute but subtle changes in tone, macro and micro-expression. Plus I could use my misunderstanding of the disconnect with what was being displayed and what was being said as a form of 'intuition' to ignore reported affect and focus on effect. Since my diagnosis I have felt at liberty to offer a quick disclaimer that I will likely be blunt due to being neurodivergent and then drilling through the 'bullshit' to the point, where we can start dealing with it. It seems to resonate with people. They come back I guess... On the more important note, coming to terms with neurodivergence also made the experience of depression and anxiety a thousand times less distressing. And now my wife has a better understanding why I come home from a day seeing people and need to jump straight on a computer game or have extended sleeps. Much more than when I worked in procedural medicine such as Emergency or Anaesthesia, where the risks and decisions were much higher but the interpersonal requirement was much lower. Fascinating it took this long to be diagnosed in hindsight....
I don't think an autism diagnosis should excuse you from politeness. Even though it's natural to be blunt, not caring about hurting someone's feelings isn't something to be proud of. Also sounds like your wife is taking shit from you that she shouldnt.
@@PrincessMicrowave You're neither qualified to comment or know enough about me to do so. You've made two assumptions from a short excerpt of my life, a) that I am blunt with my patients without being wholistic or supportive, nor care about their feelings, and b) that my wife is unhappy with my part in our relationship and or that I treat her poorly. You've done this presumably to feel superior and or insightful. Your conjecture has grossly missed the mark on both counts border-lining on slander. I don't know how you could have expected your comment to come across as anything other than insulting. Leave psychological analysis to the professionals. I am done discussing the issue with you now, you may not address me again. Kindly fuck off.
@@PrincessMicrowave Being blunt is not synonymous with being rude. I would much prefer my doctor to be straightforward or blunt. After all, a doctor's visit is not intended to be a social gathering. Also, you've made a rude (not blunt) assumption about his relationship with his wife that has no basis. Sounds like autism is triggering for you and maybe you should ponder why that may be?
I have never been diagnosed with anything, but I know I train myself to be good at many of those things that others learned to do as a baby, but I seemed to have missed. some of those learned skills I think I do the task better than those that learned it as a baby, but still for me it is a task I learned.
I'm seventy and just finding out... Thought I was just depressed and had unexpected panic attacks. It's a bit late to do anything about it now, like others I assume, I have my coping mechanisms....
I don't see it as being uniquely different, every single person is different but they often try and put on a mask to fit in with society, some are better than others, some have more willpower to carry it on, and some simply don't give a shit. If someone truly likes you as a person it shouldn't matter how long of periods are between your connection, connections just don't break, if we liked someone in the past and they come up to us with an issue months later do you just say you all of a sudden don't like them and say no? Do we stick to the stereotype that people lack eye contact because something is wrong or they're lying? Several people's brains are wired toward visual thinking that loses sight of their thought focusing on too much around them that leaves a distant gaze. Do we become bored and do things like lightly dance or tap around when nobody is looking? What about those who don't care if anyone is looking or what they think? It's our jobs to keep us happy in our own way, it isn't a 'cope' and that's an excuse, that's healthy nature to be ourselves, maybe everyone else is scared to do the same. There's just too many variables, and quite frankly if you really think about it everyone has a weakness and strength, nobody is perfect, and everyone is on a level of autism.
The thing that drives me crazy is somebody saying ‘you make eye contact so you’re not autistic’. I make eye contact because I’ve taught myself but it’s not natural. Plus, not everybody is the same so just because one person might do or not do something, that doesn’t always relate to everybody.
i didn’t start doing it until i was trying to figure out how to appear more confident to be liked more and eye contact is always mentioned so i started making sure i did it but it’s always a conscious thing and i’m always over analyzing how i’m doing it like “oh i need to make sure i’m not doing it for too long or it’ll be weird but still enough that they know i’m interested, also ew this feels awkward,, floor-eyes-floor-eyes”
I also taught myself to make eye contact and to speak and try to stay alert to not go back into my private world around people like most of my life. Learned how to pretend to be interested in others, how to pretend a lot of things.
1. Have you always felt different to your peers? 2. Do you worry about 'not being believed' when you tell others about yourself? 3. Do you adopt different mannerism when home alone? Things that you wouldn't do in public? 4. Do you have 'gaps' in your skillset? Some simple things others do naturally but you can't? 5. Do you like to be prepared? And dislike last minute changes? 6. Are your routines sometimes seen as ' extreme' or 'odd'? 7. Do you like to focus on ONE thing at a time? Because it take a lot of efforts to 'shift gears'? 8. Do you go through cycles of hyperproductivity? And then burnout? 9. Do you struggle to hold down jobs? Friends? Relationships? 10. Do you have trouble expressing what you really mean? Especially under stress? 11. Are there some common type of communication you find extremely difficult? or uncomfortable? 12. Are you sometimes gullible? Struggling to tell whether people are being serious or not? 13. Do you often wish people would say 'what they mean'? And get angry when they dont? 14. Are you particularly sensitive (or insensitive) to some things? 15. Does this lead to significant discomfort in some types of public places? Or in participation in social activities? 16. Do you feel like dealing with the outside world can be difficult and stressful? 17. Do you often notice things others dont? 18. Are things that are obvious to others 'often' not obvious to you? 19. Do you have uncommon interests or passions? That others just don't get? 20. Do you find dealing with people difficult? Or confusing? 21. Do you feel like it YOUR job to fit in? If you want to make friends? 22. Are you constantly worrying about 'doing the wrong thing' socially? 23. Do you often feel 'overwhelmed' by other people's emontions? (or not feel them at all) 24. Are you often surprised when people tell you what they've been thinking or feeling? Because you had no idea? 25. Have you received other labels or diagnosis? That didn't quite seem to fit?
Raf Warner most who may be “diagnosed” as autistic would be greatly served to take a break from the internet and maybe go on a long trip/vacation to see more of the world/country. I can’t imagine what people “classify” as autistic today would be prevalent if one were to grow up on a farm without WiFi.
@@alephnull7410 I don't use social media, I only use UA-cam to be honest because I'm trying to learn French. I don't like to get out of my house, and I can't afford any kind of trip right now, so... Anyways, thanks for your reply.
@@alephnull7410 Amen to that! To everyone else... I think most children could be diagnosed because face to fact human interaction is no longer the norm. As well I think most of the people here on YT that I've seen tonight have been misdiagnosed as Autistic, but are just typical individuals a bit off in their own land. Sarcasm isn't innate. It's learned, I think people forget that. I remember being introduced to sarcastic remarks and I couldn't understand them as a child, but I learned how sarcasm is used to tell someone off or just make an ironic joke. You don't just wake up trying to humorously deceive people. If I grew up in a different place I might not understand it at all. Some cultures don't do sarcasm, but those individuals can learn how sarcasm is used and deploy it if they see fit too. Not knowing everything or understanding what to say isn't abnormal either. My friend's father died... How do you respond other than offering condolences and sharing the good times you remember being in their company you can't say much. These things are hard for anyone. Small talk might be what they need depending on their personality they may prefer to sulk for a while in isolation. If it's been a week call let them know they're missed don't mention the deceased they know what you mean anyway. Engagement is complicated and it's really telling that the "that's Autistic" meme doesn't make sense to some people. By the sound of it basically everyone is Autistic by these new super broad definitions encompassing ASD and by the man in this video who alleges to have been diagnosed with ASD. ASD is a clinical diagnosis meaning there is no test that proves you have it. A team of doctors diagnose children including a neurologist and psychiatrist (based on very broad and ill-defined symptoms) and then poof you're Autistic! Being diagnosed as an adult sounds much more sketchy.
VariantAEC You make very good points about sarcasm. High level sarcasm is a product of an irony driven culture that dates back to the 90’s and then the subsequent technological boom. Virtuosic sarcasm as a skill set is an important tool on the internet but real life is not “IRL”, it is simply real life and virtual knowledge should not have power to describe physical knowledge. Your comment starts with saying “face to face interaction is no longer the norm”. You are correct but that is a serious problem in order to make it in the world as a complete human being. Basically everyone is starting off very behind in their mental health growing up in society that promotes technology as modern day religion. Face to face interaction is where a pure formation of interior can be realized in individuals. Technology produces a kind of meta filter on this process even outside of its use. Just existing in a world with technology has a distorting effect on real human growth and connection. Hence the arrival of memes as a primary youth culture narrative of the highest order. Where previous generations took to the streets to provide voices that society recognized as the “voice of a generation” memes are complex and compact cyber notions that never escape their pixelated world but rather draw the human psyche closer to virtual dissociation then much needed internal realizations built on true intimacy. “Ok boomer”, there is a meme that can be attached to any physical phenomena thereby reducing existence to nothing more than low level discourse. This behavior is promoted in contemporary culture yet it is fundamentally skewed.
My father was diagnosed with severe ADHD as a child. After watching many of your videos and evaluating my own life and my father's; I am certain that it is not ADHD. My father was given Ritalin at a very young age and it's led him down a life if addiction. That coupled with his defiant behavior towards anyone in authority over him has led to him living on the streets. Maybe if he was given therapy for his behavior, rather than drugs, he'd be a lot better off. He's very intelligent and creative, but he is horrible socially. He's quick to anger and absolutely refuses to accept anyone in authority over him. He refused to have me evaluated as a child, because he didn't want me to have a life like his. I know he did it because he thought it was protecting me. My life is not impacted the way his is. I may come accross as rude from time to time because I don't know when to be sympathetic; and I may have a strict routine I stick to everyday; and I may have given up on trying to fit in; and I may not like socializing most of the time, but I am able to accept the world works the way it does and I'm not raging against it, trying to make it change for me. I'm sorry dad. I hope you're okay out there.
Well if he did have ADHD then the drugs would have helped him (though, treatment with both medication and therapy is generally most effective). The real unfortunate thing was his misdiagnosis, as well as the people around him not recognizing his addiction for what it was and treating it before his life took a bad turn. I’m sorry that your father was not given adequate treatment. I only said the beginning because there is so much anti-drug sentiments regarding treatment for those with ADHD that it can actually be hurtful for those of us that need it. The stigma is very prevalent, I see so many posts on Reddit of pharmacists denying someone their prescription written by their doctor.
I am 73 and fulfilled 99% of your criteria for autism. It has been a long, hard road. Diagnosis was unknown to the general public when I was a child. Now I am retired I can stay away from people, except for very short periods. Such a relief!
I was a hyper verbal child, speaking in full sentences extremely young and always praised for how bright I was but also constantly yelled at to “be normal” with some weird and sometimes even gross habits. I was terrified of balloons and loud noises, extremely picky eater, always struggled making friends, was very immature for my age, had difficulty telling fantasy from reality. Had an insane memory where I would memorize the dialogue of episodes of He-Man or My Little Pony yet struggled in math. Again, seen as weird because I had a knack of memorizing things out of books and repeating that information (whether fact or fiction). Became obsessed with metal music as a teenager, still obsessed with fantasy and horses although I always seemed to struggle as a rider, always seemed less coordinated than everyone else., yet I had pretty much all the mid 90s dressage tests memorized. Couldn’t do sports in school because I was so clumsy and uncoordinated, had extreme difficulty with high school math (almost failed) but breezed through ELA, foreign languages and social studies. Could spent hours looking at maps. Always felt that I was putting on an act, like I had to act like everyone else and frustrated that it came to normal to everyone else while I struggled. As an adult, usually had boyfriends or husband yelling at me about “I don’t understand how you can (insert smart person thing here) but can’t do (usually simple housecleaning task)!” Struggled to keep relationships and jobs, went through job interview after job interview and only got hired when I was the only candidate. Was often overwhelmed at work. I was a teacher and struggled with planning lessons and keeping up on everything. Husband died and I had a miscarriage soon after and I lost my teaching job because I was so stressed out. Fast forward and two subsequent boyfriends kept yelling that me that I take things too seriously, too literally. “I don’t understand how you can learn a language in 3 months but can’t figure out how to work a gas stove!” “Why do you have to shows from the 80s memorized?” “You’re like a space alien trying to be a human,” I still have extreme difficulty with executive functions like paying bills and filling out paperwork. Fast forward more and finally got back to substitute teaching, then I was offered a job as a paraprofessional at a district, telling me that I would be working 1 on 1 with autistic students. Ok, desperate for a job so sure. Then it hit me. I am these kids. I could finally see how I looked to outsiders and how I came across. And one 3rd grade teaching laughed way too hard at me and two high functioning autistic students arguing about dragons. But it all finally clicked and fell into place: my weird habits and skill sets, my inability to function socially and my own struggle to be normal. And I answered yes to just about every question on your quiz
To ourselves, we are either really special or we are not. There seems to be no particular ideal, or normal when it comes to human beings. We are miracles. Each one of us is like a tiny galaxy operating a storyline that has a past, present, and future. Being different is normal.
yeah, I just got diagnosed with autism (from a physiologist) and when I was little I had an imaginary land full of budgies and otters and they had a surprisingly VERY catchy theme song and that's all I would do really talk about. when I say little I don't mean 4 or 5. mean 14 :0
Bless you. I truly relate to you and your struggles. It is difficult and one needs tremendous strength to cope with outside world. My daughter and I are part of this journey too. I came to see if my suspicions were correct and my heart broke to peaces. At least we know now.
That feeling of "so I'm not the only one" and "I'm not crazy" is so overwhelmingly soothing as I answered yes to all 25 questions. I'm 24 and I've never been diagnosed. I will seek professional help as my anxiety related to socializing has become so umberable that I've barely left my house in years
I also answered yes to every question. I was lucky to find understanding friends, a good job, and a support system. They were out there. But im still learning everyday. I wish you the best and support you^^
@@turabalikhan1341 For me, while I cannot afford a therapist, it has been a huuuuuge relief, learning about it. At least, I don't feel that much guilt or shame about situations where I blame myself for saying something that I shouldn't have, or not saying something when I totally should have (conditional mutism). Acceptance is the key right, for the time being at least.
@@turabalikhan1341 Many people obviously go undiagnosed for a long time, because it wasn't even considered a 'disease' until recently. But for me, it's more like, I was dealt this hand, less emotional intelligence, for other forms of intelligence. It kind of is fair, so long as I make use of the extra-intelligence elsewhere.
My problem is that I feel like I identify strongly with many of these questionnaires, but I honestly can't tell if I'm just answering the way I think an autistic person would, or if I'm answering genuinely. Other questions like "Do you often notice things that others don't" seem rather psychic-y where they're generalized enough that anyone could relate.
I took that to mean that you notice things that might not bother other people, like for example: When you plug an appliance and it has a high pitched buzzing sound. It doesn't seem to bother anyone else, but it drive me crazy. I can spot a tiny scuff in a piece of furniture that no one else seems to notice or even care. These are not psychic-y whatsoever. (I don't know if I just have extreme attention to detail or if it's something more.)
Good explanation. Now I would say that some do hear annoying noises, but this would be noticing a sound that is so faint that others tune out. Or let's say a light flickering just a bit. You might REALLY can't STAND IT. Or a crooked picture. My eye goes right to a crooked wall outlet or trim. And lights need to be changed, buzzing noises solved or no sleep!
If I am on a bus I will immediately notice if one hang strap is different. I worked in a 13-level building: nobody except me noticed one window on one floor was different. Crooked picture frames, misaligned text etc. all jump out at me. Yet my house is a mess at the mo. Go figure. I scored 13/25 yes on this.
Once, I noticed a gutter was replaced, up there at the edge of a 2-storey house roof, on the usual way home, while I was chatting. And I obviously stopped the conversation to share this extremely important information.
it's that thing isn't it where you can identify with the symptoms of almost anything if there are enough of them and they're a bit vague and open to interpretation.
So I scored 25 out of 25 and I have been suspecting I am on the spectrum. Thank you for this video, it provides so much validation. My very close friend (who is also on the spectrum) often think that we must have been twins at some point in time because we understand each other on a level that other's don't and we often joke and say that "being human is hard". One of the things I struggle with the most is being able to understand why people don't say what they mean.
More questions that I think are important that he didn't mention: 26.) Do you have troubles with sports or balancing? Do you find that you bump into things a lot or are you called clumsy often? Do you have to think about which foot to start with when you walk up a flight of stairs? 27.) Do you have a strong sense of social fairness? If someone breaks the rules by cutting in line do you get angry? Does it upset you when you're trying your hardest to do the 'correct' thing while others don't seem to care? 28.) Do you have tummy issues? All the time? The doctors think you MIGHT have reflux or something low-grade but they can never figure out what it is? 29.) Do some things bring you not just discomfort but actual physical pain? Does dubstep make you feel like your teeth are getting drilled? Does sunlight make you NAUSEOUS? Does eye contact make the back of your neck hurt? Some people just natrually dislike things, but is it difficult for you to even muscle through it? 30.) Do you ever get emotional to the point where you become embarrased later? Do people call you immature or tell you to stop, but you physically cannot stop yourself? Did you throw tantrums a lot as a kid? 31.) Do you ever get so overwhelemed that you just want the world to stop for a minute? Do you struggle to form sentences when you're stressed? Do you grow numb to the world around you and sort of shut down for hours or even days? 32.) Are your joints really flexible? Do your joints pop or ache a lot? Can you contort yourself in was that gross other people out? (sometimes as a form of entertainment) 33.) Are you told you're cold or unfeeling? Do people tell you you have resting bitch face a lot? Do you struggle with feeling things at the right amount or in the right context? Does it worry you that you're not "human enough" sometimes? 34.) Do you forget to perform basic tasks like brush your teeth today or make a meal for yourself? 35.) If a task has too many steps do you often get overhwelmed or forget? Do you try to find ways around a task because it never gets completed when you try? 36.) Do you like repeating phrases you hear on TV or the radio? Do you apply forms of media and litterature in place of a specific feeling or as a metaphor for the situation at hand? Do other people understand what you mean or do you have to explain it? Do you like making fun noises to yourself?
Jesus the more questions I read, the more anxious I get. I'm a functioning person and I never thought there could be something 'wrong' other than my anxiety and depression up until maybe a year ago. All of them questions apply to me. It's really weird.
I always mimic accents, if that's anything lol. Any time I hear an accent other than my own at work, I copy it, usually when nobody can hear me. People probably think I'm making fun of someone, but I'm really just trying to copy their sound
@@AllThoseChickens There's a thing that autistic people do called "chameleoning" where they'll adapt traits and word choice of their peers either conciously or subconciously so they can blend in. I had a history teacher in hs with a Detroit accent and every time I came out of class I sounded like him for like a solid 3-5 sentances before I caught myself. The thing where someone habitually repeats sounds or words they hear is called echolalia its considered a rudimentary communication tool for language development. You see small children do it when they start learning how to talk but most autistic people continue it thru most of their lives to some degree.
@@viccolasvic9461 I feel like I'm not as intense as that, but I do often mirror things. I can tell you I don't remember ever speaking or smiling with a crooked mouth until I watched Heroes in middle school (I think it was my brain trying to mimic Milo Ventimiglia or however it's spelled) Or when I watched Troye Sivan's videos ages ago before he was super famous, I found myself randomly slipping in and out of his accent It's very subtle for me I think idk Edit: And also I use words like "ages," "rather (meaning really)," and "quite" despite being American (we don't really use those)
I've always gotten the complaint that I am "fake". I never realized I was masking. People are always easier to deal with while I mask. Once they see the "real" me they think I am cold and the relationship is usually over at that point.
@@caitychiz6851 yes!! I notice when I get too comfortable with people at the workplace I start to become over the top and then I have to ground myself and consciously only talk when I need to, to make myself appear normal to them again and then it repeats???
Yeah me too! I mean people think fake is bad. But I dont understand why. I mean, if I act weird around people and say whatever I really mean it makes people discomfortable! So why is it bas to say things that I think is apropriate for the situation?
Samantha Browne EXACTLY it’s at work this happens 😂😂😂 I say sorry about it a lot but they say oh it’s ok you’re funny ahah and I’m like yeahhhhhhh my bad you think I’m weird 😩😅😩😅
I’m now almost 70. For most of my life I was a quiet introvert and not really sociable. However in later life I learned to act. By watching others interacting and chatting I’ve gradually learned how. During the last ten years of my working life I got a reputation for being a loud extrovert. Since retiring I’ve been volunteering as a Tour Guide. I entertain large groups of people, but the moment I take my badge off I become off-duty and so change back into my unsociable self.
Yeah, I'm a super quiet person, and I just recently taught myself how to have small talk with other people which is basically just asking the other person questions about the thing that we're talking about. This is only through text though, I cannot for the life of me speak to new people outside of my social group. I've got some learning to do
Hi John! Just wanted to say that I hope you're comfortable with these two versions of youself! Bet every person in those groups you entertain is glad to have you as their tour guide. Actually, now that i think about it, I kind of relate to Valerie's comment too. I try very VERY hard to engage in conversations with new people but never know what to actually say. But hey who knows, maybe in a few years I can get a reputation for being an extrovert too! Hope you have a lovely day/night!
At 50 I find myself wondering how much of my behaviors are practiced coping techniques. 30 years in retail forced me to learn small talk and sales, but I find it exhausting.
I am 30 and have wondered if I was on the spectrum since I was 25. Mainly because I am awkward socially and have enough emotions for 10 people when I'm emotional. After watching your videos I no longer think I am on the spectrum and have a so much greater understand of autism! Specifically your points on childrens experiences on the spectrum and I had absolutely no feelings like that growing up. I think I'm just awkward and tend to be a little more introverted and that's okay! ❤️ Thank you
Some of the most creative people and creative minds in history were considered "awkward." You sound like a very passionate person, something I lack. I say... Harness that passion, find your joy, and turn it into gold! Be the wonderful person you are and shine!
Congratulations, and welcome! When I was in Junior High School I told my parents I might be "partly autistic", but everyone insisted I was normal. Several years ago I went online and took some tests, and I consistently showed up as having Asperger's and Avoidant Personality Disorder. I am 51 now.
I recommend people on the spectrum avoid seeking "professional help" from psychiatrists who are not trained to recognize mild forms of autism (i.e Asperger's) and will most likely label you with a mental illness and medicate you unnecessarily. In my years working in psych' wards I saw a large percentage of patients who were obviously on the spectrum yet this was never picked up by psychiatrists.
Not sure if it relates, with the last couple of doctors I went to to discuss my problems, I seemed to be picking up this attitude of "oh, another lazy individual that wants to get on to benefits". Could just be me reading things wrongly, not sure. I'm guessing that if you want any in-depth professional discussion you need to shop around, and/or pay for it.
Bonzaroo I get that vibe too sometimes but not all providers. Seems to me some of these medical professionals have either compassion fatigue or see their patients as non human. Can make one feel very helpless because you’re going to them to seek very important answers😞 keep going, you may find one that cares.
I recently started working this job with my aunt. It's a very small business, about 10 people in the office-max-at all times. I could go on and on about all the "autistic" experiences I've had in pretty much only a month of working there, but I'm not gonna. Point is, I've been getting closer to my aunt, and one day during lunch (we always eat together, just the both of us) I felt comfortable enough to say "do you remember what I was like when I was little?", to which she replied "yes, you used to smile a lot up until you were two or three. Then you started retracting. But I suppose you were still happy nonetheless." I felt... emotions when she said that, which made me share that I'd been considering the possibility of being on the spectrum. Her reply was eerily brilliant. She didn't move a muscle on her face, she just looked up and said, "yeah... we all are. It's this side of the family. I've known for about 4 years now, after I read a book that deeply resonated with me." I had a gaping mouth face expression at that point. I'd been struggling to find out where "I" came from, and it makes so much sense. My father, my uncle, my aunt, my grandpa, my cousin... we're all a bit odd, to be honest. But it'd never occurred to me. Why me-I'm such an observer! Anyway, we had lunch and she was telling me all about some of her experiences. Being willingly locked in a bathroom stall because she'd noticed a group of a few women coming into the restroom after her, and just desperately waiting for them to leave so she wouldn't have to make eye contact. Masking most of the time during work and everyday social affairs. Her awkward, sometimes lovingly nonsensical approach to some situations-she showed me a picture of myself from a few years ago, it was Christmas. I wasn't even looking at the camera. I just asked "do you always take pictures of your family members when they aren't looking?" to which she grinned really innocently and said "yeah, I love it, I love you guys." and I just felt like laughing. I'd been looking for someone like me to share some of my struggles with, since it's so hard feeling like an outsider all the time. It was soothing to realise that it was so close to me all along, and such an easily reachable person, and the awkwardness makes the interaction... comfortable. Does it make any sense? Anyway, this is the good bit that 2020 has brought into my life so far.
@71SgtMom matter of fact.. Like really wondering? Yeah... I get it. Making it seem like some kind objective truth. I think I get it. That makes sense. He had a shallow understanding of people and love so he made a shallow comment. It was his shortcoming shining through. Still kind of painful. It's like I told my old BF when there was like a bunch of models on tv... "I could never look like that. I'm sorry." And instead of, "I think you're beautiful as you are. That's why I picked you." I get, "I know that. I don't expect you to. I'm not going for looks. You don't have to be a model. I love you anyway." Lol. Thanks. Preciate it. 😒
@71SgtMom no. Sadly... he really didn't think I was beautiful. That was the truth shining through. He slowly revealed his sense of superiority and called me horrible names. He thought I should know my place that I wasn't hot enough to demand respect etc. He told me what to eat, tired to make me do all the cleaning and called me a fat slob...he beat me and choked and shot video of me in humiliating situations. No. He was shallow. He meant he wasn't looking for someone beautiful. He really didn't find me beautiful or worthy of respect. He doesn't look through a lense of love and didn't want a model but was looking for someone to take his sadistic anti-social behaviour out on. Its sad but it's a thing.
I resonate with 24/25. I'm slightly concerned, not because I think anything is wrong with being on the autism spectrum, but because there's a chance that there was something I didn't know about myself. The only one I didn't answer "yes" to is question 25 because I don't have easy access to any sort of medical attention, whether mental or physical. I have had multiple friends who are on the autism spectrum ask me if I'm also autistic, which confused me at first because I was not educated on the subject, but now I know that people with autism often understand each other better than they understand people without autism (or so my autistic peers have told me). I know I should probably go seek some sort of confirmation from a professional, but that would require me telling my parents my concerns, and they would likely brush me off.
Don't know where you live, but do you have access to any hotlines you could call for advice? (Not Nesse on autism in itself, but on how to go about getting an assesment)
I´m over 60 and could answer "no" to only five of these, though I´ve experienced some more than others. When I was young, my behaviour was called being rude and badly behaved, especially for girls. My parents treated me at home, by beating me. It didn´t work. I´m glad people are more enlightened now.
@@elisabird6245 Sorry was just cracking jokes in a neurotypical manner. I know it's an old photo and feigned naivité for amusement. Still, you were a really pretty lady and I'm sure you still are. Sorry you got beaten by your parents.
I cried as I answered each question because I only had 1 no. Doctors will not “test” or analyze me for it because “it won’t change anything” but it could change EVERYTHING. It’s an answer. It could help me get disability help, because I can’t work full time, BECAUSE my brain just won’t allow it and it shuts down so easily when I get overwhelmed.
I feel the exact same way. No one seems to understand that. My family is great but that’s one thing they don’t understand. Like I get so overwhelmed with simple things that it feels like I’m just going to fall over. The best way I can describe it is like being a beginning in a video game being thrown into an expert level without any gear or stats. If that makes any sense.
its so interesting how autism, adhd and anxiety overlap quite a bit. i've got anxiety, and strongly relate to about half of these (liking routine/having routines others might find odd, hating certain forms of communication, having trouble maintaining friendships, behaviors at home that you wouldn't do in public, being both overwhelmed by others emotions and under-reacting to certain things, etc)
I myself don’t know id I have adhd or autism since they both have symptoms that are similar . I feel like that autism fits more with my symptoms and my mom thinks that adhd fits my symptoms more. I want to have one of those test but my mom says it isn’t necessary, so I use these vids to kinda find out. Hopefully when I’m an adult I can finally get a test
@@brickTopia-stopmotion I can't judge your situation but people who love you sometimes seem to think that superficially claiming you're normal makes you more normal. It doesn't. I think if you state your wish clearly and don't play it down, she should support you. I want to suggest not just asking for a test, but having a talk with an experienced psychologist. In my experience it doesn't matter if you have more autism than adhd, but having someone actually listen to your doubts and tell you why that works as it does, helps a lot.
I don't have a diagnoses, but I definitely relate to many of the things that people on the spectrum experience. One that I am growing very tired of as I get older is masking. I am not a very expressive person, so I put on for people all the time. If I don't they think I am sad, or they offended me in some way, or just that something is wrong. When I tell them that nothing is wrong, they never believe me. I can't imagine explaining masking to them. It makes me feel very manipulative.
A ton of these are also ADHD traits, if you combine that with social anxiety due to RSD, childhood bullying and/or effective criticism from adults, you've got half of these. You wouldn't think of them as being similar but it some ways they are.
I got 15 yes and 10 no and a child Psychologist said I had ADHD when I was a kid. My younger brother is thought to be on the spectrum but my family don't want to say that
Are you saying the cocktail of ADHD, RSD (what is this?), with childhood bullying, and effective criticism from adults would produce all the same traits as being autistic?
A lot of these resonate, but a lot of them don’t. I have quite severe social anxiety, and it’s quite hard to know whether that’s the only problem or if there’s more to it.
I honestly to myself identified with 9 of the mentioned patterns. I dont know If that indicates me into the espectrum but I certainly wonder If my extreme shyness is something normal. Since childhood I have difficults of socialization and now as adult I am suffering into Workplace, always anxious and thinking why I am always pointed as the quiet and unproductive weird guy.
I've been diagnosed with GSAD, and nearly, if not all of them essentially describe me. But like you, there are a lot of things about me that are connected to my anxiety, but seem to go deeper than that. I can't tell if I'm highly neurotic, autistic, and/or have APD. It's really confusing trying to just figure myself out so I can get past it all. I'm almost 28 and my life still has gone nowhere 😕 I've tried seeing psychiatrists and psychoanalysts, but I could never really convey who I am to them, so I never felt like they _really_ understood. It's a really long road, going alone, but I'm figuring it out.
As someone who is diagnosed with high functioning autism (Aspergers) I felt inspired to share some of my experiences. These are very strange and specific but I guess this just goes to show you that everyone’s experiences and differ completely • in terms of sensory issues, one thing that I can’t physically stand is the “s” sound through headphones or earbuds, idk why and I know I sound crazy saying that, but it sounds like such a strong grinding sound that I can’t take •I’m really sensitive to the sun in the summer, I get sick from the heat really easily and the light is almost as if there’s pressure on my eyes, and i can only look down, this is very uncomfortable for me and also makes me feel like i can’t see where I’m going and I’m going to bump into something •I often stutter so hard that it doesn’t even sound like English and I have to start all over again, if I’m embarrassed or anxious my words will just mesh together because I just wanna stop talking •if I don’t know what to say I’ll just repeat what someone else just said if I agree with them…this confuses a lot of people •if I get reminded of something really embarrassing when I’m alone, I tick, i usually jerk my head or hum really loud as if I’m trying to ignore the thought •I’m very weird with routines, during covid I developed a routine of doing each step of washing my hands for 5 seconds each so that the whole process adds up to 20 seconds, 5 seconds rubbing soap on my hands, 5 seconds rinsing, and then 5 seconds drying off each hand, I also have to apply my deodorant for 7 seconds •I create routines for everything and anything that I’m repeating, I create and revise these routines while I’m doing them so that I can get things done as efficiently as possible, if I mess it up I have to try to fix it or readjust my routine •if there are multiple colors of anything, I have to sort it into rainbow order, I did this with my clothes, the apps on my phone, all of my colored pencils and even when I eat m&m’s or skittles •a very specific stim that I do, which I also believe happened over quarantine, is that I will trace my finger down my arm or leg and count to 5 (or 10 it depends) then I go in the other direction and count to 4 and I keep going back and fourth until I get to 1, I may even do that pattern within the pattern, and then after I get to one I start again but then start at 4 instead of 5 •I have a terrible habit of talking over people, for the life of me I can never tell when someone is done talking, it’s either that I cut someone off just for them to apologize just for me to say “it’s okay go ahead I always interrupt people” or I wait in a few seconds of silence to make sure their done, and then when I try to speak I realize I’ve waited to long and they start speaking again, this is especially harder in groups so I just don’t say much I hope that others can relate a little, I have so many more things that I realize as I was writing but this is already a lot so I’ll just leave it there lmfaooo
I do the rainbow order thing too! With everything like you said! And I get really surprised/upset when people don't know the order that colors are supposed to be in the rainbow because it's such a simple thing to know for me.
Aww! I'm trying to learn about asperger's because people have hinted to me that I am! Came across your comment and I feel somewhat like this! Anyways thank you and have a wonderful night!
Yep. They used to call us "space cadets", then it was adhd, then Asperger's and now we just go straight to being labeled Autistic. Hard to imagine that back in the day, when we thought it was only the one kid in the front of the class with boogers hanging from his nose, mumbling to himself, who was the "special" one. Turns out probably half the class who were struggling to maintain a C average all had it and just didn't realize it, as well as half the other kids who were getting straight A's...and they were just the Savants. Autism for life💪
When someone tells a story and my mind is blowing up with imagery and taking me off on tangents. About the only thing it comes in handy for is making jokes that are a play on words, as my brain has already pestered me with 3 or 4 different meanings of something someone said (possibly a few sentences ago when I was meant to have continued listening).
Same here, so I'm happy that it's possible to pause it after the questions. For some of the questions my first thought was "No, that's not me!" but when I put myself in a situation where that could appear, I realized that I'm just masking to survive the situation. Yes, I CAN figure out how to behave in most situations in my daily life, but my life is very different to others (because I have been adjusting as much as possible in my enviroment) and even if I had things "made up to suit me" I get sooo tired by a lot of things people seem to do without putting much effort in it...
I'm 71, a crazy old bastard, the one they ask 'What's he doing in there' about. This vid ticked so many of my buttons...how does one know, and beyond the relief of knowing, what does knowing do? I'd still be the odd man out. Excellent and informative production.
I was beginning to overcome a lot of these issues and then the effing pandemic screwed up everything and all of my typical social gatherings were removed from my life.. Now I feel more awkward, isolated, and socially inept than ever before, I feel like a 12 year old trapped in a 27 year old's body, it's absolute torture. I hate it.
When you say "overcome issues", do you maybe mean you were learning to mask your natural traits? Because, if that's the case, maybe the real torture is dissociating from who you really is and the the best way to overcome these "issues" is by accepting them
Don't panic. Don't despair. You're way out of practice is all. Even highly socially skilled people are feeling distanced and clumsy these days because of COVID. Keep seeking out social practice as you were before, but know that you'll struggle and probably make mistakes, but also know the skills will return IF you avoid isolating. Mostly I'm just talking to myself because your comment was like hearing myself. Now that things are "opening up" I have my work cut out for me rebuilding neglected relationships and social contacts.
My dad said one of the weirdest things that happened was when one of his clients at his job diagnosed him with autism (she’s a phycologist). It was weird to him because he’s in his 50s, and has never thought about it because he learned to assimilate to society as he got older. He was definitely called all sorts of things as a kid, but lived in a time and place where mental health was extremely taboo.
@SADIQ IBRAHIM🇬🇧 what the actual hell is wrong with you… do you not understand how the human mind works? There’s nothing that needs to be fixed about your child, you need to learn how to help him.
@@felix_a_fiend My comment is going to be anecdotal, so maybe take it with a grain of salt (and it includes a healthy dose of appeal to authrotiy too); my sister happens to have a masters in psychology AND specializes in autism. Some what coincidental ( wink ) that I have a "high liklihood of being on the spectrum" (and most probably with what used to be called Asperger's. She can't officially diagnose me. As part of her liceses ethics standards, the most she can do is suggest that I get tested ;) ). One of the thnigs I hear her talk about is that all too often the parents of the children she works with are looking to "fix" their child so they'll be "normal." "There's nothing to fix. Different doesn't mean broken."
@@felix_a_fiend Yah i mean who doesnt still out here suffering and diving for fandom content to appease my pain till she releases her fourth novel about grim reapers or smth mxtx's writing style really stayed with me now i cant read anything except for historical fictions that are atleast a bit similar im currently trying to finish 2ha so that i can now dive into more danmei fandoms lololol
I’ve always felt like I was different. Hard to communicate or make friends or keep jobs. I really think I’m on the spectrum and accepting it will make me feel better because there isn’t anything wrong with me. Most of these questions applied to me
“8. Do you go through cycles of hyperproductivity? And then burnout?” the other day i did every single assignment for a class that has been assigned in the past 10 weeks, in a single day. today and yesterday i havent been able to do anything for any class.
woah i havent gotten notifications for this at all lol, its nice to see how some of you guys have had the same experiences! im glad im not alone in this
This happened to me with my art, I would draw about everyday for hours then suddenly I can’t draw anything for an entire week or two it’s like I’m unmotivated and burnt out, I still have ideas but I don’t have the energy to draw it,
I have ADHD and most of those also apply. It helped me notice that despite being different kinds of neurodivergence, they are actually pretty similiar in many regards.
honestly im getting to a point that i think i have both, especially since autism and adhd have a high percentage of comorbidity. I'm diagnosed with adhd, but i don't think the adhd is enough to make me feel like an absolute alien interacting with anyone normal
@@bluebellbeatnik4945 ADHD and autism are comorbid! And they have overlapping symptoms, but they're definitely different from each other. Make sure to get information from trustworthy sources!!
In that they are both imaginary. There's nothing wrong with any of these people. They're just different. But they are good ways to describe some types of people. You should not take drugs for any of this. You should instead find ways of living that work for you.
The issues he's mentioning here probably have been felt a little by everyone at some time or another. What will define autism is how severe you experience these things and how often. A small example: We all have felt misunderstood at one time or another. Very few of us would say we're "always misunderstood". We have all felt anxiety at some time in public; however, for most of us these were isolated circumstances. We don't always feel this way. Autism doesn't suddenly "begin": it fades in. It's a matter of degrees.
"I feel misunderstood but I have friends" Not really a tick in the box for whether you're autistic. "I feel misunderstood and have few or no friends" That's when that question indicates autism.
@@SherrifOfNottingham That's also difficult tho. I feel misunderstood but I have friends. Almost all of those friends are "weird" in one way or the other (ocd, adhd, autism, you name it), so we understand each others issues fairly well. Most of us are terrible at keeping in contact, I'm autistic and adhd so I suck at communicating with people in general. I would say "I feel misunderstood by everyone except my closest friends" would also fit to autism, since most people dislike autistic people for what feels like no reason, but you can still find friends.
No, it's much more basic than that, and it's why neurodivergence isn't accepted. Everyone's felt "a bit left out" or misunderstood. To feel like you don't belong in the actual world is quite different.
Oh !! This really helped me to understand now that I’m an undiagnosed autistic. Now I can show my husband and my parents this video and I strongly relate to these questions. Thank-you so much Paul.
I’ve never been diagnosed but have always related strongly to autistic traits, to me it’s obvious I’m on the spectrum. But I’ve been hesitant to talk about it with anyone as I’ve had a therapist flat out tell me I do not have it.. all of the questions in your video I relate strongly to. The second question especially, I’m afraid I won’t be taken seriously by a therapist
Ask a different therapist. I've been dealing with psychologists and therapists for over 15 years (half my life), and the only conclusion I've reached in that time, is that whatever diagnosis you get or don't get is entirely dependent on which psychologist you ask. Try 5 different "experts" and you'll get 5 different answers - almost as if people and their personalities don't actually fit neatly into nice, neat, labeled boxes, and describing a person's unique personality requires a lot more words than you'll find in any one single diagnosis.
I relate to that! Therapists - so many of them seem they should NOT be therapists. My whole family seems to be on the spectrum. I recognize it immediately, but therapists may only have a bit of training. They don't understand it from the inside!
I ask the same question too. Just know that you gotta have right diagnosis from a professional in order to really know whether this is you or not. Self diagnosis is bs and sad because people struggle to the point where they got the WebMD effect.
UA-cam promoted the most pro-trans videos that existed, and I still had no fucking clue for years., UA-cam knows everything, trust no one, choose one, the red or the blue pill?
The insane amount of effort it takes to appear normal !! Basic stuff takes everything I’ve got. I push myself relentlessly to barely keep up with the demands of life. I’m done with intimate relationships ! Never again, just too hard.
Think about it like anxiety. Everyone has moments of anxiousness, but if it’s a constant, repeated behavior, something you notice often, or of higher than normal severity, then it’s likely you have an anxiety disorder and don’t just experience moments of anxiety. It’s the same thing here. Everyone has had MOMENTS like these, but if you experience these on a regular basis and find that they seem to be happening outside the normal severity of other people, then there’s likely something more going on.
I really relate to most of this things, specially being "gullible" or having a hard time realizing when something is a joke or if it is serious. Also, I've been asked if I "even have feelings" just because it really hard for me to understand other emotions and how to respond properly to them I've always knew I had autistic tendencies But, wow, maybe I'm a bit more than just "sorta Asperger's" I'm going to ask my psychiatrist about it, thanks man
Oof that always hurts. I'm kind of cold to people because I'm just not a good communicator and it's not like I'm trying to be cold or mean but anyways I have definitely gotten a comment along the lines of "do you have feelings". I've also been asked "who hurt you?!" because I wasn't as talkative and outgoing as some people. I actually got yelled that from across the hall at work from a coworker and it was hard to continue my shift like everything was normal.
I speak English and Japanese, and I used to joke with my peers in high school that "sarcasm with a third language I simply can't understand." So this point among others in the video really spoke to me o-o I also found that when people are sad it's easy to sympathize and help out, but when someone becomes angry or furious I quickly shut down thinking "isn't that a waste of time and energy to get angry over (insert reason here)" It's had people question me as well for being psychopathic because I couldn't understand their rage.
Same, sarcasm is like my mother tongue yet in conversation with others I get "whooshed" sometimes and have to ask whether or not something someone said was serious or not
I've had this issue since I can remember. My two siblings always say 'it's a joke' when they say one because they noticed that I always seem confused when they joke.
I am a parent of someone who was just diagnosed and in learning about autism I have slowly begin to think that I am also autistic. The more and more I research the more and more I believe I am. I have resonated with most of what you said here as well as with several other people who vlog about the subject. I would have never guessed but wow. I have sent my child to a school for autism and now I’m finding out that that is what some of my struggles could have been my whole life as well…
well, i got 22 and i have not been formally diagnosed, and i’m under 18, my mother doesn’t believe my speculation that i may be autistic, so for now im going to self diagnose. i just want to know why i am the way i am.
Be careful not to jump to any conclusions. A lot of these are good indicators, but overlap with other disorders. The “spectrum” also dips well into the very broad range of “normal”. While it is really nice to learn about one’s self, and find new ways to conceptualize our struggles, be careful not to view these traits as a disability unless they rise to the level that they have a significant disruptive impact on your life and happiness. Their diagnosis really must come from a well trained and experienced mental health professional who is able to provide an objective and knowledgeable third party perspective. Ideally, there should be cognitive testing and a good exploration of your emotional functioning and history.
I remember always getting confused when talking to anyone but myself, and trying to "just go with it" got me into more trouble than it was worth, so I started being honest with people and telling them "I simply don't understand" and that didn't work either because people, family and friends, or classmates, would call me stupid all the time, despite a 3.7 GPA High honor roll. Ya just can't win with people that are not autistic.
I nailed 21 of the 25, after a 7 hour test from my shrink, he said I was on the spectrum, but didn't say what part, or where, but I actively AVOID noisy areas, loud noises trigger panic attacks, I can't be surrounded by people, that can trigger anger and or anxiety, I have no friends, a tbi, adhd, bi polar, severe anxiety, ocd, impulse control is shot, short term memory goes right out the window when stressed out, I tend to eat the same things over and over again, it's like a comfort, I also have my "good luck charm" that goes everywhere with me, if it's not in my site it triggers panic attacks, where I tear my apt apart looking for it and only calm down once I find it....the way I am, my disability has made my ENTIRE extended family stop talking to me, 300+ people, lost my mom to ALS in 2016, I was totally alone, until I met somebody with epilepsy who understands how I am, esp with a TBI injury on top of my disability, arthritis in all my joints, self hate because alot of the time I find it hard to understand simple directions and get called fu*&king stupid idiot, so I keep to myself and rarely go outside..my life is going nowhere, and my ability to deal with strangers is NOT helping
For me, I can answer most of the questions with yes. I don't know how I can cope better in everyday life. There are many things that make me feel like an alien, do something wrong, or say something wrong. I've always tried to learn from others' behaviors and then imitate them. But that's not me. I feel uncomfortable and prefer to be home alone. No idea how to go on.
I feel similarly. My therapist has recommended that I work on acceptance of myself and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable and anxious. No solutions here but I found instead of beating myself up about how I am, I can be as awkward and uncomfortable as I need to be to do whatever I need to do. Otherwise, I really find myself closing my life in on myself when I start thinking about this and that. I will avoid the things that I need to do. I guess my point is to try to be okay as much as you can with being uncomfortable and taking whatever steps you need to take while out. I feel uncomfortable all the time when I am out, but I'm learning to be okay with that and it is helping me at least get through those things that I have to do.
I hear you . We are different . I spend so much time alone with my cat . I need to get out . Volunteer to people who need help. Old people who have no one . I'm pretty old myself . Hang in there . You are valued .
I think we tend to split ourselves apart trying to connect to each different set up we find ourselves in Re-integrate yourself. Make friends with each part of you that has fragmented off Once you regroup you feel less alone even when you are alone It takes time and practice though
Same here. I'm 48 now and few years back my life went to shit, hardly any help from friend or family. Homeless, broke, you name it. Lived in my van for over a year. Since I found my new love (Girlfriend) things are better, living with her now and she also has a degree of ASD. Anyways I've stopped trying to please others. Best thing is to get into contact with other people with autism.
I am on the verge of tears. At almost 29 years old, I feel like I am finally starting to understand myself. I related strongly to about 20/25 of these if not more. I feel like you literally described me. Although I do not yet have an official diagnosis, beginning to see myself as (possibly/likely) autistic has helped me understand so much about myself WHILE NOT TRYING TO CHANGE THOSE THINGS. I cannot thank you enough for this.
Bottom line is love yourself. Functionally austistic people are special. Elon Musk is on the spectrum and has talked about it. Many austistic people have a higher IQ than general society. Be honest with people...as honest as you can be. I don't really talk about it much. My brother is really 'different' in an autistic sense, has a very high IQ but pretty much tries to fly under the radar. He is very disengaged and I always wished he was more of a real brother to me. My parents dealt with all of us pretty well but little was known many years ago.
Question 21: Do you feel like it's YOUR job to fit in? I've been looking into autism for quite awhile now, and of everything I relate with and have experience with, I think this is the one that opened my eyes the most. All throughout my life I've been asking myself and professionals how I can better fit in, and until now I did not connect those dots. Along with that, an inability to communicate with others when there is no common interest (Q.19) and what I've realised is quite a dull emotional reaction to some things but a very strong over-reaction to others being the strongest for me really stands out to me as what I relate to the most. I've always just called it being an introvert, or antisocial. I was coping, until I wasn't. I think it's time to get support. Thank you.
I answered yes to all of these questions too, but I wouldn't be so quick to jump on the autism bandwagon. I think a lot of it comes down to how encouraging and supportive you parents were at a young age and how many solid friendships you have. When you have low confidence, you will tend to mirror a lot of these same symptoms. I think more people have these "symptoms" than you think
@@ziggyjohnston5302 I wonder if people who sincerely believe they may be autistic are really interested in jumping on the, as you say, ‘autistic bandwagon’? What is the point?
@@johnlong8082 The point is that it puts a label on yourself that has negative connotations in society. Say what you will, but people think less of those who are "autistic". It also limits your capacity and potential because you're putting yourself in a box that has a clear set of predetermined outcomes. People will refer to you as "special" and you won't get the girl or cool friends because people will see that you're playing the victim card and no one wants to be around that. Autism is an over diagnosed condition that also mimics low "self esteem" and other problems that are completely controllable. There are some people that are actually autistic and they are special and should be taken care of. But there are also a lot of people that say "Wow, OMG, these autism "symptoms" explain who I am 100%! I must be autistic!" Just like ADHD, not all who say they have it, actually do. We need to be careful that we're not promoting people to sell themselves short when they have so much beauty to offer the world. People just need a little bit of encouragement
@@ziggyjohnston5302 I think there are those who feel the need to label themselves as autistic for all sorts of reasons. Some people like to feel ‘special’ and it’s a label that they can hang their failures in life on, by way of an excuse. I agree with you about the negative effects that autism can instil in people and the effects it can have on your life. But my earlier comment was more about the sincere person who is not interested in labelling themselves or even seeking a proper diagnosis, but more about making sense of their own life history and learning to understand themselves better. Engaging in these types of forums and videos has been very helpful to me in that respect.
@@johnlong8082 Fair enough. I appreciate your engagement. For those who are truly autistic I completely agree, we should take care of them and/or help them in the best ways that we can. I also encourage you to look into the data on how frequently autism is over diagnosed. Pretty scary
You could have a lot of the symptoms and still not have autism but it is good to look into it! Everyone experiences autism differently so you could have it your whole life without really realizing it.
I fit in all. I'm Brazilian. I was diagnosed as a person in the spectrum of autism here by a psychiatrist. And also have ADHD, obsessive compulsive disorder, social phobia disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and depression as comorbidities and binge eating. I guess that's because it took too long to get the diagnosis. I only got it few months ago with 29 years of age.
I have been eating the same thing for breakfast for the last 8 years, by choice. That's normal right? Overly sensitive to light, noise and smell. I hear things no one else hears. I can't stand talking on a phone. I don't know when to talk. Other people chit chat so easily, but I simply don't understand how they do it. More, importantly, I don't see the point. I reply with scripted responses, regardless of what the initial input conversation starter was: "Hi!"... me "Good thanks"... fuck :| My hobbies turn into extreme interests (complete and utter devotion of time, research and practice to one topic at a time... I've decided to push that into a new career, took up programming, and I'm really enjoying it), to the point where I talk about nothing else. My work approached me to pay for my diagnosis. That's good right?
Im sensitive to light, smell and noise as well as repetitive movement in my peripheral vision. I have above average hearing and am sensitive to all manner of signals. We have social dispersion signals that only teenagers can hear in our towns, to stop them for gathering (in the UK). Iam 47 and I can hear them. and they are distressing. likewise with hobbies and interests ...
Am I the only one who has never seen the need to fit in??? I find myself absolutely hilarious and interesting, while most other people are so boring and confusing that I just don't care. It would take too much effort to try and be like them when I think my interests are way more fun and take less energy, even if I'm left with less friends. I wouldn't want any new friends if we're not going to understand eachother. Is that just me???
Kinda sorta. I'm pretty good at entertaining myself, however I still feel lonely. I wish I could just have friends, any friends, even if they don't like what I like. I figure if I could just develop some social skills that wouldn't be as big of an issue. But realistically that just isn't gonna work. I'd still feel lonely, heck, I've been in that situation before.
i remember deliberately choosing to do things that most other people didn't choose because i took pride in being different, mostly because my parents praised me for my uniqueness
No, I can relate, but I am really looking for good friend. Because three are jsut.. Yeah I Mena one is always busy with school, the other one does better with her other friends and the third one... Yeah kinda the same as the second one. I am always worrying if I can find someone new or what I did wrong. Last time I was so scared to not call my friend because I thought she would never ever call me one day and I would loose her.
I am not autistic, but I'm glad this video popped up in my recommendations! 👍🏻 It's very useful and since I'm a teacher knowing more about how people on the spectrum feel is crucial and it can actually really help me in my job and daily life. Btw seems like some of my internet friends are autistic 💜 Thank you for an informative video!
But this is actually VERY interesting! A lot of comments here are wondering if non autistic people also feel those things very often and intense. Could you share with us how it is for you? There is a lot of "Im probably just exaggerating and it's like that for everyone" going on here (myself included!).
@@ravingcuriosity6345 I will......I am not autistic. How I know I am not is I was always described as "weird", "off" or just "strange". The reason, we all called that 20 years ago "thinking outside the box", I also don't think putting a linear system like society inside an already working eco-system called Earth was so smart to do. It shows how weak we truly are, we fear things in the natural world so we needed a false sense of safety and security. So when the same folks who prescribe to such a system I generally have some skepticism attached. Yes I feel things very intensely and sometimes not at all, I sometimes have extreme behavior when I can't reconcile what another person is trying to say because generally its told to me as if I should regard society as a natural system when it is not so the rule set they are using is one that really don't exist unless you believe a man in a white house can cure all the problems in the world or even society when they lie and promise and don't deliver. The rule set is only applicable to a functioning society that still exists, I have several examples of why that don't work, one example was the British Empire that don't exist anymore. We are all just too different for a linear system to work like that. There are times I feel apathetic and can look at something with a fair amount of ease that would disturb another person. But if I am apathetic too long then empathy comes back to collect. I was actually so apathetic when I was younger, around 38 it came back really badly because I ignored it so long. All I could ask my wife was, "why do we treat each other the way we do?" I got an honest "I don't know." back. What I am mostly saying is some emotions I can turn on and off at will, unless it is more extreme. Like the people in Ukraine, I cannot watch that, the reason is an overwhelming sense of empathy and knowing it could have ended on the first day and didn't while the world watched it made me extremely mad. Notice how the extreme actions that are tied to extreme emotions I can no longer control. Hearing about a person dying of cancer is usually more of a passing comment for me, apathy and empathy are both there but I can choose which one to focus on. Seeing a person dying of cancer, nope cannot watch it either, its too sad for me to watch. Also cannot watch people loose a spouse, my own battle with that idea one day happening is why. Normally you should be able to switch between two emotions, its why some of us try a more understanding approach to anger rather than meeting it with anger. Navigating your own emotions cannot be done by anyone other than you, know one knows your mind like you do. Anyone who pretends they do is a liar, even I can't really tell you if you have a problem or not, but the fact you question it tells me you are normal. A person who wasn't wouldn't worry about it, the most extreme example of that is someone like Ted Bundy, you really think he thought out the emotions of others? We executed him....thats how much we believed he did. Its literally people telling others......."No wait, I know your mind better than even you." Which is pretty arrogant for a person to lead another person to believe. Emotions are difficult, its why I cannot believe the atheist approach to there being no God, I cannot measure or explain why humans would have traits like killing their own specie or have any of the emotions from an evolutionary standpoint. It makes no sense for me to believe there is no God when I cannot explain why I have an imagination. Its always kind of stupid in my opinion to abandon the path to scientific discovery, hypothesize, theorize and test. They stopped at hypothesize. So when I considered everything used to explain away God took 1 thing, the universe had to exist, I can't believe their position myself. Can't really use measurements and science from within a universe directly dependent upon it existing first to even work. The real Heisenberg said so in the principal of uncertainty, the more you know about the position of a particle the less you know about its speed and vice versa. Basically, if you focus on there being no God the less you will notice proof there is one and vice versa, its their whole "I'm smarter because I believe the most linear idea in the world and think its open minded when it clearly is not." arrogance that makes me angry with them. Literally double talking like a con artist, "its a non-belief" give me a break, thats totally a con. Root word is conniving, its not a good thing to be, but I guess they think it is. So it goes both ways for both sides, so I can only believe there is a God, I cannot tie it to any ideology when I know it was a human who wrote all of it. Probably piggybacking off the actual authority and power of God, free will and all. Let them make their mistakes and learn from them, seems pretty parental to me and fair. I think its all it ever wanted. Sorry for this section, theology interests me, even if I can't get behind an ideology surrounding a limitless being. Limitless means that, there should be no dogmatic ideology, it just confused a bunch of people. Sorry to hit with so many different ideas and thoughts I really think outside the box the majority of the time. I see the linear way of doing something and try to see other ways to accomplish it with more efficiency. It can fall short if I overlook something as I admittedly sometimes do, I'm human, I haven't ever forgotten that. Thats how you stay in touch with you and everyone you care about. Always remind yourself you are human and subject to human error, saying "i don't know" is the smartest thing a person can say, its the easiest way to know when you don't know something. Reminding yourself you are human, just keeps you grounded in life, it forces you to always remember where you came from and who helped get you there. It's why I still will not curse in front of my mom or dad, I know it all started with their decision, not mine. I like being alive, I owe them for maintaining my life when I was too stupid to do it myself, I owe God for creating the energy that makes up my consciousness. Both acted exactly in the same manner, its another reason I cannot deny God's existence, I would be forced to think what my parents did was a remedial job when I know it wasn't. It appears both worked hand in hand from the start to ensure my existence and survival. Both deserve my gratitude. Thanks for reading.
@@evilcowboy This trend on autism is an attempt at trying to make people believe that anyone who isn't typically programmed for the current vision of society is a sick person. It's so dumb it's funny.
I'm on my journey and have just realized recently I'm on the spectrum. This knowledge has changed my entire life, and the way I see my past and myself! I no longer beat myself up for NUMEROUS things. All of this is labeled as an HSP (highly sensitive person), and an empath, etc., in the self discovery realm. Ty for this validation🤗❤️
I planned to watch this and pause after each question to think genuinely on it. I didn't expect to start crying from feeling so seen, and having my thoughts over my entire life set before me. Thank you, I will keep learning now.
57 years! I found out last December (2019) after reading an article on Asperger's and everything was just me. All the odd things in my life are now explained. I have embraced it and am now 'the asparagus boy' ! Even explains why I didn't talk until I was 3 and a half and then I suddenly started and had the grammar of a 6 year old. I was rather shocked that morning when it dawned on me, but now I finally have that inner peace that comes from getting an answer to that basic question of 'Why?'. I am proud to be me and nothing will ever change that.
My teen self would have answered 23 out of 25 questions with a strong yes. I am happy that now I have found a loving partner and great friends (quite probably also in the spectrum) that allow me to be myself and not worry about being "weird" around them.
first.time i saw this video it clicked for me. i went after a neuropsychological evaluation, 10 sessions of tests. found i'm on the spectrum,.just saw the video again today, a perfect description of me. thank you Paul, you are great
Do you also have a masters degree and a professional job? I’m starting to think I’m on the spectrum but I can’t believe it because I have 2 degrees and a Pastor lol
@@rev.e.regisbunch4097 I have a master degree, it's easy when it's your special interest. however I had many problems with my teachers and the 'obligatory' stuff that academy expect of us. I dont have a professional job. I work as a dogwalker and I have an youtube channel about my special interest... I can't keep with jobs and deal with people... you can be autistic and a pastor, because it's not social interaction, it's monologue
@@rev.e.regisbunch4097 It is not related, bro, many in the spectrum have degrees and all 🙃 autism doesn't mean "stupid" or "definitely unable to achieve more than others". Depends on the person, some find it more difficult than others, sometimes related to autism, sometimes not. I, for example, have no degree yet, but it is not because I can't, it is because the old man is nuts about religion to the point of calling the outside world a "contaminated area" and the schools are outside...so he kept me and my brothers from studying. Now I have to study in adult school, I was in adult school equivalent of high school when pandemic started. So it definitely depends more on each person and their opportunities and life situations than on autism.
i've never felt so recognized / understood -- i cried watching this video just thinking "wow, so there really are other people like me?" this is such an amazing feeling for me. my mind has been blown. thank you :)
ADHD has a fair bit of crossover too. Eg. Hard to change contexts (takes a while), feeling different, hard to do things. But also trauma from abuse can make a few of these things seem true or be who you are. Not being sure the real you is ok to show people, is part of that; expecting that people won't understand or care about your feelings, or value you
Exactly.. how I feel. But how do you know if you've masked for so long . I just thought a lot of me was because of my childhood. I have just been diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 55 and am feeling overwhelmed. Someone said I might have it years ago, but I didn't think I had it because I looked after teenagers with high function ADHD and autism. I was comparing myself to them, so I thought, what the hell are they on about. I have still not met anyone who is like me.. I don't even know what me is no more. I've tried to fit in most of my life and can fit in with anyone because of my job as a support worker in the past. This is all new to me, and I am trying to find out stuff as I am waiting for a therapist or some kind of help as since I've stopped working, I've gotten worse. 🙃
1 - Yes. Always. For as long as I can remember I have felt fundamentally different from other people, even people who, theoretically, I should relate to on a deeper level than most. They just don't connect. I often tell people that I feel like an alien or a robot, not a human. 2 - I'm not entirely sure what you mean? I guess I don't tell people about myself very often. 3 - I used to be very, very different depending on who was around. I was a different person with certain friends, peers, teachers, I was different at home around my family and different when I was alone. Nowadays, I try not to be so varied. I try to take my personality with me everywhere I go, no matter who's around. I stim both physically and verbally in public, now. 4 - I sure do! I still can't multiply numbers. Addition, subtraction, and division are all pretty easy, but for some reason multiplication is very hard. Does that count? 5 - I actually get very angry with people when they spring things on me that I'm unprepared for. If someone suddenly tells me that there's something I have to do, that I was unaware of, even if it's "easy" or "quick," I get really upset. Don't surprise me! I don't like being surprised!
Meeting other people on the spectrum is how I discovered my own autistic identity. My (now) wife was the first person to suggest I might also be on the spectrum, and as I came out publicly I ended up helping others in my social circle reach the same conclusion about themselves. At this point a majority of my friends are autistic, and the friends who learned about their autism from me are now helping their own friends discover this about themselves - turns out we often recognize and gravitate towards one another, even when we don't yet know to call it "autism" or "aspergers". Being able to un-mask with other auties has been so healing for me, and little makes me feel as warm and compassionate as seeing another autistic person, often undiagnosed, meeting other accepting autistic folks for the first time. Like *YES*, *PLEASE* continue telling me about your interest in giant isopods! Your excitement is beautiful! It's okay to be "weird" here and your joy brings me joy as well!
If you like reading: 1:have you always felt different to your peers? 2:Do you worry about not being believed when you tell others about yourself? 3:Do you adopt different mannerisms when home alone? Things you wouldn’t do in public? 4:Do you have gaps in your skill set? Some simple things that other can do easily but you can’t? 5:Do you like to be prepared? And dislike last minute changes? 6:Are your routines sometimes seen as extreme or odd? 7:Do you like to focus on ONE thing at a time? Because it takes a lot of effort to shift gears? 8: Do you go through cycles of hyper productivity? And the burnout? 9: Do you struggle to hold down a job? Friends? Relationships? 10: do you have trouble expressing what you really mean? Especially under stress? 11: Are there some common types of communication that you find extremely difficult? Or uncomfortable? 12: Are you sometimes gullible? Struggling to tell if people are being serious or not? 13: Do you often wish people wouldn’t say what they mean? But get angry when they don’t? 14: are you particularly sensitive or insensitive to certain things? 15: Does this lead to significant discomfort in some types of public situations? Or in participation in social activities? 16: Do you feel like dealing with the outside world can be difficult or stressful? 17: Do you often notice things that others don’t? 18:Are things that are obvious to others not obvious to you? 19: Do you have uncommon intrests or passions? That others just don’t get? 20: Do you find dealing with people to be difficult? Or confusing? 21:Do you feel like it’s YOUR job to fit in? If you want to make friends? 22:Are you constantly worried about doing the wrong thing socially? 23:Do you often feel overwhelmed by other people’s emotions? Or not feel them at all? 24:Are you often surprised when people tell you what they’ve been thinking/feeling? Because you had no idea? 25: Have you revived other labels/diagnoses? That didn’t quite seem to fit? Ik there are lots of people who like reading better than listening out there, here you go!
I’m 48 and I answered an immediate yes to almost all these questions and a 90% maybe on the rest. I’ve always struggled socially. When I was growing up in the 80’s, I was always the weird kid, the outsider. I did have friends and I was involved in activities with kids my age but I still always felt weird. I was never good at sports. I did things like marching band and Boy Scouts. I loved studying languages and was fascinated by science and history but hated math and really struggled with it even though I was getting A’s in every other class and was an honor student. I wanted to be a neurologist but when I went away to college I really bombed. I had a really hard time socially and did not do well at all academically which was very frustrating and shameful to me. I did graduate in 4 years however but had difficulty finding and keeping a job. I decided to go to a technical school when I was 24 and studied computer networking. I did really well and was top of my class. I even passed certification exams which if anyone has taken them are very difficult. I still struggled with work though. I would take my jobs very seriously and always did my best but could never get a job I knew I could do. I always seemed to be underemployed and still feel that way to this day. I despise job interviews. Grant it, I don’t think anyone likes them but I absolutely can’t stand them. I obtained a masters degree in pharmaceutics and wanted to pursue a PhD. I had excellent grades straight A’s but no program would have me. I couldn’t change careers either. That was really frustrating and had me disappointed for years. I still hold a lit of anger and bitterness towards people and entities who never understood me or tried to understand me and give me a chance. I never had a real girlfriend until I was 40 and got married on my 41st birthday. I could sense that some people were judging me or making fun of me behind my back. This made me very self conscious and really effected my self confidence. I’m at the point now where I don’t give a f- what people think of me and if they don’t like it they can F- themselves. I moved to another state with my wife 4 years ago and now we have a home and a dog. I love it here. This is the best thing I ever did. Still after 4 years here I still haven’t made any close friends. I struggle with trying to keep in touch with people from my home area. I’m a person who while having many struggles also has many gifts. I know I’m smart and more than capable for a lot of things but I have to accept the fact that many people are blind to this and realize that this life is only transitory and temporary anyway and do my best in my own way which may be seen and appreciated but probably won’t be.
This puts my entire life into perspective...We have a 5 year old daughter (not biological) who is diagnosed on the spectrum, and in learning about her, I found I was learning much about myself as well. So much makes sense now...and even though I've been aware of this for about a year, still...listening to this video almost made me cry. Not sad tears...but tears of relief that things finally make sense.
Julie Tate I understand how you feel. My son was diagnosed in middle school and the more I learned about him the more I realized that I too must be Autistic. It took me years to finally go see a doctor but he confirmed what I suspected. My bond with my son has really grown since I was diagnosed and I am so much more comfortable with who I am.
I started crying about halfway through. Uoure not alone. Spending time with my nephew and seeing the similiar idiosyncrasies as others call them that I portrayed at his age was kind of what opened up my heart to truly researching and connecting with the commumity
Exactly . When my son was diagnosed with Aspergers at 28, I cried for 2 weeks . Finally . It wasn't my fault . My husband blamed me . He is still struggling.. And I am on the spectrum also. Always felt different . We are different but not alone .
After researching this for awhile, I’m convinced that I have Aspergers. Unfortunately I didn’t find out until much later, I’m 48 now and to be honest my life isn’t too good. I have a lot of depression from loneliness and constant rejection and therapy has never helped. Thank you for your channel it’s been a big help to me.
I’m 48 and recently convinced myself too. However, I’ve decided to embrace it and live the way I want to even if it doesn’t look appealing to most people.
Hey, now you can try to find someone else with autism to relate to, hang out with, text with or email with!! (y'know, your specific, preferred way of communication like the video said😆) The internet is a wonderful, connected place! Plus, now if you have an idea of what your own ways are, you may be able to find a more specialized therapist that may help you better than previous ones if you're willing to give that another try. At risk of giving a grown, experienced adult unsolicited, unwanted advice.... At 48, you've still got plenty of opportunities to turn things around. Keep an eye out for positive things and it will become increasingly easier spot them and invite it into your daily life. Try identifying limiting habits and intentionally breaking them. I'm not sure what you're dealing with, but something I've dealt with plenty of times that led to MY depression and loneliness was focusing on not doing the wrong things, so I ultimately ended up not doing much of anything and the things I thought would make me cool to do, that I would normally never do, were actually strange and alienated me from others. Try not to care if people like you or not (because so far it hasn't worked anyway apparently) and take a leap and talk to them about what's really on your mind that you might think would be strange to ask them. They might just be really intrigued by your thoughts and think you're pretty interesting. Happened to me. Also, it seems to me that a ton of people with autism are quite analytical (not sure if that's more specifically an Asperger's thing, haven't done all my research yet), and that's natural, so I WOULDN'T suggest trying to squash that down but rather using that to your advantage in social situations and planning ahead a strategy for if you feel anxiety in any parts of a plan. A positively reassuring strategy. Look at the best and the worst ways things could go, be prepared for both, hope for the best, and then say "*uck it, it's now or never"... or something like that.
This describes me to a T. It has brought tears to my eyes. I’ve suspected that i’m in the spectrum for years. I’ve felt and known that I was different my entire life, I’m 54. I often joke with a family member and tell them that I must be from a different planet because i’m not like these earthlings. We don’t process, interpret, understand or explain things in the same way. People don’t get me, and I don’t get many of them. But, i’m super ambitious, hard working, managed to earn a bachelors degree and 2 masters degrees. Always held a decent job and raised 5 children fairly successfully on my own. I successfully faked it to make it. As a child, my behavior was shaped by physical discipline which by today’s standards would be classified as physical abuse. “I was taught, “never let them see you sweat” . Translation, Mask the fear, depression, anxiety, oddities and differences. I became fairly good at imitating the behaviors of others. So much is so clear now. I guess it should be no surprise to me that i’ve spent my life trying to help others navigate through the obstacles and challenges faced in this thing called life. Perhaps the real motivation and desire to study and comprehend human behavior lies in half a century of trying to understand who, why, how, and what I am. I’ve just recently completed my masters in psychology with a specialization in applied behavioral analysis and currently work with children on the spectrum. Wow!
Very *very * strict routines make me so happy and I feel violently depressed and uneasy when I can't repeat my routines the way I like to. Schedules, plans, and time are huge factors for me.
If you're bright, academically able and looking for a career path, some are positively welcoming to autistic people. I was a physicist, then a computer programmer, then an academic (software engineering). All these areas were so welcoming to me, valuing my strengths and not stressing my weaknesses. Being an academic with some teaching and learning duties made me a better actor which helps in unavoidable social situations. My top tips: wear formal clothes every work day even when your colleagues don't. Learn not to care what others think about you personally but listen to what they think about you professionally. I find that hard to separate but it really helps. As I have become older, so my ability to empathise with others has grown. Even so, I am by nature a loner and can count my close friends on zero fingers. I can cope with one close friend at a maximum.
I used to get sooo mad when my mom would interrupt me while I was super-focused on the video game I was playing. Sometimes I'd yell at her and call her names to get her to leave my room. Now I understand why. If only I had known Autism was an option, I would have laid that heavy card down a looooong time ago, and perhaps could have gotten the meds I needed to help me stay calm.
iam so grateful for these comments and this information. this puts my heart at rest. I have felt as if i have masked so well people have not been able to notice. I have had 4 jobs in the last year feel like my life is falling apart and ready for help.
Trying to understand if I'm catching everything correctly and not making false comparisons to myself is the hardest part of this video.
SAME OMG
I agree.
@Made in the womb You are.
Totally, I'm afraid of faking it unintentionally. But I can relate almost 100%. But the strugle is real.
Same, I'm so troubled by that. I'm here listening to this and it seems to be answering most of my life, but is it real? Or am i just projecting.
This video is hard because every one of these questions makes my mind say “I bet that’s something absolutely everyone experiences at some point, it can’t be just me”
I used to think that too, even as I went to a psychiatrist I thought to myself that I was probably just overreacting, turns out I wasn't overreacting and that I'm actually autistic. Now that I have a diagnosis and I'm getting help, things are starting to make sense. (Also sorry, I'm bad with words)
@@marymerkael6527 Don´t be sorry. I actually went to therapy and that happened to me too. I felt stupid for going, like I don´t need help, I'm just overreacting. Guess I'll have to keep looking for help. Thanks for sharing your experience!
@@Luckyou03 I wish you the best and good luck :)
I can say yes to everyone of these statment but I know for sure I'm not autistic like asperger.
20/25 of these applied to me, and my Mom has thought I have it since probably around the time I was around 20 or so, but I feel like a lot of it overlaps with other things that I have been clinically diagnosed with like for example my Depression, Social Anxiety, emotional inhibition, self isolation, etc.
Also one thing my Mom seems to point too aside from the social stuff is my inability to do basic addition like it makes no sense to me without paper to write on, and also she points to the odd things I'm into, but nothing I'm into is all that uncommon like I love Horror, Metal music, Comics, Books, video games, movies, and I might be kind of obsessed with Supernatural, okay maybe I'm extremely obsessed with that show, but none of it is really that niche or odd a lot of it is common Among a lot of people.
Sorry for the long comment btw
I'm not normally concerned when I get 100% on a quiz...
Yeah, me to...
😵 right?
"I came here to learn, not to feel!" 🙃
Couple of my friends at school knew and they were like "now I bet you wish you didn't pass every test" lol
Why would you be concerned with relating to this? There isn't anything wrong with being an aspie or high functioning autistic - just means we're diversified in our psyche compared to most. Be proud!! I take positives from know I'm different!
I often struggle in social situations when a conversation involves more than one or two other people. It seems as if everyone else knows when to talk and fits their responses into the conversation without talking over each other. What usually happens in groups of more than 2-3 is I just observe and don’t speak or I accidentally talk over people, generally responding to something after the topic has moved on. It’s really embarrassing. It takes so much energy to be in social situations unless I have one safe person to talk to.
Yes. Can only focus on one person at a time. Seems like they compete. I’m trying to listen to what they are saying. Can’t hear or process more than one conversation at a time.
@@ravenmeyer3740 I say that is normal human nature, NOT autism. People wanna slap a disease or disorder on everything. Also just plain life, life is NOT perfect and people are NOT perfect. I don't understand why people want to call autism when a person is NOT PERFECT. NOT A SINGLE PERSON IS PERFECT. People have flaws or weaknesses somewhere, just because some people can do something and others can do not mean autism. Just because many people can and we can't, we are autistic? NO, LIFE IS NOT PERFECT!!
OMG! Same as me
I feel and do exactly this!!
@@nofybn7794yes that’s true, but does that happen with every single conversation u have basically thru out ur life
When you asked "do you struggle with communication with other people?" I just caught myself thinking "no you see, for *I* have a system!" and I think that pretty much speaks for itself.
Can I just validate that that exact same thought popped into my head with that exact same question. Thank you for catching your own trained response there, it helped me do the same.
What is your system?!
So do I, if someone writes salutations in an email so do I, if they don't, I don't either. I copy them.
Hold on, I need more info on that system dude
@@kadyq9626 in some ways this is works, in others it back backfire horribly.
This list is me almost 100% Bonus question: in conversation do you often feel that you don’t know when the right time is to start talking- either that you are always starting to speak at the same time as someone else, you find yourself talking over the top of people accidentally because they weren’t finished, or you never get a word in.
Absolutely! The complexities of group conversation are a nightmare. Normal strategy is just to smile and nod :D
My life.
ye all the time
Yes, absolutely, and much more so in a group conversation. Navigating the social dynamics of a group is basically an impossible challenge, so I sit in silence nearly all the time. But, if I do that, I'm no longer successful at appearing normal. So, I dread being around any group of people.
Yes! It's exhausting.
I was 25 when I finally figured out that when someone asks 'how are you', that they really didn't want to know - that is was basically a social nicety. I always got odd looks when I would tell them exactly how I was and why, good or bad. I found this extremely odd - why ask someone how they are doing if they really don't want to know. I thought to myself hey if I missed that, there must be other things I'm missing.
When I ask this question, I always expect true answer but it's always a small talk. It really frustrates me
Same here! I was SHOCKED that people use that as a conversation starter and want a response of positive content like "Fine" or "Well" and NOT the truth.
for me now when people ask I don't often know how to respond, i wait for them to move on cause all i know is, nobody actually means it... but then i find out this specific person meant to know about my well being. So stressful
It's also a cultural thing, because in rural Europe, so to speak, the normal thing is to speak about something good (or bad) that happened to you lately even if a stranger
Ive always loved the Jackson Browne lyric:
"Maybe people only ask you how youre doing because thats easier than letting on how little they could care."
I also tend to respond to the question literally. Then when I ask for a similar response the other person usually says "fine" and makes a beeline for the exit.
Like you, I was in my mid 20s before I got diagnosed. Parents of our generation were terrified of any suggestion that their child was "not normal" so if you had a very attentive parent you were probably taught to mask, from an early age. Anyway, even though I made it to my twenties without anybody really "noticing", for me the diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder was simply a "Duh ... thats obvious" moment, like looking for your eyeglasses and realising that youre wearing them. It was such exhasusting effort to constantly follow the rules that my parents taught me about how to "fake it", that there was never any question about whether my brain worked differently from others. I just had never figured out the REASON.
I'll be 80 next month - figured out only last year that I'm well onto the spectrum. Tests confirmed it. I did so after three of my nine grandchildren were diagnosed with Asperger's and I clearly saw my own behaviors in them. For me it was a relief to figure this out as it has helped me understand so many of my life's decisions and confusions. I am long retired and able to live my life happily in my rigid routines and limited social interactions. It's lovely.
Something to cross off your list!
I want to see a doctor or I want to talk to friends or family about it but I’m terrified that they’ll think I’m faking it and making it up for attention
Go to a specialist and have it checked for yourself. The opinion of others on that matter doesn't really count. I used my diagnose only as a guide on how to succeed in a system, that wasn't really build for me. I rarely ever speak with others about it, really only when my condition could affect them in any way.
Although there was a time, when I wanted to tell everybody (I found it very relieving to finally know "what's wrong with me" and I wanted to share it). And I often experienced people not believing me (because neither am I "retarded" nor "Rainman"), but I don't really care anymore.
Talk to a specialist who can accurately give you a diagnosis. Mental disorders are real and it shouldn't be something you assume you have without someone certified to confirm it with you or not
Fuck this whole "specialist diagnosis", thats only for the NT people, but if you are an aspie, you know how you feel, and that's enough for our comunnity. I spoke about it to my brother and my mother. My brother gave me a really nice ear plug this year, but when we had this conversation he was all "are you sure?" "oh, you should talk to a psychologist" , and so I did, and 3 months later she was still trying to figure out, what was every and each day more obvious to me, because is simply impossible for an aspie to not do some research about aspergers when you finally know why you were so "weird" and left alone your whole life. I talked about it with only one friend of mine, and she was aswell doubting me. We can't blame them, we passed our lifes learning how to fake, and now we are adults that can somehow fit into this NT world, and our friends nly know our masks, our facades. Thats anybodys fault at the end of the day.
@@BeccaBuckLebowski if you're in the US, if you get a formal diagnosis are you required to disclose it when jobs ask if you have a disability? A lot of the ones I apply to ask and specifically list autism
@@Emily-ce7hd Sorry, I don't know, I'm from Germany.
Now to find out if im answering yes because I’m on the spectrum or if it’s just my anxiety
Is it autism or is it ADHD and social anxiety, the world may never know 😅😂
Same 😪
Taylor Britt exactly lmao
natalie flores go us lol RIP
Saame😅😂
When half of the questions make you go "That's not normal...?"
when most of these things are normal.
me
only half? i was legit like okay so im definately on the spectrum all 25 lol
Anxiety causes you to feel these things too and because most people are anxious and self-conscious now and again, these things can be normal experiences
@@namssap I'm not sure if you are saying this because you are actually Autistic, or because you want to devalue the message of the video, or because you really do not understand the depth and severity of what he's saying.
As a doctor, diagnosed at 39, I found the biggest camouflaging factor was that I was extremely good at understanding emotion, far better than my peers. Whilst all of the other factors on this list were largely true, and with a reasonable education in psychiatric medicine, (and of course with 20 years of health care and personal depression/anxiety experience) I would be quite sensitive to acute but subtle changes in tone, macro and micro-expression. Plus I could use my misunderstanding of the disconnect with what was being displayed and what was being said as a form of 'intuition' to ignore reported affect and focus on effect.
Since my diagnosis I have felt at liberty to offer a quick disclaimer that I will likely be blunt due to being neurodivergent and then drilling through the 'bullshit' to the point, where we can start dealing with it. It seems to resonate with people. They come back I guess...
On the more important note, coming to terms with neurodivergence also made the experience of depression and anxiety a thousand times less distressing. And now my wife has a better understanding why I come home from a day seeing people and need to jump straight on a computer game or have extended sleeps. Much more than when I worked in procedural medicine such as Emergency or Anaesthesia, where the risks and decisions were much higher but the interpersonal requirement was much lower.
Fascinating it took this long to be diagnosed in hindsight....
I don't think an autism diagnosis should excuse you from politeness. Even though it's natural to be blunt, not caring about hurting someone's feelings isn't something to be proud of. Also sounds like your wife is taking shit from you that she shouldnt.
@@PrincessMicrowave You're neither qualified to comment or know enough about me to do so. You've made two assumptions from a short excerpt of my life, a) that I am blunt with my patients without being wholistic or supportive, nor care about their feelings, and b) that my wife is unhappy with my part in our relationship and or that I treat her poorly. You've done this presumably to feel superior and or insightful. Your conjecture has grossly missed the mark on both counts border-lining on slander. I don't know how you could have expected your comment to come across as anything other than insulting.
Leave psychological analysis to the professionals.
I am done discussing the issue with you now, you may not address me again. Kindly fuck off.
@@PrincessMicrowave What they mean could be instead of
@@PrincessMicrowave Being blunt is not synonymous with being rude. I would much prefer my doctor to be straightforward or blunt. After all, a doctor's visit is not intended to be a social gathering. Also, you've made a rude (not blunt) assumption about his relationship with his wife that has no basis. Sounds like autism is triggering for you and maybe you should ponder why that may be?
I have never been diagnosed with anything, but I know I train myself to be good at many of those things that others learned to do as a baby, but I seemed to have missed. some of those learned skills I think I do the task better than those that learned it as a baby, but still for me it is a task I learned.
its crazy when i lived my whole life not knowing i was any diffrent because i just stayed away from people lol
Me too just learning about this now 😭 I’m happy but I’m so overwhelmed
I'm seventy and just finding out...
Thought I was just depressed and had unexpected panic attacks. It's a bit late to do anything about it now, like others I assume, I have my coping mechanisms....
Weirdooo
I don't see it as being uniquely different, every single person is different but they often try and put on a mask to fit in with society, some are better than others, some have more willpower to carry it on, and some simply don't give a shit.
If someone truly likes you as a person it shouldn't matter how long of periods are between your connection, connections just don't break, if we liked someone in the past and they come up to us with an issue months later do you just say you all of a sudden don't like them and say no?
Do we stick to the stereotype that people lack eye contact because something is wrong or they're lying? Several people's brains are wired toward visual thinking that loses sight of their thought focusing on too much around them that leaves a distant gaze.
Do we become bored and do things like lightly dance or tap around when nobody is looking? What about those who don't care if anyone is looking or what they think?
It's our jobs to keep us happy in our own way, it isn't a 'cope' and that's an excuse, that's healthy nature to be ourselves, maybe everyone else is scared to do the same. There's just too many variables, and quite frankly if you really think about it everyone has a weakness and strength, nobody is perfect, and everyone is on a level of autism.
@@MrYakooboovsky ?
The thing that drives me crazy is somebody saying ‘you make eye contact so you’re not autistic’. I make eye contact because I’ve taught myself but it’s not natural. Plus, not everybody is the same so just because one person might do or not do something, that doesn’t always relate to everybody.
I do that, too. I get more clues when I look at the face and it helps me focus. But it's a conscious decision not a reflex.
@@petraw9792 Do you ever realise you’re staring too much and it’s got uncomfortable and you have to look away? None of it it natural. 😆
i didn’t start doing it until i was trying to figure out how to appear more confident to be liked more and eye contact is always mentioned so i started making sure i did it but it’s always a conscious thing and i’m always over analyzing how i’m doing it like “oh i need to make sure i’m not doing it for too long or it’ll be weird but still enough that they know i’m interested, also ew this feels awkward,, floor-eyes-floor-eyes”
omg I almost never made eye contact with people I'm talking to
I also taught myself to make eye contact and to speak and try to stay alert to not go back into my private world around people like most of my life. Learned how to pretend to be interested in others, how to pretend a lot of things.
1. Have you always felt different to your peers?
2. Do you worry about 'not being believed' when you tell others about yourself?
3. Do you adopt different mannerism when home alone? Things that you wouldn't do in public?
4. Do you have 'gaps' in your skillset? Some simple things others do naturally but you can't?
5. Do you like to be prepared? And dislike last minute changes?
6. Are your routines sometimes seen as ' extreme' or 'odd'?
7. Do you like to focus on ONE thing at a time? Because it take a lot of efforts to 'shift gears'?
8. Do you go through cycles of hyperproductivity? And then burnout?
9. Do you struggle to hold down jobs? Friends? Relationships?
10. Do you have trouble expressing what you really mean? Especially under stress?
11. Are there some common type of communication you find extremely difficult? or uncomfortable?
12. Are you sometimes gullible? Struggling to tell whether people are being serious or not?
13. Do you often wish people would say 'what they mean'? And get angry when they dont?
14. Are you particularly sensitive (or insensitive) to some things?
15. Does this lead to significant discomfort in some types of public places? Or in participation in social activities?
16. Do you feel like dealing with the outside world can be difficult and stressful?
17. Do you often notice things others dont?
18. Are things that are obvious to others 'often' not obvious to you?
19. Do you have uncommon interests or passions? That others just don't get?
20. Do you find dealing with people difficult? Or confusing?
21. Do you feel like it YOUR job to fit in? If you want to make friends?
22. Are you constantly worrying about 'doing the wrong thing' socially?
23. Do you often feel 'overwhelmed' by other people's emontions? (or not feel them at all)
24. Are you often surprised when people tell you what they've been thinking or feeling? Because you had no idea?
25. Have you received other labels or diagnosis? That didn't quite seem to fit?
Yes to all questions... So, does it means I'm autistic?
Raf Warner most who may be “diagnosed” as autistic would be greatly served to take a break from the internet and maybe go on a long trip/vacation to see more of the world/country. I can’t imagine what people “classify” as autistic today would be prevalent if one were to grow up on a farm without WiFi.
@@alephnull7410 I don't use social media, I only use UA-cam to be honest because I'm trying to learn French. I don't like to get out of my house, and I can't afford any kind of trip right now, so... Anyways, thanks for your reply.
@@alephnull7410
Amen to that!
To everyone else...
I think most children could be diagnosed because face to fact human interaction is no longer the norm. As well I think most of the people here on YT that I've seen tonight have been misdiagnosed as Autistic, but are just typical individuals a bit off in their own land. Sarcasm isn't innate. It's learned, I think people forget that. I remember being introduced to sarcastic remarks and I couldn't understand them as a child, but I learned how sarcasm is used to tell someone off or just make an ironic joke. You don't just wake up trying to humorously deceive people. If I grew up in a different place I might not understand it at all. Some cultures don't do sarcasm, but those individuals can learn how sarcasm is used and deploy it if they see fit too.
Not knowing everything or understanding what to say isn't abnormal either. My friend's father died... How do you respond other than offering condolences and sharing the good times you remember being in their company you can't say much. These things are hard for anyone. Small talk might be what they need depending on their personality they may prefer to sulk for a while in isolation. If it's been a week call let them know they're missed don't mention the deceased they know what you mean anyway. Engagement is complicated and it's really telling that the "that's Autistic" meme doesn't make sense to some people. By the sound of it basically everyone is Autistic by these new super broad definitions encompassing ASD and by the man in this video who alleges to have been diagnosed with ASD.
ASD is a clinical diagnosis meaning there is no test that proves you have it. A team of doctors diagnose children including a neurologist and psychiatrist (based on very broad and ill-defined symptoms) and then poof you're Autistic!
Being diagnosed as an adult sounds much more sketchy.
VariantAEC You make very good points about sarcasm. High level sarcasm is a product of an irony driven culture that dates back to the 90’s and then the subsequent technological boom. Virtuosic sarcasm as a skill set is an important tool on the internet but real life is not “IRL”, it is simply real life and virtual knowledge should not have power to describe physical knowledge.
Your comment starts with saying “face to face interaction is no longer the norm”. You are correct but that is a serious problem in order to make it in the world as a complete human being. Basically everyone is starting off very behind in their mental health growing up in society that promotes technology as modern day religion. Face to face interaction is where a pure formation of interior can be realized in individuals. Technology produces a kind of meta filter on this process even outside of its use. Just existing in a world with technology has a distorting effect on real human growth and connection. Hence the arrival of memes as a primary youth culture narrative of the highest order. Where previous generations took to the streets to provide voices that society recognized as the “voice of a generation” memes are complex and compact cyber notions that never escape their pixelated world but rather draw the human psyche closer to virtual dissociation then much needed internal realizations built on true intimacy. “Ok boomer”, there is a meme that can be attached to any physical phenomena thereby reducing existence to nothing more than low level discourse. This behavior is promoted in contemporary culture yet it is fundamentally skewed.
My father was diagnosed with severe ADHD as a child. After watching many of your videos and evaluating my own life and my father's; I am certain that it is not ADHD.
My father was given Ritalin at a very young age and it's led him down a life if addiction. That coupled with his defiant behavior towards anyone in authority over him has led to him living on the streets. Maybe if he was given therapy for his behavior, rather than drugs, he'd be a lot better off.
He's very intelligent and creative, but he is horrible socially. He's quick to anger and absolutely refuses to accept anyone in authority over him.
He refused to have me evaluated as a child, because he didn't want me to have a life like his. I know he did it because he thought it was protecting me.
My life is not impacted the way his is. I may come accross as rude from time to time because I don't know when to be sympathetic; and I may have a strict routine I stick to everyday; and I may have given up on trying to fit in; and I may not like socializing most of the time, but I am able to accept the world works the way it does and I'm not raging against it, trying to make it change for me.
I'm sorry dad. I hope you're okay out there.
Well if he did have ADHD then the drugs would have helped him (though, treatment with both medication and therapy is generally most effective). The real unfortunate thing was his misdiagnosis, as well as the people around him not recognizing his addiction for what it was and treating it before his life took a bad turn. I’m sorry that your father was not given adequate treatment. I only said the beginning because there is so much anti-drug sentiments regarding treatment for those with ADHD that it can actually be hurtful for those of us that need it. The stigma is very prevalent, I see so many posts on Reddit of pharmacists denying someone their prescription written by their doctor.
OMG! Yet another sad story to refuse to take the meds. For things like this I will never see a psychiatrist
I am 73 and fulfilled 99% of your criteria for autism. It has been a long, hard road. Diagnosis was unknown to the general public when I was a child. Now I am retired I can stay away from people, except for very short periods. Such a relief!
I am 56 with an autistic kid...... Had to divorce my X because she was a nightmare. Starting to think I might be on the spectrum!
This is one of the only things that keep me going, for real. The hope that when I'll become an elder, I will be finally able to rest.
For holding out for so long I think you are a queen and an absolute hero. It must have been so tough.
Lol this is hopeful. 😅 retirement is the ultimate treatment
@@h4rl3k1n Bless your heart! I made a right mess of my life. Calm waters now.
Bonus question: did you space out and had to pause by the middle of the video because of information overload?
Not in this video, but I do have that in a lot of videos lol.
I did 😄
I had to keep pausing it!😆🤔🙄
Mathead aha
I often have to do that with videos so that I can catch up with my own brain storm that occurs with the information input
I feel like the youtube algorithm is trying to tell me something...
Same. :/
This doesn't seem to be those videos that get recommended to everyone overnight.
It is... And you can actually make it work for you. 😄
Haha same, this just popped up randomly in my recommended. I haven't even seen any videos or webpages about Aspergers. But I do indeed have AS.
😂😂😂
Same 🤦🏽♂️
I saw this video about 2 years ago when I first started to gather information about autism. This week I finally got my diagnosis! I agreed with 19/25
I was a hyper verbal child, speaking in full sentences extremely young and always praised for how bright I was but also constantly yelled at to “be normal” with some weird and sometimes even gross habits. I was terrified of balloons and loud noises, extremely picky eater, always struggled making friends, was very immature for my age, had difficulty telling fantasy from reality. Had an insane memory where I would memorize the dialogue of episodes of He-Man or My Little Pony yet struggled in math. Again, seen as weird because I had a knack of memorizing things out of books and repeating that information (whether fact or fiction). Became obsessed with metal music as a teenager, still obsessed with fantasy and horses although I always seemed to struggle as a rider, always seemed less coordinated than everyone else., yet I had pretty much all the mid 90s dressage tests memorized. Couldn’t do sports in school because I was so clumsy and uncoordinated, had extreme difficulty with high school math (almost failed) but breezed through ELA, foreign languages and social studies. Could spent hours looking at maps. Always felt that I was putting on an act, like I had to act like everyone else and frustrated that it came to normal to everyone else while I struggled. As an adult, usually had boyfriends or husband yelling at me about “I don’t understand how you can (insert smart person thing here) but can’t do (usually simple housecleaning task)!” Struggled to keep relationships and jobs, went through job interview after job interview and only got hired when I was the only candidate. Was often overwhelmed at work. I was a teacher and struggled with planning lessons and keeping up on everything. Husband died and I had a miscarriage soon after and I lost my teaching job because I was so stressed out. Fast forward and two subsequent boyfriends kept yelling that me that I take things too seriously, too literally. “I don’t understand how you can learn a language in 3 months but can’t figure out how to work a gas stove!” “Why do you have to shows from the 80s memorized?” “You’re like a space alien trying to be a human,” I still have extreme difficulty with executive functions like paying bills and filling out paperwork. Fast forward more and finally got back to substitute teaching, then I was offered a job as a paraprofessional at a district, telling me that I would be working 1 on 1 with autistic students. Ok, desperate for a job so sure.
Then it hit me. I am these kids. I could finally see how I looked to outsiders and how I came across. And one 3rd grade teaching laughed way too hard at me and two high functioning autistic students arguing about dragons. But it all finally clicked and fell into place: my weird habits and skill sets, my inability to function socially and my own struggle to be normal.
And I answered yes to just about every question on your quiz
Your story is almost exactly the same as mine. This is a revelation. Thank you for sharing it.
proud of u
To ourselves, we are either really special or we are not. There seems to be no particular ideal, or normal when it comes to human beings. We are miracles. Each one of us is like a tiny galaxy operating a storyline that has a past, present, and future. Being different is normal.
yeah, I just got diagnosed with autism (from a physiologist) and when I was little I had an imaginary land full of budgies and otters and they had a surprisingly VERY catchy theme song and that's all I would do really talk about.
when I say little I don't mean 4 or 5.
mean 14 :0
Bless you. I truly relate to you and your struggles. It is difficult and one needs tremendous strength to cope with outside world. My daughter and I are part of this journey too. I came to see if my suspicions were correct and my heart broke to peaces. At least we know now.
That feeling of "so I'm not the only one" and "I'm not crazy" is so overwhelmingly soothing as I answered yes to all 25 questions. I'm 24 and I've never been diagnosed. I will seek professional help as my anxiety related to socializing has become so umberable that I've barely left my house in years
Same here bruhhhhhhhh
I also answered yes to every question. I was lucky to find understanding friends, a good job, and a support system. They were out there. But im still learning everyday. I wish you the best and support you^^
Same here. I am trying my best to change career in order to be able to work away from direct contact with people.
@@turabalikhan1341 For me, while I cannot afford a therapist, it has been a huuuuuge relief, learning about it. At least, I don't feel that much guilt or shame about situations where I blame myself for saying something that I shouldn't have, or not saying something when I totally should have (conditional mutism). Acceptance is the key right, for the time being at least.
@@turabalikhan1341 Many people obviously go undiagnosed for a long time, because it wasn't even considered a 'disease' until recently. But for me, it's more like, I was dealt this hand, less emotional intelligence, for other forms of intelligence. It kind of is fair, so long as I make use of the extra-intelligence elsewhere.
My problem is that I feel like I identify strongly with many of these questionnaires, but I honestly can't tell if I'm just answering the way I think an autistic person would, or if I'm answering genuinely. Other questions like "Do you often notice things that others don't" seem rather psychic-y where they're generalized enough that anyone could relate.
I took that to mean that you notice things that might not bother other people, like for example: When you plug an appliance and it has a high pitched buzzing sound. It doesn't seem to bother anyone else, but it drive me crazy. I can spot a tiny scuff in a piece of furniture that no one else seems to notice or even care. These are not psychic-y whatsoever. (I don't know if I just have extreme attention to detail or if it's something more.)
Good explanation. Now I would say that some do hear annoying noises, but this would be noticing a sound that is so faint that others tune out.
Or let's say a light flickering just a bit. You might REALLY can't STAND IT. Or a crooked picture. My eye goes right to a crooked wall outlet or trim. And lights need to be changed, buzzing noises solved or no sleep!
If I am on a bus I will immediately notice if one hang strap is different. I worked in a 13-level building: nobody except me noticed one window on one floor was different. Crooked picture frames, misaligned text etc. all jump out at me. Yet my house is a mess at the mo. Go figure. I scored 13/25 yes on this.
Once, I noticed a gutter was replaced, up there at the edge of a 2-storey house roof, on the usual way home, while I was chatting. And I obviously stopped the conversation to share this extremely important information.
it's that thing isn't it where you can identify with the symptoms of almost anything if there are enough of them and they're a bit vague and open to interpretation.
So I scored 25 out of 25 and I have been suspecting I am on the spectrum. Thank you for this video, it provides so much validation. My very close friend (who is also on the spectrum) often think that we must have been twins at some point in time because we understand each other on a level that other's don't and we often joke and say that "being human is hard". One of the things I struggle with the most is being able to understand why people don't say what they mean.
More questions that I think are important that he didn't mention:
26.) Do you have troubles with sports or balancing? Do you find that you bump into things a lot or are you called clumsy often? Do you have to think about which foot to start with when you walk up a flight of stairs?
27.) Do you have a strong sense of social fairness? If someone breaks the rules by cutting in line do you get angry? Does it upset you when you're trying your hardest to do the 'correct' thing while others don't seem to care?
28.) Do you have tummy issues? All the time? The doctors think you MIGHT have reflux or something low-grade but they can never figure out what it is?
29.) Do some things bring you not just discomfort but actual physical pain? Does dubstep make you feel like your teeth are getting drilled? Does sunlight make you NAUSEOUS? Does eye contact make the back of your neck hurt? Some people just natrually dislike things, but is it difficult for you to even muscle through it?
30.) Do you ever get emotional to the point where you become embarrased later? Do people call you immature or tell you to stop, but you physically cannot stop yourself? Did you throw tantrums a lot as a kid?
31.) Do you ever get so overwhelemed that you just want the world to stop for a minute? Do you struggle to form sentences when you're stressed? Do you grow numb to the world around you and sort of shut down for hours or even days?
32.) Are your joints really flexible? Do your joints pop or ache a lot? Can you contort yourself in was that gross other people out? (sometimes as a form of entertainment)
33.) Are you told you're cold or unfeeling? Do people tell you you have resting bitch face a lot? Do you struggle with feeling things at the right amount or in the right context? Does it worry you that you're not "human enough" sometimes?
34.) Do you forget to perform basic tasks like brush your teeth today or make a meal for yourself?
35.) If a task has too many steps do you often get overhwelmed or forget? Do you try to find ways around a task because it never gets completed when you try?
36.) Do you like repeating phrases you hear on TV or the radio? Do you apply forms of media and litterature in place of a specific feeling or as a metaphor for the situation at hand? Do other people understand what you mean or do you have to explain it? Do you like making fun noises to yourself?
Me, reading number 34 and realizing I have forgotten to brush my teeth today: *shifty eyes*
Jesus the more questions I read, the more anxious I get. I'm a functioning person and I never thought there could be something 'wrong' other than my anxiety and depression up until maybe a year ago. All of them questions apply to me. It's really weird.
I always mimic accents, if that's anything lol. Any time I hear an accent other than my own at work, I copy it, usually when nobody can hear me.
People probably think I'm making fun of someone, but I'm really just trying to copy their sound
@@AllThoseChickens There's a thing that autistic people do called "chameleoning" where they'll adapt traits and word choice of their peers either conciously or subconciously so they can blend in.
I had a history teacher in hs with a Detroit accent and every time I came out of class I sounded like him for like a solid 3-5 sentances before I caught myself.
The thing where someone habitually repeats sounds or words they hear is called echolalia its considered a rudimentary communication tool for language development. You see small children do it when they start learning how to talk but most autistic people continue it thru most of their lives to some degree.
@@viccolasvic9461 I feel like I'm not as intense as that, but I do often mirror things. I can tell you I don't remember ever speaking or smiling with a crooked mouth until I watched Heroes in middle school (I think it was my brain trying to mimic Milo Ventimiglia or however it's spelled)
Or when I watched Troye Sivan's videos ages ago before he was super famous, I found myself randomly slipping in and out of his accent
It's very subtle for me I think idk
Edit: And also I use words like "ages," "rather (meaning really)," and "quite" despite being American (we don't really use those)
I've always gotten the complaint that I am "fake". I never realized I was masking. People are always easier to deal with while I mask. Once they see the "real" me they think I am cold and the relationship is usually over at that point.
Amen.
Once they see the real me they think I’m too much and plain batshit insane..so?.. my middle ground idk
@@caitychiz6851 yes!! I notice when I get too comfortable with people at the workplace I start to become over the top and then I have to ground myself and consciously only talk when I need to, to make myself appear normal to them again and then it repeats???
Yeah me too! I mean people think fake is bad. But I dont understand why. I mean, if I act weird around people and say whatever I really mean it makes people discomfortable! So why is it bas to say things that I think is apropriate for the situation?
Samantha Browne EXACTLY it’s at work this happens 😂😂😂 I say sorry about it a lot but they say oh it’s ok you’re funny ahah and I’m like yeahhhhhhh my bad you think I’m weird 😩😅😩😅
I’m now almost 70. For most of my life I was a quiet introvert and not really sociable. However in later life I learned to act. By watching others interacting and chatting I’ve gradually learned how. During the last ten years of my working life I got a reputation for being a loud extrovert. Since retiring I’ve been volunteering as a Tour Guide. I entertain large groups of people, but the moment I take my badge off I become off-duty and so change back into my unsociable self.
Yeah, I'm a super quiet person, and I just recently taught myself how to have small talk with other people which is basically just asking the other person questions about the thing that we're talking about. This is only through text though, I cannot for the life of me speak to new people outside of my social group. I've got some learning to do
Hi John! Just wanted to say that I hope you're comfortable with these two versions of youself! Bet every person in those groups you entertain is glad to have you as their tour guide. Actually, now that i think about it, I kind of relate to Valerie's comment too. I try very VERY hard to engage in conversations with new people but never know what to actually say. But hey who knows, maybe in a few years I can get a reputation for being an extrovert too! Hope you have a lovely day/night!
At 50 I find myself wondering how much of my behaviors are practiced coping techniques. 30 years in retail forced me to learn small talk and sales, but I find it exhausting.
We’re literally playing life on max difficulty 😂
you're 69. don't be ashamed to say it 😂
I am 30 and have wondered if I was on the spectrum since I was 25. Mainly because I am awkward socially and have enough emotions for 10 people when I'm emotional. After watching your videos I no longer think I am on the spectrum and have a so much greater understand of autism! Specifically your points on childrens experiences on the spectrum and I had absolutely no feelings like that growing up. I think I'm just awkward and tend to be a little more introverted and that's okay! ❤️ Thank you
Some of the most creative people and creative minds in history were considered "awkward." You sound like a very passionate person, something I lack. I say... Harness that passion, find your joy, and turn it into gold! Be the wonderful person you are and shine!
Have you looked into quiet bpd
Tears started at #4 I'm 48 and this has been the best thing I have ever watched. Thanks
You are not alone. I was in my late 30's before we came to the conclusion. The best "scary" thing to happen in years. Best wishes for you
Comments like this make me love UA-cam.
48 too, in the process of finding out exactly what I have, most likely asperger
Congratulations, and welcome!
When I was in Junior High School I told my parents I might be "partly autistic", but everyone insisted I was normal. Several years ago I went online and took some tests, and I consistently showed up as having Asperger's and Avoidant Personality Disorder. I am 51 now.
I'm 57 and have only fully embraced being autistic for about a week. Welcome!
I recommend people on the spectrum avoid seeking "professional help" from psychiatrists who are not trained to recognize mild forms of autism (i.e Asperger's) and will most likely label you with a mental illness and medicate you unnecessarily. In my years working in psych' wards I saw a large percentage of patients who were obviously on the spectrum yet this was never picked up by psychiatrists.
Jeff May this is why I won’t seek an official diagnosis. I’m female and mask very well
Not sure if it relates, with the last couple of doctors I went to to discuss my problems, I seemed to be picking up this attitude of "oh, another lazy individual that wants to get on to benefits". Could just be me reading things wrongly, not sure. I'm guessing that if you want any in-depth professional discussion you need to shop around, and/or pay for it.
I tend to avoid psychiatrists in general. After 20 years on medications, my mental health is actually worse in a lot of ways.
Bonzaroo I get that vibe too sometimes but not all providers. Seems to me some of these medical professionals have either compassion fatigue or see their patients as non human. Can make one feel very helpless because you’re going to them to seek very important answers😞 keep going, you may find one that cares.
Ky I chose someone who specialized in Autism and he was the one who diagnosed me. He didn’t try to recommend medication either.
I recently started working this job with my aunt. It's a very small business, about 10 people in the office-max-at all times.
I could go on and on about all the "autistic" experiences I've had in pretty much only a month of working there, but I'm not gonna.
Point is, I've been getting closer to my aunt, and one day during lunch (we always eat together, just the both of us) I felt comfortable enough to say "do you remember what I was like when I was little?", to which she replied "yes, you used to smile a lot up until you were two or three. Then you started retracting. But I suppose you were still happy nonetheless."
I felt... emotions when she said that, which made me share that I'd been considering the possibility of being on the spectrum. Her reply was eerily brilliant. She didn't move a muscle on her face, she just looked up and said, "yeah... we all are. It's this side of the family. I've known for about 4 years now, after I read a book that deeply resonated with me." I had a gaping mouth face expression at that point. I'd been struggling to find out where "I" came from, and it makes so much sense. My father, my uncle, my aunt, my grandpa, my cousin... we're all a bit odd, to be honest. But it'd never occurred to me. Why me-I'm such an observer!
Anyway, we had lunch and she was telling me all about some of her experiences. Being willingly locked in a bathroom stall because she'd noticed a group of a few women coming into the restroom after her, and just desperately waiting for them to leave so she wouldn't have to make eye contact. Masking most of the time during work and everyday social affairs. Her awkward, sometimes lovingly nonsensical approach to some situations-she showed me a picture of myself from a few years ago, it was Christmas. I wasn't even looking at the camera. I just asked "do you always take pictures of your family members when they aren't looking?" to which she grinned really innocently and said "yeah, I love it, I love you guys." and I just felt like laughing.
I'd been looking for someone like me to share some of my struggles with, since it's so hard feeling like an outsider all the time. It was soothing to realise that it was so close to me all along, and such an easily reachable person, and the awkwardness makes the interaction... comfortable. Does it make any sense?
Anyway, this is the good bit that 2020 has brought into my life so far.
This makes perfect sense and I’m so happy for you
@71SgtMom that's an asperger's thing to say?
@71SgtMom matter of fact.. Like really wondering? Yeah... I get it. Making it seem like some kind objective truth. I think I get it. That makes sense. He had a shallow understanding of people and love so he made a shallow comment. It was his shortcoming shining through. Still kind of painful. It's like I told my old BF when there was like a bunch of models on tv... "I could never look like that. I'm sorry." And instead of, "I think you're beautiful as you are. That's why I picked you." I get, "I know that. I don't expect you to. I'm not going for looks. You don't have to be a model. I love you anyway." Lol. Thanks. Preciate it. 😒
@71SgtMom so glad you can see the humor! ❤😁
@71SgtMom no. Sadly... he really didn't think I was beautiful. That was the truth shining through. He slowly revealed his sense of superiority and called me horrible names. He thought I should know my place that I wasn't hot enough to demand respect etc. He told me what to eat, tired to make me do all the cleaning and called me a fat slob...he beat me and choked and shot video of me in humiliating situations. No. He was shallow. He meant he wasn't looking for someone beautiful. He really didn't find me beautiful or worthy of respect. He doesn't look through a lense of love and didn't want a model but was looking for someone to take his sadistic anti-social behaviour out on. Its sad but it's a thing.
I resonate with 24/25. I'm slightly concerned, not because I think anything is wrong with being on the autism spectrum, but because there's a chance that there was something I didn't know about myself. The only one I didn't answer "yes" to is question 25 because I don't have easy access to any sort of medical attention, whether mental or physical. I have had multiple friends who are on the autism spectrum ask me if I'm also autistic, which confused me at first because I was not educated on the subject, but now I know that people with autism often understand each other better than they understand people without autism (or so my autistic peers have told me). I know I should probably go seek some sort of confirmation from a professional, but that would require me telling my parents my concerns, and they would likely brush me off.
Don't know where you live, but do you have access to any hotlines you could call for advice? (Not Nesse on autism in itself, but on how to go about getting an assesment)
I´m over 60 and could answer "no" to only five of these, though I´ve experienced some more than others. When I was young, my behaviour was called being rude and badly behaved, especially for girls. My parents treated me at home, by beating me. It didn´t work. I´m glad people are more enlightened now.
Wow you look amazing for 60 years old that is incredible.
@@babblingalong7689 That´s an old photo! Not sure why but it was the only one I could get to move onto UA-cam. Possibly wishful thinking.
@@elisabird6245 Sorry was just cracking jokes in a neurotypical manner. I know it's an old photo and feigned naivité for amusement. Still, you were a really pretty lady and I'm sure you still are. Sorry you got beaten by your parents.
@@babblingalong7689 In those days it was normal. Seems to have improved lately.
@@elisabird6245 Yeah, might've been normal, but it was still wrong, and still damaged kids.
I cried as I answered each question because I only had 1 no. Doctors will not “test” or analyze me for it because “it won’t change anything” but it could change EVERYTHING. It’s an answer. It could help me get disability help, because I can’t work full time, BECAUSE my brain just won’t allow it and it shuts down so easily when I get overwhelmed.
I hope you're able to find a Dr that's right for you. I've had better service from nurse practitioners since they take the time to listen.
Get a specialist.
Disability won’t help much anyway, because you haven’t paid in much. 😥
i hope things are getting better now. sending you love
I feel the exact same way. No one seems to understand that. My family is great but that’s one thing they don’t understand. Like I get so overwhelmed with simple things that it feels like I’m just going to fall over. The best way I can describe it is like being a beginning in a video game being thrown into an expert level without any gear or stats. If that makes any sense.
its so interesting how autism, adhd and anxiety overlap quite a bit. i've got anxiety, and strongly relate to about half of these (liking routine/having routines others might find odd, hating certain forms of communication, having trouble maintaining friendships, behaviors at home that you wouldn't do in public, being both overwhelmed by others emotions and under-reacting to certain things, etc)
I myself don’t know id I have adhd or autism since they both have symptoms that are similar . I feel like that autism fits more with my symptoms and my mom thinks that adhd fits my symptoms more. I want to have one of those test but my mom says it isn’t necessary, so I use these vids to kinda find out. Hopefully when I’m an adult I can finally get a test
@@brickTopia-stopmotion I can't judge your situation but people who love you sometimes seem to think that superficially claiming you're normal makes you more normal. It doesn't. I think if you state your wish clearly and don't play it down, she should support you.
I want to suggest not just asking for a test, but having a talk with an experienced psychologist. In my experience it doesn't matter if you have more autism than adhd, but having someone actually listen to your doubts and tell you why that works as it does, helps a lot.
Misdiagnosis is common too, especially in Women. Too many “professionals” still think Autism is just a male problem.
@Li F I’m on the spectrum, but it was my sister that frequently eloped and had a rocking stim! She is not on the spectrum.
@@brickTopia-stopmotion You could have both
I don't have a diagnoses, but I definitely relate to many of the things that people on the spectrum experience. One that I am growing very tired of as I get older is masking. I am not a very expressive person, so I put on for people all the time. If I don't they think I am sad, or they offended me in some way, or just that something is wrong. When I tell them that nothing is wrong, they never believe me. I can't imagine explaining masking to them. It makes me feel very manipulative.
UA-cam's algorithm is being a little direct with this one
😬🤣
Haha. Ah, this one cut to my core.
Please don't anger the algorithm.
YEAH
4:09 "Do you often notice things that others dont?" No, that missing apostrophe doesn't bother me at all
Ash, we think the same 👍🏻
I wonder if he did it like that on purpose as part of the test? 🤔🙁
Where is your full stop WHERE IS YOUR FULL STOP???! lol 😉
@@ThePinkBinks 😅
Ash Pragasam hehe 🙃
"17: Do you often notice things that others dont?"
Things such as missing apostrophes?
Also forks on the right side of the plate instead of the left. Oppsie, there goes my autism again.
Ha ha!😊
Yess!!!
Oh yes
...or when people use incorrect grammar ;-)
A ton of these are also ADHD traits, if you combine that with social anxiety due to RSD, childhood bullying and/or effective criticism from adults, you've got half of these. You wouldn't think of them as being similar but it some ways they are.
I got 15 yes and 10 no and a child Psychologist said I had ADHD when I was a kid. My younger brother is thought to be on the spectrum but my family don't want to say that
Yes, !there is the same thats in also in a.d.d. , exactly!.
Are you saying the cocktail of ADHD, RSD (what is this?), with childhood bullying, and effective criticism from adults would produce all the same traits as being autistic?
A lot of these resonate, but a lot of them don’t. I have quite severe social anxiety, and it’s quite hard to know whether that’s the only problem or if there’s more to it.
Yeah I feel very similar to this comment, I also just feel like I'm not normal but I don't have an actual reason why
Tattzz Same here.....😔
I honestly to myself identified with 9 of the mentioned patterns. I dont know If that indicates me into the espectrum but I certainly wonder If my extreme shyness is something normal. Since childhood I have difficults of socialization and now as adult I am suffering into Workplace, always anxious and thinking why I am always pointed as the quiet and unproductive weird guy.
I've been diagnosed with GSAD, and nearly, if not all of them essentially describe me. But like you, there are a lot of things about me that are connected to my anxiety, but seem to go deeper than that. I can't tell if I'm highly neurotic, autistic, and/or have APD. It's really confusing trying to just figure myself out so I can get past it all. I'm almost 28 and my life still has gone nowhere 😕 I've tried seeing psychiatrists and psychoanalysts, but I could never really convey who I am to them, so I never felt like they _really_ understood. It's a really long road, going alone, but I'm figuring it out.
@@dinkledankle What is GSAD? I tried searching and the results were not what I was expecting
As someone who is diagnosed with high functioning autism (Aspergers) I felt inspired to share some of my experiences. These are very strange and specific but I guess this just goes to show you that everyone’s experiences and differ completely
• in terms of sensory issues, one thing that I can’t physically stand is the “s” sound through headphones or earbuds, idk why and I know I sound crazy saying that, but it sounds like such a strong grinding sound that I can’t take
•I’m really sensitive to the sun in the summer, I get sick from the heat really easily and the light is almost as if there’s pressure on my eyes, and i can only look down, this is very uncomfortable for me and also makes me feel like i can’t see where I’m going and I’m going to bump into something
•I often stutter so hard that it doesn’t even sound like English and I have to start all over again, if I’m embarrassed or anxious my words will just mesh together because I just wanna stop talking
•if I don’t know what to say I’ll just repeat what someone else just said if I agree with them…this confuses a lot of people
•if I get reminded of something really embarrassing when I’m alone, I tick, i usually jerk my head or hum really loud as if I’m trying to ignore the thought
•I’m very weird with routines, during covid I developed a routine of doing each step of washing my hands for 5 seconds each so that the whole process adds up to 20 seconds, 5 seconds rubbing soap on my hands, 5 seconds rinsing, and then 5 seconds drying off each hand, I also have to apply my deodorant for 7 seconds
•I create routines for everything and anything that I’m repeating, I create and revise these routines while I’m doing them so that I can get things done as efficiently as possible, if I mess it up I have to try to fix it or readjust my routine
•if there are multiple colors of anything, I have to sort it into rainbow order, I did this with my clothes, the apps on my phone, all of my colored pencils and even when I eat m&m’s or skittles
•a very specific stim that I do, which I also believe happened over quarantine, is that I will trace my finger down my arm or leg and count to 5 (or 10 it depends) then I go in the other direction and count to 4 and I keep going back and fourth until I get to 1, I may even do that pattern within the pattern, and then after I get to one I start again but then start at 4 instead of 5
•I have a terrible habit of talking over people, for the life of me I can never tell when someone is done talking, it’s either that I cut someone off just for them to apologize just for me to say “it’s okay go ahead I always interrupt people” or I wait in a few seconds of silence to make sure their done, and then when I try to speak I realize I’ve waited to long and they start speaking again, this is especially harder in groups so I just don’t say much
I hope that others can relate a little, I have so many more things that I realize as I was writing but this is already a lot so I’ll just leave it there lmfaooo
I was unsure about a few of the questions in the video itself, but I PROFOUNDLY related to almost all of these
Oh yes I cannot find the flow of the conversation. It’s terribly embarrassing.
I do the rainbow order thing too! With everything like you said! And I get really surprised/upset when people don't know the order that colors are supposed to be in the rainbow because it's such a simple thing to know for me.
Aww! I'm trying to learn about asperger's because people have hinted to me that I am! Came across your comment and I feel somewhat like this! Anyways thank you and have a wonderful night!
This is me.
Focusing in this video is the hardest thing ever . I keep putting myself in situations and my mind gets focused on that
Yep. They used to call us "space cadets", then it was adhd, then Asperger's and now we just go straight to being labeled Autistic. Hard to imagine that back in the day, when we thought it was only the one kid in the front of the class with boogers hanging from his nose, mumbling to himself, who was the "special" one. Turns out probably half the class who were struggling to maintain a C average all had it and just didn't realize it, as well as half the other kids who were getting straight A's...and they were just the Savants.
Autism for life💪
The day dreaming during conversations or instruction has always gotten me
When someone tells a story and my mind is blowing up with imagery and taking me off on tangents. About the only thing it comes in handy for is making jokes that are a play on words, as my brain has already pestered me with 3 or 4 different meanings of something someone said (possibly a few sentences ago when I was meant to have continued listening).
Same here, so I'm happy that it's possible to pause it after the questions. For some of the questions my first thought was "No, that's not me!" but when I put myself in a situation where that could appear, I realized that I'm just masking to survive the situation. Yes, I CAN figure out how to behave in most situations in my daily life, but my life is very different to others (because I have been adjusting as much as possible in my enviroment) and even if I had things "made up to suit me" I get sooo tired by a lot of things people seem to do without putting much effort in it...
I'm 71, a crazy old bastard, the one they ask 'What's he doing in there' about. This vid ticked so many of my buttons...how does one know, and beyond the relief of knowing, what does knowing do? I'd still be the odd man out. Excellent and informative production.
"Do you do things at home you wouldn't in public"
Literally everyone...?
I said that too. One of the 10% I answered yes.
He means stims and "tics" like pacing around in a room, fidgeting, rocking, repetitive movements, etc.
Btw I like your pic. For the Empire!
@@MaiiOrduna Old ass pic from the time I made YT. Probably over 10 years now.
Yeah I rock both my twin and I rock
I was beginning to overcome a lot of these issues and then the effing pandemic screwed up everything and all of my typical social gatherings were removed from my life.. Now I feel more awkward, isolated, and socially inept than ever before, I feel like a 12 year old trapped in a 27 year old's body, it's absolute torture. I hate it.
When you say "overcome issues", do you maybe mean you were learning to mask your natural traits? Because, if that's the case, maybe the real torture is dissociating from who you really is and the the best way to overcome these "issues" is by accepting them
Don't panic. Don't despair. You're way out of practice is all. Even highly socially skilled people are feeling distanced and clumsy these days because of COVID.
Keep seeking out social practice as you were before, but know that you'll struggle and probably make mistakes, but also know the skills will return IF you avoid isolating.
Mostly I'm just talking to myself because your comment was like hearing myself. Now that things are "opening up" I have my work cut out for me rebuilding neglected relationships and social contacts.
Same here, all my social anxiety is now snowballed into pandemic anxiety and I feel stuck
mood my dude. i just watched this video and i connected with every question
same.
My dad said one of the weirdest things that happened was when one of his clients at his job diagnosed him with autism (she’s a phycologist). It was weird to him because he’s in his 50s, and has never thought about it because he learned to assimilate to society as he got older. He was definitely called all sorts of things as a kid, but lived in a time and place where mental health was extremely taboo.
@SADIQ IBRAHIM🇬🇧 what the actual hell is wrong with you… do you not understand how the human mind works? There’s nothing that needs to be fixed about your child, you need to learn how to help him.
@@felix_a_fiend My comment is going to be anecdotal, so maybe take it with a grain of salt (and it includes a healthy dose of appeal to authrotiy too); my sister happens to have a masters in psychology AND specializes in autism. Some what coincidental ( wink ) that I have a "high liklihood of being on the spectrum" (and most probably with what used to be called Asperger's. She can't officially diagnose me. As part of her liceses ethics standards, the most she can do is suggest that I get tested ;) ). One of the thnigs I hear her talk about is that all too often the parents of the children she works with are looking to "fix" their child so they'll be "normal." "There's nothing to fix. Different doesn't mean broken."
love the pei ming pfp ✨✨
@@Nobody-mz5no lol thanks, I love MXTX more than I love my grandma
@@felix_a_fiend Yah i mean who doesnt still out here suffering and diving for fandom content to appease my pain till she releases her fourth novel about grim reapers or smth mxtx's writing style really stayed with me now i cant read anything except for historical fictions that are atleast a bit similar im currently trying to finish 2ha so that i can now dive into more danmei fandoms lololol
I’ve always felt like I was different. Hard to communicate or make friends or keep jobs. I really think I’m on the spectrum and accepting it will make me feel better because there isn’t anything wrong with me. Most of these questions applied to me
“8. Do you go through cycles of hyperproductivity? And then burnout?”
the other day i did every single assignment for a class that has been assigned in the past 10 weeks, in a single day. today and yesterday i havent been able to do anything for any class.
Oh my god same! Last week I worked without a break from 8 to 5 and now I can’t make myself do any of the work
Umm happened to me today 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
woah i havent gotten notifications for this at all lol, its nice to see how some of you guys have had the same experiences! im glad im not alone in this
foolish kai felt this in my soul
This happened to me with my art, I would draw about everyday for hours then suddenly I can’t draw anything for an entire week or two it’s like I’m unmotivated and burnt out, I still have ideas but I don’t have the energy to draw it,
I have ADHD and most of those also apply. It helped me notice that despite being different kinds of neurodivergence, they are actually pretty similiar in many regards.
honestly im getting to a point that i think i have both, especially since autism and adhd have a high percentage of comorbidity. I'm diagnosed with adhd, but i don't think the adhd is enough to make me feel like an absolute alien interacting with anyone normal
thanks because i suspect i have adhd and this might be why i connect to this. i wonder now what i do have.
@@bluebellbeatnik4945 ADHD and autism are comorbid! And they have overlapping symptoms, but they're definitely different from each other. Make sure to get information from trustworthy sources!!
In that they are both imaginary. There's nothing wrong with any of these people. They're just different.
But they are good ways to describe some types of people.
You should not take drugs for any of this. You should instead find ways of living that work for you.
@@bobbiemiles-foremaniii8747 You have no idea what you're talking about mate. Don't spread misinformation without educating yourself
The issues he's mentioning here probably have been felt a little by everyone at some time or another. What will define autism is how severe you experience these things and how often. A small example: We all have felt misunderstood at one time or another. Very few of us would say we're "always misunderstood". We have all felt anxiety at some time in public; however, for most of us these were isolated circumstances. We don't always feel this way. Autism doesn't suddenly "begin": it fades in. It's a matter of degrees.
Well stated.
"I feel misunderstood but I have friends"
Not really a tick in the box for whether you're autistic.
"I feel misunderstood and have few or no friends"
That's when that question indicates autism.
@@SherrifOfNottingham That's also difficult tho. I feel misunderstood but I have friends. Almost all of those friends are "weird" in one way or the other (ocd, adhd, autism, you name it), so we understand each others issues fairly well. Most of us are terrible at keeping in contact, I'm autistic and adhd so I suck at communicating with people in general.
I would say "I feel misunderstood by everyone except my closest friends" would also fit to autism, since most people dislike autistic people for what feels like no reason, but you can still find friends.
No, it's much more basic than that, and it's why neurodivergence isn't accepted.
Everyone's felt "a bit left out" or misunderstood.
To feel like you don't belong in the actual world is quite different.
Nazi ideology doesn't suddenly "begin": it fades in.
Oh !! This really helped me to understand now that I’m an undiagnosed autistic. Now I can show my husband and my parents this video and I strongly relate to these questions. Thank-you so much Paul.
I’ve never been diagnosed but have always related strongly to autistic traits, to me it’s obvious I’m on the spectrum. But I’ve been hesitant to talk about it with anyone as I’ve had a therapist flat out tell me I do not have it.. all of the questions in your video I relate strongly to. The second question especially, I’m afraid I won’t be taken seriously by a therapist
Ask a different therapist. I've been dealing with psychologists and therapists for over 15 years (half my life), and the only conclusion I've reached in that time, is that whatever diagnosis you get or don't get is entirely dependent on which psychologist you ask. Try 5 different "experts" and you'll get 5 different answers - almost as if people and their personalities don't actually fit neatly into nice, neat, labeled boxes, and describing a person's unique personality requires a lot more words than you'll find in any one single diagnosis.
@@LadyDoomsinger Autism is not an entire personality dude
@@disgustof-riley It's part of the personality.
@@disgustof-riley um, yes, it is, dude.
I relate to that! Therapists - so many of them seem they should NOT be therapists. My whole family seems to be on the spectrum. I recognize it immediately, but therapists may only have a bit of training. They don't understand it from the inside!
Is UA-cam trying to telling me something by putting it in my feed?
I don't remember when it happened :'v
I ask the same question too. Just know that you gotta have right diagnosis from a professional in order to really know whether this is you or not. Self diagnosis is bs and sad because people struggle to the point where they got the WebMD effect.
I wonder that too. I answered yes to just one question. The sensitive one. My nose is crazy sensitive. But never stopped me from doing things...
Filler of the Void UA-cam has diagnosed all of us with Aspergers
UA-cam promoted the most pro-trans videos that existed, and I still had no fucking clue for years., UA-cam knows everything, trust no one, choose one, the red or the blue pill?
This feels so validating, having someone list things I struggle with but can’t put into words, thank you
same ! highly relatable !
Same omg
The insane amount of effort it takes to appear normal !! Basic stuff takes everything I’ve got. I push myself relentlessly to barely keep up with the demands of life. I’m done with intimate relationships ! Never again, just too hard.
Think about it like anxiety. Everyone has moments of anxiousness, but if it’s a constant, repeated behavior, something you notice often, or of higher than normal severity, then it’s likely you have an anxiety disorder and don’t just experience moments of anxiety. It’s the same thing here. Everyone has had MOMENTS like these, but if you experience these on a regular basis and find that they seem to be happening outside the normal severity of other people, then there’s likely something more going on.
Thank you I love this so much
That’s a really interesting/clear way of putting it.
Exactly, that's why these questions start with "do you often?".
I really relate to most of this things, specially being "gullible" or having a hard time realizing when something is a joke or if it is serious. Also, I've been asked if I "even have feelings" just because it really hard for me to understand other emotions and how to respond properly to them
I've always knew I had autistic tendencies
But, wow, maybe I'm a bit more than just "sorta Asperger's"
I'm going to ask my psychiatrist about it, thanks man
Oof that always hurts. I'm kind of cold to people because I'm just not a good communicator and it's not like I'm trying to be cold or mean but anyways I have definitely gotten a comment along the lines of "do you have feelings". I've also been asked "who hurt you?!" because I wasn't as talkative and outgoing as some people. I actually got yelled that from across the hall at work from a coworker and it was hard to continue my shift like everything was normal.
I speak English and Japanese, and I used to joke with my peers in high school that "sarcasm with a third language I simply can't understand."
So this point among others in the video really spoke to me o-o
I also found that when people are sad it's easy to sympathize and help out, but when someone becomes angry or furious I quickly shut down thinking "isn't that a waste of time and energy to get angry over (insert reason here)"
It's had people question me as well for being psychopathic because I couldn't understand their rage.
Same, sarcasm is like my mother tongue yet in conversation with others I get "whooshed" sometimes and have to ask whether or not something someone said was serious or not
I've had this issue since I can remember. My two siblings always say 'it's a joke' when they say one because they noticed that I always seem confused when they joke.
I feel this deeply, ive been told im a robot and mysterious because i dont know how to respond so i just dont
I don't know how to express how much I feel these questions in my soul without sounding completely cliche. I cried three times while watching this
so did I
Welcome home to both of you.
Ticked 17/25. Especially very cold person as never really felt emotion even when parents died and can’t remember crying even.
I am a parent of someone who was just diagnosed and in learning about autism I have slowly begin to think that I am also autistic. The more and more I research the more and more I believe I am. I have resonated with most of what you said here as well as with several other people who vlog about the subject. I would have never guessed but wow. I have sent my child to a school for autism and now I’m finding out that that is what some of my struggles could have been my whole life as well…
I work with students with exceptional needs and this happens all the time, parents seek and receive an ASD diagnosis after their child is diagnosed
Please remember that just because "some of these questions may relate to you, does not make you autistic.
True. c: But if I relate to nearly all of these besides a few, am I autistic?
What if you answered yes to all of them?
It works the other way around too... Autism is a spectrum so some of the answers might not hit as hard as the others
well, i got 22 and i have not been formally diagnosed, and i’m under 18, my mother doesn’t believe my speculation that i may be autistic, so for now im going to self diagnose. i just want to know why i am the way i am.
Be careful not to jump to any conclusions. A lot of these are good indicators, but overlap with other disorders. The “spectrum” also dips well into the very broad range of “normal”. While it is really nice to learn about one’s self, and find new ways to conceptualize our struggles, be careful not to view these traits as a disability unless they rise to the level that they have a significant disruptive impact on your life and happiness. Their diagnosis really must come from a well trained and experienced mental health professional who is able to provide an objective and knowledgeable third party perspective. Ideally, there should be cognitive testing and a good exploration of your emotional functioning and history.
I remember always getting confused when talking to anyone but myself, and trying to "just go with it" got me into more trouble than it was worth, so I started being honest with people and telling them "I simply don't understand" and that didn't work either because people, family and friends, or classmates, would call me stupid all the time, despite a 3.7 GPA High honor roll. Ya just can't win with people that are not autistic.
I have no problems relating to other people.... As long as they are Aspie!
Same here!🌛
I nailed 21 of the 25, after a 7 hour test from my shrink, he said I was on the spectrum, but didn't say what part, or where, but I actively AVOID noisy areas, loud noises trigger panic attacks, I can't be surrounded by people, that can trigger anger and or anxiety, I have no friends, a tbi, adhd, bi polar, severe anxiety, ocd, impulse control is shot, short term memory goes right out the window when stressed out, I tend to eat the same things over and over again, it's like a comfort, I also have my "good luck charm" that goes everywhere with me, if it's not in my site it triggers panic attacks, where I tear my apt apart looking for it and only calm down once I find it....the way I am, my disability has made my ENTIRE extended family stop talking to me, 300+ people, lost my mom to ALS in 2016, I was totally alone, until I met somebody with epilepsy who understands how I am, esp with a TBI injury on top of my disability, arthritis in all my joints, self hate because alot of the time I find it hard to understand simple directions and get called fu*&king stupid idiot, so I keep to myself and rarely go outside..my life is going nowhere, and my ability to deal with strangers is NOT helping
I feel more understood by this video than I've ever been by any human being or institution ever.
Me too
For me, I can answer most of the questions with yes. I don't know how I can cope better in everyday life. There are many things that make me feel like an alien, do something wrong, or say something wrong. I've always tried to learn from others' behaviors and then imitate them. But that's not me. I feel uncomfortable and prefer to be home alone. No idea how to go on.
I feel similarly. My therapist has recommended that I work on acceptance of myself and allowing myself to feel uncomfortable and anxious. No solutions here but I found instead of beating myself up about how I am, I can be as awkward and uncomfortable as I need to be to do whatever I need to do. Otherwise, I really find myself closing my life in on myself when I start thinking about this and that. I will avoid the things that I need to do. I guess my point is to try to be okay as much as you can with being uncomfortable and taking whatever steps you need to take while out. I feel uncomfortable all the time when I am out, but I'm learning to be okay with that and it is helping me at least get through those things that I have to do.
I hear you . We are different . I spend so much time alone with my cat . I need to get out . Volunteer to people who need help. Old people who have no one . I'm pretty old myself . Hang in there . You are valued .
I think we tend to split ourselves apart trying to connect to each different set up we find ourselves in
Re-integrate yourself. Make friends with each part of you that has fragmented off
Once you regroup you feel less alone even when you are alone
It takes time and practice though
Same here. I'm 48 now and few years back my life went to shit, hardly any help from friend or family. Homeless, broke, you name it. Lived in my van for over a year. Since I found my new love (Girlfriend) things are better, living with her now and she also has a degree of ASD. Anyways I've stopped trying to please others. Best thing is to get into contact with other people with autism.
Paul Freedman I’m so glad to hear you’ve found happiness, god bless you
I am on the verge of tears. At almost 29 years old, I feel like I am finally starting to understand myself. I related strongly to about 20/25 of these if not more. I feel like you literally described me. Although I do not yet have an official diagnosis, beginning to see myself as (possibly/likely) autistic has helped me understand so much about myself WHILE NOT TRYING TO CHANGE THOSE THINGS. I cannot thank you enough for this.
You’re not alone I’m 64 and just not now I understood what was going on in my life. But now we know 🤗
37 here and starting to realize why some things are so difficult for me..
Bottom line is love yourself. Functionally austistic people are special. Elon Musk is on the spectrum and has talked about it. Many austistic people have a higher IQ than general society. Be honest with people...as honest as you can be.
I don't really talk about it much. My brother is really 'different' in an autistic sense, has a very high IQ but pretty much tries to fly under the radar. He is very disengaged and I always wished he was more of a real brother to me.
My parents dealt with all of us pretty well but little was known many years ago.
40 and not recovered from burnout for 10 years but kept being pushed.
i’m 22 and i think i might be on the spectrum, you’re not alone
Question 21: Do you feel like it's YOUR job to fit in?
I've been looking into autism for quite awhile now, and of everything I relate with and have experience with, I think this is the one that opened my eyes the most. All throughout my life I've been asking myself and professionals how I can better fit in, and until now I did not connect those dots. Along with that, an inability to communicate with others when there is no common interest (Q.19) and what I've realised is quite a dull emotional reaction to some things but a very strong over-reaction to others being the strongest for me really stands out to me as what I relate to the most. I've always just called it being an introvert, or antisocial. I was coping, until I wasn't. I think it's time to get support.
Thank you.
I’ve never felt more understood for once in my life. I answered yes to all of these and it blows my mind how accurate everything was.
I answered yes to all of these questions too, but I wouldn't be so quick to jump on the autism bandwagon. I think a lot of it comes down to how encouraging and supportive you parents were at a young age and how many solid friendships you have. When you have low confidence, you will tend to mirror a lot of these same symptoms. I think more people have these "symptoms" than you think
@@ziggyjohnston5302
I wonder if people who sincerely believe they may be autistic are really interested in jumping on the, as you say, ‘autistic bandwagon’? What is the point?
@@johnlong8082 The point is that it puts a label on yourself that has negative connotations in society. Say what you will, but people think less of those who are "autistic". It also limits your capacity and potential because you're putting yourself in a box that has a clear set of predetermined outcomes. People will refer to you as "special" and you won't get the girl or cool friends because people will see that you're playing the victim card and no one wants to be around that. Autism is an over diagnosed condition that also mimics low "self esteem" and other problems that are completely controllable. There are some people that are actually autistic and they are special and should be taken care of. But there are also a lot of people that say "Wow, OMG, these autism "symptoms" explain who I am 100%! I must be autistic!" Just like ADHD, not all who say they have it, actually do. We need to be careful that we're not promoting people to sell themselves short when they have so much beauty to offer the world. People just need a little bit of encouragement
@@ziggyjohnston5302
I think there are those who feel the need to label themselves as autistic for all sorts of reasons. Some people like to feel ‘special’ and it’s a label that they can hang their failures in life on, by way of an excuse. I agree with you about the negative effects that autism can instil in people and the effects it can have on your life. But my earlier comment was more about the sincere person who is not interested in labelling themselves or even seeking a proper diagnosis, but more about making sense of their own life history and learning to understand themselves better. Engaging in these types of forums and videos has been very helpful to me in that respect.
@@johnlong8082 Fair enough. I appreciate your engagement. For those who are truly autistic I completely agree, we should take care of them and/or help them in the best ways that we can. I also encourage you to look into the data on how frequently autism is over diagnosed. Pretty scary
That’s it. I’m taking it seriously now, I think I’m on the spectrum. Every single one of these questions except maybe 2 or 3 were hits. No misses.
You could have a lot of the symptoms and still not have autism but it is good to look into it! Everyone experiences autism differently so you could have it your whole life without really realizing it.
Me being diagnosed with autism: still follows along answering questions
Same
Same
Same
Same
@@hanaasako5983 lol
I fit in all. I'm Brazilian. I was diagnosed as a person in the spectrum of autism here by a psychiatrist. And also have ADHD, obsessive compulsive disorder, social phobia disorder, generalized anxiety disorder and depression as comorbidities and binge eating. I guess that's because it took too long to get the diagnosis. I only got it few months ago with 29 years of age.
I have been eating the same thing for breakfast for the last 8 years, by choice. That's normal right? Overly sensitive to light, noise and smell. I hear things no one else hears. I can't stand talking on a phone. I don't know when to talk. Other people chit chat so easily, but I simply don't understand how they do it. More, importantly, I don't see the point. I reply with scripted responses, regardless of what the initial input conversation starter was: "Hi!"... me "Good thanks"... fuck :| My hobbies turn into extreme interests (complete and utter devotion of time, research and practice to one topic at a time... I've decided to push that into a new career, took up programming, and I'm really enjoying it), to the point where I talk about nothing else. My work approached me to pay for my diagnosis. That's good right?
Everything you’ve stated is 100% accurate for me as well. “More importantly, I don’t see the point” perfect.
Omg I think you're me, lol
Im sensitive to light, smell and noise as well as repetitive movement in my peripheral vision. I have above average hearing and am sensitive to all manner of signals. We have social dispersion signals that only teenagers can hear in our towns, to stop them for gathering (in the UK). Iam 47 and I can hear them. and they are distressing. likewise with hobbies and interests ...
This is one of the most autistic comments I have read in a while. No, it's not a bad thing. It's not bad at all
@The Cløwn you are asd?
Am I the only one who has never seen the need to fit in??? I find myself absolutely hilarious and interesting, while most other people are so boring and confusing that I just don't care. It would take too much effort to try and be like them when I think my interests are way more fun and take less energy, even if I'm left with less friends. I wouldn't want any new friends if we're not going to understand eachother. Is that just me???
Kinda sorta. I'm pretty good at entertaining myself, however I still feel lonely. I wish I could just have friends, any friends, even if they don't like what I like. I figure if I could just develop some social skills that wouldn't be as big of an issue. But realistically that just isn't gonna work. I'd still feel lonely, heck, I've been in that situation before.
i remember deliberately choosing to do things that most other people didn't choose because i took pride in being different, mostly because my parents praised me for my uniqueness
I feel the same way
No, I can relate, but I am really looking for good friend. Because three are jsut.. Yeah I Mena one is always busy with school, the other one does better with her other friends and the third one... Yeah kinda the same as the second one. I am always worrying if I can find someone new or what I did wrong. Last time I was so scared to not call my friend because I thought she would never ever call me one day and I would loose her.
*just,mean
I am not autistic, but I'm glad this video popped up in my recommendations! 👍🏻 It's very useful and since I'm a teacher knowing more about how people on the spectrum feel is crucial and it can actually really help me in my job and daily life. Btw seems like some of my internet friends are autistic 💜 Thank you for an informative video!
But this is actually VERY interesting! A lot of comments here are wondering if non autistic people also feel those things very often and intense. Could you share with us how it is for you? There is a lot of "Im probably just exaggerating and it's like that for everyone" going on here (myself included!).
@@ravingcuriosity6345 I will......I am not autistic. How I know I am not is I was always described as "weird", "off" or just "strange". The reason, we all called that 20 years ago "thinking outside the box", I also don't think putting a linear system like society inside an already working eco-system called Earth was so smart to do. It shows how weak we truly are, we fear things in the natural world so we needed a false sense of safety and security. So when the same folks who prescribe to such a system I generally have some skepticism attached.
Yes I feel things very intensely and sometimes not at all, I sometimes have extreme behavior when I can't reconcile what another person is trying to say because generally its told to me as if I should regard society as a natural system when it is not so the rule set they are using is one that really don't exist unless you believe a man in a white house can cure all the problems in the world or even society when they lie and promise and don't deliver. The rule set is only applicable to a functioning society that still exists, I have several examples of why that don't work, one example was the British Empire that don't exist anymore. We are all just too different for a linear system to work like that.
There are times I feel apathetic and can look at something with a fair amount of ease that would disturb another person. But if I am apathetic too long then empathy comes back to collect. I was actually so apathetic when I was younger, around 38 it came back really badly because I ignored it so long. All I could ask my wife was, "why do we treat each other the way we do?" I got an honest "I don't know." back.
What I am mostly saying is some emotions I can turn on and off at will, unless it is more extreme. Like the people in Ukraine, I cannot watch that, the reason is an overwhelming sense of empathy and knowing it could have ended on the first day and didn't while the world watched it made me extremely mad. Notice how the extreme actions that are tied to extreme emotions I can no longer control. Hearing about a person dying of cancer is usually more of a passing comment for me, apathy and empathy are both there but I can choose which one to focus on. Seeing a person dying of cancer, nope cannot watch it either, its too sad for me to watch. Also cannot watch people loose a spouse, my own battle with that idea one day happening is why. Normally you should be able to switch between two emotions, its why some of us try a more understanding approach to anger rather than meeting it with anger.
Navigating your own emotions cannot be done by anyone other than you, know one knows your mind like you do. Anyone who pretends they do is a liar, even I can't really tell you if you have a problem or not, but the fact you question it tells me you are normal. A person who wasn't wouldn't worry about it, the most extreme example of that is someone like Ted Bundy, you really think he thought out the emotions of others? We executed him....thats how much we believed he did.
Its literally people telling others......."No wait, I know your mind better than even you." Which is pretty arrogant for a person to lead another person to believe.
Emotions are difficult, its why I cannot believe the atheist approach to there being no God, I cannot measure or explain why humans would have traits like killing their own specie or have any of the emotions from an evolutionary standpoint. It makes no sense for me to believe there is no God when I cannot explain why I have an imagination. Its always kind of stupid in my opinion to abandon the path to scientific discovery, hypothesize, theorize and test. They stopped at hypothesize. So when I considered everything used to explain away God took 1 thing, the universe had to exist, I can't believe their position myself. Can't really use measurements and science from within a universe directly dependent upon it existing first to even work. The real Heisenberg said so in the principal of uncertainty, the more you know about the position of a particle the less you know about its speed and vice versa. Basically, if you focus on there being no God the less you will notice proof there is one and vice versa, its their whole "I'm smarter because I believe the most linear idea in the world and think its open minded when it clearly is not." arrogance that makes me angry with them. Literally double talking like a con artist, "its a non-belief" give me a break, thats totally a con. Root word is conniving, its not a good thing to be, but I guess they think it is. So it goes both ways for both sides, so I can only believe there is a God, I cannot tie it to any ideology when I know it was a human who wrote all of it. Probably piggybacking off the actual authority and power of God, free will and all. Let them make their mistakes and learn from them, seems pretty parental to me and fair. I think its all it ever wanted. Sorry for this section, theology interests me, even if I can't get behind an ideology surrounding a limitless being. Limitless means that, there should be no dogmatic ideology, it just confused a bunch of people.
Sorry to hit with so many different ideas and thoughts I really think outside the box the majority of the time. I see the linear way of doing something and try to see other ways to accomplish it with more efficiency. It can fall short if I overlook something as I admittedly sometimes do, I'm human, I haven't ever forgotten that. Thats how you stay in touch with you and everyone you care about. Always remind yourself you are human and subject to human error, saying "i don't know" is the smartest thing a person can say, its the easiest way to know when you don't know something. Reminding yourself you are human, just keeps you grounded in life, it forces you to always remember where you came from and who helped get you there. It's why I still will not curse in front of my mom or dad, I know it all started with their decision, not mine. I like being alive, I owe them for maintaining my life when I was too stupid to do it myself, I owe God for creating the energy that makes up my consciousness. Both acted exactly in the same manner, its another reason I cannot deny God's existence, I would be forced to think what my parents did was a remedial job when I know it wasn't. It appears both worked hand in hand from the start to ensure my existence and survival. Both deserve my gratitude.
Thanks for reading.
@@evilcowboy This trend on autism is an attempt at trying to make people believe that anyone who isn't typically programmed for the current vision of society is a sick person. It's so dumb it's funny.
I'm on my journey and have just realized recently I'm on the spectrum. This knowledge has changed my entire life, and the way I see my past and myself! I no longer beat myself up for NUMEROUS things. All of this is labeled as an HSP (highly sensitive person), and an empath, etc., in the self discovery realm. Ty for this validation🤗❤️
I planned to watch this and pause after each question to think genuinely on it. I didn't expect to start crying from feeling so seen, and having my thoughts over my entire life set before me. Thank you, I will keep learning now.
57 years! I found out last December (2019) after reading an article on Asperger's and everything was just me. All the odd things in my life are now explained.
I have embraced it and am now 'the asparagus boy' ! Even explains why I didn't talk until I was 3 and a half and then I suddenly started and had the grammar of a 6 year old. I was rather shocked that morning when it dawned on me, but now I finally have that inner peace that comes from getting an answer to that basic question of 'Why?'. I am proud to be me and nothing will ever change that.
@bright star That's brilliant and helpful, thanks!
This made me cry. I relate strongly to every question, my whole life. I'll look into it further, thank you.
It's other people's stories that get me. It's validating and brings back some harsh memories at the same time.
My teen self would have answered 23 out of 25 questions with a strong yes. I am happy that now I have found a loving partner and great friends (quite probably also in the spectrum) that allow me to be myself and not worry about being "weird" around them.
first.time i saw this video it clicked for me. i went after a neuropsychological evaluation, 10 sessions of tests. found i'm on the spectrum,.just saw the video again today, a perfect description of me. thank you Paul, you are great
Do you also have a masters degree and a professional job? I’m starting to think I’m on the spectrum but I can’t believe it because I have 2 degrees and a Pastor lol
@@rev.e.regisbunch4097 I have a master degree, it's easy when it's your special interest. however I had many problems with my teachers and the 'obligatory' stuff that academy expect of us. I dont have a professional job. I work as a dogwalker and I have an youtube channel about my special interest... I can't keep with jobs and deal with people...
you can be autistic and a pastor, because it's not social interaction, it's monologue
@@rev.e.regisbunch4097
It is not related, bro, many in the spectrum have degrees and all 🙃 autism doesn't mean "stupid" or "definitely unable to achieve more than others".
Depends on the person, some find it more difficult than others, sometimes related to autism, sometimes not.
I, for example, have no degree yet, but it is not because I can't, it is because the old man is nuts about religion to the point of calling the outside world a "contaminated area" and the schools are outside...so he kept me and my brothers from studying.
Now I have to study in adult school, I was in adult school equivalent of high school when pandemic started.
So it definitely depends more on each person and their opportunities and life situations than on autism.
i've never felt so recognized / understood -- i cried watching this video just thinking "wow, so there really are other people like me?" this is such an amazing feeling for me. my mind has been blown. thank you :)
Yes, and can we start our own little town somewhere? because the bullying and everything else
@SADIQ IBRAHIM🇬🇧 this has got to be a sick joke of some kind. are you kidding? free of autism???
@@fletcherprince yes! The bullying Is deadly!💔
Me too! 💔
same i was like bro is he spying on me all of them are just like me and i cant explain them
ADHD has a fair bit of crossover too. Eg. Hard to change contexts (takes a while), feeling different, hard to do things.
But also trauma from abuse can make a few of these things seem true or be who you are. Not being sure the real you is ok to show people, is part of that; expecting that people won't understand or care about your feelings, or value you
Exactly.. how I feel. But how do you know if you've masked for so long . I just thought a lot of me was because of my childhood. I have just been diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 55 and am feeling overwhelmed. Someone said I might have it years ago, but I didn't think I had it because I looked after teenagers with high function ADHD and autism. I was comparing myself to them, so I thought, what the hell are they on about. I have still not met anyone who is like me.. I don't even know what me is no more. I've tried to fit in most of my life and can fit in with anyone because of my job as a support worker in the past.
This is all new to me, and I am trying to find out stuff as I am waiting for a therapist or some kind of help as since I've stopped working, I've gotten worse. 🙃
1 - Yes. Always. For as long as I can remember I have felt fundamentally different from other people, even people who, theoretically, I should relate to on a deeper level than most. They just don't connect. I often tell people that I feel like an alien or a robot, not a human.
2 - I'm not entirely sure what you mean? I guess I don't tell people about myself very often.
3 - I used to be very, very different depending on who was around. I was a different person with certain friends, peers, teachers, I was different at home around my family and different when I was alone. Nowadays, I try not to be so varied. I try to take my personality with me everywhere I go, no matter who's around. I stim both physically and verbally in public, now.
4 - I sure do! I still can't multiply numbers. Addition, subtraction, and division are all pretty easy, but for some reason multiplication is very hard. Does that count?
5 - I actually get very angry with people when they spring things on me that I'm unprepared for. If someone suddenly tells me that there's something I have to do, that I was unaware of, even if it's "easy" or "quick," I get really upset. Don't surprise me! I don't like being surprised!
When I was younger they thought I was on the spectrum but never actually got tested. Got diagnosed for depression and anxiety. This makes sense.
Then seek help! You can overcome it!☺
I also thought of autism but thank god it is just ADHD
@@kerimvvm4812 Good for you!😏. Now u can still have social skills!😌
b00st3d_6_6 currently trying but it can be tough without health insurance. Also covid has been making things a little difficult.
@@sarahgriola8882 I mean Ig Im very mild then also autism is much more severe tho I know autistic people that are like totally messed up.
Meeting other people on the spectrum is how I discovered my own autistic identity. My (now) wife was the first person to suggest I might also be on the spectrum, and as I came out publicly I ended up helping others in my social circle reach the same conclusion about themselves. At this point a majority of my friends are autistic, and the friends who learned about their autism from me are now helping their own friends discover this about themselves - turns out we often recognize and gravitate towards one another, even when we don't yet know to call it "autism" or "aspergers".
Being able to un-mask with other auties has been so healing for me, and little makes me feel as warm and compassionate as seeing another autistic person, often undiagnosed, meeting other accepting autistic folks for the first time. Like *YES*, *PLEASE* continue telling me about your interest in giant isopods! Your excitement is beautiful! It's okay to be "weird" here and your joy brings me joy as well!
I recognize the traits from my younger self, but now I'm over 70 and years of dealing with this has taught me to roll with the punches!
If you like reading:
1:have you always felt different to your peers?
2:Do you worry about not being believed when you tell others about yourself?
3:Do you adopt different mannerisms when home alone? Things you wouldn’t do in public?
4:Do you have gaps in your skill set? Some simple things that other can do easily but you can’t?
5:Do you like to be prepared? And dislike last minute changes?
6:Are your routines sometimes seen as extreme or odd?
7:Do you like to focus on ONE thing at a time? Because it takes a lot of effort to shift gears?
8: Do you go through cycles of hyper productivity? And the burnout?
9: Do you struggle to hold down a job? Friends? Relationships?
10: do you have trouble expressing what you really mean? Especially under stress?
11: Are there some common types of communication that you find extremely difficult? Or uncomfortable?
12: Are you sometimes gullible? Struggling to tell if people are being serious or not?
13: Do you often wish people wouldn’t say what they mean? But get angry when they don’t?
14: are you particularly sensitive or insensitive to certain things?
15: Does this lead to significant discomfort in some types of public situations? Or in participation in social activities?
16: Do you feel like dealing with the outside world can be difficult or stressful?
17: Do you often notice things that others don’t?
18:Are things that are obvious to others not obvious to you?
19: Do you have uncommon intrests or passions? That others just don’t get?
20: Do you find dealing with people to be difficult? Or confusing?
21:Do you feel like it’s YOUR job to fit in? If you want to make friends?
22:Are you constantly worried about doing the wrong thing socially?
23:Do you often feel overwhelmed by other people’s emotions? Or not feel them at all?
24:Are you often surprised when people tell you what they’ve been thinking/feeling? Because you had no idea?
25: Have you revived other labels/diagnoses? That didn’t quite seem to fit?
Ik there are lots of people who like reading better than listening out there, here you go!
I’m 48 and I answered an immediate yes to almost all these questions and a 90% maybe on the rest. I’ve always struggled socially. When I was growing up in the 80’s, I was always the weird kid, the outsider. I did have friends and I was involved in activities with kids my age but I still always felt weird. I was never good at sports. I did things like marching band and Boy Scouts. I loved studying languages and was fascinated by science and history but hated math and really struggled with it even though I was getting A’s in every other class and was an honor student. I wanted to be a neurologist but when I went away to college I really bombed. I had a really hard time socially and did not do well at all academically which was very frustrating and shameful to me. I did graduate in 4 years however but had difficulty finding and keeping a job. I decided to go to a technical school when I was 24 and studied computer networking. I did really well and was top of my class. I even passed certification exams which if anyone has taken them are very difficult. I still struggled with work though. I would take my jobs very seriously and always did my best but could never get a job I knew I could do. I always seemed to be underemployed and still feel that way to this day. I despise job interviews. Grant it, I don’t think anyone likes them but I absolutely can’t stand them. I obtained a masters degree in pharmaceutics and wanted to pursue a PhD. I had excellent grades straight A’s but no program would have me. I couldn’t change careers either. That was really frustrating and had me disappointed for years. I still hold a lit of anger and bitterness towards people and entities who never understood me or tried to understand me and give me a chance. I never had a real girlfriend until I was 40 and got married on my 41st birthday. I could sense that some people were judging me or making fun of me behind my back. This made me very self conscious and really effected my self confidence. I’m at the point now where I don’t give a f- what people think of me and if they don’t like it they can F- themselves. I moved to another state with my wife 4 years ago and now we have a home and a dog. I love it here. This is the best thing I ever did. Still after 4 years here I still haven’t made any close friends. I struggle with trying to keep in touch with people from my home area. I’m a person who while having many struggles also has many gifts. I know I’m smart and more than capable for a lot of things but I have to accept the fact that many people are blind to this and realize that this life is only transitory and temporary anyway and do my best in my own way which may be seen and appreciated but probably won’t be.
Great comment!!
Thank you for such an honest comment.
Thank you for your comment. ❤
This puts my entire life into perspective...We have a 5 year old daughter (not biological) who is diagnosed on the spectrum, and in learning about her, I found I was learning much about myself as well. So much makes sense now...and even though I've been aware of this for about a year, still...listening to this video almost made me cry. Not sad tears...but tears of relief that things finally make sense.
Julie Tate I understand how you feel.
My son was diagnosed in middle school and the more I learned about him the more I realized that I too must be Autistic. It took me years to finally go see a doctor but he confirmed what I suspected. My bond with my son has really grown since I was diagnosed and I am so much more comfortable with who I am.
I started crying about halfway through. Uoure not alone. Spending time with my nephew and seeing the similiar idiosyncrasies as others call them that I portrayed at his age was kind of what opened up my heart to truly researching and connecting with the commumity
I think me and my children are on the spectrum. Currently I am thinking about getting a diagnosis.
Exactly .
When my son was diagnosed with Aspergers at 28, I cried for 2 weeks . Finally . It wasn't my fault . My husband blamed me . He is still struggling.. And I am on the spectrum also.
Always felt different . We are different but not alone .
@Julie Tate Is your daughter a cyborg? Since she's not biological. 🤖
After researching this for awhile, I’m convinced that I have Aspergers. Unfortunately I didn’t find out until much later, I’m 48 now and to be honest my life isn’t too good. I have a lot of depression from loneliness and constant rejection and therapy has never helped. Thank you for your channel it’s been a big help to me.
I’m 48 and recently convinced myself too. However, I’ve decided to embrace it and live the way I want to even if it doesn’t look appealing to most people.
Hey, now you can try to find someone else with autism to relate to, hang out with, text with or email with!! (y'know, your specific, preferred way of communication like the video said😆) The internet is a wonderful, connected place! Plus, now if you have an idea of what your own ways are, you may be able to find a more specialized therapist that may help you better than previous ones if you're willing to give that another try. At risk of giving a grown, experienced adult unsolicited, unwanted advice.... At 48, you've still got plenty of opportunities to turn things around. Keep an eye out for positive things and it will become increasingly easier spot them and invite it into your daily life. Try identifying limiting habits and intentionally breaking them.
I'm not sure what you're dealing with, but something I've dealt with plenty of times that led to MY depression and loneliness was focusing on not doing the wrong things, so I ultimately ended up not doing much of anything and the things I thought would make me cool to do, that I would normally never do, were actually strange and alienated me from others. Try not to care if people like you or not (because so far it hasn't worked anyway apparently) and take a leap and talk to them about what's really on your mind that you might think would be strange to ask them. They might just be really intrigued by your thoughts and think you're pretty interesting. Happened to me.
Also, it seems to me that a ton of people with autism are quite analytical (not sure if that's more specifically an Asperger's thing, haven't done all my research yet), and that's natural, so I WOULDN'T suggest trying to squash that down but rather using that to your advantage in social situations and planning ahead a strategy for if you feel anxiety in any parts of a plan. A positively reassuring strategy. Look at the best and the worst ways things could go, be prepared for both, hope for the best, and then say "*uck it, it's now or never"... or something like that.
thank you so much for including the point on not diagnosing others, i see WAYYYYY too many ppl doing this
This describes me to a T. It has brought tears to my eyes. I’ve suspected that i’m in the spectrum for years. I’ve felt and known that I was different my entire life, I’m 54. I often joke with a family member and tell them that I must be from a different planet because i’m not like these earthlings. We don’t process, interpret, understand or explain things in the same way. People don’t get me, and I don’t get many of them. But, i’m super ambitious, hard working, managed to earn a bachelors degree and 2 masters degrees. Always held a decent job and raised 5 children fairly successfully on my own. I successfully faked it to make it. As a child, my behavior was shaped by physical discipline which by today’s standards would be classified as physical abuse. “I was taught, “never let them see you sweat” . Translation, Mask the fear, depression, anxiety, oddities and differences. I became fairly good at imitating the behaviors of others. So much is so clear now. I guess it should be no surprise to me that i’ve spent my life trying to help others navigate through the obstacles and challenges faced in this thing called life. Perhaps the real motivation and desire to study and comprehend human behavior lies in half a century of trying to understand who, why, how, and what I am. I’ve just recently completed my masters in psychology with a specialization in applied behavioral analysis and currently work with children on the spectrum. Wow!
I just need help making friends and talk more how to start a conversation
Same
What you need the friends for?
I mean I just hate being quiet like I have no words to say
@@David-sq2en So somebody will notice when we die and arrange for cremation and so forth.
So you have somebody to hit up for a fiver.
Just say hello. :) u got this
Understanding and accepting that I am on the spectrum has been such an eye opening experience. I feel relieved.
I’m 60, I have everything you spoke of from my earliest memories, i am un-diagnosed. I also have ADHA. I live your content, keep up the great work
Very *very * strict routines make me so happy and I feel violently depressed and uneasy when I can't repeat my routines the way I like to. Schedules, plans, and time are huge factors for me.
I may give an advice: Don't get kids. It ruining everything 😂
same. i remember i had a soccer game and it got canceled last minute and i cried for about 30 minutes
If you're bright, academically able and looking for a career path, some are positively welcoming to autistic people. I was a physicist, then a computer programmer, then an academic (software engineering). All these areas were so welcoming to me, valuing my strengths and not stressing my weaknesses.
Being an academic with some teaching and learning duties made me a better actor which helps in unavoidable social situations.
My top tips: wear formal clothes every work day even when your colleagues don't. Learn not to care what others think about you personally but listen to what they think about you professionally. I find that hard to separate but it really helps.
As I have become older, so my ability to empathise with others has grown. Even so, I am by nature a loner and can count my close friends on zero fingers. I can cope with one close friend at a maximum.
being able to lock in on one task and not being able to stop until its complete... and anyone tries to interrupt you is very aggravating.
I used to get sooo mad when my mom would interrupt me while I was super-focused on the video game I was playing. Sometimes I'd yell at her and call her names to get her to leave my room. Now I understand why. If only I had known Autism was an option, I would have laid that heavy card down a looooong time ago, and perhaps could have gotten the meds I needed to help me stay calm.
iam so grateful for these comments and this information. this puts my heart at rest. I have felt as if i have masked so well people have not been able to notice. I have had 4 jobs in the last year feel like my life is falling apart and ready for help.