Patrick Stewart Shares Experience of Domestic Violence At Amnesty International UK
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- Опубліковано 6 вер 2024
- Patrick Stewart, the legendary actor talks about his personal experience of domestic violence at the launch of 'Created Equal', a new book on women's rights.
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Not only is he a brilliant actor, but is is nice to see into his heart a bit. What a man...
As a 35-year survivor of such violence, I can't tell you how humbled I am. Thank you so much for sharing this. Thank you for fighting for us, Sir. May I find strength in this to continue my healing and maybe one day start speaking out on a wider scale.
Hats off to Patrick Stewart
I know this is crazy old but I grew up in a house with domestic violence. And still to this day hits so hard to watch this again. I took it another direction, I saw him try to hurt my sister and mother and poked the bear so he would target me instead. I did that for years. I was the whipping boy, to this day I do feel that inherited anger, that urge to want to let go and repeat the cycle. But instead, I swallow it and resist the urge to tell myself "treat others the way you want to be treated. Like even with poking the bear some times "you pissed off your dad you provoked it." It's like yes because he was gonna target someone either way and had my mother or my sister in his cross hairs.
It is not the best way to deal with it, and to this day I still do it I don't care if you are a stranger or someone I hate with every fiber in my being there is this line thanks to my dad you don't cross ever. Laying hands defiantly way past the line, yelling at people threatening over that line. And jump in, knowing full well I am gonna get "this doesn't involve you," or "don't tell me how to raise my kids." It's like "no no second you did this in front of me you involved me, you can't treat someone that way. What if I treated you like that?" And they snap and lash out "you can't do that, I don't deserve this bla bla bla." And I go "exactly they don't deserve it either."
But talking is how people recognize it. I got reminded all the time who just ignore it. I go "you live in city? If so some one in your street probably is going threw domestic violence at least once a day near you. You can probably pick out wich house it is with out thinking about it. But we ignore it. People do that 'well maybe they deserve it.' No any one can be violent its a choice all the time we have, but its very very veerrrryyy seldom the right choice. In fact experince minus in the army, when its literally shoot or be shoot, its not really the best 9/10." You have to hit something or get an outlet reconize it, get a punching bag or something else and find an outlet for it, that isn't a living thing.
And if that isn't enough get out. I don't get people with divorce and what not so common fighting it. My parents "stayed together for the kids" and my dad used fact my mother was catholic to guilt her into staying together. But why? Both were misrable and it defiantly messed my sister and I. I tell people all the time if you at that point you can't work it out, and you shouting at each other and thinking about laying hands on each other. leave, divorce how hard it is. Just no you should not be forcing every threw that hell.
Like my cousin did that pretended they were happy to eveyr one else, but hated each other. Never threw hands on each other. But when they did get divorce I just keep telling him "its like you see this is doing to your kids right?" And he would go "that bitch deserves it!" I mean wait what you daughter? And he goes "no my ex wife!" Its like dude you daughter is caught in this too you see that right? So is your son he is hanging off your every word going "daddy is my rolemodel!" Its how do you not see this?
But at same time I met others from high school I got in touch with who were victims like me and went "I love and hate her so much, but I don't my kids growing up like that, so I filled for divorce god help me I don't know if we should stick it out for the kids or the kids reason why we should be divorced. I love her but I get so angry at her." Its like yeah that seems like hard choice but you putting the thought in and realizing its not just you and her, its also that daughter you don't want to have her see her dad treat her mother like that and think its accaptle right? "Oh god I would kick any ones ass who snapped on my daughter way I did on my soon to be ex wife!" Its like well there is more food for thought. She is growing up seeing this in her early years, and longer you stay more it cements itself with untold number of examples of how this she will expect things to go one day when she is grown.
I grew up without violence in the home. With our first child, my wife went to slap my son on the legs. I stopped it just through instinct and our other children were never hit. If talking didn't help then it was time out in a corner. When teens it was not being able to use a computer for a period. Yet on the 1st affidavit in family court, my ex stated "It was not a peaceful marriage" Regardless, all my children are good people with kids and good at their jobs.
1000 times more respect for Patrick Stewart. He's one of my all time favorite actors and now I find he's an advocate for the same crap that happened to myself as a kid and young woman. I admire this guy a LOT.
I suffer with ptsd since suffering 21 years of DA/DV everyday there are flashbacks thanks for raising awareness patrick hopefully more women can get help and not suffer in silence
Bravo! Really awesome man to stand up against violence against women!
Thank you for sharing Patrick.....
Bless Patrick. Such a horrific childhood
Thanks Pat, for being brave enough to share this painful part of your life.
I love him!
Let me hug you...please let me hug you
Patrick Stewart is very cool person!!
He makes a good point at 11:12. There's no denying that there is domestic violence against men, but the stats make it pretty clear that it is higher and more severe against women. Very admirable speech.
Thank You Mr.Stewart. You put "words of knowledge" on the pain that everyone suffers when in a home that there is Domostic Violence.
STOP! ABUSE! NOW!
This moved me to tears and I hold Patrick in even greater regard after hearing him speak about wanting to protect his mother......I sincerely hope that there is divine justice for all perpetrators who abuse women. And abuse comes in many forms, not just physical......and the policemen who think that women provoke men have NO idea what we go through so think again and God help your conscience if any of us come to any harm. SILENCE NEEDS TO BE BROKEN AND WE NEED TO RAISE OUR VOICES
Patrick,
Thanks for "striking your match" and showing that the first and biggest step in dealing with this rampant travesty that is Domestic Violence is breaking the silence.
Thanks also for showing that Men are a necessary and important part of the solution, and that by working together as women and men can we get to the core of the problem and make a dent in this destructive behavior.
Bill Kipp - FAST Defense
Hugs for everyone here who has been or is currently a victim of domestic abuse, in whatever form.
The 13 dislikes were from Ferengi.
I'm really moved by Patrick Stewart's honesty concerning his own experience growing up in a violent household. To see a grown man talk about his loyalty and concern for his mother's safety--and the overall condition of battered women--is brilliant.
I applaud you, Mr. Stewart! Thank you for using your celebrity status to be a public exemplar to us all.
I went through it in my own family and it is a lot worse than people think or imagine. Good on Patrick for speaking up. Good man!
one of the last heroes on this planet. and a true man
i applaud patrick on what he said on domestic voilence and i want to thank my hero patrick stewart
I've admired his acting since the first time I saw him in a film, but now I can honestly say I admire him as a person. It took a lot of nerve to come out and tell this story, especially in public. And you can hear him trying not to break down, but he keeps going. They say abuse is a cycle, and he's broken it in spite of an instinct to continue. I'd salute you if I could, Mr. Stewart.
I was thinking the SAME thing, it's now up to 13 and I can only think they're either young adults who are bored, and thus mean. The fact that this man stumbles in his speech shows such humanity and the candle metaphor shines as bright as it ever has.
Thank you. Your voice is SO important for this cause.
Laura Kamienski
I read the title and think its good!
"Violence is a choice, and it is a choice that man makes. We can choose to stop it." I admire him so much more now. When I heard the bit about him faking anger it hit a chord.
I have admired this man for many years, and I admire him no less whe he shares such private experienceds as this. Patrick Steward, you are a hero!
He's amazing. Don't forget, we need to work against all domestic violence - it goes both ways.
What an amazing guy. This cause is one of massive importance and if i were the victim of such abuse, It would make me feel a lot better to know that Patrick Stewart supported not me personally but everyone in that situation. It makes me feel sad to know that even now people still endure domestic violence and i hope that more people feel the courage to stand up and do something about like Mr Stewart is doing.
I hope you know the answer to that question. I really do.
Thank you so much, Mr. Stewart, for sharing your experience, although I am so sad you had to endure it. I hope that people who are panning out abuse or enduring abuse, will see themselves in your situation & understand that they need help and more importantly, SEEK out that help.
I held one of my good friends as she died. She was stabbed multiple times by her abusive ex.
Now that I have recovered from the tragedy, I as a Man am fully supporting women to take on more leadership roles and to stand up against violence against women.
Anarchists against domestic violence!
@Jeorney I do agree that male victims should not be sidelined, absolutely, and it's despicable they get dismissed. But at the same time, we cannot ignore the fact that there is a huge trend towards abuse to women, by men. To erase this by speaking as though this isn't true is to ignore the actual culture we have; one that encourages abuse towards women more than any other type. The fact one is more common should be addressed, so we can understand why.
May I applaud your courage Mr. Stewart. Thank you so very, very much. x
Thanks for sharing. ❤
I was beaten by my father when I was a kid. I was also born in 1981. Like Mr. Stewart recalls of his mother, when the police visited one of them asked me what I had done to make my father so mad. I was 8 years old. A lot of time may have passed, but in some ways, not a lot has changed.
The line must be drawn here.
This far..... NO FURTHER ❤
Good to see that the actor who played Capt. Picard remains an advocate for justice and peace off-screen as well.
The first duty of any Starfleet officer is to the truth, whether it's scientific truth or historical truth or personal truth. Preach on, Mr. Stewart.
Abusers are usually stronger though.
And it's not nonsense.
I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but it needs to be said. Not ALL women are weaker. Don't forget, men are also abused. I'm all for stopping domestic abuse- but not JUST focusing on woman. I think @Jzadek72 could have put it slightly better... but men also get abused, so they aren't all stronger than women.
how about violence against men?
Wow, I didn't know about him and his dad. I love him on Family Guy and American Dad.
I had to pause the video when he describes how he became expert in assessing the 'temperture' in the house. I used to do exactly the same thing with my dad. I've never heard anyone else describe it.
I wish Sir Patrick Stewart could live forever. The world will be a lesser place when he's gone.
Sir Patrick is as much of a man of honour as Captain Picard.
Certainly. I agree that any number of women killed anywhere is a number far too high.
He is a truly a great person. Not only saving the universe as Captain Picard or helping Mutants as Professor X, but also in real life.
that's my Xavier! :D
Continued...
I will give you a perfect example. I significantly outweigh my wife. I am also all around more athletic. If I was determined to harm her, she would have no choice but to resort to a weapon or to calling the police to stop me. She is not in a position to become the abuser in any significant way. If I was to fight back with any sort of force I would almost certainly cause her serious harm.
This is why domestic violence against men is so much less common.
My son and I were forced into exile because of a corrupt system in Pennsylvania. You can view our story at 'MOTHER AND SON EXILED FROM THE USA, DOES ANYONE CARE?' This is something you do only if you are desperate to protect your children after everything else fails. The court forced me to send my son to an abuser for 5 yrs. because of the father's political connections. We need to stick together to get better laws passed to protect children and get judges held accountable for their actions.
@Ayries: I can't think of one ad thats like as you say. Which ad has women hurt by men? Unless its highlighting abuse from men. Women dying in films is normally seen as tragic. The site you mentioned proved one of my points - the masculinisation of women. in the Hays code article, in what position is that fem fatale holding her gun as she is stepping over her male victim? Believe me, that's intentional.
my capacity for respect couldn't surpass his work beginning with encounter at farpoint
There are so many women shelters because unfortunately, we need them. There are places for men to go as well. Domestic violence is not just between spouses or partners. Most commonly (with men) domestic violence will be between a man and a male relative than it will be between a man and a woman. There are places for men to go in both instances. You just have to look harder because frankly, these services are much less utilized.
@wlt777 I think James Corden might disagree ;)
I was surprised to hear that, in the UK, 2 women are killed as a result of domestic violence each week. In the US, it is an average of 3 women killed per day. I'm glad this issue is getting support from such a famous and well respected celebrity. Additional hats off to Patrick for sharing his experience!
>.>
Oh, Patrick.
@TrustowrthyRapist Such is life I guess
(cont) And I'm not even pleading for less violent males (although that WOULD be really nice indeed, I'll admit), but I'm wanting violence of women against men to be taken more seriously, not as a joke as our society makes of it.
@kamichisolm
1-3 The USDJ also quoted the CDC in saying “Each year, women experience about 4.8 million intimate partner related physical assaults and rapes. Men are victims of about 2.9 million intimate partner related physical assaults.” That is about 5 women victims to 3 male victims. Again a much smaller number and that number is a comparison of women assaulted and raped vs. just men assaulted. Add men who have been raped as well and the numbers would be much closer.
patrick stewart = legend.. wow this is pretty harsh i did not know, how hard it must be to speak about this stuff
There are resources. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline and they will direct you toward services available in your area... and if there aren't services in your area they can even help you get bus fare to somewhere that has what you need.
@sondano Agree.
In the UK, there is a woman killed every two weeks by a partner or former partner.
😢
@Lachdenan If you watch the video, he also mentions that domestic violence from women towards men happens. He's not blind to it, nor does he claim that MEN ONLY are abusive. But it is a matter of fact, not opinion, that the incidence rate of domestic violence toward women is higher than that towards men. It is a problem no matter the direction, but what is being fought is the idea that it is okay to beat a wife. There isn't a widely held view that beating a husband is acceptable.
Violence against one individual often begins as emotional abuse from the other person. Violence against women - or anyone - is wrong but its important to not look at cases in a lop-sided and biased manner. If people sense they can get away with emotional abuse, then that pain is often going to drive some people to a degree of violence. It becomes a trap otherwise. Also it will attract the wrong kind of people into the social services.
"Many are stronger, others aren't." is exactly the same as "Abusers are USUALLY stronger." I never said that there was never a case where a stronger person was abused.
You're right, it's not just about women, but the fact that he talks about it mainly for women doesn't make it nonsense. If you watch the whole video, he does actually talk about men being abused at one point.
So maybe you just need to calm down and if you're annoyed that they focus on women, start up your own cause.
@Destroythetyrant True. And He makes a point of that at 11:17
Continued...
Just to be clear, very few criminal matters go to trial, and there is no such thing as "ruling in favor of the woman." A woman presses charges, the state pursues those charges. Almost certainly a deal would be struck where a defendant can consent to an order of protection and probably probation in exchange for lesser charges. There would almost never be jail time on a first offense.
As for the law being slanted, read about Judy Norman. She died 5 years ago in prison.
Since I put a (righteous) knock on Stewart in another context let me exercise justice here: I give him props for making this statement.
@PanBoleyn but he's also broken the Prime Directive, several times in fact.
Apologies for the caps; youtube really needs to allow for HTML, I use it as a replacement for italics. And I don't mean to imply that.
So because you haven't seen it, it can't exist? You really believe that? There are a million ads like that. They don't make youtube, because they're /normal/. They're nothing noteworthy. And that's wrong.
And all I mean to say is, when most victims are women and sexism is institutionalised, making no note that women tend to be abused more ignores a big issue.
@kitcat1508 This is a huge generalized comment. I, for one, appreciate what you're trying to say, but refuse to believe a word of it. As a nurse, a mother, and a daughter of an abuser and the abused I feel that I have to say that just because you're a woman doesn't mean you're in a role where you heal and care. Just because you're male doesn't mean you abuse. I have a son and he is constantly told that: "a person is a person, no matter how small". We need to start looking at the individual.
Ok. I'll keep an eye out for ads like you say. But equally, you should keep an eye out for the opposite case. All the time I see articles, ads, films that just seem to co-opt social issues and create enmity between the sexes.
I never claimed that men were not also victims of domestic violence. It is important to note, however, that these incidents happen far less often, and tend not to become routinized. According to the department of justice: 85% of domestic violence victims in the U.S. are women. Approximately 1.3 million each year. 1 / 6 women are rape victims, 1 / 33 men are victims of sexual assault. 1/3 of homicides against women are committed by an intimate partner.
sizzle75 has a point - backed by a book called 'Self Made Man' by Norah Vincent who was a female journalist who went under cover as a man for a year - her conclusions back up what sizzle75 says - not to take away from the unacceptability of DV against anybody.
This is a common response to every single domestic violence video on youtube. At 11:24 in this video Mr. Stewart addresses that men are also victims.Calling domestic violence information misogynist doesn't address the purpose of these videos.These videos are trying to educate victims on what domestic violence looks like so that it can be recognised. It's possible to get out of these situations, and it's very important to leave. I didn't recognise the situation until I was hospitalised.
I can't really go into the ways things like advertising and media encourage women as subordinate/passive and often sexualise violence; it's very complex. But the numbers speak for themselves; 9 out of 10 victims? Women.
Bringing in gender doesn't have to be divisive as much as enhansive of our understanding of the context. The two issues are different by virtue of how they're committed and percieved. You can't just ignore that when the majority of cases are women, gender probably has a say.
@starsiegeplayer you missed the 'almost' in your quite, good job on quote mining though!
@dfoxx007 violence against women is an epidemic that for many years was not addressed. See 9:08 of the video re: neighbors doing nothing and the police blaming her for her husband's actions. I can't speak for English history but this was common for the United States prior to the 1970s. Not all men are monsters; not all women are incapable of standing up for themselves. But as a group, men are more physically powerful than women and women as a group have to be more worried about their safety.
@Destroythetyrant Yes, but when it is statistically clear that violence is more prevalent against a particular demographic, it makes complete sense to give them special attention. Do you understand?
Alcohol doesn't kill people; people kill people.
Alcohol can kill your liver, which can kill you.
@NotDuncan OK i missed the almost in reading the original. I do not know what quote mining means.
I agree in some cultures, women are abused. Even to the point of "so called" honour killings. However, I find most media and films "today" tends to portray women in dominant and often traditionally masculine roles. The good guys play passive, appreciating aggressive women. Imagine you faced psychological abuse from a women (or parent), how easy would you find it to make a noise about it. Men would find that hard, and even harder to get recognition. Maybe 9 out of 10 is not accurate.
@kamichisolm
2-1 DV is about people hurting people. The idea that women are the MAJORITY is an obtuse one. I will say that 188,650 spouses annually, seems to me, to be a lowball on the issue. I think abuse is much high than that. However, my point is that DV is not about sex (i.e. men abuse women) and check your sources. There are a lot of people looking for money or political support that give out false DV stats.
(If you want examples of such ads, I find contexts . org / socimages is a fascinating, albeit not unflawed, site. It also addresses male abuse in at least one post.)
@binhthanhvo and women.
I've not said anything about women not being victims of abuse. My concern is that gender is - devisely - brought into this when the focus should be on abuse as a whole. This gender approach can lead to other abuse. Such as, those that emotionally abuse a man, thinking they can get away with it, and then accuse him of abuse when he can no longer tolerate the situation. That is the danger. How does our western culture encourage men to abuse women?
I applaud Sir Patrick Stewart for his work with Amnesty International. And those of you who are trying to undermine his message with bollocks that you've made up, die in a fire. By the way, I am a man. I'm just socially conscious enough to care about other people, especially those who are victimized.
You are talking about apples and oranges. VAWA is 20 year old federal law. The Supreme Court Case U.S. v. Morrison essentially took all of VAWA's gender bite. The effects of VAWA have been gender neutral legislation on the State level, and funding for prorams available to victims of domestic violence regardless of gender.
If you really believe in equality, then answer this quality as honest as you can:
How would you feel if the Violence Against Women's Act was suddenly repealed today?
@Shoteen95 It seems some who suffer become gold while others who suffer become become bitter and hostile. I wonder just what is the dividing factor. I would think it to faith.
The man will probably get arrested if he tried to report an incident like that because the police will probably assume the man did something first to the woman.
If there is a court trial, the judge will probably rule in favor of the woman because people think she is capable of less damage.
Also domestic violence isn't always injury. Sometimes the woman can emotionally abuse men making fun of their manliness, or financially depriving them. Then again, a woman is more likely to use weapons.
@kamichisolm
"1 in 4 women will be beaten by their male partners"? You should check the source of that statistic. It came from a 13 year old “self-administered questionnaire” of 486 women “seeking outpatient abortion”. This questionnaire was used to determine why women where getting abortions. The findings where 1 in 4 women seeking abortion said their reasons where due to abuse (not DV). That isn’t even close to what you said. Try again.
However, I assume you've heard many occasions of domestic violence against men. And let me tell you something: it's no joke. It does happen, about 33% of the time, which is less than abused women, but it's still alot. The reason why it's not as reported is that people see it as a joke. If a man wishes to defend himself or report to the police for getting abused, he'll get arrested in both instances.
A legal system should concern what damage has been done, not what could have been done.
What's missing is emotional or psychological abuse. It far more common than violence. You can often spot the abuser, as they clam up, go into denial or spout rediculous things when you home into the truth. Don't bother trying to get them to admit the truth because the abuser is to weak to face it. The more you do it, the quicker they will get into that mode. They will lie about you to others to gain support. Other than that, Good speech but what about the guys. They too can suffer abuse.