So... like I think the desire to change gender is quiet reasonable. So I feel like if something is "reality based" the reality should be "it just can't be done and all the treatments sucks and you can probably get most of the stuff you want anyway".
Agree but understand please, whole countries like Canada will remove a therapist’s license to practice for not upholding political ideology. They’ll count it harm against the client. Many therapists have no choice. They need our protection, too. We need to remove politics from healthcare.
I’ve always thought that. They’ll talk a lot about “the new me”, “finally able to live my life” etc. it’s obviously a fantasy about escaping yourself and being able to start over.
It's a "fantasy" that tends to persist. We know something about its biological origins. We know how to alleviate the dysphoria. We know we know we know so much about all of these things already.
This actually sums up perfectly the exerience that I had with one of my children. They came to me saying that they no longer identified with their sex and demanded I call them they/them pronouns. (I am doing so here only to create a certain annonymity, but in my daily speech I use correctly gendered language.) I assured the child that as their mother it is my responsibility to raise them with a good relationship to reality and would be using correct pronouns. They got more upset, claiming it hurt them when they heard their correct gender being referred to. I assured them they would be ok. After that I helped guide them to understand that the traumas (quite severe) they had experienced might be impacting their relationship with their body and their "gender identity." They took time and considered what I'd gently shared. Then they concluded I had a point. I let them continue their journey without need of much more influence. And now, 3 years later, they literally tell me how "shame" it is that they went through that phase and beg me not to tell people (hence the gender neutral pronouns for annonymities sake). My child now loves their gender fully embracing what that means for them, even in so-called "stereotypical" ways. I'm glad I held onto reality and stayed the course. I'd encourage other parents to do the same.
It's great that you acknowledge your childs traumas. The world alone is traumatic. And you usually also traumatize your child by trying to protect it from the worse stuff. Gotta keep an open heart and be a safe place to get the feelings heared and validated. Especially with a boy cause for a boy the mother is the only person with certainty in life who will ever care about how her son feels. Only when someone is able to process their emotions and have them validated they don't fall victom to maladaptive coping mechanisms. Idk if it was ok to not use they pronouns when the child requested it. Look into whether your child found a diffrent coping mechanism. Interveining in coping mechanisms can cause trust issues between mother and child. Maybe you just got your child a healthier coping mechanism. Doesn't matter if it was intentional or planned as long as it works. Hobby's / Relationships are good ways to cope with life. I don't want to make you paranoid but children are masters at hiding things from their parents. Stuff can just suddenly blow up in your face. Substance abuse, OCD, depression, porn addiction, anxiety. If your child is intelligent it can hide those things beyond the point of your capability to repair the damage already done. Did you ever have to yell at your child? But yeah you are right on with minimal intervention. Paternalism is bullshit. They don't suddenly grow up at 18. They are growing up from all the way before they were born. The world just recently decided they may wanna give children below 18 some basic spawn protection. Parents tasks is to give a child a stable enviroment and give childrens something to do IF they are bored or are doing something dumb. But yeah if your child trusted you despite disrespect their wishes for pronouns it means that it generally trust you that the hurt it feels from being called pronouns it doesn't wanna be called in that moment doesn't come from malice. Children whose trust has been previously abused may think you are just evil and want to punish them out of sadism. But you see why this can backfire now? If your child hasn't trusted you it would possibly be a desaster now. The worst thing this trust can not only be abused by you but by anyone. You know your child so i guess you know how much trust you can expect from it.
But yeah as one can easily see. As humans we want to be seen and as humans we want to feel validation in how we feel. If we can't get that we search for distractions or numbness. Or in the case for transgerism we try to fix the issue. A boy may realize that in this world it is difficult to be seen and come to view women as being given significantly more attention and yearn for being seen in such quantity. Being told value in just existing. A girl might realize the attention she get's is all in a objectifying manner. She may see that the attention is on what she is not who she is and she may yearn for invisivbility from attention she deems unauthentic to seek value in what she creates. The problem is in both cases they won't find their aspiration. The grass is always greener on the other side. Though in a world with more women some rather have fake attention than none at all. This would explain higher ftm detransition. A man's job is finding attention that if found is likely authentic and a women's job is rejecting unauthentic attention. This goes for all relationships btw. Friendly or romantic. Since for a man 55% of the world population is their competition. (People born, not alive, since men die younger) Women can atleast expect authentic attention from females. 45% of humans Men can expect authentic attention from 55% of humans but only in quantity once they got attention from one of the 45% of humans and are no longer in competition with the other 55% of their sex. Romantic relationships by design are often f'ed since a women is desired for what she is and a man for what he has. No one for who they are. It's a problem of a sick society. Or more correctly nature. Sexual reproduction and natural selection they called Evolution. Survival of the fittest. Or more often than not just survival.
But yeah the last part is tribal. One may hope we departed from animalism atleast a bit in the last 12t years if you wanna believe in scientific history of when civilisation and thus interlectual evolution started.
Wow! Great presentation. I've taught children athletics for 10 years and have come to a similar conclusion as Mr. Jaco van Zyl. I'm not a psychologist, but I can teach and understand children well. 4 or 5 years ago I began to suspect that gender dysphoria is really a sexual body dysmorphia. I was a teenager in the early 2000s when eating disorders and self harm were rising. I believe body dysmorphia is unnaturally induced in children by adults through early sexualization, and I don't mean assault, but that may be a factor. It comes by forced "maturation", lacking of a more precise word, because they are taught too early to think sexually and they can't handle it. It also happens by indoctrination of a body-mind duality. Thus the mind tries to reject the body even though the body and mind are inseparable. Adults have destroyed children's minds with terrible ideas that reject reality like you can be a girl mind in a boy body. Anyone can be more masucline/feminine, the mind and body are still one. It is easy for an adult to convince children of anything they want because children do not have the brain development to reason and create their own understanding. Children accept what they are told. You can lie to children, give them conflicting ideas, and they will believe what they are told. It plays on their needs and trust for adults. I'm thankful that professionals are able to tell the truth and bring us back to reality. We need to protect children from awful ideas and harmful practices.
Like what Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt did to Shiloh. She wanted to be called John and have her hair cut short. Once Angelina left Brad Pitt Shiloh started growing her hair again and preferred to be called Shiloh.
Basically, there is a social responsibility to tell individuals “NO!” rather than acquiescing to unreasonable demands, thus allowing (or enforcing) a shift in perspective that modifies behaviour. This is neither cruelty nor kindness; it’s the practical application of reality. Which suggests that those actively promoting any unreality are either Sadists, exploitative, or enablers.
They sound unreasonable to you because you live in the gender binary, which is basically just assumptions we're taught to make. It has no scientific basis. Gender and sex are both bimodal, not bimorphous. Yadda yadda yadda, please start looking up what anyone actually trans is saying (as a good starting point, not because you don't have plenty to choose from amongst cis researchers and therapists etc.).
These are also the parents who grew up on participation trophies. It's not surprising to see them take the next step in 'protecting ' their kids from the harsh realities of everyday life. We need to bring that pendulum back to the middle.
The Coddling of The American Mind by Lukianoff and Haidt discussed the national implications of a 'coddled generation'. The absence of boundaries has grown steadily over the past fifty years and I have seen this evolution as I approach age seventy. Claims we have 'gone soft' are true in many respects. This has been a natural and positive evolution in some ways but this has been deliberately weaponised by bad actors who have ulterior motives to bring down society. We are 'enjoying' the fruits of this transformation.
Humans aren’t evolved to have boundaries, which is why they’re so hard to accept. Hunter-gatherer parents, for example, do little in the way of setting boundaries for their small children. They allow them to learn through experience, not through dominance over them. The primary reason I think that children seemed to be able to accept boundaries more readily in the past is that they were dominated into submission, mostly by tyrannical fathers, from birth. They were so scared that they grew defensive walls(boundaries) around themselves so that it seemed not much participation of parents to enforce boundaries was needed beyond a certain, quite young, age. Unfortunately, in a civilized world, I guess this is necessary, but it will never be ultimately beneficial to human beings to live this way. The only way that people raised in such a world can develop even an illusion of confidence is if they become comfortable dominating others. Most don’t, because humans do not have a natural instinct to dominate others, but for the very small group of people who have developed that tendency, there’s a whole lot of economic benefit involved.
That's true in some respects but it just so happens transgenderism isn't one of them, as a whole. You need extremely selective perusals of the literature for that conclusion. A selective ignorance.
The mother attunes and gives reality back to infant and gradually the infant calms down ... this is the exact mechanism for how therapy works (when it works)
Most common-sense people diagnosed the issue at the start of the craze many years ago, albeit without any of the fancy language. Happy to see scientists discover the conclusions which were apparent to many.
This video has opened my mind to actual problems going on. I knew something was up and noticed a pattern of certain people this happened to a their projections. Definitely deep-seated issues with this disorder.
It's not "knowledge". He's just asserted that gender norms / practicalities are "structure" and therefore immutable. You can do it with anything "military service is * structure* " "physical violence is structure" All I think is true is I. Sex transition completely sucks Ii. You can probably deal get around the seemingly impossible structures of gender
This was the best discussion I’ve ever watched about what is happening in society today. If more people on both sides of the issue would use this to expand their perspective.
It isn't he's being terribly un-sensitive. On the good side he at least dosn't talk in terms of "your healthy body", "your important breast" or other very incredebly helpfull things to say to traumatized ppl
@@catsaresocute650 So rather not risk offending people such as yourself but be willing to mutilate children's and adolescent's bodies irreparably instead of treating the underlying factors... Please explain the rationale/logic to this approach.
Beautifully explained. This talk, shared with parents or even couples planning to become parents, can make a huge difference in how their parenting style affects their child. It should be shared and shared and shared.
It is certainly true of some cases. I can't say that I believe it is true of all, but for the rapid onset cases, I firmly believe that is more likely than not a maladaptive coping mechanism
I have been very bothered as to how this knowlege somehow slipped away, dismissed probably due to modalities such as CBT being touted by the likes of Lord Laird. I have always been impressed by how Psycoanalysis grasps human development.
Psychoanalysis is a religion. Freud thought he was being scientific but he really just interpreted everything to suit his preconceptions. The fact that Wolf Man, years later, said he hadn't improved at all is testimony to this.
Overcoddling is Anxious Preoccupied Attachment which leads to Borderline. You can also get anxious preoccupied when a parent is sometimes available as you see w/Screen use by parent. You see it when the mother refuses to be a Secure Base. When there is no Secure Base, the kid won’t explore the environment because attachment is constantly activated. Anyway - this leads strait to borderline. Harry Harlow looked at Macaques and showed clearly that LOVE both mother & peer ALWAYS conquers Aggression in healthy development. A lot of these kids did not get healthy love aka they never had a secure attachment w/their mother.
I gave my daughter lots of love. ASD made it hard not to over coddle but extra love got us through this horrendous period of about two years and now I have my daughter back. Boundaries were held strongly and then firmly reshown with love and clarity. I held reality in front of her and said it’s not your fault we are here for you. The chains of the ideology then started to fall away. I am eternally grateful. Thanks to all those who started to speak out, we need to hear it too! 💝
It was the hippies. Then it was the punks. Then it was the goths. Then it was the emo. Every young person lashes out at norms and wants to be special because you’re about to enter adulthood and realize you’re not that special, so you want some type of signifier. Most grow out of it.
Phases are what they are and most people outgrow them but how do you outgrow mutilating your genitals with surgery and your body through the use of puberty blockers. There is also another major contributing factor to the problem. Aggressive machine learning algorithms that did not exist before which amplify the problem in ways that a lot of people fail to comprehend.
@ I’m merely talking about the desire, not the actual consequences. Washing off makeup or giving Jnco jeans to Goodwill is a lot easier than detransitioning, the effects of which may be irreversible. I have heard testimonies of those who have.
@@littlekingtrashmouth9219 weird, my comment pointing out that trans people have existed across the world for centuries, was deleted. If being trans is a recent trend, why did Europeans oppress trans people in India and North America after colonising them?
This is a very smart analysis- it is very academic and would benefit from translation into more accessible language. The over coddling of children is a problem that has very wide implications beyond gender issues.
Thank you for putting into words the thoughts I have had about child transitions for at least a decade. Surely, the trans activists will attack your premise and try to cancel your professional career.
This is wonderfully clesr & calming. It's sanity & it is a healthy place for people to start when they feel ill at ease. Thank you. This will help vulnerable people ❤
😮😮When I (70) was a child, the idea that we might be in the wrong bodies was never introduced to us. I still wished I was like my brothers but thank goodness no one messed with my head. The school could not even discuss periods with girls without WRITTEN parental permission. I am a happily married woman and it has been a great and fertile life.
Back then boys had more leeway on all matters, but they couldn’t have kids. I too am in my 70’s and love my kids. Harming my body in other ways was not good either, like not valuing my body, and living a high risk lifestyle. I would likely have been a cutter but instead scratched the heck out of my face, at times. Your message is valuable to those who think trying to change your sex will make it all better. God Bless you.
What you are describing is just a form of cultural normativity and gender expression envy. Nobody "messes with your head", Gender dysphoria is much more complex than that, it is an innate internal struggle of incongruence with your body and how is it developing, it is ever present and never goes away, it only can be diminished to a reasonable level when the body is assisted to be more aligned with the person expectations of their internal sense of gender.
One of the biggest issues with this modern approach to gender issues is that wondering what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex is a normal part of child development! To tell anyone who has thought about what it might be like that they are trans is insane.
Spot on, friend. Everyone knew this was a bad idea from the very beginning. But the surgeries, pills, hormones, and LITERAL LIFE-LONG doctor visits are BIG MONEY. These poor people will be stuck in the medical system for the rest of their lives. So what are you gonna do? Save a child's life or cash in??? That's how we got here 😢
Ha..you think. I've seen 100+ boyce of reason episodes. I have cried over the this more than once. And I'm a man with not kids. Mal adaptive....is putting it lightly
I feel like this psychologist has simplified the passage of time in so far as the average human can understand it. I’m sure the work he’s sweated out with clients is not and has not been this simple. Thank you sir, and keep up the ‘good enough’ work. Reality is hard to take, but it’s better than the alternative, trying to change myself, ourselves by surgery. Keep up the ‘good enough work’ you’ve set before yourself. May God Bless you in all you do.
This is not my field, so it contained a lot of new information and concepts I am not familiar with. But the basic argument seemed to make a lot of sense. Thanks to whomever posted this.
I disagree with the concept of over-coddling or too good parenting. Parents who remove any source of frustration from their child to avoid having to help the child deal with it, they're simply neglecting their child. Children need to be taught to deal with emotions and if they're deprived of that, no Version of whatever the parents are doing instead makes that any better. This is a small but very important difference. It's never because parents care too much but always because they do either not enough or the wrong things. I have yet to see a case of too good parenting going wrong. Bad parents however often teach their kids to pretend that their parents are much better than they actually are. Tell a kid that if people think something is wrong, it gets out into a children's home alone, that kid will do everything to glorify its parents mediocre parenting and when the reality starts crashing in, they tell everyone that they don't understand how their perfectly caring parents could be related to them being traumatized. I used to believe that I was broken even though my childhood was far above average and only in my late 30s, I really understood that my problems are because of that same childhood which was actually so bad that I now have did. Telling people they are too soft will only bring back violence as an accepted form of education and that won't fix any issues coming from how the world developed over the last century...
This hit's home. Thx for writing this. And yes. The problems isn't feeling emotions. It's lacking healthy ways to dealth with them. Ways to get the emotions seen and validated so you are not made to feel crazy. Because when you are told you are crazy that's when you become crazy. A good life is feeling all the emotions while being able to cope with them in healthy ways and not feel unjustified in feeling them.
The problem is neccience. Imagine reality as a growing hammer. Imagine the childs hand below that hammer. A good parents will acknowledge they won't be able to hold that hammer up forever and throw in the towel and deal with the damage. A bad parent may continue to hold up that hammer until they can't hold it anymore by which time it grew so much it crushes the childs hand which will enslave the child to plenty of coping. It is tragic. Since it is actually too good parenting. The parent cared and suffered not wanting to hurt their child. Wantjng to keep the pain of the world away. But they forgot that reality will hurt their child. Reality is stronger than they are. A good parent gives their child chickenpox. If they don't it might kill the Adult. It's about alining with natural law. We all hate natural law. Reality is cruel. We do not experience infinity yet. As long as this is reality we need to let the hammer fall on the hand as quickly as possible when it is the smalest. Otherwise you might cross the point of no return where the hammer grows so much it grow over the entire body of the child crushing it when it finally falls. The debt and intrests intrests torturing your child more in the life it never got to life more than if you had dropped the hammer right away. This law tortures you for oposing it. And it does so more with each second you do.
It seems to be a form of narcissistic personality disorder. Obsessed with self, lacking empathy for others, hyperfocused on their feelings while unable or unwilling to understand those of others. Sadly, that's been my personal experience with my own trans child.
Idk, the trans people I’ve met have been some of the most caring, compassionate, and empathetic. I treat them they way they want to be treated, though, rather than insisting they’re wrong about who they are, so I’m sure that probably plays a role in how they respond to me vs others.
@@stephenstephen1505 perhaps you would help us understand what queer ideology is about? It seems to me to be mostly about a rejection of heteronormativity and mammalian biological reality.
Ive been transitioning MTF for over a year now and I think about that constantly because I had a lot of trauma growing up directly tied to my sex, gender and sexuality. Thankfully I am in contact with a psychiatrist with experience in this field who can help me unpack it. As I haven’t been successful in detransitioning on my own .
That demon in your profile pic has more influence than you realise. I really hope you find your way back to being happy just the way God made you because he doesn’t make mistakes!❤
@ that’s not a demon it’s Shiva the Hindu god and Shakti, the goddess fused into one being called Ardanrishvara which is several centuries older than the Christian concept of God (assuming that’s the god you’re talking about) . But thanks for the goodwill anyways ❤️🙏🏻
@ it’s related to the fallen angels (nephillim) from long before Jesus’ time (book of Enoch & Ethiopian bible) and it’s dual image is related to the nature of the internal struggles you’re facing. Nothing is inconsequential in this world. Thank you for taking my comment in the spirit of love from which it’s intended we can all disagree but the love is there regardless.
@@JojoRose695dude you’re not helping anyone. Just stop. You Christian’s don’t understand a damn thing about what dysphoric trans people go through… you just want them to look like what you’re comfortable with 😂😂 like literally stop.
Cases such as yours ideally should always be detected in the clinical assessment period before any serious measures have been taken to transition, but obviously medicine is tough to make 100% bulletproof. Best of luck
Our Media and Entertainment Industry Chooses not to show us... Strong women who are married and who are mothers. Or smart sensative men who are married with children. Your prostate does care about your feelings or the culture gender roles you are falling into.
I think we need to start normalising and acknowledging the horrors of adolescence. It's a terrible, disempowered, depressed stage of life. Let's stop belittling, and talk about the transition from childhood to adulthood, then most young people won't feel so alienated
I’m on the spectrum and can spot a fellow tistic from a mile off. Apart from a few older males who I think have a sexual deviance, nearly all the ones I’ve seen are most definitely on the spectrum and appear to be tortured souls. When I was a teen full of angst I wanted to be a punk with shaved spiky hair and tattoo one half of my body. Thank God I was talked out of it! Couldn’t be more different now.
That's not factually correct. There's a higher correlation between autism and transgenderism but it's not "most transitioners". The bot just gave me 6% to 25% as the estimates that have been given. Higher than general population but not "most". And you'd probably have a bit of a meltdown if you were constantly being misgendered :P
Okay I didn't watch the video because I don't have enough time, but in my opinion this drive to transition especially in teenagers stems in basically being a teenager. You grow and develop faster than your child mind can comprehend and your emotions are all over the place and you feel awkward in your own body as if wearing clothes that doesn't fit. And when someone comes along and tells you, you're in the wrong body, I can fix that and it will be great, it's easy to believe it. Especially when they leave out the fact it means life long servitude to pharma and high chance of nasty health complications.
What I would love to hear is how to tell the difference. I’m a stepmom with a trans step daughter. I typically stay out of it but when it first started happening I spoke up, I showed skepticism. She is a child, how does she know she is making the best decision. I was called a bunch of names. So since then my lips are sealed.
True gender dysphoria is EXTREMELY RARE. Probably closer to 1% than the 25% rate we are seeing right now. Some people are for real, most are not. That being said, I think you're right, just say nothing. The most common outcome in that situation is that you will be made the bad guy for just trying to discuss a topic. That person will figure it out on their own eventually.
When i was a kid i wanted to be a velocoraptor. You know how my family corrected that? They made fun of me and laughed thier asses off at me until I stopped.
I love the concept of symbolization as the packaging of reality in digestible chunks -- a reality that otherwise would be overwhelming. This has a great deal of relevance for trauma therapy and I wonder where these ideas have been articulated more fully?
Overall a video which points i didn't expect to be this good. But it forgets the 0 sum parts. You cannot create healing for someone out of thin air. I explained in other comments. Healing costs.
This doesn’t explain the whole generation of people who transitioned as adults. Most of my trans friends transitioned well into middle age. I have a hard time thinking of them not in their preferred gender. On the other hand, it is possible that some children identify as trans even though they are not in the confusion of adolescencew
The key for identifying gender dysphoria in minors is "consistent, persistence and insistence" while evaluating very carefully the level of distress of the child, nothing needs to be permanent at this point, but is is crucial to be timely pointed in the right direction to avoid further pain and suffering. Trust me, waiting into middle age to realize this almost cost my life, the possible phycological scars are insane. These Gen people are playing with a serious condition that only a few but very valuable members of the population can only begin to understand.
You're very brave to point that out in this comment thread. Indeed there are plenty of well adjusted trans people who have not experienced the trauma and symptoms this speaker presents.
@@Marcusmarcb0tI Can you give any examples of well-adjusted trans ppl? Statistically we know that in long term studies they overwhelmingly do poorly by any metric. That there are a handful that are ok isn't really much of a claim. There are victims of all kinds of medical scandals who go on to live normal lives. Doesn't mean they were given the right treatment
Telling your kid NO is actually 10 BILLION TIMES KINDER than letting them chop off their sex organs. Glad this professional is out here talking about it (finally), but where were these professionals 10 or 15 years ago? So many lives have been ruined because no one was brave enough to disagree with the progressive mob, wise enough to see the obvious physical danger such procedures put you in FOR LIFE, or strong enough to tell their kid NO 😢
Where? Nowhere! A white, straight man, good knowledgeable professional has no chance of getting an academic position nowadays. Universities will hire “minority” regardless their academic and scientific achievements. Witnessed this firsthand.
For those who are living happier, more productive lives after transitioning, it doesn't matter what you think is wrong with them. Transitioning is only appropriate for adults though. What may be maladaptive for some, may not be so for others.
It's always maladaptive, yes you can live a productive life using a maladaptive coping mechanism. That coping mechanism might be keeping you going, but transitioning is almost always unhealthy for your body, it almost always makes unreasonable demands on other people. Even fairly reasonable trans people will probably use the wrong sex bathroom, not take too kindly to someone always referring to them using correct sex pronouns. Even if the trans person is okay with not doing physical transition, these demands are still made on other people. The demands made on others is another way it's maladaptive. Being happier than before and more productive doesn't mean your way of coping isn't maladaptive.x
The point though, is that we have not yet attempted true helpful psychotherapy targeted at alleviating gender dysphoria. All we have done is conversion therapy which is basically just torture, or medical transition. But we have not yet even considered trying exploratory talk therapy for GD. It hasn't yet been done on a large scale. Dr Az Hakeem has started doing it but there have been no scientific studies on his results, though he reports extremely high success rates of none of his patients going on to transition after doing exploratory talk therapy with him.
Maladaptive is maladaptive. Look into Blair White. Blair has transitioned and openly admits that they have a mental illness and that it is maladaptive, but also says it saved their life and it worked for them. Blair recieves a mass of respect due to the honesty they always express. They never deny the truth about this issue. I myself have a mental illness - its a ersonality disorder, a maladaptive response. It saved me in childhood but ruined my life. Now I embrace the parts I cannot change yet (if ever) and work with what I've got. But I am honest and say that it is maladaptive because that's the truth - even if I now use the maladaptation to my advantage.
@@FronteirWolfthe problem is a lack of alternative coping. If your choice is to cope or die you cope. Simple. It's not a choice. Someones inconvience or even suffering doesn't give right to someones death. Whether to transition or not is a simple question of whether it will aid in saving your life or whether it will not. It is a decision that is a dilemma.
@@elsh332i read in another comment you got a child. So asume you have a husband. Maybe try gojng with him somewhere where no man's law aplys and bringing the ultimate trust. A place where you can kill and die without man's consequence. Since atleast one of you survives to possibly care for your child. Since you both met as strangers and if you both survive you might gain new found trust for the unknown. Imagine. (Maybe for the more extreme cases though. It seems your coping works well enough to walk you into your grave without being the one who dug it)
interesting talk & concept but i'd've loved to have seen evidence that it's a maladaptive coping mechanism to the challenges/frustrations of adolescence. you could argue that transitioning doesn't make sense as an avoidant coping strategy because transitioning sex (in theory) doesn't remove/avoid adolescence, it just changes which sexes' adolescence is experienced. also, wouldn't it be strange if the care-starved child transitions as an act of aggression to 'attack' or 'excise' something from themselves whereas the coddled child transitions to avoid or self-sooth (i.e., that the same approach is used to achieve opposite & extreme emotional drives)?
I don’t dispute many of the claims this speaker is making, but I think it is a dramatic oversimplification. A person’s individual psychology, desires and identity cannot be comprehensively summarized by criticizing parenting styles. It’s much more complex than that. For example my brother and I grew up in nearly identical circumstances, we are dramatically different people. It’s easy to follow a logical proposition, it’s easy to connect a presumed cause to a likely result. And it’s easy to stitch a bunch of these claims together into a kind of cohesive paradigm for explaining what gives rise to someone’s impulses. Then everyone in the comment section says “yes, how insightful.” I agree that the factors the speaker mentioned exist and bad parenting certainly leads to maladaptive behaviors. But it comes off as very presumptuous to me to dismiss the immutable reality of sexuality and personal preference as if some perfectly executed conventional parenting is the recipe for perfectly formed conventional offspring, and any divergence from that is a failure of the parents. My parents made plenty of significant mistakes but were attentive, had remarkable integrity and produced two happy well-adjusted children. My brother and I live in society as productive people with friends, families and careers. But I am gay, born that way, absolutely unambiguously, and he is as straight as a board. The way that impacted my experience of youth was dramatic and immensely challenging. My parents didn’t understand, I didn’t understand, society is completely inconsistent about what is moral, proper, responsible, “normal”, etc. It came down to me to decide that I don’t care what people think, I am happy and contribute meaningfully to the world living truthfully as myself. As a man, as a son, brother, friend, software engineer, lover, provider, contributor, etc. I found meaning. I love my family, but my life now wasn’t because of perfect parenting or failed parenting, it wasn’t because I accepted the “reality” of any gender role or nuclear family model. It is because I honor what I feel, what I want and I love the people around me. I love traditional family structure and agree that surgical transition seems like a radical decision. But I cannot comment on the experience of gender dysphoria because I never experienced gender dysphoria. My brother never experienced homosexuality. It wasn’t because of our parents. There are certain experiences that have a deeper point of origin than our parents’ level of attentiveness. It is dismissive to disregard that or to reduce all people who diverge from gender stereotypes as being “maladaptive.” The surgery may indeed be maladaptive, but if the motivation is anything like what motivates homosexuality, it is deep, intimate, real, immutable, and needs to be factored into the conversation as valid, not evidence of parental failure.
In regards to what you said in the second paragraph, this speaker wasn't focusing on sexuality with his analysis and conclusions. This topic is all about gender and identity. And if you read the description of the video, it tells us that the speaker is a clinical psychologist and he tells us that he has come to these conclusions based on his work with children and his understanding of psychological principles. He also stated that this isn't the full picture but is perhaps a piece to the puzzle. He's not providing a presumption. His conclusions provide a starting point for those that don't know where to begin on trying to understand this topic or they provide an additional contributing aspect for those that have already been studying the topic.
As someone else said your sxuality doesn't really figure here in the conversation. Btw there's no evidence that ppl are born with a sxuality. Ppl just tell themselves (regardless of sxuality) cos it makes them feel better. There's a ton of evidence that all kinds of other factors play a role.
@@andywickoren the speaker did not address sexual preference as much as body dysphoria and denial of biological reality. There is a big difference between acceptance of being attracted to same sex partners and being convinced you were born into the wrong physical body
Have any studies been done on unvaccinated children? With the rise in autism and the known links with dysphoria, but with almost zero autism in non vaccinated children, I would like to hear of a study if there is one.
They won’t allow those studies! I have twins who both changed the same day they had the MMR. Stopped acknowledging our voices or looking for us would just stare into space. Both still non verbal and stimming all day at 4! Biggest regret of my life letting them have that thing.
I think so. All media tells them they are doomed. Even my oldest son, who's 27 now, told me once that he missed childhood because he didn't have to worry about anything. Every day was carefree and full of new adventures. We definitely weren't snow plow or helicopter parents. He took his bumps and bruises and learned how to stand up for himself and think for himself, but he didn't have doom and gloom piped into his brain 24/7 like today's kids. I am glad he can have a nostalgic view of his childhood, but he's also excited about the future, marrying his girlfriend, and starting a family. And honestly... I am very excited for him.
I don't think I'm allowed to say it but my opinion is that patients from -TQIA2+ onwards have been terribly failed by their therapists. Like batteries human beings have two poles, which can be installed in series or parallel ţo suit different needs. Every battery is perfect exactly the way it was made, no alterations necessary, because what's more important to focus on is the connections made between their insides. 🤔
Hi Jaco, fellow South African here. Meerkats are cute! One major question. Suppose that biological sex is the ONLY reality-defining principle in psychological development. Your thesis that transitioning is a negation of reality would then follow. What I do not believe you substantiate is that this denying of reality is necessarily maladaptive. Could it not sometimes be protective, and perhaps even worthy of protection? The notion that objective reality is always desirable is a very big thesis to defend in such a short video, of course! I confess I do not find it convincing, but maybe your years of clinical work have shown you otherwise. A follow up in which you defend the claim would therefore be welcome. Yours in integrity and honesty. ❤
This guy get's it. But i expected him to have the humility to admit he isn't diffrent. Everyone poops and everyone copes. They say nothings new is under the sun. The solution has to be said. We have to agree on "We" and on what we want. And accept reality, to carry the flag and pass it on, to one day slay limitation. One day the matter what makes my body will forget that pain exist for pain will have never existed. This isn't for nothing. Interpret belief as any religion. But if you do not believe in this you say you believe in suicide or worse. Which then i will ask you" is bliss diffrent from void?" And you will see we view the same things just from diffrent eyes. You believe and we work together. The alternative is to be insane.
I was curious about this talk, but sadly it was just that - talk. It has not on any meaningful level been proven what causes gender dysphoria and this added nothing of substance.
Gender dysphoria comes from being gender nonconforming and not being able to deal with that. Usually such people have a very simplistic idea about what makes an adult male a man and an adult female a woman. Over-reliance on sex based stereotypes. Social influence, especially online. Why are some people susceptible to it and others not? Autism spectrum, primarily.
Do you have any ideas of what causes it? To me it seems largely iatrogenic and better explained by other common comorbidities, autism, sxuality and just plain growing pains
@ (no one knows yet). I think there’s likely a variety of reasons behind gender dysphoria and that we’re not even close to a full understanding of the phenomenon. And making up causalities and politicizing them will only delay the process and deepen the trauma of everyone experiencing this painful dis-ease.
@@alexlaroux777 Are you saying I´m making up causalities and politicizing them? Or the speaker is? Neither seem plausible. We know we can rule out the claims of the activists of simply being born with it (as the sole cause) because we know that other factors change the rate. We know that child abuse is common amongst this group. According to surveys from the activist side most trans identifying people start identifying in adolescence or later. It makes the most sense to me to fit this discomfort in with anorexia, body dysmorphia, disassociation. The symptom pool theory fits well too. With the exception of the adult male group that seem to have a direct link to corn use (not that this doesn't play a role in the adolescents) and arguably don't suffer dysphoria and simply have a paraphilia. Then it's very clear that at the socio-cultural level, given that "trans" is clearly a socio-cultural identity, it appeals to autistic people and non-heterosexuals as well as just misfits. Often the true cause of dis-ease is clearly not fitting in, being different, not forming close romantic bonds etc. You could make an argument that autism is a sign of something happening from birth but at a social level it seems clear that a lot of the black and white thinking of the ideological movement simply appeals to this group. Then if you look at the actual diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria it directly involves pathologising normal behaviours and particularly behaviours that are more prevalent amongst children who grow up non-heterosexual such as playing with certain toys or having certain friends. This combined with the explosion of numbers of diagnoses points to an iatrogenic root. The trauma you mention is prevalent prior to the diagnosis and goes entirely untreated because the focus is on affirmation. We've seen patterns of young people being victims of attacks, losing a loved one or some other tangible real world event immediately preceding the diagnosis. Unfortunately the activists are not the least bit interested in finding a cause and even prevent certain studies from being undertaken that might be able to separate out different groups in the pursuit of the mythical "true trans". They just want to push the affirmative process through quicker. Despite it having clearly worse results than therapy or frankly just letting time pass. When you say "delay the process" which process are you referring to? The medical interventions like puberty blockers that have zero mental health benefits even according to those who oppose the findings of Cass Review and have negative effects according to many studies (including those that have been suppressed)? The hormones? The surgeries? Don't you think we should investigate a cause before we go down extreme routes that haven't been clinically proven and that have largely been shown to have negative results since 1976?
…but he, you, others need to go through the pain of therapy to get to the other side, to find solace in those who understand. Good enough therapy can help to take us through the reason for our pain, and make it possible to keep our body intact, if we try. We can find ways to communicate with the fantasy parts of our personality and find pathways of communication within, and better able to face reality in our mature selves, without physical scars.
@jayjaychadoy9226 oh I understand that. I coped myself with "I am actually a men". I am not saying it's not important to discuss that trauma can mean that you want to out-identify yourself from parts of your identity or your body or your social role. I am just saying he's being about as carefull about this as someone very in-sensitive would be. Empahsis on in, as in not. Taking about his freudian sexual related wordview is very, extreamly unhelpfull. For one might trigger, also assumes that ppl share it. It's probably somewhat better then the "your breasts are so important we are SO worried you won't fullfill what we want you to" rethoric but yes that's just because the other one is pretty terrible too. RadFems have the only good one.
"If the world gives them structure" WHAT. GARBAGE. With thay phrase he's just saying that every piece of social restraint and control is legitimate which clearly is not true.
He is saying that the psychological development of children is disrupted by harmful ideas and that causes body dysmorphic disorders. The body is reality, not a social construct. The mind and body are one, so there is not a boy mind in a girl body. An individual's masculinity/feminity can still vary within reality.
@NativeMystiq There is an extent to which our minds will adapt to the social environment. This has been an evolutionary adaptive mechanism in tribal species like ours, since it better helps us to survive and pass down our genes. Some of these mechanisms manifest directly in our neurology, such as dopamine hits for acting charitably, since that promotes cooperation and raises the charitor's status.
@@alexlaroux777 Yes. Everyone has to adapt to societal restrictions or suffer the consequences for not doing so. That's how it had been since we were hunter-gatherers living in small bands. You can try to change what you can, but everything else has to be accepted for the reality that it is.
Sounds like this guy cut and paste some southern preacher's sermon. Nice "copypasta" which is so broad and loose it could be applied to any malady you didn't like.
@@nathanmiller9785 He blames bad parenting and trauma for all gender issues and views any medical treatment as "snowplowing" which they conflate as removing difficult obstacles as being immature and giving in to every whim of the child. If the child says they don't feel right with their development and don't want to live as an adult in an adult body consistent with their birth sex, then it's similar to indulging the idea of ice cream for breakfast. Lawmakers actually used that argument. I've watched thousands of hours of these manipulative technics which now are being applied to adult gender medicine in the same jurisdictions where youth bans are already in place.
(1) Sounds like a group of very loosely connected variables (2) This person desires an outcome to justify his verson of reality. (3) Where are the numbers... (4) Where is the pair review? (5) If a concept is true then he could write it down one step at a time. (6) I think oral communication without text augmentation is terrible
This wasn't an experiment, so 1, 3 and 4 don't make any sense. 2 is just a baseless attack and attempt to read his mind. 5 & 6 are wrong, because he did explain it step by step and there were slides with text.
@shiina29 (1) You are assuming things (2) If you are going to make an assertion in reguards to people (3) If you are going to make assertions in reguards to groups of people (4) Then you find others want more than...it is because I say it it. (5) As for an attack...(I suggest you stop being so sentive) (6) Im not raising my voice or using profanity... (7) "Slides with text" (8) Perhap you should point me in the direction of them.
If only all therapists were so reality-based, clear and focused on adaptive growth of the personality.
So... like I think the desire to change gender is quiet reasonable. So I feel like if something is "reality based" the reality should be "it just can't be done and all the treatments sucks and you can probably get most of the stuff you want anyway".
Agree but understand please, whole countries like Canada will remove a therapist’s license to practice for not upholding political ideology. They’ll count it harm against the client. Many therapists have no choice. They need our protection, too. We need to remove politics from healthcare.
You have the choice to quit. If you go along with this, you chose to harm children for money.
telling people to go to therapist when they have problems is one of the worse advice you can give right now.
Very well put! I don't even struggle with the problems in question, but I'd still like THIS kind of a therapist.
I’ve always thought that. They’ll talk a lot about “the new me”, “finally able to live my life” etc. it’s obviously a fantasy about escaping yourself and being able to start over.
You ever seen silence of the lambs they remind me of that. Like that’s the real expression of themselves.
@@マリー-v4p Then reality sets in, your still the same person, same life. Whether your wearing pants or a dress.
It's a "fantasy" that tends to persist. We know something about its biological origins. We know how to alleviate the dysphoria. We know we know we know so much about all of these things already.
The exact same kind of things could be said by someone who realizes they're autistic...
This actually sums up perfectly the exerience that I had with one of my children. They came to me saying that they no longer identified with their sex and demanded I call them they/them pronouns. (I am doing so here only to create a certain annonymity, but in my daily speech I use correctly gendered language.)
I assured the child that as their mother it is my responsibility to raise them with a good relationship to reality and would be using correct pronouns. They got more upset, claiming it hurt them when they heard their correct gender being referred to. I assured them they would be ok.
After that I helped guide them to understand that the traumas (quite severe) they had experienced might be impacting their relationship with their body and their "gender identity." They took time and considered what I'd gently shared. Then they concluded I had a point.
I let them continue their journey without need of much more influence. And now, 3 years later, they literally tell me how "shame" it is that they went through that phase and beg me not to tell people (hence the gender neutral pronouns for annonymities sake).
My child now loves their gender fully embracing what that means for them, even in so-called "stereotypical" ways.
I'm glad I held onto reality and stayed the course. I'd encourage other parents to do the same.
It's great that you acknowledge your childs traumas. The world alone is traumatic. And you usually also traumatize your child by trying to protect it from the worse stuff.
Gotta keep an open heart and be a safe place to get the feelings heared and validated.
Especially with a boy cause for a boy the mother is the only person with certainty in life who will ever care about how her son feels.
Only when someone is able to process their emotions and have them validated they don't fall victom to maladaptive coping mechanisms.
Idk if it was ok to not use they pronouns when the child requested it.
Look into whether your child found a diffrent coping mechanism.
Interveining in coping mechanisms can cause trust issues between mother and child.
Maybe you just got your child a healthier coping mechanism.
Doesn't matter if it was intentional or planned as long as it works.
Hobby's / Relationships are good ways to cope with life.
I don't want to make you paranoid but children are masters at hiding things from their parents. Stuff can just suddenly blow up in your face.
Substance abuse, OCD, depression, porn addiction, anxiety.
If your child is intelligent it can hide those things beyond the point of your capability to repair the damage already done.
Did you ever have to yell at your child?
But yeah you are right on with minimal intervention.
Paternalism is bullshit.
They don't suddenly grow up at 18.
They are growing up from all the way before they were born.
The world just recently decided they may wanna give children below 18 some basic spawn protection.
Parents tasks is to give a child a stable enviroment and give childrens something to do IF they are bored or are doing something dumb.
But yeah if your child trusted you despite disrespect their wishes for pronouns it means that it generally trust you that the hurt it feels from being called pronouns it doesn't wanna be called in that moment doesn't come from malice.
Children whose trust has been previously abused may think you are just evil and want to punish them out of sadism.
But you see why this can backfire now?
If your child hasn't trusted you it would possibly be a desaster now.
The worst thing this trust can not only be abused by you but by anyone.
You know your child so i guess you know how much trust you can expect from it.
But yeah as one can easily see.
As humans we want to be seen and as humans we want to feel validation in how we feel.
If we can't get that we search for distractions or numbness.
Or in the case for transgerism we try to fix the issue.
A boy may realize that in this world it is difficult to be seen and come to view women as being given significantly more attention and yearn for being seen in such quantity.
Being told value in just existing.
A girl might realize the attention she get's is all in a objectifying manner.
She may see that the attention is on what she is not who she is and she may yearn for invisivbility from attention she deems unauthentic to seek value in what she creates.
The problem is in both cases they won't find their aspiration. The grass is always greener on the other side.
Though in a world with more women some rather have fake attention than none at all.
This would explain higher ftm detransition.
A man's job is finding attention that if found is likely authentic and a women's job is rejecting unauthentic attention.
This goes for all relationships btw. Friendly or romantic. Since for a man 55% of the world population is their competition.
(People born, not alive, since men die younger)
Women can atleast expect authentic attention from females. 45% of humans
Men can expect authentic attention from 55% of humans but only in quantity once they got attention from one of the 45% of humans and are no longer in competition with the other 55% of their sex.
Romantic relationships by design are often f'ed since a women is desired for what she is and a man for what he has. No one for who they are.
It's a problem of a sick society.
Or more correctly nature.
Sexual reproduction and natural selection they called Evolution.
Survival of the fittest. Or more often than not just survival.
But yeah the last part is tribal.
One may hope we departed from animalism atleast a bit in the last 12t years if you wanna believe in scientific history of when civilisation and thus interlectual evolution started.
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Wow! Great presentation. I've taught children athletics for 10 years and have come to a similar conclusion as Mr. Jaco van Zyl. I'm not a psychologist, but I can teach and understand children well. 4 or 5 years ago I began to suspect that gender dysphoria is really a sexual body dysmorphia. I was a teenager in the early 2000s when eating disorders and self harm were rising.
I believe body dysmorphia is unnaturally induced in children by adults through early sexualization, and I don't mean assault, but that may be a factor. It comes by forced "maturation", lacking of a more precise word, because they are taught too early to think sexually and they can't handle it. It also happens by indoctrination of a body-mind duality. Thus the mind tries to reject the body even though the body and mind are inseparable.
Adults have destroyed children's minds with terrible ideas that reject reality like you can be a girl mind in a boy body. Anyone can be more masucline/feminine, the mind and body are still one. It is easy for an adult to convince children of anything they want because children do not have the brain development to reason and create their own understanding. Children accept what they are told. You can lie to children, give them conflicting ideas, and they will believe what they are told. It plays on their needs and trust for adults.
I'm thankful that professionals are able to tell the truth and bring us back to reality. We need to protect children from awful ideas and harmful practices.
Like what Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt did to Shiloh. She wanted to be called John and have her hair cut short. Once Angelina left Brad Pitt Shiloh started growing her hair again and preferred to be called Shiloh.
Basically, there is a social responsibility to tell individuals “NO!” rather than acquiescing to unreasonable demands, thus allowing (or enforcing) a shift in perspective that modifies behaviour. This is neither cruelty nor kindness; it’s the practical application of reality.
Which suggests that those actively promoting any unreality are either Sadists, exploitative, or enablers.
Please stop talk8ng *talking
They sound unreasonable to you because you live in the gender binary, which is basically just assumptions we're taught to make. It has no scientific basis. Gender and sex are both bimodal, not bimorphous. Yadda yadda yadda, please start looking up what anyone actually trans is saying (as a good starting point, not because you don't have plenty to choose from amongst cis researchers and therapists etc.).
These are also the parents who grew up on participation trophies. It's not surprising to see them take the next step in 'protecting ' their kids from the harsh realities of everyday life. We need to bring that pendulum back to the middle.
Thank-you Jaco, your talk was very well structured, and informative. The whole of society needs to hear this loud and clear.
The Coddling of The American Mind by Lukianoff and Haidt discussed the national implications of a 'coddled generation'. The absence of boundaries has grown steadily over the past fifty years and I have seen this evolution as I approach age seventy. Claims we have 'gone soft' are true in many respects. This has been a natural and positive evolution in some ways but this has been deliberately weaponised by bad actors who have ulterior motives to bring down society. We are 'enjoying' the fruits of this transformation.
We certainly are, although these "fruits" are incompatible with life.
Humans aren’t evolved to have boundaries, which is why they’re so hard to accept. Hunter-gatherer parents, for example, do little in the way of setting boundaries for their small children. They allow them to learn through experience, not through dominance over them. The primary reason I think that children seemed to be able to accept boundaries more readily in the past is that they were dominated into submission, mostly by tyrannical fathers, from birth. They were so scared that they grew defensive walls(boundaries) around themselves so that it seemed not much participation of parents to enforce boundaries was needed beyond a certain, quite young, age. Unfortunately, in a civilized world, I guess this is necessary, but it will never be ultimately beneficial to human beings to live this way. The only way that people raised in such a world can develop even an illusion of confidence is if they become comfortable dominating others. Most don’t, because humans do not have a natural instinct to dominate others, but for the very small group of people who have developed that tendency, there’s a whole lot of economic benefit involved.
@@SubtleStair Well put.
Fantastic book. I also highly recommend The Happiness Hypothesis by Haidt.
That's true in some respects but it just so happens transgenderism isn't one of them, as a whole. You need extremely selective perusals of the literature for that conclusion. A selective ignorance.
The mother attunes and gives reality back to infant and gradually the infant calms down ... this is the exact mechanism for how therapy works (when it works)
Most common-sense people diagnosed the issue at the start of the craze many years ago, albeit without any of the fancy language. Happy to see scientists discover the conclusions which were apparent to many.
This video has opened my mind to actual problems going on. I knew something was up and noticed a pattern of certain people this happened to a their projections. Definitely deep-seated issues with this disorder.
How did this knowledge got lost throughout the medical and psychiatric community?!
Sold as a civil rights issue while lockdown was on.
It's not "knowledge". He's just asserted that gender norms / practicalities are "structure" and therefore immutable.
You can do it with anything "military service is * structure* "
"physical violence is structure"
All I think is true is
I. Sex transition completely sucks
Ii. You can probably deal get around the seemingly impossible structures of gender
It is a dark disgrace upon the whole medical and scientific community
Transhumanism. There's a push to move to a technocratic digital reality.
Right, because people with common sense have known this all along
This was the best discussion I’ve ever watched about what is happening in society today. If more people on both sides of the issue would use this to expand their perspective.
It isn't he's being terribly un-sensitive. On the good side he at least dosn't talk in terms of "your healthy body", "your important breast" or other very incredebly helpfull things to say to traumatized ppl
@@catsaresocute650 So rather not risk offending people such as yourself but be willing to mutilate children's and adolescent's bodies irreparably instead of treating the underlying factors... Please explain the rationale/logic to this approach.
Beautifully explained. This talk, shared with parents or even couples planning to become parents, can make a huge difference in how their parenting style affects their child. It should be shared and shared and shared.
Wow! So succinct. Thank you!
Spot on! What a relief to hear adults saying it out loud!
Only 2000 views?? We need to get sharing this !!!
Well said, all of it. Sadly, many people who need to listen to this, won’t.
Amazing, this talk could not have been given 24 months ago.
Why?
Or about, around, exactly 10 weeks ago 😅
It is certainly true of some cases. I can't say that I believe it is true of all, but for the rapid onset cases, I firmly believe that is more likely than not a maladaptive coping mechanism
I have been very bothered as to how this knowlege somehow slipped away, dismissed probably due to modalities such as CBT being touted by the likes of Lord Laird. I have always been impressed by how Psycoanalysis grasps human development.
Psychoanalysis is a religion. Freud thought he was being scientific but he really just interpreted everything to suit his preconceptions. The fact that Wolf Man, years later, said he hadn't improved at all is testimony to this.
Overcoddling is Anxious Preoccupied Attachment which leads to Borderline. You can also get anxious preoccupied when a parent is sometimes available as you see w/Screen use by parent. You see it when the mother refuses to be a Secure Base. When there is no Secure Base, the kid won’t explore the environment because attachment is constantly activated. Anyway - this leads strait to borderline. Harry Harlow looked at Macaques and showed clearly that LOVE both mother & peer ALWAYS conquers Aggression in healthy development. A lot of these kids did not get healthy love aka they never had a secure attachment w/their mother.
It's easier to blame men though. It's always "lack of a father figure" or if there was a father present, be just "wasn't a good enough father"
@@ryankerins361 THAT IS ALSO TRUE! I HAD A GREAT DAD!
A Husband
I gave my daughter lots of love. ASD made it hard not to over coddle but extra love got us through this horrendous period of about two years and now I have my daughter back.
Boundaries were held strongly and then firmly reshown with love and clarity. I held reality in front of her and said it’s not your fault we are here for you.
The chains of the ideology then started to fall away. I am eternally grateful.
Thanks to all those who started to speak out, we need to hear it too! 💝
It was the hippies. Then it was the punks. Then it was the goths. Then it was the emo. Every young person lashes out at norms and wants to be special because you’re about to enter adulthood and realize you’re not that special, so you want some type of signifier. Most grow out of it.
Multiple cultures have had third genders for centuries. You're the one jumping on a bandwagon here
Phases are what they are and most people outgrow them but how do you outgrow mutilating your genitals with surgery and your body through the use of puberty blockers. There is also another major contributing factor to the problem. Aggressive machine learning algorithms that did not exist before which amplify the problem in ways that a lot of people fail to comprehend.
@ I’m merely talking about the desire, not the actual consequences. Washing off makeup or giving Jnco jeans to Goodwill is a lot easier than detransitioning, the effects of which may be irreversible. I have heard testimonies of those who have.
@@littlekingtrashmouth9219 weird, my comment pointing out that trans people have existed across the world for centuries, was deleted. If being trans is a recent trend, why did Europeans oppress trans people in India and North America after colonising them?
This is a very smart analysis- it is very academic and would benefit from translation into more accessible language. The over coddling of children is a problem that has very wide implications beyond gender issues.
As Buckaroo Bonsai once said: No matter where you go.....there you are.
Jaco Van Zyl is just brilliant. Concise, articulate & utterly clear. Bravo.
Thank you for putting into words the thoughts I have had about child transitions for at least a decade. Surely, the trans activists will attack your premise and try to cancel your professional career.
Simplicity does not mean the therapy is simple. Don’t be afraid of hard work in therapy with a ‘good enough’ therapist.
I just found you and this is amazing. I can’t wait to watch the rest of your videos.
This is wonderfully clesr & calming. It's sanity & it is a healthy place for people to start when they feel ill at ease.
Thank you. This will help vulnerable people ❤
😮😮When I (70) was a child, the idea that we might be in the wrong bodies was never introduced to us. I still wished I was like my brothers but thank goodness no one messed with my head. The school could not even discuss periods with girls without WRITTEN parental permission. I am a happily married woman and it has been a great and fertile life.
Back then boys had more leeway on all matters, but they couldn’t have kids. I too am in my 70’s and love my kids.
Harming my body in other ways was not good either, like not valuing my body, and living a high risk lifestyle. I would likely have been a cutter but instead scratched the heck out of my face, at times.
Your message is valuable to those who think trying to change your sex will make it all better.
God Bless you.
What you are describing is just a form of cultural normativity and gender expression envy. Nobody "messes with your head", Gender dysphoria is much more complex than that, it is an innate internal struggle of incongruence with your body and how is it developing, it is ever present and never goes away, it only can be diminished to a reasonable level when the body is assisted to be more aligned with the person expectations of their internal sense of gender.
One of the biggest issues with this modern approach to gender issues is that wondering what it would be like to be a member of the opposite sex is a normal part of child development! To tell anyone who has thought about what it might be like that they are trans is insane.
This is brilliant!!
Is it safe to say that forces already knew all this and are preying on the concept?
Spot on, friend.
Everyone knew this was a bad idea from the very beginning.
But the surgeries, pills, hormones, and LITERAL LIFE-LONG doctor visits are BIG MONEY. These poor people will be stuck in the medical system for the rest of their lives.
So what are you gonna do? Save a child's life or cash in???
That's how we got here
😢
How & why have psychiatrists affirmed this disorder & medical "professionals"🤯🤯🤯🤷♀️
Cowardice and / or greed.
Because it’s profitable
WPATH pushed this as the right response
Money + ideology.
Money
Ha..you think.
I've seen 100+ boyce of reason episodes.
I have cried over the this more than once. And I'm a man with not kids.
Mal adaptive....is putting it lightly
Great presentation Jaco!
I feel like this psychologist has simplified the passage of time in so far as the average human can understand it.
I’m sure the work he’s sweated out with clients is not and has not been this simple.
Thank you sir, and keep up the ‘good enough’ work.
Reality is hard to take, but it’s better than the alternative, trying to change myself, ourselves by surgery.
Keep up the ‘good enough work’ you’ve set before yourself.
May God Bless you in all you do.
This is the first instance where I've found a Freudian-based idea to have genuine merit.
Although the Freudian stuff could be left out and it would still work.
Its like smoking, drinking, or playing video games to cope with depression or anxiety.
…but more serious, because there is no clean time from all the scars, and physical pain in old age, that has enough pain already.
It is self-mutilation to the extreme. You can't go back after these surgeries. It is self-sterilization.
Terrible comparisons.
This is not my field, so it contained a lot of new information and concepts I am not familiar with. But the basic argument seemed to make a lot of sense.
Thanks to whomever posted this.
I disagree with the concept of over-coddling or too good parenting. Parents who remove any source of frustration from their child to avoid having to help the child deal with it, they're simply neglecting their child. Children need to be taught to deal with emotions and if they're deprived of that, no Version of whatever the parents are doing instead makes that any better.
This is a small but very important difference. It's never because parents care too much but always because they do either not enough or the wrong things. I have yet to see a case of too good parenting going wrong. Bad parents however often teach their kids to pretend that their parents are much better than they actually are. Tell a kid that if people think something is wrong, it gets out into a children's home alone, that kid will do everything to glorify its parents mediocre parenting and when the reality starts crashing in, they tell everyone that they don't understand how their perfectly caring parents could be related to them being traumatized. I used to believe that I was broken even though my childhood was far above average and only in my late 30s, I really understood that my problems are because of that same childhood which was actually so bad that I now have did.
Telling people they are too soft will only bring back violence as an accepted form of education and that won't fix any issues coming from how the world developed over the last century...
This hit's home. Thx for writing this.
And yes. The problems isn't feeling emotions.
It's lacking healthy ways to dealth with them.
Ways to get the emotions seen and validated so you are not made to feel crazy.
Because when you are told you are crazy that's when you become crazy.
A good life is feeling all the emotions while being able to cope with them in healthy ways and not feel unjustified in feeling them.
The problem is neccience.
Imagine reality as a growing hammer.
Imagine the childs hand below that hammer.
A good parents will acknowledge they won't be able to hold that hammer up forever and throw in the towel and deal with the damage.
A bad parent may continue to hold up that hammer until they can't hold it anymore by which time it grew so much it crushes the childs hand which will enslave the child to plenty of coping.
It is tragic. Since it is actually too good parenting.
The parent cared and suffered not wanting to hurt their child. Wantjng to keep the pain of the world away.
But they forgot that reality will hurt their child. Reality is stronger than they are.
A good parent gives their child chickenpox. If they don't it might kill the Adult.
It's about alining with natural law.
We all hate natural law.
Reality is cruel. We do not experience infinity yet.
As long as this is reality we need to let the hammer fall on the hand as quickly as possible when it is the smalest.
Otherwise you might cross the point of no return where the hammer grows so much it grow over the entire body of the child crushing it when it finally falls.
The debt and intrests intrests torturing your child more in the life it never got to life more than if you had dropped the hammer right away.
This law tortures you for oposing it.
And it does so more with each second you do.
It seems to be a form of narcissistic personality disorder. Obsessed with self, lacking empathy for others, hyperfocused on their feelings while unable or unwilling to understand those of others. Sadly, that's been my personal experience with my own trans child.
Narcissistic personality disorder is caused by poor parenting. The child never learned to be mature. They learn what you teach them.
Cptsd
STOP CODDLING FANTASY!
🎯 I feel the same. So caught up in "yourself" that nothing or no one else matters. It's hard to imagine living a life where everything is about "me."
Idk, the trans people I’ve met have been some of the most caring, compassionate, and empathetic. I treat them they way they want to be treated, though, rather than insisting they’re wrong about who they are, so I’m sure that probably plays a role in how they respond to me vs others.
His throwaway reference to Queer idiology ignores the depth and extent of queer peoples' lived experience
What does ‘queer’ mean and what is ‘queer ideology’? Are you referring to Queer Theory?
Was this a satirical comment? Most gay ppl aren't "queer" because it is an ideology
@@stephenstephen1505 perhaps you would help us understand what queer ideology is about? It seems to me to be mostly about a rejection of heteronormativity and mammalian biological reality.
Ive been transitioning MTF for over a year now and I think about that constantly because I had a lot of trauma growing up directly tied to my sex, gender and sexuality.
Thankfully I am in contact with a psychiatrist with experience in this field who can help me unpack it. As I haven’t been successful in detransitioning on my own .
That demon in your profile pic has more influence than you realise. I really hope you find your way back to being happy just the way God made you because he doesn’t make mistakes!❤
@ that’s not a demon it’s Shiva the Hindu god and Shakti, the goddess fused into one being called Ardanrishvara which is several centuries older than the Christian concept of God (assuming that’s the god you’re talking about) . But thanks for the goodwill anyways ❤️🙏🏻
@ it’s related to the fallen angels (nephillim) from long before Jesus’ time (book of Enoch & Ethiopian bible) and it’s dual image is related to the nature of the internal struggles you’re facing. Nothing is inconsequential in this world. Thank you for taking my comment in the spirit of love from which it’s intended we can all disagree but the love is there regardless.
@@JojoRose695dude you’re not helping anyone. Just stop. You Christian’s don’t understand a damn thing about what dysphoric trans people go through… you just want them to look like what you’re comfortable with 😂😂 like literally stop.
Cases such as yours ideally should always be detected in the clinical assessment period before any serious measures have been taken to transition, but obviously medicine is tough to make 100% bulletproof. Best of luck
A person I met in counselling class stated about five reasons he needed therapy without realising and had come to the conclusion he was trans
Usually mothers, but often fathers. "Parent" is the better term here. Men are parents just as much as women.
thanks so much for this really interesting video.
Our Media and Entertainment Industry Chooses not to show us... Strong women who are married and who are mothers. Or smart sensative men who are married with children. Your prostate does care about your feelings or the culture gender roles you are falling into.
I think we need to start normalising and acknowledging the horrors of adolescence. It's a terrible, disempowered, depressed stage of life. Let's stop belittling, and talk about the transition from childhood to adulthood, then most young people won't feel so alienated
What I've noticed is most transitioners are neurodivergent /autististic and if you use the "wrong" pronouns they have am autistic meltdown.
I’m on the spectrum and can spot a fellow tistic from a mile off. Apart from a few older males who I think have a sexual deviance, nearly all the ones I’ve seen are most definitely on the spectrum and appear to be tortured souls. When I was a teen full of angst I wanted to be a punk with shaved spiky hair and tattoo one half of my body. Thank God I was talked out of it! Couldn’t be more different now.
That's not factually correct. There's a higher correlation between autism and transgenderism but it's not "most transitioners". The bot just gave me 6% to 25% as the estimates that have been given. Higher than general population but not "most".
And you'd probably have a bit of a meltdown if you were constantly being misgendered :P
Okay I didn't watch the video because I don't have enough time, but in my opinion this drive to transition especially in teenagers stems in basically being a teenager. You grow and develop faster than your child mind can comprehend and your emotions are all over the place and you feel awkward in your own body as if wearing clothes that doesn't fit. And when someone comes along and tells you, you're in the wrong body, I can fix that and it will be great, it's easy to believe it. Especially when they leave out the fact it means life long servitude to pharma and high chance of nasty health complications.
What I would love to hear is how to tell the difference. I’m a stepmom with a trans step daughter. I typically stay out of it but when it first started happening I spoke up, I showed skepticism. She is a child, how does she know she is making the best decision. I was called a bunch of names. So since then my lips are sealed.
True gender dysphoria is EXTREMELY RARE. Probably closer to 1% than the 25% rate we are seeing right now. Some people are for real, most are not.
That being said, I think you're right, just say nothing.
The most common outcome in that situation is that you will be made the bad guy for just trying to discuss a topic. That person will figure it out on their own eventually.
Staying quiet is the same as agreeing. If you care for a child you should speak up. If the child had anorexia would you stay quiet?
When i was a kid i wanted to be a velocoraptor. You know how my family corrected that? They made fun of me and laughed thier asses off at me until I stopped.
Excellent presentation! ❤
I love the concept of symbolization as the packaging of reality in digestible chunks -- a reality that otherwise would be overwhelming. This has a great deal of relevance for trauma therapy and I wonder where these ideas have been articulated more fully?
Overall a video which points i didn't expect to be this good.
But it forgets the 0 sum parts.
You cannot create healing for someone out of thin air. I explained in other comments.
Healing costs.
I think this makes sense for people that aren’t truly trans.
People that are just following what’s going on in society right now.
No one is truly trans
This doesn’t explain the whole generation of people who transitioned as adults. Most of my trans friends transitioned well into middle age. I have a hard time thinking of them not in their preferred gender. On the other hand, it is possible that some children identify as trans even though they are not in the confusion of adolescencew
The key for identifying gender dysphoria in minors is "consistent, persistence and insistence" while evaluating very carefully the level of distress of the child, nothing needs to be permanent at this point, but is is crucial to be timely pointed in the right direction to avoid further pain and suffering. Trust me, waiting into middle age to realize this almost cost my life, the possible phycological scars are insane. These Gen people are playing with a serious condition that only a few but very valuable members of the population can only begin to understand.
You're very brave to point that out in this comment thread.
Indeed there are plenty of well adjusted trans people who have not experienced the trauma and symptoms this speaker presents.
Are they male? Cos then they're most likely AGP.
It says at the start: this talk will not go into those. So yes. It is not about them.
@@Marcusmarcb0tI Can you give any examples of well-adjusted trans ppl?
Statistically we know that in long term studies they overwhelmingly do poorly by any metric. That there are a handful that are ok isn't really much of a claim. There are victims of all kinds of medical scandals who go on to live normal lives. Doesn't mean they were given the right treatment
Excellent
This is such an excellent talk, and the essay that it is based upon is excellent as well.
This was a perfect explanation of not only the struggles of trans people, but the psychological landscape of Western youth.
Telling your kid NO is actually 10 BILLION TIMES KINDER than letting them chop off their sex organs.
Glad this professional is out here talking about it (finally), but where were these professionals 10 or 15 years ago?
So many lives have been ruined because no one was brave enough to disagree with the progressive mob, wise enough to see the obvious physical danger such procedures put you in FOR LIFE, or strong enough to tell their kid NO 😢
Where? Nowhere!
A white, straight man, good knowledgeable professional has no chance of getting an academic position nowadays. Universities will hire “minority” regardless their academic and scientific achievements. Witnessed this firsthand.
For those who are living happier, more productive lives after transitioning, it doesn't matter what you think is wrong with them. Transitioning is only appropriate for adults though. What may be maladaptive for some, may not be so for others.
It's always maladaptive, yes you can live a productive life using a maladaptive coping mechanism. That coping mechanism might be keeping you going, but transitioning is almost always unhealthy for your body, it almost always makes unreasonable demands on other people. Even fairly reasonable trans people will probably use the wrong sex bathroom, not take too kindly to someone always referring to them using correct sex pronouns. Even if the trans person is okay with not doing physical transition, these demands are still made on other people. The demands made on others is another way it's maladaptive.
Being happier than before and more productive doesn't mean your way of coping isn't maladaptive.x
The point though, is that we have not yet attempted true helpful psychotherapy targeted at alleviating gender dysphoria. All we have done is conversion therapy which is basically just torture, or medical transition. But we have not yet even considered trying exploratory talk therapy for GD. It hasn't yet been done on a large scale. Dr Az Hakeem has started doing it but there have been no scientific studies on his results, though he reports extremely high success rates of none of his patients going on to transition after doing exploratory talk therapy with him.
Maladaptive is maladaptive.
Look into Blair White. Blair has transitioned and openly admits that they have a mental illness and that it is maladaptive, but also says it saved their life and it worked for them.
Blair recieves a mass of respect due to the honesty they always express. They never deny the truth about this issue.
I myself have a mental illness - its a ersonality disorder, a maladaptive response. It saved me in childhood but ruined my life.
Now I embrace the parts I cannot change yet (if ever) and work with what I've got. But I am honest and say that it is maladaptive because that's the truth - even if I now use the maladaptation to my advantage.
@@FronteirWolfthe problem is a lack of alternative coping. If your choice is to cope or die you cope. Simple.
It's not a choice. Someones inconvience or even suffering doesn't give right to someones death.
Whether to transition or not is a simple question of whether it will aid in saving your life or whether it will not.
It is a decision that is a dilemma.
@@elsh332i read in another comment you got a child. So asume you have a husband.
Maybe try gojng with him somewhere where no man's law aplys and bringing the ultimate trust.
A place where you can kill and die without man's consequence. Since atleast one of you survives to possibly care for your child.
Since you both met as strangers and if you both survive you might gain new found trust for the unknown.
Imagine.
(Maybe for the more extreme cases though. It seems your coping works well enough to walk you into your grave without being the one who dug it)
interesting talk & concept but i'd've loved to have seen evidence that it's a maladaptive coping mechanism to the challenges/frustrations of adolescence.
you could argue that transitioning doesn't make sense as an avoidant coping strategy because transitioning sex (in theory) doesn't remove/avoid adolescence, it just changes which sexes' adolescence is experienced.
also, wouldn't it be strange if the care-starved child transitions as an act of aggression to 'attack' or 'excise' something from themselves whereas the coddled child transitions to avoid or self-sooth (i.e., that the same approach is used to achieve opposite & extreme emotional drives)?
I don’t dispute many of the claims this speaker is making, but I think it is a dramatic oversimplification. A person’s individual psychology, desires and identity cannot be comprehensively summarized by criticizing parenting styles. It’s much more complex than that. For example my brother and I grew up in nearly identical circumstances, we are dramatically different people.
It’s easy to follow a logical proposition, it’s easy to connect a presumed cause to a likely result. And it’s easy to stitch a bunch of these claims together into a kind of cohesive paradigm for explaining what gives rise to someone’s impulses. Then everyone in the comment section says “yes, how insightful.” I agree that the factors the speaker mentioned exist and bad parenting certainly leads to maladaptive behaviors. But it comes off as very presumptuous to me to dismiss the immutable reality of sexuality and personal preference as if some perfectly executed conventional parenting is the recipe for perfectly formed conventional offspring, and any divergence from that is a failure of the parents.
My parents made plenty of significant mistakes but were attentive, had remarkable integrity and produced two happy well-adjusted children. My brother and I live in society as productive people with friends, families and careers. But I am gay, born that way, absolutely unambiguously, and he is as straight as a board. The way that impacted my experience of youth was dramatic and immensely challenging. My parents didn’t understand, I didn’t understand, society is completely inconsistent about what is moral, proper, responsible, “normal”, etc. It came down to me to decide that I don’t care what people think, I am happy and contribute meaningfully to the world living truthfully as myself. As a man, as a son, brother, friend, software engineer, lover, provider, contributor, etc. I found meaning. I love my family, but my life now wasn’t because of perfect parenting or failed parenting, it wasn’t because I accepted the “reality” of any gender role or nuclear family model. It is because I honor what I feel, what I want and I love the people around me.
I love traditional family structure and agree that surgical transition seems like a radical decision. But I cannot comment on the experience of gender dysphoria because I never experienced gender dysphoria. My brother never experienced homosexuality. It wasn’t because of our parents. There are certain experiences that have a deeper point of origin than our parents’ level of attentiveness. It is dismissive to disregard that or to reduce all people who diverge from gender stereotypes as being “maladaptive.” The surgery may indeed be maladaptive, but if the motivation is anything like what motivates homosexuality, it is deep, intimate, real, immutable, and needs to be factored into the conversation as valid, not evidence of parental failure.
In regards to what you said in the second paragraph, this speaker wasn't focusing on sexuality with his analysis and conclusions. This topic is all about gender and identity. And if you read the description of the video, it tells us that the speaker is a clinical psychologist and he tells us that he has come to these conclusions based on his work with children and his understanding of psychological principles. He also stated that this isn't the full picture but is perhaps a piece to the puzzle. He's not providing a presumption. His conclusions provide a starting point for those that don't know where to begin on trying to understand this topic or they provide an additional contributing aspect for those that have already been studying the topic.
As someone else said your sxuality doesn't really figure here in the conversation.
Btw there's no evidence that ppl are born with a sxuality. Ppl just tell themselves (regardless of sxuality) cos it makes them feel better. There's a ton of evidence that all kinds of other factors play a role.
@@andywickoren the speaker did not address sexual preference as much as body dysphoria and denial of biological reality. There is a big difference between acceptance of being attracted to same sex partners and being convinced you were born into the wrong physical body
Have any studies been done on unvaccinated children? With the rise in autism and the known links with dysphoria, but with almost zero autism in non vaccinated children, I would like to hear of a study if there is one.
There is no link between vaccinations and autism.
They won’t allow those studies! I have twins who both changed the same day they had the MMR. Stopped acknowledging our voices or looking for us would just stare into space. Both still non verbal and stimming all day at 4! Biggest regret of my life letting them have that thing.
So basically, kids today don't want to grow up
I think so. All media tells them they are doomed. Even my oldest son, who's 27 now, told me once that he missed childhood because he didn't have to worry about anything. Every day was carefree and full of new adventures. We definitely weren't snow plow or helicopter parents. He took his bumps and bruises and learned how to stand up for himself and think for himself, but he didn't have doom and gloom piped into his brain 24/7 like today's kids. I am glad he can have a nostalgic view of his childhood, but he's also excited about the future, marrying his girlfriend, and starting a family. And honestly... I am very excited for him.
Worse than that-- adults today don't want to grow up!
This is literally what patient zero had as her main issue in the Dutch protocol. Fear of going through puberty and becoming an adult.
I don't think I'm allowed to say it but my opinion is that patients from -TQIA2+ onwards have been terribly failed by their therapists. Like batteries human beings have two poles, which can be installed in series or parallel ţo suit different needs. Every battery is perfect exactly the way it was made, no alterations necessary, because what's more important to focus on is the connections made between their insides. 🤔
Hi Jaco, fellow South African here. Meerkats are cute!
One major question. Suppose that biological sex is the ONLY reality-defining principle in psychological development. Your thesis that transitioning is a negation of reality would then follow. What I do not believe you substantiate is that this denying of reality is necessarily maladaptive. Could it not sometimes be protective, and perhaps even worthy of protection?
The notion that objective reality is always desirable is a very big thesis to defend in such a short video, of course! I confess I do not find it convincing, but maybe your years of clinical work have shown you otherwise. A follow up in which you defend the claim would therefore be welcome.
Yours in integrity and honesty. ❤
This guy get's it. But i expected him to have the humility to admit he isn't diffrent.
Everyone poops and everyone copes.
They say nothings new is under the sun.
The solution has to be said.
We have to agree on "We" and on what we want.
And accept reality, to carry the flag and pass it on, to one day slay limitation.
One day the matter what makes my body will forget that pain exist for pain will have never existed.
This isn't for nothing.
Interpret belief as any religion.
But if you do not believe in this you say you believe in suicide or worse.
Which then i will ask you" is bliss diffrent from void?"
And you will see we view the same things just from diffrent eyes.
You believe and we work together.
The alternative is to be insane.
just like ordering takeout.. every time i do im like.. well that sux immstill the same 😔
10:59 The latency period is a myth. Just search for "children's sexuality no latency period."
I will not search "children's sexuality" actually, thanks
That sounds like a pervert's justification for child abuse.
It seems weird and very outdated to use Freud and M. Klein
You overcomplicate things. It's simply the Death drive directed inwards. All in the domain of the superego.
Lol. How about a desire for worthwhile legacy with society's norms through personal change
I was curious about this talk, but sadly it was just that - talk. It has not on any meaningful level been proven what causes gender dysphoria and this added nothing of substance.
Gender dysphoria comes from being gender nonconforming and not being able to deal with that. Usually such people have a very simplistic idea about what makes an adult male a man and an adult female a woman. Over-reliance on sex based stereotypes. Social influence, especially online. Why are some people susceptible to it and others not? Autism spectrum, primarily.
exactly. this guy is a pseud
Do you have any ideas of what causes it?
To me it seems largely iatrogenic and better explained by other common comorbidities, autism, sxuality and just plain growing pains
@ (no one knows yet). I think there’s likely a variety of reasons behind gender dysphoria and that we’re not even close to a full understanding of the phenomenon. And making up causalities and politicizing them will only delay the process and deepen the trauma of everyone experiencing this painful dis-ease.
@@alexlaroux777 Are you saying I´m making up causalities and politicizing them? Or the speaker is? Neither seem plausible.
We know we can rule out the claims of the activists of simply being born with it (as the sole cause) because we know that other factors change the rate. We know that child abuse is common amongst this group. According to surveys from the activist side most trans identifying people start identifying in adolescence or later. It makes the most sense to me to fit this discomfort in with anorexia, body dysmorphia, disassociation. The symptom pool theory fits well too.
With the exception of the adult male group that seem to have a direct link to corn use (not that this doesn't play a role in the adolescents) and arguably don't suffer dysphoria and simply have a paraphilia.
Then it's very clear that at the socio-cultural level, given that "trans" is clearly a socio-cultural identity, it appeals to autistic people and non-heterosexuals as well as just misfits. Often the true cause of dis-ease is clearly not fitting in, being different, not forming close romantic bonds etc. You could make an argument that autism is a sign of something happening from birth but at a social level it seems clear that a lot of the black and white thinking of the ideological movement simply appeals to this group.
Then if you look at the actual diagnostic criteria for gender dysphoria it directly involves pathologising normal behaviours and particularly behaviours that are more prevalent amongst children who grow up non-heterosexual such as playing with certain toys or having certain friends. This combined with the explosion of numbers of diagnoses points to an iatrogenic root. The trauma you mention is prevalent prior to the diagnosis and goes entirely untreated because the focus is on affirmation. We've seen patterns of young people being victims of attacks, losing a loved one or some other tangible real world event immediately preceding the diagnosis.
Unfortunately the activists are not the least bit interested in finding a cause and even prevent certain studies from being undertaken that might be able to separate out different groups in the pursuit of the mythical "true trans". They just want to push the affirmative process through quicker. Despite it having clearly worse results than therapy or frankly just letting time pass.
When you say "delay the process" which process are you referring to? The medical interventions like puberty blockers that have zero mental health benefits even according to those who oppose the findings of Cass Review and have negative effects according to many studies (including those that have been suppressed)? The hormones? The surgeries?
Don't you think we should investigate a cause before we go down extreme routes that haven't been clinically proven and that have largely been shown to have negative results since 1976?
❤
Wrong simplification of understanding of ppl and un-kind talk.
…but he, you, others need to go through the pain of therapy to get to the other side, to find solace in those who understand.
Good enough therapy can help to take us through the reason for our pain, and make it possible to keep our body intact, if we try.
We can find ways to communicate with the fantasy parts of our personality and find pathways of communication within, and better able to face reality in our mature selves, without physical scars.
@jayjaychadoy9226 oh I understand that. I coped myself with "I am actually a men". I am not saying it's not important to discuss that trauma can mean that you want to out-identify yourself from parts of your identity or your body or your social role.
I am just saying he's being about as carefull about this as someone very in-sensitive would be. Empahsis on in, as in not. Taking about his freudian sexual related wordview is very, extreamly unhelpfull. For one might trigger, also assumes that ppl share it. It's probably somewhat better then the "your breasts are so important we are SO worried you won't fullfill what we want you to" rethoric but yes that's just because the other one is pretty terrible too.
RadFems have the only good one.
"If the world gives them structure"
WHAT. GARBAGE.
With thay phrase he's just saying that every piece of social restraint and control is legitimate which clearly is not true.
Regardless of "legitimacy", it is real, like it or not. Getting youth to accept reality is obviously important.
He is saying that the psychological development of children is disrupted by harmful ideas and that causes body dysmorphic disorders. The body is reality, not a social construct. The mind and body are one, so there is not a boy mind in a girl body. An individual's masculinity/feminity can still vary within reality.
@NativeMystiq There is an extent to which our minds will adapt to the social environment. This has been an evolutionary adaptive mechanism in tribal species like ours, since it better helps us to survive and pass down our genes. Some of these mechanisms manifest directly in our neurology, such as dopamine hits for acting charitably, since that promotes cooperation and raises the charitor's status.
It’s political not scientific. Shall women also adapt to societal restrictions…
@@alexlaroux777 Yes. Everyone has to adapt to societal restrictions or suffer the consequences for not doing so. That's how it had been since we were hunter-gatherers living in small bands. You can try to change what you can, but everything else has to be accepted for the reality that it is.
Wholeheartedly DISAGREE.
This guy is so clueless I don't even know where to start.
Explain
Let people live their lives. Why is it anyone's business? Its NOT
Spoken by someone who is evidently not a parent
@stewiewilliamson1541 it's NO ONE'S business!! You want parents ' rights or not?? You can't have it both ways
When children are being abused it’s everyone’s business. Would you turn away from a children being abused in any other way ?
@zeenaworters5200 stop the rhetoric. We get it, trans people make you uncomfortable. Get over it and grow up
Sounds like this guy cut and paste some southern preacher's sermon. Nice "copypasta" which is so broad and loose it could be applied to any malady you didn't like.
Poor thing, you didn't understand a word.
That's an irrelevant, weak argument.
You either didn’t listen or didn’t grasp what was being said. Sounds nothing like a sermon of any kind.
@@nathanmiller9785 He blames bad parenting and trauma for all gender issues and views any medical treatment as "snowplowing" which they conflate as removing difficult obstacles as being immature and giving in to every whim of the child. If the child says they don't feel right with their development and don't want to live as an adult in an adult body consistent with their birth sex, then it's similar to indulging the idea of ice cream for breakfast. Lawmakers actually used that argument. I've watched thousands of hours of these manipulative technics which now are being applied to adult gender medicine in the same jurisdictions where youth bans are already in place.
(1) Sounds like a group of very loosely connected variables
(2) This person desires an outcome to justify his verson of reality.
(3) Where are the numbers...
(4) Where is the pair review?
(5) If a concept is true then he could write it down one step at a time.
(6) I think oral communication without text augmentation is terrible
This wasn't an experiment, so 1, 3 and 4 don't make any sense. 2 is just a baseless attack and attempt to read his mind. 5 & 6 are wrong, because he did explain it step by step and there were slides with text.
@shiina29
(1) You are assuming things
(2) If you are going to make an assertion in reguards to people
(3) If you are going to make assertions in reguards to groups of people
(4) Then you find others want more than...it is because I say it it.
(5) As for an attack...(I suggest you stop being so sentive)
(6) Im not raising my voice or using profanity...
(7) "Slides with text"
(8) Perhap you should point me in the direction of them.
❤