I was married to one for 20 years I agree sometimes there are not enough words to explain what they do and so hard to tell my story because it sounds so crazy because it is so crazy, even some things he did still hurts my head
I lived with a psychopath, it took me years to work it out as I had never ever come across anyone like this before. He did not have a cut off switch at all, he would give me "talks" on my faults, and how to correct them, for 12 hours straight. He caused me so much misery, understanding what I had lived though took me a decade, I am still single to this day.
I've never worked with a psychopath - but I personally have many psychopathic traits. I had conduct disorder as a kid and I was a practicing alcoholic from age 12-28. I had a very emotionally abusive dad. I think that I developed the psychopathic traits as a defense mechanism and a psychologist recently suggested that part of my alcohol abuse (I absolutely am an alcoholic though) was to "self medicate" so that the psychopathy didn't quite become the whole of my personality. Even now, 32 years after getting sober I can use my psychopathic traits to manipulate, lie, be grandiose, callous and non-empathetic along with several other behaviors associated with psychopathy - and I can access this almost like flipping a switch. When I got sober I worked really hard in AA and studied Christianity for more than a decade to learn how to be a "more regular person". I had known from at least my early teens that my personality make up was different in many ways from everyone else.
I believe that my mother is a psychopath. She used to torture small animals to death when she was a child and they are fond memories for her, which she shared with me when I was young. I don't think that she tortures animals anymore, but she loves stories about animals and people suffering in the most horrible ways. It excites her. She is just as excited when she describes sexual assaults that her daughters suffered. She abused patients under her care when she was a nursing student and found it hilarious. I haven't ever seen her display genuine empathy for another living creature. When one of her children becomes ill or injured, she acts like a doting concerned mother in front of the doctor, but as soon as we are out of earshot, she is excited about the doctor's reaction to our symptoms. The bigger the reaction, the happier she is. She told me that I was born premature, at home. She said that she thought that I wasn't going to live. She implied that if I hadn't been able to breastfeed, that she was just going to let me die.
I have a work story. So I worked in a clothing store one time. It was my second day on the job -I was still "training" btw. (It hadn't even been a week that I was there) My boss says to me that day "special twice, tomorrow I want you to go in my place to our sister store and greet our general manager. It is VERY important and you CANNOT be late. I would go myself, but I'm very very busy" I was thrilled at first because I thought "wow, my boss trusts me a lot already! This is great! Maybe if I do well tomorrow, she will trust me more and promote me next year." And so the next day I go to the other store across town and I meet the general manager. When I first walked into the store the first thing the general manager said to me was "Wow, your personality is very refreshing! You seem very happy and confident. That's great for customers." I said "Thank you" and started working, putting clothes on the shelf, helping customers, etc. Throughout the day tho, I noticed the manager watching me all day. I felt off about it but was told by a co-worker "she was the bossy type", and very mean/controlling. Everything had to be perfect and run like a machine. Anyways, it was 2 hours till my shift was ending, and I thought I was doing well for my third day on the job (which btw my co-worker was shocked it was only my third day, and I later learned you usually need at least one week of training before they can send you to other stores). I was working hard and helping as best I can. I didn't even take my second break, not that I needed it. Then the general manager comes up behind me while I'm looking for something in a cubby like area. "What are you doing?" The general manager asks, her voice sharp like a parent catching a child in the cookie jar. "I'm grabbing some new sizes for a customer" I said, a bunch of clothes piled in my arms. She steps closer to me, and I step back into the wall behind me. "I want you to move faster." she says coldly. "It seems like you aren't working hard enough. Do you even WANT to continue working here?" With my back against the wall I felt like a mouse cornered by a lion. "Ye-ess" I managed to squeek out, but she still didn't move. Then she came even closer, and into my personal space. "After you are done with this customer I want you to go fix that wall of clothes over there." She pointed to a wall I had already done earlier that day. (I had already fixed it earlier that day. My co-worker even said I had done a good job) "But I..." I started to say, But she cut me off with a glare. "just go do it!" she said and then backed away from me and left, going into the office. I sighed in huge relief and tried to calm myself from the adrenaline running through my body, which I now realize was fear. Then I went to go help the customer I was previously helping and then I fixed the wall again. I said a polite "goodbye" to the gerneral manager at the end of my shift. "It was a pleasure to meet you." I said. And then I went home. The next day my boss was not happy and pulled me into the office. "Special twice, the general manager just told me on the phone you had a horrible day yesterday and didn't work very hard. She said she caught you slacking and you took extra minutes on your break. That is unacceptable. I want you to do better from now on. I expect more from you." In that moment I wanted to cry, because I thought I had worked hard that day but I apparently hadn't. My boss handed me a tissue box. "I know retail is hard" she said, giving me a sympathetic look. "But maybe this just isn't a good fit for you." The next week I got scheduled 3 days a week. The week after that I got 2 days. The week after that 1 day per week. The general manger did not like me and wanted me gone. Eventually I did leave and found another job, but I will forever remember being trapped in a cubby by a cold cold woman who I now believe was a psychopath.
I’ve lost count of the disordered number of senior leaders and Execs that I have encountered over the decades. Thank you again for sharing your insights @Psychforsoreminds
I hired a young man who ended up being a nightmare. I learned he was a compulsive liar, but he also fits your description of Mr. E. I had to threaten him with the police to get him to leave my premises. His lies (he used my name to steal) kept coming back to me for years. It was difficult for me to see him objectively, he was so good at manipulation. It remains an awful experience in my memory. Luckily I explained his behavior to friends who alerted me to what was actually going on. Still I could not grasp the whole picture. He was also a victim as a small child.
My brother and I were raised by a narcissistic mom. We are now in our 50s and management of our now 85 year old mom , he and I have been communicating a lot about even the mental and emotional abuse that she inflicts as adults. We have agreed that we both used to be very sensitive and empathetic children but she has turned us into cold adults. We love our immediate family and close friends but have zero interest in another single soul. Living with psychopaths as a child changes who you are. I am astounded at how we don't " feel " the same way people who weren't raised with a horrible upbringing " feel " in society. We feel like aliens moving around on this planet.
Very interesting, I also worked for a psychopath who was the CEO of a national non profit organization who had no formal qualifications and who operated completely outside of legal or ethical lines. This was in Durban South Africa but very similar nonetheless
Love this channel, love your book, really enjoyed the opportunity to talk to you about it last year. I worked for a psychopath as well (many, come to think of it), and I'm careful to use that term without checking the boxes now. He was always calm, always collected, especially when he saw that he'd caused mayhem and discord between others. No empathy, no emotion ever, though he tried, unsuccessfully, to be jovial and funny but it always felt contrived. He'd lie with a straight face in meetings, twisting around previous discussions to the point that many of my colleagues refused to have 1:1 meetings with him. He bullied half the firm relentlessly, creating the most toxic atmosphere and managed to make all of us feel like we were idiots or just a bit odd or, his favourite, weak. When asked why he subsequently said or did things contrary to what was discussed, he never justified or explained. He just gave a sly and slightly creepy half smile and started you down. I raised this with management and HR but the main partner of this law firm was cut from the same cloth. I left. Have to say, as you've explained previously, psychopaths often thrive in the corporate world, and in law especially. I believe it's because many of the qualities that get you to the top are those we consider psychopathic traits. I've got a question though. Based on the childhood story in this episode, what are are early indicators for psychopathy and can it be turned around or curbed at this point?
You have one troll who seems to consistently ticks down every video! Very Informative as ever. Did work with a team leader with both psychopathic & narcissistic personality traits, maybe just below the threshold for a full diagnosis (but sometime not!) Kept my head down - and stayed as was often away out of the office seeing & working with clients. But am so thankful no longer having to tolerate his behaviours (which were more overt than the person you describe). Many felt like this - and once team was "deleted" (nice vicious terminology - typical of Neo-Liberal Capitalism's embrace of austerity) ) - no one kept in touch with him - nor wanted to. It was often an unpleasant working environment, but I enjoyed and was committed to the work so stayed & tolerated for a long period. Many others were fearful of raising grievances for fear of his later reprisals.So glad to be out of that environment.....
Thank you Dr Das...just came across your channel and enjoy the content. Work in a state facility for the criminal!!y insane ...look forward to future topics! . Thanks so much!
Notice 8 down votes? this is just not understandable - but my mind seems to be suggesting racism. Despicable - bur I think quite possible? What do you think Robin?. .
@@tonyburton419 Ignore it. Same might not be a dislike of the video, albeit perhaps something in the contents of the video like for instance, disdain for Psychopaths.
"By default, we are forgiving of others' foibles on account of affective empathy. Until we enter the personal orbit of a psychopath we are oblivious. After this experience we are irrevocably changed. The world's duality manifests more clearly as a darker yet brighter place'. A self-penned quote as my experience of living and working with psychopaths has been life changing. I have worked in acute, forensic and PICU settings for many years and remain incredulous at the lack of clinical acumen when it comes to psychopathy. The PCLr should be a mandatory tool used and understood across all in-patient services rather than solely within medium/ high secure forensic units and the criminal justice system.. Like you, I have worked under a CEO and his assistant in the third sector who I suspect might have been psychopaths. Oh, and at least one RC!
My one big mistake was with a malignant narrcisst ( much later formally diagnosed as such) I was dating after my divorce and thought to part with him. As he seemed to check all the criteria, but my professional curiosity got the better of me. I thought let's linger awhile longer, its only a few months, a bit more time will give more proof if he is such. Yes, there is much more evidence in a few months and much more chaos until I could leave ...I can't believe I was so foolish and curiosity got the better of me, what wasn't I thinking!
I am a psychologist and YES! unfortunately my partner, who was the founder and CEO of his own company hired a chap to secure venture capitol. This guy is a textbook exhibit of corporate psychopathy. Within months he had secured himself as the CEO by manipulating the board in firing my husband for... you guessed it, bullying, lying, self serving. In a classic stroke of evil genius he litigated for deformation each time my husband attempted to defend himself against the accusations. Boy, has this been difficult to watch and endure. Of benefit was my understanding that it was not personal and the ability to somewhat anticipate patterns of behaviour. Im thinking of writing a book about my experience, as many people have been knocked for 6 that this could occur in modern day corporate Australia, and there would be corporate protections and rules. no. If you are a seriously destructive and manipulative person, with the money to hire legal teams - you caudal probably get away with murder. I do believe that early insight is helpful, but escaping with your wig and your sanity from their evil sanctum is probably its own reward!
Your description of the psychopath’s childhood is not unusual, I was often left on my own when young eg 8, and routinely walked several. miles to get home from junior school when 8 or 9 years old. We used to say that a child should be seen and not heard. That was 50 years ago, times change. I have known maybe three sociopaths in my life. The last one was my boss, and the technical director of a small company. I felt so uncomfortable in his presence - he sat 3m away - that I started burping from tension. He took me aside one day, said I was weird, and then started shouting “stop it”. On another occasion he told me off because I would say good morning with too much happiness. He was otherwise very calm, and for a year I thought he was charismatic, most people thought he was. But gradually he became more and more controlling, it was horrible. He regularly put me down in front of colleagues, pretending to know more than I did about the software I was writing, despite my thirty years experience. He learnt his mistake after I left. I did a survey and asked five colleagues if they thought he had empathy, four said no, and if he was self absorbed, four said yes. The fifth said he was a dedicated engineer. I also thought he lacked empathy and was self absorbed. Out of eight staff, four resigned after getting a xmas bonus, Two left, one was persuaded to stay another year on a much higher salary, and one agreed to stay if she could do two days working at home, to recover from the office. Sociopaths and psychopaths are very manipulative, they are incredibly charming when they get their way, but get in their way, and they can turn nasty. I have worked for and alongside countless (hundreds) of people educated privately, including the boss mentioned earlier. The vast majority have strong sociopathic tendancies. These people are at bottom incredibly insecure, and criticism is taken very badly as it is akin to sticking a finger into a fresh wound, and moving it about. I’ve read many descriptions by such people of their school days, and a common factor is learning is create a shell and not show their feelings. A friend married a public school type. I stopped visiting due to his rudeness, and she has lost most of her friends, they hate him, and don’t like his rudeness.
@@APsychForSoreMindswhat if pyschiatrist gave nurses and gaurds pyschiatric medication to use on personality disordered inmates in case to calm them down
Gustavo Fring; a character in "Better Call Saul' seems like a psychopath. He's cool calm and collected. He's charming and intelligent and callous. And then there's Aureliano in "Suburra" just as callous but way more volatile.
I can't say if an old boss of mine was a psychopath or just very perverse and unfair. There was a particular bus I had to catch to go to work, one bus would get me there 25 mins early the other 5 mins late. He was the only one with keys to open up. In the winter it meant standing outside in the cold wind and rain for 25 mins with no shelter if I caught the earlier bus. On a few occasions I caught the later bus and he would call us out in front of the other staff for being late. Some could walk or had cars. This was in the late 70s before the employment laws changed in UK. He would expect us to work unpaid overtime for approx 2 to 3 hours on most nights. I left. Control freak maybe.
Definitely yes and yes as my old profession was a P1 Homelessness and Housing officer, the only one in a small local authority. I took all the m/health, prolific offender and substance misuse cases. Started my career in a homeless direct access hostel. Interestingly, the landlord of my local was an extremely successful psychopath who ran for local M.P.......
I see somebody else has already requested this, but I would like to second an analysis of Donald Trump. He seems to fit the critera for a psychopath and I would love to hear an expert's opinion!
People who gets jobs working in care homes etc, do not have to have qualifications. Would a qualification not be needed as a standard for workers? Controlling managers are a problem. It's the best thing to leave a sinking ship. Managers who manipulate others and surround themselves with 'yes men and women' are not showing respect to their fellow workers. Maybe they are envious and jealous of others because they do not have the same intellectual ability and 'cover up' their inadequacy and mediocre thinking by bullying others to make themselves look good in the face of senior work colleagues.
I also don't seem to feel any emotions. Haven't done for a long time. I've seen a psychiatrist because of what my GP described as "panic attacks", and the psychiatrist diagnosed complex PTSD, panic disorder, recurrent major depression, and OCD. So I've been on antidepressants for a while but still feel no emotions. I don't know how I am when someone asks, or who I am for that matter. I don't feel normal or human. My psychiatrist said I've "dissociated". I don't know what I can do, as I don't even feel happy about things that other people seem to (unless they're pretending to be). I'm so tired of it.
I used to manage small carehomes and staff had to have qualifications or experience and had 6 months to get NVQ etc in 6 months and they were closely monitored
Again thank you Dr Das for the expert explanations. I find that we are surrounded by psychopathic personalities in the workplace, at gym and in the general surrounds of our lives. It is good to learn new tips so that we are able to identify with atypicL two-faced "bulldusters" to whom I collectively refer as "kippers" i.e. kippers the fish, have two faces and no spine 😀 great series.
Though the psychopath presence in your private life is very different matter. As a boss can it be an damaging unescapable nightmare. Likewise in any personal or famial context. The only remedy comes through being able to remove yourself and having no contact. Hopefully recognition off such having a personality disorder comes early enough and your escape from such occurs with the least damaging consequences. I'm a retired social worker.
Sorry that you had that - albeit interesting learning point - strenuous experience with such a boss. Yeah horrible bosses can cause stress that permeates through the rest of one's life. That's a shame that he's still there.
While I recognised the odd psychopath for what he was, I generally had limited interactions besides regarding some request they wanted to have put in for processing. I considered them a "delightful creature" to deal with as they were so polite, calm and easy to deal with by using their charm and not readily aroused to emotions. Much less work than other prisoners if you role limitations meant you didn't need to be overly involved, kept your boundaries, using a benign respectful demeanour. Making clear any decisions for requests were bound by prison regulations or needed to be referred to senior decision.On panels with other prison staff there were times I was amongst those who seemed to recognise those psychopaths who were too risky for unescorted leave while lovely under supervision. There were clues in their language and design of their proposed unescorted leave...
Hello! I just stumbled across your channel and am enjoying your content. Could you clarify for me please, what is the difference between diagnosing someone as a psychopath as opposed to a narcissistic psychopath? What behaviours would differentiate the two? Thank you!
The more talented to you are, the more threat you are to the psychopath. Working harder won’t benefit you. Get out before you and your career are significantly damaged. They will set you up to perpetrate their fraud and will be happy for you to take the fall.
Have i met a psychopath? I think so yes (i'm a lay person though so it's not official). I went to school with someone as a teenager - a girl actually - who wasn't antisocial and was a good student on paper but had psychopathic traits and liked having power over people. She had cognitive but no apparent emotional empathy. She became a therapist... As an adult i had a colleague who did have antisocial traits also slept around a lot, boasted about certain crimes and would say empathic soundbites that sounded wooden and rehearsed. He noticed i was depressed one day and offered to kill me because he wanted to know what it felt like to kill someone.
Would it be fair to say it is cold calculation that drives the psychopath whereas it is emotional and dramatic behaviour that drives the sociopath? Thank you for sharing your expertise with us. 😎
Isn't telling anyone other than law enforcement facts regarding cases kinda like what you accused Dr. Grande of? Being both the patient you mentioned and a former boss?
I work with a sochiopath he told me he is a psychopath so i got scard of him and he knew he started testing if im a psychopath there are test i told him about it becuz i learnd them he tested me me without my consent that made me realiz im a psychopath so i started playing mind games with him he tried to play the game with me but he lost now he knows im way ruthless than him and i realy dont give an f he tried to show me he is angry and calm at the same time that shit was funny i just talked to him like i dont know whats going on or dont even care i owns him and he knows it but now we are friends he has a real criminal past i think he might have even kiled ppl might not sure he likes to think his friends are total psychopaths becuse they stabed ppl in front of him in my opinion if youre a psychopath you wholdent want ppl to see you do any thing bad to any one i dont care if they are criminals or whatever i trust none
Psychopaths like to dress smartly. That reminds me of Jon Ronsons book the psychopath test regarding a patient he interviewed in Broadmoor. Fellow wore a suit unlike his compatriots. Must be the grandiose sense of self worth. Dennis Nilsen always looked abit scruffy though. There's always one!
Worked for a psychopath. No one understands the insanity and danger until they experience it for themselves.
I agree
I was married to one for 20 years I agree sometimes there are not enough words to explain what they do and so hard to tell my story because it sounds so crazy because it is so crazy, even some things he did still hurts my head
I lived with a psychopath, it took me years to work it out as I had never ever come across anyone like this before. He did not have a cut off switch at all, he would give me "talks" on my faults, and how to correct them, for 12 hours straight. He caused me so much misery, understanding what I had lived though took me a decade, I am still single to this day.
Yikes! Thanks for sharing.
I agree. Same xx take care. Freaks you out forever and ruins your trust in anyone. X Take care things improve.
I've never worked with a psychopath - but I personally have many psychopathic traits. I had conduct disorder as a kid and I was a practicing alcoholic from age 12-28. I had a very emotionally abusive dad. I think that I developed the psychopathic traits as a defense mechanism and a psychologist recently suggested that part of my alcohol abuse (I absolutely am an alcoholic though) was to "self medicate" so that the psychopathy didn't quite become the whole of my personality. Even now, 32 years after getting sober I can use my psychopathic traits to manipulate, lie, be grandiose, callous and non-empathetic along with several other behaviors associated with psychopathy - and I can access this almost like flipping a switch. When I got sober I worked really hard in AA and studied Christianity for more than a decade to learn how to be a "more regular person". I had known from at least my early teens that my personality make up was different in many ways from everyone else.
My ex partner is a psychopath, calm, manipulative bad person, im still living with the consequences of his control and my breakdown
I whold never do that to a blonde i like blondes you didnt desreve that
I believe that my mother is a psychopath. She used to torture small animals to death when she was a child and they are fond memories for her, which she shared with me when I was young. I don't think that she tortures animals anymore, but she loves stories about animals and people suffering in the most horrible ways. It excites her. She is just as excited when she describes sexual assaults that her daughters suffered. She abused patients under her care when she was a nursing student and found it hilarious. I haven't ever seen her display genuine empathy for another living creature. When one of her children becomes ill or injured, she acts like a doting concerned mother in front of the doctor, but as soon as we are out of earshot, she is excited about the doctor's reaction to our symptoms. The bigger the reaction, the happier she is.
She told me that I was born premature, at home. She said that she thought that I wasn't going to live. She implied that if I hadn't been able to breastfeed, that she was just going to let me die.
Every child deserves a mother but not every mother deserves a child. I'm sorry you had to go though this, I hope your doing okay
I have a work story.
So I worked in a clothing store one time. It was my second day on the job -I was still "training" btw. (It hadn't even been a week that I was there)
My boss says to me that day "special twice, tomorrow I want you to go in my place to our sister store and greet our general manager. It is VERY important and you CANNOT be late. I would go myself, but I'm very very busy"
I was thrilled at first because I thought "wow, my boss trusts me a lot already! This is great! Maybe if I do well tomorrow, she will trust me more and promote me next year."
And so the next day I go to the other store across town and I meet the general manager.
When I first walked into the store the first thing the general manager said to me was "Wow, your personality is very refreshing! You seem very happy and confident. That's great for customers."
I said "Thank you" and started working, putting clothes on the shelf, helping customers, etc.
Throughout the day tho, I noticed the manager watching me all day.
I felt off about it but was told by a co-worker "she was the bossy type", and very mean/controlling.
Everything had to be perfect and run like a machine.
Anyways, it was 2 hours till my shift was ending, and I thought I was doing well for my third day on the job (which btw my co-worker was shocked it was only my third day, and I later learned you usually need at least one week of training before they can send you to other stores).
I was working hard and helping as best I can. I didn't even take my second break, not that I needed it.
Then the general manager comes up behind me while I'm looking for something in a cubby like area.
"What are you doing?" The general manager asks, her voice sharp like a parent catching a child in the cookie jar.
"I'm grabbing some new sizes for a customer" I said, a bunch of clothes piled in my arms.
She steps closer to me, and I step back into the wall behind me.
"I want you to move faster." she says coldly. "It seems like you aren't working hard enough. Do you even WANT to continue working here?"
With my back against the wall I felt like a mouse cornered by a lion.
"Ye-ess" I managed to squeek out, but she still didn't move.
Then she came even closer, and into my personal space. "After you are done with this customer I want you to go fix that wall of clothes over there."
She pointed to a wall I had already done earlier that day. (I had already fixed it earlier that day. My co-worker even said I had done a good job)
"But I..." I started to say,
But she cut me off with a glare.
"just go do it!" she said and then backed away from me and left, going into the office.
I sighed in huge relief and tried to calm myself from the adrenaline running through my body, which I now realize was fear.
Then I went to go help the customer I was previously helping and then I fixed the wall again.
I said a polite "goodbye" to the gerneral manager at the end of my shift. "It was a pleasure to meet you." I said.
And then I went home.
The next day my boss was not happy and pulled me into the office. "Special twice, the general manager just told me on the phone you had a horrible day yesterday and didn't work very hard. She said she caught you slacking and you took extra minutes on your break. That is unacceptable. I want you to do better from now on. I expect more from you."
In that moment I wanted to cry, because I thought I had worked hard that day but I apparently hadn't. My boss handed me a tissue box.
"I know retail is hard" she said, giving me a sympathetic look. "But maybe this just isn't a good fit for you."
The next week I got scheduled 3 days a week. The week after that I got 2 days. The week after that 1 day per week.
The general manger did not like me and wanted me gone.
Eventually I did leave and found another job, but I will forever remember being trapped in a cubby by a cold cold woman who I now believe was a psychopath.
Interesting story, thanks for sharing!
I’ve lost count of the disordered number of senior leaders and Execs that I have encountered over the decades. Thank you again for sharing your insights @Psychforsoreminds
I hired a young man who ended up being a nightmare. I learned he was a compulsive liar, but he also fits your description of Mr. E. I had to threaten him with the police to get him to leave my premises. His lies (he used my name to steal) kept coming back to me for years. It was difficult for me to see him objectively, he was so good at manipulation. It remains an awful experience in my memory. Luckily I explained his behavior to friends who alerted me to what was actually going on. Still I could not grasp the whole picture. He was also a victim as a small child.
Omg my ex psychopath used to take our kids to the other women’s houses and make them wait somewhere uncomfortable while he did his thing 😮
What. OMG.😵💫😑
@@Twany1954 yes the eldest now 21 and told his story :/
My brother and I were raised by a narcissistic mom. We are now in our 50s and management of our now 85 year old mom , he and I have been communicating a lot about even the mental and emotional abuse that she inflicts as adults. We have agreed that we both used to be very sensitive and empathetic children but she has turned us into cold adults. We love our immediate family and close friends but have zero interest in another single soul. Living with psychopaths as a child changes who you are. I am astounded at how we don't " feel " the same way people who weren't raised with a horrible upbringing " feel " in society. We feel like aliens moving around on this planet.
Very interesting, I also worked for a psychopath who was the CEO of a national non profit organization who had no formal qualifications and who operated completely outside of legal or ethical lines. This was in Durban South Africa but very similar nonetheless
What was your experience of him/her, Sarah?
Interesting Sarah, please describe your experiences.
Love this channel, love your book, really enjoyed the opportunity to talk to you about it last year. I worked for a psychopath as well (many, come to think of it), and I'm careful to use that term without checking the boxes now. He was always calm, always collected, especially when he saw that he'd caused mayhem and discord between others. No empathy, no emotion ever, though he tried, unsuccessfully, to be jovial and funny but it always felt contrived. He'd lie with a straight face in meetings, twisting around previous discussions to the point that many of my colleagues refused to have 1:1 meetings with him. He bullied half the firm relentlessly, creating the most toxic atmosphere and managed to make all of us feel like we were idiots or just a bit odd or, his favourite, weak. When asked why he subsequently said or did things contrary to what was discussed, he never justified or explained. He just gave a sly and slightly creepy half smile and started you down. I raised this with management and HR but the main partner of this law firm was cut from the same cloth. I left. Have to say, as you've explained previously, psychopaths often thrive in the corporate world, and in law especially. I believe it's because many of the qualities that get you to the top are those we consider psychopathic traits. I've got a question though. Based on the childhood story in this episode, what are are early indicators for psychopathy and can it be turned around or curbed at this point?
Always such a great insight into psychiatry. Many thanks 🙏 Dr Das
You have one troll who seems to consistently ticks down every video! Very Informative as ever. Did work with a team leader with both psychopathic & narcissistic personality traits, maybe just below the threshold for a full diagnosis (but sometime not!) Kept my head down - and stayed as was often away out of the office seeing & working with clients. But am so thankful no longer having to tolerate his behaviours (which were more overt than the person you describe). Many felt like this - and once team was "deleted" (nice vicious terminology - typical of Neo-Liberal Capitalism's embrace of austerity) ) - no one kept in touch with him - nor wanted to. It was often an unpleasant working environment, but I enjoyed and was committed to the work so stayed & tolerated for a long period. Many others were fearful of raising grievances for fear of his later reprisals.So glad to be out of that environment.....
Sounds like a nightmare, Tony. Seems like you're better off out of there!
Thank you Dr Das...just came across your channel and enjoy the content. Work in a state facility for the criminal!!y insane ...look forward to future topics! . Thanks so much!
Pleasure, Robin. Welcome and enjoy x
Notice 8 down votes? this is just not understandable - but my mind seems to be suggesting racism. Despicable - bur I think quite possible? What do you think Robin?. .
@@tonyburton419 Ignore it. Same might not be a dislike of the video, albeit perhaps something in the contents of the video like for instance, disdain for Psychopaths.
Lol, as a child of the 70s being left in the car while my parents were in the pub was not unheard of.
"By default, we are forgiving of others' foibles on account of affective empathy. Until we enter the personal orbit of a psychopath we are oblivious. After this experience we are irrevocably changed. The world's duality manifests more clearly as a darker yet brighter place'.
A self-penned quote as my experience of living and working with psychopaths has been life changing.
I have worked in acute, forensic and PICU settings for many years and remain incredulous at the lack of clinical acumen when it comes to psychopathy. The PCLr should be a mandatory tool used and understood across all in-patient services rather than solely within medium/ high secure forensic units and the criminal justice system..
Like you, I have worked under a CEO and his assistant in the third sector who I suspect might have been psychopaths.
Oh, and at least one RC!
This channel is great!
God bless you for doing the job you do. X
I’m enjoying listening to your channel. Thanks for the insights.
You are so welcome
Amazing content and insight as usual
Much appreciated!
I appreciate your teaching format. We are sorely short on psychiatrists in USA
Maybe our election reveals this sad fact.
Keep up the good work!
lol, our elections 😂 no lies detected
6:33 it's called 'kettling'.
I’m sure we’ve all had a boss like Mr E in our time: they cause misery and accomplish nothing. What can be done about them?
My one big mistake was with a malignant narrcisst ( much later formally diagnosed as such) I was dating after my divorce and thought to part with him. As he seemed to check all the criteria, but my professional curiosity got the better of me. I thought let's linger awhile longer, its only a few months, a bit more time will give more proof if he is such. Yes, there is much more evidence in a few months and much more chaos until I could leave ...I can't believe I was so foolish and curiosity got the better of me, what wasn't I thinking!
I am a psychologist and YES! unfortunately my partner, who was the founder and CEO of his own company hired a chap to secure venture capitol. This guy is a textbook exhibit of corporate psychopathy. Within months he had secured himself as the CEO by manipulating the board in firing my husband for... you guessed it, bullying, lying, self serving. In a classic stroke of evil genius he litigated for deformation each time my husband attempted to defend himself against the accusations. Boy, has this been difficult to watch and endure. Of benefit was my understanding that it was not personal and the ability to somewhat anticipate patterns of behaviour. Im thinking of writing a book about my experience, as many people have been knocked for 6 that this could occur in modern day corporate Australia, and there would be corporate protections and rules. no. If you are a seriously destructive and manipulative person, with the money to hire legal teams - you caudal probably get away with murder. I do believe that early insight is helpful, but escaping with your wig and your sanity from their evil sanctum is probably its own reward!
I think anyone who lacks inhibitions can go and do whatever they like. It's soo scarey ,and it happens all the time. Anna Delvy is just one example.
Your description of the psychopath’s childhood is not unusual, I was often left on my own when young eg 8, and routinely walked several. miles to get home from junior school when 8 or 9 years old. We used to say that a child should be seen and not heard. That was 50 years ago, times change.
I have known maybe three sociopaths in my life. The last one was my boss, and the technical director of a small company. I felt so uncomfortable in his presence - he sat 3m away - that I started burping from tension. He took me aside one day, said I was weird, and then started shouting “stop it”. On another occasion he told me off because I would say good morning with too much happiness. He was otherwise very calm, and for a year I thought he was charismatic, most people thought he was. But gradually he became more and more controlling, it was horrible. He regularly put me down in front of colleagues, pretending to know more than I did about the software I was writing, despite my thirty years experience. He learnt his mistake after I left. I did a survey and asked five colleagues if they thought he had empathy, four said no, and if he was self absorbed, four said yes. The fifth said he was a dedicated engineer. I also thought he lacked empathy and was self absorbed. Out of eight staff, four resigned after getting a xmas bonus, Two left, one was persuaded to stay another year on a much higher salary, and one agreed to stay if she could do two days working at home, to recover from the office.
Sociopaths and psychopaths are very manipulative, they are incredibly charming when they get their way, but get in their way, and they can turn nasty. I have worked for and alongside countless (hundreds) of people educated privately, including the boss mentioned earlier. The vast majority have strong sociopathic tendancies. These people are at bottom incredibly insecure, and criticism is taken very badly as it is akin to sticking a finger into a fresh wound, and moving it about. I’ve read many descriptions by such people of their school days, and a common factor is learning is create a shell and not show their feelings. A friend married a public school type. I stopped visiting due to his rudeness, and she has lost most of her friends, they hate him, and don’t like his rudeness.
I’ve just watched your talk with Shaun Attwood
Found your experience and knowledge fascinating
Just subscribed 😁
Welcome aboard! Do me a favour and spread the love by telling everybody you ever meet about this channel. Thanks.
@@APsychForSoreMinds
I’ve already started spreading the word 😁
I too found Dr. Das thru Shawn. He's terrific, so informative.
@@APsychForSoreMindswhat if pyschiatrist gave nurses and gaurds pyschiatric medication to use on personality disordered inmates in case to calm them down
Gustavo Fring; a character in "Better Call Saul' seems like a psychopath. He's cool calm and collected. He's charming and intelligent and callous. And then there's Aureliano in "Suburra" just as callous but way more volatile.
I can't say if an old boss of mine was a psychopath or just very perverse and unfair. There was a particular bus I had to catch to go to work, one bus would get me there 25 mins early the other 5 mins late. He was the only one with keys to open up. In the winter it meant standing outside in the cold wind and rain for 25 mins with no shelter if I caught the earlier bus. On a few occasions I caught the later bus and he would call us out in front of the other staff for being late. Some could walk or had cars. This was in the late 70s before the employment laws changed in UK. He would expect us to work unpaid overtime for approx 2 to 3 hours on most nights. I left. Control freak maybe.
Are you ever so creeped out or disgusted by someone’s energy you simply refuse to work with them ?
Yes.
That's a good question!
Story please 🤗
Definitely yes and yes as my old profession was a P1 Homelessness and Housing officer, the only one in a small local authority. I took all the m/health, prolific offender and substance misuse cases. Started my career in a homeless direct access hostel. Interestingly, the landlord of my local was an extremely successful psychopath who ran for local M.P.......
Definately think my boss had a diagnoseable disorder. PS) I just finished reading your book and loved it 👍
I see somebody else has already requested this, but I would like to second an analysis of Donald Trump. He seems to fit the critera for a psychopath and I would love to hear an expert's opinion!
Yes, they're very good at the slow boiled frog routine, their grooming methods in the workplace are well practiced across environments.
People who gets jobs working in care homes etc, do not have to have qualifications. Would a qualification not be needed as a standard for workers? Controlling managers are a problem. It's the best thing to leave a sinking ship. Managers who manipulate others and surround themselves with 'yes men and women' are not showing respect to their fellow workers. Maybe they are envious and jealous of others because they do not have the same intellectual ability and 'cover up' their inadequacy and mediocre thinking by bullying others to make themselves look good in the face of senior work colleagues.
I also don't seem to feel any emotions. Haven't done for a long time. I've seen a psychiatrist because of what my GP described as "panic attacks", and the psychiatrist diagnosed complex PTSD, panic disorder, recurrent major depression, and OCD. So I've been on antidepressants for a while but still feel no emotions. I don't know how I am when someone asks, or who I am for that matter. I don't feel normal or human. My psychiatrist said I've "dissociated". I don't know what I can do, as I don't even feel happy about things that other people seem to (unless they're pretending to be). I'm so tired of it.
I used to manage small carehomes and staff had to have qualifications or experience and had 6 months to get NVQ etc in 6 months and they were closely monitored
Is it bad that I don’t feel bad about the security guard?
Again thank you Dr Das for the expert explanations. I find that we are surrounded by psychopathic personalities in the workplace, at gym and in the general surrounds of our lives. It is good to learn new tips so that we are able to identify with atypicL two-faced "bulldusters" to whom I collectively refer as "kippers" i.e. kippers the fish, have two faces and no spine 😀 great series.
Hahaha they actually have a spine made of lead and kryptonite! It's the rest of us that lack spine in my humble opinion. 😢
Though the psychopath presence in your private life is very different matter. As a boss can it be an damaging unescapable nightmare. Likewise in any personal or famial context. The only remedy comes through being able to remove yourself and having no contact. Hopefully recognition off such having a personality disorder comes early enough and your escape from such occurs with the least damaging consequences. I'm a retired social worker.
Sorry that you had that - albeit interesting learning point - strenuous experience with such a boss. Yeah horrible bosses can cause stress that permeates through the rest of one's life. That's a shame that he's still there.
Psych studies always fascinated me. I watched the movie Clinical and decided to shift gears on my career path. Have you seen it??
While I recognised the odd psychopath for what he was, I generally had limited interactions besides regarding some request they wanted to have put in for processing. I considered them a "delightful creature" to deal with as they were so polite, calm and easy to deal with by using their charm and not readily aroused to emotions. Much less work than other prisoners if you role limitations meant you didn't need to be overly involved, kept your boundaries, using a benign respectful demeanour. Making clear any decisions for requests were bound by prison regulations or needed to be referred to senior decision.On panels with other prison staff there were times I was amongst those who seemed to recognise those psychopaths who were too risky for unescorted leave while lovely under supervision. There were clues in their language and design of their proposed unescorted leave...
Hello! I just stumbled across your channel and am enjoying your content. Could you clarify for me please, what is the difference between diagnosing someone as a psychopath as opposed to a narcissistic psychopath? What behaviours would differentiate the two? Thank you!
I've got a video on this exact topic elsewhere on the channel. Search for it and you will find the truth you seek, wary traveller.
@@APsychForSoreMinds Found it! Thank you. No weary ones here, just us curious ones!
The more talented to you are, the more threat you are to the psychopath. Working harder won’t benefit you. Get out before you and your career are significantly damaged. They will set you up to perpetrate their fraud and will be happy for you to take the fall.
Have i met a psychopath? I think so yes (i'm a lay person though so it's not official).
I went to school with someone as a teenager - a girl actually - who wasn't antisocial and was a good student on paper but had psychopathic traits and liked having power over people. She had cognitive but no apparent emotional empathy. She became a therapist...
As an adult i had a colleague who did have antisocial traits also slept around a lot, boasted about certain crimes and would say empathic soundbites that sounded wooden and rehearsed. He noticed i was depressed one day and offered to kill me because he wanted to know what it felt like to kill someone.
Would it be fair to say it is cold calculation that drives the psychopath whereas it is emotional and dramatic behaviour that drives the sociopath? Thank you for sharing your expertise with us. 😎
Isn't telling anyone other than law enforcement facts regarding cases kinda like what you accused Dr. Grande of? Being both the patient you mentioned and a former boss?
"Let him go or kill him." Luckily he did the latter? But the latter is killing, not letting him go... right?
I work with a sochiopath he told me he is a psychopath so i got scard of him and he knew he started testing if im a psychopath there are test i told him about it becuz i learnd them he tested me me without my consent that made me realiz im a psychopath so i started playing mind games with him he tried to play the game with me but he lost now he knows im way ruthless than him and i realy dont give an f he tried to show me he is angry and calm at the same time that shit was funny i just talked to him like i dont know whats going on or dont even care i owns him and he knows it but now we are friends he has a real criminal past i think he might have even kiled ppl might not sure he likes to think his friends are total psychopaths becuse they stabed ppl in front of him in my opinion if youre a psychopath you wholdent want ppl to see you do any thing bad to any one i dont care if they are criminals or whatever i trust none
Can you explain what Donald trump is and if his wife is the same or just following along?.....
Psychopaths like to dress smartly. That reminds me of Jon Ronsons book the psychopath test regarding a patient he interviewed in Broadmoor. Fellow wore a suit unlike his compatriots. Must be the grandiose sense of self worth. Dennis Nilsen always looked abit scruffy though. There's always one!
Can I become your patient without committing a crime ?
Bet you he did! Master manipulater.