Dear whoever is reading this; I love you, and I wish I could’ve been there to protect you. Take good care of yourself: stay hydrated, eat something, brush your teeth, go outside and see the sun again. I know it's hard, but I believe in you. I'll say it again, I b e l i e v e in you. It's so disgusting what some of us had to go through. If you ever feel like no one cares about you, remember me. I love you, I believe in you, I care about you. I want to see you recover from your trauma. I want to see you happy again. I want to see your beautiful smile. You deserve to be happy. 🫂 - Someone who loves you
thanks i was genuinely thinking about ****** myself tonight, nobody understands me and they treat me like im crazy, i have mental illnesses and they don't wanna help me, i can't do this anymore but at least it stopped.. well that.
@@mar420.74 I’m very sorry to hear that. You don’t deserve to be treated that way and I hope you can get the help you need :( if you ever need someone to talk to I’ll always be here for you
You may not know where those feelings come from, but there is ALWAYS a reason for them,they always stem from something. It will get better, then worse, then better again❤️
i only have one thing to say to all those men. i was a 8 year old girl. i was a CHILD. and i still am. thank you for listening to my TED talk. love from the bluebell system.
As a kid, I had a best friend on yt and Roblox, her name was Riley, she was 11, I was 10, she was being abused constantly, we'd use live streams to call so sometimes I'd hear it. It was scary. 2 years ago, when I was 12, I saw her commit svicide on one of those like streams. Idk if I can do this anymore but her family blames me and wants me de4d ♥
Oh my... I'm so sorry to hear this. It wasn't your fault, you were so young, there was nothing you could do. But you were always there for her and that made you a good friend. 🫂 I hope you are ok, you're important. You're loved and important, and I hope Riley is resting well. :( Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?? If you need, I can list some healthy coping mechanisms to use!
vent!! (mention of suicide and anorexia) I hate feeling weak. i hate the feeling of someone looking down to me and making feel smaller then I already do. when I was 13, I wrote a suicide note and started planning just so I didn't have to worry about my future as I knew it was going to be the worst. i've always been the walkover kid. I was quiet and didn't know how to socialise well which lead to me being an easy target for bullies. I remember someone telling me that if I hated myself so much to just commit already. I had enough and wanted to "fix" myself so others liked me. I became anorexic. I was obsessed with wanting people to see me as this amazing girl who was perfect and beautiful, who had lots of friends. the worst part being that my parents and siblings don't help. they call me names such as "fatty" when I ask for seconds. all I ever wanted was to just be the happy girl I used to be.
Are you okay? I'm sorry you've had to go through so much pain. Remember that you're never truly alone, we're here for you and you deserve to be there for yourself too ❤
That sounds absolutely horrible. I used to be a walkover kid, and I dunno if this was repressed or anything, but my parents told me that when I used to use the bus to actually get to school, these older kids told me that my parents were going to be chopped up when I got home, and much, *much* more. It got so bad that I had to leave the bus program. I’m super sorry if this sounds like I’m completely ignoring your situation, but I’m neurodivergent, and it’s a bit hard for me to understand without linking others’ situations and experiences with my own. Just know that I’m here for you, and I and many others will be here for you if you need to talk. ❤
Vent. TW : SA (lol everyone minimizes my trauma so I have a lot of bottled up emotions) My childhood was not bad per se, it was a mixture of bad and good... maybe? On the first hand, I have wonderful parents who loved me and covered all my needs, sometimes they called me useless and stuff but that was only because they got angry, that added to the bullying I received at school lowered my self-esteem a lot. And then there was..."him". I don't even want to say that it is a member of my family, I just want to remember that it is "him". Since I was 4 years old he groomed me and touched me quite a few times, and sometimes he made me give him 0ral s3x, he always said that it was ok and it was just a game, but when I was around 7-8 years old I already knew that It wasn't a game, but thanks to his abuse I became hypersexual and addicted to it, I feel sick just thinking about it. The fact that my self-esteem was so miserable made me look for it just to make myself feel important and worthy, I even saw it as an achievement that someone yearned for me in some way. At the age of 8 he went from touching me to having actual sex, and everything continued until I was 11 years old, only then was I able to get away from him and continue my life, since I had my period and he was afraid that I would get pregnant. At first he looked so... normal. I felt numb and did not see how serious everything that happened was. But now that I'm 15 years old and I analyze everything... it's as if a bomb exploded inside of me and it started to consume me, I told my mom, but I didn't explain much because of the disgust and shame I feel. If only fate hadn't been such a bastard and I didn't been bullied, maybe I would have seen how bad it was...? Perhaps I would have noticed that all this was not correct? I don't know what to do anymore, seriously, I don't know what to do.
don't ever feel you or what you went through isnt valid. you deserve help and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I'm very sorry to hear you went through that, that's horrible.. you really deserved better. I'm sorry if this is a personal question or if i shouldnt be asking but are you getting therapy? also, there are many coping mechanisms you can use to cope! and also, when you need to cry, dont hold it in. its important to get these emotional out. I'm glad you felt comfortable to vent here and got some stuff out, but i hope you can possibly get some therapy? and try some coping mechanisms if youd like? you can: draw, write, sing, character design, edit, and more. and again, dont feel you and what you wen through isnt valid, you are important and loved. feel better soon ❤️
you deserved a good child, i hope that man winded up behind bars! you dont deserve to be like this, dont let people get to you, no matter what! i am so sorry for you, i hope you're doing okay right now
Hey, I know that what you went through really hurts but just know that you matter and are loved. You may not feel like you are but you are. You're also valued by those who care about you. This thing ruined your life for selfish desire. People like that are what ruin society. It's not your fault you didn't know any better you were a child. You finally felt useful for once. But just know that you'll always be useful and loved and cared about and valued by everyone you love and who loves you. I know words don't mean much but still wanted you to know
I was groomed online, I was a child when my dad hired a pedo that he sometimes brought over to our house....bet you know what happened when he came over, I struggle with suicidal thoughts and depression since 12, and was in so much pain that I developed a delusion so bad that I wasn't me anymore but characters I admired because I just wanted to be anywhere but home and anyone but me, I grew up as a Jehovah's witness while being trans and bisexual and always had a fear of getting abandoned by my family, I took care of my younger siblings because my parents were barely there. I was their parent, not them. I just wanted to be a kid.
Vent (Please don't say negative things i am easily disturbed right now because of this) All i wanted was to play, why would you do that?, i was just a little girl on the swings, all i wanted to do is talk, now i have a hole on my heart that makes my insides feel horrible, i lost all my inocence that day, i just wanted to play! i was so inocent... So inocent... I was a little lamb that needed to be protected from the wolf, you where the wolf and i was just a kid with lots of imagination and a naughty liar... (What happened is that i got violated when i was playing in the park, because i was wearing a dress and when i played in the swing you could see what was behind my dress and a ped0 was looking at me that was my older cousin and got violated sadly, i was only 5 when this happened and i had a lamb plush, yeah i was a little lamb just as my plushie...)
Are you ok? :( I'm sorry you went through that, just know you're a beautiful person and u deserve happiness and i hope you have a great day! If you need i could list some healthy coping mechanisms for you to use? I really hope you're ok. :( ❤️
even if this comment was 6 months ago, this is still something serious. And I just want to say that I really hope he gets locked away because that is absolutely disgusting, and I know you might not get over it, but I really hope that never happens again and that you eventually recover from it. I might be a random person, but I genuinely care about you and your safety as well as your well being, mental, and physical health. And if you feel like venting to a random person on the internet, I'm here for you. Even if you just want to have simple conversations, I'm here for that too, whether your happy or sad or maybe mad, I'll be here to listen
I once had a friend who is abused by her parents and her brothers , plus my friend is the youngest child . It hurts my heart everytime whenever she tells me about it because she is like a little sister to me , I honestly feel bad about what she's going through and I couldn't do anything since we're just children . I really wished that I could help her. :((
@@oliesplaylistschannel No , we couldn't because it will just cause more problems . We are graduating in July , thankfully we both have the same school to go once we graduate :)
@ू๑ ‧ º · ˚ . M x n t _ C h a n . ू๑ ‧ º · ˚ I hope she will be ok. And don't feel guilty, it's not your fault. Just make sure you let her know how much you care and always be there for her. 🫂
@@oliesplaylistschannel But she is still not okay . I am actually happy that she could find a true friend. (All of her friends leaves her just because of her personality , but I think I like her true self ^^.) I promised to her that I will never leave her side , even when we both are in different paths . (I just want her to be with me all the time so she could never hear any scolding , offensive words , and others.)
I don’t got any serious or recent trauma I feel sad for everyone in the comment section dealing with things that no person should. Keep your head up it’s not your fault. Don’t allow one stupid person to ruin the rest of your life. Don’t let them have that power over you.
Vent I never really had a traumatic childhood, but i remember dating a 17 year old when i was 8, introduced me to the hub and i got hypersexual at a young age, i got online groomed when i was 11, since i was liking the idea of okder men dating me, which was wrong but its bexuase i get influenced easily witht he book lolita and got introduced to omegle and i had a big obsession with it, i got blackmailed by a 38 yr old telling me that i shouldnt tell anyone since hed leak my pictures on groups, i got scared for dear life and planned a suicide that night, but it didnt go as planned so i i hoped and prayed to god he wouldnt, i still was obsessed so to heal it i wore revealing clothing just to attract anyone who could just love me, i attracted a few pedophiles in my area but i couldnt get out with my fear, became a bit distant and off minded, i think i was trying to really kill myself, i got a bit sad, i resorted to sh and got caught in march, my family scolded me for it and i got thrown into the dark pits of my mind, it took 3 months of me not trying to kms each day but eventually halfway-healed, im still a bit suicidal but its only on parts where i would think i did something wrong and yea.
you're a beautiful and strong person. you're loved, i'm sorry that happened, there are a lot of bad people online.. but i'm glad you're better. keep going, you're doing great, 🫂 ❤️
Don't give up. That's so sad and unfair... But im here for you. and you've come so far, so dont end it all now. You are loved, and if it doesnt think so, just know that I love you ❤ And God is with you ❤❤ If you need help with anything, you can tell me and ill listen and try to help you. Praying for you. Hope you recover ❤❤
no hate comments please. feel free to vent and/or comfort other people who have vented, just make sure you treat them with respect and don't invalidate them. i love all of you. please, keep fighting. you're beautiful people. sending hugs!! 🫂 also omg this is getting sm attention, ty guys sm 😭 i didn't expect to get this mich attention but i'm not complaining at all, tysm really 🤧🤧💕
People are usually pretty supportive in these types of playlist, idk if ive seen anyone be mean mostly people just finding a safe place down here, so im sure it fine
He did ruin me. He made me hypersexual the way he did it to me before i even hit puberty. It still hurts me that nobody believed me until years later. He has no idea what it's like to suppress sexual desires at the age of EIGHT GODDAM YEARS OLD.
(vent) My class teacher seems to dislike my mom since she is a little ‘different’ from the others in my country, then my class teacher make the whole grade isolate me for 3 years. They think I have virus, they think I will infect them, nobody wants to touch me, they left me in the corner, they hit me with water bottles and made my left wrist’s bone crack, I don’t know what did I do wrong, I was 8 and is already suicidal. I am 14 now.
I'm really sorry.. thats awful, you didn't deserve that! please, dont harm yourself in any way! are you ok?? have you talked to your guardians to get help?
TW// Mention of abuse (I guess), drugs, alcohol and things like that :') I lived my whole childhood in pure chaos, my dad was a drug addict, my step mom was an alcoholic and a drug addict as well, and my mom was depressed, so she couldn't take care of me correctly during most of my childhood. I think the worse was when I lived with my father, the mental abuse, the humiliation, my step sister forced me to take drugs and to drink alcohol when I was 10/11, I cried every night, hoping that I would d!e in my sleep, or that someone would take me away from my dad's house. My dad was never here for me, he would just watch me while my step mom humiliated and insulted me, she would basically restrain me from eating for a couple of days and he did nothing. When I needed reassurance and affection, he would just ignore me, he was high all the time, I couldn't even talk to him, he would just ignore me. I felt so empty all these years when I lived with my father, and I couldn't even leave him to go and see my mother, my step mom would always say "no" whenever I asked if I could see my mother, and I remember one time, I leaved the house in the middle of the night, I was crying and I called my mother to ask her to come and get me. I don't remember anything good that happened to me while I lived with my father, and with my mother, even though she was depressed and she couldn't take care of me correctly and all, well everything was alright. I haven't seen my father in years, and I've never been this happier, my mom is feeling much better and I am too, when I got back from my dad's house, I wouldn't eat at all, and when I did it was like, a few snacks but it was never a true meal and it wasn't that often, like- really not, and I didn't talked, until like, two years ago, when I finally began to express myself a bit more, to eat a bit more as well and y'know, I was recovering :)) Sorry if I made any faults, I'm French and my English is.. pretty bad- And sorry if any of the subjects I mentioned triggered you, that wasn't the point. I just needed to vent a bit. (And I'm sorry if my comment is a bit unorganized or smth like that-)
this is awful, I'm very sorry you had to go through this. I'm very glad you are doing better now! and no need to apologize, I'm glad you could get this stuff out, I'm glad to try and help! I'm not the best at comforting but I'm very sorry you went through that, but its good that things are better now! you're important, you're loved ❤️ dont feel bad venting, its good to get emotions out !
So glad you're doing better now! that whole situation sounds awful, but you've made it this far so don't give up yet. Feel free to tell me anything and I can try to help ❤ I love you as a friend -stranger (aka me)
I have been abused my whole childhood, still do. I was physically abused at around 5-8 but when i was 9-12 it became mainly verbal abuse. Someone told me that bottling up your feelings majes your memory bad, i guess that makes alot of sense I cant remember my childhood all that much but i remember alittle bit, like me screaming very loudly when my mum hit me, my sisters, and dad used to also, my sisters still do I remember going to a hospital cuz i got very ill and almost got me killed and i refused to eat i only drank water and ate small Belgium walfes and after i got out of the hospital my mum congratulated me on getting skinner
oh jeez... I'm so sorry.. that is so messed up you shouldn't have been abused like that, and the fact your mom congratulated you on getting skinnier is so terrible... that honestly is terrible, I'm so sorry. are you ok now? are you getting help??? please hang on, you're important and loved! and if you're not getting help please try to reach out to someone. your feelings are very important and it is indeed unhealthy to bottle them up. journaling and other healthy coping mechanisms work ! like drawing, writing, journaling, and there's a lot more that you can do to make you feel better that is healthy!! I hope you will be ok. ❤
it wasn't your fault! he shouldn't have done that to you, you were a child. that is so messed up and terrible. I am seriously so sorry... I know it might be scary and it's up to you rather you tell your parents or not but please try to tell them and try to reach out for help. you deserve to be seen and helped. you're a very strong and good person, please don't forget that. it wasn't your fault I promise. it was his. you didn't deserve that. I hope you will be able to get help and have a great future, you deserve a happy life. ❤️
i had a ex that would abuse (mentally and sometimes physically) me and sexualized me. he was my groomer and i started selfharm bc of him. he violated me and its hard telling people, he made me feel like i was only good for my body. a couple years later my old music teacher would touch me weirdly and be overall a pred. i sometimes sexualize myself and i feel so disgusted and feel guilty.
its not your fault. you didn't deserve to go through that, they were terrible people. please try to seak help if you can. i hope you will be ok!! you deserve help! youre an important person and you're loved. ❤️
0:00 - 3:14 Cigarettes out the window - TV girl 3:14 - 5:49 URL crush - dontleaveme 5:53 - 9:06 I wouldn't mind dying with you - Longlost 9:09 - 10:34 Enstranger - Jack Stauber 10:38 - 14:10 Fear - Current joys
Hey guys. I just wanted to apologize, I know I've been replying to comments and trying to comfort people and believe me I care about all of you and want to comfort you but I've been going through a lot myself. My mental state is getting way worse again and I've been kinda busy lately and unmotivated, I hope all of you are doing well and I love you all. Again, I'm sorry. I don't want any of you thinking I don't care because I truly do care I just need to get better and get through this year. This is my last year of school and I really need to try and get better and focus on graduating. Take care of yourselves and remember you are loved and important and keep fighting. Hope you feel better soon love you guys
⚠️vent⚠️ I've lived with my grandmother since i could remember. When i was around 7 or 8 my half brother touched me on my breastsband butt. Not much but enough to cause some trauma. When he finally was caught my nana didn't do much except scold and ground him since it wasnt that much. (This is actually the first time i thought this in depth about it 😅) we stull hangout and stuff but i still dont feel too comfortable being turned around completely from him since hed slap my butt. Its been a few years and since then my grandma has gotten worse in health. Shes 91 and im 14, I have to help take care if her since my papa now has cancer. I feel like im taking care of a child at times and its making me feel tired and trapped for so long now. Back in September of 2021 my mom died. I was never realky that close to her since i lived apart from her, we planned to meet up but she died before we could. A year later in 2022 technoblade died. A few months ago my dad died. He was paralyzed and so he started to do drugs because if it. He got low and started living with me and my grandmother for a while. I helped take care of him aswell since he was paralyzed. Right before a FFA trip i tried to wake him up but at the time we thought he took to many pills so he passed out. Later that day when i left for the three day trip, my family found him dead in his wheelchair. I got back two days later and they told me. The last time i saw him was trying to wake him up in his wheelchair, thinking back there was so many things i wished i did with him but just didn't. Thank you for reading this😊. Sorry it was all over the place, i couldn't write in a good way to describe everything.
man, that is terrible that he did that to you, even if you don't think it's much, it can most definitely still affect you. I'm sorry you have to still be around him, and I'm sorry about the rest of your family and the losses and that you have to take care of them please try to seek help, even if you don't feel you need it. it's important that you get the help you need and deserve. I really hope you can get help and heal! (I'm not that great at comforting, but you're a amazing and strong person and you matter!)
By the time i was 10, i started getting verbally and mentally abused by my sister. She would yell at me, calling me useless, a waste of all things, and so so much more. It lead to depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, body image issues, sh. I only recently stopped sh, at the age of 14. My self esteem is still horrible, and so is my anxiety and body issues, but my depression is getting better. She still verbally abuses me, but not as much. I think she got tired of me not responding. Thank you for this playlist man.
OK wow, this playlist got so much attention and I just wanted to thank you guys... I am just so glad that I have been able to provide a place where people feel comfortable and safe, I honestly wasn't expecting all this attention but I'm really glad people enjoy this playlist and feel safe here! Also, friendly reminder to take care of yourself! Drink plenty of water, go outside and get some fresh air, spend quality time with your loved ones, find and use healthy coping mechanisms that help you, and I just want to say this: never invalidate yourself!! I know trauma survivor's tend to invalidate themselves and it's terrible, I want you guys to know you're important and your feelings **are** valid! For those who (like me) say to yourself "Oh others have it worse" or anything like that, everyone out there always has it worse, HOWEVER, thar doesn't make your journey and feelings and whatever you're going through any less important, make sure to reach out to someone, get help, love yourself, try to understand yourself and your feelings and take care of yourself! I love you guys and I'm wishing the best for you all!! ❤❤ ((Edit:) Btw uhh... i had full intentions to respond to all the vent comments but wow... there are *alot*... so uhmm.... sorry if i dont get to yours!! I care about all of you and i may come back again and try to respond but wow...w o w.... i had to idea there were as many as there are.... 😶😶.. so please don't take it personally if i didnt get around to responding to yours, like i said, i truly care abour all of you but wow... there's.... alot.....
I met someone when I was 9, and I loved them ad a really good friend, they had me meet their other 'friends', they all hated me for some reason, started drama, made my life a living hell, but I took it because I didn't wanna upset Them, when I finally tried to set my boundaries, I was apparently in the wrong and They did nothing to help. Finally I turned 11- and everything went down hill. I got bullied, my friend I hat since I was 5 started avoiding me, and my friendship with them started falling out. I developed terrible anxiety and I was(am) basically obsessed with getting Their approval, because I let them control my life, if they hate me or leave me, I will die, no second thought. I have come so close to losing them, I lost myself in the process. I used to be hyper, happy, silly, didn't really mind the drama. Now I'm Over protective, Sensitive, Fearful, anxious, and I'm terrified of the person/people who have started the drama. Yet, I still stick around and keep myself alive for Them, even though They try not to pay attention to me when they don't want to/don't need to.
I read this and honestly it made me feel sick that they did this to you... I want to let you know that you deserve **true** friends; true friends care about each other's boundaries and respect each other, if your friends are failing to do this, they aren't true friends and you don't deserve them; you deserve BETTER. I know that it's hard and I understand that it has seriously affected you but I really want you to know you're NOT in the wrong but THEY are... please, stand up for yourself, care for yourself, if these "friends' cannot respect you than they aren't worth your time. Try to find other friends that actually respect you, because that's what you deserve, good people in your life who will love and support you!! Remember that your feelings are valid and you should only be surrounded by people who care for you. I believe in you! Don't let these people hurt you... take care of yourself 🫂❤❤
my abusr recently passed, i miss her but i also dont, the amount of shame i felt around her was disgusting, its like a weight has been lifted but i feel so guilty abt it ໒꒰ྀི ◞ ◟꒱ྀིა
are you getting help ? therapy can help and also healthy coping mechanisms such a as journaling/writing, drawing, singing, games, edits, etc. you shouldn't feel guilty, it wasn't you're fault. you are important. I hope you get better!!
I think my past and current trauma are constantly affecting me, I was a kid, and a stranger did that, a stranger which no one protected me from, if my grandma and grandpa would have just taken 4 steps in the story would've been prettier for me, and I'm probably just another number, he's still out there, he could be preying on other children, and that terrifies me
I'm really really sorry you had to go through that. if you aren't getting help, please, try to seek help. if your guardians aren't doing anything talk to your school counselor. please, don't end your life. you deserve to get help and be happy. and don't feel bad for venting! it's good to get these emotions out. this is truly awful to know you had to go through that. some healthy coping mechanisms are journaling, drawing, writing, editing, games, singing, etc. and just know you can vent through these coping mechanisms and get your feelings out that way, just as long as you're not harming yourself in real life, you can vent through these coping mechanisms just don't harm yourself please. hope you will be ok!
⚠small vent (maybe...?)⚠ when i was young i lost my friend to suic*de and had secondhand truama because we had plans for the future, one day while i was listening to this song during an all nighter, i fell asleep, and i remember seeing her face again and she said "i love you, and no matter what willow, never forget that, even if it means to kill" and then i woke up, in tears, crying back to sleep because it was 3:00 in the morning, i hope you are doing well in heaven clover ♥ edit: i got secondhand emotional and mental trauma, while her friends from her nextdoor apartment building got the worse because they knew her all her life, her mother was neglectful to her and her english teacher did SICKENING THINGS to her
That's horrible. Reading this made me literally tear up... this is horrible and I'm so very sorry you all had to go through this... Are you getting help? Please take care of yourself. Your friend is still with you I'm sure and they are so proud of you for being so strong... Just know that it is okay to feel sad and cry whenever you need to but healing is also important. It will always hurt, but if you get help, it'll get easier. I hope you and all those who lost them are doing ok! Sending hugs 🫂🫂🫂❤❤
My whole life.. has been traumatic. My parents keep fighting, and my dad just wants sex. So that’s why they make up. It haunts me. Hearing about their trauma and them getting violent at times. To change the subject, my biggest comfort person died last year.. and I’ve been watching his content to not think about it. It feels like he’s still here. I’m sure he’s in heaven, doing 1v1’s with god and having a grand time. Everything’s fine. Right? Everything is fine
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. it's terrible to go through things like that, but i hope you will be ok. please keep fighting and remain strong! you're doing great, you're important don't forget that ❤️
Growing up, ive always delt with a cats death. My "friend" told me, "its just a cat. Grow up. Its not that big of a deal. Suck it up" every time i told them that a cat has passed away. Along with my parents. They told me i can rarley do the things i loved to do anymore because im a teenager. Only a couple of people cared. No one really cared. No one wanted to talk to me and help with the suicidal thoughts in my head. Not even the councilor in my high school. Being the way that i am today makes me feel like i am never getting anywhere with my life. But somethings make me want to live and enjoy that moment. I constantly write in a diary in russian that no one knows about bc they don speak it. So it helps me get away with it and not to just simply write it in something that they understand.
It is so sad to hear how many people went trought the same thing, and one of these was me (Vi0lat10n caused by older cousin, my age in that time was 5, and he was 17, i am currently 10 and he is in jail because of ped0ph1l3 and v1ol4t10n)
Hope you're doing ok. I'm very sorry to hear that. Here are some healthy coping mechanisms you can use: Drawing, singing, writing, writing poetry, writing stories, doing things that can keep you calm (example: listening to calming music), thinking about positive things about yourself, and if you need anymore I'm sure you could look up more on Google. And remember, it's ok to cry sometimes, we all cry and it's hard to heal from such tragic events, just know that there are people who are here for you and care about you. ❤️
"boys will be boys" "Well what were you wearing?" "You should've said something" "I know him. he would never do that. YOU must've done something to make him do that" These are all things I was told in 6th grade. And that wasn't even the first time I was touched against my will. 3rd grade, a boy asked me to be his valentine. I said no. He asked over and over again, and at one point he was on his knees sobbing. I finally said yes, even though I hated him. I just felt bad for him. the whole rest of the day, he would look up my skirt, touch me even when I told him not to, and he tried to kiss me. I slapped him, and he hated me for the rest of the year, which I didn't mind. But that doesn't change what happened. Same year, a few months later, my crush took notice to me. He started making s3x jokes to me, hugging me, and being really nice to me. I thought this was a good thing. One time, he actually asked me to.. I don't even want to say it. I declined his offer, and he screamed at me. I blamed myself. If i'd only done what he'd asked, I told myself. A few days after that, he touched me. a lot. I was stupid. I thought It was a good thing. I still haven't told anyone this, six years later. Most recently, in 6th grade, I was violated daily, and no one did anything about it, even blaming me, because this boy was "so sweet". He couldn't have possibly done something like that, especially not every day, right? well he did. I yelled at him when he tried to continue it into 7th grade, and everyone was mad at me. All I did was exist. I'm only 14 and I've already been Violated 3 times, the third time happening every day for a full year.
I hate the fact that sometimes I don’t know if some things that happened to me in the past were even bad enough to be traumatic or if I’m just being dramatic.
I went to the desc like you said, read it and checked the timestamps. I saw "fear" and I got hyped up immediately skipped to it and I read "Currentjoys" I literally went "YESSS"
Tw: derealisation, self hate Im stuck in the past. I don’t really think I’ll ever get out, I hate who I was before- but I can’t let it go. It all feels fake. Im so stupid. Im just burdening whoever is unfortunate enough to read this i should just suck it up, even if it all feels like a really bad fever dream. anyways, creator how are you doing? your comforting everyone but how r u urself! I’m not trying to be pressuring btw, jst hpe ur alr 🫶🏼
ah man, yeah, thinking about the past can very much hurt, and I believe you may be experiencing disassociation. if you have someone helping you, please tell them about this, if not I think you should definitely tell someone. i honestly regret things I've done in the past as well and i always get so uncomfortable thinking about who I used to be and can't seem to forgive myself, but like everyone always tells me, what matters is I'm better and I'm a different person. who we are and who we were , are definitely different people. I really hope whatever it is you're going through you can get better! and don't feel like a burden or that you need to "suck it up", it's very unhealthy to bottle up your emotions, please try to talk to someone! also tysm for asking, that made me really happy :,0 I'm doing ok! and you're not pressuring me at all, dw! ^^ it's very kind of u to ask
Vent TW/// s•h ideation & s*a When I was 5 I was unfortunately sexu*lly assaulted by my biological father. I refused to say anything until this year when I brought it up to my mom, since it was years ago not much can be done. I still remembered what happened that night, and now teachers are asking me about a childhood I don’t have, or giving me assignments that I can’t answer. I feel like I can’t say anything…I don’t want to upset anyone with my problems, so I keep them inside. I can’t tell my partner either. It’s just too loud inside my scrambled head. I don’t know what to do. I want to release my pain in the best way I know how…even if it means I get hurt in the process…but I would disappoint if I did that…it hurts
please don't feel like a burden, you're important and your feelings matter and the people who love you want to be there for you, don't be scared to vent when you need to. bottling up emotions is unhealthy. there are people who love and care about you and they will always be there for you no matter what. i hope you will be okay, I'm really sorry that happened. but just know you're a strong and important person. please stay safe!
I've always wanted to be able to have a normal childhood. Too bad that didn't happen 7 years ago. Instead, I endured one of the worst years of my life. I was stuck with my father, who ab*sed me verbally and physically. Maybe if I was able to have a normal childhood, then I wouldn't be so hard on myself to be the protector, the role model, and act my age for the sake of my younger siblings. Hopefully, this'll blow over soon in a way, and I'll be able to live normally without having to deal with this trauma.
Trauma can have a horrible affect on people, especially childhood trauma because we are still developing and things like that usually don't just go away by itself, it can affect you and even affect you as an adult! ( I'm hoping I'm not sounding rude I'm sorry if I am!) But, please, try to reach out to someone and get help. It's important to be there for yourself. Talk to someone you trust (an adult figure since they're the only ones who can really do anything) and make them aware of how you're feeling and that you need help. Hope you'll be OK and be able to get help!! 🫂
Looking at everyone comments is crazy i mean it kinda makes me realize how little my truama was, i mean i was neglected and mentally abused by my father for seventeen years and he just left with me now turning eighteen and he choose to have another family :(
your trauma isn’t little. everyone goes through different things, but at the end of the day you’re still affected by it. im so sorry about your father, but im happy for you that he left, (hopefully) you’re safe now. him leaving shows that he wasn’t meant to be part of your life, but you will find someone who is, who will help you through all of it. give yourself some peace of mind
@@patrickbatemanscard tysm this is so sweet 😭 yeah I still can't believe I'm turning eighteen this year, and I survived this long and ilyt/p this means so much to me that you took the time to reply something as nice as this🩷
I have a deep fear of kids my age. I used to live in a big city and couldn’t go to the park without being bullied. So I am very socially awkward and also isolated because of my homeschooling. When someone is nice to me I just feel like they pity me like I’m some pathetic little worm who has been stomped on and on the brink of death.
Vent When I was 14 i got sent to a mental alysum for suicidal thoughts my mom flirted with the police so they said i wanted to k1ll people somewhere. I was locked for 5 months and there was no human rights no camera if you are not having powerful connections outside like a politician people become people pleasers so staffs wouldnt hurt them. They would flirt with girls there and stare at them weirdly i chopped my hair because of that but it didnt fully stop. I remember staffs not feeding kids and locking them up in their own room even if they wanted to go to the bathroom because they threw a tantrum they were like 5. Security guards would throw them on the ground very loudly and every single worker knew each other so nobody would report them they would even cover up for it. I remember my friend yelling at a man to get out of her room and to stay away from her bed and she said that he tried to open the door when she was showering her hair was drenching with soap and she changed asap and they locked the bathroom away from her because there was soap in her hair I hate everyone there they didnt let a girl go to the dentist for 2 months her teeth was rotting and then she ran away. I couldnt because i dont want a bad record but i heard shes doing well and got a job at a supermarket. I wish I escaped so Im not traumatized not being able to get into a prestigious college is better than being depressed.
I still feel his and her hands on my body. I told them to stop but they didn't. I felt slutty and disgusted. I didn't have a childhood. I was just 4. Why did they do that? Why didn't they stop? I always used to see them as my big brother and sister. What suddenly happened?
it wasn't your fault, it's awful that they did that ... that's terrible. did you tell your guardians?? is everything ok now? and I know I say this literally all the time but if you're not getting help please reach out for help. that is awful that you went through that and you deserve help. you're a very strong person, don't give up. you're important!
"Donnie, what did Roberta Sparrow say to you? She said that every living creature on earth dies alone How did that make you feel? It reminded me of my dog, Callie. She died when I was eight. She crawled underneath the... the porch To die? To be alone Do you feel alone right now? I don't know. I mean I'd like to believe. I'm not, but I just... I've just never seen any proof so I... I just don't debate it anymore, you know? It's like, I could spend my whole life debating it over and over again weighing the pros and cons, and in the end I still wouldn't have any proof. So I just, I just don't debate it anymore. It's absurd. The search for God is absurd? It is if everyone dies alone Does that scare you? I don't wanna be alone"
This isn't really trauma but I just want to vent. I am autistic and a part of a family that doesn't show love very well. Like I have never heard "I love you" or anything that indicates care for someone in my family. So it's no surprise to find out that I can't show love for my GF. Which sucks, I hate myself every time she says how she wants to cuddle and to be close and I just can't. we hold hands and hug but nothing else. I want to though, I just have no idea how to show that. I can't communicate well either and I'm constantly scared to say if I don't want to do something because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I actually keep thinking about breaking up with her because I don't want her to suffer being with me. But I love her and I just want to be selfish and be with her. I don't know, maybe this won't last and she'll end up leaving me. And I'll be happy so long as she is.
actually, that counts as trauma. it's emotional neglect and it can really affect a child and affect them even in adulthood. and with your gf, I think you guys should talk and be straightforward and honest with each other and set boundaries (that is a big part of being in a relationship after all). also if you can, please try to reach out for help. like I said, growing up being emotional neglected can actually really affect someone. I hope you will be ok (and your gf too)!
@@oliesplaylistschannel I hope so too. I am working hard to be able to show emotions correctly. But it's tiring and I really don't want to stress over it. I just want to show my GF that I do love her. Also thanks, I never even thought of it as emotional neglect before. I'll try to get help once I'm ready.
edit: yeah. a vent. i'm rephrasing it because it just hit me how bad what she did is. i think right now she's on her third boyfriend, but this happened years ago. . . . . Shoutout to my six-year-old self being able to perfectly remember stories of my dad beating my brothers and mom, and how my brother's ex-girlfriend invaded our house and dragged me outside to her car in the dead of night to vent about her s-x life with my own brother. And proceed to tell the stories to an anonymous chatter who had been previously asking me questions like "How old are you?", "Are you a boy or girl?", "Do you want a boyfriend?" and, one of my -favourites- that I could remember, "Can you come to my house? If you want to?".
TW derealization, depersonalization, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, near death experiences, mental illness I deeply relate to traumacore because of all I’ve been through. When I was 9, I started showing symptoms of depression and anxiety. By 12, I was suicidal and was hearing voices that weren’t real. At about 14, I had to be hospitalized for depersonalization and suicidal thoughts. I had a plan too. I would go on to be hospitalized 8 more times from ages 14 to 19. One time was from a failed suicide attempt where I tried and failed to slit my wrists. Voices in my head told me and still do tell me to hurt myself, to kill myself, and they try to tell me I’m not real. I’m stuck in a toxic relationship with myself. How can I leave when I can’t just abandon myself? These thoughts got even worse when I almost died of an accidental overdose, but that’s a story for another time. I’m diagnosed with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and ptsd. I’m also autistic. I’ll have to live off state aid because of how disabled I am. I need to be constantly stimulated or else I hallucinate, see things, hear things.. even feel sensations that are not real. I just want to be normal, but I’ll never be normal. All I can do is take my medication and go to therapy. I’m in near constant derealization and depersonalization at this point. I don’t know who I am anymore or even if I’m real. If anything is real. I wish I was dead.
I've witnessed my parents during their respective addictions, I witnessed their toxic relationship, I overheard so much that I shouldn't have. But...they have made an effort to change and a part of me feels guilty for feeling the way I do. But that other part of me knows that I deserved a better childhood and I'm at least happy my little brothers are having a happier childhood than I got. It's especially comforting because one of them is like me as a kid, so it's like seeing me finally getting the childhood I deserved
(tw: s-h) Around 2 years ago, I’d cut myself. I had no reason for it, life was great, I had friends, family, and I was happy. I still don’t know the reason why I did but both arms were absolutely destroyed (the scars faded now) and no one knew. Never told a soul. It was during the winter so I had an excuse to wear long sleeves, besides gym at school, I would wear covers on them. I don’t think anyone cared to check. I once went swimming during that time and my arms were covered in white. My swim suit wasn’t long sleeves so I hid my arms behind my back for picture and in the water, barely noticeable. I was clean for over a year when life actually got hard, and so I relapsed. It went on for around a month but this time, I had a friend to talk about it to. She never knew what to say. I got the “I am sober” app and it helped so much. Around a week sober I decided to tell my other friend during a sport trip, she told the adults and my mom got me checked. (Don’t do what I did next if you are struggling) I lied the entire time and didn’t need help. I do sometimes not eat, cut blood circulation on my hand, bite my cheek and so on but I’m proud it’s not like before. Sadly a while back I tried inhaling Benadryl and stopped a week after because I forgot how to breathe after inhaling a good amount. My life’s now going well, yes maybe sometimes I break down and need support from friends, but I know that I’m stronger than that version of me and so are you! If you’re struggling mentally or in anyway, remember how much people care about you, and love you. If you think there’s no one, know that the one who wrote this (me) does!
I feel…like I’m not myself anymore, I don’t feel like myself anymore…whenever I do anything it’s just “(character that I wanna be) did this” “(character) did that” When Will This stop ???
ok I have some shit here So. 2019. I was just at school, hanging out with friends. We were talking about whatever, probably gossiping about the new drama. One of my friends started talking about how she overheard the teachers talking about a new disease. Covid-19. We all just laughed it off. That was in December, almost FIVE YEARS AGO. Time has been going by too damn fast. I feel so much hatred for myself and I just wish it would go away, even though I know it sure as hell isn’t. I suffered from an ED all during the quarantine time in 2020-2022 ish. Luckily I’m better now, but that was such a horrid feeling, looking in the mirror and seeing something that wasn’t really true. Tricking yourself into believing that you’re ugly, you’re not worth anything, and that you deserve to hurt. It’s not true, and I know that now, but then… it started again. Right as I was feeling okay, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and Autism. I realized why I was like this. I realized who I was. I was born this way. I was born a disappointment. This year of school I moved schools, and it’s so hard. My anxiety will not allow me another chance. I have an IEP and so everyone thinks that makes school a breeze for me. It doesn’t. I’m always just suffering in silence. When I was younger, I had the best fucking life. I took it for granted and was forced to grow up too quick. I’m a very lucky person, in the sense that I’ve never been SA’d or abused. Not physically, at least. I struggle with SH, and my parents don’t know. I’ve attempted twice, and still, my parents don’t know. I’m scared of what will happen if I tell them. I know that they’ll just blame themselves. It’s not their fault. It’s not my fault either. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not my fault I’m like this. It’s everyone who’s hurt me, everyone who made me feel less than when I knew deep down I was fucking worth it. You’re worth it too.❤
“I am here for you” No you weren’t, you weren’t there when I cut my arm till it bleed, u weren’t there when I was planning to kill myself, you weren’t there for me as a child you didn’t raise me You weren’t them when I was questioning my gender, You ask why I never talk about my problems because when I did you called me selfish
Oh no... Please don't harm yourself, if you plan on harming or ending yourself, please, contact the suicide hotline (988) right away!! I'm sorry to hear you went through this... make sure to try to get help. If your guardian(s) won't get you help, talk to an adult at school such as a counselor and I'm sure they can do something for you! Take care of yourself... 🫂🫂🫂
Reality twist, disconnection, mistakes, depression, delusional fear indused psychosis, coping. To stare at the ceiling, with it in your mind, unable to control thoughts fear endlessly, so potent, so pure.
TW!!// Vent and mentions of suicidal thoughts, SH, and SA, I used to have a good friendship with someone and we got along well! And we were good friends at school. We talked on the bus about our interests and well i became friends with her! Next school year we were in the same class!! I thought it was a good thing because we were good friends :] (turns out we weren't...) And then... Me and her had our first fight.... (I cant remember what it was about but oh well) and well we got over it pretty quickly Luckily lol. But then things started to get a little worse... She started to embarrass me infront of alot of the bullies... Which made me say "why would you do that to me?? I thought we were friends" but she just said "hey they'll most likely forget about it lol" and i started to think i couldn't trust her alot... Then she started to do even worse things.... She started ti make jokes about my insecurities and sent me a picture of dora on discord and said "look its u lol" and i started to think she wasn't the nicest "friend" She started manipulating me and even fake dated another good friend of mine to make her happy and also was rude to my other really good friend... And then... It was my turn to have even more trauma... She did some really nasty things.... To me.. She and i were dating at the time... I went to her house cus why not... (Big mistake) i went to her room and we had just yk a normal hang out Watching stuff on her TV, hanging out, drawing... But then she said... The worst thing someone has *ever* said to me.... "Wanna play the firetruck game" ( if you dint know what that is... Its a game where someone runs their finget up your leg and if you say red light they stop right? No... Cus firetrucks dont stop a red lights... And it can lead to R@p3) so i was like "whats that? A game where we make firetruck sounds?? Cus that sounds funny af" she was like " you clearly never heard of it have you... " and so she told me and i was like "oh... I dunno if i wanna play that... " but she did it anyway... And i literally said no to her... So she forced me to sot on her bed and started doing the thing..... And then when she got kinda close i did push her off me... And said "l-lets do something else... " She said "fine" in an Annoyed way After i left i was kinda nervous about tomorrow. (Ima skip to some other parts cus yea...) So i got a notification on one of my videos saying "i know what you did... And i honestly hate you alot now... " i was obviously confused on what was happening... So i looked at my notifications and saw a video about me... I clicked on it of course and guess what.... Somene made a rumor that i was a z00phile and f#ck3d my cat And i started to cry alot.... Like alot And i wss like "WHO DID THIS!?!? WHY WOULD SOMEONE SAY THAT ABOUT ME!?? " and i watched the video more... But guess what... The video was by one of my really good friends... Of course... But why would they do that??? But after that... I started to get alot of suicidal thoughts in my head... I wanted to drown myself... I wanted to slit my throat open... I wanted to die... Then my "friend" said "___ are you ok!? " i said "NO... IM NOT OK.... ___ MADE A VIDEO SAYING THAT IM A DISGUSTING Z00PH1LE.. " Later though... She did say at lunch that she kinda did believe it... And of course the other bullies also believed it.... (Ima skip to more parts cus im getting bored of writing this one😭😭) Ok.. So it turns out that... The fake friend was manipulating my really good friend into saying that stuff... Oh i also was cutting myself alot around that time.. So yea Anyways She was manipulating me and them to break our frienship apart cus she was jealous.... She also sent so many rude things to me on discord.... ( i will write more later cus im getting tired.) Edit time.. Yippee One thing that happened on a discord call that made me very uncomfortable was Her saying "Hey ___ Can you send me n#d3z" And that made me very uncomfortable.... So I obviously said "EW... FUCK NO... " so after that I left the call... But then she tried to call me back like 10 times.. Then I was like "OK FINE.. I CALL YOU" So then she said another thing that made me very uncomfortable as well.... "___, can you m0@n in the mic... I want to hear you m0@n please" i once again Said "no I'm not doing that... It's weird so no.. " then she kept BEGGING AND BEGGING Then I left the call again... And just Laid in my bed hugging a plushy for comfort because of how uncomfortable I felt on that call.... Here's something that happened recently! So I was at school and one of my friends told me a secret that my toxic friend told them... She said (ima just call my toxic friend idk.. Beth..) Anyway my friend said "Beth was only being your friend to use you and your gf for stuff..." And I was... Shocked and then I said "wait so she always hated me!? "And my friend said " yeah.. I guess so.. " And I HATE my toxic friend with a *burning passion* ... I hate them so much I don't even care what happens to them..... I'm sorry but I don't fucking care abt them.... They were SO HORRIBLE...
jeez, I honestly don't know what to say, that's a lot... that's messed up that they made you go through that. are you away from those people now? are you getting help?? please don't end everything, you have so much to live for, a whole life ahead of you, amazing things could happen. you are loved and cared about and you're important. if you are feeling like ending your life, please, tell a guardian and get help for that. I honestly am not that great at comforting but I want you to know that you didn't deserve this but you are important. and please don't harm yourself in any way. I really really hope you will be ok!! please, stay strong and seek help and be safe! I'm sorry if I didn't help any, but I seriously want you to know you do deserve help and you are actually important! have a great day/night! try to seek help if you aren't already it's important you get help!
@@oliesplaylistschannel I am doing a lot better now cus I did break my friendship with them .. But they're still in the same school as me sadly But I do avoid her a lot She is trying to be friends with me again but no.. I'm obviously not gonna be her friend cus it will just make me hurt again. I have a relationship with a nice girl and she helped me out a lot! (Yes I'm in a lesbian relationship, I am bi, but I love her cus she's very nice to me) But yea I don't talk to that toxic person but she does try to talk to me ;-; I even saw her staring at me a few times... She did stare at me for a bit and I did have a small anxiety attack but my friends helped me
--Vent-- TW: problably violence (not rly sure), bad english. Well, recently, me, my mom and my siblings got through something rough, atleast to me. My "father" was realy abusive, he used to punch my mom and my older brother, while me and my brother (middle sibling) only listened to it. my whole family desenvoleped trauma in this time (it all started when i was like 6, maybe 9 years ago, not sure.). My mom was strong enough to call the police, even tho my dad ins't in jail, he can't go near us so it's okay ig, now we are okay, but this was dificult to stand. i'm usually very confortable to venting online, cuz yk, strangers.. but i hope you've read this all, and if your going through the same, fell free to vent, we are all here to listen, bye..
that is terrible. I'm very glad to hear he isn't around to hurt you guys anymore but I am so sorry that happened to you and your family, that's rough... are you doing ok rn? I'm really sorry, that can actually be very harmful for your mental well-being. I hope things are better now and I hope you are ok and getting help!
Like who does the shit that happened to me? Who rapes an infant? Who drugs a kid? Who waterboards a kid? Who suffocates a kid? Who burns a kid? Who beats a kid so hard they piss themselves well after they were toilet trained? Who poisons a child? Who constantly tells a child they're gonna burn in hell? Who forces a kindergarten child to look at graphic STD photos right before school? Who starves their child knowing the medicine they are on makes that dangerous? And most importantly, who does this to a kid that ALREADY has PTSD knowing they have that disorder? Who?????
When I went to 5th grade, I thought my last year would be great. It turned out to be the worst year I've ever had. I became friends with a boy named Jorden, (and no I do not mind at all saying his real name.) he later sa'ed me. 5th grade is when my veey bad anxiety and stress started. 5th grade is when I was replaced, and lost most of my friends. 5th grade was one of the lonliest grades. Later, I became hypersexual. I got depressed. I had suicidal thoughts. I did self harm. No one ever noticed even when I don't wear long sleeves. I was the one who listened to other's problems, instead taking care of my own. A bad grade would absolutely kill me, if I even got an average, passing grade, I would always ask to retake it. I always wanted to be the highest, and the highest only. My long term substitute knew i had anxiety, she was the best but then my real teachers left and she was gone. So when break started, I felt so much better. Mosy of my bad habitats stopped. Everything was now okay. But now I just realise, It's just gonna repeat itself again.
I have a cousin who's low income, addicted to alcohol and extremely suicidal. Seeing all the cuts on their arms hurts my heart, but I have taught them to stay clean and they've been doing really well. I stay up to ungodly hours just to make sure they don't kill themselves. Which I do not blame them, it isn't their fault. But I'm also my irl friend groups punching bag. I get hated on for everything and anything I do. It takes so much out of me. I also have severe truama because I was hit by a car and groomed online and irl when I was younger. I have diagnosed PTSD. My anxiety is getting worse, but it's already been bad because it's genetic. I started high-school recently and it's been extremely tough. I'm already failing 2 classes because I don't understand anything. And nothing I do helps. I'm currently in a bathroom crying i have been for an hour. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't know how much more I can take before I snap. I don't want to be alive anymore. I don't want to be in pain anymore. Ever since I got hit by the car my life has only gone downhill. I can't take it.
gosh, are they getting help? not to be rude or anything, I know you care about them, but in all honesty it's not your responsibility; it's theirs. I understand you love and care about them but they shouldn't rely on you, they need to get help instead of relying on you. You deserve a break, and as for your friend group. Please, stop talking to these people and try to make different friends, from what you have said they aren't really your friends, you deserve actual friends who treat you with the respect you deserve. and are you seeing someone?? if you're not already getting help please reach out to someone. hope you feel better soon.
TW: DEREALIZATION AND DEPERSONALIZATION? I had a good childhood, but for some reason I think to myself that I wish I will never ever exist. Sometimes i got weirdcore theme dreams and even nostalgiacore theme dreams so I can see my past self and the nostalgic again. Which made my fragile heart ached for it.. *But why....why does life make me happy while i'm sad?* I should've never existed instead of my sister. At all. But i also need to keep going, so I won't miss the life I shall experience soon. Also, to anyone who read this... I hope you had a great life and had some help for u to overcome! ❤
Putting my trauma in point form: ………………………………………………… -Molested (twice, from 10-14) -Don’t know what I emotionally feel (ever since I was given meds) -Perfectionist -Abandonment Issues -History of being taken advantage of -Could possibly have a Personality Disorder -History of suicide attempts (mostly they were overdoses) -Now having trust Issues -Was bullied mentally -History of fake friends -Teachers who tell me to do better -Family Issues (mostly daddy issues) -Having depression and anxiety -I no longer SH (Or so I thought just recently got right back at it) -A mother with high expectations -Feeling pushed to do things for my mom because she too has depression -A 8 year old brother who’s getting bullied for having autism -Scared to get better because my parents might go back to paying attention to my brother and not to me. -Putting others before myself -Insecurities
(Rate my trauma) So I was like 10-11 and I had this uncle around and I loved him he was fun and stuff like that, but I'm one day it was like he changed... We used to nag at each other and play around like mean little jokes until one day he touched me. And I don't mean little jokes I mean like he smacked my bottom and laughed about it, but 10 year old me didn't know anything weird wise so I smacked him back. But then almost every time I was alone somewhere in my grandmas house he would do it.. Nowhere near another person. But now that I'm thinking about it now, he scares me.. A couple of months later I turned 12 and more months passed and he came in the house without permission. So he says hi to me and left, he didn't say hi to nobody else.. So I'm why he did that but I know it wasn't good. Also a couple days ago I got a b in one of my classes and my dad hit me for it cause I was 'failing' and one time I was crying in my daycare when I was young and I got in trouble and sat in a small short cold yellow chair. I remember one time when I was like 5 he beat me bear, with his hand cause I couldn't write my name right. I remember one time he punched my stomach before and I coughed up blood before :3 then one time my father suffocated me and when he let go he laughed and walked off while I was chocking, not able to breathe. I feel like I dont do enough either but I'm doing better than I should be... (I'm not even 15 yet) :3
Hi, dear strangers I just had an srgument with my mom. I still wish I never got used to staying silent. I would have cursed her out for everything she's done. And for everything she hasn't. I wish she actually cared about me. And that she'd stop playing the victim. So she'd stop lying to me, saying "I love you". Thelast thing she said to me just a few minutes ago was "I'm going to go and cry too, and I want you to think about everything I've said to you". She isn't crying. I can hear her. It isn't fair. Because I am. I'm crying. Why isn't she? She says it makes her feel terrible that my mental health is doing worse. She says I have to go to school. That I must do it. Even if she knows that I can't go an hour without a panic attack in there. That what she expects from me is too much. I burnt out, and now, she doesn't want me anymore. She wants her gifted daughter again. Not a depressed, anxious, self-loathing teenager. It isn't fair. I'm not her daughter. I'm her child. Yet she doesn't want me. She wants her daughter. The daughter that died the moment the expectations were too high to meet. Now I want to join her. I want to join that gifted little girl in Heaven, but I can't. My only safespace, the internet, with my friends, my favourite creators, my music, my life, is being taken away from me at the only time she isn't there to judge me, at night. She says she wants the best for me. I don't believe her anymore. If she wanted the best for me, she wouldn't do this to me. I don't understand her sometimes. She says she loves me. It's a lie. She loves the gifted little girl she wants me to be. I'm not her. I'll never be her again. She doesn't exist anymore. And it's my mom's fault. She said she and my dad can't afford me to "waste their money" by not going to school some days. The days when she ridicules me so much, I can't handle it. When I wake up in a panic attack. She sees that. And she still says I can handle it, and she's the one hurt most in this situation. I want her to see that she's wrong. But she can never admit to that. She's too insecure, needing constant validation that she's right no matter the situation. And it isn't fair. Sometimes I wish she was never my mother. Sometimes I wish I was never born. Sometimes I wish my teachers never found out about my SH, so she would never know either. But it's not likeshe thought it was a big deal anyway. To her, my unstable mental health is just a phase. It isn't fair. It's never fair. Why is life so unfair to me? What did I do to deserve a life with a mother who pretends to care about me, when we both know she doesn't? It's her fault that I can't speak up, she trained me to be this way, so I'd never correct her in an argument. One day, I'll snap at her. I know I will. I can't hold it together forever. I just hope that day will come once I can leave this hell of a house. It isn't home. It's a house. I hate her. I hate this house. I hate my life. Sometimes I wish I went into ongoing traffic that one time I was so close to it. Sometimes I wish I didn't back out right before I was about to lower my head under the water. Sometimes I wonder if she'll even cry if I did. I don't think she will. I have the chance to go grab a knife. I have a chance to go into the bathroom. Or into my room. That doesn't matter. I can lock myself in here. I can do what I always wanted to. I can go to Heaven. I'll see you all one day, strangers, I'll love you from Heaven. Don't repeat my mistake. Snap at them. Let them know how badly they hurt you. My name was RXQ. I wish it was. I hate my real name. Goodbye, and good luck.
I believe I had it better than some people. I went through it though still. My dad was mentally and emotionally abusive. Very neglectful of me also. My mom tried to be a good mom but its hard to associate anything good because she was always working. He would lock me in my room all day until she got home. Because of that, I struggle with talking to others and tend to separate myself from everyone. I learned that I can only have myself. He was cruel in ways most wouldnt understand. He never yelled or hit me, but did a ton of damage anyway. I still struggle with my depression and no matter how much help I get, it doesnt help. i guess listening to these playlist calms me and helps me accept my childhood a little more every time. I am healing slowly.
22-23 worst year of my life, I was stalked during my first semester ever as a college student then two semesters in a row with toxic friend groups who had a huge argument with each other and I had to break up with them In my finals week currently and taking this spring semester off for reasons *PS OLLIE GO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED AS A BREAK AS THIS LOOKS LIKE A VENTING CHANNEL (NO OFFENSE TO PEOPLE IN THE COMMENTS)BREATHE, TALK TO SOMEONE, REACH OUT TO CLOSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY, EAT SOMETHING IF YOU CAN, FOCUS ON SCHOOL AND ACADEMICS IF YOU ARE IN ACHOOL AND ABLE*
Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that! :(( I hope you will get better and the break will help you. Also thank you for that, I have been feeling better and have been talking to friends and whatnot!! I appreciate it :,0
@@oliesplaylistschannel that you for that Ollie, it’s over and done with. Doing everything I can to move past it. I am also very glad that you are doing better too☺️❤️
Oh dear... 2020-2023... My cat and dog died during this period. My great grandfather died. My depression and anxiety peaked. I stay in my room all day long. I don't speak to my parents often anymore.
@@oliesplaylistschannel My school counselor let them know that I was going through things and it's been almost a year and they've done nothing. Pretty sure they've forgotten even though all my siblings have had therapists.
I was ruined. I was hurt so badly by others they ruined me as a person. I developed a mental illness that makes me a bad person and now rightfully so I have nobody. All I want is to be loved but because I was never given love I don’t know how to so I will never have the thing I truly want most in the world. I just want it all to end, I’m so tired of being abandoned over and over, I’m so tired of being lonely 💔
Idk why im venting to a bunch of people on the internet but here we go. i have anemoia. i wish i was in a different body especially because i hate my life. my parents say im " just being sad". oh yea? then why did i SH? this is so stupid.
i really hate to hear that you go through this. please, try seeking help and don't SH, do something different to distract you. try using healthy coping mechanisms. I hope you will be ok.. 🫂
if you get a bad gut feeling about it; don't do it. i was going to learn swimming and really didnt have a good feeling about it, long story short. we were learning how to dive and i got scared so instead of letting me go the guard pushed me in. mind you i was 5 and didn't know how to swim. quit right after that.
I have came to the terms that I'm not normal and that I'll never be normal. And it's all because of my uncle. I hate him. He took away my childhood, and nothing can bring it back. I hate that he got away with it and how my father believes his brother more than his own child. I hate being so easy to manipulate and so naive as a child. I wish I could go to young me warn myself about him. I hate his guts. I hate everything about him. I hate myself for being so stupid as a child. I hate everything about myself cause of him
don't hate yourself. I'm so sorry you had to go through that, but it wasn't your fault. are you doing ok? I say this all the time but are you getting help? if not please try to reach out to someone. you're loved, everything will be ok. you're a good person! ❤️
@@oliesplaylistschannel thank you, im doing better but sometimes we do have to visit him so I just to stay back and or go to my cousins room. I am getting help but I never saying who did it.
@@XxTommy_xX I honestly think it would probably be good to tell them who did it but at the same time it's completely up to you and I know it must be really difficult. but I think he deserves to face the consequences of his actions so if you tell them he will at least be questioned and maybe even caught. but like I said, it is up to you, I'm not forcing you to do anything! I am so glad you are getting help and doing better btw that's great!! I hope you have a great future! you deserve to be happy!
@@oliesplaylistschannel im really doing better, i have a boyfriend, I have friends who support me, Im in theatre. but it still aches. but im goign to tell who, thank you so much for helping me out
im still a child maybe mum and dad are right "ive been through nothing" i dont deserve to cry i have no reason to hate myself or commit. i wish i could belive that
I wish I could be happy and forget everything bc I'm tired to face everyday what I did, even if at first it wasn't my fault, I wish I could love my parents properly
I guess I’ve felt suicidal and stuff since I was in fourth grade. I was bullied a lot, verbally and emotionally abused, and have attempted several times. I could be the happiest person lighting up a room and then I could go home and contemplate how I’d end my life that night. I’m Christian and believe that I can get through this through faith, but if your parents tell you that you just gotta pray it away and dismiss it almost, it’s discouraging. Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t I be happy and innocent like I used to be? Why is loving myself such a challenge? I hate everything about myself and I wish that I could be anyone else but me. Sorry to randomly vent to strangers, I’m just hurting a lot tbh.
I just feel bad, because I was bullied a lot and I never knew why so I just not include myself in nothing and did not talked to no one. It worked, but I noticed that this was hurting me. Now I have a best friend, but her grandma died (she lived with her), she was abused by her father and bullied alot too, so she haves anxiety and I feel so bad for not helping her...
It's been hard lately, trying to keep ourselves together. Our dad wasn't the best man in the world and we didn't know him much. We sort of became our moms champion and the expecations my family had for me from the time she left my a**seive dad became a lot for us to handle lately, as well as coming to terms with our teenhood and how messed up it left us in terms of relationships and affection. Sorry its like 2 AM and we've just been staring at the ceiling all night. What we are trying to say is, it's going to be okay.
I'm sorry you guys are going through that, I'm hoping you guys will be okay.! Try to reach out for help if you guys aren't already getting help and take care of yourselves! 🫂❤❤
TW: Vent (I just wanna take it off my chest) I havent really told anyone what happened to me, im not sure if it counts as SA since it wasnt directly but i do feel assulted by it To tell, it started when i was around 11. I wouldnt have attention from my parents due to their own arguments and i started avoiding myself from my family, i felt lonely and i decided to find comfort by talking with other people online One day, i got attached to this man (i wont mention name) i knew he was older but i thought id be comforted, he started talking about uncomfortable topics (iykyk) which made me really uncomfortable but he threaten me that if i didnt send pictures of myself or do things for him he would block me I was scared but i didnt wanna keep losing people so i did as he said until a few weeks that i got tired and dissapeqred from him Thats when I started having strong hypersexual feelings and seeing myself as an object for others, i kept doing the same thing, s€xualizing myself and sending pictures and videos of me just so I would have attention and compliments Until i turned 15 that i knew i had to stop Im 16 now but sometimes i struggle to value myself as a real human being than just an object, and its hard for me to believe people wont love me unless its for my body I regret everything I did and wished that wouldnt have happen cause now I cant get those things of my head and knowing I was 11 makes me disgusted but bad for myself despite it was my own fault
People struggle with hypersexuality, and it’s not just sometimes, it’s mostly all the time. I understand how hard it can be for people with hypersexuality, and I’m so sorry it happened to you. I’m just glad you left that horrible man, but don’t hate yourself for it. You matter, and you deserve a break. Ily, stay strong, and safe 💕❤
@@4u2do Thank you for those words, even if it's been a year basically its really hard for me I struggle to see myself as a real person and only an object for other people pleasures I just wanna see myself more than someone for other people's satisfaction
I feel like I’m worth nothing…I always am left alone in my life I only get called when people need me and I almost never leave my bed I cry myself to sleep at times and I try to put myself out there putting a smile on my face…But I just simply get ignored…When I call my friends they always are busy to the point where I think they are avoiding me…when I try to say something about it I simply get responses like “Others have lots of things to do” and it just sucks! I get no response to my crying or begging…I just want to get what I give…Love and support…
Bruh that made me cry again after I was crying for two hours I don’t understand why mothers like this they hurt you really bad but you can’t hate them but rn I don’t even want to hug her or do anything with her or even touch her after what she did to me I can’t believe a mother would abu$e they’re child like this how can a person be this heartless? I’m not even a child and I didn’t do anything wrong to deserve to be treated that bad what hurts more that my own parents can’t give me the care understanding and safeness they should give me as their child who would?
For some reason, I can't remember my childhood, and i feel like nothing's real. I get irritated easily, yet i feel empty, like my personality is fake. I'm scared of waking up one day and finding it was all fake. I can only remember brief moments of crying and saying sorry.
![Why couldn’t I have a normal childhood?.. [a traumacore/vent playlist]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/zEhLdNO4D8c/mqdefault.jpg)
![Why couldn’t I have a normal childhood?.. [a traumacore/vent playlist]](/img/tr.png)
Dear whoever is reading this; I love you, and I wish I could’ve been there to protect you. Take good care of yourself: stay hydrated, eat something, brush your teeth, go outside and see the sun again. I know it's hard, but I believe in you. I'll say it again, I b e l i e v e in you. It's so disgusting what some of us had to go through. If you ever feel like no one cares about you, remember me. I love you, I believe in you, I care about you. I want to see you recover from your trauma. I want to see you happy again. I want to see your beautiful smile. You deserve to be happy. 🫂
- Someone who loves you
Thank you🙂
@@RofiaRocha You’re welcome ^^
thanks i was genuinely thinking about ****** myself tonight, nobody understands me and they treat me like im crazy, i have mental illnesses and they don't wanna help me, i can't do this anymore but at least it stopped.. well that.
@@mar420.74 I’m very sorry to hear that. You don’t deserve to be treated that way and I hope you can get the help you need :( if you ever need someone to talk to I’ll always be here for you
Thank you for saying you could've been there to protect me, I'm sure I shed a tear.
2020-2022 was actually traumatic.
literal Trauma simulator
2022 was traumatic for me
2023.
@@zofiekovacsova6624 real..
2018-2022 was when it all happened
i dont even know why i feel this way.
i dont deserve to pity myself
Nooo!! You're important and your feelings are valid and important, don't ignore your feelings, you're important! :(( 🫂
You may not know where those feelings come from, but there is ALWAYS a reason for them,they always stem from something. It will get better, then worse, then better again❤️
i only have one thing to say to all those men. i was a 8 year old girl. i was a CHILD. and i still am. thank you for listening to my TED talk. love from the bluebell system.
As a kid, I had a best friend on yt and Roblox, her name was Riley, she was 11, I was 10, she was being abused constantly, we'd use live streams to call so sometimes I'd hear it. It was scary. 2 years ago, when I was 12, I saw her commit svicide on one of those like streams. Idk if I can do this anymore but her family blames me and wants me de4d ♥
Oh my... I'm so sorry to hear this. It wasn't your fault, you were so young, there was nothing you could do. But you were always there for her and that made you a good friend.
🫂
I hope you are ok, you're important. You're loved and important, and I hope Riley is resting well. :(
Is there anything I can do to make you feel better??
If you need, I can list some healthy coping mechanisms to use!
@@oliesplaylistschannel I’m ok!
Bro, none of that is your fault. frick those idiots for blaming a child for something like that.
It's not your fault at all,your friend at least is in a better place :)
YEAH FRICK THEM Its nOt your fault I guess she needed a friend To talk Too during Those times@@Carl_Is_Tired
vent!! (mention of suicide and anorexia) I hate feeling weak. i hate the feeling of someone looking down to me and making feel smaller then I already do. when I was 13, I wrote a suicide note and started planning just so I didn't have to worry about my future as I knew it was going to be the worst. i've always been the walkover kid. I was quiet and didn't know how to socialise well which lead to me being an easy target for bullies. I remember someone telling me that if I hated myself so much to just commit already. I had enough and wanted to "fix" myself so others liked me. I became anorexic. I was obsessed with wanting people to see me as this amazing girl who was perfect and beautiful, who had lots of friends. the worst part being that my parents and siblings don't help. they call me names such as "fatty" when I ask for seconds. all I ever wanted was to just be the happy girl I used to be.
Are you okay? I'm sorry you've had to go through so much pain. Remember that you're never truly alone, we're here for you and you deserve to be there for yourself too ❤
That sounds absolutely horrible.
I used to be a walkover kid, and I dunno if this was repressed or anything, but my parents told me that when I used to use the bus to actually get to school, these older kids told me that my parents were going to be chopped up when I got home, and much, *much* more. It got so bad that I had to leave the bus program.
I’m super sorry if this sounds like I’m completely ignoring your situation, but I’m neurodivergent, and it’s a bit hard for me to understand without linking others’ situations and experiences with my own.
Just know that I’m here for you, and I and many others will be here for you if you need to talk. ❤
Vent. TW : SA
(lol everyone minimizes my trauma so I have a lot of bottled up emotions)
My childhood was not bad per se, it was a mixture of bad and good... maybe?
On the first hand, I have wonderful parents who loved me and covered all my needs, sometimes they called me useless and stuff but that was only because they got angry, that added to the bullying I received at school lowered my self-esteem a lot.
And then there was..."him". I don't even want to say that it is a member of my family, I just want to remember that it is "him".
Since I was 4 years old he groomed me and touched me quite a few times, and sometimes he made me give him 0ral s3x, he always said that it was ok and it was just a game, but when I was around 7-8 years old I already knew that It wasn't a game, but thanks to his abuse I became hypersexual and addicted to it, I feel sick just thinking about it. The fact that my self-esteem was so miserable made me look for it just to make myself feel important and worthy, I even saw it as an achievement that someone yearned for me in some way. At the age of 8 he went from touching me to having actual sex, and everything continued until I was 11 years old, only then was I able to get away from him and continue my life, since I had my period and he was afraid that I would get pregnant.
At first he looked so... normal. I felt numb and did not see how serious everything that happened was. But now that I'm 15 years old and I analyze everything... it's as if a bomb exploded inside of me and it started to consume me, I told my mom, but I didn't explain much because of the disgust and shame I feel. If only fate hadn't been such a bastard and I didn't been bullied, maybe I would have seen how bad it was...? Perhaps I would have noticed that all this was not correct?
I don't know what to do anymore, seriously, I don't know what to do.
don't ever feel you or what you went through isnt valid.
you deserve help and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
I'm very sorry to hear you went through that, that's horrible..
you really deserved better.
I'm sorry if this is a personal question or if i shouldnt be asking but are you getting therapy?
also, there are many coping mechanisms you can use to cope!
and also, when you need to cry, dont hold it in. its important to get these emotional out.
I'm glad you felt comfortable to vent here and got some stuff out, but i hope you can possibly get some therapy?
and try some coping mechanisms if youd like?
you can:
draw, write, sing, character design, edit, and more.
and again, dont feel you and what you wen through isnt valid, you are important and loved.
feel better soon ❤️
you deserved a good child, i hope that man winded up behind bars! you dont deserve to be like this, dont let people get to you, no matter what! i am so sorry for you, i hope you're doing okay right now
@@oliesplaylistschannel fr! whenever i hear stuff like this it makes me sick! people deserved a good childhood
Hey, I know that what you went through really hurts but just know that you matter and are loved. You may not feel like you are but you are. You're also valued by those who care about you. This thing ruined your life for selfish desire. People like that are what ruin society. It's not your fault you didn't know any better you were a child. You finally felt useful for once. But just know that you'll always be useful and loved and cared about and valued by everyone you love and who loves you. I know words don't mean much but still wanted you to know
That’s really fucking disgusting… I’m so sorry abt the second part
I was groomed online, I was a child when my dad hired a pedo that he sometimes brought over to our house....bet you know what happened when he came over, I struggle with suicidal thoughts and depression since 12, and was in so much pain that I developed a delusion so bad that I wasn't me anymore but characters I admired because I just wanted to be anywhere but home and anyone but me, I grew up as a Jehovah's witness while being trans and bisexual and always had a fear of getting abandoned by my family, I took care of my younger siblings because my parents were barely there. I was their parent, not them. I just wanted to be a kid.
im so sorry, you deserve better
I'm sorry.
thats horrible.. :(
but you're a very strong person and you are valid!
you're doing great, don't give up!! 🫂 ❤️
Parents are supposed to be guardians, not the children.
Are you okay?
my gosh. I really hope you feel better know. I just can't imagine how it felt. I really hope and wish you have a great and happy future
Vent (Please don't say negative things i am easily disturbed right now because of this)
All i wanted was to play, why would you do that?, i was just a little girl on the swings, all i wanted to do is talk, now i have a hole on my heart that makes my insides feel horrible, i lost all my inocence that day, i just wanted to play! i was so inocent... So inocent... I was a little lamb that needed to be protected from the wolf, you where the wolf and i was just a kid with lots of imagination and a naughty liar... (What happened is that i got violated when i was playing in the park, because i was wearing a dress and when i played in the swing you could see what was behind my dress and a ped0 was looking at me that was my older cousin and got violated sadly, i was only 5 when this happened and i had a lamb plush, yeah i was a little lamb just as my plushie...)
Are you ok? :(
I'm sorry you went through that, just know you're a beautiful person and u deserve happiness and i hope you have a great day!
If you need i could list some healthy coping mechanisms for you to use? I really hope you're ok. :(
❤️
even if this comment was 6 months ago, this is still something serious. And I just want to say that I really hope he gets locked away because that is absolutely disgusting, and I know you might not get over it, but I really hope that never happens again and that you eventually recover from it. I might be a random person, but I genuinely care about you and your safety as well as your well being, mental, and physical health. And if you feel like venting to a random person on the internet, I'm here for you. Even if you just want to have simple conversations, I'm here for that too, whether your happy or sad or maybe mad, I'll be here to listen
I once had a friend who is abused by her parents and her brothers , plus my friend is the youngest child . It hurts my heart everytime whenever she tells me about it because she is like a little sister to me , I honestly feel bad about what she's going through and I couldn't do anything since we're just children . I really wished that I could help her. :((
Have you informed any adults about this? Is she ok now? :(
@@oliesplaylistschannel No , we couldn't because it will just cause more problems . We are graduating in July , thankfully we both have the same school to go once we graduate :)
@ू๑ ‧ º · ˚ . M x n t _ C h a n . ू๑ ‧ º · ˚ I hope she will be ok. And don't feel guilty, it's not your fault. Just make sure you let her know how much you care and always be there for her. 🫂
@@oliesplaylistschannel But she is still not okay . I am actually happy that she could find a true friend. (All of her friends leaves her just because of her personality , but I think I like her true self ^^.)
I promised to her that I will never leave her side , even when we both are in different paths . (I just want her to be with me all the time so she could never hear any scolding , offensive words , and others.)
@@HE4V3N_111 you're a very good friend. Hope she will be ok...
I don’t got any serious or recent trauma I feel sad for everyone in the comment section dealing with things that no person should. Keep your head up it’s not your fault. Don’t allow one stupid person to ruin the rest of your life. Don’t let them have that power over you.
❤
Vent
I never really had a traumatic childhood, but i remember dating a 17 year old when i was 8, introduced me to the hub and i got hypersexual at a young age, i got online groomed when i was 11, since i was liking the idea of okder men dating me, which was wrong but its bexuase i get influenced easily witht he book lolita and got introduced to omegle and i had a big obsession with it, i got blackmailed by a 38 yr old telling me that i shouldnt tell anyone since hed leak my pictures on groups, i got scared for dear life and planned a suicide that night, but it didnt go as planned so i i hoped and prayed to god he wouldnt, i still was obsessed so to heal it i wore revealing clothing just to attract anyone who could just love me, i attracted a few pedophiles in my area but i couldnt get out with my fear, became a bit distant and off minded, i think i was trying to really kill myself, i got a bit sad, i resorted to sh and got caught in march, my family scolded me for it and i got thrown into the dark pits of my mind, it took 3 months of me not trying to kms each day but eventually halfway-healed, im still a bit suicidal but its only on parts where i would think i did something wrong and yea.
you're a beautiful and strong person.
you're loved, i'm sorry that happened, there are a lot of bad people online.. but i'm glad you're better.
keep going, you're doing great, 🫂 ❤️
Don't give up. That's so sad and unfair...
But im here for you. and you've come so far, so dont end it all now.
You are loved, and if it doesnt think so, just know that I love you ❤
And God is with you ❤❤
If you need help with anything, you can tell me and ill listen and try to help you.
Praying for you. Hope you recover ❤❤
youre innocent. youre valid. youre strong. youre beautiful. stay strong. i love you 🫂❤.
@@oliesplaylistschannel thank you ❤️
@@eva_idkk Thank you :))
no hate comments please.
feel free to vent and/or comfort other people who have vented, just make sure you treat them with respect and don't invalidate them.
i love all of you.
please, keep fighting. you're beautiful people.
sending hugs!! 🫂
also omg this is getting sm attention, ty guys sm 😭 i didn't expect to get this mich attention but i'm not complaining at all, tysm really 🤧🤧💕
People are usually pretty supportive in these types of playlist, idk if ive seen anyone be mean mostly people just finding a safe place down here, so im sure it fine
He did ruin me. He made me hypersexual the way he did it to me before i even hit puberty. It still hurts me that nobody believed me until years later.
He has no idea what it's like to suppress sexual desires at the age of EIGHT GODDAM YEARS OLD.
man that sounds like that sucked...i hope your fine
I hope ur doing okay
(vent)
My class teacher seems to dislike my mom since she is a little ‘different’ from the others in my country, then my class teacher make the whole grade isolate me for 3 years. They think I have virus, they think I will infect them, nobody wants to touch me, they left me in the corner, they hit me with water bottles and made my left wrist’s bone crack, I don’t know what did I do wrong, I was 8 and is already suicidal. I am 14 now.
I'm really sorry..
thats awful, you didn't deserve that!
please, dont harm yourself in any way!
are you ok??
have you talked to your guardians to get help?
i can barely get up in the morning and now i can't even talk about my feelings anymore
please try to talk to someone or even Journaling can help.
please don't bottle up all those emotions, it's unhealthy.
:(
hope you're ok.
TW// Mention of abuse (I guess), drugs, alcohol and things like that :')
I lived my whole childhood in pure chaos, my dad was a drug addict, my step mom was an alcoholic and a drug addict as well, and my mom was depressed, so she couldn't take care of me correctly during most of my childhood. I think the worse was when I lived with my father, the mental abuse, the humiliation, my step sister forced me to take drugs and to drink alcohol when I was 10/11, I cried every night, hoping that I would d!e in my sleep, or that someone would take me away from my dad's house. My dad was never here for me, he would just watch me while my step mom humiliated and insulted me, she would basically restrain me from eating for a couple of days and he did nothing. When I needed reassurance and affection, he would just ignore me, he was high all the time, I couldn't even talk to him, he would just ignore me. I felt so empty all these years when I lived with my father, and I couldn't even leave him to go and see my mother, my step mom would always say "no" whenever I asked if I could see my mother, and I remember one time, I leaved the house in the middle of the night, I was crying and I called my mother to ask her to come and get me. I don't remember anything good that happened to me while I lived with my father, and with my mother, even though she was depressed and she couldn't take care of me correctly and all, well everything was alright. I haven't seen my father in years, and I've never been this happier, my mom is feeling much better and I am too, when I got back from my dad's house, I wouldn't eat at all, and when I did it was like, a few snacks but it was never a true meal and it wasn't that often, like- really not, and I didn't talked, until like, two years ago, when I finally began to express myself a bit more, to eat a bit more as well and y'know, I was recovering :))
Sorry if I made any faults, I'm French and my English is.. pretty bad- And sorry if any of the subjects I mentioned triggered you, that wasn't the point. I just needed to vent a bit. (And I'm sorry if my comment is a bit unorganized or smth like that-)
this is awful, I'm very sorry you had to go through this.
I'm very glad you are doing better now!
and no need to apologize, I'm glad you could get this stuff out, I'm glad to try and help!
I'm not the best at comforting but I'm very sorry you went through that, but its good that things are better now!
you're important, you're loved ❤️
dont feel bad venting, its good to get emotions out !
So glad you're doing better now! that whole situation sounds awful, but you've made it this far so don't give up yet. Feel free to tell me anything and I can try to help ❤
I love you as a friend -stranger (aka me)
Je suis vraiment désolé pour tout ce qu’il t’es arrivé j’espère que aujourd’hui tu va bien et que tu passes actuellement une bonne journée
I have been abused my whole childhood, still do. I was physically abused at around 5-8 but when i was 9-12 it became mainly verbal abuse.
Someone told me that bottling up your feelings majes your memory bad, i guess that makes alot of sense
I cant remember my childhood all that much but i remember alittle bit, like me screaming very loudly when my mum hit me, my sisters, and dad used to also, my sisters still do
I remember going to a hospital cuz i got very ill and almost got me killed and i refused to eat i only drank water and ate small Belgium walfes and after i got out of the hospital my mum congratulated me on getting skinner
oh jeez...
I'm so sorry..
that is so messed up
you shouldn't have been abused like that, and the fact your mom congratulated you on getting skinnier is so terrible...
that honestly is terrible, I'm so sorry.
are you ok now? are you getting help???
please hang on, you're important and loved! and if you're not getting help please try to reach out to someone.
your feelings are very important and it is indeed unhealthy to bottle them up.
journaling and other healthy coping mechanisms work !
like drawing, writing, journaling, and there's a lot more that you can do to make you feel better that is healthy!!
I hope you will be ok.
❤
Thanks for this playlist. I don't have any recent trauma, but it's very calming for someone who's a little anxious about my upcoming school year.
same...
Please don't reply to this with negative comments,thank you
it wasn't your fault!
he shouldn't have done that to you, you were a child.
that is so messed up and terrible.
I am seriously so sorry...
I know it might be scary and it's up to you rather you tell your parents or not but please try to tell them and try to reach out for help.
you deserve to be seen and helped.
you're a very strong and good person, please don't forget that.
it wasn't your fault I promise. it was his.
you didn't deserve that.
I hope you will be able to get help and have a great future, you deserve a happy life. ❤️
i had a ex that would abuse (mentally and sometimes physically) me and sexualized me. he was my groomer and i started selfharm bc of him. he violated me and its hard telling people, he made me feel like i was only good for my body. a couple years later my old music teacher would touch me weirdly and be overall a pred. i sometimes sexualize myself and i feel so disgusted and feel guilty.
its not your fault.
you didn't deserve to go through that, they were terrible people.
please try to seak help if you can. i hope you will be ok!!
you deserve help! youre an important person and you're loved.
❤️
0:00 - 3:14 Cigarettes out the window - TV girl
3:14 - 5:49 URL crush - dontleaveme
5:53 - 9:06 I wouldn't mind dying with you - Longlost
9:09 - 10:34 Enstranger - Jack Stauber
10:38 - 14:10 Fear - Current joys
Thank you
@@SoapOpera80I love your pfp
Hey guys.
I just wanted to apologize, I know I've been replying to comments and trying to comfort people and believe me I care about all of you and want to comfort you but I've been going through a lot myself. My mental state is getting way worse again and I've been kinda busy lately and unmotivated, I hope all of you are doing well and I love you all.
Again, I'm sorry. I don't want any of you thinking I don't care because I truly do care I just need to get better and get through this year. This is my last year of school and I really need to try and get better and focus on graduating.
Take care of yourselves and remember you are loved and important and keep fighting.
Hope you feel better soon love you guys
You already listening and allowing us to vent says enough. Thank you. Truly.
⚠️vent⚠️
I've lived with my grandmother since i could remember. When i was around 7 or 8 my half brother touched me on my breastsband butt. Not much but enough to cause some trauma. When he finally was caught my nana didn't do much except scold and ground him since it wasnt that much. (This is actually the first time i thought this in depth about it 😅) we stull hangout and stuff but i still dont feel too comfortable being turned around completely from him since hed slap my butt.
Its been a few years and since then my grandma has gotten worse in health. Shes 91 and im 14, I have to help take care if her since my papa now has cancer. I feel like im taking care of a child at times and its making me feel tired and trapped for so long now.
Back in September of 2021 my mom died. I was never realky that close to her since i lived apart from her, we planned to meet up but she died before we could. A year later in 2022 technoblade died.
A few months ago my dad died. He was paralyzed and so he started to do drugs because if it. He got low and started living with me and my grandmother for a while. I helped take care of him aswell since he was paralyzed. Right before a FFA trip i tried to wake him up but at the time we thought he took to many pills so he passed out. Later that day when i left for the three day trip, my family found him dead in his wheelchair. I got back two days later and they told me. The last time i saw him was trying to wake him up in his wheelchair, thinking back there was so many things i wished i did with him but just didn't.
Thank you for reading this😊. Sorry it was all over the place, i couldn't write in a good way to describe everything.
man, that is terrible that he did that to you, even if you don't think it's much, it can most definitely still affect you.
I'm sorry you have to still be around him, and I'm sorry about the rest of your family and the losses and that you have to take care of them
please try to seek help, even if you don't feel you need it. it's important that you get the help you need and deserve.
I really hope you can get help and heal!
(I'm not that great at comforting, but you're a amazing and strong person and you matter!)
By the time i was 10, i started getting verbally and mentally abused by my sister. She would yell at me, calling me useless, a waste of all things, and so so much more. It lead to depression, anxiety, self esteem issues, body image issues, sh. I only recently stopped sh, at the age of 14. My self esteem is still horrible, and so is my anxiety and body issues, but my depression is getting better.
She still verbally abuses me, but not as much. I think she got tired of me not responding.
Thank you for this playlist man.
I'm really sorry to hear that, are you doing ok?? :(
are you getting help?
i also got mentally abused by my sister st that age
OK wow, this playlist got so much attention and I just wanted to thank you guys...
I am just so glad that I have been able to provide a place where people feel comfortable and safe, I honestly wasn't expecting all this attention but I'm really glad people enjoy this playlist and feel safe here!
Also, friendly reminder to take care of yourself!
Drink plenty of water, go outside and get some fresh air, spend quality time with your loved ones, find and use healthy coping mechanisms that help you, and I just want to say this: never invalidate yourself!! I know trauma survivor's tend to invalidate themselves and it's terrible, I want you guys to know you're important and your feelings **are** valid! For those who (like me) say to yourself "Oh others have it worse" or anything like that, everyone out there always has it worse, HOWEVER, thar doesn't make your journey and feelings and whatever you're going through any less important, make sure to reach out to someone, get help, love yourself, try to understand yourself and your feelings and take care of yourself!
I love you guys and I'm wishing the best for you all!! ❤❤
((Edit:) Btw uhh... i had full intentions to respond to all the vent comments but wow... there are *alot*... so uhmm.... sorry if i dont get to yours!! I care about all of you and i may come back again and try to respond but wow...w o w.... i had to idea there were as many as there are.... 😶😶.. so please don't take it personally if i didnt get around to responding to yours, like i said, i truly care abour all of you but wow... there's.... alot.....
I met someone when I was 9, and I loved them ad a really good friend, they had me meet their other 'friends', they all hated me for some reason, started drama, made my life a living hell, but I took it because I didn't wanna upset Them, when I finally tried to set my boundaries, I was apparently in the wrong and They did nothing to help. Finally I turned 11- and everything went down hill. I got bullied, my friend I hat since I was 5 started avoiding me, and my friendship with them started falling out. I developed terrible anxiety and I was(am) basically obsessed with getting Their approval, because I let them control my life, if they hate me or leave me, I will die, no second thought. I have come so close to losing them, I lost myself in the process.
I used to be hyper, happy, silly, didn't really mind the drama.
Now I'm Over protective, Sensitive, Fearful, anxious, and I'm terrified of the person/people who have started the drama.
Yet, I still stick around and keep myself alive for Them, even though They try not to pay attention to me when they don't want to/don't need to.
I read this and honestly it made me feel sick that they did this to you...
I want to let you know that you deserve **true** friends; true friends care about each other's boundaries and respect each other, if your friends are failing to do this, they aren't true friends and you don't deserve them; you deserve BETTER. I know that it's hard and I understand that it has seriously affected you but I really want you to know you're NOT in the wrong but THEY are... please, stand up for yourself, care for yourself, if these "friends' cannot respect you than they aren't worth your time. Try to find other friends that actually respect you, because that's what you deserve, good people in your life who will love and support you!! Remember that your feelings are valid and you should only be surrounded by people who care for you. I believe in you! Don't let these people hurt you... take care of yourself 🫂❤❤
my abusr recently passed, i miss her but i also dont, the amount of shame i felt around her was disgusting, its like a weight has been lifted but i feel so guilty abt it ໒꒰ྀི ◞ ◟꒱ྀིა
are you getting help ?
therapy can help and also healthy coping mechanisms such a as journaling/writing, drawing, singing, games, edits, etc.
you shouldn't feel guilty, it wasn't you're fault.
you are important. I hope you get better!!
@@oliesplaylistschannel I draw, write, sing allot of stuffs, thnks for checking on me🫶🏻
I think my past and current trauma are constantly affecting me, I was a kid, and a stranger did that, a stranger which no one protected me from, if my grandma and grandpa would have just taken 4 steps in the story would've been prettier for me, and I'm probably just another number, he's still out there, he could be preying on other children, and that terrifies me
and now I'm stuck with thoughts of 0verdos!ng or even jump!ng from my school's rooftop, I fuc###g hate myself
I'm so sorry for writing this, I'm sorry I shouldn't be venting or trauma dumping, I'm sorry
🫂
I'm really really sorry you had to go through that.
if you aren't getting help, please, try to seek help.
if your guardians aren't doing anything talk to your school counselor.
please, don't end your life. you deserve to get help and be happy. and don't feel bad for venting! it's good to get these emotions out.
this is truly awful to know you had to go through that.
some healthy coping mechanisms are journaling, drawing, writing, editing, games, singing, etc. and just know you can vent through these coping mechanisms and get your feelings out that way, just as long as you're not harming yourself in real life, you can vent through these coping mechanisms just don't harm yourself please. hope you will be ok!
@@oliesplaylistschannel thank you so much
⚠small vent (maybe...?)⚠
when i was young i lost my friend to suic*de and had secondhand truama because we had plans for the future, one day while i was listening to this song during an all nighter, i fell asleep, and i remember seeing her face again and she said "i love you, and no matter what willow, never forget that, even if it means to kill" and then i woke up, in tears, crying back to sleep because it was 3:00 in the morning, i hope you are doing well in heaven clover ♥
edit: i got secondhand emotional and mental trauma, while her friends from her nextdoor apartment building got the worse because they knew her all her life, her mother was neglectful to her and her english teacher did SICKENING THINGS to her
That's horrible. Reading this made me literally tear up... this is horrible and I'm so very sorry you all had to go through this...
Are you getting help? Please take care of yourself. Your friend is still with you I'm sure and they are so proud of you for being so strong...
Just know that it is okay to feel sad and cry whenever you need to but healing is also important. It will always hurt, but if you get help, it'll get easier. I hope you and all those who lost them are doing ok! Sending hugs 🫂🫂🫂❤❤
My mom traumatized me and left me, and I feel like a broken, used toy, thats no longer needed
you are important. I'm sorry she did that but you are important.
are you ok and getting help? :(
My whole life.. has been traumatic. My parents keep fighting, and my dad just wants sex. So that’s why they make up. It haunts me. Hearing about their trauma and them getting violent at times. To change the subject, my biggest comfort person died last year.. and I’ve been watching his content to not think about it. It feels like he’s still here. I’m sure he’s in heaven, doing 1v1’s with god and having a grand time. Everything’s fine. Right? Everything is fine
I'm so sorry you had to go through that.
it's terrible to go through things like that, but i hope you will be ok.
please keep fighting and remain strong! you're doing great, you're important don't forget that ❤️
@@oliesplaylistschannel Awh, well thank you =] I will stay strong
technoblade never dies, my friend. keep fighting, we're all here grieving with you 🫡
@@cloverhearto7
Im so tired physically and mentally.... I can't even barely take care of myself...but I try even when I don't want to
Growing up, ive always delt with a cats death. My "friend" told me, "its just a cat. Grow up. Its not that big of a deal. Suck it up" every time i told them that a cat has passed away. Along with my parents. They told me i can rarley do the things i loved to do anymore because im a teenager. Only a couple of people cared. No one really cared. No one wanted to talk to me and help with the suicidal thoughts in my head. Not even the councilor in my high school. Being the way that i am today makes me feel like i am never getting anywhere with my life. But somethings make me want to live and enjoy that moment. I constantly write in a diary in russian that no one knows about bc they don speak it. So it helps me get away with it and not to just simply write it in something that they understand.
It is so sad to hear how many people went trought the same thing, and one of these was me (Vi0lat10n caused by older cousin, my age in that time was 5, and he was 17, i am currently 10 and he is in jail because of ped0ph1l3 and v1ol4t10n)
Hope you're doing ok.
I'm very sorry to hear that.
Here are some healthy coping mechanisms you can use:
Drawing, singing, writing, writing poetry, writing stories, doing things that can keep you calm (example: listening to calming music), thinking about positive things about yourself, and if you need anymore I'm sure you could look up more on Google.
And remember, it's ok to cry sometimes, we all cry and it's hard to heal from such tragic events, just know that there are people who are here for you and care about you.
❤️
@@oliesplaylistschannel Thank you, it helps me a lot!
@YoselinstellamarisCamesana you're welcome! Glad I could help
"boys will be boys" "Well what were you wearing?" "You should've said something" "I know him. he would never do that. YOU must've done something to make him do that" These are all things I was told in 6th grade. And that wasn't even the first time I was touched against my will. 3rd grade, a boy asked me to be his valentine. I said no. He asked over and over again, and at one point he was on his knees sobbing. I finally said yes, even though I hated him. I just felt bad for him. the whole rest of the day, he would look up my skirt, touch me even when I told him not to, and he tried to kiss me. I slapped him, and he hated me for the rest of the year, which I didn't mind. But that doesn't change what happened. Same year, a few months later, my crush took notice to me. He started making s3x jokes to me, hugging me, and being really nice to me. I thought this was a good thing. One time, he actually asked me to.. I don't even want to say it. I declined his offer, and he screamed at me. I blamed myself. If i'd only done what he'd asked, I told myself. A few days after that, he touched me. a lot. I was stupid. I thought It was a good thing. I still haven't told anyone this, six years later. Most recently, in 6th grade, I was violated daily, and no one did anything about it, even blaming me, because this boy was "so sweet". He couldn't have possibly done something like that, especially not every day, right? well he did. I yelled at him when he tried to continue it into 7th grade, and everyone was mad at me. All I did was exist. I'm only 14 and I've already been Violated 3 times, the third time happening every day for a full year.
Under rated. I tell you under rated!
(Thank you for the playlist 😊)
I hate the fact that sometimes I don’t know if some things that happened to me in the past were even bad enough to be traumatic or if I’m just being dramatic.
I went to the desc like you said, read it and checked the timestamps. I saw "fear" and I got hyped up immediately skipped to it and I read "Currentjoys" I literally went "YESSS"
Tw: derealisation, self hate
Im stuck in the past. I don’t really think I’ll ever get out, I hate who I was before- but I can’t let it go. It all feels fake. Im so stupid. Im just burdening whoever is unfortunate enough to read this i should just suck it up, even if it all feels like a really bad fever dream.
anyways, creator how are you doing? your comforting everyone but how r u urself! I’m not trying to be pressuring btw, jst hpe ur alr 🫶🏼
ah man,
yeah, thinking about the past can very much hurt, and I believe you may be experiencing disassociation. if you have someone helping you, please tell them about this, if not I think you should definitely tell someone.
i honestly regret things I've done in the past as well and i always get so uncomfortable thinking about who I used to be and can't seem to forgive myself, but like everyone always tells me, what matters is I'm better and I'm a different person.
who we are and who we were , are definitely different people.
I really hope whatever it is you're going through you can get better! and don't feel like a burden or that you need to "suck it up", it's very unhealthy to bottle up your emotions, please try to talk to someone!
also tysm for asking, that made me really happy :,0 I'm doing ok!
and you're not pressuring me at all, dw! ^^ it's very kind of u to ask
Vent
TW/// s•h ideation & s*a
When I was 5 I was unfortunately sexu*lly assaulted by my biological father. I refused to say anything until this year when I brought it up to my mom, since it was years ago not much can be done. I still remembered what happened that night, and now teachers are asking me about a childhood I don’t have, or giving me assignments that I can’t answer. I feel like I can’t say anything…I don’t want to upset anyone with my problems, so I keep them inside. I can’t tell my partner either. It’s just too loud inside my scrambled head. I don’t know what to do. I want to release my pain in the best way I know how…even if it means I get hurt in the process…but I would disappoint if I did that…it hurts
please don't feel like a burden,
you're important and your feelings matter and the people who love you want to be there for you, don't be scared to vent when you need to. bottling up emotions is unhealthy.
there are people who love and care about you and they will always be there for you no matter what.
i hope you will be okay, I'm really sorry that happened. but just know you're a strong and important person. please stay safe!
I've always wanted to be able to have a normal childhood. Too bad that didn't happen 7 years ago. Instead, I endured one of the worst years of my life. I was stuck with my father, who ab*sed me verbally and physically. Maybe if I was able to have a normal childhood, then I wouldn't be so hard on myself to be the protector, the role model, and act my age for the sake of my younger siblings. Hopefully, this'll blow over soon in a way, and I'll be able to live normally without having to deal with this trauma.
Trauma can have a horrible affect on people, especially childhood trauma because we are still developing and things like that usually don't just go away by itself, it can affect you and even affect you as an adult! ( I'm hoping I'm not sounding rude I'm sorry if I am!)
But, please, try to reach out to someone and get help. It's important to be there for yourself. Talk to someone you trust (an adult figure since they're the only ones who can really do anything) and make them aware of how you're feeling and that you need help. Hope you'll be OK and be able to get help!! 🫂
Looking at everyone comments is crazy i mean it kinda makes me realize how little my truama was, i mean i was neglected and mentally abused by my father for seventeen years and he just left with me now turning eighteen and he choose to have another family :(
your trauma isn’t little. everyone goes through different things, but at the end of the day you’re still affected by it. im so sorry about your father, but im happy for you that he left, (hopefully) you’re safe now. him leaving shows that he wasn’t meant to be part of your life, but you will find someone who is, who will help you through all of it. give yourself some peace of mind
@@patrickbatemanscard tysm this is so sweet 😭 yeah I still can't believe I'm turning eighteen this year, and I survived this long and ilyt/p this means so much to me that you took the time to reply something as nice as this🩷
@@giyuusimpp ofc man 😭❤🩹 you needed it, i wish you the best!
@@patrickbatemanscard aww your so niceee 😭😭😭💗
Thanks for putting a tw, the first song scared me because i have headphones on ^_^'
I have a deep fear of kids my age. I used to live in a big city and couldn’t go to the park without being bullied. So I am very socially awkward and also isolated because of my homeschooling. When someone is nice to me I just feel like they pity me like I’m some pathetic little worm who has been stomped on and on the brink of death.
Vent
When I was 14 i got sent to a mental alysum for suicidal thoughts my mom flirted with the police so they said i wanted to k1ll people somewhere. I was locked for 5 months and there was no human rights no camera if you are not having powerful connections outside like a politician people become people pleasers so staffs wouldnt hurt them. They would flirt with girls there and stare at them weirdly i chopped my hair because of that but it didnt fully stop. I remember staffs not feeding kids and locking them up in their own room even if they wanted to go to the bathroom because they threw a tantrum they were like 5. Security guards would throw them on the ground very loudly and every single worker knew each other so nobody would report them they would even cover up for it. I remember my friend yelling at a man to get out of her room and to stay away from her bed and she said that he tried to open the door when she was showering her hair was drenching with soap and she changed asap and they locked the bathroom away from her because there was soap in her hair I hate everyone there they didnt let a girl go to the dentist for 2 months her teeth was rotting and then she ran away. I couldnt because i dont want a bad record but i heard shes doing well and got a job at a supermarket. I wish I escaped so Im not traumatized not being able to get into a prestigious college is better than being depressed.
I still feel his and her hands on my body. I told them to stop but they didn't. I felt slutty and disgusted. I didn't have a childhood. I was just 4. Why did they do that? Why didn't they stop? I always used to see them as my big brother and sister. What suddenly happened?
it wasn't your fault, it's awful that they did that ...
that's terrible.
did you tell your guardians??
is everything ok now?
and I know I say this literally all the time but if you're not getting help please reach out for help.
that is awful that you went through that and you deserve help. you're a very strong person, don't give up. you're important!
Wow this first song makes my brain feel funny, intro made me feel lightheaded, and i mean that in the best way possible XD
"Donnie, what did Roberta Sparrow say to you?
She said that every living creature on earth dies alone
How did that make you feel?
It reminded me of my dog, Callie. She died when I was eight. She crawled underneath the... the porch
To die?
To be alone
Do you feel alone right now?
I don't know. I mean I'd like to believe. I'm not, but I just... I've just never seen any proof so I... I just don't debate it anymore, you know? It's like, I could spend my whole life debating it over and over again weighing the pros and cons, and in the end I still wouldn't have any proof. So I just, I just don't debate it anymore. It's absurd.
The search for God is absurd?
It is if everyone dies alone
Does that scare you?
I don't wanna be alone"
This isn't really trauma but I just want to vent.
I am autistic and a part of a family that doesn't show love very well. Like I have never heard "I love you" or anything that indicates care for someone in my family. So it's no surprise to find out that I can't show love for my GF. Which sucks, I hate myself every time she says how she wants to cuddle and to be close and I just can't. we hold hands and hug but nothing else. I want to though, I just have no idea how to show that. I can't communicate well either and I'm constantly scared to say if I don't want to do something because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I actually keep thinking about breaking up with her because I don't want her to suffer being with me. But I love her and I just want to be selfish and be with her. I don't know, maybe this won't last and she'll end up leaving me. And I'll be happy so long as she is.
actually, that counts as trauma.
it's emotional neglect and it can really affect a child and affect them even in adulthood.
and with your gf, I think you guys should talk and be straightforward and honest with each other and set boundaries (that is a big part of being in a relationship after all).
also if you can, please try to reach out for help.
like I said, growing up being emotional neglected can actually really affect someone.
I hope you will be ok (and your gf too)!
@@oliesplaylistschannel I hope so too. I am working hard to be able to show emotions correctly. But it's tiring and I really don't want to stress over it. I just want to show my GF that I do love her. Also thanks, I never even thought of it as emotional neglect before. I'll try to get help once I'm ready.
edit: yeah. a vent. i'm rephrasing it because it just hit me how bad what she did is. i think right now she's on her third boyfriend, but this happened years ago.
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.
.
Shoutout to my six-year-old self being able to perfectly remember stories of my dad beating my brothers and mom, and how my brother's ex-girlfriend invaded our house and dragged me outside to her car in the dead of night to vent about her s-x life with my own brother. And proceed to tell the stories to an anonymous chatter who had been previously asking me questions like "How old are you?", "Are you a boy or girl?", "Do you want a boyfriend?" and, one of my -favourites- that I could remember, "Can you come to my house? If you want to?".
are you ok?? 😟
that is terrible I'm so sorry to hear that! if there's anything you need that i can do I'm here for you.
hope you're doing ok! ❤️
TW derealization, depersonalization, suicidal ideation, suicide attempts, near death experiences, mental illness
I deeply relate to traumacore because of all I’ve been through. When I was 9, I started showing symptoms of depression and anxiety. By 12, I was suicidal and was hearing voices that weren’t real. At about 14, I had to be hospitalized for depersonalization and suicidal thoughts. I had a plan too. I would go on to be hospitalized 8 more times from ages 14 to 19. One time was from a failed suicide attempt where I tried and failed to slit my wrists.
Voices in my head told me and still do tell me to hurt myself, to kill myself, and they try to tell me I’m not real. I’m stuck in a toxic relationship with myself. How can I leave when I can’t just abandon myself?
These thoughts got even worse when I almost died of an accidental overdose, but that’s a story for another time.
I’m diagnosed with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, and ptsd. I’m also autistic.
I’ll have to live off state aid because of how disabled I am. I need to be constantly stimulated or else I hallucinate, see things, hear things.. even feel sensations that are not real.
I just want to be normal, but I’ll never be normal. All I can do is take my medication and go to therapy.
I’m in near constant derealization and depersonalization at this point. I don’t know who I am anymore or even if I’m real. If anything is real.
I wish I was dead.
I've witnessed my parents during their respective addictions, I witnessed their toxic relationship, I overheard so much that I shouldn't have. But...they have made an effort to change and a part of me feels guilty for feeling the way I do.
But that other part of me knows that I deserved a better childhood and I'm at least happy my little brothers are having a happier childhood than I got. It's especially comforting because one of them is like me as a kid, so it's like seeing me finally getting the childhood I deserved
(tw: s-h)
Around 2 years ago, I’d cut myself. I had no reason for it, life was great, I had friends, family, and I was happy. I still don’t know the reason why I did but both arms were absolutely destroyed (the scars faded now) and no one knew. Never told a soul. It was during the winter so I had an excuse to wear long sleeves, besides gym at school, I would wear covers on them. I don’t think anyone cared to check. I once went swimming during that time and my arms were covered in white. My swim suit wasn’t long sleeves so I hid my arms behind my back for picture and in the water, barely noticeable. I was clean for over a year when life actually got hard, and so I relapsed. It went on for around a month but this time, I had a friend to talk about it to. She never knew what to say. I got the “I am sober” app and it helped so much. Around a week sober I decided to tell my other friend during a sport trip, she told the adults and my mom got me checked. (Don’t do what I did next if you are struggling) I lied the entire time and didn’t need help. I do sometimes not eat, cut blood circulation on my hand, bite my cheek and so on but I’m proud it’s not like before. Sadly a while back I tried inhaling Benadryl and stopped a week after because I forgot how to breathe after inhaling a good amount. My life’s now going well, yes maybe sometimes I break down and need support from friends, but I know that I’m stronger than that version of me and so are you! If you’re struggling mentally or in anyway, remember how much people care about you, and love you. If you think there’s no one, know that the one who wrote this (me) does!
I feel…like I’m not myself anymore, I don’t feel like myself anymore…whenever I do anything it’s just “(character that I wanna be) did this” “(character) did that”
When
Will
This
stop
???
are you getting help from a professional?? they could definitely help you if you tell them how you feel and what you're experiencing 😟
ok I have some shit here
So. 2019. I was just at school, hanging out with friends. We were talking about whatever, probably gossiping about the new drama. One of my friends started talking about how she overheard the teachers talking about a new disease. Covid-19. We all just laughed it off. That was in December, almost FIVE YEARS AGO. Time has been going by too damn fast. I feel so much hatred for myself and I just wish it would go away, even though I know it sure as hell isn’t. I suffered from an ED all during the quarantine time in 2020-2022 ish. Luckily I’m better now, but that was such a horrid feeling, looking in the mirror and seeing something that wasn’t really true. Tricking yourself into believing that you’re ugly, you’re not worth anything, and that you deserve to hurt. It’s not true, and I know that now, but then… it started again. Right as I was feeling okay, I was diagnosed with clinical depression and Autism. I realized why I was like this. I realized who I was. I was born this way. I was born a disappointment. This year of school I moved schools, and it’s so hard. My anxiety will not allow me another chance. I have an IEP and so everyone thinks that makes school a breeze for me. It doesn’t. I’m always just suffering in silence. When I was younger, I had the best fucking life. I took it for granted and was forced to grow up too quick. I’m a very lucky person, in the sense that I’ve never been SA’d or abused. Not physically, at least. I struggle with SH, and my parents don’t know. I’ve attempted twice, and still, my parents don’t know. I’m scared of what will happen if I tell them. I know that they’ll just blame themselves. It’s not their fault. It’s not my fault either. I have to keep reminding myself that it’s not my fault I’m like this. It’s everyone who’s hurt me, everyone who made me feel less than when I knew deep down I was fucking worth it.
You’re worth it too.❤
You are definitely worth it, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 💕
@@4u2do thank you so much. This means more than you know. You’re worth it too 💕💕❤️❤️🫶🫶
Thank you for this its amazing and I love the first song
I finally managed to call the SPH (Sucide Prevention Hotline) today
I'm pretty proud of myself
I needed to for so long
I don't have trauma, but damn. This playlist started with one of my favorite songs, I already know its gonna be good.
“I am here for you”
No you weren’t, you weren’t there when I cut my arm till it bleed, u weren’t there when I was planning to kill myself, you weren’t there for me as a child you didn’t raise me
You weren’t them when I was questioning my gender,
You ask why I never talk about my problems because when I did you called me selfish
Oh no...
Please don't harm yourself, if you plan on harming or ending yourself, please, contact the suicide hotline (988) right away!!
I'm sorry to hear you went through this... make sure to try to get help. If your guardian(s) won't get you help, talk to an adult at school such as a counselor and I'm sure they can do something for you! Take care of yourself... 🫂🫂🫂
@@oliesplaylistschannel I’m fine now been clean for a while but thank you ❤️❤️
@@Daedacc193 I'm very glad to hear that! :D
Reality twist, disconnection, mistakes, depression, delusional fear indused psychosis, coping. To stare at the ceiling, with it in your mind, unable to control thoughts fear endlessly, so potent, so pure.
I crave the pain I’m given. When it’s over I always want more. It’s never enough. My trauma will never be valid
TW!!// Vent and mentions of suicidal thoughts, SH, and SA,
I used to have a good friendship with someone and we got along well! And we were good friends at school. We talked on the bus about our interests and well i became friends with her!
Next school year we were in the same class!! I thought it was a good thing because we were good friends :] (turns out we weren't...)
And then... Me and her had our first fight.... (I cant remember what it was about but oh well) and well we got over it pretty quickly
Luckily lol.
But then things started to get a little worse... She started to embarrass me infront of alot of the bullies... Which made me say "why would you do that to me?? I thought we were friends" but she just said "hey they'll most likely forget about it lol" and i started to think i couldn't trust her alot...
Then she started to do even worse things.... She started ti make jokes about my insecurities and sent me a picture of dora on discord and said "look its u lol" and i started to think she wasn't the nicest "friend"
She started manipulating me and even fake dated another good friend of mine to make her happy and also was rude to my other really good friend... And then... It was my turn to have even more trauma... She did some really nasty things.... To me.. She and i were dating at the time...
I went to her house cus why not... (Big mistake) i went to her room and we had just yk a normal hang out
Watching stuff on her TV, hanging out, drawing... But then she said... The worst thing someone has *ever* said to me.... "Wanna play the firetruck game" ( if you dint know what that is... Its a game where someone runs their finget up your leg and if you say red light they stop right? No... Cus firetrucks dont stop a red lights... And it can lead to R@p3) so i was like "whats that? A game where we make firetruck sounds?? Cus that sounds funny af" she was like " you clearly never heard of it have you... " and so she told me and i was like "oh... I dunno if i wanna play that... " but she did it anyway... And i literally said no to her...
So she forced me to sot on her bed and started doing the thing..... And then when she got kinda close i did push her off me... And said "l-lets do something else... "
She said "fine" in an Annoyed way
After i left i was kinda nervous about tomorrow.
(Ima skip to some other parts cus yea...)
So i got a notification on one of my videos saying "i know what you did... And i honestly hate you alot now... " i was obviously confused on what was happening... So i looked at my notifications and saw a video about me... I clicked on it of course and guess what.... Somene made a rumor that i was a z00phile and f#ck3d my cat
And i started to cry alot.... Like alot
And i wss like "WHO DID THIS!?!? WHY WOULD SOMEONE SAY THAT ABOUT ME!?? " and i watched the video more... But guess what... The video was by one of my really good friends... Of course... But why would they do that???
But after that... I started to get alot of suicidal thoughts in my head... I wanted to drown myself... I wanted to slit my throat open... I wanted to die...
Then my "friend" said "___ are you ok!? " i said "NO... IM NOT OK.... ___ MADE A VIDEO SAYING THAT IM A DISGUSTING Z00PH1LE.. "
Later though... She did say at lunch that she kinda did believe it... And of course the other bullies also believed it....
(Ima skip to more parts cus im getting bored of writing this one😭😭)
Ok.. So it turns out that... The fake friend was manipulating my really good friend into saying that stuff...
Oh i also was cutting myself alot around that time.. So yea
Anyways
She was manipulating me and them to break our frienship apart cus she was jealous....
She also sent so many rude things to me on discord....
( i will write more later cus im getting tired.)
Edit time.. Yippee
One thing that happened on a discord call that made me very uncomfortable was
Her saying
"Hey ___ Can you send me n#d3z"
And that made me very uncomfortable.... So I obviously said
"EW... FUCK NO... "
so after that I left the call...
But then she tried to call me back like 10 times..
Then I was like "OK FINE.. I CALL YOU"
So then she said another thing that made me very uncomfortable as well....
"___, can you m0@n in the mic... I want to hear you m0@n please" i once again
Said "no I'm not doing that... It's weird so no.. " then she kept BEGGING AND BEGGING
Then I left the call again... And just
Laid in my bed hugging a plushy for comfort because of how uncomfortable I felt on that call....
Here's something that happened recently!
So I was at school and one of my friends told me a secret that my toxic friend told them...
She said (ima just call my toxic friend idk.. Beth..)
Anyway my friend said "Beth was only being your friend to use you and your gf for stuff..." And I was... Shocked and then I said "wait so she always hated me!? "And my friend said " yeah.. I guess so.. "
And I HATE my toxic friend with a *burning passion* ...
I hate them so much I don't even care what happens to them..... I'm sorry but I don't fucking care abt them.... They were SO HORRIBLE...
jeez, I honestly don't know what to say, that's a lot... that's messed up that they made you go through that.
are you away from those people now? are you getting help??
please don't end everything, you have so much to live for, a whole life ahead of you, amazing things could happen. you are loved and cared about and you're important. if you are feeling like ending your life, please, tell a guardian and get help for that.
I honestly am not that great at comforting but I want you to know that you didn't deserve this but you are important. and please don't harm yourself in any way.
I really really hope you will be ok!!
please, stay strong and seek help and be safe!
I'm sorry if I didn't help any, but I seriously want you to know you do deserve help and you are actually important! have a great day/night!
try to seek help if you aren't already it's important you get help!
@@oliesplaylistschannel I am doing a lot better now cus I did break my friendship with them .. But they're still in the same school as me sadly
But I do avoid her a lot
She is trying to be friends with me again but no.. I'm obviously not gonna be her friend cus it will just make me hurt again.
I have a relationship with a nice girl and she helped me out a lot! (Yes I'm in a lesbian relationship, I am bi, but I love her cus she's very nice to me)
But yea I don't talk to that toxic person but she does try to talk to me ;-;
I even saw her staring at me a few times... She did stare at me for a bit and I did have a small anxiety attack but my friends helped me
people on the internet are better then most parents tbh
--Vent--
TW: problably violence (not rly sure), bad english.
Well, recently, me, my mom and my siblings got through something rough, atleast to me. My "father" was realy abusive, he used to punch my mom and my older brother, while me and my brother (middle sibling) only listened to it. my whole family desenvoleped trauma in this time (it all started when i was like 6, maybe 9 years ago, not sure.). My mom was strong enough to call the police, even tho my dad ins't in jail, he can't go near us so it's okay ig, now we are okay, but this was dificult to stand. i'm usually very confortable to venting online, cuz yk, strangers.. but i hope you've read this all, and if your going through the same, fell free to vent, we are all here to listen, bye..
that is terrible.
I'm very glad to hear he isn't around to hurt you guys anymore but I am so sorry that happened to you and your family, that's rough...
are you doing ok rn? I'm really sorry, that can actually be very harmful for your mental well-being.
I hope things are better now and I hope you are ok and getting help!
@@oliesplaylistschannel yes i'm ok now, thank you
There's been so many times and so many people I don't know where to begin. They broke my mind and stained my soul, I hate them.
Like who does the shit that happened to me? Who rapes an infant? Who drugs a kid? Who waterboards a kid? Who suffocates a kid? Who burns a kid? Who beats a kid so hard they piss themselves well after they were toilet trained? Who poisons a child? Who constantly tells a child they're gonna burn in hell? Who forces a kindergarten child to look at graphic STD photos right before school? Who starves their child knowing the medicine they are on makes that dangerous? And most importantly, who does this to a kid that ALREADY has PTSD knowing they have that disorder? Who?????
@@ryannvolner2089 Oh dear Gods-- It sounds horrible, how are you doing right now?..
When I went to 5th grade, I thought my last year would be great. It turned out to be the worst year I've ever had. I became friends with a boy named Jorden, (and no I do not mind at all saying his real name.) he later sa'ed me. 5th grade is when my veey bad anxiety and stress started. 5th grade is when I was replaced, and lost most of my friends. 5th grade was one of the lonliest grades. Later, I became hypersexual. I got depressed. I had suicidal thoughts. I did self harm. No one ever noticed even when I don't wear long sleeves. I was the one who listened to other's problems, instead taking care of my own. A bad grade would absolutely kill me, if I even got an average, passing grade, I would always ask to retake it. I always wanted to be the highest, and the highest only. My long term substitute knew i had anxiety, she was the best but then my real teachers left and she was gone. So when break started, I felt so much better. Mosy of my bad habitats stopped. Everything was now okay.
But now I just realise,
It's just gonna repeat itself again.
Thank you for this playlist
I have a cousin who's low income, addicted to alcohol and extremely suicidal. Seeing all the cuts on their arms hurts my heart, but I have taught them to stay clean and they've been doing really well. I stay up to ungodly hours just to make sure they don't kill themselves. Which I do not blame them, it isn't their fault.
But I'm also my irl friend groups punching bag. I get hated on for everything and anything I do. It takes so much out of me.
I also have severe truama because I was hit by a car and groomed online and irl when I was younger. I have diagnosed PTSD.
My anxiety is getting worse, but it's already been bad because it's genetic.
I started high-school recently and it's been extremely tough. I'm already failing 2 classes because I don't understand anything. And nothing I do helps.
I'm currently in a bathroom crying i have been for an hour. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't know how much more I can take before I snap.
I don't want to be alive anymore. I don't want to be in pain anymore. Ever since I got hit by the car my life has only gone downhill.
I can't take it.
gosh, are they getting help? not to be rude or anything, I know you care about them, but in all honesty it's not your responsibility; it's theirs.
I understand you love and care about them but they shouldn't rely on you, they need to get help instead of relying on you.
You deserve a break, and as for your friend group. Please, stop talking to these people and try to make different friends, from what you have said they aren't really your friends, you deserve actual friends who treat you with the respect you deserve.
and are you seeing someone?? if you're not already getting help please reach out to someone.
hope you feel better soon.
My mom hates having a stupid child. I studied and try hard everyday, she never sees it, I'm so stupid for thinking she would see.
TW: DEREALIZATION AND DEPERSONALIZATION?
I had a good childhood, but for some reason I think to myself that I wish I will never ever exist.
Sometimes i got weirdcore theme dreams and even nostalgiacore theme dreams so I can see my past self and the nostalgic again. Which made my fragile heart ached for it..
*But why....why does life make me happy while i'm sad?*
I should've never existed instead of my sister.
At all.
But i also need to keep going, so I won't miss the life I shall experience soon.
Also, to anyone who read this... I hope you had a great life and had some help for u to overcome!
❤
Putting my trauma in point form:
…………………………………………………
-Molested (twice, from 10-14)
-Don’t know what I emotionally feel (ever since I was given meds)
-Perfectionist
-Abandonment Issues
-History of being taken advantage of
-Could possibly have a Personality Disorder
-History of suicide attempts (mostly they were overdoses)
-Now having trust Issues
-Was bullied mentally
-History of fake friends
-Teachers who tell me to do better
-Family Issues (mostly daddy issues)
-Having depression and anxiety
-I no longer SH (Or so I thought just recently got right back at it)
-A mother with high expectations
-Feeling pushed to do things for my mom because she too has depression
-A 8 year old brother who’s getting bullied for having autism
-Scared to get better because my parents might go back to paying attention to my brother and not to me.
-Putting others before myself
-Insecurities
(Rate my trauma)
So I was like 10-11 and I had this uncle around and I loved him he was fun and stuff like that, but I'm one day it was like he changed... We used to nag at each other and play around like mean little jokes until one day he touched me. And I don't mean little jokes I mean like he smacked my bottom and laughed about it, but 10 year old me didn't know anything weird wise so I smacked him back. But then almost every time I was alone somewhere in my grandmas house he would do it.. Nowhere near another person. But now that I'm thinking about it now, he scares me.. A couple of months later I turned 12 and more months passed and he came in the house without permission. So he says hi to me and left, he didn't say hi to nobody else.. So I'm why he did that but I know it wasn't good. Also a couple days ago I got a b in one of my classes and my dad hit me for it cause I was 'failing' and one time I was crying in my daycare when I was young and I got in trouble and sat in a small short cold yellow chair. I remember one time when I was like 5 he beat me bear, with his hand cause I couldn't write my name right. I remember one time he punched my stomach before and I coughed up blood before :3 then one time my father suffocated me and when he let go he laughed and walked off while I was chocking, not able to breathe. I feel like I dont do enough either but I'm doing better than I should be... (I'm not even 15 yet) :3
(Should I call cps?)
Hi, dear strangers
I just had an srgument with my mom. I still wish I never got used to staying silent. I would have cursed her out for everything she's done. And for everything she hasn't. I wish she actually cared about me. And that she'd stop playing the victim. So she'd stop lying to me, saying "I love you". Thelast thing she said to me just a few minutes ago was "I'm going to go and cry too, and I want you to think about everything I've said to you". She isn't crying. I can hear her. It isn't fair. Because I am. I'm crying. Why isn't she? She says it makes her feel terrible that my mental health is doing worse. She says I have to go to school. That I must do it. Even if she knows that I can't go an hour without a panic attack in there. That what she expects from me is too much. I burnt out, and now, she doesn't want me anymore. She wants her gifted daughter again. Not a depressed, anxious, self-loathing teenager. It isn't fair. I'm not her daughter. I'm her child. Yet she doesn't want me. She wants her daughter. The daughter that died the moment the expectations were too high to meet. Now I want to join her. I want to join that gifted little girl in Heaven, but I can't. My only safespace, the internet, with my friends, my favourite creators, my music, my life, is being taken away from me at the only time she isn't there to judge me, at night. She says she wants the best for me. I don't believe her anymore. If she wanted the best for me, she wouldn't do this to me. I don't understand her sometimes. She says she loves me. It's a lie. She loves the gifted little girl she wants me to be. I'm not her. I'll never be her again. She doesn't exist anymore. And it's my mom's fault. She said she and my dad can't afford me to "waste their money" by not going to school some days. The days when she ridicules me so much, I can't handle it. When I wake up in a panic attack. She sees that. And she still says I can handle it, and she's the one hurt most in this situation. I want her to see that she's wrong. But she can never admit to that. She's too insecure, needing constant validation that she's right no matter the situation. And it isn't fair.
Sometimes I wish she was never my mother. Sometimes I wish I was never born. Sometimes I wish my teachers never found out about my SH, so she would never know either. But it's not likeshe thought it was a big deal anyway. To her, my unstable mental health is just a phase. It isn't fair. It's never fair. Why is life so unfair to me? What did I do to deserve a life with a mother who pretends to care about me, when we both know she doesn't? It's her fault that I can't speak up, she trained me to be this way, so I'd never correct her in an argument. One day, I'll snap at her. I know I will. I can't hold it together forever. I just hope that day will come once I can leave this hell of a house. It isn't home. It's a house.
I hate her. I hate this house. I hate my life. Sometimes I wish I went into ongoing traffic that one time I was so close to it. Sometimes I wish I didn't back out right before I was about to lower my head under the water. Sometimes I wonder if she'll even cry if I did. I don't think she will. I have the chance to go grab a knife. I have a chance to go into the bathroom. Or into my room. That doesn't matter. I can lock myself in here. I can do what I always wanted to.
I can go to Heaven.
I'll see you all one day, strangers, I'll love you from Heaven. Don't repeat my mistake. Snap at them. Let them know how badly they hurt you. My name was RXQ. I wish it was. I hate my real name. Goodbye, and good luck.
I believe I had it better than some people. I went through it though still.
My dad was mentally and emotionally abusive. Very neglectful of me also. My mom tried to be a good mom but its hard to associate anything good because she was always working. He would lock me in my room all day until she got home. Because of that, I struggle with talking to others and tend to separate myself from everyone. I learned that I can only have myself. He was cruel in ways most wouldnt understand. He never yelled or hit me, but did a ton of damage anyway. I still struggle with my depression and no matter how much help I get, it doesnt help. i guess listening to these playlist calms me and helps me accept my childhood a little more every time. I am healing slowly.
22-23 worst year of my life,
I was stalked during my first semester ever as a college student then two semesters in a row with toxic friend groups who had a huge argument with each other and I had to break up with them
In my finals week currently and taking this spring semester off for reasons
*PS OLLIE GO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, TAKE ALL THE TIME YOU NEED AS A BREAK AS THIS LOOKS LIKE A VENTING CHANNEL (NO OFFENSE TO PEOPLE IN THE COMMENTS)BREATHE, TALK TO SOMEONE, REACH OUT TO CLOSE FRIENDS AND FAMILY, EAT SOMETHING IF YOU CAN, FOCUS ON SCHOOL AND ACADEMICS IF YOU ARE IN ACHOOL AND ABLE*
Oh no, I'm so sorry to hear that! :(( I hope you will get better and the break will help you. Also thank you for that, I have been feeling better and have been talking to friends and whatnot!! I appreciate it :,0
@@oliesplaylistschannel that you for that Ollie, it’s over and done with. Doing everything I can to move past it. I am also very glad that you are doing better too☺️❤️
@Lilyxxpancakes
I don't even have a bad family (I don't think so).
Why am I complaining?
I didn't have it as bad as the rest of you.
I don't deserve to complain.
I Didn't need to be called out by a playlist
I was friends with a 40+ year old online who know my adress. I’m scared.. he groomed me.
are you ok?? have you told your guardians??
@@oliesplaylistschannel they found out. But it’s ok now it was a year ago
@@-AV33- I'm glad you're safe! I'm sorry you went through that.
@@oliesplaylistschannel it’s okay 😊 and thank you
Oh dear...
2020-2023...
My cat and dog died during this period. My great grandfather died. My depression and anxiety peaked. I stay in my room all day long. I don't speak to my parents often anymore.
oh no...
would you be comfortable asking them for therapy maybe?
it might help?
@@oliesplaylistschannel My school counselor let them know that I was going through things and it's been almost a year and they've done nothing. Pretty sure they've forgotten even though all my siblings have had therapists.
@@theonlykazushige please remind them whenever you get the chance. it's important you get help too.
@@oliesplaylistschannel I guess I can try and remind them again. I just hope they don't forget again.
I was ruined. I was hurt so badly by others they ruined me as a person. I developed a mental illness that makes me a bad person and now rightfully so I have nobody. All I want is to be loved but because I was never given love I don’t know how to so I will never have the thing I truly want most in the world. I just want it all to end, I’m so tired of being abandoned over and over, I’m so tired of being lonely 💔
Idk why im venting to a bunch of people on the internet but here we go. i have anemoia. i wish i was in a different body especially because i hate my life. my parents say im " just being sad". oh yea? then why did i SH? this is so stupid.
i really hate to hear that you go through this.
please, try seeking help and don't SH,
do something different to distract you. try using healthy coping mechanisms.
I hope you will be ok.. 🫂
if you get a bad gut feeling about it; don't do it. i was going to learn swimming and really didnt have a good feeling about it, long story short. we were learning how to dive and i got scared so instead of letting me go the guard pushed me in. mind you i was 5 and didn't know how to swim. quit right after that.
I listen to trauma core as a coping mechanism and i still caln ot an aesthetic
**when my dad left when I was two but he loved a stepdaughter more than he loved you**
are you ok..? 🫂
0h g0d the start where they went wee woo wee woo through the ear felt so good siojdfusdhoudf
I feel safe in this playlist
I have came to the terms that I'm not normal and that I'll never be normal. And it's all because of my uncle. I hate him. He took away my childhood, and nothing can bring it back. I hate that he got away with it and how my father believes his brother more than his own child. I hate being so easy to manipulate and so naive as a child. I wish I could go to young me warn myself about him. I hate his guts. I hate everything about him. I hate myself for being so stupid as a child. I hate everything about myself cause of him
don't hate yourself.
I'm so sorry you had to go through that,
but it wasn't your fault. are you doing ok?
I say this all the time but are you getting help? if not please try to reach out to someone.
you're loved, everything will be ok.
you're a good person! ❤️
@@oliesplaylistschannel thank you, im doing better but sometimes we do have to visit him so I just to stay back and or go to my cousins room. I am getting help but I never saying who did it.
@@XxTommy_xX I honestly think it would probably be good to tell them who did it but at the same time it's completely up to you and I know it must be really difficult.
but I think he deserves to face the consequences of his actions so if you tell them he will at least be questioned and maybe even caught.
but like I said, it is up to you, I'm not forcing you to do anything!
I am so glad you are getting help and doing better btw that's great!!
I hope you have a great future! you deserve to be happy!
@@oliesplaylistschannel im really doing better, i have a boyfriend, I have friends who support me, Im in theatre. but it still aches. but im goign to tell who, thank you so much for helping me out
im still a child
maybe mum and dad are right
"ive been through nothing"
i dont deserve to cry
i have no reason to hate myself or commit.
i wish i could belive that
This is what I needed
I wish I could be happy and forget everything bc I'm tired to face everyday what I did, even if at first it wasn't my fault, I wish I could love my parents properly
I guess I’ve felt suicidal and stuff since I was in fourth grade. I was bullied a lot, verbally and emotionally abused, and have attempted several times. I could be the happiest person lighting up a room and then I could go home and contemplate how I’d end my life that night. I’m Christian and believe that I can get through this through faith, but if your parents tell you that you just gotta pray it away and dismiss it almost, it’s discouraging. Why can’t I be normal? Why can’t I be happy and innocent like I used to be? Why is loving myself such a challenge? I hate everything about myself and I wish that I could be anyone else but me. Sorry to randomly vent to strangers, I’m just hurting a lot tbh.
I just feel bad, because I was bullied a lot and I never knew why so I just not include myself in nothing and did not talked to no one. It worked, but I noticed that this was hurting me. Now I have a best friend, but her grandma died (she lived with her), she was abused by her father and bullied alot too, so she haves anxiety and I feel so bad for not helping her...
It's been hard lately, trying to keep ourselves together. Our dad wasn't the best man in the world and we didn't know him much. We sort of became our moms champion and the expecations my family had for me from the time she left my a**seive dad became a lot for us to handle lately, as well as coming to terms with our teenhood and how messed up it left us in terms of relationships and affection. Sorry its like 2 AM and we've just been staring at the ceiling all night. What we are trying to say is, it's going to be okay.
I'm sorry you guys are going through that, I'm hoping you guys will be okay.! Try to reach out for help if you guys aren't already getting help and take care of yourselves! 🫂❤❤
TW: Vent
(I just wanna take it off my chest)
I havent really told anyone what happened to me, im not sure if it counts as SA since it wasnt directly but i do feel assulted by it
To tell, it started when i was around 11. I wouldnt have attention from my parents due to their own arguments and i started avoiding myself from my family, i felt lonely and i decided to find comfort by talking with other people online
One day, i got attached to this man (i wont mention name) i knew he was older but i thought id be comforted, he started talking about uncomfortable topics (iykyk) which made me really uncomfortable but he threaten me that if i didnt send pictures of myself or do things for him he would block me
I was scared but i didnt wanna keep losing people so i did as he said until a few weeks that i got tired and dissapeqred from him
Thats when I started having strong hypersexual feelings and seeing myself as an object for others, i kept doing the same thing, s€xualizing myself and sending pictures and videos of me just so I would have attention and compliments
Until i turned 15 that i knew i had to stop
Im 16 now but sometimes i struggle to value myself as a real human being than just an object, and its hard for me to believe people wont love me unless its for my body
I regret everything I did and wished that wouldnt have happen cause now I cant get those things of my head and knowing I was 11 makes me disgusted but bad for myself despite it was my own fault
People struggle with hypersexuality, and it’s not just sometimes, it’s mostly all the time. I understand how hard it can be for people with hypersexuality, and I’m so sorry it happened to you. I’m just glad you left that horrible man, but don’t hate yourself for it.
You matter, and you deserve a break. Ily, stay strong, and safe 💕❤
@@4u2do Thank you for those words, even if it's been a year basically its really hard for me
I struggle to see myself as a real person and only an object for other people pleasures
I just wanna see myself more than someone for other people's satisfaction
I never knew i was traumatic ever since i saw the hidden trauma vid
I feel like I’m worth nothing…I always am left alone in my life I only get called when people need me and I almost never leave my bed I cry myself to sleep at times and I try to put myself out there putting a smile on my face…But I just simply get ignored…When I call my friends they always are busy to the point where I think they are avoiding me…when I try to say something about it I simply get responses like “Others have lots of things to do” and it just sucks! I get no response to my crying or begging…I just want to get what I give…Love and support…
Bruh that made me cry again after I was crying for two hours I don’t understand why mothers like this they hurt you really bad but you can’t hate them but rn I don’t even want to hug her or do anything with her or even touch her after what she did to me I can’t believe a mother would abu$e they’re child like this how can a person be this heartless? I’m not even a child and I didn’t do anything wrong to deserve to be treated that bad what hurts more that my own parents can’t give me the care understanding and safeness they should give me as their child who would?
For some reason, I can't remember my childhood, and i feel like nothing's real. I get irritated easily, yet i feel empty, like my personality is fake. I'm scared of waking up one day and finding it was all fake. I can only remember brief moments of crying and saying sorry.
Have a wonderful summer