A narcissist's "need" for "vengeance" (as they see it) for the smallest "slight" (narcissistic injury) reminds me of the story of Moby Dick where Captain Ahab is so obsessed with destroying the great white whale that he is basically losing his mind, and he spends every waking moment spent on hunting down and destroying his target no matter the cost. He can't even think of anything else and spends no time or effort doing anything else. His single focus is ONLY his vengeance on the whale, as it is the ONLY thing that matters to him. And in the end, it finally destroys him. Even warned to stop by others around him who can see his eventual destruction and the cost that everyone around him will also pay for his obsession, he continues anyway until his own destruction by his own actions. Because his own life and the life of everyone around him was irrelevant compared to his need for vengeance. His need to destroy the whale ended up destroying himself and everyone around him instead.
This is me, at least in my mind. I keep having 'lapses' in terms of a response of extreme vindictiveness to the harm I've been caused by narcissistic individuals all my life. Revenge will change nothing. Instead, I am going to live life to the fullest and become very stoic.
The last time I seen my father in person when I was visiting him once on an army outing, and time passed and I was about to miss the train. He was presented me his last grandiosely generous act towards me and drove me 100km away to the military base. After a few months when I become free again there was one short telephone call between us: I told him a big "no". I'm not going to finish the university. I'm not going to go on his path. He said "fuck off and call me next time when you come here." It made my decision so easy. It was 20 years ago that I did a no-contact. And it was 4 years ago when I discovered that it is called no-contact.
My father was as cold as this he destroyed a family i am 60 now and my family hasn't changed all in competition with each other for a love they will never find that was my fathers legacy a narcissist till the very end
Mine stalked me for 7 years attempting to destroy every aspects of my life after I ended our short marriage. Their behaviour changed overnight as the masked slipped. I saw right through it and escaped. They never forgave me and even moved in next door with another woman to continue their campaign. I never once faltered or allowed it to bring me down. The smear campaign was horrific but by ignoring it and continuing to grow my life it eventually destroyed them. They died alone shortly after I served divorce papers 7 years after seperation. They tried every method under the sun to get my attention, by goading, mocking and baiting.
I know someone-a doctor, actually. I knew him in a work capacity only. Initially, he was v charming and accommodating. I soon learnt he was going through a difficult divorce and there was a child involved. Not easy so i tried to ensure his work would support him. In time, the charming mask started to slip and he spoke of wanting custody of his son, primarily to punish his ex-wife. He never spoke of missing his little boy, nor any other reason for wanting him, other than to spite his ex. This, in spite of having a new partner by then, who was also pregnant. Eventually, his growing hostility bled into his work and he lost his job. Still unable to take responsibilty for his actions, he now has 2 sons, both at a school for children with challenging behaviour. His 2nd relationship broke up too. He has irreversably damaged his own career and relationships and can only have supervised visits with his sons. And still, he seeks vengeance on his ex wife, only now the list has grown and includes everyone else, too.
A man I know, many years ago, left his partner and young daughter for a short fling with his ex-wife. Months later, he dumped her. When asked, he said he had done all of it to get revenge on his ex-wife for having initiated the divorce years prior. He had a child with her as well, who was really hurt by the false promise of his parents reuniting. His current partner and child were devastated as well, obviously. Whether this is why he did it or not, he thought it was normal to say it.
Their selfishness and self-centeredness knows no limits. Any pain caused to surrounding people is mere collateral damage in getting their needs met and self soothing any internal pain of their own.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Not for me to pity you bc I know that doesn’t help n not that I can truly relate so this doesn’t threaten you in any way. You are not an empty shell and I can understand why (in part) you have come to this conclusion. So much loss in such a short time.
What about when the covert narcissist cannot get a certain person and they experience heartbreak. What if that person is a narcissist also and injured them and they pine for that person. Will they keep trying. What type of injury does that cause?
It also causes a narcissistic injury. From my experience, they'll stalk and find your whereabouts and associates and assert themselves, even as far attempt ing to date your friends or become business partners to compete.
Prof,i lasshed out on my ex narc badly and exposed her bad behavour on social media so bad that she had to stop using some of her social media account but after some of you lectures i wished i will have 😢manage the situation on her cos i really dont like hurting people,she ghosted me for the second time and lied when i called call her and i got very angry and heartbroken i could not hold back and i attacked her badly,criticise her looks and bad habits then discard her and move on. So when i noticed that the damage i did to her was to much i really felt back and call her and apologis for my actions not to go back to her,i know she caused me pain but i hope that will help her modify or see her true self.
🔃 orang yang beriman.. Thats why..... 🌏 Make sense ya hidup seorang NARC 🌏 yg immortal 🙅 Jadi 10miliar ini 📶🌏 aisshh.. Bukan asal klaim secara sepihak karena suka tidak suka/kebutuhan.. Mengedukasi sekali untuk orang awam yang belum tahu NARC 🙏 thx
A narcissist's "need" for "vengeance" (as they see it) for the smallest "slight" (narcissistic injury) reminds me of the story of Moby Dick where Captain Ahab is so obsessed with destroying the great white whale that he is basically losing his mind, and he spends every waking moment spent on hunting down and destroying his target no matter the cost. He can't even think of anything else and spends no time or effort doing anything else. His single focus is ONLY his vengeance on the whale, as it is the ONLY thing that matters to him. And in the end, it finally destroys him. Even warned to stop by others around him who can see his eventual destruction and the cost that everyone around him will also pay for his obsession, he continues anyway until his own destruction by his own actions. Because his own life and the life of everyone around him was irrelevant compared to his need for vengeance. His need to destroy the whale ended up destroying himself and everyone around him instead.
This is me, at least in my mind. I keep having 'lapses' in terms of a response of extreme vindictiveness to the harm I've been caused by narcissistic individuals all my life. Revenge will change nothing. Instead, I am going to live life to the fullest and become very stoic.
Beautifully written, dear Sir.
The last time I seen my father in person when I was visiting him once on an army outing, and time passed and I was about to miss the train. He was presented me his last grandiosely generous act towards me and drove me 100km away to the military base.
After a few months when I become free again there was one short telephone call between us: I told him a big "no". I'm not going to finish the university. I'm not going to go on his path. He said "fuck off and call me next time when you come here."
It made my decision so easy. It was 20 years ago that I did a no-contact.
And it was 4 years ago when I discovered that it is called no-contact.
My father was as cold as this he destroyed a family i am 60 now and my family hasn't changed all in competition with each other for a love they will never find that was my fathers legacy a narcissist till the very end
Thank you for reading us your story! I would love it if you could read us more.
Visit the short fiction playlist on this channel.
Your stories are spellbinding, as well as illuminating. You are a very talented writer.
A death by silence.
Professor, you are a man of many talents. I thoroughly enjoyed this, you have a remarkable way with words. Thank you.
That's because he is a Narcissist
A great talent for engaging storytelling and narration you have Prof. Vaknin.
Thank you for sharing your story Prof. Vaknin 🙏🏼🧡
😮 thanks for the warning. I had no idea he's that dangerous, but only you describe him perfectly.
Beautifully explained, thank you 😊
Mine stalked me for 7 years attempting to destroy every aspects of my life after I ended our short marriage. Their behaviour changed overnight as the masked slipped. I saw right through it and escaped. They never forgave me and even moved in next door with another woman to continue their campaign. I never once faltered or allowed it to bring me down. The smear campaign was horrific but by ignoring it and continuing to grow my life it eventually destroyed them. They died alone shortly after I served divorce papers 7 years after seperation. They tried every method under the sun to get my attention, by goading, mocking and baiting.
My story is very similar to yours. You are not alone.
I know someone-a doctor, actually. I knew him in a work capacity only. Initially, he was v charming and accommodating. I soon learnt he was going through a difficult divorce and there was a child involved. Not easy so i tried to ensure his work would support him. In time, the charming mask started to slip and he spoke of wanting custody of his son, primarily to punish his ex-wife. He never spoke of missing his little boy, nor any other reason for wanting him, other than to spite his ex. This, in spite of having a new partner by then, who was also pregnant. Eventually, his growing hostility bled into his work and he lost his job. Still unable to take responsibilty for his actions, he now has 2 sons, both at a school for children with challenging behaviour. His 2nd relationship broke up too. He has irreversably damaged his own career and relationships and can only have supervised visits with his sons. And still, he seeks vengeance on his ex wife, only now the list has grown and includes everyone else, too.
who cares? WHY are you offering him love? What's wrong with you
A man I know, many years ago, left his partner and young daughter for a short fling with his ex-wife. Months later, he dumped her. When asked, he said he had done all of it to get revenge on his ex-wife for having initiated the divorce years prior. He had a child with her as well, who was really hurt by the false promise of his parents reuniting. His current partner and child were devastated as well, obviously. Whether this is why he did it or not, he thought it was normal to say it.
Wow.... 😮 that's absolutely evil doing that. Especially to the kids x
Their selfishness and self-centeredness knows no limits. Any pain caused to surrounding people is mere collateral damage in getting their needs met and self soothing any internal pain of their own.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. Not for me to pity you bc I know that doesn’t help n not that I can truly relate so this doesn’t threaten you in any way. You are not an empty shell and I can understand why (in part) you have come to this conclusion. So much loss in such a short time.
Sam you write beautifully, I envisage the scenes, and you read it even more beautiful. You are indeed talented.
Your descriptions evocative artistry.
Thank you for that beautifully written story ❤
This reminds me of my father 😢 ..facing the naked wall ..always.
Speechless!
May I make a request could you do a video about high sensitive people , tips to cope
What about when the covert narcissist cannot get a certain person and they experience heartbreak. What if that person is a narcissist also and injured them and they pine for that person. Will they keep trying. What type of injury does that cause?
It also causes a narcissistic injury. From my experience, they'll stalk and find your whereabouts and associates and assert themselves, even as far attempt ing to date your friends or become business partners to compete.
Thank you Prof.
Sounds like my family story with the seafaring adventurous uncle, the perceived traitor, the curses, and the sad endings.
Prof,i lasshed out on my ex narc badly and exposed her bad behavour on social media so bad that she had to stop using some of her social media account but after some of you lectures i wished i will have 😢manage the situation on her cos i really dont like hurting people,she ghosted me for the second time and lied when i called call her and i got very angry and heartbroken i could not hold back and i attacked her badly,criticise her looks and bad habits then discard her and move on.
So when i noticed that the damage i did to her was to much i really felt back and call her and apologis for my actions not to go back to her,i know she caused me pain but i hope that will help her modify or see her true self.
Vero!
You make me want to read books again!
Lol
Yay, story time 😊
אוי
״אני לפחות אלוהים..״ הכריז בכאב הנרקיסיסט…😢
❤Touching
extremely well written.
I loved this!
Man, you’re a good writer!
Great video!
Professor please talk about gang stalking
Wow.
Ata pashut Gadol, Gever :) I love your perspectives
🔃 orang yang beriman..
Thats why..... 🌏
Make sense ya hidup seorang NARC 🌏 yg immortal 🙅
Jadi 10miliar ini 📶🌏 aisshh..
Bukan asal klaim secara sepihak karena suka tidak suka/kebutuhan..
Mengedukasi sekali untuk orang awam yang belum tahu NARC 🙏 thx
It s hilarious, it s a girl that wanted my life, it s funny 🤣
The dong Behind Blue Eyes by LimpBiscuit...says it all too ..
It must be my lucky life
She