What is Sexual Narcissism?
Вставка
- Опубліковано 23 лис 2023
- Have you ever encountered a sexual narcisist? A sexual narcissist is a person who exhibits traits of narcissism, a personality disorder characterized by an exaggerated sense of self-importance, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others, particularly in the context of intimate or sexual relationships.
Researcher/Writer: Brie Villanueva
Editor: Caitlin McColl
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Voice Over: Amanda Silvera ( / amandasilvera )
Thumbnail Designer: Zuzia
Animation: Muted Marcus ( / @muted_marcus )
Project Manager: Cindy Cheong
DISCLAIMER: This video isn't meant to diagnose any individual. If you believe you or someone you know may be a sexual narcissist, please reach out to a trusted mental health professional.
References:
APA Dictionary of Psychology. (n.d.). dictionary.apa.org/narcissistic-personality-disorder
Ni, P., M. S. B. A. (2015, April 5). 8 Signs You’re in a Relationship With a Sexual Narcissist. Psychology Today. Retrieved from www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/communication-success/201504/8-signs-youre-in-relationship-sexual-narcissist
Brown, P. (2021, October 19). What to know about sexual narcissism. www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/sexual-narcissist-definition-signs-and-complications
Me, an asexual who has no intentions on ever having sex: 👀👀👀
LMAO SAME
Same! I'm curious what a sexual narcissist is.
Like fr same here
6 days ago??? When did you EVEN GET HERE? Also same
I’m asexual and had sex but oh dear did i not like it
Had an ex who was a sexual narcissist. It's traumatizing how they could manipulate you with coercion especially if you're incredibly vulnerable and just wanted some sort of love and validation from them because you were raised without it.
Even if I'm in a happy and healthier relationship now, it definitely left a horrible mark on me.
It's an incompatibility. I'm so happy you found someone better suited to you.
Omg… I can imagine that
It’s horrible
This same thing also happened to me.
I pray your trauma will one day leave and never return! Stay happy and safe and that should help with most of the trauma!
This! I broke up with my last partner for many reasons, but this was one of the big ones. The final straw was when I was mourning the unexpected loss of my dog and instead of being there for me he said I wasn’t spending enough time with him and he wanted to open up the relationship but only on his side :)))))
Thankfully I have recently begun dating someone who respects me and truly loves me, but damn sometimes I revert into walking on eggshells when I don’t actually have to, or I’m paranoid about seeming like my ex regarding sex. I never want to disrespect anyone like I was, ever
Looking at myself, I can have some sexually narcissistic tendencies at times if I'm being completely honest. I think (part of) this likely stems from being sexually abused as a kid and (emotional) neglect during childhood, as any sort of sexual rejection triggers strong feelings of (perceived) abandonment in me (I'm diagnosed with BPD), which is made even worse by increased rejection sensitivity related to ADHD. I've recently been able to therapy though, so I'll be sure to bring this up during one of our sessions so I can hopefully start working on this, as it really sucks and makes me feel quite guilty and bad about myself for being so selfish at times.
Nice how you can own up to it. Not many people do.
Appreciate your steps toward nicer behaviour.
I'd suggest to give the observer in you an important role.
First ypu recognise it years afterwards, then days, then hours, etc. And one day you'll correct yourself (almost) immediately.
People don't have a right to each others time/attention/body.
When you know what a great joy it is to make love when both feel safe and relaxed in the relationship.
Wanting the best for each other witthout "ownership".
Keep up the good work, raise your conscienceness❤
PRAISE BE IT SALHA DEEN AND HIS INFELDEL ARMY!!!!!
A 3RD PERSON ADMITTED SOMETHING BAD!!!!!!
AND SELF OBSORBED!!!!!!
(EXTREMELY RARE/BECAUSE OVBIOS.).
@@Alexandra-zu6gi Sorry for the wall of text, ADHD brain got a little carried away lol, but I'll add a tldr at the bottom.
TW: Mentions of substance abuse and CSA
Yeah, this is something I've been working on a lot over the last 2 years or so. I spent the last 15-20 years of my life quite heavily dissociated for a variety of reasons which (partially) led to me having very little self-awareness (maybe partially made worse by autism too I think) which just got worse the last few years due to substance abuse issues and my dad not accepting me as trans.
It was only after starting HRT and sobering up that I started breaking out of that dissociation more and more and that I started becoming a bit more aware of my issues, but it was more just very general stuff still (e.g. hey I might have BPD, hey I have avoidance issues). Then after meeting my current gf and learning through her that a lot of stuff that happened during my childhood was not normal/acceptable, things really got rolling as I started to look more into trauma, trauma responses, attachment etc. and trying to observe and analyse my patterns (just general (BPD) patterns though, not really sexual ones, as that's more a thing of the last 1-2 months for me). I've made a lot of progress so far and usually realise my mistake within a few minutes to an hour or so now, and I've even sometimes started catching myself in time now before sending/saying/doing something I shouldn't. I do still have my moments where I slip up, but things have improved a lot even compared to half a year ago. My plan is now to also start doing this more when it comes to sexual stuff specifically.
Sex/porn has always been one of my main coping mechanisms since my early teens already, which just got way worse in combination with my substance abuse, so it's been a very hard thing for me to tackle and be honest about with myself, especially cause there's a lot of shame and guilt attached to it (probably also related to my CSA), which only just perpetuates the cycle. (It's a similar story when it comes to my substance abuse issues tbh.) I very recently stopped smoking weed again, partially because I felt it was making my sexual behaviours worse.
After watching this video yesterday and doing a bunch more thinking while doing my dishes, I wrote a bunch of stuff down that I plan to share with my therapist and also with my gf to start opening up about some of my unhealthy behaviours and what things I believe to play a role in them so I can also start to address the underlying issues so I hopefully can start to break this horrible cycle.
TLDR: I had very little self-awareness for years (partially) due to dissociation because shitty childhood. I started to become more aware of things in my early 20s and started my healing journey about 2 years ago. I Have made a lot of progress so far with learning to observe myself and spot and understand unhealthy (BPD) patterns and even catching myself in time sometimes now. I've recently started to try and extend this to other areas as well like sex and substance (ab)use. I did some thinking and wrote down a bunch of things relating to this to open up about them to my therapist and my GF so I can start to break the cycle of shame and indulgence.
EDIT: Just wanted to add that a video that's really helped me when it comes to some of this stuff was Dr. K's video on habits. I'll link it here in case anyone wants to check it out: ua-cam.com/video/498-bf2BhgQ/v-deo.html
Nice profile picture dude. Deadwing.
“You do not owe anyone anything sexually” more truer words I have heard + so creepily said😮
Holy crap, yeah I met one. Bragging to me how the married mommas on his street can’t get enough of him. I told him straight up how selfish he was and how he was hurting their children by helping destroy the marriage of their parents. He never came back, and stopped looking at me, which was a relief.
💯
If adultery was a person, it would be him.
i would've added "and at the end of the day who'll stand for you?"
You did exactly the right thing. Clearly was lacking any morals
He was definitely lying 😂
I was a sexual narcissist in my previous relationship and I feel so disgusted by myself because of that. I've been afraid of myself for a long time now because of it, I don't trust myself nearly as much as I used to because I couldn't even stop hurting the person that I loved. I'm moving on and trying to learn from that experience, I'm in a new relationship and I'm just trying to build a stable foundation, but I'm still so afraid of making the same mistakes. Back then even when I knew what I was doing was wrong when I was in the moment my mind just kind of turned off, I started prioritizing my own needs and I'm just trying so hard to prevent that from happening again. When you go into a relationship you have to figure out what you really value and be honest with your partner about it and put in the work to upkeep your values. So don't make the same mistake as I did, because it can really traumatize both parties. Just figure out what sexual intimacy actually means to you, and make sure you don't break your values just for pleasure.
I appreciate every word of this so much.
Don't worry man we all go through our own sins
So the other replies on this are hidden from me. Which sucks. Best to everyone.
I appreciate your honesty and self-reflection. It takes a lot of courage to acknowledge past mistakes and actively work towards personal growth. I want to reassure you that you have the strength to navigate through this process. Fear no more and believe in the positive changes within yourself.💚
Hope you try therapy
I always respected my ex girlfriend's boundaries. Sure I was interested in having fun with her but if she wasn't in the mood I would be cool with it. We were good at direct conversation with each other. Trying to manipulate anyone into a something sexual is just creepy and makes people wanna stay away from you. Be clear and direct about what you want from the relationship but always get consent and respect their boundaries. If your unhappy with the way your relationship is going move on and find someone you are more compatible with. Your relationship is never gonna go anywhere keeping secrets and being dishonest with each other.
So true
Thank you, Psych2go, for sharing this video. I have met a sexual narcissist. I was sexually assaulted by a boy who would pull down my clothes and pull down his own aswell. We were both underage and he didn't care about my discomfort- just about him abusing me. He was a spoiled child who would LITERALLY be spoonfed by his mommy and daddy ugh 😩
As an adult, I'm in therapy with clinical depression and anxiety and am slowly recovering. I have also had bariatic surgery a year prior and lost a lot of weight. I went out of the country. My education and health got better, but due to social isolation and abuse from mt relatives my mental health got worse and worse and I began to suffer. I'd like to share the perspective that "sexual narcissists" can be rapists, pedophiles and marital abusers. My uncle was a pedophile to me and has two wives; he forces the second one to dress a certain way and used her body only to have children because the first couldn't have children. He mistreats and downplays women and did this to me, too. He is also a sexual narcissist in different definition. What do you think of my perspective and story?
I am boy the opposite happened to me
@@rileyowen7245 I'm sorry to hear that. Sexual harrasment can happen from or to people of any gender. I encourage you to reach out to a trusted love one +/ mental health professional if this is affecting your life. Have you reported it, just by the way? If it's a recent incidence and the offender is old enough, probably report it and they'd be in trouble :)
That's rape, sounds like a psychopath. I hope you're getting proper therapy for this. You really need it. I hope my comment helps you as you're awesome ❤
@@tims9434 Thank you for your sympathy. Yes, now I am getting proper therapy and mental health support.
That must have been AWFUL to go through. I hope life got better now and that you'll be able to recover. You're extremely strong, you made it through all shit, I hope you realize that.
As an autistic, bisexual man, I'm probably demisexual because I would never consider sexual activity unless I absolutely trusted someone and had a level of romantic commitment.
Moreover, so far, people I've met that I could have feasibly dated were downright evil, so I've kind of given up on dating. My standards are basic human decency, and I won't settle for abusive.
Same here
Its so strange to me the fact that demisexual is rare, for me its like the most normal thing
I relate a LOT with that, also as someone on the autism spectrum. Hell, I don't even know what my identity label is and I don't know how people get the confidence to understand that. Granted, I have zero experience with others, so that's probably why. That aside, I mainly just want to say here that you're hella on-point. Don't settle for anything less than basic human decency! And if that meant nobody was left, well it sucks to be any of the people excluded from that rule because they're clearly not decent. Never settle! I'm not, and rushing to get with a partner that just winds up treating you like shit is a terrible way to live life. Heck with society's push to get in a relationship asap, it's just dumb like all society push is.
Tf is demisexual? I'm the same but doubt I'm autistic, at least not enough to impact me much, and I wouldn't go as far as bisexual, and I just considered this preference and/or common sense.
@@Pond721 they say "demisexual" means "people who don't feel sexual desire before romantic feelings develop"
I call that "normal people"
In my opinion, normal people don't seek sexual activity with strangers, and I don't consider toxic hookup culture to be "normal"
@Brambrew Hmm, well I can feel sexually attracted to a girl without romantic attraction, but I don't have any desire to do anything without romantic attraction, so I guess that counts. I also hate this hookup culture, it's shallow. Hate that I'll be seen as weird for having no experience because I refuse to hook up with a random person.
Ladies, just so you know, sex is not all us males think about, and there are even some males that do not like/want sex at all.
Where can one find such
Well my mother is both, NPD and sexual narc. I was exposed to sex as early as 4. It was normal for me to walk-in on my mother having sex with some random man. When I told her, as a child, her loud sex kept me up, she thought it was funny. If guy didn’t sleep with her on the first day, she said he was gay. She would brag about how amazing her p was. How she gave great BJs to the point men would pay her for it. She thought that was a complement. She told me at 13 she wanted to be a professional sex worker instead of doing part time for fun. Mind you, she had a well paying job at the time, but wanted to have sex with random men for fun and money. She cheated on my stepdad with over 10 dudes, got pregnant multiple times until we moved to Arkansas and she was forced to have my baby brother ( not my stepdad’s bio kid) but she lied to him about that. There’s way more, and yes, I grew up with mixed and distorted messages about sex.
MY GOD this woman sounds messed up. Needing that much validation from such shady sources means she is either deeply traumatised and/or (probably both) severly personalty-disordered. I hope you were able to get away from this person as far as possible ❤
I have a friend who I think is a sexual narcissist. When She First approached me basically She was love bombing me all the time and this eventually involved sexual matters. She needed validation from me because her boyfriend wouldn't give her and I fell into her trap. Recently I felt still "in love" with her After these many years, craving for those sexual compliments she used to give me in the past, and I talked with her honestly and understood she was no longer interested in that since long time and that she had just used me as affection and validation source, basically She had just played with me and probably enjoyed my suffering derived from that.
But after realizing it, all the interest, love, attraction I had for her went from 100 to 5.
I hope I can start healing from all the crap she put in my mind and heart for years
I hope your doing better ❤
@@Kanako_ketsunake thank you so much! Yes, after two weeks from when I had this talk I started feeling better. She kept contacting me, calling me "hello my love", but I was kind of cold. She knows she hurted me. But indirectly I gave her permission to do so by believing her crap.
I know it will take time, but I'm going to heal hopefully 😊❤️
whats her @ 😍😍😍
These are the kinds of people that make dating so much more difficult.
Please consider analyzing spouses that withhold sexual intimacy to punish their partners.
Thank you for letting us know better that we are with a sexual narcissism
wouldn't it better expressed if it was "we could be with a"?
1:00 SEXUAL NARCISSISM
1:54 SEXUAL NARCISSIST
3:04 THE SEXUAL BARTERER
04:24 THE OVERREACTION
05:15 SIGNS YOU'RE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A SEXUAL NARCISSIST.
I was married to a “overractor” and it eventually turned into SA. Please continue content like this. It took me too long to understand how I was being harmed in my relationship. This type of content really helps educate people.
God being in high school and hanging out with people like this before I finally found my “crew” was so draining and I had second hand embarrassment for them
This relationship I’m in now is shedding so much light on who I am as a person. And I’m definitely proud to say I’m coming out of being a sexual narcissist. As well as other forms. I used to get mad and stonewall whenever my partner did not want to have sex me. To the point where she even set boundaries. But we had genuine convos about it and how it made me feel. Instead of just denying me sex I expressed why I needed sex so much and she made the effort to show up for me in other ways. In return I no longer ask for sex and show up for her in other ways. But it all starts with awareness and honest conversations.
Asking for outside criticism on Chad. To me, it did not seem like Chad made any demands or felt entitled to any sexual acts. It just seemed like he asked for closure about a part of the relationship that had not be explored or discussed yet. Am I a sexual narcissist for thinking this?
i don’t think so. Chad didn’t seem to pressure the girl, he just mistakenly though that the girl was interested in a sexual relationship. She wasn’t, and they both moved on.
I agree. There is this need to categorize and label *everything* that makes this category dangerous to use casually. Chad could have been a person who did not understand that he was treating the dating as a quid pro quo ritual instead of a meaningful pursuit of a developing relationship. Did it mean the two of them weren't communicating? Yes. Did it mean that Chad needed better socialization. Very possibly. But sexual narcissism? That's a leap of assumption.
Nope. I also stand with Chad. Lol
Hi ! I have two suggestions to add to this list‼
1 - Demanding you compare his/her sexual performance to your past partners
2 - Having unprotected sex and never getting checked
A month of dating and hanging out wanting to get intimate is possibly a sexual narcissist? After that period of time, unless there's more to the story than we are being told, I don't think so. There's an old expression that goes "Shit or get off the pot"... After a month of steady dating a couple should have a solid idea of what they want out of it and if the relationship is capable of long term sustainability. Sexual incompatibility is NOT narcissism and it is as valid a reason for moving on as any.
Maybe im the assole here, but it seems like chad was being led on. If a woman isnt interested in a dude... then dont go on dates, dont go over to his place and have drinks, and dont kiss him. When all these things are happening then 99% of the time it will lead to sex. At least.... the dude asked. Instead of forcing himself on her.
Thankfully, I’ve never experienced someone being like this towards me. But I’ve seen and heard about family and friends experiencing it. I don’t understand those people. Sex is great, but it’s not the most important thing. My partner and I have been together for three years, and we haven’t had sex. They’re asexual, and I’m okay with that. We hug, kiss, and cuddle, and that’s enough for me.
You don’t owe anybody anything about you body is based on human right, treat yourself better, have dignity
i remember like 4 years ago i met someone that literally thought of virgins as inferior and used the word as an insult
most people are like this though. its very common to use virgin as an insult, especially towards men.
@@egyptianspaceodin1373correction, only used on men by other men.
@@Random.338 what? women do it all the damn time. being a male virgin in your 20's can be crippling in the dating scene. I've known women who thought it was weird/creepy when a man was a virgin as young as 20 years old.
@@Gonadsonfire That’s crazy 20 is normal to be a virgin. I would be surprised to meet a man that was still a virgin at age 40. But I would find it more weird if a person had a lot of sexual partners but never been in a relationship before. It would make me think they have no personal boundaries and don’t know how to build romantic relationships. And that they are selfish. And that would be a bigger issue for me than someone being a virgin at 40. Being a virgin is actually a beautiful thing. It means you don’t have all the emotional baggage and soul ties that other people carry with them.
People's worth isn't determined by their sexual experiences, and using the term as an insult is both inappropriate and insensitive. It's evident that the guy was attempting to manipulate.
Everything was about sex with my ex Narc husband. Constantly cheating with no remorse. Everything out his mouth daily was referring sex. Disgusting 🤢. My sister is the same way.
Jeez, this made me realize some red flags my ex gave off years ago. I was always guilt-tripped into stuff, especially with the phrase, "that's how this relationship works."
Please, you guys should do a part 2 of this video!
I genuinely wish I had this video years back. looking forward to a second part if it ever comes up😊
I appreciate your feedback! Do you have anything in mind for what could be covered in part 2?
I would love to see a part 2 of this video. Keep up the great work!
I love how all of these medical mysteries have something to do with food! Thank you so much for sharing these with us
I just truly feel bad that there are people out here that has to be permanently stuck with that when they never asked for it or to become that way
I definitely agree with neither party is owed the other anything. I don't agree with the Chad situation how the guy handled it. But at the same time I feel like if you've spent that amount of time together that you'd feel a certain way towards the other person and you would hope since they wanted to spend that amount of time with you too that they'd feel the same. So I feel like if either party's intention is to not have sex then that should be explicitly stated
Hey Psych2Go, I’m wondering about an internet phenomenon: What about guys who say hi to you on dating sites and then send off their 20 nude pics without even being asked for? Like they are handing in a portfolio for a job application? 🥴 And also boast that their goal is having intercourse with as many women as possible. Is that typical for a sexual narcissist? Or this something else like immaturity?
I remember this one guy who seemed pretty sexually narcissistic. I played VRChat with him (I think only twice), he was always wearing a rather flamboyantly emo catboy avatar. One day, he randomly came up to me, giving me a hug. I though nothing of it, because I was in a fluffy avatar, and he seemed sad. Later, he started Dming me through discord, asking to play "Truth or Dare", and at times, it got a little creepy. Eventually, I came forward, explaining how I had a partner, and I wasn't sure talking about the things he was talking about was okay. He asks to meet my partner, so I make a group chat. My partner begins asking why the dude was hitting on me, to which the guy responded "Because she's totally into me, and I could treat her way better than you do." I was repulsed at the thought of being with this guy. An argument occurred, and he ended up losing, but before he left he threatened horrible things to me for "going behind his back and telling my boyfriend". Still one of the creepiest and uncomfortable experiences in my life. My partner and I are still really happy together though, almost 10 months strong!
The most discord thing I ever heard
Me, I was the boyfriend
What was the creeps VRC user and Discord tag?
Met a guy and within 24 hrs his conversation included "making love to me" and how confident he was that I would want to be in a relationship with him. Needless to say, that was our last conversation.
Making love to meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Nice
Situation well handled. Kudos!👏❤
@@Psych2go Thank you! 😄
Thanks for making us all aware 😊
Thank you psych2go for the topic and for your other videos so I know what to look out for in people that I meet because now I’m not as easy to manipulate as I was back then. ☺️❤
Hey there! Thanks for the shout-out. I'm really glad our videos have been helpful for you. Stay empowered! 😊
Funny, I was just randomly watching clips from a classic 1970s sitcom called One Day At A Time - about a divorced mother of two girls striving to make her own way in the world - and the superintendent of the apartment building they’ve moved into is 100% a sexual narcissist. He’s ultimately a genuine person, but he’s one of those transparently insecure kinda not that hot, self-styled Don Juan types, who in this case is also significantly older than he presents himself. The casual sexual harassment from the character is kinda off the charts, but it’s there for the show to interrogate in relation to the mother and daughter characters nascent feminism. The 70s was a very rigorous time in terms of examining and questioning representation and social norms. If you avoid the usual patriarchal conservatism (that still exists today) the 70s is rich with mindful television, film and literature.
Holy hell, this was a good eye opener for me!!
I feel a bit sorry for confused Chad.
@Psych2Go I think your video is important not only for emotional side relationships, but also connected to sexual transmitted diseases: The United States is facing a rise in syphilis cases. From 2017 to 2021, reported cases of syphilis increased about 74%, and congenital syphilis - when a mother passes the infection to her baby during pregnancy - increased more than 203%, according to data from the CDC. In 2021, cases of congenital syphilis were reported in nearly every state and surged to a more than 27-year high.
I’d love to see a part 2 please!
We'll certainly take that into consideration for future content. If you have any specific topics or aspects you'd like to see in a part 2, feel free to share your ideas.
The guy from the writer's story is no way sexual narcissist. He wasn't forcing her, he just asked about it. And asked after a month of dates and kisses.
Not sure as for women, but for men it is logical and essential to be interested in sexual activity after a month of romance
it's not the month, but the argument: "after time and money spent" is no way into a woman's pants. "after a month of kissing and dating, I can't wait to go to bed with you" is completely acceptable. It's about sexual tension building up, not about "time and money".
@@milaycastillo5723Would you not agree that taking someone out on dates and kissing them is a strong indication of someone liking you and wanting to have sex with you? If not, you are just manipulative and a user.
@@Advisory_VesselNot necessarily. Many men do that stuff to get into a relationship, which might eventually lead to that but there is such a thing as dating to find a partner to marry or be with long term. Not all guys are dating just to get sex eventually without it just being part of the eventual relationship. Esp among religious populations many believe in waiting til marriage or a committed relationship so their main focus isn’t finding a sexual partner, but finding a lifelong partner.
@byuftbl That still doesn't answer my question at all. When you get married you still have sex, it's just in the confines of a commitment. Doesn't change what I said. I'd just ask if you are going to engage me, atleast be honest about what is going on...
@@milaycastillo5723 The problem is that 95% of women just want your money, your attention and validation, nothing more. They are hardly interested in a serious relationship. That means if I'm with her for a month without sex, she benefits a lot, but I benefit very little.
Please do a Part 2!!! 💛🙏🏻
“We’ll call him Chad”
That made me laugh 😂😂😂
If I've done everything for her made her happy take her out buy her gifts, given her everything she likes and we've been together for a long time I haven't asked for anything but then one day I ask for some intimacy and she says no and then upright leaves me then they just used me for my resources isn't that right aren't they just taking advantage and not giving anything back
I like most of your content, but labelling "Chad" as a sexual narcissist because he inquired about physical intimacy after a month of dating your writer is really off-base and offensive. Kissing him but having no interest in physical intimacy is sending mixed signals to say the least, and if he was footing the bill for all of their outings it could be fairly argued that she was using him. Her pretending that it was some honest misunderstanding is disingenuous and, coincidentally, the textbook behaviour of a narcissist.
I agree with you here, however I'd like to also point out that she wasn't asking Chad to do all of this and often people get caught up in flings. She simply stood up for not wanting sex and left the relationship. I agree it was an overreaction and she should have been clear beforehand, but it makes sense since not everyone is clear beforehand but people should still respect boundaries. Though, yeah, I don't think Chad was a sexual narcissist as he didn't try to blackmail or force her actively, so yeah :)
@@PancakeRights Fair, I just think that if she was being honest about her intentions she would have paid her own way from the beginning. Pretending that she believed that this guy (who she had in fact kissed) was just a generous platonic friend - and then feigning shock and confusion when after many dates he inquired about more physical intimacy - is blatant dishonesty.
If I'm spending money for a month on this woman, then yea, i would be expecting some loving. Friends my ass lol. That's way too expensive spending 💰 on a female friend for a entire month and i don't get nothing out of it 🙎♂️
I totally agree here. Just the label "sexual narcissist" with no actual medical significance as stated in the video is just another way to dehumanize another person, what happened to calling people "selfish" if you really feel like this example fits even that description, it's gotta be "sexual narcissist"
@@seppo3139 Exactly. If anyone in that scenario was a narcissist, it was the woman. She imagined herself to be so uniquely special that "Chad" would want to spend time and money on her indefinitely - like dating couples actually do - but have no expectation of intimacy or reciprocity of any kind. Absurd and dishonest.
My ex was a selfish lover. She'd lay there like a dead fish, expect me to do all the work, and never did anything to get me in the mood or fulfill my needs. Would do things in public to get other men's attention (and make me jealous or uncomfortable) like parade around in a bra, flash her nipple piercings, dance provocatively, or flirt with them in front of me. Cheated a lot. Looking back, it seemed like she just got a lot of enjoyment from hurting me.
Gotta admit i laughed really hard when she hit the wall at an early age and became a total cave troll.
Could you do a video on how to let go of the person you love? Like when life is just taking you both down separate paths but you both have to go separate ways even though you both have love for each other?
your videos are so knowledgeable 💜
I think my ex had this. The comparison with his friends who were sexually active, the emotional coercion and constant guilt tripping whenever I said no was the sign that made me "Nope" out of that relationship.
Not nessecarily. Maybe he was just bad at telling you that he had sexual needs that did not get sattisfyed in your relationship.
@@ShadowwingMDso what you're saying is, you didn't watch the video at all. Its not someone elses duty to sexually satisfy someone ever. You should really break your sense of entitlement before you ever attempt to be in a relationship.
@@cryptiddy You are rather rude! I nerver sad someone has to force oneself to fulfil the sexual needs of another person! I mearly stated that the behavor might be his bad attempt to communicate his needs. So I am giving the ex the benefit of a doubt to be simply bad at communication instead of calling the ex a sexual narcisist.
I understand that a bad breakup will lead to a bad aftertaste. But simply dumping all the responcebilety on the ex, will not help anyone.
If you want a relationship to work, it is important to talk things out. Everyone has things they need in a relationship and things they give. And if there is something that you need but your patner does not provide you have to communicate that. If your partner refuses to provide what you need from them maybe they are not the right partner. And if the partner is bad at communicating and you want the relationship to work, you need to talk with your partner about it. If what is needed by each partner and what is provided by each partner does not match up and will likly never match up, than breaking up might be the best option. Since one of you or both will never be satisfyed. But you can break up in a civelised manner and without hard feelings.
Also dumping the partner and calling them things without the attempt at understanding them, will not help you in your next relationship.
I am sorry if that is what you consider entitelt. But in a relationship there are always 2 partners and both are responcibel for it to work and speaking about problems.
My idea of narcissism is this:
Obsessive compulsive responsibility avoidance.
Wants? mine first i wont take a no for answer.
Propensity to use manipulation of any kind.
Empathy? whats that? it wasn't me and if it was, it wasn't that bad and if it was, it....
The severity of Narcissism varies per person, its never black or white.
Your comment is so true.
@@hibiscushoney3759 Why so? can you try to give a bit of an argument to it?(dont use the same sentences)(yeah im giving you homework 😈)
Ewwwwgh. I CANNOT stand people like this. I don't do dating but I had a 'friend' that behaved like this to me and continually pushed sexuality on me and I was disgusted. After many months of manipulation I should have never once tolerated, I dropped the bomb of how awful he made me feel, and said that he had better cut it out or I'm cutting ties. His response was pretty much exactly 2:42. And then I told him that's it, it's over and you'll never talk to me again.
And I'm SO damn glad I did, to heck with that guy. Life has consistently gotten better since then! It really damaged my identity but it's slowly coming back over time. I've learned a valuable lesson of why you should ALWAYS stick up for how you feel, regardless of how much you do or do not understand it!!
I just can't anymore 😒 thank you for the video
If you don't want people to demand sex don't demand your partner pays for everything. Women shouldn't expect men to give them their time and money in exchange for nothing.
I was afraid this video would explain me perfectly throughout my life girls have called me handsome…the thing with me is I really like this girl at my college she’s beautiful dresses modestly and treats people with respect we just became friends but I don’t want to seem too nice and I’ve never been the player type cause I know she doesn’t owe me intimacy just for being nice…i want her but not in a way she sees me as a creep cause these weirdos are making it hard for genuinely nice guys
Every normal man who is romantically interested in you will some point want sex. Does that make him Sexual narcissist?
I feel like this day and age narcissism of any kind should be considered a mental disorder no matter what. Far to many men on dating apps are sexual narcissists. I have yet to come across a genuine gentleman who isn't so fixated on sex in the first 5 mins of a conversation.
I stopped using dating apps myself. And most of the time when I do get a response on a dating site it's just some random bot of a woman sending me links to their onlyfans. It's sickening.
Ty for sendin this vid out now i know more about those types of people! I have peeps flirtin with me left n right and its a curse!😭🥺😢😎🤓
Well I definitely learned something new, and got educated from this. I don't think that I am a sexual narcissist, but I might have been either selfish at a time or two. Either qualities, traits, or something otherwise I definitely feel loads better.
3:17 that change of pace to a serious tone made me laugh. But yes, it is true ! Not only that, but you don't owe anything no one.
Please make part2!
6:12 that giggle is sooo cute..
It's simply priceless.
has anybody told this girl who speaks that she has such a beautiful voice? I cant seem to get enough of it:)
Thank you! will let her know❤
Gawd, Helppp my sister!! My sister's so called "boyfriend" is a lot like this, red flags. manipulation, guilt tripping, and obsessive. But I don't know why she's still with him and why. I couldn't seem to understand it.
I’m pretty sure that my mother married a sexual narcissist for a couple of years. Because of it, I learned a lot more about sexual intimacy pretty early on. They had more problems as well, but the memories related to this topic still affect me a bit.
Affect how?
@@qrpcoaching8198 the memories from the sexual narcissism specifically gave me some PTSD surrounding sexual intimacy, and I also feel regret or dread from learning about sex in detail as early as I did. I think because of the experiences, that is the reason I struggle with guilt surrounding sexual intimacy with my partners.
Yall, lemme tell my story bro (I find it mad funny) soo, I was on Instagram and I came across a lesbian stud (I’m lesbian btw) and I added her cause she seemed pretty and might of had a friendly personality, so after a few minutes I get a text from her (I’m assuming she added me back because she found me pretty as well) she came in my DMs talkin bout some “ heyy beautiful😍” …shit had me weak fr 😂 so I texted her back saying hey and the entire time she was flirting with me saying stuff like “ yo baby I can change your life fr” “you can be my pillow princess” like bro…YOU DONT EVEN KNOW ME😭 but end of the story I blocked her ass cause that shit was mad weird like, just cause you a pretty princess, that don’t mean be weird and assume you can pull anybody
Yet again, my last X meets this criteria.
Because of the cold, over reactions, and guilt tripping if I didn't immediately perform when she demanded it.
Even went to the extent of storming out of the room, into the bathroom, grabbed a toy and began exaggerated moaning (they sounded exceptionally rehearsed and fake) but she did this to manipulate my emotions and guilt trip me.
Although this is embarrassing to write I hope that it can act as a signal or warning for anyone reading this so that they can hopefully not have to go through what I went through. I would not wish this level of emotional and psychological pain on anyone.
@Psych2Go People like this scare me. I have encountered some and thank God I was able to see through their bs. Thanks for this video.
Literally happens to me constantly
3:11 - that was the most dramatic boom (but also a jumpscare) that ive ever experienced from watching psych2go LOL
And to all men....you do not need to be your girl's personal good time guide or entertainer, ATM machine, personal photographer or simple doormat if she is just breadcrumbing you with little kisses and hugs to maintain those benefits while still treating you as "boyfriend potential" after a month of dating!
This is the first video of yours that I don’t agree with.
The co-worker was being the narcissist not the polite guy who was obviously trying to woo her. Courtship is a real thing and no man goes into it for no reason. She led him on.
I have a question if my friend leaves right after I join a game would that be a sign of being a fake friend?
I just realized that I am the opposite of sexual narcissist.
Damn I dont want to be termed as an asexual! 😭
I absolutely love this particular video... Not only because it's message delivers, but also the animation, the voice, the overall style of the video suits my taste... I think it's my favourite now❤ I love the message, psych2go! Thank you always 🫶
Thank you for your kind words and for being a part of our community! We appreciate your support! ❤
part two!!
All I hear is men need to give us all there resources, and we can just exist.
@@user-sq2qr8kk4k There is a male mental health crisis currently going on, but few people care, and even more just give boot strap advice.
You do not owe them sex, just like they do not owe you a whole meal for free just because you are present
Timestamps
1). One is not like the other 0:50
2). The best in town 1:50
3). The sexual barterer 3:04
4). The overreaction 4:23
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
Don't need 2 pancakes. One is enough
I'm going to play the Devil's advocate here. Chad might not have been a bad guy, or even a sexual narcissist. There's a chance he was, yes, but the expectation of sex is nothing abnormal. Its natural and to him it was probably a given. Lets not pretend that sex is not a form of closeness and intimacy. Chad and her should have discussed it and established enough trust and familiarity with each other to know of one another's expectations. It should have been communicated. Its naive and unreasonable to hold a grudge against chad for expecting sex at some point. Sure if he was spoiling her with money and everything just for the ulterior motive of sex, that obviously isn't good and he deserves to be ditched. However, the example presented is far too simplistic.
Any woman should assume that someone romantically interested in them is going to want this because it is human nature. A good, healthy and transparent couple should discuss the terms, one another's comfort zone, expectations and boundaries with mutual understanding of one another's needs. They both have the responsibility to discuss this. Not just one partner.
You're not devil's advocate, you have common sense. Chad's date/friend was sending mixed signals. If anything, Chad sounds like unexperienced in dating.
@@nirtulysExactly
I'd agree on that analyses of the given story.
I agree 100%. Sad how it's always men who get instantly labeled as the bad guy in relationships without thought. Both parties were extremely immature but of course we only focus on the male.
Women have it way too easy.
I have a close friend that we tried to take it to the next step and be intimate but it did not last very long because she was a sexual narcissist that combined with exploring being bragging about poly just made it a really bad combo it was like I was supposed to be a partner and then at the same time be the best friend who gets bragged at about the hookup that she had the best sex of her life on at the same time.... It's affirming to see that like hear the words to describe how she acts towards sex
I feel like that I was like that with Mineta, but I never force.
Part 2!
HEY GOOD MORNING MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY I JUST WANTED TO STOP BY TO SEE HOW EVERYONE IS DOING THIS MORNING, THIS IS A GREAT TOPIC, I CAN RELATE 💯 PERCENT, PLEASE KEEP ME IN YOUR PRAYERS. HAVE A BLESSED DAY TEE 🙏💯🙏💙💪
Thats so sweet of you
Take care
I myself have not encountered anyone who is a sexual narcissist irl. But it’s interesting to know about this information. Just need to keep an out in the future.
It’s important to note that sex before vows is a bad idea. And multiplies heartbreak immensely.
Why? I tend to disagree
My head hurts. Thank you psych to go .xxx
How are you doing now?
Anyone I have ever met who seems to be a sexual narcissist, although there hasn’t been that many, meets criteria for NPD.
I needed to catch up on sleep, but I can't relate to this except for the fact that everyone needs affection.
You do not owe anything to the other person but your own will of intimacy.
If you don't want to be intimate with the person it's probably not going to work and you should break this cycle.
I've been a bit stuck on something that happened to me a year ago, so I was wondering if you could do a video on the differences between sexual narcissism, female narcissism, and histrionic
Well this is interesting if I go out with a girl for a long time I'm taking her out on dates,buy her gift do everything for her years and then one day I ask whether we can be physically then she says no and I say I'm willing to wait but then she says I don't want to ever then leaves me, isn't that me being used instead of being a sexual narcissist
Yes she used you. You need to learn boundaries. Don't buy gifts or do anything extravagant for a girl without commitment. It comes off like ur a walking doormat
Question:
If partner A is rarly/never willing to take part in sexual activetys when partner B has sexual needs and partner A does not, but partner A is imidetly offended when partner B is not in the mood or to exausted from the day when partner A has needs, how do you call that in sientific terms?
Its called partner B is an entitled little sht that needs to grow tf up
Hooked up with one guy that was so bad it actually hurt and I had to ask to stop. But he swore up and down it was MY FAULT and that he's ran into this problem a lot. But no it wasn't his fault at all, it was his partners cause "he knew what he was doing"
BIGGEST THING ABOUT SEX:
*CONSENT!*
your partner or you can stop by any means. if they’re not in the mood, respect their boundaries! and you don’t have to be ready when they are.
@Psych2Go If im upfront about expecting sex if she wants dates or a possible relationship does that make me selfish narcissistic or something. To be frank im done with a relationship. That's why i prefer just cuddle buddies or XX Buddy to avoid any heartache or add more trauma to trusting someone i could have had a future , it really feels its not worth it from my perspective from being a man.
I don’t think so because you are just being upfront about it in the first place, giving her a chance to tell you that she is okay or isn’t okay with it.
Hey Psych2Go, is there a research on how you walk or run affects your personality? If so, then can you pls make a video out of it?
Lol😂🤣👍🇬🇧💪x
@@davidanthonyburton2253seriously that has to be a joke comment doesn't it 😂