10 Signs of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome
Вставка
- Опубліковано 12 чер 2021
- Narcissistic Victim Syndrome is a term that collectively describes specific and often severe side effects of narcissistic abuse. Many experts acknowledge narcissistic abuse can have a serious, long-lasting impact on emotional health although out is not recognized as a mental health condition. To help you along your journey of narcissistic abuse recovery, here are a few common signs you might have narcissistic victim syndrome.
Want to learn more about narcissistic abuse? We also made a video on how to identify the signs: • 8 Signs You Are Dealin...
Disclaimer: This video is purely for educational purposes only and is not designed to diagnose anybody with Narcissistic Victim Syndrome. If you feel like you have been a victim, talk to a professional such as a GP or somebody you trust in order to try and access support.
Writer: Jade Hamilton
Script Editor: Morgan Franz
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Sam Rain
UA-cam Manager: Cindy Cheong
References:
bit.ly/3udGzGi
Join this channel to get access to perks:
/ @psych2go
Would you like to animate for the team? Check out this: psych2go.net/interested-in-an...
Interested in writing for psych2go? Check out:
psych2go.net/script-writing-p...
We're also on a mission to make mental health accessible around the world. Many of our content are translated to other languages by fans and people like you guys :)
1) Psych2Go Kr - / @psych2gokr
심리툰 Psych2Go Korea / @psych2gokorea
2) Vietnamese - / psych2go vietnam- kênh...
3) German - / psych2gode
4) Indonesian - / @psych2goindonesia
5) Russian - / channel
6) Vietnamese - / psych2go vietnam- kênh...
7) Español - / @p2go
8) Hindi - / @psych2goindia
How's everyone Sunday going so far? Also, we decided to keep the last two videos up actually.
Good
good!
It's going great and 1st!
It’s been going good
I love your videos
I like those two shorts.
“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but you stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.” - Jill Blakeway
Truer words never spoken…
@@pamelawilliams5061 God bless you P@mel@ Sincerely hope lifes treating you extremely kindly now 🌼🍀🙏
Too bad im surrounded by toxic assholes that are overly negative, judgemental and angry all the time
@@centripetal6157 God bless you 😔🍀🌼🙏You deserve much more & better Is there anyway of escping these types currently in your life @ moment 🍀🍀🌼🙏
Thank you Evelina.
I literally just overheard my narcissist cousin bad-mouth me to his mother... who he in turns badmouths about to ME.
Caring for a narcissist is the worst thing you can do to yourself, they will capitalise on that, emotionally exploit you and leave you feeling chronically stressed and miserable. And yes, I'm talking from experience.
Same here mamas... I didn't even know narcissism was a thing! (At the time)But I knew he was operating from a fcuked up place... Stay 💪🏾 and 👀
I'm stressed all the time. My narc accepts no responsibility so it's on me.
They would just twist words to no end even if it becomes utterly ridiculous and you actually wonder if they do not know what’s acceptable behavior. But the kicker is that they do, hence the public facade. All that word salad and pretending not to know what normal behavior is? Is them lying like a toddler trying to get away from facing the consequences and the shame of the shit they done. Except a toddler might actually have more insight of what they are doing, and narcissists are not in touch with themselves. And they are worse because they don’t care if you get hurt by their gaslighting. Bloody pathetic and evil. The only way to call out a narcissist is to say what you mean to say and ignore all the lying and gaslighting coming from them. Nuh-uh, you did it, nah that’s not acceptable, nah I’m not ‘overly dramatic or sensitive’ just being normal, nope I’m not gonna take it (and when they issue the ultimatum lol) okay buh-bye. Do not get caught up in their world of confusion, do not let them drag you into the mud with their personal attacks, never attempt to debate and always stay on topic. This is of course not the way to interact with normal people, just narcissistic individuals.
Agreed. Hate them twice as much as I loved em.
So true!
The worst thing about narcissists, in my opinion, is how they will NEVER stop blaming others for things, or stop completely running away from accountability. This video hit so close to home, it's heartbreaking 😢
The worst part to me, is how easily they can turn everything around and make themselves look like the victim and everyone else look like perpetrators. They can destroy a person's reputation while keeping their own intact. No matter how much the Truth teller cries out, shows evidence of their own innocence / the narcissist's guilt, videos, pictures, letters, eyewitness...none of it matters. Your character has already been assassinated, so therefore you will not be listened to.
I have effectively gone no contact with my entire family of origin for this reason. I don't miss a thing about it, either. It's nice going without constant derision, mockery, ridicule and dismissal.
@@Hawaiiansky11 bless your heart! That is is horrible, for sure. I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm very glad you got away from them, though!
So terrible isn’t it?!
@@dannikkaquinn9698 it is. The projection and gaslighting will drive a person crazy. Coupled with blame shifting and verbal/physical abuse, and that will break someone...
A NUT CASE...I HATE THE DAY I MET HIM.... HE'S A WASTE OF BREATH! He still says today that he's waiting for me to get MYSELF TOGETHER & let him come back.
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
@@michealharris3221Is he on instagram?
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.
Tripping is not really bad but find a good mycologist Who will teach you the right things you need to know
1. 1:07 you felt like you had a perfect relationship
2. 2:03 you feel like you're walking on eggshells
3. 2:34 you may have experienced smear campaigns
4. 3:14 you feel isolated and vulnerable
5. 3:50 you've developed a pervasive sense of mistrust
6. 4:15 you may engage in self destructive behavior
7. 5:03 you may experience unexplained physical symptoms
8. 5:33 you may have issues setting boundaries
9. 6:24 you may be questioning your own identity
10. 7:15 you may find it hard to make decisions
edit: to everyone saying thanks, y'all are so sweet. i generally do this when noone has yet for myself but im happy it helps others as well :)
thank u :)
Thanks for Compiling This 🙏.
Thank you. I fit quite a few of these
Duck.. duck.. GOOSEBUMPS!
Dam. I'M IT.
As referenced,
Dr Vander Kolk, is a top Expert on Trauma and it's effects on the human body. 👏👏
One day I hope to meet him.
Thank you.
After four years of narcissistic abuse, I finally got a divorce from my abuser, and I ran into them at Walmart the other day. I handled it very well, and am realizing now that they do not have any control on me now. I’m finally finding myself again.
Whenever I have an emotional breakdown due to the heaviness of prolonged narcissistic treatment from my husband, everyone in my life looks at ME like I'm a freak! No one cares what brought me to that state. Thank you for the informational with a calm, empathetic voice.
And that can actually make people think you're the problem. That can even be their strategy. They have 2 faces, one with you and one for everyone else
I am with you ....I am so alone and am abused every day
Reactive abuse
This is what happened to me. An ex partner used gaslighting, other emotional and physical abuse when I fought back. Had 12yrs of it and it destroyed me. I trust no one completely anymore
Edit: I was putting a couple of spelling mistakes to right and I accidentally deleted some of the info in this post. I’m in a bit of a mind block at the moment and I can’t remember it, sorry
@MykeWinters I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you find some peace and happiness in your life. I know now for myself, and I hope you know as well, that you deserve to be loved and that person that hurt you, was wrong in so many ways. Best wishes.
The little leaf guy is so cute, seeing him upset is so sad lol
:’(
Thank you :) Sam did a great job!
r u a p s y c h o p a t h ?
@@alaynaleighh8688???
@@g4bri3l. yea
Who else grew up with a narcissistic mom and is dealing with their trauma now🙋🏽♀️
Edit: seeing all of the replies really breaks my heart because I can relate SO MUCH to all of you, just know you are loved and if someone ever needs to talk just ask me for my number and I’m here!!💗 we can get through this together
my mom too
Yeah, she was an expert at being the sweetest person when others were around but when they left she was back to her old angry self!
@@Redeemed26 yes exactly !!!
My dad was narcissist. But still it's a parent.
Yup 🙋🏻♀️
I used to be in a relationship with a narcissist. He mentally abused me to the point I had a mental breakdown. I've been in and out of the mental hospital for 10 years and I'm still healing. I can relate to a lot of the points you mentioned in this video. To whomever is reading this just remember you are not alone, nothing stays the same and you will get better. Sending my love x
I'm so sorry to hear what you went through.
You're so strong and brave to come out on the other side and try to help other's.
God bless you!
Thanks for that Lorraine so many of this feel we are the only ones going through it but it's quite common
@@ashleymacinnon9442 yes it is quite common I've come to find out, sadly
One in three one UA-cam thearapist said that's bad news U have to have been through it to get it sadly who the hell would want to get narcisstic abuse hell on earth especially where the flying monkeys are involved
They are still up to this bs even after new contact and in a new area sad and alarming it is if O wasn't medicated right now oh heck O don't wanna think about it
As the scapegoat of a narcissistic family, I was extremely traumatized by the time I left home. My life has been a shit show, but it is getting better with ongoing space between myself and those who abused me - and still would, given the opportunity.
Fucking tell me about it. Same boat.
Yup. Good on you for getting out. My life started to turn around when I left "home."
Stay strong! I just let my mom go at 29. It is an uphill battle! You were an extension of the abuser's will most likely. So you will feel very bipolar about leaving them behind, but it gets better :)
I’m finding this all too true, now that I’ve left I’m processing the abuse and trauma I’ve lived with and I realize that it’s created such a deeply rooted sense is mistrust in those around me even tho the person I’m with WOULD NEVER do the things my parents have. Leaving my home (or being kicked out) was the best decision that ever happened to me
It gets easier but id be lying if I said you dont have to make a conscious effort to love yourself even the parts that fill you with shame.
The rumination is the worst thing ever. I can't stop ruminating about previous/future interactions. The thoughts and overall feeling of apprehension about the next interaction keep piercing through like sharp knives.
It's absolutely humiliating to accept the fact that I allowed him to do it.
True
It puts you on edge every time you meet someone who could fill the same role in your life.
ua-cam.com/video/XaY5ST7mE7A/v-deo.html
True
Me: *identifies with every single symptom*
Also me: "nah I must be exaggerating"
Always thinking something like that..
(= > • < )
Me
Do you guys want somebody to talk to? I'm always listening..
Totally me!
yup, same. And the thought process continues: I must be exaggerating, I probably don't remember well... What if I treated this person in this same way? Oh no, what if this is how this person thinks I treat them? Am I a narcissist?? ..... (edit: typos)
My dad was a narcissistic abuser. Beat me and emotionally/verbally abused me for 20 years growing up. Finally confronted him yesterday. He laughed in my face and said that it was all a lie that my mum (who is a psychologist) put in my head to steal me away from him. He is fucking insane. Thank you for making this video. I love my mother, more than anything in the world. But 3 hours with this man made me begin questioning that and everything I experienced as a kid. This video helped me understand how he is twisting my mind. I'm done with him. Moving on. Trusting my body and my experiences. Good luck to anyone out there experiencing this. TRUST. YOUR. BODY. Trust facts, not stories. I love you all!❤
I identify with this. About 7 years ago I left a religious way of thinking and lost all my friends and was separated from my family because I still had not stopped being afraid and over reacting to threats. I am now back with my wife and children..
your dad probably got abused by a narcissistic parent and good thing you didn't become like your dad (hopefully)
My dad is the exact same way. Likes to turn everything on either me, my mother, or my grandma. He never did anything wrong in his eyes and neither did my stepmother (she's awful too).
I feel like my abuser took everything that I had in me. The identity crisis is real. I don’t even remember who I was before.
Are you doing any better? I left my husband 4mos ago and I feel just as bad now as I did when I left. We were together 18 years and I just can’t move on. I actually want to be back with him, which I know is completely stupid!
Same.. And people think it's because I'm lazy. It has made me feel worthless and self doubt myself. I just wish I could sleep all day, just sleep and pass away. Death seems to be peaceful than this horrific life.
@@helloitsme-_- please talk to someone! Trust me I understand how sleep seems so good. Stay busy if you can. Praying has helped me but so have a therapist and friends. You will survive this time. You will. I’m still going through rough times…I cry a lot! But remember this isn’t forever, it’s just for now. 🙏🏽🥰
@@El_Roi75 ohh, thank you for your concern.. I appreciate people like you who understand, but I don't have friends whom I can rely on or my family. I'm not going to give up on my life though, I'm trying my best. You too don't worry. I read somewhere that you deserve to be loved the way you love someone else. So we should take care of ourselves first, and hopefully everything will be fine soon. Everything will be peaceful and in its place soon in our lives. Leaving such a relationship is the first step for it, and there is no going back. Even if it hurts and feels like we should go back to them, just don't. I wish you good luck, stay strong. I will try my best too, and follow self care to improve my situation. Thank you 😊
its cause we build our life around them. remove the cause and you find how much of your life they consumed. but building afresh is so invigorating, even your closest friends don't realise how much of an amazing person you are inside.
survive a narcessist and you can survive anything!
I am a broken person. Recently I started seeing a professional about my childhood trauma and it's way worse than I ever imagined. If I had not had my son I may never have pursued the help I needed. With the birth of my son I started trying to change myself to be the best father I can for him. In doing so, I realized how hard my father was on me, to the point that I've had to cut him out of my life completely. It's terrifying realizing that all my anger was born through pain, abuse, and mental torture. Luckily I have a chance to grow to be the best man I can be, and be the father my son deserves. Please don't hide behind your anger, it will only leave you lonely and empty.
I recently saw a therapist too. He insist my parents aren't qnd that i should go back to them even though he hasn't met them. But im scared. I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
Your son is so, so lucky to have a father who cares enough to change to be a better person for him. Much success to you, friend 💐💛
your comment made me cry thank u for being so strong
@@soapez9527 thank you for your kind words but I am far from strong. Every day is a struggle. I hope you keeping trying to better yourself.
Good on you, you faced your battles and a good father to your Son, love people that own up to hardship and strive to be their best self, well done.
In my 21 years of being with a covert narcissist I see these traits.
1. Incapable and unwilling to take any accountability for the chaos, dramas and mind manipulating confusion they create. 2. Always blame others for their problems.
3. Can't take the slightest criticism however we'll intentioned or kindly expressed. They see it as a massive ego attack. 4. Harbour resentments and grudges, loving to remind you of something that you
said or did decades ago ( even if it never happened the way they recall it) 5. Cannot regulate their emotions and use you as their scapegoat and emotional waste bin.
6. Chronically bored Always seeking the next thing to find some
thrill or distraction. 7. Like to bring you down to their low vibe Misery seeking level. 8. Highly jealous and envious of other but always denying it.
9. They feel entitled to having control of you and their needs met
but don't genuinely appreciate what you do for them.
10. Create stress upsets and arguments then attack and blame you for being upset with them, like kicking a dog and saying it's crazy for bark
ing at them.
11. Make their own rules about what you should think do and say while they follow no rules at all.
12. Talk about others behind their back and smear you to their family and friends to gain sympathy .
In short the traits of childlike behaviour before a healthy fully functioning self aware and socially developed grown up appears.
What they seek is a parent figure who will accept them as if still a child in an adult body. To love such a person requires a true Saint. A mere mortal will suffer and become ill physically mentally and emotionally abandoning themselves trying to rescue someone from their own self Sabotaging behaviours.
.
This is your sign to leave!!!!! Dealing with a narc is like a road leading no where. The longer you stay the more you lose yourself, and after you leave make sure you start your healing process asap. The longer you prolong, and mask how you feel the more painful the healing process will be. Be patient, and gentle with yourself ❤️
And pray, it really works, you might feel as if you’re lonely but God is here
Im going be conservative here and say im a narcissist but like a 1-2(because im human),my coworker is a narcissist like a 9 on a scale.he uses roids,hes a liar,a manipulator,he only wants to work when it makes him look good,he has applied for boss 3 times everytime to get rejected,how can i keep my sanity.i try to have normal conversation with him,but he is a manipulative person who will use words to get his way.he will say something then say im just kinding,so i try to keep cool and say well u said u wanted to do this so go do it,he says i didnt say that i say thats the words you said so do what ya are asking here derek.hes difficult very difficult.one day hes wide open ready to do something next day hes the biggest procrastinator in the world,
hey @@bkh5746 I appreciate your transparency. Also, I think you should have little to no contact with such person
You will never be a woman
you don't know you're being abused by the time it's at its worst! They are master manipulators
My abuser has literally asked me if I am “getting worn down yet” and am I “ready to stop fighting and let them have their way.” You hit the nail on the head!!! 🤦🏾♀️
Girl I’m praying for you … you need to GET OUT
That's so creepy, get as far away as possible, as it WILL escalate, good luck💖🌿
Wow. Knows exactly what they're doing!! But now you do too!
😞 Praying for you. My abuser used my Epilepsy against me and said if I dared call the cops he would tell them my memory was bad and I’m crazy
Smfh
you can get away from these relationships, i promise. it’s hard, and tiring, but once you make it, you’re walking on air. take it from someone who’s been through it and made it out the other end. remember, i love you and you’re valid 💜
Kinda hard when you've got no where to go and you can't get a job with stable enough income to save money to move away and even if you did manage it, you have no clue how to live on your own or do anything for yourself...
@@saniajunaid8016 Parents *and other family members
Thank you
I've been feeling like I've truly been moving on lately. I feel like my main and tertiary problems aren't problems anymore. I still feel the pain, but it erodes over time. And that's the key word, time heals everything.
This is part of what led me to addiction. To anyone struggling with abuse and this syndrome who might be escaping these feelings of self doubt or hypervigilance by using drugs or alcohol, know that recovery is possible. I respect you for reaching this part of your life -- you've made it this far, and you can survive and thrive with support and guidance!
Needed this. Tbh pretty confused as I’m realizing I Have been involved in multiple Narcissistic relationships be a family or romantic and I’m connecting all the dots on where my addiction started the trauma is what triggers everything why I act the way I act and why my fears of the way they are. Anyway I’m sitting here struggling telling myself this will be the last hit and actually hoping that it will be, once again. Just to make it till tomorrow not blame myself for things people did to me
Edit: voice to text corrections made
Please help me
Me too. I genuinely believe if I hadn’t experienced all that my ex put me through I wouldn’t be where I am right now with my addiction🤦🏼♀️
Took decades to realize that the common factor in my family’s addiction was my dad’s narc abuse. He, of course, never drank.
I think this just saved my life
There are many different signs. These include spending time on phone that was not spent previously, withholding sex from you, withdrawing in communication with you, agitation or anger over Petty stuff or making up situations to get angry or agitated over, lying, being secretive in any way, randomly spending more time caring for and pampering oneself such as putting on makeup or wearing cologne or coloring hair etc. Any type of changed behavior that is not aimed at pleasing or benefiting your relationship. With all of that though, follow your gut. your gut is telling you that something isn't right and it's telling you that this could or is happening, therefore listen to it. Just Free yourself from all of it! Run and don't look back. Go 100% no contact. The mental and emotional abuse is not okay at all! Do not bring anything up to her. Don't try to rationalize or have a conversation about anything. Don't let her know that you know she's in narcissist. All of that can cause a narcissistic rage. If you have not yet witnessed one of those just trust me that you don't want to! A narcissistic rage is beyond any rage I have ever seen or witnessed in my entire life. I am an army combat veteran and served front lines for a year and afghanistan. I have abuse going back from as long as I can remember, the first time in my personal memory is 2 years old. With everything I have been involved in, and my rape, other sexual abuse, their physical abuse, etc in narcissistic rage is by far the worst! If you need to contact your local police department and start a new contact order. No one can protect you like you can! free yourself from it all and move forward in your life. The minute you run and go no contact is the minute your life begins again. If need be seek out professional help. Therapy is the best thing I did for myself. The best gift I gave to me! The abuse is so deep and overwhelming that having a professional guide you through the steps of the healing process is extremely beneficial! Just remember, there is great strength in asking for help. There is great lack and strength or no strength at all in putting on a mask and hiding behind the opinions of society and pretending that you are okay! As human beings we all witness A Time In our lives where we are not okay! Those that heal, move past, and move forward, and have a brighter future are those who ask for help and do the work that is needed through the help! I'm so sorry you are going through this and I wish you the very best! Good luck! Always remember that you are stronger than you believe you are, you are worthy and deserving of better and always, and you are enough just the way you are and who you are today! Take this time for you! Get yourself again. Fix that meal that you're all time favorite, rent that movie you've been wanting to see, have a guys night out with your best friends, remodel a room in your home, go purchase that item you've been wanting to for so long, just do for yourself! Self-acceptance, self-love, and being able to forgive yourself is far more important than what anyone else can give to you! Believe in who you are! You deserve nothing less than that! You're not alone! Feel free to tag me in any other questions that you have! I'll help if I can. Additionally you can hire a cyber expert to help you get remote access to their phone so you can track them and monitor all of their activities without them knowing. You may locate the top cyber specialists locally at Digitalinvestigate@gmail. com, where you can engage a well-trained professional to assist you..........
When you come from a family origin of narcissistic abuse, you’re more susceptible to fall into narcissistic relationships in adult life. Whether with a partner or friend. We seek familiarity unfortunately, it’s just how we were programmed to function during childhood. There is hope, you’re not alone and continue to seek help! These informative videos help a bunch. Dr. Ramani’s videos are very helpful when it comes down to toxic and narcissistic abuse!
That's what happened to me. I tend to fall for ppl like the narcissist that adopted me.
@@ryannvolner7676 I’m sorry to hear that, stay strong! Thank you for sharing that, the communities built amongst these channels may help as support groups :)
Also Dr. Les Carter and The Little Shaman.
My mum is a narcisist and she gets mad if i get mad becoz she criticizes my every move and calling it "training" i mean what in the absolute fuck is criticism training
@@harleyquinn5774 thank you for the recommendation! Definitely will check them out!
I was dying in my last relationship. My body was shutting down from the stress and anguish. I thought I was crazy and all of my symptoms were a consequence from the abuse.I am so grateful to have gotten out. Thank you for creating this video.
Same. I wondered why I was sick for three months straight. My body was tired
Last 2 relationships I understand your pain. Completely
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
As a result of abuse,you feel victimized,manipulative tactics start to appear,your sensitive to any threat and act accordingly,slander and a smear campaign ensues,isolated and vulnerable,you should talk about it,anxious to rectify the gaslighting could cause self sabotage❌
I just got out of a bad relationship (my very first serious relationship) too not knowing anything about narcissism or anything like that and now 2-3 years later I’ve learnt what gaslighting is and just can’t imagine why someone would treat another human being like that like how could they be so self centred, there were so many times where he’d stare at his phone and just listen to me cry and not once did he try to comfort me.. I was the most loving person I could possible have ever been to him and he didn’t really even care.
I’ve been diagnosed with this. This video hit me right in the feels, because it’s exactly everything I’m suffering from. It made me feel heard and like I’m not delusional
You can be 100 percent accountable and still be accused of not changing or caring. It's spooky how they hear nothing but their own diatribe.
When your narcissistic abuser is your own parent
awkward and gross
Damn that when shi- hit the fan
A lot of people are quick to label their parents as that... most are overdramatisations. If you had a narcissistic parent you wouldn't be able to do the most basic of basic stuff as an adult e.g. go shopping, go outside. If you can do that then it's either one of two things: 1. your parents are harmful, but not narcissistic, or 2. your parents are completely normal, you just like to pick fights with them because you want superiority over them.
Lets all say hi, ie if your parent is😂😭
I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
Not every narcissistic abuser is aware of their narcissism or has evil intentions
I'm queen of dissociation and it's better to be alone, for me anyway, more control that way.
me too
Fr
Been in the same situation for a while, tried avoiding any attachment to anyone but it still happened because it still hurt when people let me down. But being alone is often so painful too. How do you survive?
@@lineriderrulz I can relate in a way
I expected so much for myself and for those that I thought I could rely on/trust. But dissapoints occured in which they do sometimes. One thing that was once looked as as bad for me which was me being a loner/introvert. Turned into something good now that I am a adult. Because I don't really hold onto attachments to anyone. It is what it is. But I've learned to thrive with who I am. And with my experiences in life.
Same
Sending a hug to anyone from a toxic family dynamic. 🫂
🤗 Thank you
Thank you
Thank you 😭😭
My whole life and I think I hurt my baby 😓
Lord I am so sorry... I know I could relate I’m just trying to identify If I did this to my daughter . I will ask her about it
WOW I wish I found this video sooner... A year ago I was struggling so bad with these symptoms it drove me crazy. Post-abuse isolation is real and it's important that you acknowledge your worth above other's views of you.
go check out my youtube channel on narcissism(watch the shorts)
I care so much that I am terrified to leave. I'm scared that something may happen if I'm not there...though I am the one being destroyed emotionally.
Get out. It isn’t real.
Why do you care more about them than yourself?
If you've had expectations set really high for you by a narcissistic. Remember that expectations are just pre meditated resentments.
Edit: thanks for the likes.
Yo
fuck that was real
Holy crap, that's really well put thank you i had never thought of it that way 🤯
He told me that I would do until something better came along. The things narcs say, and believe. It blows my mind. It was 30 years ago and I still remember that, glad it's over.
@@yeseniatecaxco7545 it wasn't me who put it that way. It was my mom who rescued me from my narcissistic mother. She always says "baby girl. Expectations are just pre meditated resentments"
@@savetrump9120 narcissists say and believe a lot. But they aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer either.
My ex husband went to extremes to convince me I was losing my mind. Shortly after our marriage I found out he had been sleeping with at least four of my (so called) friends. I informed him I was divorcing him. Firstly, he accused me of jealousy and paranoia. Ha! After determining He was found out he set about a gaslighting scheme. I must also add…We tried counseling but when that was a bust he got vicious. Told family and friends I was losing my mind. Told everyone I was seeing a therapist (our marriage counselor) because I was unbalanced. Hide things from me. Starting conversations with me and act like I was delusional when I countered in conversation, by saying we were never talking about that. He would sit next to me and whisper my name and when I responded he would fake concern while saying “you are hearing things again.” Another exampleI recently sold my car and saw someone driving it. I exclaimed “Hey look there is my old car!” He said, “You never owned that car. What is wrong with you?” There were so many things similar to this that he pulled but my all time favorite…he put his arm around me and whispered in my ear, “If you promise not to divorce me I will stop telling everyone you are crazy.” I was done done done with this freak. Shortly after filing for divorce I ran into his business partner in a very crowded gathering. His business partner loudly proclaimed, “I am so happy to hear you are getting mental health care.” Of course several people are now staring at me. I was shocked but quickly countered, “It’s too bad the people who truly are mentally ill don’t seek help.” He responded with, “I figured you would have a come back.” I never looked back in regret when I divorced that narcissistic mess. How ironic that a person who gaslights try’s to convince a victim they are losing their mind. Who is the really sick person in this scenario? Additionally, Here's a clue for anyone of you that think your spouse might be cheating, but you think they are just too clever to be caught, your feelings of being cheated on are not facts and your intuitions are bullshit unless you find out for sure. So before you bring your sickness and blame into the relationship get some fucking proof and some mental help consult a private investigator today Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose know where you stand in your relationship...
U most definitely gotta be a psychic or sumn she always dropping a video about something i have or went thru other therapists need to take notes and get on this level fr
John 3:16 King James Version 16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (share the good news of the gospel around the world!) Truth about the deceptive islamic religion channels: christian prince, light for all nations, light shineth in darkness ,,.,, .,,,
@@1CT1 Islamic and Christianity places of worship actually are very similar
Psychic2Go
@Friddo King thats dope and yes ots awesome its free with no synthetic meds lol
Shh, it's a secret ;)
#7 is so true for me. My health overall has improved. Lost weigh, blood pressure and glucose significantly improved. But a “smaller” health improvement I almost didn’t realize is my allergies haven’t bothered me since I’ve been away from him as strange as that may sound. When I was around him I would go through SO many bottles and packets of allergy pills. But I have rarely needed an allergy pill since I’ve been gone. I’m just not having allergy flare ups left and right like I was before. I can’t help but laugh. I guess I was allergic to him.
Allergies are closely linked to your immune system. Chronic stress suppresses your immune system. That's an easy explanation. Hope it helps.
You know shit is bad when you're allergic to the guy
It's so sad how easily we can propagate trauma and abuse before we are even capable of knowing what we're doing. I could see as a child my parents' sincerity, hypocrisy and cruelty side by side, and it terrified me. That fear has not failed to run my life since, in spite of all my efforts. I relate to every single point. Great video as always 💫
That’s why I’m so heartbroken now and I’m 25… I never felt right as a child, and now I’m learning why, and then I get memories of things that happened and I can relate it to the new terminology or situations I’ve heard that happen, and it hurts so much knowing what was happening. And that it is still happening :(
These signs in isolation deserve therapy. Whether you identify with the label or just experience these symptoms, they warrant professional help.
Man, I would but my parents are the abusers in my case, they would never let me go to therapy, especially if I tell them why
Childhood is a period of your life, not your whole life. When you get out and can manage to help yourself, you'll be every bit the survivor and the winner you deserve to be.
@@renanbo6562 You jumping to conclusions and calling them abusive because they don't give you everything you want says a lot more about yourself than them, just saying.
@@bunille you’re the only one here jumping to conclusions
@@jamesboorman9826 I'm looking at an open-minded approach of this instead of enabling them. For all we know they could be a covert narcissist themselves. Narcissism can be genetic for a reason. I am not speaking with certainties unlike many people here, which certainties are literally just the result of being biased, not being truthful.
And young teens call their parents abusive all the time over little everyday normal things. Until we've got actual proof that they were abusive through the symptoms they express (anything related to narc abuse not mentioned on this video, or they can just fake it easily), instead of the classic "my parents are abusive narcissists because they don't let me [insert bad behaviour]". That's deflecting on their end. Enabling is not empathetic.
I always thought narcissism was just someone extremely vain and overly focused on appearance. Until I realized my wife of 21 years was incredibly toxic and narcissistic. Its probably the worst feeling in the world when you realize that the person who is supposed to be your partner, spouse, confidant, lover, etc has been lying to you the entire time. It feels soul crushing
Absolutely it’s only through these videos that I have realised what is happening to me. I agree it’s soul destroying 😞
@@abbeydawes5786 it gets easier I promise, not for a while though. I'm free going on 4 years and still have issues blaming myself, feeling not good enough, etc not as often thankfully
@Leeroy Jenkins Yes and no. She was in a relationship with a narc. Narcs scope out people who have strength! They plan from day one to break that person so they will feel stronger. Is this your first video on this topic?
@Leeroy Jenkins Google the research in Neuroscience on Narcissism, Complex PTSD, and trauma bond.
@Leeroy Jenkins I agree. She picked him, but what I meant was she chose him because of her background. I understand what you mean. If you went to a restaurant for dinner and you prefer steak over seafood.....you will order steak.
Ok, so we chose the wrong man. Trust me
... we remember the one that was good to us when we realize our mistake and think of that person often. ♥️
Yes! It is like walking on eggshells around your abuser but it lasts inside you and in other relationships to be hypervigilant and rejecting of others too who you become mad at.. Thank you soooo much for your super-empathic voice and information. I feel like you side with me as the "original" and real victim in this situation. You even include the conditioning idea which really grounds me in the truth of what is going on, when I see that "training" has happened over time and that is why it is soooo hard to SEE!!! ... and it is also scary to see the unsafety of it all.
Don't allow the narcissist to take up space in your mind, block them out, in time they should be forgotten. Find as many Empaths to share your life with. Only keep good and loving memories in your heart ❤️ I'm selling my property and I'm moving away from my dangerous narcissistic neighbor, my quality of life is more important than this evil neighbor.
This video really hit the bullseye-
I was in an abusive friend group with multiple narcissists in it and was friends with them for 3-5 years. They would often invalidate my experiences/feelings, hide things from me, and manipulate other friends and family that I was in the wrong. They still do it. I can’t even get away from them since I go to a small school and they participate in most of the activities I’m in. I even feel like I’ve picked up some of their bad habits and unintentionally hurt other people using their tactics, which makes me feel awful. I wish nobody has to experience these things. Because of a few manipulative people, I will struggle to make meaningful relationships for the rest of my life. Stay safe out there-
This is exactly the story of my life. It's hard to recognize being a victim. A relationship of 4 years of abuse drained my life to the point that I thought I was dead. Just recently I started to live again but it's so hard, I never do comments for videos but this time I feel 100% identified cause I feel this video was made for me and as I'm writing this comment I have tiers. Don't mean to look petty or nothing. For whoever reading this comment right now and had a situation like this I want to tell you that even in the darkest moments you are never alone, just reaching to someone and saying something will make you feel a bit better. Even writing a comment. Sending tons of good vibes to everyone here.
It's also the story of mine. I was married to a narcissist for 14 years and had 2 children with him. We were only married 3 weeks the first time he slapped me across my face. His abuse was so bad that he had me convinced I couldn't make it on my own and times when I'd try to leave he would verbally beat me down telling me I'm used goods and no man would ever want me. Just like you, just watching this video brought me to tears. We've been divorced for almost 10 years now and myself and our children are still in therapy to this day due to PTSD from the situation. Just like you, I felt dead. It's taken me years and years of medication and therapy to realize I wasn't the problem and that I didn't cause the abuse. I'm still working on myself and I hope you are too! We can overcome!
😪😪
I'm sending you loads of love and to say that there is someone who is out there for you and will treat you like a queen I never wanted to date another man or anyone I wanted to be on my own so I broke away from everybody even my family and I became a self harmer as he made me feel like I was the one who was bad, but then I realised that it was him all along so I finally managed to get out and then I met someone who took care of me and was so supportive with my mental health and self harming I no longer do that anymore and I'm now married to someone who always puts me first I've never had that experience of any Man but it feels so good, so now I look at myself and i say I'm not a victim I'm a surveyor but I know what it's like you love them in a funny way and don't want them to leave but then i realised i was afraid of being on my own and alone i never loved him at all i was just scared to be alone and unhappy but I was unhappy very it took me a while to release that he never loved me at all he was so controlling told me what to wear, what makeup to wear and always told me off when other men just say hi and it was my fault and that's when I knew I had to get out and i did it I dumped his arse when I saw him on Facebook talking sexual to another woman so I dumped his arse by phone which probably was the worse way to dump someone by phone but I'm so proud of myself and where I am now so stay positive there is someone out there that will treat you like you deserve to be treated hun not like a door mat but like a queen just hold on in there it will happen hun one you'll be surprised that someone who will always put you first even before themselves they'll makesure that you are ok and are happy hang on in there hun. Much love ❤️ to you from me who knows what you've gone through it's not easy 💯 but you are a surveyor your not a victim like everybody says and that I'm also very vulnerable person which I hate that v
Word and victim I'm a surveyor just like you hun 😘we are both surveyor's of a very nasatistic nasty, evil person I wouldn't call it human that's not what us humans do it's not normal it's sick 🥰🥰❤️❤️
Try 20 years and 4 kids, wow what a nightmare that was, 2 yrs after divorce im still realizing just how messed up my head became. The bad part is I was to blind by love to realize it until recently smh sure hope the damage is reversible cause id sure love to have my life back, whatever it was like lol can't even remember. Best wishes for you and everyone else in need. I hope all can make a recovery and live a happy life
Thank you for this. Your word hit home.
Wishing you peace.
Had a narcissistic friend like this. She ended up ghosting me.
Was super painful, but looking back it was an easy ticket out of that toxic friendship.
Same :(
Got ghosted too but I’m glad he did. It wasn’t so easy for me to end the friendship earlier.
I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
@@Withthia I understand your point, and I don't believe that every single narcissist is an evil person. Especially if you take the steps to realize it and someone helps you make changes to be better. I applaud you for recognizing that and making an effort.
Once again, I understand where you're coming from. I never thought of her as evil, but misled by another toxic friend of hers down the line. My particular situation is my own personal experience, and I know what went down to lead to that ghosting. There was much more to it that happened prior, but it was after everything was resolved and I thought our friendship was secure, that she suddenly did it out of the blue. I did confront her on it on the one source she didn't ghost me on, but she simply left me on read. So there's never been closure, other than just accepting it and moving onward with my life.
But I guess thanks to that, I found my true friends and we're happier than ever. Sometimes it's just not meant to be with other people. And that's okay.
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
I've put up with this for 27+ yrs, not knowing what to do, i blamed myself. Just recently (about 6 months) I started realizing it wasn't me. I learned alot as I listened & read about the "Silent Treatment" which I experienced many times, I would beg him & blame myself in order to keep peace btwn us. I might add the longest silent treatment i suffered was 4 1/2 yrs. I've got health problems due to this relationship. I'm a work in progress but thank God I've come to realize that I will be better off without this self centered so called christian man of God. My family & of course his family adore him..never did it dawn on me what this person IS. No wonder he'd say i was NAIVE!!! Thank you for this opportunity ❤️
I relate to ALL of them!!! because she was a malignant Narc. I truly feel for all the victims that have gone through Nacisistic abuse of Any kind! It is truly the most difficult thing that a human being could go through.
I wonder how many videos I will need to see that perfectly describe my situation before I will actually believe it’s happening and stop blaming myself.
As many as you want. Because each step counts. The fact that you are here, proves you have already taken the first step. Next is to talk to someone, friends family. It helps. Don't worry about they judging you, because many times it's all in your head.
Same 😢
@Friddo King I too thought like you and just ignored my gut, for about 20 years. A few months ago he tried to set the house on fire while I slept, so I would burn to death or die of smoke inhalation while I slept. Don't ever question your gut feeling like I did for 20 years. Your gut loves you and tries to protect you, but your brain and heart work hard at belittling your gut. Run while you can.
there's a saying: half of the time of the duration of the relationship , in my case after 12 years of abusive relationship it took 6 years of therapie & healing time AFTER getting out of it!!
Same. I think it’s because we were blaming ourselves our whole relationship. I can’t believe I used to problem solve things and blame myself for the issues with everything
This made me cry a lot. I don’t feel so alone hearing this, at least. I’m scared and I’m trying to undo some of my collapsed boundaries, but I’m really really struggling. This is real. I deal with this every day. And if you’re out there and you deal with this too, I’m so sorry. You are strong. I believe in you.
I feel the same way I feel terrible. This is truly Hellish. I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you ^^ i wish you nothing but the best. I go through it everyday too some being harsher then others, but never give in to it. And if anyone needs to talk feel free to comment here. No one deserves to go through this especially alone.
Please listen to coach Jesse on " Narcissist Chronicles" , and become a warrior and an effective narcissist slayer.
Agape love to you!
Note: Don't focus on your past, you are not going this way.
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
How are you doing now? I totally understand- threw months in and I’m just finally breaking the bond.
AAK.... this is too much truth. Even knowing that I have had several narcissists in my family and in past relationships, it's still a punch in the heart to hear how this can play out and what long term effects can happen. I think a lot of people who have narcissistic parents or siblings end up in relationships with narcissists because it's familiar and they may not even realize what is happening. I was certainly programmed as a child to support a narcissist and ended up doing so.... that relationship almost destroyed me. it took a lot of work and therapy to work through the long term effects.... I'm still working on them many years later. Thanks for making this video, it was a great reminder of all the ways I'm stronger now and how much healthier my relationships are. And a good reminder that when I struggle with people, it's probably because of past experiences and to be gentle and kind to myself.
Amanda? From the bottom of my heart, thank you so much! I've been listening to psych2go videos for a very long time, and always thoroughly enjoyed the knowledge it had to share. But I always especially enjoyed and felt in many ways comforted, understood, supported and not alone when hearing your voice. But hearing you address yourself and in such a way that it very much felt like you were speaking directly to me; it hit me in such a way emotionally, that I just had to say something. I desperately feel that I need to express my deepest gratitude and beg you to keep doing what you're doing! For if one person can truly be touched and have their lives altered for the better just by hearing your voice and your acknowledgement, there's no telling what you can do, how many lives you can affect and ultimately save, just by continuing to do this! To which you bless us all with & are so genuinely gifted ♡
I hate the feeling of walking on egg shell, really exhausting
Had a "friend" whose behaviour correlates with many of these points. Been about a year or so since I cut ties with him, and I'm glad I did. I still feel like they've left some marks on me in the way I interact with other people, my bad anxiety or even my indecisiveness, but I'm working on it. I'm glad I found this channel. If you're stuck in the grip of a narcissist, get away from them as fast as you can. Whether they're your friend or your significant other, relationships with them are damaging and the effects can be long-lasting. You have the power to change anything, and just know you can do it :)
This is 100%. IThank you, I needed this. I have to hear these things every so often because I find that I fall back into shaming myself over time. It’s a reminder that it wasn’t my fault, that I need to be gentle with myself and some self care is needed because I have relapsed in a sense back into assuming responsibility and shame. I was with a person who has NPD and antisocial disorder for 12 years and it really damaged me. God bless you for putting this content out for us survivors and the rest of the world that; even those the cases are so textbook, just don’t seem to get it.
This channel is what helped me realize that this is what I went through for 2 and a half years. One morning 8 signs you're dealing with narcissistic abuse popped up on my feed. I watched it and everything just clicked.
I always notice that I dissociate whenever my father is around. He's definitely a narcissistic parent. I think me and my siblings all have some kinda problem/might be mentally troubled because of how he treats us and how he shows us how he treats other people. He always show up as a good and decent person whenever he face other people but when it comes to us. Nahhhh.
They crumble when you confront them *together* .
Same my both parents are narcissist. But i dont see them as narcissistic as a person. Because im not sure if they are narcissist as a person. :(
Exactly!!!!
they're like that. I tell other people that i don't talk to my mom and they think i'm some ungrateful person. I always get "But she's your mother." Because people just don't understand. Even when they meet her, they'll think i'm lying or something. It's only if they're around long enough to see her true colors that they'll finally understand. The last guy i seriously dated hates her. We dated for years, and he got to know her well enough to see, and now he can't stand her.
But other people who meet her, or don't know her that well, she's got them all fooled into thinking she's so damn nice, and then i look like the crazy one. I guess my point is, I believe you. You're not eh crazy one. Those other people just don't know the truth
I kinda relate,not really like you but I had similar situation
When I tried to set boundaries growing up, I wish my mother would have given me the silent treatment rather than the verbal beatings she would give me.
I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
Trust me....
*Silent treatment are DEADLY!!!💀 Humans always somehow are Resilient and come around when beaten, but those deadly silent treatments are deafening, daunting, eerie, long suffering, tormenting and emotionally painful....* 😣
The emotional support from others in a community can help victims of this type of abuse recover and is so appreciated.✌🏼
Thanks Psych. Just recovered from one of the worst panic attacks of my life and I'm definitely seeing some things crop up here and there. My friends only seek how others view them and not my feelings. And so when I was left out and mocked for certain things I felt my world crumble. It felt like I was having a heart attack and had to be taken to the ER. I still have a lot of recovering to do, but I'm just so glad other people such as myself can see a video like this to spot the signs before it is too late.
My mother's biggest flag that I see so clearly now is how she throws a pity party for herself almost every time I or my other family members/friends try to talk about our own painful experiences/traumas. It's always a competition and it's so exhausting.
This is what I’m seeing with my sister right now. It’s not a safe feeling at all. She refuses to have any vulnerable conversation unless is talking mad shit about our parents. She has no issue critiquing them but when I try to talk to her about some things I’d like support healing in regards to our past circumstances it turns into “I was abused harder and longer than you ever were, don’t make me the bad guy” when all I wanted was to talk about my feelings with her. She just graduated with her masters degree in social work and she acts like I’m attacking her.
I have nothing because of her and she still acts like she’s the victim
I feel you too, we're both in the same path. The only difference is, that my mom is super loving until my dad destroys everything. He persistently puts the blame to her for his failures although it was his fault in the first place, I've felt really sad that things doesn't turn out well especially since pandemic. Now, we're really struggling a lot in these crisis. I hope one day we'll be able to fix this relationship even though it seems impossible as it already is.
Yeah! I do not understand why someone would WANT to be sicker or worse than everyone else. That is SICK in its own way.
Literally when I opened up about CSA to a narcissist, they said, "I experienced that, too, but I'M past all of that now and don't let it rule my life." They further went on to insinuate that's just a woman's lot in life.
Ooooookay....thanks for the one-upping and guilt trip, I'd like off this ride now. 🙃
This is also an autistic response, to sad things. Like building rapport. Always make sure they're not neurodivergent.
I cried watching this, dealing with a narcissistic mother has always been so hard.
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!.
I'm so sorry for you, I really hope you're okay ;-;
@@sriku1000 shut up lmao
Yep. Me too.
❤️
Thanks Amanda for your gentle voice and the good word at the end
Victim of lifetime narcissistic abuse. All ten perfectly described me, I hope to one day get back on track with life. It’s hard to have any trust for other people now which doesn’t give me much optimism.
Same here, up until a year ago. Just trying to pick up the pieces of me that I can't recognize
You may want to avoid 'new' people for the time being, until you feel sufficiently healed. It does take time, because it seems like once you recognize narcissism, you begin to see it in everyone.
You may have to slough off old relationships with people who you thought you could trust. And it's okay, I've learned, for me to decide whether I want to be in a relationship or not, whether or not the other person is doing awful things to me. For example, I never knew it was okay to break up with someone / refuse a date / turn down a marriage proposal, unless that person was literally cheating on me in front of my face while kicking puppies and worshipping Satan. Kidding aside, I have had to learn that i don't owe anyone a relationship, my time, my body, any part of my life.
Now I can discern much better, and tend to back away from people much more quickly now. Could it be I'm turning down some potentially great relationships? Yes, there is that possibility. There is a much greater possibility, however, that I just learned how to avoid a narc or simply just don't like a certain person for whatever reason I feel like not liking them (You don't match your socks?? That's it. I'm out." ) That's okay. We have to learn what is and what is not okay. They don't have to be hitting us or calling us names. We can just simply decide, "You know what? This isn't working for me," and let them go without it becoming a major drama.
Exactly
@Joshua Ciresoli you are the guy , you are the main character
I wish you wealth success su
1: you felt like you had the perfect relationship in the beginning
2: you feel like you are walking on eggshells
3: you may have experience severe campaigns
4: you feel isolated and vulnerable (hovering)
5: you develop a pervasive sense of mistrust
6: you may engage in self sabotage and self destructive behavior
7: unexplained physical symptoms
8: you may have issues setting boundaries
9: you may question your own self identity
10: you may find it hard to make decisions
"When you get too lost by the pain, you confuse what is right and wrong anymore, thus making your actions go unnoticed while you focus on being the victim"
You have no idea how much this video just helped me with past traumas that I never even knew about myself that still effect me today 😵💫
Thanks for your calm voice, dear lady
I literally started crying from the start until the end because I was a victim of abuse by a narcisstic parent and I am really struggling by all of these things the last several years after leaving the abusive habitat. :((
And your voice is very calming and nice, you were really good at this. Thank you for educating and supporting people.
2 years of no contacts. I have her blocked in every way. I just can't get it out of my head. I hate that it is still there . I don't want to waste any more of my time thinking about her or the abuse . It took me 14 years to realize I was never going to make her happy. Now I have to figure out how to make myself happy.
@@brianreed8271 I wish you the best of luck. I suggest you to get a professional help by a therapist who could help you to get on the track. Remember that none of it was ever your fault and you deserve to be treated kindly just like everybody else. 🥺🥺❤
Contact 👆👆 For Help...
😞😞
I’m crying right now
I really relate to all the points. I can’t tell you how many times I have questioned my sanity. These people are crazy.
Me too
Yes. I realate to this video. Since the beginning of this year I've been following videos from this channel and other channels. It's such a relief to discover I'm not dumb or crazy😰💜. Thanks again for this support💓
This is such an important video. I've lived with abuse from childhood that followed me throughout my life to now. It's too late for me but others younger than me, seek help asap. That will be the only way to recover.
THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING
When you need therapy but because of trust issues and anxiety, you avoid it like the plague 😅
Sooo me
I avoid it because of my parents, they wouldnt allow me saying "you are healthy you dont have to go to therapy, talk to us instead of giving money to talk to someone" etc. They are not that understanding :((
@@ipeks.5959 When you become an adult, it'll get far better... assuming that your parents are not severe narcissists who like to control you so much that you cannot leave the house, buy anything, or get paid a single penny any day.
As an adult, you'll have a job, and you'll have money to be able to leave home eventually which some of that money is from your parents' pockets, and have enough for therapy. If you need to and it's not that severe, which most people tend to ignore for some reason, counselling is free (at least where I live) or of a low price so you should make as much use of that as possible.
And there's always coaches.
@@bunille thank you, ı plan to go once ı live on my own. For now I'm at university and therapies are really pricey in my country
Relatable
Im still suffering ptsd from a narcissistic abusive relationship I left over 10 years ago. Many symptoms listed in your videos. Please keep up this content so other victims can understand what's happening and gain validation.
« In you taking the time to learn about narcissistic victim syndrome, you’re empowering yourself. Once you know, you can grow. »
Gosh ! You hit me on that one. 😭😭😭😭😭 I need to write this down and will read it every day. Thank you ! 🙏
My mom used the be worst when i was younger. I'm not the type of child that would shut up if i got mistreated. As i grow up her argument become more unclear and weaker, she always tries to change the topic to edge me and make me feel I'm the worst but since i started standing up for myself (literally using logical argument) she stopped since last year and changing slowly. I thought I'm the only one noticing but my sister too.
Just keep in mind that wanting to have control over her is sort of a flipside of what she's doing, just that you're her kid, so it can't be excused as normal as kids are not supposed to have control over their parents, at all. You see her as weak and see yourself as strong, I don't know what exactly to say to that, but whether or not you're a narc yourself is confusing, but you definitely haven't been hurt by one because victims develop a dependence and warped love for them, not hate. ...Also that it may be genetic.
I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
@@bunille no why would i?? I just wanted her hug and smile. She never hugs me when I'm awake. Now she even drag my feet and i hug her everyday. Which she was refusing for the past years. I just wished we were like this since the beginning. Haha not related at all but if I'm gonna talk about something related is that she actually listens to me. Before she gonna use the information to guilt trip me.
And no it's not i see her as weak. Read my paragraph again. It's her argument.
@@bunille also idk about the love part but definitely dependence. Cause she's of course my mom.
Same here. But now im just tried of her immature arguments. I dont talk with her anymore. Im just really tired and want to get of this family. So i just keep quiet and receive all the pain no matter how it makes me suicidal.
I feel like my friend (who I'll call Burrito) might have this... They dates a girl that I'll call her... Janine. Janine was nice at first, and even I got along with her. But she started acting really suspicious, and if I remember clearly, she cheated on Burrito. So they broke up. Janine agreed to stay friends with us. But that didn't last for long. She started spreading rumours and turning Burritos friends against them. We were obviously really pissed. Janine started doing all of these really manipulative things... I think I might send this video to my friend and see how they feel. Because I feel like all of these apply to them.
Burrito if you see this comment, just know I love you okay? You're very strong and I believe in you. ❤️
Thank you for this! Both my parents specially my dad, but my mom's was more hurtful (rip)... I'm in therapy now, and in a nontoxic serious relationship. It takes time, I'm grateful for this channel, super helpful. 🙏🏻😊
The end made me cry, I have a narcissistic parent and have been really going through it lately but this video made me feel a little bit better. Thank you for the video you guys make great content
“Once you know, you can grow” ~~ Powerful.
When you mentioned the silent treatment as a form of abuse i knew this was for me. My abuser would DEMAND silence (like weeks of zero contact) over the smallest inconvenience on their part (let me tell you about the final straw with them). And when they finally would speak to me, they wouldn’t address the issue or have a healthy conversation about the thing that led to the silent treatment. Just be like yeah we’re cool and then be fine until the next thing i did wrong. It was always something different. I made sooo much of an effort to give them what they wanted but that was never good enough and the cycle would repeat itself. They also accused me on multiple occasions that I was gaslighting them that by the time i realized what gaslighting was, i became very aware that it was them gaslighting me and gaslighting me by accusing me of doing it to them.
Yes. If you don’t take yourself out of that abuse the cycle just continues. I lived on that roller coaster for two-and-half years. Been no contact now for nine months. Everyday is still a struggle but I keep trying to move forward and not back. Hang in there!
The silent treatment was so fucking painful. They knew exactly how much it hurt us and they loved it, and they knew that we’d forgive them as soon as they decided they were no longer mad at us :(
Ghosting and gaslighting when you ask them for accountability lol 🌈
My mother would do this to me as a child. The silent treatment until I would apologize and begged for affection even though it wasn’t my fault. She has been dead for over 20 years now but I still feel like a frightened little child and I still miss her. She used to make all the decisions for me. As a result, I’m a very indecisive adult and have very low self esteem and I’m a people pleaser.
@@truthh8597 I use ghosting and silent treatment especially on narcissists. It works...so well.
I have NPD, and I used to be an extreme emotional manipulator in 2020, untill I was groomed and abused myself and finally found out that who I was was awful. I'm happy to say I'm getting better as a person, and I love this video, I wish I had seen it when I was younger. It would've respected and loved people around me so much more😔
Borderline with narc traits here - thank you for doing the work. It’s a sad truth that you’re probably going to get hateful responses because pwNPD are so harshly demonized and stigmatized, but NPD is a trauma disorder, usually onset by abuse from a cluster B parent, just like the other cluster B disorders. Cluster Bs are usually products of other cluster Bs I’ve noticed. You’re doing amazing and the fact you want to be better shows you are a good person at heart, no matter the survival skills you picked up through your trauma. Keep doing the work and you’re golden. Sending you sm love, strength, and success in your recovery from NPD ❤
Keep going I suck too
I'm recently getting therapy after getting PTSD from a narcissistic abusive relationship. Thank you so much for these videos they help a lot and make me realize that I ignored a lot and let a lot of my boundaries get violated. I can't tell you how much these videos have been a benefit to the recovery. The sad part is that I will always love her and forgive her for everything
I'm an introvert and an empath. I've been living with "family" for the past 4 months now. This house is full of extroverts and narcissists. There is not a single introvert. These 4 months have changed me in so many ways. I laugh less, smile less, feel more lonely, I'm feel more exhausted, stressed and the list goes on. Can't wait to get out of here.
hope you're doing okay
Same here once I left it felt so free
I so feel this
God yes. I do feel for you and hope you found a way out. Being an introvert and just by simply being around extroverts will definitely make you feel drained.
I honestly cried watching this video. I’m experiencing this with my parents, for years it felt like i was never going to find an answer or some type of clue that i could discuss with a therapist. This video is literally explaining my whole entire life. Now as an adult, i have multiple mental health issues to the point, i can’t even function on some days. Thank you for making these videos, they honestly give me the hope and courage i need. You guys are just beyond amazing💕
You are beyond amazing!
Thank you for your support. We hope you'll continue to get better and stronger :)
Feel proud that you are strong enough to see the problem so now you can focus on healing and loving yourself first...I have been through it, you can do it too
All I can say is that; these videos weren't around back in the day 1981-1982. When I first encounter a relationship with a narcissist I had no clue/knowledge about NPD , and I was very young 16 -17 years old, that relationship last one year, I had no support from my family they would team up with the narc boyfriend against me, I prayed for away out, God heard my cry and freed me from that toxic hell (thank you Jesus), and thank you for sharing your videos they're educational and informative.
I’m 53 I married my wife 15 years ago. I already had complex PTSD going into our marriage. I am ashamed to admit it by I am terribly 10 out of 10. In the last year she has filed for divorce 3 times. 10 days ago, out of nowhere she came to me and wanted to be held. I knew something was VERY WRONG.
We ended up on the bed. “On” the bed, not in “the sheets.” She always used to lay her head on my chest. It was very nice for me because it has been over a year since she last did that. This turned into the biggest sob fest of tears I have ever seen one from her.
She said I know you hate me now. I’m so sorry for this and that. She had never apologized for anything. Not only was she saying how sorry she was but she was actually giving me details. I had no idea who was on my chest. She turned to me and the crying continued. Real tears for a long time. She 3anted us to do this & do that. I know what her #1 buzz kill is. She has a giant wedding ring she no longer deserves. I’m thinking ok, let’s just see how serious all of this is. I said if this is how you really feel, let’s put our rings back on and try to be “us” again.
Do you know what an 18 wheeler sounds like when you put on the air breaks and then let off? BWAHAHAHAHAHA.
All of that bullshit stopped so fast. Of course the ring was at her girlfriend’s place where she normally has been staying. More bullshit. You don’t leave a $20K wedding ring over at your friends place. I knew alll of it was bullshit. However I don’t know what got into her the apologies. She has never said, “I’m sorry in 15 years so I’m very puzzled.” 2 days later I got served for the 3rd time. Sh’e gone right back to being a stone cold puppy producer. Our lease is up end of May.
I love her still through it all because it was great for a time. As it stands now I’m going to my own place. She is already trying to put her foot in the door over there. She says I can’t just take my complex PTSD service dog and not allow her to see my dog so she can come & go when she wants to. More bullshit.
My writing doesn’t reflect my pain & damage. I need some good advice.
My dad’s a narcissist I have a lot of commonalities with him, and quite frankly I really wish I wasn’t one as well. I’ve been refusing it for so long but my dad took a huge toll on my life and I don’t want to do all he did to me to my future children. But now having watched the video and realize I relate to all of these, I see that yes, I have narcissistic victims syndromes, and I’m pissed off about it.
check out narcissist chronicles on youtube. he’s a narc slayer! he might be able to help you.
@Oliver Erz Thank you for this mate, thank you. I don’t often receive words of encouragement and hearing them even from a stranger mean a lot.
I’m sorry you had to through that with your friend :( They’re clearly missing out cause you seem great, I’m happy you were able to move on and be happier without them
@@childofchrist Hmm seems intriguing, I’ll check him out, thanks.
My dad too. I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
You may have traits but I can already tell you are no narcissist, my friend. In my experience, the TOP signs is they have ZERO empathy, take no accountability, and they always have a mountain of excuses ready. They think they're "the best" and literally can't/refuse to acknowledge their faults. Keep working on yourself and you will see it through!
It took me 7 years to almost be over it. I started to disassociate 4 years after I walked away. And somehow on the 7 years I couldn't understand what was happening to me, regression in speech, extreme memory loss, seeing things, and so on. I got so scared one night, I think it made me snapped out of it. Although Im still fragile. I'm here to listen if someone needs to vent or talk.
What do you mean snap out of it?
it’s so hard when you think that you’re snapping out of it
I'm still struggling and brain scrambled stuttering all the time🙄
I hope you heal from this awful experience and we are also here for you. In my experience with a narc, after being with this person for almost a year and a half, I think I just gradually detached myself to him cause before that detachment, i was really torn on leaving him officially because i felt like i was so dependent on him but he was also never there to emotionally support me when I needed it. so right after all of his mistreatments like cheating on me, thats when I realized I needed to escape that relationship slowly but also officialy. because the earlier times I tried to break off with this person, he was constantly gaslighting me and threatening me to not leave him which was so tormenting to deal with cause I knew I was not happy about it.
Just want to say I hope your in a better place. You coming back home to urself will always always be worth the struggle of overcoming the pain
Thank you. The points were spot on, and the music was beautifully relaxing.
I Am Definitely a Victim of this Abuse. His favorite is the Silent Treatment. These People are Evil and selfish self centered Losers. I have healed and he is no longer someone I need in my life!! Thank You God!!
I need your healing strength, my head is pickled and heart broken after what she did to me. Glad you made the right choice, I'm trying to stay no contact and attempt to heal. Christmas isn't going to be very pleasant but I'm sure hers will be with whatever supply she chooses to spend it with. Honestly makes me feel sick to my core.
"once you know, you can grow; acknowledging the effects of being in a narcissistic relationship is the first step to healing from one" (8:20)
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
*“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”* ―Dale Carnegie
Love from a small channel💙
"A SMALL CHANNEL WHO ONE DAY WILL BE BIG"keep doing bro,one day u will make it,also thx for the quote it raised in me a motivated beast haha xD
thank you amanda for ur personal point in the end. my abuser is my mom and i realise many of my personality trait or day to day difficulty is link to her abuse…thank you
I think it's harder to recognize this abuse when you grew up with it. I tried to start my own life without dealing with what I'd experienced and it ended up following me around like a shadow. Every step in understanding what I went through has begun to free my mind. It's painful for sure but I'm tired of it's role in my life!
You are not alone and you are doing a great job🙏🏻
It's like a dark force folowing your steps preventing your from achieving good in life
There is a recent song by Metallica that talks about that. It is calles Shadows Follow.
During most of my life, music was my only source of listening to empowering words being said to me, and it succed. That's why I love heavy metal.
Chasing Light is another one if you are interested.
You can search for a lyric video or even they are uploaded in my channel in 432hz frequency.
I definitely feeling like I’m stuck in a healing trauma loop. I am definitely really happy to be free now. I see all the abuse I endured and it’s hard to believe how it happened. But sometimes I feel like I can’t get beyond the treatment, it was so life-altering and feeling like so few around me really understand is futher isolating. Not to mention the trigger of all that still support a person so evil after you reach out for help. It’s further invalidating and makes you feel worthless as a human that people don’t care enough to help.
i feel like i can relate to this in some way. in other people’s eyes i seem to be clear minded and like i know better than to stay (since im always sad about my family problems) but my survival tactics had me stuck on a loop where i didn’t even know i was literally numb! for years! it would come in waves too, i’d be doing good taking care of myself for some weeks or months and then my anxiety around others will build up till i break down again and after so many times i feel like people believe i’m making excuses for myself and now believe IM the problem. which is now my learned subconscious thought/fear 😞
Facts and going through the same thing
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
Healing trauma loop... Thank you for putting this into words. I am in this loop for almost four years since I've broken up with my abuser. Few months back I learned from a common friend that he's in a new relationship and how he's doing terrible things to his new partner. And this person tells me further that she likes it that way... Who likes to be abused? No one. I don't get people who just stand by and watch their close ones drown. I am so creeped out by this news, just by thinking that it could have been me still in that situation....
I am a male and this actually opened my eyes to the fact that I have been, in the past in a narcissistic abusive relationship towards me. I did not realize it until listening to this podcast. My lady friend at the time would give me silent treatments over perhaps something I said even though it wasn’t mean or nasty I had to watch what I say and she would give me a silent treatment for days if not a week or more. She would also twist my words of things I said. One day and she was giving me the silent treatment I told her when she’s done playing games let me know and we’ll talk. She never did that to me again. I always felt that I was walking on eggshells and I had to watch what I said around her because she would twist it or go off in a rage. She kept wanting me to sell my house and move to another state and I told her that I was not willing to do that and I told her that I was tired of her pushing me to do things that I did not want to do. That angered her and she moved out of our bedroom into another room and she played the silent game again walking around me and not saying a word for over a week until she got over it. We are no longer in a relationship.
I am just coming out of similar...feel dead inside right now...but it can only get better x
I hope you will be ok!
You definitely made the right decision 🎯🎯⭐️⭐️
@@baba440 check out dads surviving divorce channel too…..Duane had same….3 kids, covert narc wife….he took the plunge several yrs ago & now helps others….he has camping channel too showing the joys of living true to yourself 💙
Tan-
Jeez man up. You sound like a pity party. You’re lucky to even have a gf because you don’t seem like a joy to have around.
hey amanda the voice over thanks for doing so much work, and being upbeat
Your videos are ALWAYS SPOT ON. Thank you for being you and putting this out here for us 💜🌻💜🌞
“If you feel like you are lacking motivation to pursue your dreams and goals, than this could be a sign of narcissistic abuse.” Woah. 😳 🤯
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
Accurate
A good quote I came across.. If their absence brings you peace you never lost them 🖤
Contact 👆👆 For Help.
Yes. All of the above. I made it out once.This last summer I went 2 short & homeless, liberating, peaceful, healing, optimistic months without letting him in. While my son was temporarily staying w/family because things were so rough I wanted him to be in a stable, healthy, happy environment. Even though they think I’m the anti-Christ. Even my severe health problems, diseases, & mental health issues started improving. While homeless & very little medical availability at that. It was wonderful. I was working on temporary housing, medical transportation & more.
Then my husband texted me, saying there’s a emergency w/our 12 yr old son & him.(it was a lie). I had blood poisoning at the time & (temporary minor brain damage & needing a couple weeks of 24/7 care w/very little medical resource for that. Thank God I at least had antibiotics).
In SOME 🤷🏼♀️, under the radar very convincing way. He compassionately & repently told me he knew exactly how I felt & why I left. And for the first time in 17 years told me he understands. He took 100% blame. Deeply apologized. Promised “all of that abuse is over”. God showed him how he was horrible to me & promised me that’s not gonna happen anymore. He EVEN said he’ll take me back to the shelter after I’m better & get to spend time w/our son. So I can continue to do what I needed. All while he was doing the most successful “smear campaign” yet. I didn’t even know what that was. 🥺💔After 17 years of complete isolation, mental, emotional & physical violent abuse. Those 2 months were very hard & scary. But easier & I had hope & oxygen for the first time in a while. I had such a huge, clear unpolluted view of everything he’s been doing. All my mistakes & failures. Ways to change my ways of thinking. That I was valuable, needed & wanted. Especially by my son. That everything WASN'T my fault. What was & wasn’t my fault. That I CAN succeed. My faith was nearly gone. But I started thinking “maybe God DOESN'T hate me. I wanted to work on my faith.
It’s been almost 3 months back at “home”. I failed. Myself and everyone that helped me. I’ve only seen my son 3 times. I’m sicker than I’ve ever been. I’m burned out. He’s NEVER been so continuously cruel. Screaming. Violent. Daily punishment. He blames me for his health problems. Our son’s need to be with HIS mom & dad. Just everything. He says he NEVER said he’d change or promised anything. That I left because I had no choice. NOT because of him. He always says I lie and make up things he says. Maybe I am crazy. Horrible. I feel like I’m in hell. He takes most of my medication, puts them in his many safes. I don’t have the codes. He Takes what he “needs”. Tells me it’s “the least” I can do.
I can’t understand WHY ANYONE would want to be & want to fight & compete to be sicker, suffering & in more pain than anyone else in the world. It’s beyond me. There is no winning. I’m out of strength and will. I have never felt so defeated.
TYSM for the educational posts. Helps me understand my flaws & weaknesses. The comments are encouraging. I appreciate everyone here barring their own hearts too.
Be safe, have a wonderful Christmas and new year. 🙏🏻💜
No offense but your son needs to be your top concern. I’m thankful your son was staying with family
I kept getting sick when I was eating the food he would generously bring back or snack on anything opened in the frig.
I know it sounds absolutely crazy but people like that don’t think the same way - they want to control and hurt. It’s like he would get pleasure from me suffering and say things to brainwash me into thinking I was “crazy” for being sick. 🫣🤌
I haven’t been sick since I refused to eat anything from him.
I don’t eat anything opened or touch the left-overs in the frig.
And now I’ve been healthy!
Coincidence?
Maybe.
Doctors couldn’t explain why I kept getting blood poisoning - they thought fast food, bad water, a bacterial infection that was prolonged - probably “autoimmune” they’d say.
Last time it got to my brain and I went from thriving straight A student going back to college to bed ridden after I took a trip out of state he wasn’t happy about.
They called it a neurotoxin but could not locate the source of the illness. 😳🫠🤦♀️
To anyone else -
I sound nuts to blame someone who is suppose to love me.
Even writing this, it makes me question my sanity but you can’t help question- how did I go from so healthy and vibrant to deathly ill??
Just doesn’t make sense.
Docs couldn’t explain it either.
after I returned from the trip he kept bringing me coffee in the morning, at night he’d bring back food - he was so sweet and kind for the first time in a LONG time. He said how “proud” he was of me etc.
Then, I had horrible stomach pains, nonstop nausea, night sweats, exhaustion, I couldn’t focus - I felt like I was fighting a losing battle - no antibiotic worked. In and out of the ER bc I’d shake, vomit daily, bad migraines, toes and fingers would turn blue, I couldn’t eat etc.
I took back my power & healed myself when I stopped eating the shyt he so kindly gave me.
New tooth brush
Water bottles
Sealed food only
🤷🏻♀️ just might work…
I’m sorry to hear that’s what you are going through, what he had done to you is missed up. Maybe you can try to leave again? And not going back to him no matter what he says? ‘Cause it seems like he’s not going to change and he doesn’t care about you after all. You deserve a better life.
Please leave. There’s no reason for you to stay. If you can take your child and stay with family, please do. There’s no reason to stay.
I have been questioning so much... until I read your posts. He also apologised, for real, as in I believed him. It sounded right. He acknowledged that the abuse, the police response, his subsequent isolation from our mutual friends: it was all his fault. He admitted it. I felt heard and believed for the first time in my life. My narcissistic mom was never so forthright or honest.
Even today, I thought if he is real and genuine I don't have to be homeless anymore. Granted, it's only been 6 weeks and friends have been so generous and helpful, but I'm 50 years old and should not be sleeping on a couch. I do not have children, but I'm a known animal rescuer in Ireland and that has largely contributed to the support. But, I nearly asked him today if there was a chance we (I) could fix the relationship.
And, I read your post. If l go back to him now, in a week or a month or so I will be in a worse scenario than I am now.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. I needed to take a step back and remember: if I did go back now, it would injure me permanently.
Much love. You're stronger than you realise. You can get your son back and overcome this current suffering. Believe this because I believe you! :)