“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but you stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.” - Jill Blakeway
Caring for a narcissist is the worst thing you can do to yourself, they will capitalise on that, emotionally exploit you and leave you feeling chronically stressed and miserable. And yes, I'm talking from experience.
They would just twist words to no end even if it becomes utterly ridiculous and you actually wonder if they do not know what’s acceptable behavior. But the kicker is that they do, hence the public facade. All that word salad and pretending not to know what normal behavior is? Is them lying like a toddler trying to get away from facing the consequences and the shame of the shit they done. Except a toddler might actually have more insight of what they are doing, and narcissists are not in touch with themselves. And they are worse because they don’t care if you get hurt by their gaslighting. Bloody pathetic and evil. The only way to call out a narcissist is to say what you mean to say and ignore all the lying and gaslighting coming from them. Nuh-uh, you did it, nah that’s not acceptable, nah I’m not ‘overly dramatic or sensitive’ just being normal, nope I’m not gonna take it (and when they issue the ultimatum lol) okay buh-bye. Do not get caught up in their world of confusion, do not let them drag you into the mud with their personal attacks, never attempt to debate and always stay on topic. This is of course not the way to interact with normal people, just narcissistic individuals.
The worst thing about narcissists, in my opinion, is how they will NEVER stop blaming others for things, or stop completely running away from accountability. This video hit so close to home, it's heartbreaking 😢
The worst part to me, is how easily they can turn everything around and make themselves look like the victim and everyone else look like perpetrators. They can destroy a person's reputation while keeping their own intact. No matter how much the Truth teller cries out, shows evidence of their own innocence / the narcissist's guilt, videos, pictures, letters, eyewitness...none of it matters. Your character has already been assassinated, so therefore you will not be listened to. I have effectively gone no contact with my entire family of origin for this reason. I don't miss a thing about it, either. It's nice going without constant derision, mockery, ridicule and dismissal.
@@dannikkaquinn9698 it is. The projection and gaslighting will drive a person crazy. Coupled with blame shifting and verbal/physical abuse, and that will break someone...
A NUT CASE...I HATE THE DAY I MET HIM.... HE'S A WASTE OF BREATH! He still says today that he's waiting for me to get MYSELF TOGETHER & let him come back.
1. 1:07 you felt like you had a perfect relationship 2. 2:03 you feel like you're walking on eggshells 3. 2:34 you may have experienced smear campaigns 4. 3:14 you feel isolated and vulnerable 5. 3:50 you've developed a pervasive sense of mistrust 6. 4:15 you may engage in self destructive behavior 7. 5:03 you may experience unexplained physical symptoms 8. 5:33 you may have issues setting boundaries 9. 6:24 you may be questioning your own identity 10. 7:15 you may find it hard to make decisions edit: to everyone saying thanks, y'all are so sweet. i generally do this when noone has yet for myself but im happy it helps others as well :)
Duck.. duck.. GOOSEBUMPS! Dam. I'M IT. As referenced, Dr Vander Kolk, is a top Expert on Trauma and it's effects on the human body. 👏👏 One day I hope to meet him.
The rumination is the worst thing ever. I can't stop ruminating about previous/future interactions. The thoughts and overall feeling of apprehension about the next interaction keep piercing through like sharp knives.
I am a broken person. Recently I started seeing a professional about my childhood trauma and it's way worse than I ever imagined. If I had not had my son I may never have pursued the help I needed. With the birth of my son I started trying to change myself to be the best father I can for him. In doing so, I realized how hard my father was on me, to the point that I've had to cut him out of my life completely. It's terrifying realizing that all my anger was born through pain, abuse, and mental torture. Luckily I have a chance to grow to be the best man I can be, and be the father my son deserves. Please don't hide behind your anger, it will only leave you lonely and empty.
I recently saw a therapist too. He insist my parents aren't qnd that i should go back to them even though he hasn't met them. But im scared. I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
Whenever I have an emotional breakdown due to the heaviness of prolonged narcissistic treatment from my husband, everyone in my life looks at ME like I'm a freak! No one cares what brought me to that state. Thank you for the informational with a calm, empathetic voice.
This is what happened to me. An ex partner used gaslighting, other emotional and physical abuse when I fought back. Had 12yrs of it and it destroyed me. I trust no one completely anymore Edit: I was putting a couple of spelling mistakes to right and I accidentally deleted some of the info in this post. I’m in a bit of a mind block at the moment and I can’t remember it, sorry
@MykeWinters I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you find some peace and happiness in your life. I know now for myself, and I hope you know as well, that you deserve to be loved and that person that hurt you, was wrong in so many ways. Best wishes.
@LM-ql4zh I hope you can find peace in your life soon. No one deserves to be abused. Seek help, if possible, even if you have to open up to your doctor, a teacher, a friend, anyone. Be safe, and best wishes.
@@lonelywriter88 that’s a very nice thing to say, thank you so much for taking the time to say it to me. Some people can be be evil and look like angels to others. She had a nice side, usually because I gave in to her so I didn’t get a confrontation. God there’s so much that happened and is still happening in my life with family and friends. Currently have a therapist and keyworker. Despite having trust issues, I have put my trust in them….hoping that these people don’t abandon me like a few others have that were supposed to help me. I say trust, I do, but there is always a part of me that is expecting them to break it or abandon me. Thank you again for your comment, you are a good heart and a decent person. Take care and very best wishes to you in 2024 🙏☮️
Who else grew up with a narcissistic mom and is dealing with their trauma now🙋🏽♀️ Edit: seeing all of the replies really breaks my heart because I can relate SO MUCH to all of you, just know you are loved and if someone ever needs to talk just ask me for my number and I’m here!!💗 we can get through this together
My abuser has literally asked me if I am “getting worn down yet” and am I “ready to stop fighting and let them have their way.” You hit the nail on the head!!! 🤦🏾♀️
In my 21 years of being with a covert narcissist I see these traits. 1. Incapable and unwilling to take any accountability for the chaos, dramas and mind manipulating confusion they create. 2. Always blame others for their problems. 3. Can't take the slightest criticism however we'll intentioned or kindly expressed. They see it as a massive ego attack. 4. Harbour resentments and grudges, loving to remind you of something that you said or did decades ago ( even if it never happened the way they recall it) 5. Cannot regulate their emotions and use you as their scapegoat and emotional waste bin. 6. Chronically bored Always seeking the next thing to find some thrill or distraction. 7. Like to bring you down to their low vibe Misery seeking level. 8. Highly jealous and envious of other but always denying it. 9. They feel entitled to having control of you and their needs met but don't genuinely appreciate what you do for them. 10. Create stress upsets and arguments then attack and blame you for being upset with them, like kicking a dog and saying it's crazy for bark ing at them. 11. Make their own rules about what you should think do and say while they follow no rules at all. 12. Talk about others behind their back and smear you to their family and friends to gain sympathy . In short the traits of childlike behaviour before a healthy fully functioning self aware and socially developed grown up appears. What they seek is a parent figure who will accept them as if still a child in an adult body. To love such a person requires a true Saint. A mere mortal will suffer and become ill physically mentally and emotionally abandoning themselves trying to rescue someone from their own self Sabotaging behaviours. .
Literally what I am dealing with. I left my narc husband in Dec 2023. We coparent our 3 year old. I have to see him everyday and he pushes my boundaries constantly. I have no support so he loves the fact that he is still in the picture. He acts out all the time. I’m happy I have my own home, sense of peace but I have to figure out how to bring more separation because I hate interacting. He Hoovers and I’m tired. I just want to be done already!!
When you come from a family origin of narcissistic abuse, you’re more susceptible to fall into narcissistic relationships in adult life. Whether with a partner or friend. We seek familiarity unfortunately, it’s just how we were programmed to function during childhood. There is hope, you’re not alone and continue to seek help! These informative videos help a bunch. Dr. Ramani’s videos are very helpful when it comes down to toxic and narcissistic abuse!
@@ryannvolner7676 I’m sorry to hear that, stay strong! Thank you for sharing that, the communities built amongst these channels may help as support groups :)
My mum is a narcisist and she gets mad if i get mad becoz she criticizes my every move and calling it "training" i mean what in the absolute fuck is criticism training
you can get away from these relationships, i promise. it’s hard, and tiring, but once you make it, you’re walking on air. take it from someone who’s been through it and made it out the other end. remember, i love you and you’re valid 💜
Kinda hard when you've got no where to go and you can't get a job with stable enough income to save money to move away and even if you did manage it, you have no clue how to live on your own or do anything for yourself...
I've been feeling like I've truly been moving on lately. I feel like my main and tertiary problems aren't problems anymore. I still feel the pain, but it erodes over time. And that's the key word, time heals everything.
I was dying in my last relationship. My body was shutting down from the stress and anguish. I thought I was crazy and all of my symptoms were a consequence from the abuse.I am so grateful to have gotten out. Thank you for creating this video.
As a result of abuse,you feel victimized,manipulative tactics start to appear,your sensitive to any threat and act accordingly,slander and a smear campaign ensues,isolated and vulnerable,you should talk about it,anxious to rectify the gaslighting could cause self sabotage❌
I just got out of a bad relationship (my very first serious relationship) too not knowing anything about narcissism or anything like that and now 2-3 years later I’ve learnt what gaslighting is and just can’t imagine why someone would treat another human being like that like how could they be so self centred, there were so many times where he’d stare at his phone and just listen to me cry and not once did he try to comfort me.. I was the most loving person I could possible have ever been to him and he didn’t really even care.
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
This is exactly the story of my life. It's hard to recognize being a victim. A relationship of 4 years of abuse drained my life to the point that I thought I was dead. Just recently I started to live again but it's so hard, I never do comments for videos but this time I feel 100% identified cause I feel this video was made for me and as I'm writing this comment I have tiers. Don't mean to look petty or nothing. For whoever reading this comment right now and had a situation like this I want to tell you that even in the darkest moments you are never alone, just reaching to someone and saying something will make you feel a bit better. Even writing a comment. Sending tons of good vibes to everyone here.
It's also the story of mine. I was married to a narcissist for 14 years and had 2 children with him. We were only married 3 weeks the first time he slapped me across my face. His abuse was so bad that he had me convinced I couldn't make it on my own and times when I'd try to leave he would verbally beat me down telling me I'm used goods and no man would ever want me. Just like you, just watching this video brought me to tears. We've been divorced for almost 10 years now and myself and our children are still in therapy to this day due to PTSD from the situation. Just like you, I felt dead. It's taken me years and years of medication and therapy to realize I wasn't the problem and that I didn't cause the abuse. I'm still working on myself and I hope you are too! We can overcome!
I'm sending you loads of love and to say that there is someone who is out there for you and will treat you like a queen I never wanted to date another man or anyone I wanted to be on my own so I broke away from everybody even my family and I became a self harmer as he made me feel like I was the one who was bad, but then I realised that it was him all along so I finally managed to get out and then I met someone who took care of me and was so supportive with my mental health and self harming I no longer do that anymore and I'm now married to someone who always puts me first I've never had that experience of any Man but it feels so good, so now I look at myself and i say I'm not a victim I'm a surveyor but I know what it's like you love them in a funny way and don't want them to leave but then i realised i was afraid of being on my own and alone i never loved him at all i was just scared to be alone and unhappy but I was unhappy very it took me a while to release that he never loved me at all he was so controlling told me what to wear, what makeup to wear and always told me off when other men just say hi and it was my fault and that's when I knew I had to get out and i did it I dumped his arse when I saw him on Facebook talking sexual to another woman so I dumped his arse by phone which probably was the worse way to dump someone by phone but I'm so proud of myself and where I am now so stay positive there is someone out there that will treat you like you deserve to be treated hun not like a door mat but like a queen just hold on in there it will happen hun one you'll be surprised that someone who will always put you first even before themselves they'll makesure that you are ok and are happy hang on in there hun. Much love ❤️ to you from me who knows what you've gone through it's not easy 💯 but you are a surveyor your not a victim like everybody says and that I'm also very vulnerable person which I hate that v Word and victim I'm a surveyor just like you hun 😘we are both surveyor's of a very nasatistic nasty, evil person I wouldn't call it human that's not what us humans do it's not normal it's sick 🥰🥰❤️❤️
Try 20 years and 4 kids, wow what a nightmare that was, 2 yrs after divorce im still realizing just how messed up my head became. The bad part is I was to blind by love to realize it until recently smh sure hope the damage is reversible cause id sure love to have my life back, whatever it was like lol can't even remember. Best wishes for you and everyone else in need. I hope all can make a recovery and live a happy life
Are you doing any better? I left my husband 4mos ago and I feel just as bad now as I did when I left. We were together 18 years and I just can’t move on. I actually want to be back with him, which I know is completely stupid!
Same.. And people think it's because I'm lazy. It has made me feel worthless and self doubt myself. I just wish I could sleep all day, just sleep and pass away. Death seems to be peaceful than this horrific life.
@@helloitsme-_- please talk to someone! Trust me I understand how sleep seems so good. Stay busy if you can. Praying has helped me but so have a therapist and friends. You will survive this time. You will. I’m still going through rough times…I cry a lot! But remember this isn’t forever, it’s just for now. 🙏🏽🥰
@@El_Roi75 ohh, thank you for your concern.. I appreciate people like you who understand, but I don't have friends whom I can rely on or my family. I'm not going to give up on my life though, I'm trying my best. You too don't worry. I read somewhere that you deserve to be loved the way you love someone else. So we should take care of ourselves first, and hopefully everything will be fine soon. Everything will be peaceful and in its place soon in our lives. Leaving such a relationship is the first step for it, and there is no going back. Even if it hurts and feels like we should go back to them, just don't. I wish you good luck, stay strong. I will try my best too, and follow self care to improve my situation. Thank you 😊
its cause we build our life around them. remove the cause and you find how much of your life they consumed. but building afresh is so invigorating, even your closest friends don't realise how much of an amazing person you are inside. survive a narcessist and you can survive anything!
This made me cry a lot. I don’t feel so alone hearing this, at least. I’m scared and I’m trying to undo some of my collapsed boundaries, but I’m really really struggling. This is real. I deal with this every day. And if you’re out there and you deal with this too, I’m so sorry. You are strong. I believe in you.
Thank you ^^ i wish you nothing but the best. I go through it everyday too some being harsher then others, but never give in to it. And if anyone needs to talk feel free to comment here. No one deserves to go through this especially alone.
Please listen to coach Jesse on " Narcissist Chronicles" , and become a warrior and an effective narcissist slayer. Agape love to you! Note: Don't focus on your past, you are not going this way.
My dad was a narcissistic abuser. Beat me and emotionally/verbally abused me for 20 years growing up. Finally confronted him yesterday. He laughed in my face and said that it was all a lie that my mum (who is a psychologist) put in my head to steal me away from him. He is fucking insane. Thank you for making this video. I love my mother, more than anything in the world. But 3 hours with this man made me begin questioning that and everything I experienced as a kid. This video helped me understand how he is twisting my mind. I'm done with him. Moving on. Trusting my body and my experiences. Good luck to anyone out there experiencing this. TRUST. YOUR. BODY. Trust facts, not stories. I love you all!❤
I identify with this. About 7 years ago I left a religious way of thinking and lost all my friends and was separated from my family because I still had not stopped being afraid and over reacting to threats. I am now back with my wife and children..
My dad is the exact same way. Likes to turn everything on either me, my mother, or my grandma. He never did anything wrong in his eyes and neither did my stepmother (she's awful too).
Good thing you have enough courage to tell others about your scars and current limitations because of them and good thing that your dad is not the one holding a degree or more in psychology. Remember that people who are aware of their weaknesses can continue growing their entire lives while many people who believe in their pride that they already have it altogether enough to harshly judge others cannot
I literally started crying from the start until the end because I was a victim of abuse by a narcisstic parent and I am really struggling by all of these things the last several years after leaving the abusive habitat. :(( And your voice is very calming and nice, you were really good at this. Thank you for educating and supporting people.
2 years of no contacts. I have her blocked in every way. I just can't get it out of my head. I hate that it is still there . I don't want to waste any more of my time thinking about her or the abuse . It took me 14 years to realize I was never going to make her happy. Now I have to figure out how to make myself happy.
@@brianreed8271 I wish you the best of luck. I suggest you to get a professional help by a therapist who could help you to get on the track. Remember that none of it was ever your fault and you deserve to be treated kindly just like everybody else. 🥺🥺❤
I used to be in a relationship with a narcissist. He mentally abused me to the point I had a mental breakdown. I've been in and out of the mental hospital for 10 years and I'm still healing. I can relate to a lot of the points you mentioned in this video. To whomever is reading this just remember you are not alone, nothing stays the same and you will get better. Sending my love x
One in three one UA-cam thearapist said that's bad news U have to have been through it to get it sadly who the hell would want to get narcisstic abuse hell on earth especially where the flying monkeys are involved
They are still up to this bs even after new contact and in a new area sad and alarming it is if O wasn't medicated right now oh heck O don't wanna think about it
Had a "friend" whose behaviour correlates with many of these points. Been about a year or so since I cut ties with him, and I'm glad I did. I still feel like they've left some marks on me in the way I interact with other people, my bad anxiety or even my indecisiveness, but I'm working on it. I'm glad I found this channel. If you're stuck in the grip of a narcissist, get away from them as fast as you can. Whether they're your friend or your significant other, relationships with them are damaging and the effects can be long-lasting. You have the power to change anything, and just know you can do it :)
As the scapegoat of a narcissistic family, I was extremely traumatized by the time I left home. My life has been a shit show, but it is getting better with ongoing space between myself and those who abused me - and still would, given the opportunity.
Stay strong! I just let my mom go at 29. It is an uphill battle! You were an extension of the abuser's will most likely. So you will feel very bipolar about leaving them behind, but it gets better :)
I’m finding this all too true, now that I’ve left I’m processing the abuse and trauma I’ve lived with and I realize that it’s created such a deeply rooted sense is mistrust in those around me even tho the person I’m with WOULD NEVER do the things my parents have. Leaving my home (or being kicked out) was the best decision that ever happened to me
Been in the same situation for a while, tried avoiding any attachment to anyone but it still happened because it still hurt when people let me down. But being alone is often so painful too. How do you survive?
My mom always complained why I always run to my imagination & daydreams, neither of us realised that I was trying to escape from the pain that she insinuated as parental love
U most definitely gotta be a psychic or sumn she always dropping a video about something i have or went thru other therapists need to take notes and get on this level fr
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I wonder how many videos I will need to see that perfectly describe my situation before I will actually believe it’s happening and stop blaming myself.
As many as you want. Because each step counts. The fact that you are here, proves you have already taken the first step. Next is to talk to someone, friends family. It helps. Don't worry about they judging you, because many times it's all in your head.
@Friddo King I too thought like you and just ignored my gut, for about 20 years. A few months ago he tried to set the house on fire while I slept, so I would burn to death or die of smoke inhalation while I slept. Don't ever question your gut feeling like I did for 20 years. Your gut loves you and tries to protect you, but your brain and heart work hard at belittling your gut. Run while you can.
there's a saying: half of the time of the duration of the relationship , in my case after 12 years of abusive relationship it took 6 years of therapie & healing time AFTER getting out of it!!
Same. I think it’s because we were blaming ourselves our whole relationship. I can’t believe I used to problem solve things and blame myself for the issues with everything
This is part of what led me to addiction. To anyone struggling with abuse and this syndrome who might be escaping these feelings of self doubt or hypervigilance by using drugs or alcohol, know that recovery is possible. I respect you for reaching this part of your life -- you've made it this far, and you can survive and thrive with support and guidance!
Needed this. Tbh pretty confused as I’m realizing I Have been involved in multiple Narcissistic relationships be a family or romantic and I’m connecting all the dots on where my addiction started the trauma is what triggers everything why I act the way I act and why my fears of the way they are. Anyway I’m sitting here struggling telling myself this will be the last hit and actually hoping that it will be, once again. Just to make it till tomorrow not blame myself for things people did to me Edit: voice to text corrections made
I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
@@Withthia I understand your point, and I don't believe that every single narcissist is an evil person. Especially if you take the steps to realize it and someone helps you make changes to be better. I applaud you for recognizing that and making an effort. Once again, I understand where you're coming from. I never thought of her as evil, but misled by another toxic friend of hers down the line. My particular situation is my own personal experience, and I know what went down to lead to that ghosting. There was much more to it that happened prior, but it was after everything was resolved and I thought our friendship was secure, that she suddenly did it out of the blue. I did confront her on it on the one source she didn't ghost me on, but she simply left me on read. So there's never been closure, other than just accepting it and moving onward with my life. But I guess thanks to that, I found my true friends and we're happier than ever. Sometimes it's just not meant to be with other people. And that's okay.
I always thought narcissism was just someone extremely vain and overly focused on appearance. Until I realized my wife of 21 years was incredibly toxic and narcissistic. Its probably the worst feeling in the world when you realize that the person who is supposed to be your partner, spouse, confidant, lover, etc has been lying to you the entire time. It feels soul crushing
@@abbeydawes5786 it gets easier I promise, not for a while though. I'm free going on 4 years and still have issues blaming myself, feeling not good enough, etc not as often thankfully
@Leeroy Jenkins Yes and no. She was in a relationship with a narc. Narcs scope out people who have strength! They plan from day one to break that person so they will feel stronger. Is this your first video on this topic?
@Leeroy Jenkins I agree. She picked him, but what I meant was she chose him because of her background. I understand what you mean. If you went to a restaurant for dinner and you prefer steak over seafood.....you will order steak. Ok, so we chose the wrong man. Trust me ... we remember the one that was good to us when we realize our mistake and think of that person often. ♥️
I honestly cried watching this video. I’m experiencing this with my parents, for years it felt like i was never going to find an answer or some type of clue that i could discuss with a therapist. This video is literally explaining my whole entire life. Now as an adult, i have multiple mental health issues to the point, i can’t even function on some days. Thank you for making these videos, they honestly give me the hope and courage i need. You guys are just beyond amazing💕
Feel proud that you are strong enough to see the problem so now you can focus on healing and loving yourself first...I have been through it, you can do it too
1: you felt like you had the perfect relationship in the beginning 2: you feel like you are walking on eggshells 3: you may have experience severe campaigns 4: you feel isolated and vulnerable (hovering) 5: you develop a pervasive sense of mistrust 6: you may engage in self sabotage and self destructive behavior 7: unexplained physical symptoms 8: you may have issues setting boundaries 9: you may question your own self identity 10: you may find it hard to make decisions
I identified with all the symptoms, but I am fully aware of all of them and am healing. I pray for all my brothers and sisters who have endured this abuse and want you to know that you are enough, you are brave and smart and creative! Your abuser was jealous of you! Be proud of who you are and go forth in peace to find true love and joy!
I always notice that I dissociate whenever my father is around. He's definitely a narcissistic parent. I think me and my siblings all have some kinda problem/might be mentally troubled because of how he treats us and how he shows us how he treats other people. He always show up as a good and decent person whenever he face other people but when it comes to us. Nahhhh.
they're like that. I tell other people that i don't talk to my mom and they think i'm some ungrateful person. I always get "But she's your mother." Because people just don't understand. Even when they meet her, they'll think i'm lying or something. It's only if they're around long enough to see her true colors that they'll finally understand. The last guy i seriously dated hates her. We dated for years, and he got to know her well enough to see, and now he can't stand her. But other people who meet her, or don't know her that well, she's got them all fooled into thinking she's so damn nice, and then i look like the crazy one. I guess my point is, I believe you. You're not eh crazy one. Those other people just don't know the truth
Childhood is a period of your life, not your whole life. When you get out and can manage to help yourself, you'll be every bit the survivor and the winner you deserve to be.
@@renanbo6562 You jumping to conclusions and calling them abusive because they don't give you everything you want says a lot more about yourself than them, just saying.
@@jamesboorman9826 I'm looking at an open-minded approach of this instead of enabling them. For all we know they could be a covert narcissist themselves. Narcissism can be genetic for a reason. I am not speaking with certainties unlike many people here, which certainties are literally just the result of being biased, not being truthful. And young teens call their parents abusive all the time over little everyday normal things. Until we've got actual proof that they were abusive through the symptoms they express (anything related to narc abuse not mentioned on this video, or they can just fake it easily), instead of the classic "my parents are abusive narcissists because they don't let me [insert bad behaviour]". That's deflecting on their end. Enabling is not empathetic.
yup, same. And the thought process continues: I must be exaggerating, I probably don't remember well... What if I treated this person in this same way? Oh no, what if this is how this person thinks I treat them? Am I a narcissist?? ..... (edit: typos)
WOW I wish I found this video sooner... A year ago I was struggling so bad with these symptoms it drove me crazy. Post-abuse isolation is real and it's important that you acknowledge your worth above other's views of you.
Went from having narcissistic parents to being on a 5 year abusive relationship with another narcissist. I finally just got out less than a year ago. He stalks me, harasses me, etc even after all this time. I’m still trying to heal from it all and I’m working on finding myself, but I feel every single symptom that was listed. Cried from the beginning to the end. Thank you for this video.
Same except I'm still in the relationship & it's going on 8 years. Idk what to do 😩 I keep feeling like he's changing but, I can't tell if he really is or I've just been here so long that I'm making myself believe that he is
@@GjenevaGjeneva Unfortunately, the second option is most likely whats happening. I’ve learned they really don’t change. Especially after 8 years. It’s just been so long you feel like if you leave now, it was just a waste of time and energy. And then you put a bunch of “what ifs” in your head and it makes you stay longer.
THIS IS my life right now. Got away from a narcissistic mother only to end up in a 5-year relationship with a narcissist. My 100th time researching narcissist and reminding my trauma bonded brain that he is no good. Each time I fall back to his love bombing only for the cycle to repeat itself.
@@danielle.isabella I needed to read your comments because those are my thoughts exactly after 5 years and me getting into my early thirties, I do not want the rest of my life wasted.
@@GjenevaGjeneva on a particular bad day I realised this was never going to change. Left the next day and never looked back. Life became a lot better after that. Hope you're finding yourself well ✌️
Yeah, My dad, my mom, at a young age taught me that love is something you get when you deserve it. Never content unless I did only good things and sheltered me when I did wrong. They’ve left me mentally vulnerable and I feel as if everyone is out to harm me. In relationships I try way too much to make sure the other loves me which leaves both exhausted and overwhelmed. I try my hardest to ignore the boundaries of reassurance but it’s hard when I hardly trust myself, so broken, so damaged from a past that wasn’t even my fault.
If you've had expectations set really high for you by a narcissistic. Remember that expectations are just pre meditated resentments. Edit: thanks for the likes.
He told me that I would do until something better came along. The things narcs say, and believe. It blows my mind. It was 30 years ago and I still remember that, glad it's over.
@@yeseniatecaxco7545 it wasn't me who put it that way. It was my mom who rescued me from my narcissistic mother. She always says "baby girl. Expectations are just pre meditated resentments"
Thats awesome for you, i havent read too many people that dont stay marred or together that long good for you for getting out you 😊 Same here 20 years on and off. I'm free finally slowly working on myself self-love and self healing and reading, and watching these videos and tic tok videos and learning more of what to ignore from The Narcissist abusers. Learning how to take myself back ❤
After four years of narcissistic abuse, I finally got a divorce from my abuser, and I ran into them at Walmart the other day. I handled it very well, and am realizing now that they do not have any control on me now. I’m finally finding myself again.
I'm an introvert and an empath. I've been living with "family" for the past 4 months now. This house is full of extroverts and narcissists. There is not a single introvert. These 4 months have changed me in so many ways. I laugh less, smile less, feel more lonely, I'm feel more exhausted, stressed and the list goes on. Can't wait to get out of here.
God yes. I do feel for you and hope you found a way out. Being an introvert and just by simply being around extroverts will definitely make you feel drained.
When you mentioned the silent treatment as a form of abuse i knew this was for me. My abuser would DEMAND silence (like weeks of zero contact) over the smallest inconvenience on their part (let me tell you about the final straw with them). And when they finally would speak to me, they wouldn’t address the issue or have a healthy conversation about the thing that led to the silent treatment. Just be like yeah we’re cool and then be fine until the next thing i did wrong. It was always something different. I made sooo much of an effort to give them what they wanted but that was never good enough and the cycle would repeat itself. They also accused me on multiple occasions that I was gaslighting them that by the time i realized what gaslighting was, i became very aware that it was them gaslighting me and gaslighting me by accusing me of doing it to them.
Yes. If you don’t take yourself out of that abuse the cycle just continues. I lived on that roller coaster for two-and-half years. Been no contact now for nine months. Everyday is still a struggle but I keep trying to move forward and not back. Hang in there!
The silent treatment was so fucking painful. They knew exactly how much it hurt us and they loved it, and they knew that we’d forgive them as soon as they decided they were no longer mad at us :(
My mother would do this to me as a child. The silent treatment until I would apologize and begged for affection even though it wasn’t my fault. She has been dead for over 20 years now but I still feel like a frightened little child and I still miss her. She used to make all the decisions for me. As a result, I’m a very indecisive adult and have very low self esteem and I’m a people pleaser.
I feel like my friend (who I'll call Burrito) might have this... They dates a girl that I'll call her... Janine. Janine was nice at first, and even I got along with her. But she started acting really suspicious, and if I remember clearly, she cheated on Burrito. So they broke up. Janine agreed to stay friends with us. But that didn't last for long. She started spreading rumours and turning Burritos friends against them. We were obviously really pissed. Janine started doing all of these really manipulative things... I think I might send this video to my friend and see how they feel. Because I feel like all of these apply to them. Burrito if you see this comment, just know I love you okay? You're very strong and I believe in you. ❤️
It's so sad how easily we can propagate trauma and abuse before we are even capable of knowing what we're doing. I could see as a child my parents' sincerity, hypocrisy and cruelty side by side, and it terrified me. That fear has not failed to run my life since, in spite of all my efforts. I relate to every single point. Great video as always 💫
That’s why I’m so heartbroken now and I’m 25… I never felt right as a child, and now I’m learning why, and then I get memories of things that happened and I can relate it to the new terminology or situations I’ve heard that happen, and it hurts so much knowing what was happening. And that it is still happening :(
I won't mention who in my life, but I really relate to this... I've developed a depression within 16 years an I'm finally getting help, it's not easy to leave this lifestyle, but what matters is to take the first step... Sometimes your first step migth not be succesfull, you might feel that things got worse, but do remember that it was a first step and NOT YOUR LAST. My therapist is doing wonders with my internal self, I'm learning to love myself and grow, I know there is a lot going forward to work with, but I'm happy to say that taking that first step, did wonders
@@Aamy444 I'm the first born of 3, though we were suppose to be four... The first sibling didn't make it and that made me become the eldest son, with a brother and a little sister. I was born in hard times, the kind that made my parents go through a lot and at an early age I started having responsibilities, I can't remember them giving me anything specific back then, it just came naturally to me that I needed to take care of my brother back then, I was 8. I was the type of observer that learned just by seeing, even at that age, so there where things I learned and comprehended even though I was to little to understand everything around me. I remember that ever since I was at that age things kept getting worse, from all sides, especially out of our home, but unfortunately those hard times set the tone Indoors... I had to live with my head down because of several (if not all in some shape or form) the situations mentioned on the video, and now, as a 25 year old, I don't see myself as an adult, but a teen... Living on this scenario made me feel like I never had my childhood properly, my teenage years went by to fast and for years I've been feeling horrible to the point of desiring death, I felt trapped and constantly suffering since I'm the type that blows up on the inside to not cause harm to anyone around me... I've had attempts, but thankfully at the moment of truth I never had it in me to end myself. Things have gotten worse when I tried to open up and ask for help, several times actually, which sadly also affected emotionally my girlfriend as well, adding to the things she has to deal on her own side of the story as well. I asked a friend, my best friend for years before I met my GF, if she knew anyone to recommend for help where I live, she's not from here but knows well, and through her I found my therapist. I'm finally learning to cope with everything I had to endure for the last 16 years and learning to let myself grow, to believe in myself and to not be imprisoned, by my own feelings or by the narcism that sadly has been strong in my life. I care deeply about this person and I can say that I love this person, but I do recognize that I need a drastic change if I want happiness, starting from myself on the inside, and taking slow but calculated steps on the outside. I can feel it, right in my grasp, almost at reaching distance... And that's the hope I needed
@@victorribeiro6772 very understandable and gald you was able to realize your trauma (you will get through it), I took a step back from my partner in order for me to heal and will hope he can heal himself as well 🙏🏾
I am a male and this actually opened my eyes to the fact that I have been, in the past in a narcissistic abusive relationship towards me. I did not realize it until listening to this podcast. My lady friend at the time would give me silent treatments over perhaps something I said even though it wasn’t mean or nasty I had to watch what I say and she would give me a silent treatment for days if not a week or more. She would also twist my words of things I said. One day and she was giving me the silent treatment I told her when she’s done playing games let me know and we’ll talk. She never did that to me again. I always felt that I was walking on eggshells and I had to watch what I said around her because she would twist it or go off in a rage. She kept wanting me to sell my house and move to another state and I told her that I was not willing to do that and I told her that I was tired of her pushing me to do things that I did not want to do. That angered her and she moved out of our bedroom into another room and she played the silent game again walking around me and not saying a word for over a week until she got over it. We are no longer in a relationship.
@@baba440 check out dads surviving divorce channel too…..Duane had same….3 kids, covert narc wife….he took the plunge several yrs ago & now helps others….he has camping channel too showing the joys of living true to yourself 💙
Yes! It is like walking on eggshells around your abuser but it lasts inside you and in other relationships to be hypervigilant and rejecting of others too who you become mad at.. Thank you soooo much for your super-empathic voice and information. I feel like you side with me as the "original" and real victim in this situation. You even include the conditioning idea which really grounds me in the truth of what is going on, when I see that "training" has happened over time and that is why it is soooo hard to SEE!!! ... and it is also scary to see the unsafety of it all.
Don't allow the narcissist to take up space in your mind, block them out, in time they should be forgotten. Find as many Empaths to share your life with. Only keep good and loving memories in your heart ❤️ I'm selling my property and I'm moving away from my dangerous narcissistic neighbor, my quality of life is more important than this evil neighbor.
"When you get too lost by the pain, you confuse what is right and wrong anymore, thus making your actions go unnoticed while you focus on being the victim"
My mother's biggest flag that I see so clearly now is how she throws a pity party for herself almost every time I or my other family members/friends try to talk about our own painful experiences/traumas. It's always a competition and it's so exhausting.
This is what I’m seeing with my sister right now. It’s not a safe feeling at all. She refuses to have any vulnerable conversation unless is talking mad shit about our parents. She has no issue critiquing them but when I try to talk to her about some things I’d like support healing in regards to our past circumstances it turns into “I was abused harder and longer than you ever were, don’t make me the bad guy” when all I wanted was to talk about my feelings with her. She just graduated with her masters degree in social work and she acts like I’m attacking her. I have nothing because of her and she still acts like she’s the victim
I feel you too, we're both in the same path. The only difference is, that my mom is super loving until my dad destroys everything. He persistently puts the blame to her for his failures although it was his fault in the first place, I've felt really sad that things doesn't turn out well especially since pandemic. Now, we're really struggling a lot in these crisis. I hope one day we'll be able to fix this relationship even though it seems impossible as it already is.
Literally when I opened up about CSA to a narcissist, they said, "I experienced that, too, but I'M past all of that now and don't let it rule my life." They further went on to insinuate that's just a woman's lot in life. Ooooookay....thanks for the one-upping and guilt trip, I'd like off this ride now. 🙃
I’ve been diagnosed with this. This video hit me right in the feels, because it’s exactly everything I’m suffering from. It made me feel heard and like I’m not delusional
I related to most of them, I’ve just recently gotten out of a 3 year relationship with a narcissist, and my whole identity has changed. Friends and family tell me I’ve matured a lot, but I really think it’s just my fear to be myself around anyone is becoming greater. But now that I’m aware of what’s wrong with me, I can work to fix myself. Healing takes time. Thank you guys for making content like this, I’m sure a lot of us need it.
*“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”* ―Dale Carnegie Love from a small channel💙
When I tried to set boundaries growing up, I wish my mother would have given me the silent treatment rather than the verbal beatings she would give me.
I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
Trust me.... *Silent treatment are DEADLY!!!💀 Humans always somehow are Resilient and come around when beaten, but those deadly silent treatments are deafening, daunting, eerie, long suffering, tormenting and emotionally painful....* 😣
This is your sign to leave!!!!! Dealing with a narc is like a road leading no where. The longer you stay the more you lose yourself, and after you leave make sure you start your healing process asap. The longer you prolong, and mask how you feel the more painful the healing process will be. Be patient, and gentle with yourself ❤️
Im going be conservative here and say im a narcissist but like a 1-2(because im human),my coworker is a narcissist like a 9 on a scale.he uses roids,hes a liar,a manipulator,he only wants to work when it makes him look good,he has applied for boss 3 times everytime to get rejected,how can i keep my sanity.i try to have normal conversation with him,but he is a manipulative person who will use words to get his way.he will say something then say im just kinding,so i try to keep cool and say well u said u wanted to do this so go do it,he says i didnt say that i say thats the words you said so do what ya are asking here derek.hes difficult very difficult.one day hes wide open ready to do something next day hes the biggest procrastinator in the world,
My name is also Amanda. I was raised by a narcissistic mother. I'm starting my own small art business and this really hit home because I've been holding myself back from making my dream a reality and couldn't figure out why. This really connected some dots for me. Thank you so much, from the Bottom of my Heart. ^_^
Same here. It is a weird thing to not understand what is keeping you from pursuing your passions. It’s like having a magnificent race horse inside that is chained up but constantly trying to break free. We just have to keep picking those locks and breaking through those barriers of criticism and self-doubt programmed into us by narcissistic parents. Good luck with your business Amanda!
I definitely feeling like I’m stuck in a healing trauma loop. I am definitely really happy to be free now. I see all the abuse I endured and it’s hard to believe how it happened. But sometimes I feel like I can’t get beyond the treatment, it was so life-altering and feeling like so few around me really understand is futher isolating. Not to mention the trigger of all that still support a person so evil after you reach out for help. It’s further invalidating and makes you feel worthless as a human that people don’t care enough to help.
i feel like i can relate to this in some way. in other people’s eyes i seem to be clear minded and like i know better than to stay (since im always sad about my family problems) but my survival tactics had me stuck on a loop where i didn’t even know i was literally numb! for years! it would come in waves too, i’d be doing good taking care of myself for some weeks or months and then my anxiety around others will build up till i break down again and after so many times i feel like people believe i’m making excuses for myself and now believe IM the problem. which is now my learned subconscious thought/fear 😞
Healing trauma loop... Thank you for putting this into words. I am in this loop for almost four years since I've broken up with my abuser. Few months back I learned from a common friend that he's in a new relationship and how he's doing terrible things to his new partner. And this person tells me further that she likes it that way... Who likes to be abused? No one. I don't get people who just stand by and watch their close ones drown. I am so creeped out by this news, just by thinking that it could have been me still in that situation....
I realized last winter that I am a victim of narcissistic behavior from my family. I’ve watched so many of your videos. This page has helped me identify and label my mental health issues and related health problems. I never thought that they were related. I’m slowly healing and it’s been hard, but I’m happy i am trying to better myself. Thank you so much.
I have NPD, and I used to be an extreme emotional manipulator in 2020, untill I was groomed and abused myself and finally found out that who I was was awful. I'm happy to say I'm getting better as a person, and I love this video, I wish I had seen it when I was younger. It would've respected and loved people around me so much more😔
Borderline with narc traits here - thank you for doing the work. It’s a sad truth that you’re probably going to get hateful responses because pwNPD are so harshly demonized and stigmatized, but NPD is a trauma disorder, usually onset by abuse from a cluster B parent, just like the other cluster B disorders. Cluster Bs are usually products of other cluster Bs I’ve noticed. You’re doing amazing and the fact you want to be better shows you are a good person at heart, no matter the survival skills you picked up through your trauma. Keep doing the work and you’re golden. Sending you sm love, strength, and success in your recovery from NPD ❤
7 out of 10 points true for me. I recently separated from my verbally, emotionally, physically abusive narcissistic (just realised from this video) husband. I had the support of immediate family and friends. May every person out there find support in some form too.
I cried watching this. I am a psychology student and sometimes I think I have learned enough to actually see patterns in my own behavior and how it‘s connected to my childhood. Then I am blown away again by how much my dad affected the way I believe others to perceive me, their intentions, whether they actually want me to be with them and also how I see myself. I can be so, so hard on myself and sometimes, I don‘t even realise it because it‘s all I ever known and think to be normal ever since being a child. Thank you for providing information that can help us heal from past wounds we maybe didn‘t even know were there.
I've recently discovered that my dad was a narsasaist and just how much that has impacted my life. For me, his passing away almost 4 years ago has been a tremendous freedom in my life. Four of these "symptoms" fit me right off. Thank you for the information and the encouragement you let your channel show.
AAK.... this is too much truth. Even knowing that I have had several narcissists in my family and in past relationships, it's still a punch in the heart to hear how this can play out and what long term effects can happen. I think a lot of people who have narcissistic parents or siblings end up in relationships with narcissists because it's familiar and they may not even realize what is happening. I was certainly programmed as a child to support a narcissist and ended up doing so.... that relationship almost destroyed me. it took a lot of work and therapy to work through the long term effects.... I'm still working on them many years later. Thanks for making this video, it was a great reminder of all the ways I'm stronger now and how much healthier my relationships are. And a good reminder that when I struggle with people, it's probably because of past experiences and to be gentle and kind to myself.
I definitely suffer from this. It's a daily struggle. Just getting out of bed, eating, self care became a struggle. I have thought I didn't even deserve food. I'm getting better everyday, but still hypervigilant. Thank God for being with me to help me thru it. ❤🙏
This channel has helped me TREMENDOUSLY!!!!! I don't know what I'd do without it. God bless all of your team who work hard and compassionately to help others.
All I can say is that; these videos weren't around back in the day 1981-1982. When I first encounter a relationship with a narcissist I had no clue/knowledge about NPD , and I was very young 16 -17 years old, that relationship last one year, I had no support from my family they would team up with the narc boyfriend against me, I prayed for away out, God heard my cry and freed me from that toxic hell (thank you Jesus), and thank you for sharing your videos they're educational and informative.
My dad’s a narcissist I have a lot of commonalities with him, and quite frankly I really wish I wasn’t one as well. I’ve been refusing it for so long but my dad took a huge toll on my life and I don’t want to do all he did to me to my future children. But now having watched the video and realize I relate to all of these, I see that yes, I have narcissistic victims syndromes, and I’m pissed off about it.
@Oliver Erz Thank you for this mate, thank you. I don’t often receive words of encouragement and hearing them even from a stranger mean a lot. I’m sorry you had to through that with your friend :( They’re clearly missing out cause you seem great, I’m happy you were able to move on and be happier without them
My dad too. I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
You may have traits but I can already tell you are no narcissist, my friend. In my experience, the TOP signs is they have ZERO empathy, take no accountability, and they always have a mountain of excuses ready. They think they're "the best" and literally can't/refuse to acknowledge their faults. Keep working on yourself and you will see it through!
She described my parents exactly, and how I feel about them. It’s makes me feel like at least I’m not the only one and it’s gives me an explanation about my behavior and the way I am. Thank you so much for those amazing videos.
This used to be me for my entire childhood, teens, adulthood and even into becoming a parent myself. There IS a light at the end of the dark road though! I went no contact with that family over 3 years ago, got in contact with some wonderful NARC (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Counselors/Coaches) and finally was able to heal. There will always be little things like a shadow in the back of your mind that questions if you can do something or not; if your best effort will be good enough... but it gets easier as that shadow becomes quieter. I often now hear one of my support network telling me, "HOLD MY BEER!" Silly, yea but it makes me laugh and pulls me away from the past to fight for what I want to accomplish in the here & now. "The only person that's always been there for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week since the day you were born is YOU." Break free for yourself; do it for you to show yourself you're worth every bit of it. Hugs to you all!!!
I relate to ALL of them!!! because she was a malignant Narc. I truly feel for all the victims that have gone through Nacisistic abuse of Any kind! It is truly the most difficult thing that a human being could go through.
Watching these make me so glad that I could come in like a wrecking ball into my wife's life. My mother-in-law is most definitely a narcissist. And until I came crashing in unabashedly, my wife was a victim of her mother's abuse. I don't put up with narcissists and have been helping my wife with recognizing, ignoring, and overcoming her mother's abuse. My wife still struggles with a lot of these signs. So learning from your videos is a great help!
I am not a pro so I cannot say professionally that my mother is a narcissist but I think she displays a lot of the signs. I didnt know about these things until my partner made me aware of it. I am 29 years old now. I have been with my partner for over 6 years. It is nice to hear that you are helping your partner just like my gf is helping me but please be patient with yours as she might not have even been aware of it. When I was younger I didnt know at all, I just knew that something was wrong and I would confirm this by sleeping over at friends houses every weekend to get away from home and I would see how different all my friends parents were with my friends. I have tried numerous times to discuss these points with my mother but everytime she will brush it off and say something along the lines of 'oh youre holding onto the past', 'just let it go' and the very manipulative 'you know that im not gonna be alive forever so you should move on with this' I have since cut ties with my mom. It was the hardest thing to do and I still think about it today but it was the only option for me to heal properly. I still wish my mom the best, I just want her to not be part of my life.
My mom used the be worst when i was younger. I'm not the type of child that would shut up if i got mistreated. As i grow up her argument become more unclear and weaker, she always tries to change the topic to edge me and make me feel I'm the worst but since i started standing up for myself (literally using logical argument) she stopped since last year and changing slowly. I thought I'm the only one noticing but my sister too.
Just keep in mind that wanting to have control over her is sort of a flipside of what she's doing, just that you're her kid, so it can't be excused as normal as kids are not supposed to have control over their parents, at all. You see her as weak and see yourself as strong, I don't know what exactly to say to that, but whether or not you're a narc yourself is confusing, but you definitely haven't been hurt by one because victims develop a dependence and warped love for them, not hate. ...Also that it may be genetic.
I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
@@bunille no why would i?? I just wanted her hug and smile. She never hugs me when I'm awake. Now she even drag my feet and i hug her everyday. Which she was refusing for the past years. I just wished we were like this since the beginning. Haha not related at all but if I'm gonna talk about something related is that she actually listens to me. Before she gonna use the information to guilt trip me. And no it's not i see her as weak. Read my paragraph again. It's her argument.
Same here. But now im just tried of her immature arguments. I dont talk with her anymore. Im just really tired and want to get of this family. So i just keep quiet and receive all the pain no matter how it makes me suicidal.
8:12 Hey Amanda, I also related to these points. I have had to deal with a father who is a bully, gaslighter and a hard core narcissist. Just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing. I almost cried when you said "once you know you can grow", it helped me feel little better. Thanks for sharing, thanks for the voice overs and everything you do in your channel! Remember you are not alone.We,your subs and fellow Psych2goers love you 💜🤗. I hope you are doing well ☺️ Much love, Varun
#7 is so true for me. My health overall has improved. Lost weigh, blood pressure and glucose significantly improved. But a “smaller” health improvement I almost didn’t realize is my allergies haven’t bothered me since I’ve been away from him as strange as that may sound. When I was around him I would go through SO many bottles and packets of allergy pills. But I have rarely needed an allergy pill since I’ve been gone. I’m just not having allergy flare ups left and right like I was before. I can’t help but laugh. I guess I was allergic to him.
I've never called my ex a narcissist, but he definitively had most of the traits. I realize now that I've had all 10 signs told in this video, it's crazy. I'm just so glad I got away from him 5 years ago. And I definitively have trouble trusting again
Trust yourself look for things that make you happy and focus on that trust your instincts trust that you are aware of the trust that you count, you are alive, your thoughts your realities your perceptions are real. embrace that, know when you’re true to yourself by focusing on that what you truly desire, everything falls into place.
It took me 7 years to almost be over it. I started to disassociate 4 years after I walked away. And somehow on the 7 years I couldn't understand what was happening to me, regression in speech, extreme memory loss, seeing things, and so on. I got so scared one night, I think it made me snapped out of it. Although Im still fragile. I'm here to listen if someone needs to vent or talk.
I hope you heal from this awful experience and we are also here for you. In my experience with a narc, after being with this person for almost a year and a half, I think I just gradually detached myself to him cause before that detachment, i was really torn on leaving him officially because i felt like i was so dependent on him but he was also never there to emotionally support me when I needed it. so right after all of his mistreatments like cheating on me, thats when I realized I needed to escape that relationship slowly but also officialy. because the earlier times I tried to break off with this person, he was constantly gaslighting me and threatening me to not leave him which was so tormenting to deal with cause I knew I was not happy about it.
I’m suffering from this. The last part made me cry, because I suffer from a range of mental illness that make me vulnerable to this kind of abuse. These videos also inspired me to study to become a psychologist, so I can further understand my own mental health conditions so I can help others like me! Thank you so much for your videos! They’re truely helpful!
Same here always wanted to be in the mental health industry because so many people just wanna feel like someone cares out there and i want to be that person. Good luck in your psychology journey!
This video really hit the bullseye- I was in an abusive friend group with multiple narcissists in it and was friends with them for 3-5 years. They would often invalidate my experiences/feelings, hide things from me, and manipulate other friends and family that I was in the wrong. They still do it. I can’t even get away from them since I go to a small school and they participate in most of the activities I’m in. I even feel like I’ve picked up some of their bad habits and unintentionally hurt other people using their tactics, which makes me feel awful. I wish nobody has to experience these things. Because of a few manipulative people, I will struggle to make meaningful relationships for the rest of my life. Stay safe out there-
It’s hard for people to understand how a relationship, a person, can literally affect your whole lives thinking. It’s been 6 years that I left my malignant narcissistic partner and I still suffer from PTSD.
Been 4.5 years for me after departing a 18.75 year marriage. I am finally starting to regain who I was before the marriage. Still enduring the smear campaign, the isolation, and trying to trust again... slowly but surely. Be strong!
The end made me cry, I have a narcissistic parent and have been really going through it lately but this video made me feel a little bit better. Thank you for the video you guys make great content
I still struggle with this after my break up almost 2 years ago. It hurts... A lot. Heart races sometimes when I think back to the belittlement, the yelling, her lackadaisical attitude towards it all. I'm still struggling with a lot of these. I felt like I was just being dramatic and felt like I was the one that was wrong. I sat and listened and endured. I brushed off a lot of her shit and I was just like "it's okay, she had a hard life, she'll get better, she'll change"... It was hidden under the surface till it was time and she got everything she wanted out of me after 10 years. This syndrome is definitely real, but with the right support, you can over come it and heal from it. You won't be perfect, but you'll get better each day or each week.
Yes, I've experienced 9 of the 10 signs during my 32 years- I thought the problem was alcoholism, but it was, but much worse. Finally leaving to restart my life after 32 years
Being in a narcissistic relationship is a lot more than it seems. It happens and you won’t even realize it. Here’s what happened to me: Apparently, I didn’t even realize how much my partner manipulated me. I felt like shit and felt like I’m the one that’s not understanding, toxic and manipulating. Its like I felt only that person in the world will want me because I’m so bad. That led me to submit to them. I completely ignored myself and became what pleased them. My mental health was getting worse. And somehow they made me feel that they were helping me go through tough times, when they were the reason my state got worse. I broke down in front of them one day. And then I realized that it’s all just a lie. They called me stupid for being so weak and completely shut me off. Ignoring me for days, and asking for an apology for being a weak worthless piece of shit. They didn’t give a shit about me, just wanted me to submit to them, and that made me question what I was doing. Fortunately, I gathered up all my courage and decided to leave. They shed tears and told me that they didn’t mean it. It was hard, I almost submitted, but I didn’t stay. Then, they got mad at me and said that I won’t find anyone as good as them and no one will want to be with me. I’m glad I left. That relationship gave me trauma and I adapted self-harming behaviors. I wasted 2 years of my life with a narcissist and didn’t even realize it. It’s very important to love yourself. Never choose others before you. You matter the most and don’t ever leave yourself for someone else. A healthy relationship is where we find ourselves and learn to love. It’s not submission and self ignorance. You’re precious and important.
So glad you're free of all the madness! Don't look back, just keep moving forward. That person who mistreated you was unworthy of you and all the love you have to give. Take good care of yourself.
I almost cried because it is very similar to what I am going through. I just don't have the courage to leave because I feel constantly exhausted & I have no one I can trust. I feel so stupid that I haven't seen this sooner, I also broke down infront of my parents and they didn't even blinked an eye. I feel so hopeless I sometimes self harm because I can't stand all of this. Glad that you made it out tho
LOL this is prime narcissism right here. You're lucky that you only had to go through one 2-year relationship, I've been in too many relationships because I lacked self-love and they took advantage of that many times. As long as you don't continue that cycle (which it might be difficult, especially if that happened at a young age), healing should come smoothly. :)
@@vari4097 that's very difficult to tackle and it's alright to feel tired. We're not always strong, especially when something is constantly eating up our strength. It feels like a bucket with holes, no matter how much you try fill it, everything just slowly spills out. I hope you get outta this asap. Takes time but I believe you can do this! You deserve so much happiness and I hope happiness finds you soon. Don't forget that you are the main character of your story and the universe is with you. Take care and stay strong
« In you taking the time to learn about narcissistic victim syndrome, you’re empowering yourself. Once you know, you can grow. » Gosh ! You hit me on that one. 😭😭😭😭😭 I need to write this down and will read it every day. Thank you ! 🙏
My heart sank while watching this. I relate to all of this. I'm with a narcissistic abuser that leaves me traumatized that it's difficult for me to even reach out for help. I couldn't be my true self around him so I had to be whoever he wanted me to be and lost myself in the process. I cannot tell him that he's doing wrong because he'll put the blame on me, abuse me and make it worse.
@@aliciaorquin7144 leave sweetheart it’s gonna get worst if you don’t leave that’s is not love. Controling behaviors is not LOVE. That’s not a healthy relationship if your partner puts you down. He suppyto support you not make you feel bad about your self. LEAVE OR YOU GONNA JEEP GOING THRU TH SAME THINGS THE LONGER YOU STAY. And he not gonna change no matter how hard you try help or hold out hope for him to change.
Word of advice do not say you are leaving or act like you are upset by their manipulations, pretend youre still hooked and leave quietly and get support ahead of time before
Don't give up hope, because I know this is overwhelming at first realizing all this. You have already taken the first steps and there is great self love and power in that! I hope since you have commented, that you have set up new boundaries and distance from this person. Things will get better if they have not already for you, be strong and find your own inner resilience! It will happen with time, even if it hurts for a while. I found meditation, music, art, and self reflection really helped me a whole lot. Write the thoughts out if you want, they can make you feel what you need to!
Monique, I know you wrote this comment a year ago but I want to check in and make sure you're okay. I hope you're safe now and away from the person who was abusing you. I was with someone who was like that too and my heart goes out to you. I really hope you're all right.
@Sebastian Thank you❤️ and I really do apologize that you have been put through that. I've left my partner a little over a year ago and I don't regret it. I needed a better life for me and my son and I didn't want him to think that the behaviors in that house are normal. I still do suffer from PTSD regularly, which I'm still working on. Unfortunately he still is very manipulative and believes that we are or still will be together and that's an issue. Thank you so much for checking in. I really do appreciate it
i had an abusive and alcoholic stepmother that left me with so much trauma and unstable mental state that i ended up seeking approval for another narcissistic abuser years later in my adulthood that took advantage of my vulnerability and r***ed me repeatedly. to put it lightly, this video helped verbalize a lot of the experiences i’ve felt growing up and now. and for anyone reading this today, we will heal.
I literally entered a narcissist relationship after getting out of my mom's narcissistic abuse ... And he would r*pe me also. He took my virginity (without consent) and then when we moved in together, almost every night he would r*pe me.
My ex husband went to extremes to convince me I was losing my mind. Shortly after our marriage I found out he had been sleeping with at least four of my (so called) friends. I informed him I was divorcing him. Firstly, he accused me of jealousy and paranoia. Ha! After determining He was found out he set about a gaslighting scheme. I must also add…We tried counseling but when that was a bust he got vicious. Told family and friends I was losing my mind. Told everyone I was seeing a therapist (our marriage counselor) because I was unbalanced. Hide things from me. Starting conversations with me and act like I was delusional when I countered in conversation, by saying we were never talking about that. He would sit next to me and whisper my name and when I responded he would fake concern while saying “you are hearing things again.” Another exampleI recently sold my car and saw someone driving it. I exclaimed “Hey look there is my old car!” He said, “You never owned that car. What is wrong with you?” There were so many things similar to this that he pulled but my all time favorite…he put his arm around me and whispered in my ear, “If you promise not to divorce me I will stop telling everyone you are crazy.” I was done done done with this freak. Shortly after filing for divorce I ran into his business partner in a very crowded gathering. His business partner loudly proclaimed, “I am so happy to hear you are getting mental health care.” Of course several people are now staring at me. I was shocked but quickly countered, “It’s too bad the people who truly are mentally ill don’t seek help.” He responded with, “I figured you would have a come back.” I never looked back in regret when I divorced that narcissistic mess. How ironic that a person who gaslights try’s to convince a victim they are losing their mind. Who is the really sick person in this scenario? Additionally, Here's a clue for anyone of you that think your spouse might be cheating, but you think they are just too clever to be caught, your feelings of being cheated on are not facts and your intuitions are bullshit unless you find out for sure. So before you bring your sickness and blame into the relationship get some fucking proof and some mental help consult a private investigator today Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose know where you stand in your relationship...
How's everyone Sunday going so far? Also, we decided to keep the last two videos up actually.
Good
good!
It's going great and 1st!
It’s been going good
I love your videos
I like those two shorts.
“When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but you stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.” - Jill Blakeway
Truer words never spoken…
@@pamelawilliams5061 God bless you P@mel@ Sincerely hope lifes treating you extremely kindly now 🌼🍀🙏
Too bad im surrounded by toxic assholes that are overly negative, judgemental and angry all the time
@@centripetal6157 God bless you 😔🍀🌼🙏You deserve much more & better Is there anyway of escping these types currently in your life @ moment 🍀🍀🌼🙏
Thank you Evelina.
I literally just overheard my narcissist cousin bad-mouth me to his mother... who he in turns badmouths about to ME.
Caring for a narcissist is the worst thing you can do to yourself, they will capitalise on that, emotionally exploit you and leave you feeling chronically stressed and miserable. And yes, I'm talking from experience.
Same here mamas... I didn't even know narcissism was a thing! (At the time)But I knew he was operating from a fcuked up place... Stay 💪🏾 and 👀
I'm stressed all the time. My narc accepts no responsibility so it's on me.
They would just twist words to no end even if it becomes utterly ridiculous and you actually wonder if they do not know what’s acceptable behavior. But the kicker is that they do, hence the public facade. All that word salad and pretending not to know what normal behavior is? Is them lying like a toddler trying to get away from facing the consequences and the shame of the shit they done. Except a toddler might actually have more insight of what they are doing, and narcissists are not in touch with themselves. And they are worse because they don’t care if you get hurt by their gaslighting. Bloody pathetic and evil. The only way to call out a narcissist is to say what you mean to say and ignore all the lying and gaslighting coming from them. Nuh-uh, you did it, nah that’s not acceptable, nah I’m not ‘overly dramatic or sensitive’ just being normal, nope I’m not gonna take it (and when they issue the ultimatum lol) okay buh-bye. Do not get caught up in their world of confusion, do not let them drag you into the mud with their personal attacks, never attempt to debate and always stay on topic. This is of course not the way to interact with normal people, just narcissistic individuals.
Agreed. Hate them twice as much as I loved em.
So true!
The worst thing about narcissists, in my opinion, is how they will NEVER stop blaming others for things, or stop completely running away from accountability. This video hit so close to home, it's heartbreaking 😢
The worst part to me, is how easily they can turn everything around and make themselves look like the victim and everyone else look like perpetrators. They can destroy a person's reputation while keeping their own intact. No matter how much the Truth teller cries out, shows evidence of their own innocence / the narcissist's guilt, videos, pictures, letters, eyewitness...none of it matters. Your character has already been assassinated, so therefore you will not be listened to.
I have effectively gone no contact with my entire family of origin for this reason. I don't miss a thing about it, either. It's nice going without constant derision, mockery, ridicule and dismissal.
@@Hawaiiansky11 bless your heart! That is is horrible, for sure. I'm so sorry you went through that. I'm very glad you got away from them, though!
So terrible isn’t it?!
@@dannikkaquinn9698 it is. The projection and gaslighting will drive a person crazy. Coupled with blame shifting and verbal/physical abuse, and that will break someone...
A NUT CASE...I HATE THE DAY I MET HIM.... HE'S A WASTE OF BREATH! He still says today that he's waiting for me to get MYSELF TOGETHER & let him come back.
1. 1:07 you felt like you had a perfect relationship
2. 2:03 you feel like you're walking on eggshells
3. 2:34 you may have experienced smear campaigns
4. 3:14 you feel isolated and vulnerable
5. 3:50 you've developed a pervasive sense of mistrust
6. 4:15 you may engage in self destructive behavior
7. 5:03 you may experience unexplained physical symptoms
8. 5:33 you may have issues setting boundaries
9. 6:24 you may be questioning your own identity
10. 7:15 you may find it hard to make decisions
edit: to everyone saying thanks, y'all are so sweet. i generally do this when noone has yet for myself but im happy it helps others as well :)
thank u :)
Thanks for Compiling This 🙏.
Thank you. I fit quite a few of these
Duck.. duck.. GOOSEBUMPS!
Dam. I'M IT.
As referenced,
Dr Vander Kolk, is a top Expert on Trauma and it's effects on the human body. 👏👏
One day I hope to meet him.
Thank you.
The rumination is the worst thing ever. I can't stop ruminating about previous/future interactions. The thoughts and overall feeling of apprehension about the next interaction keep piercing through like sharp knives.
It's absolutely humiliating to accept the fact that I allowed him to do it.
True
It puts you on edge every time you meet someone who could fill the same role in your life.
ua-cam.com/video/XaY5ST7mE7A/v-deo.html
True
I am a broken person. Recently I started seeing a professional about my childhood trauma and it's way worse than I ever imagined. If I had not had my son I may never have pursued the help I needed. With the birth of my son I started trying to change myself to be the best father I can for him. In doing so, I realized how hard my father was on me, to the point that I've had to cut him out of my life completely. It's terrifying realizing that all my anger was born through pain, abuse, and mental torture. Luckily I have a chance to grow to be the best man I can be, and be the father my son deserves. Please don't hide behind your anger, it will only leave you lonely and empty.
I recently saw a therapist too. He insist my parents aren't qnd that i should go back to them even though he hasn't met them. But im scared. I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
Your son is so, so lucky to have a father who cares enough to change to be a better person for him. Much success to you, friend 💐💛
your comment made me cry thank u for being so strong
@@soapez9527 thank you for your kind words but I am far from strong. Every day is a struggle. I hope you keeping trying to better yourself.
Good on you, you faced your battles and a good father to your Son, love people that own up to hardship and strive to be their best self, well done.
Whenever I have an emotional breakdown due to the heaviness of prolonged narcissistic treatment from my husband, everyone in my life looks at ME like I'm a freak! No one cares what brought me to that state. Thank you for the informational with a calm, empathetic voice.
Reactive abuse
This is what happened to me. An ex partner used gaslighting, other emotional and physical abuse when I fought back. Had 12yrs of it and it destroyed me. I trust no one completely anymore
Edit: I was putting a couple of spelling mistakes to right and I accidentally deleted some of the info in this post. I’m in a bit of a mind block at the moment and I can’t remember it, sorry
@MykeWinters I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope you find some peace and happiness in your life. I know now for myself, and I hope you know as well, that you deserve to be loved and that person that hurt you, was wrong in so many ways. Best wishes.
@LM-ql4zh I hope you can find peace in your life soon. No one deserves to be abused. Seek help, if possible, even if you have to open up to your doctor, a teacher, a friend, anyone. Be safe, and best wishes.
@@lonelywriter88 that’s a very nice thing to say, thank you so much for taking the time to say it to me. Some people can be be evil and look like angels to others. She had a nice side, usually because I gave in to her so I didn’t get a confrontation. God there’s so much that happened and is still happening in my life with family and friends. Currently have a therapist and keyworker. Despite having trust issues, I have put my trust in them….hoping that these people don’t abandon me like a few others have that were supposed to help me. I say trust, I do, but there is always a part of me that is expecting them to break it or abandon me. Thank you again for your comment, you are a good heart and a decent person. Take care and very best wishes to you in 2024 🙏☮️
Who else grew up with a narcissistic mom and is dealing with their trauma now🙋🏽♀️
Edit: seeing all of the replies really breaks my heart because I can relate SO MUCH to all of you, just know you are loved and if someone ever needs to talk just ask me for my number and I’m here!!💗 we can get through this together
my mom too
Yeah, she was an expert at being the sweetest person when others were around but when they left she was back to her old angry self!
@@Redeemed26 yes exactly !!!
My dad was narcissist. But still it's a parent.
Yup 🙋🏻♀️
My abuser has literally asked me if I am “getting worn down yet” and am I “ready to stop fighting and let them have their way.” You hit the nail on the head!!! 🤦🏾♀️
Girl I’m praying for you … you need to GET OUT
That's so creepy, get as far away as possible, as it WILL escalate, good luck💖🌿
Wow. Knows exactly what they're doing!! But now you do too!
😞 Praying for you. My abuser used my Epilepsy against me and said if I dared call the cops he would tell them my memory was bad and I’m crazy
Smfh
The little leaf guy is so cute, seeing him upset is so sad lol
:’(
Thank you :) Sam did a great job!
r u a p s y c h o p a t h ?
@@alaynaleighh8688???
@@Mama03514 yea
In my 21 years of being with a covert narcissist I see these traits.
1. Incapable and unwilling to take any accountability for the chaos, dramas and mind manipulating confusion they create. 2. Always blame others for their problems.
3. Can't take the slightest criticism however we'll intentioned or kindly expressed. They see it as a massive ego attack. 4. Harbour resentments and grudges, loving to remind you of something that you
said or did decades ago ( even if it never happened the way they recall it) 5. Cannot regulate their emotions and use you as their scapegoat and emotional waste bin.
6. Chronically bored Always seeking the next thing to find some
thrill or distraction. 7. Like to bring you down to their low vibe Misery seeking level. 8. Highly jealous and envious of other but always denying it.
9. They feel entitled to having control of you and their needs met
but don't genuinely appreciate what you do for them.
10. Create stress upsets and arguments then attack and blame you for being upset with them, like kicking a dog and saying it's crazy for bark
ing at them.
11. Make their own rules about what you should think do and say while they follow no rules at all.
12. Talk about others behind their back and smear you to their family and friends to gain sympathy .
In short the traits of childlike behaviour before a healthy fully functioning self aware and socially developed grown up appears.
What they seek is a parent figure who will accept them as if still a child in an adult body. To love such a person requires a true Saint. A mere mortal will suffer and become ill physically mentally and emotionally abandoning themselves trying to rescue someone from their own self Sabotaging behaviours.
.
Literally what I am dealing with. I left my narc husband in Dec 2023. We coparent our 3 year old. I have to see him everyday and he pushes my boundaries constantly. I have no support so he loves the fact that he is still in the picture. He acts out all the time. I’m happy I have my own home, sense of peace but I have to figure out how to bring more separation because I hate interacting. He Hoovers and I’m tired. I just want to be done already!!
WELL SAID!! 🤯😪😭
Just got out of a friendship JUST like this.
Crazy how consistent this sort of stuff can be.
Spot on. You hit the nail.
When you come from a family origin of narcissistic abuse, you’re more susceptible to fall into narcissistic relationships in adult life. Whether with a partner or friend. We seek familiarity unfortunately, it’s just how we were programmed to function during childhood. There is hope, you’re not alone and continue to seek help! These informative videos help a bunch. Dr. Ramani’s videos are very helpful when it comes down to toxic and narcissistic abuse!
That's what happened to me. I tend to fall for ppl like the narcissist that adopted me.
@@ryannvolner7676 I’m sorry to hear that, stay strong! Thank you for sharing that, the communities built amongst these channels may help as support groups :)
Also Dr. Les Carter and The Little Shaman.
My mum is a narcisist and she gets mad if i get mad becoz she criticizes my every move and calling it "training" i mean what in the absolute fuck is criticism training
@@harleyquinn5774 thank you for the recommendation! Definitely will check them out!
you can get away from these relationships, i promise. it’s hard, and tiring, but once you make it, you’re walking on air. take it from someone who’s been through it and made it out the other end. remember, i love you and you’re valid 💜
Kinda hard when you've got no where to go and you can't get a job with stable enough income to save money to move away and even if you did manage it, you have no clue how to live on your own or do anything for yourself...
@@saniajunaid8016 Parents *and other family members
Thank you
I've been feeling like I've truly been moving on lately. I feel like my main and tertiary problems aren't problems anymore. I still feel the pain, but it erodes over time. And that's the key word, time heals everything.
I was dying in my last relationship. My body was shutting down from the stress and anguish. I thought I was crazy and all of my symptoms were a consequence from the abuse.I am so grateful to have gotten out. Thank you for creating this video.
Same. I wondered why I was sick for three months straight. My body was tired
Last 2 relationships I understand your pain. Completely
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
As a result of abuse,you feel victimized,manipulative tactics start to appear,your sensitive to any threat and act accordingly,slander and a smear campaign ensues,isolated and vulnerable,you should talk about it,anxious to rectify the gaslighting could cause self sabotage❌
I just got out of a bad relationship (my very first serious relationship) too not knowing anything about narcissism or anything like that and now 2-3 years later I’ve learnt what gaslighting is and just can’t imagine why someone would treat another human being like that like how could they be so self centred, there were so many times where he’d stare at his phone and just listen to me cry and not once did he try to comfort me.. I was the most loving person I could possible have ever been to him and he didn’t really even care.
Psilocybin saved my life. I was addicted to heroin for 15 years and after Psilocybin treatment I will be 3 years clean in September. I have zero cravings. This is something that truly needs to be more broadly used in addiction treatment.
Psychedelics definitely have potential to deal with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression, I would like to give them a try but haven't found any legit grower to get it.
@michealharris3221Is he on instagram?
The Trips I've been having have really helped me a lot,I finally feel in control of my emotions and my future and things that used to be mundane to me now seem incredible and full of nuance on top of that I'm way less driven by my ego and I have alot more empathy as well
Shrooms was the best trip I had. It was an amazing experience.
Tripping is not really bad but find a good mycologist Who will teach you the right things you need to know
This is exactly the story of my life. It's hard to recognize being a victim. A relationship of 4 years of abuse drained my life to the point that I thought I was dead. Just recently I started to live again but it's so hard, I never do comments for videos but this time I feel 100% identified cause I feel this video was made for me and as I'm writing this comment I have tiers. Don't mean to look petty or nothing. For whoever reading this comment right now and had a situation like this I want to tell you that even in the darkest moments you are never alone, just reaching to someone and saying something will make you feel a bit better. Even writing a comment. Sending tons of good vibes to everyone here.
It's also the story of mine. I was married to a narcissist for 14 years and had 2 children with him. We were only married 3 weeks the first time he slapped me across my face. His abuse was so bad that he had me convinced I couldn't make it on my own and times when I'd try to leave he would verbally beat me down telling me I'm used goods and no man would ever want me. Just like you, just watching this video brought me to tears. We've been divorced for almost 10 years now and myself and our children are still in therapy to this day due to PTSD from the situation. Just like you, I felt dead. It's taken me years and years of medication and therapy to realize I wasn't the problem and that I didn't cause the abuse. I'm still working on myself and I hope you are too! We can overcome!
😪😪
I'm sending you loads of love and to say that there is someone who is out there for you and will treat you like a queen I never wanted to date another man or anyone I wanted to be on my own so I broke away from everybody even my family and I became a self harmer as he made me feel like I was the one who was bad, but then I realised that it was him all along so I finally managed to get out and then I met someone who took care of me and was so supportive with my mental health and self harming I no longer do that anymore and I'm now married to someone who always puts me first I've never had that experience of any Man but it feels so good, so now I look at myself and i say I'm not a victim I'm a surveyor but I know what it's like you love them in a funny way and don't want them to leave but then i realised i was afraid of being on my own and alone i never loved him at all i was just scared to be alone and unhappy but I was unhappy very it took me a while to release that he never loved me at all he was so controlling told me what to wear, what makeup to wear and always told me off when other men just say hi and it was my fault and that's when I knew I had to get out and i did it I dumped his arse when I saw him on Facebook talking sexual to another woman so I dumped his arse by phone which probably was the worse way to dump someone by phone but I'm so proud of myself and where I am now so stay positive there is someone out there that will treat you like you deserve to be treated hun not like a door mat but like a queen just hold on in there it will happen hun one you'll be surprised that someone who will always put you first even before themselves they'll makesure that you are ok and are happy hang on in there hun. Much love ❤️ to you from me who knows what you've gone through it's not easy 💯 but you are a surveyor your not a victim like everybody says and that I'm also very vulnerable person which I hate that v
Word and victim I'm a surveyor just like you hun 😘we are both surveyor's of a very nasatistic nasty, evil person I wouldn't call it human that's not what us humans do it's not normal it's sick 🥰🥰❤️❤️
Try 20 years and 4 kids, wow what a nightmare that was, 2 yrs after divorce im still realizing just how messed up my head became. The bad part is I was to blind by love to realize it until recently smh sure hope the damage is reversible cause id sure love to have my life back, whatever it was like lol can't even remember. Best wishes for you and everyone else in need. I hope all can make a recovery and live a happy life
Thank you for this. Your word hit home.
Wishing you peace.
I feel like my abuser took everything that I had in me. The identity crisis is real. I don’t even remember who I was before.
Are you doing any better? I left my husband 4mos ago and I feel just as bad now as I did when I left. We were together 18 years and I just can’t move on. I actually want to be back with him, which I know is completely stupid!
Same.. And people think it's because I'm lazy. It has made me feel worthless and self doubt myself. I just wish I could sleep all day, just sleep and pass away. Death seems to be peaceful than this horrific life.
@@helloitsme-_- please talk to someone! Trust me I understand how sleep seems so good. Stay busy if you can. Praying has helped me but so have a therapist and friends. You will survive this time. You will. I’m still going through rough times…I cry a lot! But remember this isn’t forever, it’s just for now. 🙏🏽🥰
@@El_Roi75 ohh, thank you for your concern.. I appreciate people like you who understand, but I don't have friends whom I can rely on or my family. I'm not going to give up on my life though, I'm trying my best. You too don't worry. I read somewhere that you deserve to be loved the way you love someone else. So we should take care of ourselves first, and hopefully everything will be fine soon. Everything will be peaceful and in its place soon in our lives. Leaving such a relationship is the first step for it, and there is no going back. Even if it hurts and feels like we should go back to them, just don't. I wish you good luck, stay strong. I will try my best too, and follow self care to improve my situation. Thank you 😊
its cause we build our life around them. remove the cause and you find how much of your life they consumed. but building afresh is so invigorating, even your closest friends don't realise how much of an amazing person you are inside.
survive a narcessist and you can survive anything!
Sending a hug to anyone from a toxic family dynamic. 🫂
🤗 Thank you
Thank you
Thank you 😭😭
My whole life and I think I hurt my baby 😓
Lord I am so sorry... I know I could relate I’m just trying to identify If I did this to my daughter . I will ask her about it
This made me cry a lot. I don’t feel so alone hearing this, at least. I’m scared and I’m trying to undo some of my collapsed boundaries, but I’m really really struggling. This is real. I deal with this every day. And if you’re out there and you deal with this too, I’m so sorry. You are strong. I believe in you.
I feel the same way I feel terrible. This is truly Hellish. I wish you the best of luck.
Thank you ^^ i wish you nothing but the best. I go through it everyday too some being harsher then others, but never give in to it. And if anyone needs to talk feel free to comment here. No one deserves to go through this especially alone.
Please listen to coach Jesse on " Narcissist Chronicles" , and become a warrior and an effective narcissist slayer.
Agape love to you!
Note: Don't focus on your past, you are not going this way.
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
How are you doing now? I totally understand- threw months in and I’m just finally breaking the bond.
My dad was a narcissistic abuser. Beat me and emotionally/verbally abused me for 20 years growing up. Finally confronted him yesterday. He laughed in my face and said that it was all a lie that my mum (who is a psychologist) put in my head to steal me away from him. He is fucking insane. Thank you for making this video. I love my mother, more than anything in the world. But 3 hours with this man made me begin questioning that and everything I experienced as a kid. This video helped me understand how he is twisting my mind. I'm done with him. Moving on. Trusting my body and my experiences. Good luck to anyone out there experiencing this. TRUST. YOUR. BODY. Trust facts, not stories. I love you all!❤
I identify with this. About 7 years ago I left a religious way of thinking and lost all my friends and was separated from my family because I still had not stopped being afraid and over reacting to threats. I am now back with my wife and children..
your dad probably got abused by a narcissistic parent and good thing you didn't become like your dad (hopefully)
My dad is the exact same way. Likes to turn everything on either me, my mother, or my grandma. He never did anything wrong in his eyes and neither did my stepmother (she's awful too).
Thank you
Good thing you have enough courage to tell others about your scars and current limitations because of them and good thing that your dad is not the one holding a degree or more in psychology. Remember that people who are aware of their weaknesses can continue growing their entire lives while many people who believe in their pride that they already have it altogether enough to harshly judge others cannot
I literally started crying from the start until the end because I was a victim of abuse by a narcisstic parent and I am really struggling by all of these things the last several years after leaving the abusive habitat. :((
And your voice is very calming and nice, you were really good at this. Thank you for educating and supporting people.
2 years of no contacts. I have her blocked in every way. I just can't get it out of my head. I hate that it is still there . I don't want to waste any more of my time thinking about her or the abuse . It took me 14 years to realize I was never going to make her happy. Now I have to figure out how to make myself happy.
@@brianreed8271 I wish you the best of luck. I suggest you to get a professional help by a therapist who could help you to get on the track. Remember that none of it was ever your fault and you deserve to be treated kindly just like everybody else. 🥺🥺❤
Contact 👆👆 For Help...
😞😞
I’m crying right now
I used to be in a relationship with a narcissist. He mentally abused me to the point I had a mental breakdown. I've been in and out of the mental hospital for 10 years and I'm still healing. I can relate to a lot of the points you mentioned in this video. To whomever is reading this just remember you are not alone, nothing stays the same and you will get better. Sending my love x
I'm so sorry to hear what you went through.
You're so strong and brave to come out on the other side and try to help other's.
God bless you!
Thanks for that Lorraine so many of this feel we are the only ones going through it but it's quite common
@@ashleymacinnon9442 yes it is quite common I've come to find out, sadly
One in three one UA-cam thearapist said that's bad news U have to have been through it to get it sadly who the hell would want to get narcisstic abuse hell on earth especially where the flying monkeys are involved
They are still up to this bs even after new contact and in a new area sad and alarming it is if O wasn't medicated right now oh heck O don't wanna think about it
Had a "friend" whose behaviour correlates with many of these points. Been about a year or so since I cut ties with him, and I'm glad I did. I still feel like they've left some marks on me in the way I interact with other people, my bad anxiety or even my indecisiveness, but I'm working on it. I'm glad I found this channel. If you're stuck in the grip of a narcissist, get away from them as fast as you can. Whether they're your friend or your significant other, relationships with them are damaging and the effects can be long-lasting. You have the power to change anything, and just know you can do it :)
As the scapegoat of a narcissistic family, I was extremely traumatized by the time I left home. My life has been a shit show, but it is getting better with ongoing space between myself and those who abused me - and still would, given the opportunity.
Fucking tell me about it. Same boat.
Yup. Good on you for getting out. My life started to turn around when I left "home."
Stay strong! I just let my mom go at 29. It is an uphill battle! You were an extension of the abuser's will most likely. So you will feel very bipolar about leaving them behind, but it gets better :)
I’m finding this all too true, now that I’ve left I’m processing the abuse and trauma I’ve lived with and I realize that it’s created such a deeply rooted sense is mistrust in those around me even tho the person I’m with WOULD NEVER do the things my parents have. Leaving my home (or being kicked out) was the best decision that ever happened to me
It gets easier but id be lying if I said you dont have to make a conscious effort to love yourself even the parts that fill you with shame.
I'm queen of dissociation and it's better to be alone, for me anyway, more control that way.
me too
Been in the same situation for a while, tried avoiding any attachment to anyone but it still happened because it still hurt when people let me down. But being alone is often so painful too. How do you survive?
Same
My mom always complained why I always run to my imagination & daydreams, neither of us realised that I was trying to escape from the pain that she insinuated as parental love
big mood, the older I get and the more people I met, makes me want to just be by myself even more
U most definitely gotta be a psychic or sumn she always dropping a video about something i have or went thru other therapists need to take notes and get on this level fr
John 3:16 King James Version 16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." (share the good news of the gospel around the world!) Truth about the deceptive islamic religion channels: christian prince, light for all nations, light shineth in darkness ,,.,, .,,,
@@1CT1 Islamic and Christianity places of worship actually are very similar
Psychic2Go
@Friddo King thats dope and yes ots awesome its free with no synthetic meds lol
Shh, it's a secret ;)
I wonder how many videos I will need to see that perfectly describe my situation before I will actually believe it’s happening and stop blaming myself.
As many as you want. Because each step counts. The fact that you are here, proves you have already taken the first step. Next is to talk to someone, friends family. It helps. Don't worry about they judging you, because many times it's all in your head.
Same 😢
@Friddo King I too thought like you and just ignored my gut, for about 20 years. A few months ago he tried to set the house on fire while I slept, so I would burn to death or die of smoke inhalation while I slept. Don't ever question your gut feeling like I did for 20 years. Your gut loves you and tries to protect you, but your brain and heart work hard at belittling your gut. Run while you can.
there's a saying: half of the time of the duration of the relationship , in my case after 12 years of abusive relationship it took 6 years of therapie & healing time AFTER getting out of it!!
Same. I think it’s because we were blaming ourselves our whole relationship. I can’t believe I used to problem solve things and blame myself for the issues with everything
This is part of what led me to addiction. To anyone struggling with abuse and this syndrome who might be escaping these feelings of self doubt or hypervigilance by using drugs or alcohol, know that recovery is possible. I respect you for reaching this part of your life -- you've made it this far, and you can survive and thrive with support and guidance!
Needed this. Tbh pretty confused as I’m realizing I Have been involved in multiple Narcissistic relationships be a family or romantic and I’m connecting all the dots on where my addiction started the trauma is what triggers everything why I act the way I act and why my fears of the way they are. Anyway I’m sitting here struggling telling myself this will be the last hit and actually hoping that it will be, once again. Just to make it till tomorrow not blame myself for things people did to me
Edit: voice to text corrections made
Please help me
Me too. I genuinely believe if I hadn’t experienced all that my ex put me through I wouldn’t be where I am right now with my addiction🤦🏼♀️
Took decades to realize that the common factor in my family’s addiction was my dad’s narc abuse. He, of course, never drank.
I think this just saved my life
Had a narcissistic friend like this. She ended up ghosting me.
Was super painful, but looking back it was an easy ticket out of that toxic friendship.
Same :(
Got ghosted too but I’m glad he did. It wasn’t so easy for me to end the friendship earlier.
I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
@@Withthia I understand your point, and I don't believe that every single narcissist is an evil person. Especially if you take the steps to realize it and someone helps you make changes to be better. I applaud you for recognizing that and making an effort.
Once again, I understand where you're coming from. I never thought of her as evil, but misled by another toxic friend of hers down the line. My particular situation is my own personal experience, and I know what went down to lead to that ghosting. There was much more to it that happened prior, but it was after everything was resolved and I thought our friendship was secure, that she suddenly did it out of the blue. I did confront her on it on the one source she didn't ghost me on, but she simply left me on read. So there's never been closure, other than just accepting it and moving onward with my life.
But I guess thanks to that, I found my true friends and we're happier than ever. Sometimes it's just not meant to be with other people. And that's okay.
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
I always thought narcissism was just someone extremely vain and overly focused on appearance. Until I realized my wife of 21 years was incredibly toxic and narcissistic. Its probably the worst feeling in the world when you realize that the person who is supposed to be your partner, spouse, confidant, lover, etc has been lying to you the entire time. It feels soul crushing
Absolutely it’s only through these videos that I have realised what is happening to me. I agree it’s soul destroying 😞
@@abbeydawes5786 it gets easier I promise, not for a while though. I'm free going on 4 years and still have issues blaming myself, feeling not good enough, etc not as often thankfully
@Leeroy Jenkins Yes and no. She was in a relationship with a narc. Narcs scope out people who have strength! They plan from day one to break that person so they will feel stronger. Is this your first video on this topic?
@Leeroy Jenkins Google the research in Neuroscience on Narcissism, Complex PTSD, and trauma bond.
@Leeroy Jenkins I agree. She picked him, but what I meant was she chose him because of her background. I understand what you mean. If you went to a restaurant for dinner and you prefer steak over seafood.....you will order steak.
Ok, so we chose the wrong man. Trust me
... we remember the one that was good to us when we realize our mistake and think of that person often. ♥️
THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING
You can be 100 percent accountable and still be accused of not changing or caring. It's spooky how they hear nothing but their own diatribe.
I honestly cried watching this video. I’m experiencing this with my parents, for years it felt like i was never going to find an answer or some type of clue that i could discuss with a therapist. This video is literally explaining my whole entire life. Now as an adult, i have multiple mental health issues to the point, i can’t even function on some days. Thank you for making these videos, they honestly give me the hope and courage i need. You guys are just beyond amazing💕
You are beyond amazing!
Thank you for your support. We hope you'll continue to get better and stronger :)
Feel proud that you are strong enough to see the problem so now you can focus on healing and loving yourself first...I have been through it, you can do it too
I cried watching this, dealing with a narcissistic mother has always been so hard.
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!.
I'm so sorry for you, I really hope you're okay ;-;
@@sriku1000 shut up lmao
Yep. Me too.
❤️
1: you felt like you had the perfect relationship in the beginning
2: you feel like you are walking on eggshells
3: you may have experience severe campaigns
4: you feel isolated and vulnerable (hovering)
5: you develop a pervasive sense of mistrust
6: you may engage in self sabotage and self destructive behavior
7: unexplained physical symptoms
8: you may have issues setting boundaries
9: you may question your own self identity
10: you may find it hard to make decisions
I identified with all the symptoms, but I am fully aware of all of them and am healing.
I pray for all my brothers and sisters who have endured this abuse and want you to know that you are enough, you are brave and smart and creative! Your abuser was jealous of you! Be proud of who you are and go forth in peace to find true love and joy!
I always notice that I dissociate whenever my father is around. He's definitely a narcissistic parent. I think me and my siblings all have some kinda problem/might be mentally troubled because of how he treats us and how he shows us how he treats other people. He always show up as a good and decent person whenever he face other people but when it comes to us. Nahhhh.
They crumble when you confront them *together* .
Same my both parents are narcissist. But i dont see them as narcissistic as a person. Because im not sure if they are narcissist as a person. :(
Exactly!!!!
they're like that. I tell other people that i don't talk to my mom and they think i'm some ungrateful person. I always get "But she's your mother." Because people just don't understand. Even when they meet her, they'll think i'm lying or something. It's only if they're around long enough to see her true colors that they'll finally understand. The last guy i seriously dated hates her. We dated for years, and he got to know her well enough to see, and now he can't stand her.
But other people who meet her, or don't know her that well, she's got them all fooled into thinking she's so damn nice, and then i look like the crazy one. I guess my point is, I believe you. You're not eh crazy one. Those other people just don't know the truth
I kinda relate,not really like you but I had similar situation
These signs in isolation deserve therapy. Whether you identify with the label or just experience these symptoms, they warrant professional help.
Man, I would but my parents are the abusers in my case, they would never let me go to therapy, especially if I tell them why
Childhood is a period of your life, not your whole life. When you get out and can manage to help yourself, you'll be every bit the survivor and the winner you deserve to be.
@@renanbo6562 You jumping to conclusions and calling them abusive because they don't give you everything you want says a lot more about yourself than them, just saying.
@@bunille you’re the only one here jumping to conclusions
@@jamesboorman9826 I'm looking at an open-minded approach of this instead of enabling them. For all we know they could be a covert narcissist themselves. Narcissism can be genetic for a reason. I am not speaking with certainties unlike many people here, which certainties are literally just the result of being biased, not being truthful.
And young teens call their parents abusive all the time over little everyday normal things. Until we've got actual proof that they were abusive through the symptoms they express (anything related to narc abuse not mentioned on this video, or they can just fake it easily), instead of the classic "my parents are abusive narcissists because they don't let me [insert bad behaviour]". That's deflecting on their end. Enabling is not empathetic.
Me: *identifies with every single symptom*
Also me: "nah I must be exaggerating"
Always thinking something like that..
(= > • < )
Me
Do you guys want somebody to talk to? I'm always listening..
yup, same. And the thought process continues: I must be exaggerating, I probably don't remember well... What if I treated this person in this same way? Oh no, what if this is how this person thinks I treat them? Am I a narcissist?? ..... (edit: typos)
God why is this me tho
WOW I wish I found this video sooner... A year ago I was struggling so bad with these symptoms it drove me crazy. Post-abuse isolation is real and it's important that you acknowledge your worth above other's views of you.
go check out my youtube channel on narcissism(watch the shorts)
Went from having narcissistic parents to being on a 5 year abusive relationship with another narcissist. I finally just got out less than a year ago. He stalks me, harasses me, etc even after all this time. I’m still trying to heal from it all and I’m working on finding myself, but I feel every single symptom that was listed. Cried from the beginning to the end. Thank you for this video.
Same except I'm still in the relationship & it's going on 8 years. Idk what to do 😩 I keep feeling like he's changing but, I can't tell if he really is or I've just been here so long that I'm making myself believe that he is
@@GjenevaGjeneva Unfortunately, the second option is most likely whats happening. I’ve learned they really don’t change. Especially after 8 years. It’s just been so long you feel like if you leave now, it was just a waste of time and energy. And then you put a bunch of “what ifs” in your head and it makes you stay longer.
THIS IS my life right now. Got away from a narcissistic mother only to end up in a 5-year relationship with a narcissist. My 100th time researching narcissist and reminding my trauma bonded brain that he is no good. Each time I fall back to his love bombing only for the cycle to repeat itself.
@@danielle.isabella I needed to read your comments because those are my thoughts exactly after 5 years and me getting into my early thirties, I do not want the rest of my life wasted.
@@GjenevaGjeneva on a particular bad day I realised this was never going to change. Left the next day and never looked back. Life became a lot better after that. Hope you're finding yourself well ✌️
“Once you know, you can grow” ~~ Powerful.
I really relate to all the points. I can’t tell you how many times I have questioned my sanity. These people are crazy.
Me too
Yeah, My dad, my mom, at a young age taught me that love is something you get when you deserve it. Never content unless I did only good things and sheltered me when I did wrong. They’ve left me mentally vulnerable and I feel as if everyone is out to harm me. In relationships I try way too much to make sure the other loves me which leaves both exhausted and overwhelmed. I try my hardest to ignore the boundaries of reassurance but it’s hard when I hardly trust myself, so broken, so damaged from a past that wasn’t even my fault.
If you've had expectations set really high for you by a narcissistic. Remember that expectations are just pre meditated resentments.
Edit: thanks for the likes.
Yo
fuck that was real
Holy crap, that's really well put thank you i had never thought of it that way 🤯
He told me that I would do until something better came along. The things narcs say, and believe. It blows my mind. It was 30 years ago and I still remember that, glad it's over.
@@yeseniatecaxco7545 it wasn't me who put it that way. It was my mom who rescued me from my narcissistic mother. She always says "baby girl. Expectations are just pre meditated resentments"
@@savetrump9120 narcissists say and believe a lot. But they aren't the sharpest knives in the drawer either.
20 year's of this abuse. I am slowly finding my way again. Thank you. 💕
me too you got this ❤
Thats awesome for you, i havent read too many people that dont stay marred or together that long good for you for getting out you 😊 Same here 20 years on and off. I'm free finally slowly working on myself self-love and self healing and reading, and watching these videos and tic tok videos and learning more of what to ignore from The Narcissist abusers. Learning how to take myself back ❤
After four years of narcissistic abuse, I finally got a divorce from my abuser, and I ran into them at Walmart the other day. I handled it very well, and am realizing now that they do not have any control on me now. I’m finally finding myself again.
Hell yea! Good for you my friend, glad ur safe now and have a healthy life again!
This does not say whether or not you are a woman. I am assuming and I would bet my bottom dollar that you are a woman. Women love be the Victim.😅😅
@jimshelton1437 okay abuser sympathizer
I'm an introvert and an empath. I've been living with "family" for the past 4 months now. This house is full of extroverts and narcissists. There is not a single introvert. These 4 months have changed me in so many ways. I laugh less, smile less, feel more lonely, I'm feel more exhausted, stressed and the list goes on. Can't wait to get out of here.
hope you're doing okay
Same here once I left it felt so free
I so feel this
God yes. I do feel for you and hope you found a way out. Being an introvert and just by simply being around extroverts will definitely make you feel drained.
When you mentioned the silent treatment as a form of abuse i knew this was for me. My abuser would DEMAND silence (like weeks of zero contact) over the smallest inconvenience on their part (let me tell you about the final straw with them). And when they finally would speak to me, they wouldn’t address the issue or have a healthy conversation about the thing that led to the silent treatment. Just be like yeah we’re cool and then be fine until the next thing i did wrong. It was always something different. I made sooo much of an effort to give them what they wanted but that was never good enough and the cycle would repeat itself. They also accused me on multiple occasions that I was gaslighting them that by the time i realized what gaslighting was, i became very aware that it was them gaslighting me and gaslighting me by accusing me of doing it to them.
Yes. If you don’t take yourself out of that abuse the cycle just continues. I lived on that roller coaster for two-and-half years. Been no contact now for nine months. Everyday is still a struggle but I keep trying to move forward and not back. Hang in there!
The silent treatment was so fucking painful. They knew exactly how much it hurt us and they loved it, and they knew that we’d forgive them as soon as they decided they were no longer mad at us :(
Ghosting and gaslighting when you ask them for accountability lol 🌈
My mother would do this to me as a child. The silent treatment until I would apologize and begged for affection even though it wasn’t my fault. She has been dead for over 20 years now but I still feel like a frightened little child and I still miss her. She used to make all the decisions for me. As a result, I’m a very indecisive adult and have very low self esteem and I’m a people pleaser.
@@truthh8597 I use ghosting and silent treatment especially on narcissists. It works...so well.
I feel like my friend (who I'll call Burrito) might have this... They dates a girl that I'll call her... Janine. Janine was nice at first, and even I got along with her. But she started acting really suspicious, and if I remember clearly, she cheated on Burrito. So they broke up. Janine agreed to stay friends with us. But that didn't last for long. She started spreading rumours and turning Burritos friends against them. We were obviously really pissed. Janine started doing all of these really manipulative things... I think I might send this video to my friend and see how they feel. Because I feel like all of these apply to them.
Burrito if you see this comment, just know I love you okay? You're very strong and I believe in you. ❤️
It's so sad how easily we can propagate trauma and abuse before we are even capable of knowing what we're doing. I could see as a child my parents' sincerity, hypocrisy and cruelty side by side, and it terrified me. That fear has not failed to run my life since, in spite of all my efforts. I relate to every single point. Great video as always 💫
That’s why I’m so heartbroken now and I’m 25… I never felt right as a child, and now I’m learning why, and then I get memories of things that happened and I can relate it to the new terminology or situations I’ve heard that happen, and it hurts so much knowing what was happening. And that it is still happening :(
I hate the feeling of walking on egg shell, really exhausting
I won't mention who in my life, but I really relate to this... I've developed a depression within 16 years an I'm finally getting help, it's not easy to leave this lifestyle, but what matters is to take the first step... Sometimes your first step migth not be succesfull, you might feel that things got worse, but do remember that it was a first step and NOT YOUR LAST. My therapist is doing wonders with my internal self, I'm learning to love myself and grow, I know there is a lot going forward to work with, but I'm happy to say that taking that first step, did wonders
Pls share your healing experience..
@@Aamy444 I'm the first born of 3, though we were suppose to be four... The first sibling didn't make it and that made me become the eldest son, with a brother and a little sister. I was born in hard times, the kind that made my parents go through a lot and at an early age I started having responsibilities, I can't remember them giving me anything specific back then, it just came naturally to me that I needed to take care of my brother back then, I was 8. I was the type of observer that learned just by seeing, even at that age, so there where things I learned and comprehended even though I was to little to understand everything around me. I remember that ever since I was at that age things kept getting worse, from all sides, especially out of our home, but unfortunately those hard times set the tone Indoors... I had to live with my head down because of several (if not all in some shape or form) the situations mentioned on the video, and now, as a 25 year old, I don't see myself as an adult, but a teen... Living on this scenario made me feel like I never had my childhood properly, my teenage years went by to fast and for years I've been feeling horrible to the point of desiring death, I felt trapped and constantly suffering since I'm the type that blows up on the inside to not cause harm to anyone around me... I've had attempts, but thankfully at the moment of truth I never had it in me to end myself. Things have gotten worse when I tried to open up and ask for help, several times actually, which sadly also affected emotionally my girlfriend as well, adding to the things she has to deal on her own side of the story as well. I asked a friend, my best friend for years before I met my GF, if she knew anyone to recommend for help where I live, she's not from here but knows well, and through her I found my therapist. I'm finally learning to cope with everything I had to endure for the last 16 years and learning to let myself grow, to believe in myself and to not be imprisoned, by my own feelings or by the narcism that sadly has been strong in my life. I care deeply about this person and I can say that I love this person, but I do recognize that I need a drastic change if I want happiness, starting from myself on the inside, and taking slow but calculated steps on the outside. I can feel it, right in my grasp, almost at reaching distance... And that's the hope I needed
@@victorribeiro6772 will pray for you...God bless
@@Aamy444 thank you, I hope your doing well ˆˆ if not, that soon you will be :)
@@victorribeiro6772 very understandable and gald you was able to realize your trauma (you will get through it), I took a step back from my partner in order for me to heal and will hope he can heal himself as well 🙏🏾
I am a male and this actually opened my eyes to the fact that I have been, in the past in a narcissistic abusive relationship towards me. I did not realize it until listening to this podcast. My lady friend at the time would give me silent treatments over perhaps something I said even though it wasn’t mean or nasty I had to watch what I say and she would give me a silent treatment for days if not a week or more. She would also twist my words of things I said. One day and she was giving me the silent treatment I told her when she’s done playing games let me know and we’ll talk. She never did that to me again. I always felt that I was walking on eggshells and I had to watch what I said around her because she would twist it or go off in a rage. She kept wanting me to sell my house and move to another state and I told her that I was not willing to do that and I told her that I was tired of her pushing me to do things that I did not want to do. That angered her and she moved out of our bedroom into another room and she played the silent game again walking around me and not saying a word for over a week until she got over it. We are no longer in a relationship.
I am just coming out of similar...feel dead inside right now...but it can only get better x
I hope you will be ok!
You definitely made the right decision 🎯🎯⭐️⭐️
@@baba440 check out dads surviving divorce channel too…..Duane had same….3 kids, covert narc wife….he took the plunge several yrs ago & now helps others….he has camping channel too showing the joys of living true to yourself 💙
Tan-
Jeez man up. You sound like a pity party. You’re lucky to even have a gf because you don’t seem like a joy to have around.
Yes! It is like walking on eggshells around your abuser but it lasts inside you and in other relationships to be hypervigilant and rejecting of others too who you become mad at.. Thank you soooo much for your super-empathic voice and information. I feel like you side with me as the "original" and real victim in this situation. You even include the conditioning idea which really grounds me in the truth of what is going on, when I see that "training" has happened over time and that is why it is soooo hard to SEE!!! ... and it is also scary to see the unsafety of it all.
Don't allow the narcissist to take up space in your mind, block them out, in time they should be forgotten. Find as many Empaths to share your life with. Only keep good and loving memories in your heart ❤️ I'm selling my property and I'm moving away from my dangerous narcissistic neighbor, my quality of life is more important than this evil neighbor.
A good quote I came across.. If their absence brings you peace you never lost them 🖤
Contact 👆👆 For Help.
"When you get too lost by the pain, you confuse what is right and wrong anymore, thus making your actions go unnoticed while you focus on being the victim"
My mother's biggest flag that I see so clearly now is how she throws a pity party for herself almost every time I or my other family members/friends try to talk about our own painful experiences/traumas. It's always a competition and it's so exhausting.
This is what I’m seeing with my sister right now. It’s not a safe feeling at all. She refuses to have any vulnerable conversation unless is talking mad shit about our parents. She has no issue critiquing them but when I try to talk to her about some things I’d like support healing in regards to our past circumstances it turns into “I was abused harder and longer than you ever were, don’t make me the bad guy” when all I wanted was to talk about my feelings with her. She just graduated with her masters degree in social work and she acts like I’m attacking her.
I have nothing because of her and she still acts like she’s the victim
I feel you too, we're both in the same path. The only difference is, that my mom is super loving until my dad destroys everything. He persistently puts the blame to her for his failures although it was his fault in the first place, I've felt really sad that things doesn't turn out well especially since pandemic. Now, we're really struggling a lot in these crisis. I hope one day we'll be able to fix this relationship even though it seems impossible as it already is.
Yeah! I do not understand why someone would WANT to be sicker or worse than everyone else. That is SICK in its own way.
Literally when I opened up about CSA to a narcissist, they said, "I experienced that, too, but I'M past all of that now and don't let it rule my life." They further went on to insinuate that's just a woman's lot in life.
Ooooookay....thanks for the one-upping and guilt trip, I'd like off this ride now. 🙃
This is also an autistic response, to sad things. Like building rapport. Always make sure they're not neurodivergent.
I’ve been diagnosed with this. This video hit me right in the feels, because it’s exactly everything I’m suffering from. It made me feel heard and like I’m not delusional
I related to most of them, I’ve just recently gotten out of a 3 year relationship with a narcissist, and my whole identity has changed. Friends and family tell me I’ve matured a lot, but I really think it’s just my fear to be myself around anyone is becoming greater. But now that I’m aware of what’s wrong with me, I can work to fix myself. Healing takes time. Thank you guys for making content like this, I’m sure a lot of us need it.
*“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”* ―Dale Carnegie
Love from a small channel💙
"A SMALL CHANNEL WHO ONE DAY WILL BE BIG"keep doing bro,one day u will make it,also thx for the quote it raised in me a motivated beast haha xD
When I tried to set boundaries growing up, I wish my mother would have given me the silent treatment rather than the verbal beatings she would give me.
I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
Trust me....
*Silent treatment are DEADLY!!!💀 Humans always somehow are Resilient and come around when beaten, but those deadly silent treatments are deafening, daunting, eerie, long suffering, tormenting and emotionally painful....* 😣
This is your sign to leave!!!!! Dealing with a narc is like a road leading no where. The longer you stay the more you lose yourself, and after you leave make sure you start your healing process asap. The longer you prolong, and mask how you feel the more painful the healing process will be. Be patient, and gentle with yourself ❤️
And pray, it really works, you might feel as if you’re lonely but God is here
Im going be conservative here and say im a narcissist but like a 1-2(because im human),my coworker is a narcissist like a 9 on a scale.he uses roids,hes a liar,a manipulator,he only wants to work when it makes him look good,he has applied for boss 3 times everytime to get rejected,how can i keep my sanity.i try to have normal conversation with him,but he is a manipulative person who will use words to get his way.he will say something then say im just kinding,so i try to keep cool and say well u said u wanted to do this so go do it,he says i didnt say that i say thats the words you said so do what ya are asking here derek.hes difficult very difficult.one day hes wide open ready to do something next day hes the biggest procrastinator in the world,
hey @@bkh5746 I appreciate your transparency. Also, I think you should have little to no contact with such person
You will never be a woman
you don't know you're being abused by the time it's at its worst! They are master manipulators
My name is also Amanda. I was raised by a narcissistic mother. I'm starting my own small art business and this really hit home because I've been holding myself back from making my dream a reality and couldn't figure out why. This really connected some dots for me. Thank you so much, from the Bottom of my Heart. ^_^
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
Same here. It is a weird thing to not understand what is keeping you from pursuing your passions. It’s like having a magnificent race horse inside that is chained up but constantly trying to break free. We just have to keep picking those locks and breaking through those barriers of criticism and self-doubt programmed into us by narcissistic parents. Good luck with your business Amanda!
I definitely feeling like I’m stuck in a healing trauma loop. I am definitely really happy to be free now. I see all the abuse I endured and it’s hard to believe how it happened. But sometimes I feel like I can’t get beyond the treatment, it was so life-altering and feeling like so few around me really understand is futher isolating. Not to mention the trigger of all that still support a person so evil after you reach out for help. It’s further invalidating and makes you feel worthless as a human that people don’t care enough to help.
i feel like i can relate to this in some way. in other people’s eyes i seem to be clear minded and like i know better than to stay (since im always sad about my family problems) but my survival tactics had me stuck on a loop where i didn’t even know i was literally numb! for years! it would come in waves too, i’d be doing good taking care of myself for some weeks or months and then my anxiety around others will build up till i break down again and after so many times i feel like people believe i’m making excuses for myself and now believe IM the problem. which is now my learned subconscious thought/fear 😞
Facts and going through the same thing
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
Healing trauma loop... Thank you for putting this into words. I am in this loop for almost four years since I've broken up with my abuser. Few months back I learned from a common friend that he's in a new relationship and how he's doing terrible things to his new partner. And this person tells me further that she likes it that way... Who likes to be abused? No one. I don't get people who just stand by and watch their close ones drown. I am so creeped out by this news, just by thinking that it could have been me still in that situation....
I realized last winter that I am a victim of narcissistic behavior from my family. I’ve watched so many of your videos. This page has helped me identify and label my mental health issues and related health problems. I never thought that they were related. I’m slowly healing and it’s been hard, but I’m happy i am trying to better myself. Thank you so much.
I have NPD, and I used to be an extreme emotional manipulator in 2020, untill I was groomed and abused myself and finally found out that who I was was awful. I'm happy to say I'm getting better as a person, and I love this video, I wish I had seen it when I was younger. It would've respected and loved people around me so much more😔
Borderline with narc traits here - thank you for doing the work. It’s a sad truth that you’re probably going to get hateful responses because pwNPD are so harshly demonized and stigmatized, but NPD is a trauma disorder, usually onset by abuse from a cluster B parent, just like the other cluster B disorders. Cluster Bs are usually products of other cluster Bs I’ve noticed. You’re doing amazing and the fact you want to be better shows you are a good person at heart, no matter the survival skills you picked up through your trauma. Keep doing the work and you’re golden. Sending you sm love, strength, and success in your recovery from NPD ❤
Keep going I suck too
7 out of 10 points true for me. I recently separated from my verbally, emotionally, physically abusive narcissistic (just realised from this video) husband.
I had the support of immediate family and friends. May every person out there find support in some form too.
I cried watching this. I am a psychology student and sometimes I think I have learned enough to actually see patterns in my own behavior and how it‘s connected to my childhood. Then I am blown away again by how much my dad affected the way I believe others to perceive me, their intentions, whether they actually want me to be with them and also how I see myself. I can be so, so hard on myself and sometimes, I don‘t even realise it because it‘s all I ever known and think to be normal ever since being a child. Thank you for providing information that can help us heal from past wounds we maybe didn‘t even know were there.
Same here. Okay we learned, now what?
Same question I've learned and want to come out of this but dunno how ......if I live here 2 more years I will leave this world 😢@@kolik94
I've recently discovered that my dad was a narsasaist and just how much that has impacted my life. For me, his passing away almost 4 years ago has been a tremendous freedom in my life. Four of these "symptoms" fit me right off. Thank you for the information and the encouragement you let your channel show.
AAK.... this is too much truth. Even knowing that I have had several narcissists in my family and in past relationships, it's still a punch in the heart to hear how this can play out and what long term effects can happen. I think a lot of people who have narcissistic parents or siblings end up in relationships with narcissists because it's familiar and they may not even realize what is happening. I was certainly programmed as a child to support a narcissist and ended up doing so.... that relationship almost destroyed me. it took a lot of work and therapy to work through the long term effects.... I'm still working on them many years later. Thanks for making this video, it was a great reminder of all the ways I'm stronger now and how much healthier my relationships are. And a good reminder that when I struggle with people, it's probably because of past experiences and to be gentle and kind to myself.
I definitely suffer from this. It's a daily struggle. Just getting out of bed, eating, self care became a struggle. I have thought I didn't even deserve food. I'm getting better everyday, but still hypervigilant. Thank God for being with me to help me thru it. ❤🙏
Same I've lost 30lbs in two months
I'm stuck in the "I don't deserve xyz" space and have been for a long time.
Same
Wow that hit home. I had no idea this feeling was a common thing
I hope you’re doing better now
I love how calming her voice is it makes me feel so relaxed 😌
same
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!.
This channel has helped me TREMENDOUSLY!!!!! I don't know what I'd do without it. God bless all of your team who work hard and compassionately to help others.
All I can say is that; these videos weren't around back in the day 1981-1982. When I first encounter a relationship with a narcissist I had no clue/knowledge about NPD , and I was very young 16 -17 years old, that relationship last one year, I had no support from my family they would team up with the narc boyfriend against me, I prayed for away out, God heard my cry and freed me from that toxic hell (thank you Jesus), and thank you for sharing your videos they're educational and informative.
My dad’s a narcissist I have a lot of commonalities with him, and quite frankly I really wish I wasn’t one as well. I’ve been refusing it for so long but my dad took a huge toll on my life and I don’t want to do all he did to me to my future children. But now having watched the video and realize I relate to all of these, I see that yes, I have narcissistic victims syndromes, and I’m pissed off about it.
@Oliver Erz Thank you for this mate, thank you. I don’t often receive words of encouragement and hearing them even from a stranger mean a lot.
I’m sorry you had to through that with your friend :( They’re clearly missing out cause you seem great, I’m happy you were able to move on and be happier without them
@Child of Christ Hmm seems intriguing, I’ll check him out, thanks.
My dad too. I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
You may have traits but I can already tell you are no narcissist, my friend. In my experience, the TOP signs is they have ZERO empathy, take no accountability, and they always have a mountain of excuses ready. They think they're "the best" and literally can't/refuse to acknowledge their faults. Keep working on yourself and you will see it through!
@@Suprizle How do you know the character of a narcissist so well? You a victim too?
She described my parents exactly, and how I feel about them. It’s makes me feel like at least I’m not the only one and it’s gives me an explanation about my behavior and the way I am.
Thank you so much for those amazing videos.
This used to be me for my entire childhood, teens, adulthood and even into becoming a parent myself. There IS a light at the end of the dark road though! I went no contact with that family over 3 years ago, got in contact with some wonderful NARC (Narcissistic Abuse Recovery Counselors/Coaches) and finally was able to heal. There will always be little things like a shadow in the back of your mind that questions if you can do something or not; if your best effort will be good enough... but it gets easier as that shadow becomes quieter. I often now hear one of my support network telling me, "HOLD MY BEER!" Silly, yea but it makes me laugh and pulls me away from the past to fight for what I want to accomplish in the here & now. "The only person that's always been there for you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week since the day you were born is YOU." Break free for yourself; do it for you to show yourself you're worth every bit of it. Hugs to you all!!!
I relate to ALL of them!!! because she was a malignant Narc. I truly feel for all the victims that have gone through Nacisistic abuse of Any kind! It is truly the most difficult thing that a human being could go through.
Watching these make me so glad that I could come in like a wrecking ball into my wife's life. My mother-in-law is most definitely a narcissist. And until I came crashing in unabashedly, my wife was a victim of her mother's abuse. I don't put up with narcissists and have been helping my wife with recognizing, ignoring, and overcoming her mother's abuse. My wife still struggles with a lot of these signs. So learning from your videos is a great help!
I am not a pro so I cannot say professionally that my mother is a narcissist but I think she displays a lot of the signs.
I didnt know about these things until my partner made me aware of it. I am 29 years old now. I have been with my partner for over 6 years.
It is nice to hear that you are helping your partner just like my gf is helping me but please be patient with yours as she might not have even been aware of it.
When I was younger I didnt know at all, I just knew that something was wrong and I would confirm this by sleeping over at friends houses every weekend to get away from home and I would see how different all my friends parents were with my friends.
I have tried numerous times to discuss these points with my mother but everytime she will brush it off and say something along the lines of 'oh youre holding onto the past', 'just let it go' and the very manipulative 'you know that im not gonna be alive forever so you should move on with this'
I have since cut ties with my mom. It was the hardest thing to do and I still think about it today but it was the only option for me to heal properly. I still wish my mom the best, I just want her to not be part of my life.
My mom used the be worst when i was younger. I'm not the type of child that would shut up if i got mistreated. As i grow up her argument become more unclear and weaker, she always tries to change the topic to edge me and make me feel I'm the worst but since i started standing up for myself (literally using logical argument) she stopped since last year and changing slowly. I thought I'm the only one noticing but my sister too.
Just keep in mind that wanting to have control over her is sort of a flipside of what she's doing, just that you're her kid, so it can't be excused as normal as kids are not supposed to have control over their parents, at all. You see her as weak and see yourself as strong, I don't know what exactly to say to that, but whether or not you're a narc yourself is confusing, but you definitely haven't been hurt by one because victims develop a dependence and warped love for them, not hate. ...Also that it may be genetic.
I probably have this syndrome. I ghost people too. I may be toxic unintentionally and once I realise I stop. I recently got a friend who's helping me through it. I ghosted once but he reached out and made me realise how wrong that is. Since that day I've never ghosted again. I believe I was brought up in narcissism but thats okay, it doesn't define me. I define myself. So yeah, sometimes it takes confrontation, one friend or even a video or a lesson by leaving the relationship but then don't judge them and say their evil unless they knew exactly the pain they caused. I recently made a video, and created a channel to define my own self. Fell free to support
ua-cam.com/video/V93NpMBuqlg/v-deo.html
@@bunille no why would i?? I just wanted her hug and smile. She never hugs me when I'm awake. Now she even drag my feet and i hug her everyday. Which she was refusing for the past years. I just wished we were like this since the beginning. Haha not related at all but if I'm gonna talk about something related is that she actually listens to me. Before she gonna use the information to guilt trip me.
And no it's not i see her as weak. Read my paragraph again. It's her argument.
@@bunille also idk about the love part but definitely dependence. Cause she's of course my mom.
Same here. But now im just tried of her immature arguments. I dont talk with her anymore. Im just really tired and want to get of this family. So i just keep quiet and receive all the pain no matter how it makes me suicidal.
8:12 Hey Amanda, I also related to these points. I have had to deal with a father who is a bully, gaslighter and a hard core narcissist. Just wanted to say thank you so much for sharing. I almost cried when you said "once you know you can grow", it helped me feel little better. Thanks for sharing, thanks for the voice overs and everything you do in your channel! Remember you are not alone.We,your subs and fellow Psych2goers love you 💜🤗. I hope you are doing well ☺️
Much love,
Varun
#7 is so true for me. My health overall has improved. Lost weigh, blood pressure and glucose significantly improved. But a “smaller” health improvement I almost didn’t realize is my allergies haven’t bothered me since I’ve been away from him as strange as that may sound. When I was around him I would go through SO many bottles and packets of allergy pills. But I have rarely needed an allergy pill since I’ve been gone. I’m just not having allergy flare ups left and right like I was before. I can’t help but laugh. I guess I was allergic to him.
Allergies are closely linked to your immune system. Chronic stress suppresses your immune system. That's an easy explanation. Hope it helps.
You know shit is bad when you're allergic to the guy
I've never called my ex a narcissist, but he definitively had most of the traits. I realize now that I've had all 10 signs told in this video, it's crazy. I'm just so glad I got away from him 5 years ago. And I definitively have trouble trusting again
Stay strong!
Trust yourself look for things that make you happy and focus on that trust your instincts trust that you are aware of the trust that you count, you are alive, your thoughts your realities your perceptions are real. embrace that, know when you’re true to yourself by focusing on that what you truly desire, everything falls into place.
It took me 7 years to almost be over it. I started to disassociate 4 years after I walked away. And somehow on the 7 years I couldn't understand what was happening to me, regression in speech, extreme memory loss, seeing things, and so on. I got so scared one night, I think it made me snapped out of it. Although Im still fragile. I'm here to listen if someone needs to vent or talk.
What do you mean snap out of it?
it’s so hard when you think that you’re snapping out of it
I'm still struggling and brain scrambled stuttering all the time🙄
I hope you heal from this awful experience and we are also here for you. In my experience with a narc, after being with this person for almost a year and a half, I think I just gradually detached myself to him cause before that detachment, i was really torn on leaving him officially because i felt like i was so dependent on him but he was also never there to emotionally support me when I needed it. so right after all of his mistreatments like cheating on me, thats when I realized I needed to escape that relationship slowly but also officialy. because the earlier times I tried to break off with this person, he was constantly gaslighting me and threatening me to not leave him which was so tormenting to deal with cause I knew I was not happy about it.
Just want to say I hope your in a better place. You coming back home to urself will always always be worth the struggle of overcoming the pain
I’m suffering from this. The last part made me cry, because I suffer from a range of mental illness that make me vulnerable to this kind of abuse. These videos also inspired me to study to become a psychologist, so I can further understand my own mental health conditions so I can help others like me! Thank you so much for your videos! They’re truely helpful!
Same here always wanted to be in the mental health industry because so many people just wanna feel like someone cares out there and i want to be that person. Good luck in your psychology journey!
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!.
The emotional support from others in a community can help victims of this type of abuse recover and is so appreciated.✌🏼
"once you know, you can grow; acknowledging the effects of being in a narcissistic relationship is the first step to healing from one" (8:20)
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
This video really hit the bullseye-
I was in an abusive friend group with multiple narcissists in it and was friends with them for 3-5 years. They would often invalidate my experiences/feelings, hide things from me, and manipulate other friends and family that I was in the wrong. They still do it. I can’t even get away from them since I go to a small school and they participate in most of the activities I’m in. I even feel like I’ve picked up some of their bad habits and unintentionally hurt other people using their tactics, which makes me feel awful. I wish nobody has to experience these things. Because of a few manipulative people, I will struggle to make meaningful relationships for the rest of my life. Stay safe out there-
It’s hard for people to understand how a relationship, a person, can literally affect your whole lives thinking. It’s been 6 years that I left my malignant narcissistic partner and I still suffer from PTSD.
Been 4.5 years for me after departing a 18.75 year marriage. I am finally starting to regain who I was before the marriage. Still enduring the smear campaign, the isolation, and trying to trust again... slowly but surely. Be strong!
The end made me cry, I have a narcissistic parent and have been really going through it lately but this video made me feel a little bit better. Thank you for the video you guys make great content
I still struggle with this after my break up almost 2 years ago. It hurts... A lot. Heart races sometimes when I think back to the belittlement, the yelling, her lackadaisical attitude towards it all. I'm still struggling with a lot of these. I felt like I was just being dramatic and felt like I was the one that was wrong. I sat and listened and endured. I brushed off a lot of her shit and I was just like "it's okay, she had a hard life, she'll get better, she'll change"... It was hidden under the surface till it was time and she got everything she wanted out of me after 10 years. This syndrome is definitely real, but with the right support, you can over come it and heal from it. You won't be perfect, but you'll get better each day or each week.
Yes, I've experienced 9 of the 10 signs during my 32 years- I thought the problem was alcoholism, but it was, but much worse. Finally leaving to restart my life after 32 years
Being in a narcissistic relationship is a lot more than it seems. It happens and you won’t even realize it. Here’s what happened to me:
Apparently, I didn’t even realize how much my partner manipulated me. I felt like shit and felt like I’m the one that’s not understanding, toxic and manipulating. Its like I felt only that person in the world will want me because I’m so bad. That led me to submit to them. I completely ignored myself and became what pleased them.
My mental health was getting worse. And somehow they made me feel that they were helping me go through tough times, when they were the reason my state got worse.
I broke down in front of them one day.
And then I realized that it’s all just a lie. They called me stupid for being so weak and completely shut me off. Ignoring me for days, and asking for an apology for being a weak worthless piece of shit. They didn’t give a shit about me, just wanted me to submit to them, and that made me question what I was doing.
Fortunately, I gathered up all my courage and decided to leave. They shed tears and told me that they didn’t mean it. It was hard, I almost submitted, but I didn’t stay.
Then, they got mad at me and said that I won’t find anyone as good as them and no one will want to be with me.
I’m glad I left. That relationship gave me trauma and I adapted self-harming behaviors. I wasted 2 years of my life with a narcissist and didn’t even realize it.
It’s very important to love yourself. Never choose others before you. You matter the most and don’t ever leave yourself for someone else. A healthy relationship is where we find ourselves and learn to love. It’s not submission and self ignorance. You’re precious and important.
So glad you're free of all the madness! Don't look back, just keep moving forward. That person who mistreated you was unworthy of you and all the love you have to give. Take good care of yourself.
I almost cried because it is very similar to what I am going through. I just don't have the courage to leave because I feel constantly exhausted & I have no one I can trust. I feel so stupid that I haven't seen this sooner, I also broke down infront of my parents and they didn't even blinked an eye. I feel so hopeless I sometimes self harm because I can't stand all of this. Glad that you made it out tho
LOL this is prime narcissism right here.
You're lucky that you only had to go through one 2-year relationship, I've been in too many relationships because I lacked self-love and they took advantage of that many times. As long as you don't continue that cycle (which it might be difficult, especially if that happened at a young age), healing should come smoothly. :)
@@AlmondJoieAww, thank you so much
@@vari4097 that's very difficult to tackle and it's alright to feel tired. We're not always strong, especially when something is constantly eating up our strength. It feels like a bucket with holes, no matter how much you try fill it, everything just slowly spills out.
I hope you get outta this asap. Takes time but I believe you can do this! You deserve so much happiness and I hope happiness finds you soon. Don't forget that you are the main character of your story and the universe is with you. Take care and stay strong
« In you taking the time to learn about narcissistic victim syndrome, you’re empowering yourself. Once you know, you can grow. »
Gosh ! You hit me on that one. 😭😭😭😭😭 I need to write this down and will read it every day. Thank you ! 🙏
My heart sank while watching this. I relate to all of this. I'm with a narcissistic abuser that leaves me traumatized that it's difficult for me to even reach out for help. I couldn't be my true self around him so I had to be whoever he wanted me to be and lost myself in the process. I cannot tell him that he's doing wrong because he'll put the blame on me, abuse me and make it worse.
@@aliciaorquin7144 leave sweetheart it’s gonna get worst if you don’t leave that’s is not love. Controling behaviors is not LOVE. That’s not a healthy relationship if your partner puts you down. He suppyto support you not make you feel bad about your self. LEAVE OR YOU GONNA JEEP GOING THRU TH SAME THINGS THE LONGER YOU STAY. And he not gonna change no matter how hard you try help or hold out hope for him to change.
Word of advice do not say you are leaving or act like you are upset by their manipulations, pretend youre still hooked and leave quietly and get support ahead of time before
Don't give up hope, because I know this is overwhelming at first realizing all this. You have already taken the first steps and there is great self love and power in that! I hope since you have commented, that you have set up new boundaries and distance from this person. Things will get better if they have not already for you, be strong and find your own inner resilience! It will happen with time, even if it hurts for a while.
I found meditation, music, art, and self reflection really helped me a whole lot. Write the thoughts out if you want, they can make you feel what you need to!
Monique, I know you wrote this comment a year ago but I want to check in and make sure you're okay. I hope you're safe now and away from the person who was abusing you. I was with someone who was like that too and my heart goes out to you. I really hope you're all right.
@Sebastian Thank you❤️ and I really do apologize that you have been put through that. I've left my partner a little over a year ago and I don't regret it. I needed a better life for me and my son and I didn't want him to think that the behaviors in that house are normal. I still do suffer from PTSD regularly, which I'm still working on. Unfortunately he still is very manipulative and believes that we are or still will be together and that's an issue. Thank you so much for checking in. I really do appreciate it
i had an abusive and alcoholic stepmother that left me with so much trauma and unstable mental state that i ended up seeking approval for another narcissistic abuser years later in my adulthood that took advantage of my vulnerability and r***ed me repeatedly. to put it lightly, this video helped verbalize a lot of the experiences i’ve felt growing up and now. and for anyone reading this today, we will heal.
Oh damn. That's harsh,I hope you're out of that relation.
I literally entered a narcissist relationship after getting out of my mom's narcissistic abuse ... And he would r*pe me also. He took my virginity (without consent) and then when we moved in together, almost every night he would r*pe me.
My ex husband went to extremes to convince me I was losing my mind. Shortly after our marriage I found out he had been sleeping with at least four of my (so called) friends. I informed him I was divorcing him. Firstly, he accused me of jealousy and paranoia. Ha! After determining He was found out he set about a gaslighting scheme. I must also add…We tried counseling but when that was a bust he got vicious. Told family and friends I was losing my mind. Told everyone I was seeing a therapist (our marriage counselor) because I was unbalanced. Hide things from me. Starting conversations with me and act like I was delusional when I countered in conversation, by saying we were never talking about that. He would sit next to me and whisper my name and when I responded he would fake concern while saying “you are hearing things again.” Another exampleI recently sold my car and saw someone driving it. I exclaimed “Hey look there is my old car!” He said, “You never owned that car. What is wrong with you?” There were so many things similar to this that he pulled but my all time favorite…he put his arm around me and whispered in my ear, “If you promise not to divorce me I will stop telling everyone you are crazy.” I was done done done with this freak. Shortly after filing for divorce I ran into his business partner in a very crowded gathering. His business partner loudly proclaimed, “I am so happy to hear you are getting mental health care.” Of course several people are now staring at me. I was shocked but quickly countered, “It’s too bad the people who truly are mentally ill don’t seek help.” He responded with, “I figured you would have a come back.” I never looked back in regret when I divorced that narcissistic mess. How ironic that a person who gaslights try’s to convince a victim they are losing their mind. Who is the really sick person in this scenario? Additionally, Here's a clue for anyone of you that think your spouse might be cheating, but you think they are just too clever to be caught, your feelings of being cheated on are not facts and your intuitions are bullshit unless you find out for sure. So before you bring your sickness and blame into the relationship get some fucking proof and some mental help consult a private investigator today Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose know where you stand in your relationship...
“If you feel like you are lacking motivation to pursue your dreams and goals, than this could be a sign of narcissistic abuse.” Woah. 😳 🤯
Is this the legacy you leave behind?? ua-cam.com/video/S5f5zKsN1DE/v-deo.html A great watch!
Accurate