"Life doesn't even make sense" .... How relatable ...I really like people who r vulnerable and say it ... I wish you can touch on the topic of people who have chronic illness/physical pain that for some people with prior trauma histories too is life changing .... and that life doesn't really make sense indeed.
Well, her directive approach is very much a function of the limited time they have both in the video and in ISTDP more generally. It's far more focused than traditional psychodynamic therapy.
I think it is amazing how courageous you have been in this series of mock therapy sessions to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of thousands of people. I have really learned alot as a result of these sessions and am thankful that MedCircle put them together. I would imagine you were quite tired after these sessions as alot of ground was covered in each one. Hope you honored that tiredness!! Thank you again
Kyle is a great client. Its so much harder for someone who has little experience of exploratory therapy. Thank you Kyle, feel a little love from a stranger. We all need that.
I agree, incredibly insightful. Referring to depression as an "ugly pet" that follows you around, and talking about "fake feelings" i.e. feelings that are a result from your depression but do not reflect reality, really resonated with me. I also think the therapist did a really good job and brought new perspectives as well as asked really good questions.
@@malinliljeblad8875 is the way he feels about depression and we gotta respect that, can we just be grateful for this man who expose himself on UA-cam just to help us to understand the therapy?
i will really recommend to everyone reading this vipassana meditation vipassana will really help u to become a happy person and remove negativity from your life..ur day to day life will become peaceful
Therapy is so interesting to me because its like its all logical conclusions I could come to on my own, but I just dont? And they ask me some basic questions and its suddenly clear. Very curious.
I think i never heard better definition of therapy 😅 that's how I feel too! And also, suddenly you so solutions on your life ... It's like taking "how could I not see this or that before!?" I'm still in my therapy, but it's so much better seeing more and more :D
Therapy asks you some obvious questions that no one else ever asked. People just usually don’t ask questions to one another… either because they don’t care, or they’re too scared to enter the other person’s space.
I think it's more about a unbiased person bringing up questions and giving you space to answer them without judgement and then asking more questions to help you process it. That is therapy in The most basic form. If you get into people that have disorders, trauma, several mental illness, etc. Therapy can look different.
This is eye-opening. Avoidance is such a strong defense mechanism that looks like strength but actually keeps us from connection and healing. Thanks for sharing this. Island living is something I am completely familiar with.
i will recommend to everyone reading this vipassana meditation..this meditation will truly help u to.become a happy person and help u to remove ur depression and anxiety from ur mind..u will notice that ur day to day life is becoming peaceful and things which were making u sad arent making u sad anymore...do surely go for vipassana..its a life changing art and a gem for humanity
I watched to the very end. Oh Kyle… how I felt the discomfort rising in me, too. Dr Lamb, thank you for sharing a new modality with us. And for bringing a part of yourself and your compassion into the room. Cannot wait for Part 2!
Cried through the entire session. Hearing the part of not wanting to be a burden, I can do it myself, pushing people away and helping others until exhaustion was like a step into my world. The awareness brought to my attention from hearing this and how we try and escape taking care of ourselves by taking care of others is the story of my life. Diagnosed with CPTSD, HIgh functioning anxiety and depression....it seems much more logical to me to navigate the world isolated than it is to burden others with these issues. Getting to the roots of the depressive episodes when it happens and unraveling that ball of hot mess is so difficult and smothered in fear. Thank you for doing these sessions, it helps to not feel alone in feeling this way and try to make sense of it all. We are strong and so very brave to love ourselves enough to look at the shadows and bring them to the light to heal. Much love to you Kyle we got this!
i will really recommend u and everyone else reading this vipassana meditation.it will really help u with ur depression and make ur life peacefull and make u a happy person...i have done it my self and it has helped me alot.u will notice ur day to day life will become more peaceful and its only the start..it helps us to remove all our negative stuff from our mind right from its roots where They arise..do surely go for it
I so appreciate getting to view this session because it all resonated with me and my experience! I just now realize to what lengths I go to to NOT BURDEN OTHERS with my crap. 😭😭😢 I have 5 siblings and Mom would pretty regularly tell is she wished she had never had children 😭 I learned early in life to stay out of the way and to be invisible in order to survive in this family. I am now 63, Mom hass passed on yet I still don't allow myself to be vulnerable with other humans. I don't form close bonds even though I need them and am so lonely!!! Thank you!!
That was intense. Love Kyle's openness. It allows us to truly gain some insight as to the value process, the conflict many people experience in therapy, and why so many are unwilling to engage in the process. There is a fine line between being strong and independent and benefiting by allowing others to support us without being codependent.
You say so well and thank you. Absolutely yes, to that fine line - feels a dance between strength and independence and letting others in to authentically benefit from help...A gift, to create a living, interdependence, of ebb and flow, which circulates and renews. Perhaps that's the transformed, 'grown up' version of co-dependence, which seems 'younger in' form, and ultimately needs to be weaning from, to grow, to mature.
A lot of people become self-sufficient because people put them down or ignore them when they want help. Or the people will ask you questions, and you give them info, and suddenly they make excuses why they can't help.
exactly .... i (like several people) when we got into serious chronic health issues didn't receive help ... that is why families are for .. but when someone doesn't have family too, then It is totally on their own. ...... these conversations are not true that, pls pls pls ask for help; there isn't help really for some people.
I like that the therapist let's u find it all out, she's just there to help u heal. Cause at the end of the day u're the only one who can heal yourself.
Dear Kyle, I think I speak for many of us when I say that I am so thankful to you for putting yourself out there so your viewers can learn grow and connect as a community. You make folks feel seen and heard by just being your authentic self. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your journey.. thank you for all that you do. Also damn, homegirl was really pushing it at the end there..def felt that aggravation with you. Dr. Lamb is clearly very skilled and I am thankful to see this form of therapy in action. Not sure that I would connect with her personally but I appreciate the messages being conveyed here. Can't wait for part II. Take Care
She’s pretty good. I think if she’d allowed the session to be twice as long, he would have experienced more meaningful revelations about himself and ways of dealing with it. The only way to cross barriers is to uncover feelings, but you can do that by yourself, at your own pace, where taught how and often come up with deeper revelations. It may be that he wasn’t often given the time to process things growing up and in life due to others’ demands and granting himself that space is actually, sometimes healthy, but also granting himself time with others is healthy.Realizing he deserves just as much or more than he grants others would be a great door opener for releasing the strict structure he has condemned himself to. A lot of us are often taught in indirect and direct ways not to take up very much space, so we habitually never give ourselves enough space.
Your vulnerability and your openness to your baggage helps us all.....please continue....you are seriously helping so many say "OMG I react the same way....I could use therapy". Thank you.
For people who might not know, this doctor was everything and did most of this model correctly. My biggest issue was that at the end she was pushing him into the peak of intrapsychic crisis and she really actually had him about 70% there, but then had to leave. I understand why she was so concerned at the end for him because she knows that this might cause a transference neuroses if not dealt with. This therapy model can be dangerous if everything doesn’t go well. I wish we had another ten minutes with Kyle to see his true impulses come out.
This was fascinating to observe. Excellent use of directive listening and confrontation. She is clearly skilled in navigating the nuances of the therapeutic relationship, and how to utilize immediacy to highlight the suppression of his emotions and active withdrawal in session.
This therapist is GOOD!! she is pushing when she has noticed an issue, she is respectful but also knows there is pushback and when there is pushback it needs to be explored. I really really like her. I'd love to have her as my therapist as therapy isn't mambo pamby and flowers it has to hit nerves else there is no exploration. I so wish kyle had been able to answer what his feelings really were as I know someone close who is exactly like this and I'd love have more insight. Well done Kyle but wish we could have gone that extra bit 😊😊
this is the type of therapist i seek , she is curious and compassionate - this was an example of a real human exchange in a therapeutic context that kept the healing and progress of the patient at the center and not, just play acting being a therapist. thank you Dr. Lamb
Wow. That session felt intense for me as I sat here at home and watched it. Thank you so much for making yourself vulnerable and for sharing with us. This seems like a really good doc!
This woman's face says "empathy." And goddamn, she is so insightful!! She can see when clients attack themselves, and she intervenes to question that thought process!!
I'm crying my heart now..same story..pushed people away because I don't want to be a burden, self-sufficient, independent... live hundreds of miles away from my family..the needs to be taken care of crushed by my expectations that I should know how to take care if myself..love you Kyle and Dr. Lamb
A year later..... dang Kyle!! Thank you for doing this. It really touched me. It clearly wasn't easy and you hung in there. Your vulnerability has helped tons of us dig deeper into our own emotions and redirect our paths towards healing. THANK YOU!
Such a good session to watch. Thank you Kyle for being such an engaging client and to Dr. Lamb for her awesomeness. ISTDP is a wonderful framework - challenging, intimate and can rip the lid off of decades of pathology so quickly and so thoroughly. I can't wait to see the recap!
Hey Kyle! I just finished watching the entire video and I am overwhelmed!!! By your openness - for being out there….there was so much that I could relate to….thank you so much for all the wonderful work that you and MedCircle are doing!!! Due to the time difference (I am in India) I may not be able to attend the sessions live but I look forward to the videos!!!
Also- "what's it like to just notice that?" such a beautiful question- I want to work to use that more with my patients. Also Dr Lamb, great identification of internal system functionality and parts that make up inner workings. I would take this and explore the "I have to do it all myself" part and do some IFS work from there. I really think you should try IFS Kyle.
I made it through the entire video. I want to give a thanks to everyone involved who put that together especially you. That was very courageous! I'm a therapist myself and it was comforting and educational to see this session take place.
I love everything about this. Kyle is of course so smart and brave as an anchor. But, Dr. Lamb too is so intelligent that I'm fawning! As bad as I feel for Kyle being in that place, Dr. Lamb was so professional and really brought the intensity that the technique requires to show us what it involves. And for this, I'm grateful. Thanks so much to Dr. Lamb, Kyle both!
Thank you Kyle. This was so very informative. I am 79yo and have been in therapy since about my late 20's. Over the years, I was able to piece together that I had been sexually abused by my father beginning when I was an infant. I also pieced tog that my mother had emotionally neglected me, likely due to her not being able to deal with what was happening to me. What I want to bring attention to is the fact that my abuse began when I was so young. One of the things I became deeply interested in during my years of therapy was UA-cam vids about infants in hospitals being bathed soon after birth and how extremely upset they became. I felt very sorry when nurses or parents didn't take the infants screaming and hysteria seriously. From the videos of newborns being upset by being bathed, I went on to question what must it do to infant boys being circumcised soon after birth and their terror and pain being ignored even by those they depended upon. I think circumcision is barbaric but perhaps you did not experience circumcision.
I really identified with what you said about being "fake feelings" when you are depressed, I've never received help and I am 42 years old, I put everyone first. When people ask "how are you"? I always say I'm fine when actually I have a thousand things going on in my head. I made my appointment im going to get help. The last part was a little confusing I think you were very open. Thank you for sharing.
I felt that when she kept asking you Kyle how do you‘feel’ about this and more specifically her, and you wanting to continue the process alone…could it be that deep down you don’t want to be a burden even to a therapist? You don’t want to make her feel your sadness, your isolation etc because you feel it’s too much for her so again caretaking what she can handle, caretaking to save her from being weighed down by your ‘pain’? Instead of allowing her to take responsibility for her own well-being, choices and responses? 🤷🏼♀️
Kyle didn't say to his best friend because I guess he knows in his heart that he won't help (maybe I m wrong; I m not him) ... but I normally dont ask for help because I know they won't help. ....... About the therapist: I think she rushed to finish; made him comfortable. Also she pushed him a lot to answer her question ....
As a therapist, nothing itches me more than listening to someone say “I’ve tried so many therapists and the issue is still there”. Kyle is my dream patient 😊
I landed at this amazing and genuine video as I am starting my training in ISTDP therapy (I am a psychologist). I watched this very carefully and paused to better process the procedure and I thorougly enjoyed it. This video is awesome because I think, Kyle you are greatly equipped mentally and emotionally to engage in therapy and because Dr. Lamb is a great role model of a therapist for me! Thank you so much for this! I am really grateful!!
Can't wait for part 2, this was really excellent!! I wish classical psychodynamic therapists would take some insight from this modern short term approach.
Kyle is so amazing 🤩 my birthday is in April 🎂 too! ❤️ Sending hugs 🤗 to Kyle. Your depression is not an ugly pet to me, it’s part of you that needs healing and I look at it as your journey and it appears beautiful not ugly to me. Not to invalidate how you feel at all.
This was very hard to watch til the end. It reminded me so much of my own experience with my therapist. It was wild. Im appreciative of you doing this. I could not EVER do what you have done. Thanks again!
It took me awhile to open up to her. And I mean a long time. I dont know what I would do without her now. My very first therapist and I cant imagine opening up to someone else.
I feel you Kyle on the “what are you feeling” question. I was cringing. My counselor will ask me this but not nearly as repetitively and because she knows me she knows sometimes I need help figuring out what emotion is prevalent. I even have a notebook that has a list of categorized emotions to reference when I need it. And not because I don’t feel, or don’t know that I do have emotions but because I just never had the words to dig deeper into them. Just wanted to say, I can empathize.
Even at the end, Kyle keeps her at a distance when she asks if they can recap at the end of the session, and he say, "no, I'm good.." and then "Now I'm in my thoughts." Still keeping her out and never did honestly answer her question about what he was feeling toward her, even though she asked it multiple times. Great video, and good job Kyle. It's not easy to be vulnerable, talk about your struggles (on video, no less), and also sort of maintain "the space" of also hosting the show. Those can't be easy jumps to make. Thank you for being willing to demonstrate this! You deserve a huge hug (but only if you want one).
So many times I've gone to therapy with one foot in one foot out , she really explored that process , being in the present moment . Thx for sharing this :):):)
Thank you 🙏 this has been so helpful for me. Been with my boyfriend for 11 years now. He’s diagnosis with depression anxiety ADHD and he’s got type two diabetes about all his life. He’s 63 and I’m 53. It’s been so hard for me. All your videos has been so helpful..
I made it all the way through. I could have easily listened to more. I could relate in what you were saying and Dr. Lamb's questions for you to answer. I wonder that one reason why I want to "look after my friend's " and being there for them is a way that I can avoid looking at myself in an honest and truthful way.
Amazing. ISTDP is quite guarded online, so great to see if in action and with such a fantastic client. Therapy is about an experience, not an explanation.
Lol Kyle... I felt your psychic "GO AWAY! "... Well done... made me think how often I closed down a therapust.... it was a real doorknob ending as we say in the trade.
Im hearing Kyle describe a classic INFJ struggle in therapy -trying to access & process introverted feeling with a therapist. INFJ’s access introverted feelings function when alone -no stimulus -this allows INFJ’s to tune into their own feelings. When an INFJ is with others - others states are felt and that shuts down or silences introverted feeling. When put on the spot and asked to access FEELings…it’s frustrating and feels impossible. Kyles responses reveal his inward dialogue are “thoughts” even when the therapist continues to ask him for a feeling response. He’s using introverted thinking…responding with his inward thoughts which he has access to. So, I’m super curious if Kyle’s result for MBTI would be INFJ. Thankful for this helpful session. I ❤️MedO
I was on medications for 20 plus years. Going thru exactly as he is describing . It's a visions cycle . My doctor introduced me to the Alpha Stim. She prescribed me the device. It was a God send!!!!! You can only get it in the United States by prescription. I have been off my meds for 10 years now . I hardly have to use it. I do use it when my anxiety kicks in. It only takes a few minutes and it takes care of it. Lost 30 pounds getting off the antidepressants. !! Haven't had therapy since. Just thought I would share.!!!
Im really glad i came across this video specifically bcuz it felt like a real representation of the uncomfortable parts of a therapy session, which is something i've been dreading specially that ill be having my first ever therapy session soon. Now i feel like im a little more prepared for what might happen This was great♥️
I thoroughly enjoyed this video from beginning to end and related so much to it. I used some of the "aha moments" from this video in my own journal entry for myself. This truly was helpful. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this experience. You are not alone. This realization is one I came to after a 2 year long depression of hell. It was amazing to hear someone's sessions be so similar to my own.
I’ve been in this type of therapy. There’s this big focus on asking the client to identify feelings toward the therapist and the therapist is often trying to get the client to admit anger toward the therapist, with the explanation that this gets in the way of connecting with the therapist. In this video we see Kyle struggling to identify his feelings toward her and he later says he feels aggravated and frustrated that she keeps asking the same question. So I wonder, could it be just that? Frustration and perhaps anger at the therapist’s insistence that he must have negative feelings toward her and not an example of Kyle’s defense about letting the therapist get close to him? I myself got into the habit of pleasing the therapist by admitting feelings toward her, which I am not even sure were honest feelings. But this was as a result of the therapist’s constant habit of asking about feelings toward her. In the end, it was the admittance of those feelings that got her to terminate with me. I still find that very ironic… and painful.
Wow , this was super eye opening . Raw . Thanks for sharing this vulnerable piece with us Kyle . I truly identify where you said you needed to go “ think 🤔 “ about this for awhile …. while you are unraveling your thoughts with the incredible Dr.Lamb .
You've mentioned your empathic and me being empathetic I too suffer from depression and I've learned that it stems from everyone's emotions around me without knowing it but learning and knowing it's ok to turn it off makes a huge difference.....lol u mentioned it 3 seconds after my post
This made me cry bc I can so relate. I push people away as well. I push people away bc there’s a fear if I let you in too closely then there will be potential cycle of chaos and dependency and that will end in a sudden lost
Love your invite, Kyle - yes, made it to the end, and learned something about myself. I'm another 'I'm good' person who has spent much time on the island, for better and for worse. That got really clear in this video, along with wanting to look at that more clearly and exercise choice about when to be and when not to be on the island. Thanks!
Kyle's a good sport. Yeah, I'm just going to take this to my island so I can think about it...when no one else is around I feel a sense of freedom to process through things in my own time and feel my feelings. I cannot tell you how many sessions of therapy have not been perceived as fruitful because I thought I had more insight than the therapist did.
I took Prozac for a year at a low dose, stopped taking it 127 days ago, and I still have withdrawals symptoms. The withdrawal from Prozac made me significantly worse off than I have ever felt. I should have tapered over several months not ten days.
Hi Kyle, thank you for being so open to share this with us. You are a beautiful soul and I hope you are rewarded with the kindness you deserve. The therapist was obviously very good and I hope you've continued working with her; she's amazing. Hope Kalley is helping - my own Lab, Bella, is a major help with my depression and other issues. If you're ever in Toronto, would be great to meet. Warm hugs!
I knew right away that she was trying to get a reaction out of you. She was basically saying "Project onto me what you're feeling" because you were starting to withdrawal. Your behavior was like a hermit crab going into its shell. My initial thought was anger is going to come uo because that's what was being avoided. I think a lot of people are afraid to be angry and they avoid their big emotions by withdrawing from others, even if it will benefit you to express them in a controlled and safe place. I want to watch part 2 because that was so powerful!!❤
Kyle you were so brave, thanks à lot. That must has been hard, you are a men. This was the definition of bravery. Helps a lot. Whatever you going through, you got this !
Okay so like I've found out from videos he is literally the guy version of myself it's scary so this 3 part is literally me viewing my own problems and reactions from a 3rd party point if view and its incredibly eye opening and life changing so thank you
“There’s a part of you that really wanted to make sure that there was no opportunity for him to take care of you… to support you. You needed in that moment to take care of him.” That hit me hard….
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"Life doesn't even make sense" .... How relatable ...I really like people who r vulnerable and say it ... I wish you can touch on the topic of people who have chronic illness/physical pain that for some people with prior trauma histories too is life changing .... and that life doesn't really make sense indeed.
I think you should be happy, because you deserve to be happy.
I can relate to not accepting others' care. That is a real issue.
Is Kyle a Taurus? Previously commented Virgo but that was a mistake
That was absolutely A lesson to spread awareness about mental health !
I love how this therapist is humble and actively engages versus just listening. Kyle, thank you for your openness and courage.
Well, her directive approach is very much a function of the limited time they have both in the video and in ISTDP more generally. It's far more focused than traditional psychodynamic therapy.
I think it is amazing how courageous you have been in this series of mock therapy sessions to allow yourself to be vulnerable in front of thousands of people. I have really learned alot as a result of these sessions and am thankful that MedCircle put them together. I would imagine you were quite tired after these sessions as alot of ground was covered in each one. Hope you honored that tiredness!! Thank you again
Kyle is a great client. Its so much harder for someone who has little experience of exploratory therapy.
Thank you Kyle, feel a little love from a stranger. We all need that.
I agree, incredibly insightful. Referring to depression as an "ugly pet" that follows you around, and talking about "fake feelings" i.e. feelings that are a result from your depression but do not reflect reality, really resonated with me. I also think the therapist did a really good job and brought new perspectives as well as asked really good questions.
@@malinliljeblad8875 is the way he feels about depression and we gotta respect that, can we just be grateful for this man who expose himself on UA-cam just to help us to understand the therapy?
i will really recommend to everyone reading this vipassana meditation
vipassana will really help u to become a happy person and remove negativity from your life..ur day to day life will become peaceful
there are many vipassana meditation centers around the world
find one near your area and apply for a 10 day course
type vipassana meditation on the internet and their website will come
Therapy is so interesting to me because its like its all logical conclusions I could come to on my own, but I just dont? And they ask me some basic questions and its suddenly clear. Very curious.
I think i never heard better definition of therapy 😅 that's how I feel too! And also, suddenly you so solutions on your life ... It's like taking "how could I not see this or that before!?" I'm still in my therapy, but it's so much better seeing more and more :D
Therapy asks you some obvious questions that no one else ever asked. People just usually don’t ask questions to one another… either because they don’t care, or they’re too scared to enter the other person’s space.
I think it's more about a unbiased person bringing up questions and giving you space to answer them without judgement and then asking more questions to help you process it. That is therapy in The most basic form. If you get into people that have disorders, trauma, several mental illness, etc. Therapy can look different.
it’s a substitute for a “wise friend”
This is eye-opening. Avoidance is such a strong defense mechanism that looks like strength but actually keeps us from connection and healing. Thanks for sharing this. Island living is something I am completely familiar with.
Isn't it hough, I cannot on net with with a family member as everything is avoidance. They don't seem to understand that intimacy requires openness 😊
i will recommend to everyone reading this vipassana meditation..this meditation will truly help u to.become a happy person and help u to remove ur depression and anxiety from ur mind..u will notice that ur day to day life is becoming peaceful and things which were making u sad arent making u sad anymore...do surely go for vipassana..its a life changing art and a gem for humanity
there are many vipassana meditation centers around the world
find one near your area and apply for a 10 day vipassana course
type vipassana meditation on the internet and their website will come
I watched to the very end. Oh Kyle… how I felt the discomfort rising in me, too.
Dr Lamb, thank you for sharing a new modality with us. And for bringing a part of yourself and your compassion into the room.
Cannot wait for Part 2!
Cried through the entire session. Hearing the part of not wanting to be a burden, I can do it myself, pushing people away and helping others until exhaustion was like a step into my world. The awareness brought to my attention from hearing this and how we try and escape taking care of ourselves by taking care of others is the story of my life. Diagnosed with CPTSD, HIgh functioning anxiety and depression....it seems much more logical to me to navigate the world isolated than it is to burden others with these issues. Getting to the roots of the depressive episodes when it happens and unraveling that ball of hot mess is so difficult and smothered in fear. Thank you for doing these sessions, it helps to not feel alone in feeling this way and try to make sense of it all. We are strong and so very brave to love ourselves enough to look at the shadows and bring them to the light to heal. Much love to you Kyle we got this!
i will really recommend u and everyone else reading this vipassana meditation.it will really help u with ur depression and make ur life peacefull and make u a happy person...i have done it my self and it has helped me alot.u will notice ur day to day life will become more peaceful and its only the start..it helps us to remove all our negative stuff from our mind right from its roots where They arise..do surely go for it
there are many vipassana meditation centers around the world
find one near your area and apply for a 10 day vipassana course
type vipassana meditation on the internet and thier website will come
I so appreciate getting to view this session because it all resonated with me and my experience! I just now realize to what lengths I go to to NOT BURDEN OTHERS with my crap. 😭😭😢 I have 5 siblings and Mom would pretty regularly tell is she wished she had never had children 😭 I learned early in life to stay out of the way and to be invisible in order to survive in this family. I am now 63, Mom hass passed on yet I still don't allow myself to be vulnerable with other humans. I don't form close bonds even though I need them and am so lonely!!! Thank you!!
For C-PTSD, check out Tim Fletcher's UA-cam videos. His series on Re-Parenting is especially enlightening.
There was so much I could relate to that I felt like I had just gone through my own therapy session.
Me too
That was intense. Love Kyle's openness. It allows us to truly gain some insight as to the value process, the conflict many people experience in therapy, and why so many are unwilling to engage in the process. There is a fine line between being strong and independent and benefiting by allowing others to support us without being codependent.
You say so well and thank you. Absolutely yes, to that fine line - feels a dance between strength and independence and letting others in to authentically benefit from help...A gift, to create a living, interdependence, of ebb and flow, which circulates and renews. Perhaps that's the transformed, 'grown up' version of co-dependence, which seems 'younger in' form, and ultimately needs to be weaning from, to grow, to mature.
A lot of people become self-sufficient because people put them down or ignore them when they want help. Or the people will ask you questions, and you give them info, and suddenly they make excuses why they can't help.
exactly .... i (like several people) when we got into serious chronic health issues didn't receive help ... that is why families are for .. but when someone doesn't have family too, then It is totally on their own. ...... these conversations are not true that, pls pls pls ask for help; there isn't help really for some people.
I like that the therapist let's u find it all out, she's just there to help u heal. Cause at the end of the day u're the only one who can heal yourself.
Dear Kyle, I think I speak for many of us when I say that I am so thankful to you for putting yourself out there so your viewers can learn grow and connect as a community. You make folks feel seen and heard by just being your authentic self. Thank you for allowing us to be a part of your journey.. thank you for all that you do. Also damn, homegirl was really pushing it at the end there..def felt that aggravation with you. Dr. Lamb is clearly very skilled and I am thankful to see this form of therapy in action. Not sure that I would connect with her personally but I appreciate the messages being conveyed here. Can't wait for part II. Take Care
She’s pretty good. I think if she’d allowed the session to be twice as long, he would have experienced more meaningful revelations about himself and ways of dealing with it. The only way to cross barriers is to uncover feelings, but you can do that by yourself, at your own pace, where taught how and often come up with deeper revelations. It may be that he wasn’t often given the time to process things growing up and in life due to others’ demands and granting himself that space is actually, sometimes healthy, but also granting himself time with others is healthy.Realizing he deserves just as much or more than he grants others would be a great door opener for releasing the strict structure he has condemned himself to. A lot of us are often taught in indirect and direct ways not to take up very much space, so we habitually never give ourselves enough space.
Dr Lamb is such a brilliant therapist.
This is what empaths look and sound like. I feel for such mental health professionals. They give so much of themselves to those in need.
Your vulnerability and your openness to your baggage helps us all.....please continue....you are seriously helping so many say "OMG I react the same way....I could use therapy". Thank you.
For people who might not know, this doctor was everything and did most of this model correctly. My biggest issue was that at the end she was pushing him into the peak of intrapsychic crisis and she really actually had him about 70% there, but then had to leave. I understand why she was so concerned at the end for him because she knows that this might cause a transference neuroses if not dealt with. This therapy model can be dangerous if everything doesn’t go well. I wish we had another ten minutes with Kyle to see his true impulses come out.
This was fascinating to observe. Excellent use of directive listening and confrontation. She is clearly skilled in navigating the nuances of the therapeutic relationship, and how to utilize immediacy to highlight the suppression of his emotions and active withdrawal in session.
I watched the entire video! This therapist is very skilled. Thank you for sharing so much of your "genuiness".
Is that sarcasm?
This therapist is GOOD!! she is pushing when she has noticed an issue, she is respectful but also knows there is pushback and when there is pushback it needs to be explored. I really really like her. I'd love to have her as my therapist as therapy isn't mambo pamby and flowers it has to hit nerves else there is no exploration. I so wish kyle had been able to answer what his feelings really were as I know someone close who is exactly like this and I'd love have more insight. Well done Kyle but wish we could have gone that extra bit 😊😊
this is the type of therapist i seek , she is curious and compassionate - this was an example of a real human exchange in a therapeutic context that kept the healing and progress of the patient at the center and not, just play acting being a therapist. thank you Dr. Lamb
Wow. That session felt intense for me as I sat here at home and watched it. Thank you so much for making yourself vulnerable and for sharing with us. This seems like a really good doc!
This woman's face says "empathy." And goddamn, she is so insightful!! She can see when clients attack themselves, and she intervenes to question that thought process!!
You're doing so great Kyle!
I'm crying my heart now..same story..pushed people away because I don't want to be a burden, self-sufficient, independent... live hundreds of miles away from my family..the needs to be taken care of crushed by my expectations that I should know how to take care if myself..love you Kyle and Dr. Lamb
A year later..... dang Kyle!! Thank you for doing this. It really touched me. It clearly wasn't easy and you hung in there. Your vulnerability has helped tons of us dig deeper into our own emotions and redirect our paths towards healing. THANK YOU!
Kyle, thank you for how vulnerable you're being. Your bravery is remarkable.
Such a good session to watch. Thank you Kyle for being such an engaging client and to Dr. Lamb for her awesomeness. ISTDP is a wonderful framework - challenging, intimate and can rip the lid off of decades of pathology so quickly and so thoroughly. I can't wait to see the recap!
Hey Kyle! I just finished watching the entire video and I am overwhelmed!!! By your openness - for being out there….there was so much that I could relate to….thank you so much for all the wonderful work that you and MedCircle are doing!!! Due to the time difference (I am in India) I may not be able to attend the sessions live but I look forward to the videos!!!
Also- "what's it like to just notice that?" such a beautiful question- I want to work to use that more with my patients. Also Dr Lamb, great identification of internal system functionality and parts that make up inner workings. I would take this and explore the "I have to do it all myself" part and do some IFS work from there. I really think you should try IFS Kyle.
Can’t wait for the next session on ISTDP. I’m a huge fan of this approach and rarely get to see it practised so thank you.
At last a real and provoking session in youtube, no marketing, no cuts, wonderfull!
I made it through the entire video. I want to give a thanks to everyone involved who put that together especially you. That was very courageous! I'm a therapist myself and it was comforting and educational to see this session take place.
I watched the whole thing. Thanks for being willing to share a part of yourself for the benefit of others
I love everything about this. Kyle is of course so smart and brave as an anchor. But, Dr. Lamb too is so intelligent that I'm fawning! As bad as I feel for Kyle being in that place, Dr. Lamb was so professional and really brought the intensity that the technique requires to show us what it involves. And for this, I'm grateful. Thanks so much to Dr. Lamb, Kyle both!
I say this from the bottom of my heart. You are an amazing, inspiring human being, Kyle. Thank you.
Thank you Kyle. After watching this session, I realized I was avoiding getting help, then I decided to take action.
Thank you Kyle. This was so very informative. I am 79yo and have been in therapy since about my late 20's. Over the years, I was able to piece together that I had been sexually abused by my father beginning when I was an infant. I also pieced tog that my mother had emotionally neglected me, likely due to her not being able to deal with what was happening to me. What I want to bring attention to is the fact that my abuse began when I was so young. One of the things I became deeply interested in during my years of therapy was UA-cam vids about infants in hospitals being bathed soon after birth and how extremely upset they became. I felt very sorry when nurses or parents didn't take the infants screaming and hysteria seriously. From the videos of newborns being upset by being bathed, I went on to question what must it do to infant boys being circumcised soon after birth and their terror and pain being ignored even by those they depended upon. I think circumcision is barbaric but perhaps you did not experience circumcision.
So brave of you. Thanks for helping us all gain insight into the process. 🙋🏻♀️
Must be very hard for him to have it since 9-year-old and very brave of him to open himself up to do these sessions. Highly appreciated. ❤️❤️
i loved this video and how brave you are. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability not only with the therapist, but with others in need of help.
That was simply amazing... Thank you soooo much for sharing this with us... I become aware of things about myself with you
I really identified with what you said about being "fake feelings" when you are depressed, I've never received help and I am 42 years old, I put everyone first. When people ask "how are you"? I always say I'm fine when actually I have a thousand things going on in my head. I made my appointment im going to get help. The last part was a little confusing I think you were very open. Thank you for sharing.
Made it! I love how transparent these sessions are. We'll done!
Thank you for this. I was always very fearful of going to therapy and this is seriously making me reconsider. I think I'll go. thank you
I felt that when she kept asking you Kyle how do you‘feel’ about this and more specifically her, and you wanting to continue the process alone…could it be that deep down you don’t want to be a burden even to a therapist? You don’t want to make her feel your sadness, your isolation etc because you feel it’s too much for her so again caretaking what she can handle, caretaking to save her from being weighed down by your ‘pain’? Instead of allowing her to take responsibility for her own well-being, choices and responses? 🤷🏼♀️
Wow... Good point..
the serotonin depletes it never stays at a high level
Oh! I need to look at that why am I in relationships where everyone is dependent and reliant on me. Ouch!!
Kyle didn't say to his best friend because I guess he knows in his heart that he won't help (maybe I m wrong; I m not him) ... but I normally dont ask for help because I know they won't help. ....... About the therapist: I think she rushed to finish; made him comfortable. Also she pushed him a lot to answer her question ....
As a therapist, nothing itches me more than listening to someone say “I’ve tried so many therapists and the issue is still there”. Kyle is my dream patient 😊
That being said, having watched the entire video, I think she did a pretty good job.
I landed at this amazing and genuine video as I am starting my training in ISTDP therapy (I am a psychologist). I watched this very carefully and paused to better process the procedure and I thorougly enjoyed it. This video is awesome because I think, Kyle you are greatly equipped mentally and emotionally to engage in therapy and because Dr. Lamb is a great role model of a therapist for me! Thank you so much for this! I am really grateful!!
Can't wait for part 2, this was really excellent!! I wish classical psychodynamic therapists would take some insight from this modern short term approach.
Kyle is so amazing 🤩 my birthday is in April 🎂 too! ❤️ Sending hugs 🤗 to Kyle. Your depression is not an ugly pet to me, it’s part of you that needs healing and I look at it as your journey and it appears beautiful not ugly to me. Not to invalidate how you feel at all.
This was very hard to watch til the end. It reminded me so much of my own experience with my therapist. It was wild. Im appreciative of you doing this. I could not EVER do what you have done. Thanks again!
I'm assuming your experience with your therapist was not very pleasant?
It took me awhile to open up to her. And I mean a long time. I dont know what I would do without her now. My very first therapist and I cant imagine opening up to someone else.
@@wendyelston2025 oh I see. Well glad to hear it!
I feel you Kyle on the “what are you feeling” question. I was cringing. My counselor will ask me this but not nearly as repetitively and because she knows me she knows sometimes I need help figuring out what emotion is prevalent. I even have a notebook that has a list of categorized emotions to reference when I need it. And not because I don’t feel, or don’t know that I do have emotions but because I just never had the words to dig deeper into them. Just wanted to say, I can empathize.
I really relate to Kyle whether it’s the self-reliance part or pushing people away whilst still craving connection.
Even at the end, Kyle keeps her at a distance when she asks if they can recap at the end of the session, and he say, "no, I'm good.." and then "Now I'm in my thoughts." Still keeping her out and never did honestly answer her question about what he was feeling toward her, even though she asked it multiple times.
Great video, and good job Kyle. It's not easy to be vulnerable, talk about your struggles (on video, no less), and also sort of maintain "the space" of also hosting the show. Those can't be easy jumps to make.
Thank you for being willing to demonstrate this! You deserve a huge hug (but only if you want one).
So many times I've gone to therapy with one foot in one foot out , she really explored that process , being in the present moment . Thx for sharing this :):):)
Thank you 🙏 this has been so helpful for me. Been with my boyfriend for 11 years now. He’s diagnosis with depression anxiety ADHD and he’s got type two diabetes about all his life. He’s 63 and I’m 53. It’s been so hard for me. All your videos has been so helpful..
I am crying and watching the clip, she is good, and I never heard it put this way before , “pushing away”
Thank you for your transparency. You help me take away another piece of my puzzle.
I just learned about ISTDP. This was a great video! Thank you to those who participated and posted this.
I made it all the way through. I could have easily listened to more. I could relate in what you were saying and Dr. Lamb's questions for you to answer. I wonder that one reason why I want to "look after my friend's " and being there for them is a way that I can avoid looking at myself in an honest and truthful way.
Amazing. ISTDP is quite guarded online, so great to see if in action and with such a fantastic client. Therapy is about an experience, not an explanation.
Ugh, it me 😭 Kyle I couldn’t do what you’re doing on here! I felt so so frustrated. Thanks for showing us and helping us grow, too.
Lol Kyle... I felt your psychic "GO AWAY! "... Well done... made me think how often I closed down a therapust.... it was a real doorknob ending as we say in the trade.
Im hearing Kyle describe a classic INFJ struggle in therapy -trying to access & process introverted feeling with a therapist. INFJ’s access introverted feelings function when alone -no stimulus -this allows INFJ’s to tune into their own feelings. When an INFJ is with others - others states are felt and that shuts down or silences introverted feeling. When put on the spot and asked to access FEELings…it’s frustrating and feels impossible. Kyles responses reveal his inward dialogue are “thoughts” even when the therapist continues to ask him for a feeling response. He’s using introverted thinking…responding with his inward thoughts which he has access to. So, I’m super curious if Kyle’s result for MBTI would be INFJ. Thankful for this helpful session. I ❤️MedO
Whoa, this was so good. Really looking forward to part 2!
Love the video and your authenticity! ❤️❤️❤️
I was on medications for 20 plus years. Going thru exactly as he is describing . It's a visions cycle . My doctor introduced me to the Alpha Stim. She prescribed me the device. It was a God send!!!!! You can only get it in the United States by prescription. I have been off my meds for 10 years now . I hardly have to use it. I do use it when my anxiety kicks in. It only takes a few minutes and it takes care of it. Lost 30 pounds getting off the antidepressants. !! Haven't had therapy since. Just thought I would share.!!!
You can get it online it looks like.
that was an amazing and intense session. Thanks Kyle so much for ur willingness to go through with this process for all of us to share and learn
very educational for ISTDP students! thank youuu
Im really glad i came across this video specifically bcuz it felt like a real representation of the uncomfortable parts of a therapy session, which is something i've been dreading specially that ill be having my first ever therapy session soon. Now i feel like im a little more prepared for what might happen
This was great♥️
I thoroughly enjoyed this video from beginning to end and related so much to it. I used some of the "aha moments" from this video in my own journal entry for myself. This truly was helpful. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this experience. You are not alone. This realization is one I came to after a 2 year long depression of hell. It was amazing to hear someone's sessions be so similar to my own.
Made it to the end. Interesting session. She was thorough to reveal that there was some distance in Kyle towards everyone, including her.
I’ve been in this type of therapy. There’s this big focus on asking the client to identify feelings toward the therapist and the therapist is often trying to get the client to admit anger toward the therapist, with the explanation that this gets in the way of connecting with the therapist. In this video we see Kyle struggling to identify his feelings toward her and he later says he feels aggravated and frustrated that she keeps asking the same question. So I wonder, could it be just that? Frustration and perhaps anger at the therapist’s insistence that he must have negative feelings toward her and not an example of Kyle’s defense about letting the therapist get close to him? I myself got into the habit of pleasing the therapist by admitting feelings toward her, which I am not even sure were honest feelings. But this was as a result of the therapist’s constant habit of asking about feelings toward her. In the end, it was the admittance of those feelings that got her to terminate with me. I still find that very ironic… and painful.
That was grest. Thank you for being so open in such a public way!
Wow , this was super eye opening .
Raw . Thanks for sharing this vulnerable piece with us Kyle . I truly identify where you said you needed to go “ think 🤔 “ about this for awhile …. while you are unraveling your thoughts with the incredible Dr.Lamb .
That was amazing. Kyle, thank you for your vulnerability, and Dr. Lamb for your skill and kindness.
You've mentioned your empathic and me being empathetic I too suffer from depression and I've learned that it stems from everyone's emotions around me without knowing it but learning and knowing it's ok to turn it off makes a huge difference.....lol u mentioned it 3 seconds after my post
OMG, what an eye opener! "Island living" resonated with me - I've just realised I do it all the time :(
This made me cry bc I can so relate. I push people away as well. I push people away bc there’s a fear if I let you in too closely then there will be potential cycle of chaos and dependency and that will end in a sudden lost
Love your invite, Kyle - yes, made it to the end, and learned something about myself. I'm another 'I'm good' person who has spent much time on the island, for better and for worse. That got really clear in this video, along with wanting to look at that more clearly and exercise choice about when to be and when not to be on the island. Thanks!
Kyle's a good sport. Yeah, I'm just going to take this to my island so I can think about it...when no one else is around I feel a sense of freedom to process through things in my own time and feel my feelings. I cannot tell you how many sessions of therapy have not been perceived as fruitful because I thought I had more insight than the therapist did.
Ditto
I took Prozac for a year at a low dose, stopped taking it 127 days ago, and I still have withdrawals symptoms. The withdrawal from Prozac made me significantly worse off than I have ever felt. I should have tapered over several months not ten days.
Hi Kyle, thank you for being so open to share this with us. You are a beautiful soul and I hope you are rewarded with the kindness you deserve. The therapist was obviously very good and I hope you've continued working with her; she's amazing. Hope Kalley is helping - my own Lab, Bella, is a major help with my depression and other issues. If you're ever in Toronto, would be great to meet. Warm hugs!
I knew right away that she was trying to get a reaction out of you. She was basically saying "Project onto me what you're feeling" because you were starting to withdrawal. Your behavior was like a hermit crab going into its shell. My initial thought was anger is going to come uo because that's what was being avoided. I think a lot of people are afraid to be angry and they avoid their big emotions by withdrawing from others, even if it will benefit you to express them in a controlled and safe place. I want to watch part 2 because that was so powerful!!❤
Kyle you were so brave, thanks à lot.
That must has been hard, you are a men. This was the definition of bravery. Helps a lot.
Whatever you going through, you got this !
Please go again and get this sorted out..it's okej to feel sceard of shairing your deepest self...👌
You made me cry
I’m one who sincerely enjoys exploring through therapy ☺️
Okay so like I've found out from videos he is literally the guy version of myself it's scary so this 3 part is literally me viewing my own problems and reactions from a 3rd party point if view and its incredibly eye opening and life changing so thank you
0:51 text at lower left: Dr Kristy Lamb, Double Board Certified in Psychiatry and Family Medicine..... Then: Kyle Kittleson, Mock "Patient."
Wow, this is so relatable. Thanks for being so open with us, Kyle! Dr. Lam, you're excellent!
She is overwhelmingly. Kyle was good about keeping his cool. Thank you for sharing.
“There’s a part of you that really wanted to make sure that there was no opportunity for him to take care of you… to support you. You needed in that moment to take care of him.”
That hit me hard….
This sounds so familiar. Appreciate both for this exploration. There is certainly no mock in this therapy.
Made it all the way through. Researching a role as a Dr. in therapy.