Relationship Obsessive-compulsive Disorder (ROCD): Tormenting Doubts re: Partners and Relationships

"ROCD includes two common presentations: relationship-centered and partner-focused obsessive compulsive symptoms.
People with relationship-centered obsessions often feel overwhelmed by doubts and worries focused on their feelings towards their partner, their partner’s feelings towards them, and the “rightness” of the relationship experience. They may repeatedly find themselves thinking “Is this the right relationship for me?”, “This is not real love!”, “Do I feel ‘right’?”, and “Does my partner really love me?”
People who present with partner-focused obsessions may focus on their partner’s physical features (e.g., “Her nose is too big.”), social qualities (e.g., “He is not social enough”; “She does not have what it takes to succeed in life.”), or personality attributes, such as morality, intelligence, or emotional stability (e.g., “She is not intelligent enough”, “He is not emotionally stable”)."
LITERATURE
1. Relationship OCD By Guy Doron, PhD, and Danny Derby, PhD
This article was initially published in the Fall 2014 edition of the OCD Newsletter.
2. Doron, G., Derby, D., & Szepsenwol. O. (2014). Relationship obsessive-compulsive disorder (ROCD): A conceptual framework. Journal of Obsessive-Compulsive and Related Disorders, 3, 169-180.
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[@thaLAangel]

you literally have a video for every single obscure problem i've ever had lmao

[@gigi9301]

I know this one has my name written All Over It!!

[@blaqobsydian44]

Thank you!!! This has perfectly and beautifully broken down exactly what went wrong in my last situationship, even down to her becoming abusive to test how I felt about her. Crazy how that lightbulb just went off in my mind and stayed on the entire video. I’m truly grateful for this information.

[@Prashant131090]

I feel as if I am unable to express my happiness in words for your "seriously traumatic sessions" on UA-cam. If I ever could become, I would say it feels like the "dawn" after a "nightmarish and darkest night"....
Thank you, Professor.
To me, you are the Sun and all my daily routines evolve around you. (Touching your feet 🙏)

[@emilylavelle]

Sam you are an invaluable gift to this earth

[@adulio98]

Nice to see you shedding some light on this still poorly understood illness. I think it's worth mentioning that ROCD is not a separate diagnosis in the DSM or ICD, but something clinicians call a 'theme' or 'subtype' (it's an unofficial name not reflected in taxonomy). OCD is OCD; the 'subtypes' are just names given to different presentations of the disorder, e.g. HOCD (homosexual; 'am I gay?'), POCD (pedophilia; 'am I a pedophile?'), and so on. Having such terms helps sufferers (they learn that what they experience has a name and is a treatable illness). It's also not uncommon to see the theme change over time, e.g. someone experiencing relationship obsessions suddenly develops homosexual obsessions (while the previous theme becomes completely irrelevant).
I was also very pleasantly surprised you mentioned the latest research on dissociation in OCD. For some other cutting-edge research on OCD, I recommend: Dar, R., Lazarov, A., & Liberman, N. (2021). Seeking proxies for internal states (SPIS): Towards a novel model of obsessive-compulsive disorder. Behaviour Research and Therapy, Volume 147.

[@mspdino]

Okaaaaay, Shoshannim

[@dianamorariu9763]

Haha

[@loislane7958]

Love it, the way Vaknin says it. Always makes me laugh.

[@anaesterhazy631]

Occam’s razor, principle stated by the Scholastic philosopher William of Ockham (1285-1347/49) that pluralitas non est ponenda sine necessitate, “plurality should not be posited without necessity.”
The principle gives precedence to simplicity: of two competing theories, the simpler explanation of an entity is to be preferred. The principle is also expressed as “Entities are not to be multiplied beyond necessity.”

[@SWEskL1]

This has been an amazing video. I’m very grateful to you for uploading this video

[@ceciliacoulombe-judkins2311]

Thanks for sharing your experience and knowledge

[@psychedelic-aesthetic]

Profound. Thank you Sam 🖤

[@nafissforghani3866]

thank you, another great video. so informative .

[@indigosmyth7475]

You just described me

[@vildanb8038]

thank you for the grate info !!!

[@cameogutierrez3466]

Thank you for this ❤

[@knolan2356]

My ex had this, then I developed it and we could never just ‘be’
She had so many qualities but always the OCD and ROCD overrides all else
Thank you for your wisdom and candour Professor - nobody says it like you do.

[@earthwalkerportal]

Sam Vaknin Thank u for everything! If u come to south Africa one day u are welcome visit.

[@doveoflove8582]

thank you.....the person i am with is not the right one....and you have made me realise that......onwards and upwards xx

[@throughtheshadow9013]

Thank you this was very helpful

[@Zerflef]

I’m so ROCD that I have acquired a ‘phd level’ of understanding of personality disorders just to understand my ex and finally figure out I have ROCD. 😂

[@donnasmith5400]

Hmm interesting... i wonder if i have this.
My daughter says i have OCD.
I know i have body dysmorphia. Anything on this professor?

[@bedadays1763]

Can ROCD be started by a hurt from your gf that leads to retro jealousy?

[@christinamoxie2951]

So by this logic, one could call ocd fueled behaviours a form of stimming?

[@lizbethbustamante5273]

Another symptom is watching this video more than once.

[@jenemba_838.]

Lol I’m just using it to get rid of so much social media cult brainwashing

[@L.Hodson]

Co dependents ?....