Anxiety played such a huge part my exes life. She eventually went to a therapist for help, the therapist told her she has extreme anxiety and that it will affect all her relationships if she doesn't get proper treatment. After that my ex told me that the therapist was useless and stopped going. Thanks Sam for clearing up the anxiety part of BPD. I always suspected the anxiety played a huge part in her life.. for the worst. Also exactly like you said in your previous video... High functioning during the day then at night the transformation and out comes the alcohol and dysfunction.
I saw what I did when he left me. I don't know that person but it is me. They called me psychopath. For years I stringed things together to paint a picture of him as the psycho not I. Abandonment triggers the secondary psychopathy. Five years made clear in one sentence. Thank you Sam. We wake from the nightmare briefly, turn our gaze from the abyss but the reality and beauty are fleeting. Like a moth to flame, We must return. The older you get the more crushing the reality of your life becomes. So when you wake from that nightmare, quickly erect a obelisk. Soon you see more truth then lie. No more terrors, just dreams, hand in hand with the one who loves you for the monster you believe you are.
dear sam ,i have a question regarding the covert borderline,can a covert borderline also be a hsp and have developed narcissistic defenses,and grandiosity because they were highly sensitive to emotions and therefore needed a protection from those emotions ,therefore dissociating into a primary pshichopat as a way of dealing with overwelming emotions ?
Holy crap. I can’t believe this, you literally just helped me figure out what was wrong with my ex. She was EXACTLY like that. She developed the dissociating and became grandiose to protect her self. Very narcissistic and lacked empathy for self protection. All eyes pointed to the self to avoid feeling emotional hurt.
What you just described is very much like me. I'm a Dissociated, Detached Hyper-analytical Borderline (Detached Protector Schema) with Hypervigilant Narcissism as a constituent subcomponent of my BPD. I'm also a Cerebral Narcissist in my Ego Identification with my detached Intellect. Percieved slights to my believed competence can trigger reactive aggression in the drive to suppress the Ego threat
@@d.daniels2298 Towards the end of this video, he lists seven characteristics of the anti-narcississtic n.m., of which I identify strongly with numbers 1-4, and also 7. I also identify strongly with the similarity to covert n. which is described after this (passive aggression, tendencies to self harm, self trash, self defeat are more pronounced than in the covert n. He goes on to describe my late mother (cruel and damaging) saying that the unconscious aim...is fantasied control over her. It's all fitting me like a pair of gloves that are exactly my size, but the colors are highly distressing.
@@laiia27 No, I said he's a "riot!' Intensely funny. I thoroughly agree that he is highly intelligent, and one of the few people I learn something from whenever I watch him. I watch him a lot. It's quite worthwhile!
Hey Prof Vaknin, I keep hearing people refer to Megan Markle as a narcissist. I don't know if there's anything to this charge. I'm aware of your work enough to consider you the authority on such things.
I keep hearing this too. From what im aware, diagnosis of mental disorders are usually only made for extreme outlying behavior when it has a negative impact. Definitions probably change for royalty and actors, people who live and work publicly. People using clinical terms on people they dont like is probably inappropriate. All royals could be considered narcissists except that their expectations do align with public opinion. It does seem strange someone demanding to be treated as a princess, but she is literally a princess, and i really doubt any psychiatrist would give her a diagnosis as a literal narcissist.
Thank you so much for talking about the High Functioning pwBPD, this is my ex! I look like the villain to everyone she knows and she walks away from each relationship the victim. How I would love to have coffee with her exes !!
Dear Sam! Could you sanctify the topic of parental alienation. As far as I know, this topic was developed by Richard Gardner. In one of the articles I read that he wrote that "parental alienation syndrome" does not exist on its own without a personality disorder. What do you know about Gardner himself, since I found controversial information about him, as well as about the "parental alienation syndrome" put forward by him? It would be very interesting to hear about it from you!
That makes them a retarded, and immature who probably jokes about his life to his mom then gets slapped because he said something he shouldn't have because it was rude
Ah yes the repetition of dodgy sexual situations. My ex started to tell me stories (around the point of devaluation) of previous sexual encounters that sounded dangerous and grim. Always when drunk so details were either sketchy or she was put in danger and became victim. and always away from the parents home. Funny how her mother never trusted with guys staying over 😂 The double life she played the perfect public persona with the dubious impulsive sexual lifestyle. All self destructive behaviours.
Oof tbh she did to me... Which really hurts, but than I realized I sort of did the same with my ex gf 😂 Guess it's fucked huh? My urges to lash out in response to this are intense... Out of nowhere... She must have thought I was a narc... She kept riding my abandonment fears, and I tried so hard not to go bezerk. I'm trying to still go the talking route. Because I might go fully crazy
Interesting video as always Dr. Vaknin. I have just one question, i dont know if you ever talked about this in some of your vids but i am interested if somebody can develope a personality disorder lets say in their late 30s mid 40s. Is that possible?
Curious on your thoughts and or reason on mental illness not only on the rise but that it has become an epidemic as research and studies suggest. I know our society has decade in the past few decades and my personal stand is that there is a correlation between mental illness becoming ab epidemic and progressive ideologies/liberalism, I'm almost want to suggest a causation. Before I got into politics over 2 years ago I studied and researched neuroscience, behavioral therapy, personality disorders, psychology and a few other fields and I came to the conclusion of BPD/physcopathy becoming ranpid in our societies then I started to get into politics and we're thrown into the cancel culture, me too movement, emotional dysregulation that liberals are suffering and it started to paint a picture or put the puzzle together that for me would explain the rise in mental illness.
May I add to your wonderful post, that the depletion of dopamine levels are correlated to severe depression/anxiety as well. Due to technology and instant gratification, humans aren’t having quality relationships with people anymore and are becoming chaotic mentally/emotionally because of this. The youth that’s growing up are expected to lead the way in the future, it ain’t looking too hot..
@@369moksha7 I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to repond to this comment as I type. To bring this epidemic down to almost non relevance or simply a prospective due to technology. Honestly what does one say to that, apply the hermetic principle, one doesn't need to do that because of how prevalent it is. Look all around you, any emotionally intelligent and mature individual can see that without having to read an article or study. As the previous comment even mentions, technology plays a significant part in its increase along side of been able to properly track it in different age groups, genders, societal structures. It goes to show us how critical thinking and EQ skills have dropped significantly in society.
Sam. Is the shame they run from connected to the general social stigma of narcissim or is it a more personal shame? Would it be eliminated if suddenly the world saw narcissim as being a virtue in other words?
We are already living in a time where “pride” is becoming normal and healthy. And that being humble is saying someone can’t be confident. But that confidence they self proclaim is just a high ego/pride. Things are getting twisted, so I do believe narcissism will become the new norm. Studies say around 30% are already narcissist. And it will keep growing.
Isn't that interesting. The etiologies of psychopathy being too much fear, and the one for schizophrenia being too much reality. These are compelling ideas.
I hope to find a video that describes the kind of personality disordered person who, though he has bipolar disorder as well, seems to be into deliberate self-sabotage. Filed for SSI at around age 22 and now by age 33, he is practically homeless, living in a hotel room and then he told me he only had a year and a half to live. I've found him to lie effortlessly about things that didn't need a lie, so I don't believe this either - and judging by his social media over the past year, his "stages" of cancer and type of cancer are all over the place. It's either active or he's beat it. Also, he has substance abuse issues and just doesn't seem to want to do much to help himself and feels really entitled to everyone doing it all for him in terms of finding him housing. I became a sucker for the mystery of what his deal actually is. I did get psychopath vibe, though. And he says he suffers with mostly anxiety overall, but he never seems anxious.
@@samvaknin uhm. So you think the work of Porges is bs, or is it because it is new? I am curious as to how possible new perspectives that are more according to the times can enlighten the work with people with personality disorders.
Sobering, yet bracing, to know that mental development stops at age 12. One can only get out with an accurate map. Thank you, professor.
Anxiety played such a huge part my exes life. She eventually went to a therapist for help, the therapist told her she has extreme anxiety and that it will affect all her relationships if she doesn't get proper treatment. After that my ex told me that the therapist was useless and stopped going. Thanks Sam for clearing up the anxiety part of BPD. I always suspected the anxiety played a huge part in her life.. for the worst. Also exactly like you said in your previous video... High functioning during the day then at night the transformation and out comes the alcohol and dysfunction.
Yes and some will say it’s not anxiety but agitation but essentially they are the same (semantics ) you are def on the right track
I saw what I did when he left me. I don't know that person but it is me. They called me psychopath. For years I stringed things together to paint a picture of him as the psycho not I. Abandonment triggers the secondary psychopathy. Five years made clear in one sentence. Thank you Sam.
We wake from the nightmare briefly, turn our gaze from the abyss but the reality and beauty are fleeting. Like a moth to flame, We must return. The older you get the more crushing the reality of your life becomes. So when you wake from that nightmare, quickly erect a obelisk. Soon you see more truth then lie. No more terrors, just dreams, hand in hand with the one who loves you for the monster you believe you are.
Great Introduction
Your wicked humour is more contagious than covid... Perhaps even an antidote! Muchas gracias Samito!
Very informative gives a great new perspective on cluster B types
dear sam ,i have a question regarding the covert borderline,can a covert borderline also be a hsp and have developed narcissistic defenses,and grandiosity because they were highly sensitive to emotions and therefore needed a protection from those emotions ,therefore dissociating into a primary pshichopat as a way of dealing with overwelming emotions ?
Holy crap. I can’t believe this, you literally just helped me figure out what was wrong with my ex. She was EXACTLY like that. She developed the dissociating and became grandiose to protect her self. Very narcissistic and lacked empathy for self protection. All eyes pointed to the self to avoid feeling emotional hurt.
What you just described is very much like me. I'm a Dissociated, Detached Hyper-analytical Borderline (Detached Protector Schema) with Hypervigilant Narcissism as a constituent subcomponent of my BPD. I'm also a Cerebral Narcissist in my Ego Identification with my detached Intellect. Percieved slights to my believed competence can trigger reactive aggression in the drive to suppress the Ego threat
Brilliant work, Professor. Thank you!
This is a great video broading my horizon could you please do more on this topic psychopaths and anxiety.
Actually, the anti-narcississtic masochistic narcissist reminds me a lot of me. I wish it didn't.
@@d.daniels2298 Towards the end of this video, he lists seven characteristics of the anti-narcississtic n.m., of which I identify strongly with numbers 1-4, and also 7. I also identify strongly with the similarity to covert n. which is described after this (passive aggression, tendencies to self harm, self trash, self defeat are more pronounced than in the covert n. He goes on to describe my late mother (cruel and damaging) saying that the unconscious aim...is fantasied control over her. It's all fitting me like a pair of gloves that are exactly my size, but the colors are highly distressing.
Love 💗 the intro joke!!!!
You're a riot!
@@laiia27 No, I said he's a "riot!' Intensely funny. I thoroughly agree that he is highly intelligent, and one of the few people I learn something from whenever I watch him. I watch him a lot. It's quite worthwhile!
Dear Sam! Who would say he feels anxious all the time but is never afraid of anything?
Hey Prof Vaknin,
I keep hearing people refer to Megan Markle as a narcissist. I don't know if there's anything to this charge. I'm aware of your work enough to consider you the authority on such things.
I keep hearing this too. From what im aware, diagnosis of mental disorders are usually only made for extreme outlying behavior when it has a negative impact. Definitions probably change for royalty and actors, people who live and work publicly. People using clinical terms on people they dont like is probably inappropriate. All royals could be considered narcissists except that their expectations do align with public opinion. It does seem strange someone demanding to be treated as a princess, but she is literally a princess, and i really doubt any psychiatrist would give her a diagnosis as a literal narcissist.
What causes neuroticism ? I’ve been dealing with anxiety since as a child
We don't know. Probably genetic.
The best opening ever...!
Thank you so much for talking about the High Functioning pwBPD, this is my ex!
I look like the villain to everyone she knows and she walks away from each relationship the victim. How I would love to have coffee with her exes !!
Another good one Sam!!
Fkn genius ! Omg
Dear Sam! Could you sanctify the topic of parental alienation. As far as I know, this topic was developed by Richard Gardner. In one of the articles I read that he wrote that "parental alienation syndrome" does not exist on its own without a personality disorder.
What do you know about Gardner himself, since I found controversial information about him, as well as about the "parental alienation syndrome" put forward by him?
It would be very interesting to hear about it from you!
PAS is nonsense. However, divorced parents do sometimes act in various ways to estrange their children from their exes.
@@samvaknin Are they not going to include PAS in DSM 6?
It seems that some time ago there were many articles on this topic.
Look at the detailed material from Dr. Childress. PAS is what happens when a borderline parent is involved
@@Caparason824 Thank you very much! I will definitely look!
If a 16 year old has no empathy and hurts animals does that make them a sociopath cause I a friend like that
Watch my video on conduct disorder.
That makes them a retarded, and immature who probably jokes about his life to his mom then gets slapped because he said something he shouldn't have because it was rude
Maybe he's a sociopath maybe an immature guy who hasnt developed empathy yet, maybe sadistic, maybe just an asshole. Who knows..
Ah yes the repetition of dodgy sexual situations. My ex started to tell me stories (around the point of devaluation) of previous sexual encounters that sounded dangerous and grim. Always when drunk so details were either sketchy or she was put in danger and became victim. and always away from the parents home. Funny how her mother never trusted with guys staying over 😂
The double life she played the perfect public persona with the dubious impulsive sexual lifestyle. All self destructive behaviours.
Oof tbh she did to me... Which really hurts, but than I realized I sort of did the same with my ex gf 😂
Guess it's fucked huh? My urges to lash out in response to this are intense... Out of nowhere...
She must have thought I was a narc... She kept riding my abandonment fears, and I tried so hard not to go bezerk.
I'm trying to still go the talking route. Because I might go fully crazy
🤣 necrophilia lol Sam you’re hilarious
Interesting video as always Dr. Vaknin. I have just one question, i dont know if you ever talked about this in some of your vids but i am interested if somebody can develope a personality disorder lets say in their late 30s mid 40s. Is that possible?
My reactants were to push him harder to be as gradios as he claimed or think he was wanting me to cheat not find another to replace him.
What would a heterosexual intimate relationship look like when both of the partners are borderline?
Absolute carnage, will burn 🔥 each other to ashes, if untreated. I know from experience
Thank you
Like that one future song ?
Curious on your thoughts and or reason on mental illness not only on the rise but that it has become an epidemic as research and studies suggest. I know our society has decade in the past few decades and my personal stand is that there is a correlation between mental illness becoming ab epidemic and progressive ideologies/liberalism, I'm almost want to suggest a causation.
Before I got into politics over 2 years ago I studied and researched neuroscience, behavioral therapy, personality disorders, psychology and a few other fields and I came to the conclusion of BPD/physcopathy becoming ranpid in our societies then I started to get into politics and we're thrown into the cancel culture, me too movement, emotional dysregulation that liberals are suffering and it started to paint a picture or put the puzzle together that for me would explain the rise in mental illness.
May I add to your wonderful post, that the depletion of dopamine levels are correlated to severe depression/anxiety as well. Due to technology and instant gratification, humans aren’t having quality relationships with people anymore and are becoming chaotic mentally/emotionally because of this. The youth that’s growing up are expected to lead the way in the future, it ain’t looking too hot..
@@369moksha7 I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to repond to this comment as I type. To bring this epidemic down to almost non relevance or simply a prospective due to technology. Honestly what does one say to that, apply the hermetic principle, one doesn't need to do that because of how prevalent it is. Look all around you, any emotionally intelligent and mature individual can see that without having to read an article or study. As the previous comment even mentions, technology plays a significant part in its increase along side of been able to properly track it in different age groups, genders, societal structures. It goes to show us how critical thinking and EQ skills have dropped significantly in society.
Sam. Is the shame they run from connected to the general social stigma of narcissim or is it a more personal shame? Would it be eliminated if suddenly the world saw narcissim as being a virtue in other words?
We are already living in a time where “pride” is becoming normal and healthy. And that being humble is saying someone can’t be confident. But that confidence they self proclaim is just a high ego/pride. Things are getting twisted, so I do believe narcissism will become the new norm. Studies say around 30% are already narcissist. And it will keep growing.
Isn't that interesting. The etiologies of psychopathy being too much fear, and the one for schizophrenia being too much reality. These are compelling ideas.
I hope to find a video that describes the kind of personality disordered person who, though he has bipolar disorder as well, seems to be into deliberate self-sabotage. Filed for SSI at around age 22 and now by age 33, he is practically homeless, living in a hotel room and then he told me he only had a year and a half to live. I've found him to lie effortlessly about things that didn't need a lie, so I don't believe this either - and judging by his social media over the past year, his "stages" of cancer and type of cancer are all over the place. It's either active or he's beat it. Also, he has substance abuse issues and just doesn't seem to want to do much to help himself and feels really entitled to everyone doing it all for him in terms of finding him housing. I became a sucker for the mystery of what his deal actually is. I did get psychopath vibe, though. And he says he suffers with mostly anxiety overall, but he never seems anxious.
It's difficult to diagnose a person in addiction, they must be free of all substances before doctors can find out.
Sounds like ASPD
Prof Vaknin what do you think about a Polyvagal approach to working with narcissim?
Pseudscientific nonsense.
@@samvaknin uhm. So you think the work of Porges is bs, or is it because it is new? I am curious as to how possible new perspectives that are more according to the times can enlighten the work with people with personality disorders.
@@samvaknin and how about any form of trauma informed work. what do you think?