@BeautyQueen2023X well nobody is saying we are but the point still stands. The no contact for days in the context of the video is why we are not dating men anymore. And you're weird for writing the same lame comment under every comment. Get a life.
Are you sure about this? I mean can there be any other scenario because he still wants to be with me and always denies that he is cheating on me and says I am taking things wrong( btw it's been two weeks for us i reached out today bcz he wasn't doing it ) He actually repeated this he once did the same to me after one month of dating, he gave me the reason of financial issues and the threats he was getting, and this time he is giving the reason of being occupied with college stuffs, and feeling overwhelmed by everything and he started drinking (as he said) after 2 years of serious relationship (in the same time of the same month)Idk deep down I feel like he is definitely hiding something can you please guide me on this I am really confused.
@@PriyaMishra-eq1jg People are on their phone almost 24/7...if he wasn't reaching out to you within 2 weeks...yeaahhh....than he's not that into you. I was there myself. I was always the one initiating texting, he always had excuses why we arent meeting again bla bla bla. He always said I was the only one he was dating bla bla bla. Found out later I was just the side chick who was getting breadcrumbs and he had a girlfriend which got everything from him what I always wished for. That hurt very much and leaves a traumatic experience. And now I'm dating a new guy and he slowly begin to pull away. If he's doing that for longer, I'm gonna cut him off. I can't do this shit again.
@@xLithiumx Even after I reached out I am still getting ignored..I stated every single issue yesterday on call yet he was not willing to communicate and concluded nothing.Idk what's actually going on but he said many times that he don't want to leave me and when i asked why he didn't reach out in so many days he said he didn't want to discuss things again. Today I am here again waiting for his text since morning I clearly don't know what to do he seemed so nice it never felt like he might be cheating he showed so much respect but there is this one thing that always bothered me and it happened twice, when I asked for his phone he always had some excuse like "I've planned something for your birthday", "I was joking" etc...I only got his phone in the start of dating, he also shared his password.
guys aren't hard to figure out. they are quite simple. if they like you they will do everything in their power to keep tabs with you and respond to texts. If they are not interested you will be put on the back burner. you'll be an afterthought and not a priority. so you won't hear from them until they absolutely and completely have nothing better to do. moral of the story....if they don't respond in a timely fashion, move on. don't waste your beautiful energy and spirit on someone who is not going to love and appreciate you. xo
what if he text you in the morning and doesn't care to talk at after 8 pm, hw Just text we exchange 6,7 text messages a day calls once a while like a week or 10 days, what does it mean asked me on a date and forget how to deal
@@vertikasingh8765 You are in the "friend zone." He's not interested in having a romantic relationship with you or he would've asked you out on a date. Don't waste your time. Move on so that you can meet someone who will appreciate your heart and spirit and take you out on romantic dates and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. xoxoxox
I have been silent for days it's been two weeks and I finally reached out today bcz he is not the one doing it, he speaks nicely and still says he wants to be with me, when I pointed this thing out he said he thought it's over, the question is how can he be so cool about it also when I accuse him of cheating he always denies what does it mean I am very confused.
I recently went on a couple of dates with a nice guy but he would go 1-2 days without texting/calling or he’d leave me on read. I didn’t really mind at that point but during one of our dates I mentioned something about it. He was really surprised I felt this way and he wasn’t doing it intentionally. He was really happy I communicated this with him because he simply didn’t realize it. He’s a doctor so he is very busy but even after me telling him about it he took the time out of his day to text me. He’d say hello in between surgery 😆 I thought it was very thoughtful of him. So ladies, simply speak up. Most issues can be easily fixed if you flat out say what’s bothering you. Also if an anesthesiologist can take the time out of his day to send a text then most men can, no matter how busy! Don’t accept crumbs. It’s ok to have certain expectations. If a guy truly cares then he will make necessary adjustments
I love how straightforward you were without being aggressive. I do think if your dating..there should be no expectations to call every other day or whatever. He hasn't made a commitment for relationship yet. I don't really believe in dating anymore. I court..which is intentional with the goal of marriage. I love Elliot and hope he marries. Love you brother! Praying for you.
Same with me my guy recently started to date didn't text me for 2 days I told him that and he apologized saying that he was busy (has 3 jobs) after that he has been texting everyday whenever he can 😁
I think we all get caught up in thinking that if we understand why or say the right thing or do the right thing, we can fix things. But relationships are feelings based not logic based. Logic is more like 2+2 is 4. Feelings are far more complex and there is no magic answer. Two people truly hitting it off is more like first discovering popcorn. It’s a happy accident. You didn’t know it was going to happen but it did. Who you are clicked with what he finds highly attractive- looks, voice, intelligence, humor, personality etc... His not trying is his way of saying he’s not feeling it. It’s not clicking.
I've very recently had this experience, found out when he put a picture on whatsapp as his dp and said its his aunty, then when i asked again he said its his cousin, over and above that he constantly said he wants to marry me.I'm still in shock, its a mixture of shock and hurt but mostly shock.Thats obviosly his wife in the picture with him or someone his in a serious relationship with
@@sandyM968 Sorry this happened to you. I can’t say I experienced a similar situation but seeing that photo must have been heartbreaking. I would be devastated. But at least now you know. You deserve someone who only wants to be with you
The guy I was talking to (emphasis on was) reached out me in the beginning when I waited two days to reach out to him after he texted me. He called me up and asked me why I hadn't talked to him and when I told him that I didn't want to bug him too much so I was going to hit him up in a day or two, he specifically requested that I reach out to him more. As our situation got complicated, he stopped texting frequently to the point that he would be silent for a couple of days and then it became kind of like a game as to who would text who first. I stopped worrying about it because if he wanted to reach me he knew how and I made a point of telling him that when he would get in touch with me again. We're no longer seeing each other but we're still friends and now it doesn't bother me if he reaches out to me or not. I've moved on with my life.
I had a guy ignore/freeze me out after an argument. And after day 5, I already had a date lined up for that following weekend. I don't put up with that type of behavior. Adults communicate, and if they need space, it shouldn't take a week. I didn't sign up solitary confinement. Boy Bye!
@@HisaLight2mypathSame especially bc a safe precious connection is rare via online dating. When I finally fall for a msn its bc of his face, voice and we had nice conversations. I find it hard to grasp how people can kiss and hug you multiple times but not miss you. It was intimate, not sex. I'm still confused.
One thing I love about your videos is your brutal honesty. It might not be what a lot of people want to hear, but it's definitely what I needed to hear in the past. I'm now in a very happy almost 2 year relationship, and I couldn't have done it without your advice. Never change, and please keep posting
I had a guy for two years act just like a boyfriend would. never went a day without contacting me. As soon as we hung out he's making plans for the next date. holding hands, planning expensive dates, opening doors for me, etc.. Two months ago something was telling me to check if his profile was down on the site we met on. It wasn't! in all fairness it showed he wasn't on in a while. I asked him if he took his profiles down and he said "I'm sure I have one up but I don't go on much it's getting old"....I said "oh okay well when you decide to be exclusive let me know" he said "okay I understand"!!!!!!!! blew my mind away. I'm not disappointed I spent all that time with him, I did benefit from the relationship (great sex) but I just was sad because I knew at that moment if I continued to see him I would be disrespecting myself. Later he clarified that he enjoyed spending time with me but he didn't want to lie and say he wanted to be exclusive...LOL you think he would have mentioned that in our two years of dating. Oh well...next...
How can 2 years not be exclusive? Honestly what is wrong with guys these days. Back in the 90s if you wrte dating and sleeping with a guy you were exclusive. Not convo necessary.
@@sjgbrighton I know. Well back on the 90s they did it on the DL. This guy is a lawyer and can't tell a lie. The strange part is he's not even getting sex elsewhere. I'm a very nice looking woman and hes short and below average looking man...like he can get women but he's not getting my caliber looks and class wise. Whatever some guys have to learn the hard way.
@@Jennifer-di4nlBabe some guys are insecure around a beautiful woman like yourself, and since he could pull you he might think he can get another one like you. Hes immature but be honest with yourself, were you acting clingy and needy? Where you too focused on him or did you live a happy life outside of this relationship? We must treat all men the same, never let him believe he has you 100% and that you could never leave him.
This was helpful, because I been single for 5 months and just started putting myself out there, lol I swear, everyone starts out so interested before and during and then slows down the texting, lol I’m a busy person but when I’m interested, I put in the effort.
You are so f*ckin' right. Damn. Your message really made it easier to move on...which has taken a very long and brutal two years. Thank you for being honest.
I have come to realize after dealing with guys like this and wasting my time trying to figure out why they were ghosting me, that any guy that values you and wants a relationship with you will consistently show up for you on a daily basis in some capacity. Instead of trying to figure him out, figure yourself out. Why don’t I think I deserve to be treated better? Why do I accept breadcrumbs and think that’s ok? When you start valuing yourself, you won’t have to deal with these types of guys anymore. It’s all about self love ladies. Took me 55 years to figure that out, but I have and it’s a deal breaker.
My guy suddenly did this after being with me for 4 years. Actually the relationship became rocky after his dad died in December last year. And he tells me that he has other stressors. We do meet occasionally and he tells me he loves me randomly. But the contact has decreased.
Am I the only person who with an avoidant attachment style gets annoyed a little if a guy talks to me much, I feel bad a little about having a hyper independent complex
I think if you truly fall for a man by his looks manners, mind and energy you won't feel pushed or violated in your personal space..the right person will give you balance. Not to much and not to little I too shut down when a guy texts me a little to much from the start but it depends on his communication style, vibe and attitude. If I find him attractive in how he talks and he is laid back, I don't feel intruded.
How much each of you give and how little each of you take for granted, will determine the success of a relationship. 💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
You've said in the past that it's normal for a guy to go a day or 2 or even 3 without talking to you. How many days are you talking about in this video? And does it count if you didn't reach out to him either or only if you did reach out and it takes him days to reply?
He says different things in every video 😂. Sometimes three days without a respond is called breadcrumbing and too much, in others he says as long as its not over four days. I don't think he knows himself
What about if the guys doesn’t think the girl likes him back? This just happened to me with my neighbor. I’m shy around guys that I like and push them away for some reason. I think because I’ve been hurt in the past. I kind of pushed him away when he tried to kiss me. I thought he’d realize I was kidding and that he’d try to kiss me again but he didn’t. This was a year and a half ago. We still hang out and have gone on over 100 walks. Not exaggerating either. He hasn’t tried anything in a year and a half now but he walks super close to me. The other neighbors that we were dating because of how we walked together. We’re always joking with each other and smiling big. He’s also always here for me. I finally tried to explain last week that I like him and that I pushed him away because I got scared but he, either didn’t understand or he’s over me.
Didn't talk to me for several days and when I confronted him he said why should I be the one who always text? Even tho I do text him and I did last time, like wtf? (Left him btw lol)
I’m glad you left. That’s classic manipulation- he flipped it on you, hoping to make you defend yourself so that he wouldn’t have to explain himself. That’s a big sign to move on.
I don’t understand why two people have to text and call and talk all the time?! Might be the reason why relationships are so short lived these days. Give space to people, everyone is busy and has work and other duties next by.
I mean yeah you're right but you can't go days without texting someone you love there's nothing hard about doing a 30 min call some texts and you can be busy as you want just don't act like this person doesn't exist it feels so sad to feel like you don't matter to the person you love you don't even get a single text T All
If I sense it isn’t going anywhere on either one of our ends I just put the ixnay on it. I’d rather be alone then waste my time on something that doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell? Maybe that’s just me?
Either they have a side chick or some other problems. (or they don't understand how to create and upkeep social relations, OR don't want to!) If they are not interested, then why not say it.
Does lack of attraction mean physical attraction? Could a guy be entertaining a woman who he doesn’t think is hot? That’s my biggest fear that I’ve dated men who don’t think I’m a dime.
No. If it was that, he wouldn’t have approached you. It just means that whatever does it for him, he isn’t seeing in you. Maybe he likes loud dominant women and you’re soft and forgiving. Maybe he likes outdoors and you like Netflix and chill. It just means that you two didn’t click in a way that reached his heart for whatever reason.
@@Mayfloweralways okay. It’s happened with men who I’ve approached too. My male coworker told me that he will hook up with women who he doesn’t think is pretty, because sex is sex.
Or you know we are too old to Chase cars. This dog doesn't hunt. If you wanna associate that is fine but I have a life that I'm quite content in living on my own. Why should I add that extra drama Of chasing After Somebody?
I recently started dating a guy. It's going on 2 months. He has been extremely consisted and putting forth a lot of effort. However, I am a single mom. And another serious factor, we have a significant age gap. Keep in mind, things have still been really good. Anyway, after having a serious talk about our future (suggested by him to have this talk btw) we agreed we probably won't work out in the long run. After that conversation, I didn't hear from him for 3 days. I didn't reach out because I thought we were "over". Then he calls (on facetime) saying he misses me and he doesn't want to stop seeing me. Needless, to say it was a very nice surprise. We may or may not work out but not all space is bad. :)
Hey Elliot. Does a man think differently when he's really really good looking. I think I'm a strong 7 good 8 when im trying so it's not that I lack confidence in myself but the dudes like a 12 out of 10 on looks. Do I approach this the same as I would every other guy or do looks change a man's approach to dating
Yes looks change the picture. If a dude is super hot then these guys almost always are highly polygamous and they're players. Also try not to fawn over the guys looks because they're used to girls doing this and chasing after them. So don't chase after the guy.
My man came saw me he was so happy see me cuddling hugging me making love me we made me him been together for 5 months going on 6 months he came two hours down see me I was shocked fr the problem is he is around his family communication is the key fr I fkn really love him fr with all my heart I been crying we had our long nights texting conversations ❤ we both love each other we met in person he came to my new house I got
I called a guy out he said he wanted everything with me but kept dissapearing and appearing holidays and weekends would dissapear so I said either we commit or I'm keeping my options open his answer was his silence even though im hurt i have to value myself
i met this guy at work and we had went out like 2 times and the 3 time we hung out he was leaning towards a kiss. what does that mean. in feel like its too soon.
... or he has an avoidant attachment style and after an intense and close moment, he gets scared and need a bit of time to work on his fear and come back. You just need to give him a bit of space, and when he comes back, don't pressure to go on fast mode again.
We text every 2 3 days he replies everytime or makes convo but if he does there's nothing from him no questions no trying to carry it keeps saying meet then on the day let's me down met once this year he said how it took him a lot out his comfort zone he has anxiety but the excuses every meet up is a joke now I'm like why arrange it then let me down some are even like I'm tired now
He said he didn't approach me in two weeks bcz he thought i was gone..he thought i left him.I was surprised after hearing that..i mean how can someone be so cool and not do anything when they realise they are losing their partner..he still says he wants to be with me(after me approaching him btw)
Haven't heard from the guy I’ve been talking to since Xmas day in 2 days now. He did tell me that during the weekend he'd be busy moving so. Maybe that's the case still? Idk if I should just give up?
@@laurajoy1180 No different than if you were deciding to buy a house (if you can’t afford to give it (whatever ‘it’ may be) your time, money, soul then, you just don’t do it!😉
if he did replied back to me but a few hours later, and i didn’t reply back - am i the one ignoring him? but he didn’t reach out to me during the 5 days too
Totally Disagree. Let’s be honest you haven’t been with enough women to give this advice Orrrrrr. He’s busy actually making an empire. Orrrr he wants to see if she’s crazy/ clinger etc. ladies just text him hi handsome that’s it
I used to make guys do 90% of the initiating and I started learning they thought I wasn’t interested and would stop initiating. I learned I need to initiate 40% of the time if I don’t want to send the wrong message.
@AD-hh6dd they should be doing at least 80%. My experience has been if they're not and I have to reach out after days, it doesn't usually have a good outcome.
@@stefanieleavitt522480% most self respecting guys leave unless they’re simps. I’m currently in a relationship with a guy that wouldn’t commit and it wasn’t until I started reciprocating more and knocked off the petty games like that when he committed. Sometimes we women blame men and fail to realize our part. He and I are doing great. It’s not like me stepping up made him do less. Quite the opposite: once I stepped up, he stepped up even more.
The real question..do men forgive period lol...if you hurt them in anyway regardless of cheating or making the wrong comment...they seem to stay hurt for the rest of their life
I don’t agree with this at all. There is nothing more unattractive than a guy in your face 24/7, it’s needy and lame. I don’t want my guy to call me every day and vice versa. We have a life of our own and other things to do. If he doesn’t call for days it means he has a life and thank god for that!
I disagree. If you talk to your bf every day it doesn’t mean you don’t have your own lives. Imagine being married. Unless you live in a mansion chances are you’ll be talking/seeing each other all day every day (or a large portion of the day/night) and during Covid many couples worked from home 24/7. A committed monogamous relationship is kind of in preparation to marriage, at least for me that’s the goal. There may be some couples who don’t want to get married at all which is fine but I think the vast majority of women do. I can’t imagine not talking every day, even for just 30 minutes to check in (maybe 15 in the morning and 15 at night) It doesn’t take that much time and effort but it means a lot. It builds and maintains intimacy. A short phone call is a small gesture but it can mean so much. But I think there’s no right or wrong way to go about it as long as both sides agree. If for example the gf wants to talk daily but her bf doesn’t then you can have a big problem. Different desires and expectations. So as long as both parties agree then it’s fine. Not talking for days simply wouldn’t work for me I need more contact
Oh I know. But if I say that they come at me with a pitch fork. It's just as bad on both ends. The irony of it is they hate emotionally unavailable men but don't realize women make up a majority for why men are emotionally unavailable lol. Men don't wake up one day and wanna ruin a woman's life lol.
If he wants to chat me, he can find me. So if he doesnt. Im busy with my life. Make it 8 days of not hearing from you.... i will interpret it's over. Who knows what is the reason. Dont make me wait for too long. I will move on by 8th day lol 😂
The pulling back action from a man is the reason why half of America wants to stay single . It’s a great reason to stay away forever .
@BeautyQueen2023X well nobody is saying we are but the point still stands. The no contact for days in the context of the video is why we are not dating men anymore. And you're weird for writing the same lame comment under every comment. Get a life.
Anything over 4/5 days of silence…. keep dating other people… Because the guy is dating other people.
Proof
@@dzhonnikihirin4006life and experience
Are you sure about this? I mean can there be any other scenario because he still wants to be with me and always denies that he is cheating on me and says I am taking things wrong( btw it's been two weeks for us i reached out today bcz he wasn't doing it )
He actually repeated this he once did the same to me after one month of dating, he gave me the reason of financial issues and the threats he was getting, and this time he is giving the reason of being occupied with college stuffs, and feeling overwhelmed by everything and he started drinking (as he said) after 2 years of serious relationship (in the same time of the same month)Idk deep down I feel like he is definitely hiding something can you please guide me on this I am really confused.
@@PriyaMishra-eq1jg People are on their phone almost 24/7...if he wasn't reaching out to you within 2 weeks...yeaahhh....than he's not that into you. I was there myself. I was always the one initiating texting, he always had excuses why we arent meeting again bla bla bla. He always said I was the only one he was dating bla bla bla. Found out later I was just the side chick who was getting breadcrumbs and he had a girlfriend which got everything from him what I always wished for. That hurt very much and leaves a traumatic experience. And now I'm dating a new guy and he slowly begin to pull away. If he's doing that for longer, I'm gonna cut him off. I can't do this shit again.
@@xLithiumx Even after I reached out I am still getting ignored..I stated every single issue yesterday on call yet he was not willing to communicate and concluded nothing.Idk what's actually going on but he said many times that he don't want to leave me and when i asked why he didn't reach out in so many days he said he didn't want to discuss things again. Today I am here again waiting for his text since morning I clearly don't know what to do he seemed so nice it never felt like he might be cheating he showed so much respect but there is this one thing that always bothered me and it happened twice, when I asked for his phone he always had some excuse like "I've planned something for your birthday", "I was joking" etc...I only got his phone in the start of dating, he also shared his password.
Just close the door and move on. Leave him alone.
guys aren't hard to figure out. they are quite simple. if they like you they will do everything in their power to keep tabs with you and respond to texts. If they are not interested you will be put on the back burner. you'll be an afterthought and not a priority. so you won't hear from them until they absolutely and completely have nothing better to do. moral of the story....if they don't respond in a timely fashion, move on. don't waste your beautiful energy and spirit on someone who is not going to love and appreciate you. xo
We get called needy when we try too hard
😢
what if he text you in the morning and doesn't care to talk at after 8 pm, hw Just text we exchange 6,7 text messages a day calls once a while like a week or 10 days, what does it mean asked me on a date and forget how to deal
@@vertikasingh8765 You are in the "friend zone." He's not interested in having a romantic relationship with you or he would've asked you out on a date. Don't waste your time. Move on so that you can meet someone who will appreciate your heart and spirit and take you out on romantic dates and treat you the way you deserve to be treated. xoxoxox
@@cindy7733 then why he asked me on a date in rhe first place
I'm so glad I'm single. whew the peace and clarity that comes from it is unmatched. and there's toys so...yeah.
You don't have peace if you are watching this video
Toys 😂 im screaming but i feel
@@worldbestalwaysoh my gosh that is so true 😂
@BeautyQueen2023X yeah bc I Like Elliott and want to show support dumbass. You can be single and watch whatever you want.
@@worldbestalways just like someone who doesnt take drugs can watch a video on drug addicts lol
Silence is golden. Speaks volumes.
I have been silent for days it's been two weeks and I finally reached out today bcz he is not the one doing it, he speaks nicely and still says he wants to be with me, when I pointed this thing out he said he thought it's over, the question is how can he be so cool about it also when I accuse him of cheating he always denies what does it mean I am very confused.
Just block him. He said he wanted a relationship and marriage and then pulled away. Oh well. His loss.
Exactly only boys play games not men
I recently went on a couple of dates with a nice guy but he would go 1-2 days without texting/calling or he’d leave me on read. I didn’t really mind at that point but during one of our dates I mentioned something about it. He was really surprised I felt this way and he wasn’t doing it intentionally. He was really happy I communicated this with him because he simply didn’t realize it. He’s a doctor so he is very busy but even after me telling him about it he took the time out of his day to text me. He’d say hello in between surgery 😆 I thought it was very thoughtful of him. So ladies, simply speak up. Most issues can be easily fixed if you flat out say what’s bothering you. Also if an anesthesiologist can take the time out of his day to send a text then most men can, no matter how busy! Don’t accept crumbs. It’s ok to have certain expectations. If a guy truly cares then he will make necessary adjustments
It just started talking to an anesthesiologist too lol
@@brownsugarglamour where do y’all be meeting these doctors?? Put me on lol
I love how straightforward you were without being aggressive. I do think if your dating..there should be no expectations to call every other day or whatever. He hasn't made a commitment for relationship yet. I don't really believe in dating anymore. I court..which is intentional with the goal of marriage. I love Elliot and hope he marries. Love you brother! Praying for you.
Same with me my guy recently started to date didn't text me for 2 days I told him that and he apologized saying that he was busy (has 3 jobs) after that he has been texting everyday whenever he can 😁
How do you tell a guy off.
It means he's not that into you
Texted my ex after my best friend was found deceased. He got back to me 4 days later.
@@debmccafferty1007 Jesus 😲 that’s terrible!
@@debmccafferty1007 Omg 😢
I think we all get caught up in thinking that if we understand why or say the right thing or do the right thing, we can fix things. But relationships are feelings based not logic based. Logic is more like 2+2 is 4. Feelings are far more complex and there is no magic answer. Two people truly hitting it off is more like first discovering popcorn. It’s a happy accident. You didn’t know it was going to happen but it did. Who you are clicked with what he finds highly attractive- looks, voice, intelligence, humor, personality etc... His not trying is his way of saying he’s not feeling it. It’s not clicking.
You forgot reason 3… he’s with someone else and you’re the side chick!
Thaaaat part !!
I've very recently had this experience, found out when he put a picture on whatsapp as his dp and said its his aunty, then when i asked again he said its his cousin, over and above that he constantly said he wants to marry me.I'm still in shock, its a mixture of shock and hurt but mostly shock.Thats obviosly his wife in the picture with him or someone his in a serious relationship with
@@sandyM968 Sorry this happened to you. I can’t say I experienced a similar situation but seeing that photo must have been heartbreaking. I would be devastated. But at least now you know. You deserve someone who only wants to be with you
Had the experience- you deny it to yourself but your instincts will tell you xxxcc
So true
The guy I was talking to (emphasis on was) reached out me in the beginning when I waited two days to reach out to him after he texted me. He called me up and asked me why I hadn't talked to him and when I told him that I didn't want to bug him too much so I was going to hit him up in a day or two, he specifically requested that I reach out to him more. As our situation got complicated, he stopped texting frequently to the point that he would be silent for a couple of days and then it became kind of like a game as to who would text who first. I stopped worrying about it because if he wanted to reach me he knew how and I made a point of telling him that when he would get in touch with me again. We're no longer seeing each other but we're still friends and now it doesn't bother me if he reaches out to me or not. I've moved on with my life.
You shouldn't have him as a friend. Just cut him off
Exhausting and without these games life is challenging enough.
I had a guy ignore/freeze me out after an argument. And after day 5, I already had a date lined up for that following weekend. I don't put up with that type of behavior. Adults communicate, and if they need space, it shouldn't take a week. I didn't sign up solitary confinement. Boy Bye!
Wish I could Bounce back as quickly as you but I have that anxious attachment
@teatalkwithme Ohh I have been there! Not an easy thing to break. I do wish you happiness and all the beautiful things that love will bring.
@@HisaLight2mypathSame especially bc a safe precious connection is rare via online dating.
When I finally fall for a msn its bc of his face, voice and we had nice conversations.
I find it hard to grasp how people can kiss and hug you multiple times but not miss you.
It was intimate, not sex.
I'm still confused.
Haha❤
One thing I love about your videos is your brutal honesty. It might not be what a lot of people want to hear, but it's definitely what I needed to hear in the past. I'm now in a very happy almost 2 year relationship, and I couldn't have done it without your advice. Never change, and please keep posting
I had a guy for two years act just like a boyfriend would. never went a day without contacting me. As soon as we hung out he's making plans for the next date. holding hands, planning expensive dates, opening doors for me, etc.. Two months ago something was telling me to check if his profile was down on the site we met on. It wasn't! in all fairness it showed he wasn't on in a while. I asked him if he took his profiles down and he said "I'm sure I have one up but I don't go on much it's getting old"....I said "oh okay well when you decide to be exclusive let me know" he said "okay I understand"!!!!!!!! blew my mind away. I'm not disappointed I spent all that time with him, I did benefit from the relationship (great sex) but I just was sad because I knew at that moment if I continued to see him I would be disrespecting myself. Later he clarified that he enjoyed spending time with me but he didn't want to lie and say he wanted to be exclusive...LOL you think he would have mentioned that in our two years of dating. Oh well...next...
How can 2 years not be exclusive? Honestly what is wrong with guys these days. Back in the 90s if you wrte dating and sleeping with a guy you were exclusive. Not convo necessary.
@@sjgbrighton I know. Well back on the 90s they did it on the DL. This guy is a lawyer and can't tell a lie. The strange part is he's not even getting sex elsewhere. I'm a very nice looking woman and hes short and below average looking man...like he can get women but he's not getting my caliber looks and class wise. Whatever some guys have to learn the hard way.
@@Jennifer-di4nl True, appreciation is something to learn for some selfish types.
Good part is that you are now free to meet the best of best 😌
@@Jennifer-di4nlBabe some guys are insecure around a beautiful woman like yourself, and since he could pull you he might think he can get another one like you. Hes immature but be honest with yourself, were you acting clingy and needy? Where you too focused on him or did you live a happy life outside of this relationship? We must treat all men the same, never let him believe he has you 100% and that you could never leave him.
It’s not oh well this is very painful and hurtful you can’t just take that much time away from someone
It means the interest is not strong enough and he is taking it slow so ladies better follow suit
Oh
This was helpful, because I been single for 5 months and just started putting myself out there, lol I swear, everyone starts out so interested before and during and then slows down the texting, lol I’m a busy person but when I’m interested, I put in the effort.
1.)Lack of attraction
2.)don’t like me enough 3.)he’s not on the same page
Flat out honest. So true. Hard to take but true. Great video. 💖 Women, you’re better than men.
Go date women then.
If he wanted to he would. Always
You are so f*ckin' right. Damn. Your message really made it easier to move on...which has taken a very long and brutal two years. Thank you for being honest.
I have come to realize after dealing with guys like this and wasting my time trying to figure out why they were ghosting me, that any guy that values you and wants a relationship with you will consistently show up for you on a daily basis in some capacity. Instead of trying to figure him out, figure yourself out. Why don’t I think I deserve to be treated better? Why do I accept breadcrumbs and think that’s ok? When you start valuing yourself, you won’t have to deal with these types of guys anymore. It’s all about self love ladies. Took me 55 years to figure that out, but I have and it’s a deal breaker.
My guy suddenly did this after being with me for 4 years. Actually the relationship became rocky after his dad died in December last year. And he tells me that he has other stressors. We do meet occasionally and he tells me he loves me randomly. But the contact has decreased.
Am I the only person who with an avoidant attachment style gets annoyed a little if a guy talks to me much, I feel bad a little about having a hyper independent complex
I think if you truly fall for a man by his looks manners, mind and energy you won't feel pushed or violated in your personal space..the right person will give you balance. Not to much and not to little
I too shut down when a guy texts me a little to much from the start
but it depends on his communication style, vibe and attitude.
If I find him attractive in how he talks and he is laid back, I don't feel intruded.
“That’s what she said.”
Bottom line just don't fall inlove.
He doesn't give a damn
How much each of you give and how little each of you take for granted, will determine the success of a relationship.
💙UA-camr That Helps People Overcome Toxic Relationships
Or he is married
You've said in the past that it's normal for a guy to go a day or 2 or even 3 without talking to you. How many days are you talking about in this video? And does it count if you didn't reach out to him either or only if you did reach out and it takes him days to reply?
He says different things in every video 😂. Sometimes three days without a respond is called breadcrumbing and too much, in others he says as long as its not over four days. I don't think he knows himself
What about if the guys doesn’t think the girl likes him back? This just happened to me with my neighbor. I’m shy around guys that I like and push them away for some reason. I think because I’ve been hurt in the past. I kind of pushed him away when he tried to kiss me. I thought he’d realize I was kidding and that he’d try to kiss me again but he didn’t. This was a year and a half ago. We still hang out and have gone on over 100 walks. Not exaggerating either. He hasn’t tried anything in a year and a half now but he walks super close to me. The other neighbors that we were dating because of how we walked together. We’re always joking with each other and smiling big. He’s also always here for me. I finally tried to explain last week that I like him and that I pushed him away because I got scared but he, either didn’t understand or he’s over me.
If you pushed him away the first time then it’s on you to initiate the next physical move if you want it to go that way.
You fcked up . Big
I'm a male
If he didn't like you. He wouldn't go on walks.
Tell him to kiss you ..be brave .
nah he would try with consent next time and you need to be clear on when you are comfortable for any sort of intimacy, whether it's a kiss or a hug
The whole time I thought you were saying “pain in the canvas” 😂
Same lol
Didn't talk to me for several days and when I confronted him he said why should I be the one who always text? Even tho I do text him and I did last time, like wtf? (Left him btw lol)
I’m glad you left. That’s classic manipulation- he flipped it on you, hoping to make you defend yourself so that he wouldn’t have to explain himself. That’s a big sign to move on.
He a waste of time. No sense in digging out the why
@@Mayfloweralways yes my ex did this. always deflecting to avoid accountability
@@nunuu765 lol probably will come back to u eventually, mine came back 2 months later they always do
@@nunuu765 ofc u dont deserve it girl clearly he's a piece of shit and not worth ur time block him too and move on u deserve better!
Subscribed because of the “I’m sweating in this damn car” and “ha that’s what she said” 🤣🤣
Thank you I appreciate it 🙏
If he tells you to your face…. You deserve better believe him…
I don’t understand why two people have to text and call and talk all the time?! Might be the reason why relationships are so short lived these days. Give space to people, everyone is busy and has work and other duties next by.
I mean yeah you're right but you can't go days without texting someone you love there's nothing hard about doing a 30 min call some texts and you can be busy as you want just don't act like this person doesn't exist it feels so sad to feel like you don't matter to the person you love you don't even get a single text T All
Get a life texting everyday is childish
@@redfather5342 your talking to me ?
He only talks within the first 1-5 hours of him wanting to see me or come over
If I sense it isn’t going anywhere on either one of our ends I just put the ixnay on it. I’d rather be alone then waste my time on something that doesn’t have a snowballs chance in hell? Maybe that’s just me?
There is so much value in your message
I appreciate your answer, thank you.
I had this happen to me, it was 3 days and he has now contacted me. He said he had a really bad week…
What’s wrong with us reaching out? It goes both ways.
He is busy of talking to other women
Either they have a side chick or some other problems. (or they don't understand how to create and upkeep social relations, OR don't want to!) If they are not interested, then why not say it.
Does lack of attraction mean physical attraction? Could a guy be entertaining a woman who he doesn’t think is hot? That’s my biggest fear that I’ve dated men who don’t think I’m a dime.
No. If it was that, he wouldn’t have approached you. It just means that whatever does it for him, he isn’t seeing in you. Maybe he likes loud dominant women and you’re soft and forgiving. Maybe he likes outdoors and you like Netflix and chill. It just means that you two didn’t click in a way that reached his heart for whatever reason.
@@Mayfloweralways okay. It’s happened with men who I’ve approached too. My male coworker told me that he will hook up with women who he doesn’t think is pretty, because sex is sex.
Many men have several women on the side that aren’t ‘the one!’ It’s called plan B, C, D……
@@kimlarso I’m talking about women who they are unattracted to.
Girl, you ARE a dime!!!!!!! He wouldn't have approached you if you weren't.
You crack me up 😂
I do agree with you 100%
Also he’s narcissistic
Or you know we are too old to Chase cars. This dog doesn't hunt. If you wanna associate that is fine but I have a life that I'm quite content in living on my own. Why should I add that extra drama Of chasing After Somebody?
I recently started dating a guy. It's going on 2 months. He has been extremely consisted and putting forth a lot of effort. However, I am a single mom. And another serious factor, we have a significant age gap. Keep in mind, things have still been really good. Anyway, after having a serious talk about our future (suggested by him to have this talk btw) we agreed we probably won't work out in the long run. After that conversation, I didn't hear from him for 3 days. I didn't reach out because I thought we were "over". Then he calls (on facetime) saying he misses me and he doesn't want to stop seeing me. Needless, to say it was a very nice surprise. We may or may not work out but not all space is bad. :)
Oh
Very good video. Very clear, succinct and helpful. Thank you.
“Ha that’s what she said” LMAO😊
Yep it's completely hopeless.!!!!!!!!!!!
Nothing, I can do but I have leave him even though he has children. He wanted to help me out with his children. But he did not love me enough.
"Go very hard and then go soft" I spat my tea out of that one 😂😂😂😂
What is unemotionally available man? Can u do vid bout it?!
Hey Elliot. Does a man think differently when he's really really good looking. I think I'm a strong 7 good 8 when im trying so it's not that I lack confidence in myself but the dudes like a 12 out of 10 on looks. Do I approach this the same as I would every other guy or do looks change a man's approach to dating
Yes looks change the picture. If a dude is super hot then these guys almost always are highly polygamous and they're players. Also try not to fawn over the guys looks because they're used to girls doing this and chasing after them. So don't chase after the guy.
My man came saw me he was so happy see me cuddling hugging me making love me we made me him been together for 5 months going on 6 months he came two hours down see me I was shocked fr the problem is he is around his family communication is the key fr I fkn really love him fr with all my heart I been crying we had our long nights texting conversations ❤ we both love each other we met in person he came to my new house I got
If he can attend his biological needs during the day but has not thought taking a second n shooting you a text. Well then.... [words of my therapist]
I texted him all day for 3 days and I have no response.
I feel abandoned.
How’s everything going?
I called a guy out he said he wanted everything with me but kept dissapearing and appearing holidays and weekends would dissapear so I said either we commit or I'm keeping my options open his answer was his silence even though im hurt i have to value myself
His usual excuse is I'm not big ob texting.
i met this guy at work and we had went out like 2 times and the 3 time we hung out he was leaning towards a kiss. what does that mean. in feel like its too soon.
That's why I kept hanging in there. Now I couldn't give a **** he can go. I'm far too good for him. His loss.
... or he has an avoidant attachment style and after an intense and close moment, he gets scared and need a bit of time to work on his fear and come back.
You just need to give him a bit of space, and when he comes back, don't pressure to go on fast mode again.
Is this a joke? 😂
Oh
Will Ultimatum change emotional unavailable men mindset??
No. It won’t. Because he still doesn’t feel emotionally connected to you.
nope.
Dismissive Avoidants are notorious for this 🥴🥴🥴...
Yes because unhealed they have an insecure attachment style, and are emotionally unavailable
Auch but true. Thanks, though.
We text every 2 3 days he replies everytime or makes convo but if he does there's nothing from him no questions no trying to carry it keeps saying meet then on the day let's me down met once this year he said how it took him a lot out his comfort zone he has anxiety but the excuses every meet up is a joke now I'm like why arrange it then let me down some are even like I'm tired now
RUN!
this made me cry but you’re right he hasn’t talked to me in 4 days. i just blocked him on everything
He never invested. I removed him.
Silence back! No need to text him back I know the speech he gonna said 😂
He said he didn't approach me in two weeks bcz he thought i was gone..he thought i left him.I was surprised after hearing that..i mean how can someone be so cool and not do anything when they realise they are losing their partner..he still says he wants to be with me(after me approaching him btw)
How many days is several days? 2-3? 5-6?
2-3 days
Literally, several means 5-6.
A few means 2-3.
Haven't heard from the guy I’ve been talking to since Xmas day in 2 days now. He did tell me that during the weekend he'd be busy moving so. Maybe that's the case still? Idk if I should just give up?
What do I do when he's serious but I feel like it's not the right time. Then what do I do?
Tell him that & stay in your lane til you’re ready!
@@kimlarso You make it so easy!
@@laurajoy1180 No different than if you were deciding to buy a house (if you can’t afford to give it (whatever ‘it’ may be) your time, money, soul then, you just don’t do it!😉
He's a coward to be gonest
if he did replied back to me but a few hours later, and i didn’t reply back - am i the one ignoring him? but he didn’t reach out to me during the 5 days too
U need to move on from that one!
Relationship is hard to figure out
I used to think women are complicated
Sometimes guys are forgetful and it’s not intentional 🤷🏻♀️
4:05 😂😂😂
Totally Disagree. Let’s be honest you haven’t been with enough women to give this advice Orrrrrr. He’s busy actually making an empire. Orrrr he wants to see if she’s crazy/ clinger etc.
ladies just text him hi handsome that’s it
U guys are heartless 😢😢😢for example he knows i love him more dan anything but has bin silent for 5days
Is this referring to when they don’t respond or initiate for a few days?
I used to make guys do 90% of the initiating and I started learning they thought I wasn’t interested and would stop initiating. I learned I need to initiate 40% of the time if I don’t want to send the wrong message.
@AD-hh6dd they should be doing at least 80%. My experience has been if they're not and I have to reach out after days, it doesn't usually have a good outcome.
@@stefanieleavitt522480% most self respecting guys leave unless they’re simps. I’m currently in a relationship with a guy that wouldn’t commit and it wasn’t until I started reciprocating more and knocked off the petty games like that when he committed. Sometimes we women blame men and fail to realize our part. He and I are doing great. It’s not like me stepping up made him do less. Quite the opposite: once I stepped up, he stepped up even more.
Man went on boys trips with his friends no call no text what that mean
There isn't a "damn good reason" imo
You almost said it..."pork women"
First again?!
😔
You are just so handsome!
Do men forgive cheating?
depends on the guy.
@@ElliotScottDating Alright thanks
No! Males don’t forgive, Men do😄
The real question..do men forgive period lol...if you hurt them in anyway regardless of cheating or making the wrong comment...they seem to stay hurt for the rest of their life
@@touche5029 And they keep bringing it up all the time
I am a stale bread 🍞
You even sound confused 😅😅😅
3:09
I don’t agree with this at all. There is nothing more unattractive than a guy in your face 24/7, it’s needy and lame. I don’t want my guy to call me every day and vice versa. We have a life of our own and other things to do. If he doesn’t call for days it means he has a life and thank god for that!
@A M exactly
I disagree. If you talk to your bf every day it doesn’t mean you don’t have your own lives. Imagine being married. Unless you live in a mansion chances are you’ll be talking/seeing each other all day every day (or a large portion of the day/night) and during Covid many couples worked from home 24/7. A committed monogamous relationship is kind of in preparation to marriage, at least for me that’s the goal. There may be some couples who don’t want to get married at all which is fine but I think the vast majority of women do. I can’t imagine not talking every day, even for just 30 minutes to check in (maybe 15 in the morning and 15 at night) It doesn’t take that much time and effort but it means a lot. It builds and maintains intimacy. A short phone call is a small gesture but it can mean so much. But I think there’s no right or wrong way to go about it as long as both sides agree. If for example the gf wants to talk daily but her bf doesn’t then you can have a big problem. Different desires and expectations. So as long as both parties agree then it’s fine. Not talking for days simply wouldn’t work for me I need more contact
I don't think Elliot means 24/7 but if a guy goes more than 5 days without talking to you then it does become concerning
@@TravelBug189 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
Thank u for this refreshing pov
Women do this crap too
Oh I know. But if I say that they come at me with a pitch fork. It's just as bad on both ends. The irony of it is they hate emotionally unavailable men but don't realize women make up a majority for why men are emotionally unavailable lol. Men don't wake up one day and wanna ruin a woman's life lol.
Geez Change yourself
If he wants to chat me, he can find me. So if he doesnt. Im busy with my life. Make it 8 days of not hearing from you.... i will interpret it's over.
Who knows what is the reason.
Dont make me wait for too long.
I will move on by 8th day lol 😂