It doesn't matter if you meet them online or in real life. They just do this sometimes. It's annoying because they make you feel confused because they initiated the interaction. But it's ok just move on.
Sometimes they suddenly disappear because they want to test you or see if you chase them. It happened to me with two different men. They were just immature.
How can i see if thats the case? He still Checks on every move i do on social Media . And also its not like he didnt Text Back he texted me i answers bit we just dont Text each other cause i never Text hin
Women have to own their power. We can do the same things as the guy. Maybe better depend on what it is, and the person involved. Don't get emotionally involved if you are just his option and not his priority. Always have options, so if he does leave, you have other people to date, or just date yourself. You have to date like the stock market diversify, because that's exactly how men date.
Miss V so much easier to say than do though...I’m in my 30s and haven’t figured out how to do this. When I like someone and I get no bad vibes, I’m all in. I’m gonna make a pamphlet to tell guys that if they can’t keep it real (for REAL) and tell me if they stop catching feelings, then things would be so much better. Act like an adult. 😂
This one guy was showing a lot of interest in me and then stood me up. We never talked again. But now, many months later, he texted me back. I asked who it was since the number looked familiar but wasn't in my contacts. He said his name and I thought he was a guy from my class. He said he wasn't (which is when I realized for sure who it was) and he asked me to guess again. I didn't text him back. He sent me a few more texts after that. Pathetic, he's trying so hard to play me. Glad he stood me up months ago cause I didn't have to deal with him after that. ^__^ guys who go hot and cold should be forgotten cause basically we are forgotten to them!
Women who wants a relationship ... beware if a guy say this to u I don't want to be in a relationship yet there is a missing WORD ... the real sentence is * I don't want to be in a relationship WITH YOU*
Thanks for explaining it all out. I hate being toyed like this and I shouldn't expect so much too. It's difficult to find such person who genuinely likes and interested in you.
Girls, don't give it too much to your guy, don't look for him first but let him look for you first and don't let him know how much you love him because the moment he realize that you can't do without him. He will start using you, because he knows that you love him more than he does.
@@JJ_Jordan0 its alright I've dumped her and am enjoying being single again. I'm not going to waste anymore time or energy on a woman. Sick of getting my heart ripped out and walked all over like a doormat
Yoo Eliot I love how you don't just tell women to find ways to get those guys back. I've been seeing too many videos of how to get a guy to regain their interest in women. Honestly that is just exhausting. Ladies, if you want a serious relationship, don't be someone's second option. You deserve to be someone's one and only.
Just accept the fact he's not interested in you he was only ever in it for one thing and move on... the faster you can accept the truth for what it is the quicker you learn and know better for next time. Lead with the brain and let the heart follow... date with logic.
Lol everyone always talking g about dating several guys and having all these options open at once, that’s rlly not how it works for someone like me who just wants to focus on the person who I actually like. I can’t even fake it with someone who I’m not rlly in to like that, guess I just don’t see how people do it, single life is the life 4 me (:
yeah but what If this all happens when you have contact for almost 2 years & its a long distance relationship 😂 I rly dont know what to do and he came back a week later
3 months is right on target. You are so right about this. Thats when the other weird personality comes out if the person is pretending to be someone they are not. They can't keep up that charade forever because its hard work to constantly be putting on an act. 3 months seems to be the expiration date for the fake personality. And if anyone experiences this wierd out-of-nowhere behaviour that feels like a completely different person (@ or before the 3 month mark), thats when you know for certain that this person put on a fake facade for you to get attached but can no longer continue the acting.
Mine kept up his act Perfectly for twice that time... 6 months!!! Told me every other day he couldn't live without me, that he wanted me as his wife and mother of his babies, only to completely ghost me 3 weeks before we were set to meet. I even called the police, thinking something had happened to him because he'd always say that NOTHING would get in the way of us being together... but the police told me he's doing fine. He's just an as*hole. (Last part added by me.) But yes I was completely blindsided... how could he keep up the perfect act for 6 months? I swear I never noticed anything, which I definitely did in all the men before him.
@@emmaduffy3338i think most of them are very manipulative. It really feels all sincere and civil even but then also showing alarming stuff such as strange jokes and talking very loving, affectionate and then 3 days silence. Each time I planned tp ignore him too amd reply 1 day later but that's not me. He said it made him hapoy to see I cared about him. I thoughts to myself yes great but do yiu also care, worry for me when I'm quiiet for days? Conclusion selfish and nonchalant mf's.
Not always. Many guys sometimes just need a little space to get their thoughts together and digest their true feelings about you. So much of this kind of advice is 'ifs' 'buts' 'maybes' and trying to second guess where the guy is coming from. The fact is that you will NEVER KNOW unless you wait for him to come back then talk to the guy, let him know that you do not like his being distant then reestablish some boundaries and rules going forward. It is then his decision to leave or double down. But to try and second guess him and jump out the exit door without so much as a conversation is to discard what would otherwise have been many good long term relationships.
Exactly what I did. I explained my hurt feelings in a gentle matter. He replied understanding, said he is a disaster for relationship material. When i asked him what's your goal with this contact bc I'm not looking for a text relationship. He replied: goal: meeting up asap, connect and build something beautiful together. I feel good and at home with you and we are getting to know eachother beter. The circumstances just suck atm ( he has 2 businesses and left abroad. He sounded like a regular man ni weird accent and bc his company does exist I gave it benefit of doubt as a legal story). I know it's all just words. I told him tp take it easy with wordt since we still had to meet. Still I got attached and started to care. 5 days ago he wrote love you. Now he's gone lol
Hi, Elliot. I've been watching your videos a lot and i always get to the conclution that men are the worst. It's like we're object to them, and we have to live competing with other women for men that i'm sure, not even worth it. It's really descouraging. I know you want the best for us women but, believe me, we get the worst part in the dating world.
I was totally used. thanks for your videos. I'm totally kicking myself in the ass. I won't go into detail but trying to get over being used is the worst. admitting being used i would like to say is humbling, but really it bruised my ego. I am one of your older followers. its all the same even when you are old. if a guy or gal don't care just say so. it still bruises but damn at least let a girl know. ha. having to analyze behavior gets so tiresome. can you tell I am sad. thanks for your honesty.
So sorry you went through that I know the feeling it’s good you told her how you felt even know it wasn’t all you wanted to say , but I don’t think telling them how we feel matters to them as they don’t care as they’re in a better stage in their life from us helping them to gain power back from trying to get over their ex so we are not needed anymore . But the pain will eventually stop I’m going through it finding out I was the rebound has me all the way messed up I’m so down he begged to be with me cried real tears . He wasn’t over his 55 year old ex ( nothing wrong with older women )that I found out about looking through his phone he was talking to her before during and after we broke up and he continued to use me even after we broke up .me and him are 26 years old . I feel so used and low I did no contact he came back but left because that’s who he wanted he just used me as an option I feel like I’m about to die I can’t get up out my bed I’m so tempted to message him telling him I know he used me as a rebound and go at him but i not sure if that will make me feel better in the long run and tbh I don’t think he would care as he doesn’t take accountability for things and stopped caring about me clearly he gets angry anytime I express myself or try and hold him accountable . We spoke on the phone he said he would ring me back it’s been days he never did . He is probably on to his next rebound already because he can’t get over this ex that pays him no mind so he goes from female to female
Not always true. Sometimes they’re scared of their feelings for you bc they aren’t ready to commit and they know you are. He kept telling me after he finally started saying he loved me that he doesn’t want to lead me on. He said he wanted to still do the single life while he was young but didn’t want to lose me. It put a strain on our relationship and he finally just stopped texting when I was going through other serious issues and he was as well. He even had to go to rehab for alcohol to keep his job! When he got out is when he started acting different like I wasn’t important enough to help. He said he has way too much going on in his life to be involved with anyone.
😂 thats what he told you. Lol. Either way it shows that he doesnt want to be with you, not enough to face his fears or insecurities . i call BS on this. He was using the same old excuse, he wanted benefits of a gf without committing. Simple as that. We need to stop reading mills and boons, this doesnt happen. And even if it does, it’s very rare
the guy i was talking to told me all kinds of condessions of loved. talked to me constantly all day everday, wrote me love poems and stories every other day. made me a playlist, personally about us. we had long talks all the time about us and our future. weddings, kids, etc. then BOOM! "long distance is hard. idk if i can afford to fly to you. even if you could afford to fly to me, would we still like each other? i don't know if i can wait to see you" blahblahblah. the whole thing feels fake and it hurts so much. we had a big conversation about it all as it was transpiring, and i told him my affections for him, but ultimately it was in his hands to make a decision ... then i deleted him on mostly everything on the 9th, and just went silent. he's texted me at least once everyday since the 7th, except today. i think maybe he's given up and/or felt relieved i got the memo :(
It happened to me just under 1 year mark. It destroyed my spirit. Out of no place he started to pull away then stopped communicating. Made me questioning am i bad or have no self worth. I feel he wasn't ready for commitment. Wrong to stringing me along for a year. He promised a life with me, kids, it is totally devastating for me to be left in the cold.
Same thing happened to me after five months. I feel like he was never ready for commitment but he just wanted to sleep with me. He promised EVERYTHING in the first stages, I see now that he was just a player who lies and lies to get what he wants. Dating in this day and age is actually terrible.
@@sarahhaywoodlifestyleedit7720You need to take accountability, as well. Don't sleep with a man unless your committed. Unless your married. I know it's not easy. Don't u know most men will say ANYTHING to get sex? I didn't believe it but now I do. You need a Godly man of integrity. Turn to Jesus.
I’m very wary of guys that seem too eager too early ! I think it’s way better to take it a bit slow . Sometimes it’s not about you it’s about what they think they want . I’m 53 and yes they do it at my age too 😮💀
Finally, Scott, you validated what he refused to. I was so upset when he ghosted. When he finally came back I just wanted him to tell me the truth that he never cared. My instinct told me it is not possible to be so much into someone one minute, and discard them the next. Only conclusion was that he never cared at all and he refused to give me that and instead gave me a bunch of excuses. Where were those excuses the last two years where I gave him my heart????
Alot of people are not in true love relationships. They are in showmances or just together because they don't feel alone. So if you are single and can't find someone don't beat yourself up. Better to be alone with good mental health than in a phoney game prone situations As for sex etc technology does wonders these days.
Same happened to me he went to the trip and didn't inform me later I discovered there were girls too and after that he behaved cold and deleted my number.
Every man is different. I, for one, only stopped texting her when I realized that I was always the one texting first. I just want to see how long before she realizes. It's not that I don't love her anymore, that is the furthest thing from the truth. It's simply a test to see if *she's* interested in talking to me or not.
I should do the same but it would feel like a game. Can't do it but I often planned to ignore his text 3 days to give him a feel of what I felt. To see if he missed me. Instead I told him if I had doubts. If he is mature at 40+ he won't use my transparency. The integer person will treat feelings with respect.
This... made me feel a million times better today. Just what I needed to get myself back on track. It's really not as complicated as we make it sometimes, is it? Thanks, Elliot
Same 😩 but I already know why he lost interest in me . He is interested in a 55year old women (nothing wrong with older women ) me and him are 26 the funny thing is she isn’t interested in the slightest from the messages she ignores him
I appreciate this man. Honestly I'm so fed up with guys. I'm just focusing on myself. I cant stand all these insecurities and all this shit Edit: maybe he had an enlightening phase with the lord or buddha 😂😂
Lol right? What a load of bull.. I have no idea why they even say that when we never asked for their opinion and they themselves don’t even want anything with you.. LOL
You forgot to mention: he stopped texting you because you never texted him first so he gave tf up. It's a 2-player game, if you text first 1 out of 10 times your crown won't fall. We like to know that our feelings are reciprocated. I watched a few videos like this and really like no one ever mentions is when it's such a huge factor.
I actually did text him first many times and he would ignore each and every one of them. He would only talk to me when he initiated the conversations so he was just an attention-seeking, game-playing narcissist.
I've done this to guys. I'm not a romantic. I'd rather be single. I had a friend I actually considered potential,liked him enough to seriously look past his flaws BUT the sex was bad. deal breaker. I immedialty was turned off. 😐
@@JenniferVictorious A guy was going down on me incorrectly. I was feeling his mouth & teeth. A few times I would say baby I just need to feel your tongue. He listened. It's great now. The first few times I had to keep reminding him just your tounge honey. The actual intercourse is good. I try to explain that woman can usually climax from missionary or woman on top. The best is direct stimulation to the clitoris, top is the best. He is also good with using his fingers to rub that area. What ever works. I explained to him, it's best if the woman climax first. You need to try any method that will achieve that. You can't be selfish in the bedroom.
Dude really swept me off my feet within 3 weeks. Investing time and money into me, then somehow realized he wasn’t ready to couldn’t give me the time and attention I needed. Yet I seen him on dating apps yesterday 😂 and he said he was afraid I’d leave him first
I met him online and we been together 7 months and he definitely did delete his dating app. We been perfect for 7 months. Basically has me moved in with him he calls me his girlfriend but he started acting distant yesterday and I'm afraid. I think i should go hone for a few days and see what happens. But I don't know
Mine wouldn't talk to me because he was in love with me. He hated the feelings and became too scared to act on it. He told me so. Ladies sometimes these emotionally immature men really like you, but don't chase them. Make them come back begging for your love. I always know when a guy likes me a lot is when he ignores or doesn't talk to me. Later on I find out. Been happening all my life.
Here’s another ideal. Put more effort in texting first because having the guy text first all the time might give him the ideal your not interested and it’s a total interest killer.
I do this at times but the reason I pull away from people is because of me, I just have to much negative energy, I meet people and well I just wanna work on myself more that’s what I notice from meeting people, I rather be alone then just making A fool out of myself but you are right in a way I bet that’s what all girls think that we use them and but really some people just going through sum and rather work on themselves more like myself but I guess yeah it’s wrong in a way just shutting them out
I've had a guy call me every day for over 10 years who didn't really ever care for me. Over time I began to see that he loved bossing, devaluing, and insulting me. Made him feel superior and powerful, I guess.
that happened to me recently...I dated a man for two months and everything seemed to be ok but after an argument (which was his fault by the way) we haven´t talk anymore.And now I´m quite sad :(
When he does everything in his power to show you he’s really super into you and then ditches because you wouldn’t have sex. Don’t have sex until you know. That’s how you dodge a bullet.
I went through this and it turned out that he was physically incapable of reaching me because of a night of too much alcohol. I was still pissed but felt way better than if he had straight ghosted me.
I like this, no bullshit 👏 finally, some simple honesty that will be useful to spot those time waster guys I am tired of. Thank you Elliot 🤜🤛 also, who else is so tired of those weird and false complex explanations on dating out there? I certaintly am.
I stopped texting because she has a bf and was going out with me. I was interested but can't pursue a girl who has a bf. I would be pissed if my girl was doing shit like that behind my back
You are spot on as always Elliot! ☺ You are The Best dating coach ever! I love your videos and I love listening to you talk. You are very handsome too! ☺❤💋
Thank you. Excellent presentation. Some of the best advice, ever! Sometimes we need to hear the message over and over until it sinks on. Stay At Peace in the Universe.
True. What I don't get is WHY men do that. If you're not into me why faking for a whole year???? Sick people. A man rarely falls in love. If he does, the girl better love him or she's "mean". Women don't do this. We may friendzone a man (I don't do it) but we make it clear that we are not in a romance. Psychopaths.
I multidate NOT multisleep! until I know he's worth it. If he pulls away then it doesn't hurt as much. Don't invest in one man until you know he's the one.
It doesnt always have to be with bad intent. When I catch myself being too clingy and in love with my girl I also tend to disappear for a short while. The absence re-creates a necessary equilibrium
I agree that it has a lot to do with limerence, and when the honeymoon phase wears off, he's not emotionally ready to go on to the next phase of the relationship. I also think it has a lot to do with not being over a past relationship or is recently divorced. A lot of these men are narcissists and if that's the case, you dodged a bullet!
As much as it broke my heart.. this vid really just made me realize it. I've had a streak of 77 w someone who would txt me everyday, every morning saying "good morning beautiful" lol😅.. I really liked him and I was falling. I just didn't wanna fall too fast. I just left my kids dad 2 years ago (6 yr relationship, first bf) and knew I had to wait to get to know him. I knew after at least 60 days he'd switch up.. well everything was great but outta nowhere, he's stopped talking to me..
Ok my question is why does a man pressure to be in a relationship with u but than once u give in he acts like he isn’t even in a relationship isn’t communicating all that well isn’t being affectionate than blames it on his stress and depression says he pulls away when that happens.
Mine kept up his act Perfectly for twice that time... 6 months!!! Told me every other day he couldn't live without me, that he wanted me as his wife and mother of his babies, et cetera, et cetera, only to completely ghost me 3 weeks before we were supposed to meet. I even called the police, thinking something bad had happened to him because he'd always say to me that NOTHING could get in the way of us being together... but the police told me he's doing fine. He's just an as*hole. (Last part added by me.) But yes I was completely blindsided by his ghosting me... I never saw that coming... how could he keep up the perfect act for 6 entire months? He truly did! I swear I never noticed anything, which I definitely did in all the men before him. He was as warm, loving and consistent every single day right up to the end.
I had a guy call me pretty much every day for 10+ years. But, he never would drive to my town to be with me. Finally, he got back with his ex-wife, and had her on a pedestal and treated me like shit. Finally, he dumped me in a day. 🙄
What’s the most annoying thing about these guys is that they dip after they ain’t getting anything back. When you made it clear from the beginning that you just wanted to be friends
I'm so single a mosquito wont even bite me.... for me if a man pulls away I dont even try to follow up w it. I respect his autonomy and keep doing what I need to do. I'm def never pressed.
He said fucking Lord. I dont think i heard that right. Can someone else let me know if i was hearing the wrong or what did i hear.
I probably did so what?
🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@dbedazzling1 SMH. He is so right, that is how he feel he have the right to express his emotions. May God bless him.
@Shelby Abraham That's American speak. Unfortunately, American movies caused that. Live with it ! or learn Chinese or something and move there LOL
It doesn't matter if you meet them online or in real life. They just do this sometimes. It's annoying because they make you feel confused because they initiated the interaction. But it's ok just move on.
Never take advice from a guy with a "Man Bun."
@@2A-Bear-Arms true
Yeah initiated the interaction and went away like whaaaaa 😤🥺😵😵😵
Or we just stay to ourselves.
It might be a blessing to move on. There is all ways a reason for the way things happen.
Just let it go. Cry a little and Live and Breathe!!!
Thanks
Sometimes they suddenly disappear because they want to test you or see if you chase them. It happened to me with two different men. They were just immature.
Merilyn K. Did you chase them?
Not really. We just lose instrest
@B K I just say f him man, shouldn't be playing games.
Just focus on yourself. There's better things in life
@B K that guy must of really pissed you off lol
How can i see if thats the case? He still Checks on every move i do on social Media . And also its not like he didnt Text Back he texted me i answers bit we just dont Text each other cause i never Text hin
I'm about to become a straight up player just like men.
how about dont become an a hole either?
@@archravenineteenseventeen if I want to be an a hole I will be one and you can't do a thing about it.
@@imdifferent7294 hmmm. ok. but you will regret it later.
Only the top 10 percent of men can be players. Women on the other hand even the average woman has options. Get your facts straight.
@@archravenineteenseventeen you don't know that.
Women have to own their power. We can do the same things as the guy. Maybe better depend on what it is, and the person involved. Don't get emotionally involved if you are just his option and not his priority. Always have options, so if he does leave, you have other people to date, or just date yourself. You have to date like the stock market diversify, because that's exactly how men date.
Date yourself in the first place! :) ✌
Date myself?😒
True
The slow fade out and bread crumbing after 7 months is confusing you simply just don’t believe it 😔
Miss V so much easier to say than do though...I’m in my 30s and haven’t figured out how to do this. When I like someone and I get no bad vibes, I’m all in. I’m gonna make a pamphlet to tell guys that if they can’t keep it real (for REAL) and tell me if they stop catching feelings, then things would be so much better. Act like an adult. 😂
i’m honestly sick like i hardly like people and when i do it never goes well i just want love ☹️
Same
I feel the same but I'm a guy I think we are ment to be single
Love does not exist anymore
@@sharonbartley808 facts. Its so temporary. Self love is the only love imo
Same omg!!!!! Like those men who I didn't like back will message me, and those I did, and poured my heart out, are gone.
This one guy was showing a lot of interest in me and then stood me up. We never talked again. But now, many months later, he texted me back. I asked who it was since the number looked familiar but wasn't in my contacts. He said his name and I thought he was a guy from my class. He said he wasn't (which is when I realized for sure who it was) and he asked me to guess again. I didn't text him back. He sent me a few more texts after that. Pathetic, he's trying so hard to play me. Glad he stood me up months ago cause I didn't have to deal with him after that. ^__^ guys who go hot and cold should be forgotten cause basically we are forgotten to them!
Mhm
They are not real men they cant deal with us real women thats why they try to hold on to us go be with. The one who putting up with your cheating ass
Women who wants a relationship ... beware if a guy say this to u I don't want to be in a relationship yet there is a missing WORD ... the real sentence is * I don't want to be in a relationship WITH YOU*
BINGO!!!
Or he just doesn't want any relationship and only wants sex.
True
He said that in the first pLace.
Not necessarily some men just don’t want a relationship and that’s fine.
Hate when guys do this. But I know my worth you’ll never hear from me again.
Elliot I swear ur the realist out here. You give it to us straight no sugar coating! I appreciate u for this
Thank you. I am trying to keep it real
Thanks for explaining it all out. I hate being toyed like this and I shouldn't expect so much too. It's difficult to find such person who genuinely likes and interested in you.
When they go quiet, you go quiet… he’s not worth your worry and stress. Let it go!
Girls, don't give it too much to your guy, don't look for him first but let him look for you first and don't let him know how much you love him because the moment he realize that you can't do without him. He will start using you, because he knows that you love him more than he does.
I have a girl treating me like this right now
@@AustraliaUnmasked1984 awe I'm sorry.... What's happening?
@@JJ_Jordan0 its alright I've dumped her and am enjoying being single again. I'm not going to waste anymore time or energy on a woman. Sick of getting my heart ripped out and walked all over like a doormat
StephenWestSyd Word
You gave me an headsup, i just overcame a toxic relationship in the blink of an eye
Yoo Eliot I love how you don't just tell women to find ways to get those guys back. I've been seeing too many videos of how to get a guy to regain their interest in women. Honestly that is just exhausting. Ladies, if you want a serious relationship, don't be someone's second option. You deserve to be someone's one and only.
Just accept the fact he's not interested in you he was only ever in it for one thing and move on... the faster you can accept the truth for what it is the quicker you learn and know better for next time. Lead with the brain and let the heart follow... date with logic.
im sick of this
🎶🎵I'm so sick of this fake love!🎵🎶 😂😂😂😂😍😍😍😍
🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌
Lol everyone always talking g about dating several guys and having all these options open at once, that’s rlly not how it works for someone like me who just wants to focus on the person who I actually like. I can’t even fake it with someone who I’m not rlly in to like that, guess I just don’t see how people do it, single life is the life 4 me (:
Him : You always have special place in my life.
After 3days
Missing😑
lmao
Wtf accurate lmaooo
yeah but what If this all happens when you have contact for almost 2 years & its a long distance relationship 😂 I rly dont know what to do and he came back a week later
lmaooo
Sick of men altogether 😢🤮
3 months is right on target. You are so right about this.
Thats when the other weird personality comes out if the person is pretending to be someone they are not. They can't keep up that charade forever because its hard work to constantly be putting on an act. 3 months seems to be the expiration date for the fake personality.
And if anyone experiences this wierd out-of-nowhere behaviour that feels like a completely different person (@ or before the 3 month mark), thats when you know for certain that this person put on a fake facade for you to get attached but can no longer continue the acting.
Tracey Nowell omg, that’s what’s happening to me, he’s a complete ass
Bloody spot on this has happened to me the last three times. Any REAL men out there?
Mine kept up his act Perfectly for twice that time... 6 months!!! Told me every other day he couldn't live without me, that he wanted me as his wife and mother of his babies, only to completely ghost me 3 weeks before we were set to meet. I even called the police, thinking something had happened to him because he'd always say that NOTHING would get in the way of us being together... but the police told me he's doing fine. He's just an as*hole. (Last part added by me.) But yes I was completely blindsided... how could he keep up the perfect act for 6 months? I swear I never noticed anything, which I definitely did in all the men before him.
I love a guy but he's friend zone but he's doesn't call you but he's always on your mind
@@emmaduffy3338i think most of them are very manipulative. It really feels all sincere and civil even but then also showing alarming stuff such as strange jokes and talking very loving, affectionate and then 3 days silence. Each time I planned tp ignore him too amd reply 1 day later but that's not me.
He said it made him hapoy to see I cared about him. I thoughts to myself yes great but do yiu also care, worry for me when I'm quiiet for days?
Conclusion selfish and nonchalant mf's.
Not always. Many guys sometimes just need a little space to get their thoughts together and digest their true feelings about you. So much of this kind of advice is 'ifs' 'buts' 'maybes' and trying to second guess where the guy is coming from. The fact is that you will NEVER KNOW unless you wait for him to come back then talk to the guy, let him know that you do not like his being distant then reestablish some boundaries and rules going forward. It is then his decision to leave or double down. But to try and second guess him and jump out the exit door without so much as a conversation is to discard what would otherwise have been many good long term relationships.
Exactly what I did. I explained my hurt feelings in a gentle matter. He replied understanding, said he is a disaster for relationship material.
When i asked him what's your goal with this contact bc I'm not looking for a text relationship.
He replied: goal: meeting up asap, connect and build something beautiful together. I feel good and at home with you and we are getting to know eachother beter. The circumstances just suck atm ( he has 2 businesses and left abroad. He sounded like a regular man ni weird accent and bc his company does exist I gave it benefit of doubt as a legal story).
I know it's all just words. I told him tp take it easy with wordt since we still had to meet.
Still I got attached and started to care.
5 days ago he wrote love you.
Now he's gone lol
You just hurt my feelings! Lol! I love you! You have spoken the truth!!! I will not be so gullible again!
Hi, Elliot. I've been watching your videos a lot and i always get to the conclution that men are the worst. It's like we're object to them, and we have to live competing with other women for men that i'm sure, not even worth it. It's really descouraging. I know you want the best for us women but, believe me, we get the worst part in the dating world.
I was totally used. thanks for your videos. I'm totally kicking myself in the ass. I won't go into detail but trying to get over being used is the worst. admitting being used i would like to say is humbling, but really it bruised my ego. I am one of your older followers. its all the same even when you are old. if a guy or gal don't care just say so. it still bruises but damn at least let a girl know. ha. having to analyze behavior gets so tiresome. can you tell I am sad. thanks for your honesty.
So sorry you went through that I know the feeling it’s good you told her how you felt even know it wasn’t all you wanted to say , but I don’t think telling them how we feel matters to them as they don’t care as they’re in a better stage in their life from us helping them to gain power back from trying to get over their ex so we are not needed anymore . But the pain will eventually stop
I’m going through it finding out I was the rebound has me all the way messed up I’m so down he begged to be with me cried real tears . He wasn’t over his 55 year old ex ( nothing wrong with older women )that I found out about looking through his phone he was talking to her before during and after we broke up and he continued to use me even after we broke up .me and him are 26 years old . I feel so used and low I did no contact he came back but left because that’s who he wanted he just used me as an option I feel like I’m about to die I can’t get up out my bed
I’m so tempted to message him telling him I know he used me as a rebound and go at him but i not sure if that will make me feel better in the long run and tbh I don’t think he would care as he doesn’t take accountability for things and stopped caring about me clearly he gets angry anytime I express myself or try and hold him accountable . We spoke on the phone he said he would ring me back it’s been days he never did . He is probably on to his next rebound already because he can’t get over this ex that pays him no mind so he goes from female to female
Not always true. Sometimes they’re scared of their feelings for you bc they aren’t ready to commit and they know you are. He kept telling me after he finally started saying he loved me that he doesn’t want to lead me on. He said he wanted to still do the single life while he was young but didn’t want to lose me. It put a strain on our relationship and he finally just stopped texting when I was going through other serious issues and he was as well. He even had to go to rehab for alcohol to keep his job! When he got out is when he started acting different like I wasn’t important enough to help. He said he has way too much going on in his life to be involved with anyone.
😂 thats what he told you. Lol. Either way it shows that he doesnt want to be with you, not enough to face his fears or insecurities . i call BS on this. He was using the same old excuse, he wanted benefits of a gf without committing. Simple as that. We need to stop reading mills and boons, this doesnt happen. And even if it does, it’s very rare
the guy i was talking to told me all kinds of condessions of loved. talked to me constantly all day everday, wrote me love poems and stories every other day. made me a playlist, personally about us. we had long talks all the time about us and our future. weddings, kids, etc. then BOOM! "long distance is hard. idk if i can afford to fly to you. even if you could afford to fly to me, would we still like each other? i don't know if i can wait to see you" blahblahblah. the whole thing feels fake and it hurts so much. we had a big conversation about it all as it was transpiring, and i told him my affections for him, but ultimately it was in his hands to make a decision ... then i deleted him on mostly everything on the 9th, and just went silent. he's texted me at least once everyday since the 7th, except today. i think maybe he's given up and/or felt relieved i got the memo :(
It happened to me just under 1 year mark. It destroyed my spirit. Out of no place he started to pull away then stopped communicating. Made me questioning am i bad or have no self worth. I feel he wasn't ready for commitment. Wrong to stringing me along for a year. He promised a life with me, kids, it is totally devastating for me to be left in the cold.
Same thing happened to me after five months. I feel like he was never ready for commitment but he just wanted to sleep with me. He promised EVERYTHING in the first stages, I see now that he was just a player who lies and lies to get what he wants. Dating in this day and age is actually terrible.
Believe actions and patterns.
Damn 💔 very sad
🤗🤗
@@sarahhaywoodlifestyleedit7720You need to take accountability, as well. Don't sleep with a man unless your committed. Unless your married. I know it's not easy. Don't u know most men will say ANYTHING to get sex? I didn't believe it but now I do. You need a Godly man of integrity. Turn to Jesus.
Forever alone. :)
Same...same. But we're awesome. Focus on what makes you happy. 💜
I’m very wary of guys that seem too eager too early ! I think it’s way better to take it a bit slow . Sometimes it’s not about you it’s about what they think they want . I’m 53 and yes they do it at my age too 😮💀
In their 60s too. By that age, the baggage is HEAVY. Y'all stay close to Jesus. Elliot means well but he's not saved.
@@danilaroche1156👏
exactly... ppl often also don't realize that if s.o. is nice to you, it is not b/c YOU are nice, but b/c the person is nice
mssummerrose1 Yes.same for being mean :) ✌ Sadly...
Finally, Scott, you validated what he refused to. I was so upset when he ghosted. When he finally came back I just wanted him to tell me the truth that he never cared. My instinct told me it is not possible to be so much into someone one minute, and discard them the next. Only conclusion was that he never cared at all and he refused to give me that and instead gave me a bunch of excuses. Where were those excuses the last two years where I gave him my heart????
Alot of people are not in true love relationships. They are in showmances or just together because they don't feel alone. So if you are single and can't find someone don't beat yourself up. Better to be alone with good mental health than in a phoney game prone situations As for sex etc technology does wonders these days.
A guy looses sleep to talk to you if he likes you. If he's too busy then too bad. Just forget him n move on but love yourself first.
we were going great for 2 months and then he came back from a trip and started being cold and distant....i didn't chase and left him be
Same happened to me he went to the trip and didn't inform me later I discovered there were girls too and after that he behaved cold and deleted my number.
He found someone else
Every man is different. I, for one, only stopped texting her when I realized that I was always the one texting first. I just want to see how long before she realizes. It's not that I don't love her anymore, that is the furthest thing from the truth. It's simply a test to see if *she's* interested in talking to me or not.
I should do the same but it would feel like a game. Can't do it but I often planned to ignore his text 3 days to give him a feel of what I felt. To see if he missed me.
Instead I told him if I had doubts. If he is mature at 40+ he won't use my transparency.
The integer person will treat feelings with respect.
This... made me feel a million times better today. Just what I needed to get myself back on track. It's really not as complicated as we make it sometimes, is it? Thanks, Elliot
That’s wat I’m say we was texting & he was calling me now he just stop talking to me smh ... and he still watching my instagram stories smh
I swear I’m in the exact situation
I just want to know what made me lost my value... I feel like sht right now and sad all the time...😞
*hug*
@B K thought it was just me phew
*You* didn't lose value, he may have lost interest, many men are adhd these days, you are better off,the right guy will not do that
@@diouranke I thought then when you said ~you're better off~ I read that as ~you're better~ welp.... BOTH of those fit lol! XD
Same 😩 but I already know why he lost interest in me . He is interested in a 55year old women (nothing wrong with older women ) me and him are 26 the funny thing is she isn’t interested in the slightest from the messages she ignores him
This right here is certainly what I needed. he is super stressed, and I have to believe and trust in the bond that we created, give him his space.
For me I can fall out of love so fast when the attraction is gone... call me shallow but it's the truth.
I appreciate this man. Honestly I'm so fed up with guys. I'm just focusing on myself. I cant stand all these insecurities and all this shit
Edit: maybe he had an enlightening phase with the lord or buddha 😂😂
most of the girls nowadays are super tired of guys I feel you so much. I am so tired of this unnecessary BS
What about when a man tells you how great you are and how lucky someone would be to have you....but he isn’t trying to keep u for himself?
Lol right? What a load of bull.. I have no idea why they even say that when we never asked for their opinion and they themselves don’t even want anything with you.. LOL
They have nothing to offer you . Too good for them
This video is helping me I have been ghosted this week after being in touch with a guy for about two months..it hurts but it will go
I am sorry
You forgot to mention: he stopped texting you because you never texted him first so he gave tf up. It's a 2-player game, if you text first 1 out of 10 times your crown won't fall. We like to know that our feelings are reciprocated. I watched a few videos like this and really like no one ever mentions is when it's such a huge factor.
I actually did text him first many times and he would ignore each and every one of them. He would only talk to me when he initiated the conversations so he was just an attention-seeking, game-playing narcissist.
I've done this to guys. I'm not a romantic. I'd rather be single. I had a friend I actually considered potential,liked him enough to seriously look past his flaws BUT the sex was bad. deal breaker. I immedialty was turned off. 😐
skorpia g - same. I was in a long term marriage so I won't put too much time into losing situations now.
Same, girl... same. Oh, well.
Did you try to work on the sex? Sometimes you have to teach, tell, and explain what you like.
Ann Smith I agree. But sometimes they’re not even willing to learn because they don’t think there’s an issue with their sex life. 🤷🏽♀️
@@JenniferVictorious A guy was going down on me incorrectly. I was feeling his mouth & teeth. A few times I would say baby I just need to feel your tongue. He listened. It's great now. The first few times I had to keep reminding him just your tounge honey. The actual intercourse is good. I try to explain that woman can usually climax from missionary or woman on top. The best is direct stimulation to the clitoris, top is the best. He is also good with using his fingers to rub that area. What ever works. I explained to him, it's best if the woman climax first. You need to try any method that will achieve that. You can't be selfish in the bedroom.
I just went to a Tinder wedding... and it was one of the best weddings ever! hehe
Are they still together?
Times have changed, one of my friends met her man from Tinder. They are getting married summer of 2022.
Dude really swept me off my feet within 3 weeks. Investing time and money into me, then somehow realized he wasn’t ready to couldn’t give me the time and attention I needed. Yet I seen him on dating apps yesterday 😂 and he said he was afraid I’d leave him first
Omg!!!! Same feels now! People are just weirdly evil breaking hearts 😔
he pushed away a little after the 90 days for a little bit but now he's back full force but I already see what it's about and now I'm all set w him
Did you figure out why he pushed away?
Damn the truth hurts...😪
Yeah 😢
Check out my course Attraction Academy and get 20% off with discount code: “20off!” bit.ly/cs20ff
Elliot Scott whst is your email?? I need a one on one
Elliot Scott this happened to me - the guy I was seeing for almost 2 months dumped me today
I met him online and we been together 7 months and he definitely did delete his dating app. We been perfect for 7 months. Basically has me moved in with him he calls me his girlfriend but he started acting distant yesterday and I'm afraid. I think i should go hone for a few days and see what happens. But I don't know
@@femmefatale1129 ⁴³⅗t776 u tì
Mine wouldn't talk to me because he was in love with me. He hated the feelings and became too scared to act on it. He told me so. Ladies sometimes these emotionally immature men really like you, but don't chase them. Make them come back begging for your love. I always know when a guy likes me a lot is when he ignores or doesn't talk to me. Later on I find out. Been happening all my life.
Thank you so much :)
I needed to see this
Ya me too needed that reminder
Ty
Nah that's bs. Unhealthy men do this. Healthy men value their time as well as the time of others. Don't fall for that shif
i realized this a few minutes after being confused, hurt, and angry. afterwards, i shrugged it off and said his loss.
Here’s another ideal. Put more effort in texting first because having the guy text first all the time might give him the ideal your not interested and it’s a total interest killer.
I can honestly see it coming nowadays, it’s the “I have butterflies in my tummy when I talk to you” 😂 like ok bruh you’re about to vanish 👋🏻
OMDS😭😭😭 He said that to me a couple of times then after a week he said let’s just be friends😬 His messages became short and dry💀
@@ぐぇん-m3y 💀
It's best to just stay single until the universe sends you who you supposed to be with
Going back to your ex is like taking a shower and putting your dirty clothes back on...sir mr sir...no thanks
@@teanna4569 no joke!!!! The above comments is one of those scammers.
@@madeinhisimage3447 I definitely didn't reach out to him..I assumed it was...good looking out💪
@@teanna4569It depends if the person has changed. Your generalizing.
The Universe? Kay......you sound like a new ager.
I do this at times but the reason I pull away from people is because of me, I just have to much negative energy, I meet people and well I just wanna work on myself more that’s what I notice from meeting people, I rather be alone then just making A fool out of myself but you are right in a way I bet that’s what all girls think that we use them and but really some people just going through sum and rather work on themselves more like myself but I guess yeah it’s wrong in a way just shutting them out
I've had a guy call me every day for over 10 years who didn't really ever care for me. Over time I began to see that he loved bossing, devaluing, and insulting me. Made him feel superior and powerful, I guess.
Thanks for being one of the only real relationship guru 😉
I am the real deal girl!
that happened to me recently...I dated a man for two months and everything seemed to be ok but after an argument (which was his fault by the way) we haven´t talk anymore.And now I´m quite sad :(
I'm bisexual. But prefer to be in relationships with men. I'm seriously considering being exclusively with women. I'm just so tired of all this.
He made out with me and told me he loves me. Then two days later he friend zoned me and said he’s interested in someone else wtf!
When he does everything in his power to show you he’s really super into you and then ditches because you wouldn’t have sex. Don’t have sex until you know. That’s how you dodge a bullet.
I went through this and it turned out that he was physically incapable of reaching me because of a night of too much alcohol. I was still pissed but felt way better than if he had straight ghosted me.
High Empress what happened?
Thank you for being so forthright about these behaviors
You’re actually so right. Your insight is crazy good.
Wait for the real, it's less stressful , no chasing fr💯
Im gonna cry
I like this, no bullshit 👏 finally, some simple honesty that will be useful to spot those time waster guys I am tired of. Thank you Elliot 🤜🤛 also, who else is so tired of those weird and false complex explanations on dating out there? I certaintly am.
My crush and I chatted for like a month or smtg then he just suddenly disappeared 😂
Did he ever come back?
Oh my god you made me chuckle .. “.. BUDDAH” funny. Thanks. Really put some light to the shade. This was the video I needed.
I stopped texting because she has a bf and was going out with me. I was interested but can't pursue a girl who has a bf. I would be pissed if my girl was doing shit like that behind my back
You are spot on as always Elliot! ☺ You are The Best dating coach ever! I love your videos and I love listening to you talk. You are very handsome too! ☺❤💋
Thank you. Excellent presentation. Some of the best advice, ever! Sometimes we need to hear the message over and over until it sinks on. Stay At Peace in the Universe.
What did I do wrong that he didn’t see the value? I am interested about this question
I hate feeling like thisss why do boys have to do thissss
True. What I don't get is WHY men do that. If you're not into me why faking for a whole year???? Sick people. A man rarely falls in love. If he does, the girl better love him or she's "mean". Women don't do this. We may friendzone a man (I don't do it) but we make it clear that we are not in a romance. Psychopaths.
You are right. You confirmed exactly what I told a guy I know. I experienced this
dang, I wish you made this video a week ago. it helps though with processing the shit fest
Thank you Elliott, can't wait for your new value book
I multidate NOT multisleep! until I know he's worth it. If he pulls away then it doesn't hurt as much. Don't invest in one man until you know he's the one.
It doesnt always have to be with bad intent. When I catch myself being too clingy and in love with my girl I also tend to disappear for a short while. The absence re-creates a necessary equilibrium
🤣😂🤣 that goes for us women as well if we don’t like the guy we don’t care much 😂truth hurts!!!😂🤣🤣
honestly i need you in my life lol. how true....hmmm i see it now. eyes wide open. thank you. so appreciative.
I agree that it has a lot to do with limerence, and when the honeymoon phase wears off, he's not emotionally ready to go on to the next phase of the relationship. I also think it has a lot to do with not being over a past relationship or is recently divorced. A lot of these men are narcissists and if that's the case, you dodged a bullet!
When ever I got a problem with a man Elliot the first one I come to 🤣🤣🤣cause everything he says works and is truth 🙌🏻what would we do with out him
As much as it broke my heart.. this vid really just made me realize it. I've had a streak of 77 w someone who would txt me everyday, every morning saying "good morning beautiful" lol😅.. I really liked him and I was falling. I just didn't wanna fall too fast. I just left my kids dad 2 years ago (6 yr relationship, first bf) and knew I had to wait to get to know him. I knew after at least 60 days he'd switch up.. well everything was great but outta nowhere, he's stopped talking to me..
Ok my question is why does a man pressure to be in a relationship with u but than once u give in he acts like he isn’t even in a relationship isn’t communicating all that well isn’t being affectionate than blames it on his stress and depression says he pulls away when that happens.
He needs to get help and learn how to communicate properly like a man.
I love being used and manipulated 😂😑
This is the answer I needed. Thank you so much :).
we both like eachother, but hes scared im rushing but im tryna go his pace cos he keeps flirting with me and then dips
Frst three months : I'll be there for you Forever
Now : Where is he ?
I think the answer is very simple if he would be interested or after the girl he would not pull out it is mean he is not interested in you :)
Mine kept up his act Perfectly for twice that time... 6 months!!! Told me every other day he couldn't live without me, that he wanted me as his wife and mother of his babies, et cetera, et cetera, only to completely ghost me 3 weeks before we were supposed to meet. I even called the police, thinking something bad had happened to him because he'd always say to me that NOTHING could get in the way of us being together... but the police told me he's doing fine. He's just an as*hole. (Last part added by me.) But yes I was completely blindsided by his ghosting me... I never saw that coming... how could he keep up the perfect act for 6 entire months? He truly did! I swear I never noticed anything, which I definitely did in all the men before him. He was as warm, loving and consistent every single day right up to the end.
I had a guy call me pretty much every day for 10+ years. But, he never would drive to my town to be with me. Finally, he got back with his ex-wife, and had her on a pedestal and treated me like shit. Finally, he dumped me in a day. 🙄
I agree ! It was free fall in 2 months ! Then he’s like it’s not gonna work long term…
Omg you explained what happened to me recently. What next? How then do you find the one true person so? The guy who is real? Help.
Deni I feel you on that
What’s the most annoying thing about these guys is that they dip after they ain’t getting anything back. When you made it clear from the beginning that you just wanted to be friends
You ARE my favorite Dating Coach ;) 💗
Sometimes hes rekindling a past relationship
After a 4 year friendship. I thought we were building into more. Then blinded. I did everything for him. No sex. It wasn't like that.
I'm so single a mosquito wont even bite me.... for me if a man pulls away I dont even try to follow up w it. I respect his autonomy and keep doing what I need to do. I'm def never pressed.