It REALLY is an awful piece of fanfiction, one so poorly written and massively incomprehensible that even someone with advanced writing proficiency in English would struggle to read it due to the absurdly high number of grammatical mistakes laced throughout this unholy mess.
“There is no good and evil” is what Leslye Headland told herself each time she ushered aspiring actresses into Harvey Weinstein’s office or hotel room.
"no no, this is a morally grey action! this wasnt evil" leslye says to herself, sweating as another aspiring actress hobbles out of mr weinsteins office in tears "she might be suffering now, but she'll go on to have a great career!" she continues as she struggles to avert her gaze from the poor battered woman
why is no one wondering whether or not she used that power to get her own box munched? she had enormous power to get women "seen/ met" by harvey... why does everyone assume she wouldnt use that power for her own needs? she never said a word, so why is it just assumed a lesbian would never harm other women?.. lesbian domestic violence and divorce rates say other wise...
The Lesbene Gesserit: "you took everything from us!" The Jedi: We don't even know who you are..." I mean, if they're gonna rip shite up, at least let it be good shite...
there really is potential there about the idea of an offworld group fearing the force-sensitives oh wait! The Nihil Cult exists! ...oh wait, they aren't canon anymore
Literally took the idea of the Kaleesh, a different species that fought the jedi in a war. But instead of being led to develop a compelling character like General Grievous, they count and prefer the same sex.
Laundered* American companies get tax benefits for "contributing to the arts," so hollywood is basically an industry that takes money and makes it disappear.
"They won't let women make more than 3 movies." - Lesbian Headlamp. That poor, oppressed soul. As we all know all the men in this country are given the opportunity to make a dozen big-budget Hollywood movies at a minimum.
Yeah. Curse the patriarchy that not only allows male former personal assistants of a Hollywood predator to direct a show but also hands them 180M dollars and one of the largest franchises in existence to make it! Curse the male privilege!
No one will ever say "There'll be no one to stop us this TIME" quite like he did. His Vader inflections (and voice in general) made Vader all the more evil and determined.
It went right over my head when I first heard it. I was more pissed about how he disregards the fact that the death star blew up a fucking planet by then. Then I was like "Wait, Anakin?"
Good to know someone else caught that wee canonical slipup. Did these people just gloss over a few Wookiepedia pages and be like: "No, I got this" instead of actually watching the movies?
"They won't let women make more than 3 films" - Leslye Hedlund Jane Campion The Power of the Dog Holy Smoke The Piano Portrait of a Lady In the Cut Bright Star Sofia Coppola The Beguiled Lost in Translation Priscilla The Bling Ring Marie Antoinette On the Rocks Ida Lupino Outrage Hard Fast and Beautiful Climax The Trouble with Angels Kathryn Bigelow The Hurt Locker Strange Days Zero Dark Thirty Near Dark K-19 The Widowmaker Agnes Varda Faces Places Cleo from 5 to 7 The Beaches of Agnes Vagabond The World of Jacques Demy One sings the other doesnt Other women directors with more than 3 films include.... Greta Gerwig, Nora Ephron, Mary Harron, Lina Wertmuller, Sarah Polly, Chantal Ackerman, Amy Heckerling.... Need I say more.
I thought the goal was just to make good cinema at people would like instead of driving some agenda about having more women in the industry. There would be far more interested, passionate and talented women wanting to get inside the movie industry if Leslie just made good cinema. But her political messaging is so obnoxious that it makes her very unlikable and the product she makes is BAD.
@@g0Blinnn1899 I don't get why people like Andor so much. It's good if compared to the other shows but that doesn't say much. On it's own it's similar to the first season of the Mandalorian...mediocre at best.
Your thoughts on Chekov's gun, the elements of what constitute a character, and your thoughts on how Anakin would have fared with Quigon as a mentor all had me writing notes. I'm only halfway through this, and the wisdom is dense. Great work, Despot.
I genuinely feel sorry for the Korean actor Lee Jung-jae I could tell he was really trying his best, and I actually liked his performance. He deserved better than what he was given
@davidsousa4942 Maybe he'll be offered a much better role in a much better movie in the future? Sir Christopher Lee once famously said, "Every actor must star in a bad film from time to time. The trick is to not be bad in it."
@@osets2117 Manny Jacinto and Adam Driver were both great actors who tried to be menacing villains but were just used for thirst traps/shipping material
Thank goodness, we can fall back on Star Wars legends, there is an ass load of stuff in there that we can get caught up on. Legends is true canon at this point
The Despot returns. I await these videos like a new kind of Christmas. Probably my favourite voice on UA-cam, for the timbre, soothing accent AND the solid criticism.
Sith are musunderstood. Meanwhile Palpatine is literally most evil villain ever, he is much darker than Vader. Lied, killed his own family, manufactured galaxy wide wars, obliterated planets, never loved, never forgiven, never did a "good" thing, not one. Misunderstood villain :p
Honestly, when the Despot maniacally says "am i right boys" it has me in stitches. I have to listen to it more than once because the delivery is just perfection. Thank you Despot for a proper belly laugh.
I don't want to see myself (and a reflection of myself) in a fat padawan, I DO see myself in Luke, Leia, Han Solo, I want them to be a reflection of my true self, not just my body but the personalities, morals and virtues I strive for.
I’d hate to see a reflection of myself in anything. I’d rather see an idealized version of someone I could be, like Aragorn, Frodo, Sam, or Theoden. Holy shit, those people…
Headlamp is a vulnerable narcissist, they always have an excuse and a scapegoat at the ready, instead of admitting to fault or failure, since they are incapable of introspection or unable of taking any sort of responsibility, or criticism, for their actions and behavior.
Back in the day, when unwed pregnant girls were taken to nuneries to give birth, the single most common name of the father was, "there was no father". I had always assumed that Anakin's mom was just saying what most unwed mothers do, not that she was space Mary or something.
Nah nah, Palpatine all but told us Anakin was created, during the bubble opera when he looks at him and says "could influence the midichlorins to create life." I mean he's looking right at the Chosen One as he says it.
"Fat Jedi make no sense" - true. I always thought it pushed credibility (in-universe) when Star Trek actors piled on the pounds - it seems unlikely that an organisation like Starfleet would permit First Officers or Captains to become so out of shape that they were unfit for active duty - but it makes even less sense in an ascetic order like the Jedi.
Forget "ascetic", the Star Wars novels, video games, RPGs have spelled it out in black on white that powerful Force users can use the Force to slow their aging, gain perfect health, gain speed bursts, make themselves immune to pain etc.
@@TheNewRedOne But ... aren't we supposed to _aspire_ to the qualities that hero characters possess and work toward making ourselves more like them - not drag them down so they're a match for what we already are? It's good that these 21st Century "writers" came along to show humanity that we've been doing heroes wrong all these millennia 😉
@@blatherskite3009 Silly rabbit! Bettering yourself? Admiring someone other than yourself? God forbid, reflecting on yourself to find what is lacking? Nah, that's for the chuds, the istophobes, the bigots! You're perfect as you are, and nothing needs to change... Unless you're white, cis, male, and possibly catholic, which mean, you're evil unless you abase yourself to their creed.
"Are you telling me that there was an unsecured roof with a clear line of sight to the target and the assassin was allowed to climb on top of that roof? Surely, an elite force like the jedi could not be this incompetent. This has to be a conspiracy." Sounds like what we've been saying about the Secret Service over here...
To be fair about the Lessening Anakin's birth part, the force brought him to life naturally. The twins were created by people manipulating the force. Leslie did try to undermine Anakin's birth, but failed to do so. She's that incompetent.
Yes and No. The real lessening, is that they put Dark Plagueis in "The Acolyte" reinforcing that he had "the idea" of immortality or creating life because of the witches. [the Force made Anakin in response to Plagueis schemes, therefore, Anakin is a byproduct of the witches creating life]
Anakin's dad was most likely Jabba the Hutt. Shmi just didn't want to tell Anakin or Qui Gon. There's a chance the father was Watto, but i think Jabba is more likely.
"The freedom to use my power as I want" As a reminder: for a sith traditionally that means enslave entire planets and have them worship you as a god. The fact that Lesbo Headlamp doesn't realize this or actually embraces it is fucked up enough that she shouldn't be allowed to go anywhere near any Star Wars project ever again
Do they really think this "deconstruction" shit is original? The entire point of the prequels was to show how flawed the old dogma of the Jedi was, even media of the time followed that idea, like the comics or the amazing KotOR 2, of course, those examples had more to say than "jedi bad", nor did they excused obvious acts of evil...
You're right. Even the final season of the Clone Wars shows that the Jedi aren't flawless. To the common people, they're distant at best, painfully apathetic at worst.
I love how they always bring up media literacy and how the "chuds" severely lack it. When they are the ones that have completely misunderstood the scene in Revenge of the Sith when Anakin says the Jedi are evil from his perspective. No, that doesn't mean the Jedi are actually bad and that there is no good and evil and its all relative. The point of the scene is to show how Anakin's morals and world view have been twisted and corrupted by Palpatine.
Holy shit you're one of the only people online that I have seen actually REALIZE THIS. It's so fucking obvious idk how tards misread the Prequels so much.
I tought that was obvious... apparently below average intelligent people act according to their abilities (or lack thereof) and are given a voice in modern society like never before... no wonder wokeism has become as widespread as it has
“Hey look the gaslit, mentally damaged, multi-manipulated, socially and emotionally stunted baby had a contrasting view of the good guys, must be a totally valid opinion” lol, really says something doesn’t it that it’s him they are citing for their stupid post modern viewpoint.
It's actually ironic they're "subtly" siding with the child murderer when the point of that scene was to show how horrifically distorted Anakin's viewpoints were, but hey, I guess we live in a day and age where we have to consider the feelings of the bastard who gaslit a Jedi into committing mass pedicide.
Bioware's KotOR1 introduced the concept of being grey or in the middle not aligning to either side, but the general idea behind the force alignments in George Lucas' SW was that it had two sides to it. You feed one wolf and it gets stronger. Dark side all the emotions that are considered bad. Guilt, hate, anger and so on. It's funny that they (Disney) just don't get it. Like the characters tell the audience plainly in Lucas' six films what leads you down the path to the dark side. Disney SW pretends its ambiguous when its really not.
I mean why wouldn't we assume that extremely violent and manipulative people that choose names like Bane, Tenebrous, Plagueis, Sidius, or Tyrannus are evil?
@@pikminologueraisin2139 If you're talking about KOTOR2 he was VERY evil leaning when you get him in your party. I'm pretty sure the only character that starts MORE Dark Side is HK.
First of all, this video is a master class into the deconstruction of a television series failure. It should be mandatory viewing for not just critics of Star Wars, but for students of film media in general. I watched the entire thing in one setting and was not only impressed with your deep understanding of the medium but also your ability to communicate nuanced directing and producing styles while keeping an industry neophyte genuinely entertained. However the best part for me though was your "laugh out loud" humor. For example, the fifteen pejorative nicknames you rattled off for Olega Padawan just about had me rolling on the floor. This is the first time I've come across your channel. It won't be the last. Excellent work.
Leslye really looked at Star Wars and thought to herself "hm, not enough moral relatvism". Remember when that was portrayed as an inherently villainous ideology that Anakin adopted in revenge of the sith? Good times.
Yeah that was the exact same encounter with Obi Wan where absolutism was also portrayed as inherently evil, "Only Sith deal in absolutes". 😶 Very consistent George.
@@Fe7AceI personally feel that line was made to show how the Jedi in the era of the republic were hypocritical and misguided due to being drunk with power for 1,000 years. The absolutism in that statement is a twist of cruel irony, Obi Wan is someone who’s struggling against the dark. Yet even he is still under the clouded influence of the order. Yoda learned this but only before it was too late for the Jedi. There’s a lot you can read into Star Wars, I am a fan of small headcanon’s like the one I just provided, there’s definitely objective hard rules set in the universe. Because it’s such a great medium and universe, there are many “certain points of view”.
I appreciate the despot. As a bald white man, I desire to have myself reflected back at me when I consume media. And such quality reflections of myself are rare.
I remember when Buffy was told “you do have a superiority complex. And you've got an inferiority complex about it.” Replace the complexes with white privilege & white guilt and you have individuals ripe for Marxist manipulation and I think that’s modern Hollywood in a nutshell.
The acolyte might have been good if it was an actual mystery. Jedi master trinity turns up dead, no one knows why. A second jedi is murdered and it turns out they have something in common. They rescued an orphan girl whos parents were killed by an unknown person. She was taken back to corusant (with traffic) and trained as a jedi. Through investigation they find that she had twin sister that was taken by the mysterious person. And it's her that's been killing jedi. So now Osha has to investigate her own sister. And hunt her down. Forget the lesbian space witches part, and make the jedi good. And the sith bad. It's not a genius story, but it would be more compelling that what we got which was crap.
Would have improved this show immensely. Ohsa has zero clear motivation. After she saves the cat, she just follows everybody around until the end. She needed a reason to care, something to do.
They're too busy shoving diversity quota into our throats to take care for all these fine details. Heck they don't even care to write proper sensible dialogue.
@corycrandell2682 I would argue that you not being a writer is EXACTLY why you came up with something better... "Writers" that went to school for "writing" are all hoity toity picks that have it stuck in their kind that they must "subvert expectations" or write for a "modern audience". They don't write things people want to read. They want to write what they, exclusively, want people to read. They can't keep their personal politics out of it, because they've been taught almost exclusively to do so. The fact that you DIDN'T include your personal politics and write a decent (albeit kinda generic) idea for a plot means you're vastly more qualified than the Wokalyte writers.
@@dragonmaster1360 I'm not the kind of person who has to see myself or my personal political views in a story. Especially in a galaxy far far away. It has nothing to do with me or my country or my history. It's a fantasy. And that's the point. To take me somewhere that isn't here.
Also the line "Attack me With All Your Strength," is a painfully cringey line. Who the hell talks like that, even characters in Shonen Anime don't say stuff like that right out of the gate.
@insensitive919 😂 Have you heard about that Canadian healthcare pod (though I think it’s somewhere in Europe) that will ship to your house so you can “healthcare” yourself in the comfort of your own home? Once you lie down inside and click GO it’s irreversible. Locked in with zero oxygen. Crazy times
@@theabhorrentchef7226 Holy crap - I had NO idea about this. Sarco suicide pod. Quick review of the article from 2021 but the guy who created it made it 3D printable to "demedicalize" killing yourself. Jeez........
@@theabhorrentchef7226I think it has an emergency exit, but I highly doubt someone would be in any state to abort the healthcare. It’s wild in Canada, you lose your firearms, get an involuntary hold, and have lengthy court battle if you want to healthcare yourself. I doubt it’s because they want to save your life, it’s because you’re robbing the state of the pleasure of doing it you.
Harvey Weinstein's personal assistant used the casting couch to cast her vanity project. (Casting her current girlfriend in the DOUBLE LEAD.) 100% on brand.
She even ripped dialogue off from Kill Bill, I was rewatching them this weekend, the Bride tells Oren in Japanese, “attack me with everything you have”, Harvey’s Woke-colyte lazily stole this and regurgitated it in a greatly depreciated form.
Look at her in interviews with Amandala or whatever her name is-Leslie is suuuper responsive to her, like constantly looking to her for approval, smiling & just gazing at her for a sec, laughing at everything she says... even occasionally trying to make some physical contact - there's a funny moment where she thinks Amandala is going to also turn & lean in for a hug & giggle together... but she doesn't lol so Leslie has to just kind of sink back & grab the armrest instead, unconvincingly. 😂
Always remember despot... Leslie hedland was once Harvey Weinstein's assistant just putting that out... We wouldn't want her to forget that she was an accomplice of everything that Harvey did
Only just dawned on me why they game Lando that treatment. It's _because_ he acted like a suave ladies man. I mean he was actually dropping pickup lines, just about sexually harrassing Leia in Empire. He _kissed her hand_ ! That's absolutely unacceptable behavior in a modern man, we can't have kids thinking that's some kind of role model. They couldn't easily make him an outright villain, but they can make sure they make him a vain and insecure loser who can't get a real woman, because that's obviously the truth about any man who goes around _trying to pick up women_ . He needs to be painted as kind of creepy and desperate, a loser who's so full of himself he actually thinks women would like him, so the scenes in the original film can be watched in the knowledge that he's not actually a suave ladies man, he's putting on a pathetic act, is an embarrassment, it's something to cringe at. I don't know why that wasn't immediately obvious to me before. Obviously they wanted to ruin the character, but it wasn't just in this film they wanted to ruin him, they wanted to retractivly ruin him. Im going to have to examine the others in the same light. Lukes youthful bravado? A show, he was full of shit and failed utterly,showing his true nature in the end when he realized it wasn't all about him. Etc. Because only Rey can be perfect and heroic. They will give the other females some crumbs of credit and not totally destroy them, but the males, they need to be totally torn up and the roots burned.
The weird thing about the lightsaber whip is that it does as much damage as a normal lightsaber and yet it only did a scratch on Smilo Ren's back. It should have cut him in half.
"Immaculate Force Conception"? The Immaculate Conception does NOT mean virgin birth. The IC is the Roman Catholic doctrine that states that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was conceived without Original Sin. The doctrine of the virgin birth is simply referred to as "the virgin birth."
1977 - Opening scene of Star Wars IV - [A New Hope] => MASSIVE CHEER in cinemas everywhere, 2024 - Opening scene of Star Bores [A Stale Tale] => MASSIVE YAWN globally. YAWN!
No need to be hyperbolic, there is way lazier, uninteresting, and downright harmful media out there, it's just Disney plus slop. The only thing it hurt was disneys bottom line and the soul of the franchise.
Despot never ceases to make me cackle with laughter with these nicknames and his perfect delivery 😂😂 Louise XIV, Powerful Leadah Karen Green from HR Ground hog they 😂😂😂 *"AM I RIGHT BOYS!?* Lmfao
2:20 If you were in a cult of space lesbian witches and the jedi came in to investigate the place. Why would you ever tell them that the children you have, have no father? It's one of those lines stealing from previous works because modern writers can't write anything new even if their lives depended on it.
Yeah, exactly! Why risk saying something like, "They have no father! Instead, I used morally ambiguous thread-powers to fertilize an ovum! Because, er... men are... icky?"
That is actually one of the rare things they didnt messed up. Qui gon jinn was the first to do it, discovered the technique. So during the time of the show no one knew how to do that . Although i think they didnt knew that really, probably a happy accident, without the mystery they would have probably included force ghost lol
if you're not lying for internet clout which is pathetic to start with get your priorities right bruh ditching your friends to listen to someone whine on the internet about a children's tv series as an adult is fuckin embarrassing straight up
You know, all joking aside I'm surprised that the Hutts haven't played a larger role in Disney Wars. For those not in the know, Hutt sexuality IS a actually fluid, with them changing genders when needs must. There is a scene in the Yuzhan Vong arc of the EU when a Vong meets with the Hutts to discuss a (temporary) alliance and the Vong asks "what are you?" And the Hutt responds, "Well I am currently female." while pointing to her stomach indicating that she's currently pregnant.
In terms of Fugitive stories, the animated “Clone Wars” had an entire story arc where they basically just retold The Fugitive starring Ahsoka. She’s accused of killing a prisoner, she goes on the run, jumps off a high-thing, etc, etc. The fugitive storyline is so hackneyed in Star Wars at this point.
Nah, Andor actually did a fugitive story well. And it fells good despite it. But it does everything that The Acolyte doesn't. Builds the world, establishes characters and develops them, presents logical avenues for the plot to progress. Doesn't assume the audience is composed solely of morons that are titillated by flashy lights and goofy allegories.
It’s really fucking sad remembering how much I loved Star Wars and watching it disintegrate in front of my eyes over the years like a close family member with dementia, just fucking sad.
This whole video is just pure artistry. I bloody love the nick names you give the characters and your in depth analysis of the plot points. Despot you are truly what youtube needs these days.
And even then, destroying the Death Star was something that had to be done. Even if some of the staff were probably innocent people, it was a powerful destructive weapon that would kill trillions and oppress others. Even if Luke didn’t do it, someone else would’ve.
Bro the shit at the beginning with Powerful Leeda, Bowser, and the koopa, and the part with Shmi and Bill Cosbala got me weak. That's peak Acolyte comedy mate LMFAO
Arguably Kenobi is the worst show. Acolyte is terrbile yes, but at least it doesn't damage established fan-favorite characters. While Kenobi absolutely destroyed everyone, kenobi, vader, leia, bail organa. But still, can't deny acolyte its awfulness
I love how Disney is trying to paint old Star Wars as patriarchal when there was a specifically matriarchal society where women were completely and obviously dominant over men who were considered the weaker gender called the Hapes Consortium composed of dozens of planets which played a significant role in the outcome of the galaxy.
I have to admit Leslie Headland dressed on Imperial Uniforms, although an ironic montage, is the most elegant dress I have seen her on all those interviews.
"And that space burns despite being made of space." If that was the only mistake in the show, you could let it go, but theres so much wrong and they cannot get something so simple right, despite ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY MILLION DOLLARS.
LMFAO NO WAY literally just under 8 hours ago i went to your account because I thought “damn, haven’t seen any of his videos in a while- what’s going on?” i’ve never been this early for anything in my life lol can’t wait to watch
I checked just yesterday. I expect a wait but I was starting to get worried, like what if he abdicated on us? What if he got arrested for saying mean things? I mean he's a Brit after all, that's the way they are going over there.
We cant even say “still a better love story than twilight” because its so much worse And as far as arcane goes thats like comparing apples to a kindergarten drawing of oranges that has been ripped to shreds by leslie hedland and then lit on fire in space
I saw Phantom Menace in the theatre last may for the anniversary and they hyped up the Acolyte trailer afterwards Not one soul stayed behind to watch it.
The bit about the unsecured roof and the Jedi needing to be investigated is pure genius. I’m not sure everyone caught that but I did and that was beautiful brother you hit both nails right on the head.
Return of the Despot! I subscribed a few months ago and have enjoyed all the content you provided. Great stuff! The Napoleon video and Afro queen were great.
Fun fact: Lesley herself said, most of it is her own fanfiction from years ago. So it doesn't just feel like bad fanfiction, it IS bad fanfiction 🤷♂️
It REALLY is an awful piece of fanfiction, one so poorly written and massively incomprehensible that even someone with advanced writing proficiency in English would struggle to read it due to the absurdly high number of grammatical mistakes laced throughout this unholy mess.
Fanfiction is usually better than this
its like one of those awful twilight fanfics written by 12 year olds back in my school days.
where is her A03 lmao
@@guerreiroazul3230 i know for sure my star wars oc fic is💀and im only 11 pages in
“There is no good and evil” is what Leslye Headland told herself each time she ushered aspiring actresses into Harvey Weinstein’s office or hotel room.
Remember, she never witnessed any of it
It just means she wasn't in the room
"no no, this is a morally grey action! this wasnt evil" leslye says to herself, sweating as another aspiring actress hobbles out of mr weinsteins office in tears
"she might be suffering now, but she'll go on to have a great career!" she continues as she struggles to avert her gaze from the poor battered woman
why is no one wondering whether or not she used that power to get her own box munched? she had enormous power to get women "seen/ met" by harvey... why does everyone assume she wouldnt use that power for her own needs? she never said a word, so why is it just assumed a lesbian would never harm other women?.. lesbian domestic violence and divorce rates say other wise...
@@adamheywood113 That's right! She was being 'honest'!
@@BumfluffAddlepate no i agree.. but this conversation is conspicuously absent when discussing lesbo headlamp
The Coven- "The Jedi hunt us relentlessly so that they can destroy us!"
The Jedi- "I'm sorry, who are you?"
The Lesbene Gesserit: "you took everything from us!"
The Jedi: We don't even know who you are..."
I mean, if they're gonna rip shite up, at least let it be good shite...
there really is potential there about the idea of an offworld group fearing the force-sensitives
oh wait! The Nihil Cult exists!
...oh wait, they aren't canon anymore
Basically Sonic vs Surge. The difference is that one is well developed character with a sad backstory and the other is The Acolyte.
@@jocelantonettetenoc5996 IDW comics reference!
Literally took the idea of the Kaleesh, a different species that fought the jedi in a war. But instead of being led to develop a compelling character like General Grievous, they count and prefer the same sex.
"I guess the real Acolyte was the billions of dollars we lost along the way"
- Jar Jar Abrams
Good one! 😅
Fukn brilliant 😂😂😂
Laundered* American companies get tax benefits for "contributing to the arts," so hollywood is basically an industry that takes money and makes it disappear.
YOU, sir, get a thumbs up.
It's like poetry. They rhyme.
"They won't let women make more than 3 movies." - Lesbian Headlamp. That poor, oppressed soul. As we all know all the men in this country are given the opportunity to make a dozen big-budget Hollywood movies at a minimum.
Yeah. Curse the patriarchy that not only allows male former personal assistants of a Hollywood predator to direct a show but also hands them 180M dollars and one of the largest franchises in existence to make it! Curse the male privilege!
If this is what women are capable of, I think we may have to all Taliban up in Hollywood one of these days.
Really? I wonder why???Hmmmmm
Women ☕
I live in Australia, and I'm sick to death of Bob Iger ringing me up and offering me billion dollar projects, just because I'm a white man.
“you can’t control emotions.” idk maybe if you’re a grown adult you can.
It's how you know a woman wrote it.
@@matane2465 lol
I thought that was one of the definitions of an adult. silly me.
Edit; if you're not woke, and an adult you can.
You can control your reaction to emotions. That's not that same.
I still care about Star Wars, just not the one Disney made.
Also, RIP James Earl Jones. You are one with the force now.
Yes, James Earl Jones shall be missed, unlike the Acolyte
he was a national treasure. one of the only actors i'm actually upset that died
I'm in this camp.
With you on all counts.
No one will ever say "There'll be no one to stop us this TIME" quite like he did. His Vader inflections (and voice in general) made Vader all the more evil and determined.
"There is no good and evil" is one of the favorite phrases of evil people, right up there with "You're not my judge!"
There is not good or evil only power (Voldemort) for real this people do not realise they sound like villains
@@victordavila9812 these lesbians/feminists love talking about power
Whoa there!
Cool it with the anti-semitism!
Nietzsche
The reason why they write love letters to serial killers.
“Anakin blowing up the Death Star” wait.. did I fucking miss something here??
I had to pause and find the will to keep living before continuing the video after that.
I laughed so hard when I heard that 😂
It went right over my head when I first heard it. I was more pissed about how he disregards the fact that the death star blew up a fucking planet by then. Then I was like "Wait, Anakin?"
Good to know someone else caught that wee canonical slipup. Did these people just gloss over a few Wookiepedia pages and be like: "No, I got this" instead of actually watching the movies?
The fact he didn't immediately correct himself, or correct himself later, and still wasn't fired speaks volumes.
"They won't let women make more than 3 films" - Leslye Hedlund
Jane Campion
The Power of the Dog
Holy Smoke
The Piano
Portrait of a Lady
In the Cut
Bright Star
Sofia Coppola
The Beguiled
Lost in Translation
Priscilla
The Bling Ring
Marie Antoinette
On the Rocks
Ida Lupino
Outrage
Hard Fast and Beautiful
Climax
The Trouble with Angels
Kathryn Bigelow
The Hurt Locker
Strange Days
Zero Dark Thirty
Near Dark
K-19 The Widowmaker
Agnes Varda
Faces Places
Cleo from 5 to 7
The Beaches of Agnes
Vagabond
The World of Jacques Demy
One sings the other doesnt
Other women directors with more than 3 films include.... Greta Gerwig, Nora Ephron, Mary Harron, Lina Wertmuller, Sarah Polly, Chantal Ackerman, Amy Heckerling.... Need I say more.
I thought the goal was just to make good cinema at people would like instead of driving some agenda about having more women in the industry. There would be far more interested, passionate and talented women wanting to get inside the movie industry if Leslie just made good cinema. But her political messaging is so obnoxious that it makes her very unlikable and the product she makes is BAD.
Feelings don't care about your facts.
To be fair she probably doesn't know who any of those women are.
Nice receipts!
More than three *good* movies
I would add "Up to this point".
that's implicit. He wrote "ever made", not "that will ever be made"
They've cancelled every star wars project. I think they may have reached the breaking point.
@@DelrayJohnson My only hope is that is doesn't impact production of Andor, the one good creation out of Disney star wars.
@@g0Blinnn1899 Andor is already underway, but it will end at the second season. There will not be a third
@@g0Blinnn1899 I don't get why people like Andor so much. It's good if compared to the other shows but that doesn't say much.
On it's own it's similar to the first season of the Mandalorian...mediocre at best.
Your thoughts on Chekov's gun, the elements of what constitute a character, and your thoughts on how Anakin would have fared with Quigon as a mentor all had me writing notes. I'm only halfway through this, and the wisdom is dense. Great work, Despot.
Thanks Math. Glad you found it useful. I greatly appreciate the very generous contribution.
That thumbnail 😂
I guess a demonic lesbian does sum up the spirit of The Acolyte quite well.
looks more like a trash analog horror monster
We learned that lesbians are angry, the end.
Lol yep
Looks like a soyjak
@@morganwoell3515 Off brand alternate looking ass
I genuinely feel sorry for the Korean actor Lee Jung-jae
I could tell he was really trying his best, and I actually liked his performance. He deserved better than what he was given
The guy who did kamir did a decent job as well, both were absolutely wasted on this trash
He even learned english so he could play the role. Hope he comes out with his reputation intact at least.
@davidsousa4942 Maybe he'll be offered a much better role in a much better movie in the future?
Sir Christopher Lee once famously said, "Every actor must star in a bad film from time to time. The trick is to not be bad in it."
@@IronDragon-2143Here’s hoping Squid Game Season 2 is good
@@osets2117 Manny Jacinto and Adam Driver were both great actors who tried to be menacing villains but were just used for thirst traps/shipping material
Disney Star wars is non canon. All of it.
Fans: ha too bad your shows and movies missed the Canon criteria! Disney: all of them?!
Thank goodness, we can fall back on Star Wars legends, there is an ass load of stuff in there that we can get caught up on. Legends is true canon at this point
What about Andor?
Animated shows are good though
Not all of it. Some of it is perfectly fine.
“She’s a powerful leader”
Nothing
“She’s a powerful leader…”
Audience, realizing they should clap and cheer
“Yasss…”
These feminists love talk about power
Anyone who says "I'm a powerful/fierce/beautiful person" isn't truly such.
Paraphrased from Game of Thrones.
that is just the words of someone who was given no script and an idea they know cannot be sold
A powafoe leedah! Yasss YASSSSS!! 😂
I guess the guy with the Applause sign missed his cue.
The Despot returns. I await these videos like a new kind of Christmas. Probably my favourite voice on UA-cam, for the timbre, soothing accent AND the solid criticism.
You don't know how happy I was when I saw the notification.
I'm always waiting for new Mr. Reflection jokes and that "woman screaming at that random guy in a restaurant" scene. 😅
Carey “give me an oscar” mulligan
@@ChocolateHabanero22 For me, Nonplayable Sheep was the best of the 'guest' detractors. 😆
I agree with this statement.
“…enough minority representation to put an NHS waiting room to shame” 💀💀💀
Your "Attack on Lesbos Prime" would have been unironically a better show about space lesbians 😆
I really want to see Attack on lesbos prime. That, and “am i racist” are the only two movies since the early 2000s I would go see in a theater.
I would pay a decently large sum of money to see attack on lesbos prime faithfully adapter as the despot described it
If I was a hyper rich hollywood producer AoLP would be on the top of my list of movies to be made.
It has potential, but I think it could use a more subtle title. I'm thinking something like "Conformity".
We need the Despot’s “Attack on Lesbos Prime.”
Sith are musunderstood. Meanwhile Palpatine is literally most evil villain ever, he is much darker than Vader. Lied, killed his own family, manufactured galaxy wide wars, obliterated planets, never loved, never forgiven, never did a "good" thing, not one. Misunderstood villain :p
Absolute destruction of not only the inane and hateful Acolyte, but the infested national park bathroom sewer of Kathleens Spennedy’s Star Wars.
Thanks for the tip Yung. Much appreciated!
Honestly, when the Despot maniacally says "am i right boys" it has me in stitches. I have to listen to it more than once because the delivery is just perfection. Thank you Despot for a proper belly laugh.
I do about 6 takes of that line every time. I can't do any more because it's hard on my throat.
@@DespotofAntrim Legend!
I don't want to see myself (and a reflection of myself) in a fat padawan, I DO see myself in Luke, Leia, Han Solo, I want them to be a reflection of my true self, not just my body but the personalities, morals and virtues I strive for.
Some people don't have personalities, morals, or virtues, though. This show was made for them.
@@insensitive919 lol
I see myself in Leia indeed ..... too soon???
@@ThereIsAlwaysaWay2Never too soon. That shite is for sensitive idiots.
I’d hate to see a reflection of myself in anything. I’d rather see an idealized version of someone I could be, like Aragorn, Frodo, Sam, or Theoden. Holy shit, those people…
After her fourth movie, it'll be 'they won't let women make more than four movies'.
Headlamp is a vulnerable narcissist, they always have an excuse and a scapegoat at the ready, instead of admitting to fault or failure, since they are incapable of introspection or unable of taking any sort of responsibility, or criticism, for their actions and behavior.
@@brockdavidit’s not only an excuse, it’s also a manipulation tactic. Since it’s not true it’s just a way for her to strongarm another movie.
32:51 Hey thats me! Thanks for the shoutout :D
AmanDALA 😁 I just call her amanda if I have to call her at all. Rock on JLongbone
You're welcome J! I thoroughly enjoyed your video.
That burn about which lady shick she uses was OP
Leslye Headlands writing is about as subtle as a Habsburg jaw
with a B
Habsburg jaw personified
You know she was Harvey Weinstein's personal assistant, right?
In other words, he hired enabler.
Dayum
Powerful leader officially being dubbed “powafolita” almost asphyxiated me laughing
That shit is hilarious.
i love we live at a time where were so deep into trying to not offend to where subtitles are fluent in ebonics now and its just fuckin hilarious
Back in the day, when unwed pregnant girls were taken to nuneries to give birth, the single most common name of the father was, "there was no father". I had always assumed that Anakin's mom was just saying what most unwed mothers do, not that she was space Mary or something.
Who chose to bed with "no father"?
This "no father" dude sure comes around.
Bread Circus makes a similar argument for such in their Phantom Menace breakdown. It's a fun bit of head canon.
Yeah honestly I thought she just meant she didn't know.
Nah nah, Palpatine all but told us Anakin was created, during the bubble opera when he looks at him and says "could influence the midichlorins to create life." I mean he's looking right at the Chosen One as he says it.
"Fat Jedi make no sense" - true. I always thought it pushed credibility (in-universe) when Star Trek actors piled on the pounds - it seems unlikely that an organisation like Starfleet would permit First Officers or Captains to become so out of shape that they were unfit for active duty - but it makes even less sense in an ascetic order like the Jedi.
I think im ready for a wheelchaired jedi
Forget "ascetic", the Star Wars novels, video games, RPGs have spelled it out in black on white that powerful Force users can use the Force to slow their aging, gain perfect health, gain speed bursts, make themselves immune to pain etc.
Unfortunately, Jedi have to be inclusive and body-positive. Otherwise, how can people identify with them.
@@TheNewRedOne But ... aren't we supposed to _aspire_ to the qualities that hero characters possess and work toward making ourselves more like them - not drag them down so they're a match for what we already are?
It's good that these 21st Century "writers" came along to show humanity that we've been doing heroes wrong all these millennia
😉
@@blatherskite3009 Silly rabbit! Bettering yourself? Admiring someone other than yourself? God forbid, reflecting on yourself to find what is lacking? Nah, that's for the chuds, the istophobes, the bigots!
You're perfect as you are, and nothing needs to change... Unless you're white, cis, male, and possibly catholic, which mean, you're evil unless you abase yourself to their creed.
"Are you telling me that there was an unsecured roof with a clear line of sight to the target and the assassin was allowed to climb on top of that roof? Surely, an elite force like the jedi could not be this incompetent. This has to be a conspiracy." Sounds like what we've been saying about the Secret Service over here...
Hey hold up, that does sound familiar...
Maybe the roof had a 5 degrees slant?
To be fair about the Lessening Anakin's birth part, the force brought him to life naturally. The twins were created by people manipulating the force. Leslie did try to undermine Anakin's birth, but failed to do so. She's that incompetent.
And Anakin at least had a chance. Both of these non-koopa tardo girls are worthless and evil
Yes and No. The real lessening, is that they put Dark Plagueis in "The Acolyte" reinforcing that he had "the idea" of immortality or creating life because of the witches. [the Force made Anakin in response to Plagueis schemes, therefore, Anakin is a byproduct of the witches creating life]
@@PEC0TTO
Good point.
The twins were not created at all because Disney Starwars is not Starwars. It's just nonsense.
Anakin's dad was most likely Jabba the Hutt. Shmi just didn't want to tell Anakin or Qui Gon. There's a chance the father was Watto, but i think Jabba is more likely.
"The freedom to use my power as I want"
As a reminder: for a sith traditionally that means enslave entire planets and have them worship you as a god. The fact that Lesbo Headlamp doesn't realize this or actually embraces it is fucked up enough that she shouldn't be allowed to go anywhere near any Star Wars project ever again
It did PROUDLY proclaim it chooses the dark side and the Sith. On camera. While smiling broadly. After it worked for Eps(name redacted).
Do they really think this "deconstruction" shit is original? The entire point of the prequels was to show how flawed the old dogma of the Jedi was, even media of the time followed that idea, like the comics or the amazing KotOR 2, of course, those examples had more to say than "jedi bad", nor did they excused obvious acts of evil...
You're right. Even the final season of the Clone Wars shows that the Jedi aren't flawless. To the common people, they're distant at best, painfully apathetic at worst.
I love how they always bring up media literacy and how the "chuds" severely lack it. When they are the ones that have completely misunderstood the scene in Revenge of the Sith when Anakin says the Jedi are evil from his perspective. No, that doesn't mean the Jedi are actually bad and that there is no good and evil and its all relative. The point of the scene is to show how Anakin's morals and world view have been twisted and corrupted by Palpatine.
Holy shit you're one of the only people online that I have seen actually REALIZE THIS. It's so fucking obvious idk how tards misread the Prequels so much.
It's a very dangerous message.
I tought that was obvious... apparently below average intelligent people act according to their abilities (or lack thereof) and are given a voice in modern society like never before... no wonder wokeism has become as widespread as it has
“Hey look the gaslit, mentally damaged, multi-manipulated, socially and emotionally stunted baby had a contrasting view of the good guys, must be a totally valid opinion” lol, really says something doesn’t it that it’s him they are citing for their stupid post modern viewpoint.
It's actually ironic they're "subtly" siding with the child murderer when the point of that scene was to show how horrifically distorted Anakin's viewpoints were, but hey, I guess we live in a day and age where we have to consider the feelings of the bastard who gaslit a Jedi into committing mass pedicide.
“The Sith aren’t pure evil”
*Plaugeis, Palpatine, and Rey “Skywalker” quietly in the background*
Darth Nihilus currently eating planets
Bioware's KotOR1 introduced the concept of being grey or in the middle not aligning to either side, but the general idea behind the force alignments in George Lucas' SW was that it had two sides to it. You feed one wolf and it gets stronger. Dark side all the emotions that are considered bad. Guilt, hate, anger and so on.
It's funny that they (Disney) just don't get it. Like the characters tell the audience plainly in Lucas' six films what leads you down the path to the dark side. Disney SW pretends its ambiguous when its really not.
I mean why wouldn't we assume that extremely violent and manipulative people that choose names like Bane, Tenebrous, Plagueis, Sidius, or Tyrannus are evil?
@@whitegoose2017 kotor had a mandalorian which you know invade planets and wage war and he's only leaning slightly toward the dark side
@@pikminologueraisin2139 If you're talking about KOTOR2 he was VERY evil leaning when you get him in your party. I'm pretty sure the only character that starts MORE Dark Side is HK.
First of all, this video is a master class into the deconstruction of a television series failure. It should be mandatory viewing for not just critics of Star Wars, but for students of film media in general. I watched the entire thing in one setting and was not only impressed with your deep understanding of the medium but also your ability to communicate nuanced directing and producing styles while keeping an industry neophyte genuinely entertained. However the best part for me though was your "laugh out loud" humor. For example, the fifteen pejorative nicknames you rattled off for Olega Padawan just about had me rolling on the floor. This is the first time I've come across your channel. It won't be the last. Excellent work.
Thank you. And welcome to the channel!
Yes also for guys trying to jump on someones D
Leslye really looked at Star Wars and thought to herself "hm, not enough moral relatvism". Remember when that was portrayed as an inherently villainous ideology that Anakin adopted in revenge of the sith? Good times.
Moral relativism is morally reprehensible.
Yeah that was the exact same encounter with Obi Wan where absolutism was also portrayed as inherently evil, "Only Sith deal in absolutes". 😶 Very consistent George.
@Fe7Ace I won't act like George was a flawless writer but man he was leagues above what we're getting in the Disney era
@@Fe7AceI personally feel that line was made to show how the Jedi in the era of the republic were hypocritical and misguided due to being drunk with power for 1,000 years.
The absolutism in that statement is a twist of cruel irony, Obi Wan is someone who’s struggling against the dark. Yet even he is still under the clouded influence of the order.
Yoda learned this but only before it was too late for the Jedi.
There’s a lot you can read into Star Wars, I am a fan of small headcanon’s like the one I just provided, there’s definitely objective hard rules set in the universe. Because it’s such a great medium and universe, there are many “certain points of view”.
If there's one thing that's good about this show, it's that it made Despot make a 3-plus-hour video on how it sucks.
A season of biting my nails like a crack fiend 😆, well worth enduring.
Worth it 🙌🏼
That's longer than the show
Rookie number compared to The Little Platoon but still entertaining.
Yeah, that's the upside to all these terrible shows and movies from Disney and Amazon Prime: all the video essays tearing them apart.
I've officially watched more minutes of this video than I have of any Disney Star Wars show on Disney+ combined. Well done
I appreciate the despot. As a bald white man, I desire to have myself reflected back at me when I consume media. And such quality reflections of myself are rare.
Reflection of myselfReflection of myselfReflection of myself
Have you checked Breaking Bad?
@inmosh Yeah, but WW is not bald. He just likes to shave his head after chemo.
Dude if you lather and polish your cranium enough, you could squeeze a couple more reflections into the deal. Via your glorious shining bald spot
I remember when Buffy was told “you do have a superiority complex. And you've got an inferiority complex about it.” Replace the complexes with white privilege & white guilt and you have individuals ripe for Marxist manipulation and I think that’s modern Hollywood in a nutshell.
Laughable. No Hollywood writers are that skilled
This is epic.
Top notch editing by the way, the subtle Mulholland Drive nod was such a treat to see
The acolyte might have been good if it was an actual mystery. Jedi master trinity turns up dead, no one knows why. A second jedi is murdered and it turns out they have something in common. They rescued an orphan girl whos parents were killed by an unknown person. She was taken back to corusant (with traffic) and trained as a jedi. Through investigation they find that she had twin sister that was taken by the mysterious person. And it's her that's been killing jedi. So now Osha has to investigate her own sister. And hunt her down.
Forget the lesbian space witches part, and make the jedi good. And the sith bad.
It's not a genius story, but it would be more compelling that what we got which was crap.
Would have improved this show immensely. Ohsa has zero clear motivation. After she saves the cat, she just follows everybody around until the end. She needed a reason to care, something to do.
@@insensitive919I came up with that in about 15 minutes. And I'm not a writer. I'm a welder. I've never written anything in my life.
They're too busy shoving diversity quota into our throats to take care for all these fine details. Heck they don't even care to write proper sensible dialogue.
@corycrandell2682
I would argue that you not being a writer is EXACTLY why you came up with something better... "Writers" that went to school for "writing" are all hoity toity picks that have it stuck in their kind that they must "subvert expectations" or write for a "modern audience". They don't write things people want to read. They want to write what they, exclusively, want people to read. They can't keep their personal politics out of it, because they've been taught almost exclusively to do so.
The fact that you DIDN'T include your personal politics and write a decent (albeit kinda generic) idea for a plot means you're vastly more qualified than the Wokalyte writers.
@@dragonmaster1360 I'm not the kind of person who has to see myself or my personal political views in a story. Especially in a galaxy far far away. It has nothing to do with me or my country or my history. It's a fantasy. And that's the point. To take me somewhere that isn't here.
Also the line "Attack me With All Your Strength," is a painfully cringey line. Who the hell talks like that, even characters in Shonen Anime don't say stuff like that right out of the gate.
It was perfect. It showed the depth of the pool filled with shit we were diving into.
"attack me with all your strength".
Just as cringy as: " Give me the meat, and give it to me raw"
I said it to my cat once, still got the claws scars to this day. 😅
There was not a single writer in this project, it would be abnormal if the writing was good
You are a “true” reviewer of “modern” movies, thank you!
The Canadian health care joke will never grow old.
Neither will we! 😅
@insensitive919 😂
Have you heard about that Canadian healthcare pod (though I think it’s somewhere in Europe) that will ship to your house so you can “healthcare” yourself in the comfort of your own home?
Once you lie down inside and click GO it’s irreversible. Locked in with zero oxygen. Crazy times
@theabhorrentchef7226 we got suicide booths. Futurama predictions starting to come true in our modern dystopia.
@@theabhorrentchef7226 Holy crap - I had NO idea about this. Sarco suicide pod. Quick review of the article from 2021 but the guy who created it made it 3D printable to "demedicalize" killing yourself. Jeez........
@@theabhorrentchef7226I think it has an emergency exit, but I highly doubt someone would be in any state to abort the healthcare. It’s wild in Canada, you lose your firearms, get an involuntary hold, and have lengthy court battle if you want to healthcare yourself. I doubt it’s because they want to save your life, it’s because you’re robbing the state of the pleasure of doing it you.
57:10 "Eat or eat not, there is no leftovers"
I about died at this. All those nicknames were comedy gold. Absolutely hilarious!!
Fatawan using the force to draw the bucket of chicken 🍗 from the Emperor, had me dying 😂😜
The Acolyte was so bad it killed James Earl Jones.
The acolyte makes the Star Wars Christmas special look like Lord of the Rings 😂😭
Remember when THAT was the worst Star Wars media?? Happier times...
"The plus-size of the force" 😂😂 fuckin lmao
Harvey Weinstein's personal assistant used the casting couch to cast her vanity project. (Casting her current girlfriend in the DOUBLE LEAD.)
100% on brand.
She even ripped dialogue off from Kill Bill, I was rewatching them this weekend, the Bride tells Oren in Japanese, “attack me with everything you have”, Harvey’s Woke-colyte lazily stole this and regurgitated it in a greatly depreciated form.
@brockdavid yep, that line just doesn't work in english
Look at her in interviews with Amandala or whatever her name is-Leslie is suuuper responsive to her, like constantly looking to her for approval, smiling & just gazing at her for a sec, laughing at everything she says...
even occasionally trying to make some physical contact - there's a funny moment where she thinks Amandala is going to also turn & lean in for a hug & giggle together... but she doesn't lol so Leslie has to just kind of sink back & grab the armrest instead, unconvincingly. 😂
@@brockdavid well she did describe this show as kill bill meets frozen in an interview
@PrincessLockette so she CAN actually foreshadow properly... funny how that works
Always remember despot... Leslie hedland was once Harvey Weinstein's assistant just putting that out... We wouldn't want her to forget that she was an accomplice of everything that Harvey did
Why is she not in jail.
@@Ergeniz same reason why meril Streep isn't
"there is only 2... an apprentice and a master"
Thanks! The work you put into your videos are amazing and I enjoy them so much, well done and as ever keep up the great work.
Thanks Deano! I really appreciate the tip!
The "NOOOOO!"..."YASSS!" almost made me piss my pants.
I was going to comment this but I knew someone had beat me to it. Freaking hilarious.
Lol I read this before that part and was expecting it to be Vaders Nooooooo from episode 3
That was gold!
I was DYING LAUGHING.
“YAAAAAAASS……!”
Only just dawned on me why they game Lando that treatment. It's _because_ he acted like a suave ladies man. I mean he was actually dropping pickup lines, just about sexually harrassing Leia in Empire. He _kissed her hand_ ! That's absolutely unacceptable behavior in a modern man, we can't have kids thinking that's some kind of role model. They couldn't easily make him an outright villain, but they can make sure they make him a vain and insecure loser who can't get a real woman, because that's obviously the truth about any man who goes around _trying to pick up women_ . He needs to be painted as kind of creepy and desperate, a loser who's so full of himself he actually thinks women would like him, so the scenes in the original film can be watched in the knowledge that he's not actually a suave ladies man, he's putting on a pathetic act, is an embarrassment, it's something to cringe at. I don't know why that wasn't immediately obvious to me before. Obviously they wanted to ruin the character, but it wasn't just in this film they wanted to ruin him, they wanted to retractivly ruin him. Im going to have to examine the others in the same light. Lukes youthful bravado? A show, he was full of shit and failed utterly,showing his true nature in the end when he realized it wasn't all about him. Etc. Because only Rey can be perfect and heroic. They will give the other females some crumbs of credit and not totally destroy them, but the males, they need to be totally torn up and the roots burned.
He was being polite when he kissed her hand, you twat
Not everything has undertones of rape embedded in them
Non-Playable Sheep needs to make more appearances
When we needed his the most, the despot returned....somehow...
I have been despondent, feeling a void in my life lately. I rejoiced at His return. 😢
lol I’ve rewatched that dei video and both Worst of Woke Awards like 5 times waiting for something new from The Despot
Unlike Nu-Palpatine, the Despot arrives exactly according to The Plan.
I lost 75 pounds! If I can do it a fricken heavy ass Jedi can do it.
Congratulations man!
The weird thing about the lightsaber whip is that it does as much damage as a normal lightsaber and yet it only did a scratch on Smilo Ren's back. It should have cut him in half.
Too bad we'll never get that flashback scene...😢....😊....😂😂😂
"Immaculate Force Conception"? The Immaculate Conception does NOT mean virgin birth. The IC is the Roman Catholic doctrine that states that Mary, the mother of Jesus, was conceived without Original Sin. The doctrine of the virgin birth is simply referred to as "the virgin birth."
Bro, I try telling them all the time.
I love how the nerdiest comment in this comment section is about Christianity and not Star Wars.
“Les-BIANE Gesserit” is LEGENDARY
its a masterstroke, i also started hearing Lesbey Hedland, but that might just be my imagination.
1977 - Opening scene of Star Wars IV - [A New Hope] => MASSIVE CHEER in cinemas everywhere,
2024 - Opening scene of Star Bores [A Stale Tale] => MASSIVE YAWN globally.
YAWN!
The Acolyte is possibly the worst piece of MEDIA ever made, not just the worst piece of Star Wars media.
No need to be hyperbolic, there is way lazier, uninteresting, and downright harmful media out there, it's just Disney plus slop. The only thing it hurt was disneys bottom line and the soul of the franchise.
The phrase “there is no good or bad” is simply never something that good people say.
Despot never ceases to make me cackle with laughter with these nicknames and his perfect delivery 😂😂
Louise XIV,
Powerful Leadah
Karen Green from HR
Ground hog they
😂😂😂
*"AM I RIGHT BOYS!?* Lmfao
2:20
If you were in a cult of space lesbian witches and the jedi came in to investigate the place. Why would you ever tell them that the children you have, have no father?
It's one of those lines stealing from previous works because modern writers can't write anything new even if their lives depended on it.
Write what you know, even if it’s transparently hammered home as an overproduced therapy session pasted onto places it doesn’t belong.
"Where is their father?"
"With the Force."
Not a lie. Better line
No original thought
Yeah, exactly! Why risk saying something like, "They have no father! Instead, I used morally ambiguous thread-powers to fertilize an ovum! Because, er... men are... icky?"
How can you have a murder mystery about the jedi? Can't they come back as ghosts and tell you who did it?
Remember, they hired people who had never watch the prequels or the original trilogies.
Don’t think. Just consume product. 😉
That is actually one of the rare things they didnt messed up. Qui gon jinn was the first to do it, discovered the technique. So during the time of the show no one knew how to do that .
Although i think they didnt knew that really, probably a happy accident, without the mystery they would have probably included force ghost lol
@@brotbrotsen1100Well they don't care about the continuity or lore anyway.
@@brotbrotsen1100 This^
Amazing video, glad you held yourself back from “blowing your load” on this before
The fat padawan editing is next lvl hilarious
Regarding the Plotholes section: I'm willing to bet that none of this occurred to Headland at all. None of it.
I just canceled bar hopping with my buddies to stay home and watch this
Wow! That's the highest praise. I almost feel bad. Hope you enjoy it!
Legend
A man with his priorities set the right way. 👊
if you're not lying for internet clout which is pathetic to start with get your priorities right bruh ditching your friends to listen to someone whine on the internet about a children's tv series as an adult is fuckin embarrassing straight up
I'm sure u did
You know, all joking aside I'm surprised that the Hutts haven't played a larger role in Disney Wars. For those not in the know, Hutt sexuality IS a actually fluid, with them changing genders when needs must.
There is a scene in the Yuzhan Vong arc of the EU when a Vong meets with the Hutts to discuss a (temporary) alliance and the Vong asks "what are you?" And the Hutt responds, "Well I am currently female." while pointing to her stomach indicating that she's currently pregnant.
That’s a weird fact I never knew about the Star Wars lore. Thank you dear denizen of the internet.
By changing gender you meant biological sex right?
In terms of Fugitive stories, the animated “Clone Wars” had an entire story arc where they basically just retold The Fugitive starring Ahsoka. She’s accused of killing a prisoner, she goes on the run, jumps off a high-thing, etc, etc.
The fugitive storyline is so hackneyed in Star Wars at this point.
Good point
Nah, Andor actually did a fugitive story well. And it fells good despite it. But it does everything that The Acolyte doesn't. Builds the world, establishes characters and develops them, presents logical avenues for the plot to progress. Doesn't assume the audience is composed solely of morons that are titillated by flashy lights and goofy allegories.
The difference is though is that Clone Wars fugitive arc is actually good and written by a man that understands and loves the Star Wars universe.
DEI = Didn’t Earn It
Derivitive Extortionate Idealogues
Watching The Acolyte ❌
Watching a three and a half hour video of The Despot absolutely tearing The Acolyte and it's wretched existence apart ✅
I can't imagine hating myself so much that I boiled down my entire identity to my skin colour and/or sexual orientation.
Why would you want that?
It's like boiling down your whole identity down to a - UNIFORM!
You kinda answered your own question, it's extreme self loathing.
They are enslaved by their own self worth. They can't even imagine people like us who don't think about these things.
Grievance/oppression culture has been monetized and incentivized.
Narcissism.
I have been waiting for this video! Take my money, you glorious bastard!
Thanks man!
Reverend Mother Scrotum Face is the best thing I’ve heard all week 😂
Lee Jung-Jae was legit trying, which sucks honestly.
It’s really fucking sad remembering how much I loved Star Wars and watching it disintegrate in front of my eyes over the years like a close family member with dementia, just fucking sad.
“DUNK YOUR HEAD UNDER WATER AND SCRUB, YOU FILTHY BASTARD!” Lmao I have no idea why that made me laugh so much 😂
Meat back on the menu bois!!!
Looks like it
Give me the meat and give it to me raw?
I don't know how this man manages to make the words "powerful leadur" as hilarious as he does, but I nearly died of laughing in the first 10 minutes.
This whole video is just pure artistry. I bloody love the nick names you give the characters and your in depth analysis of the plot points.
Despot you are truly what youtube needs these days.
1:00 - The fact he confuses Luke with Anakin is very telling.
I was just about to comment the same thing
@@MyriadColorsCM like all activists, they dont even know the IPs they're hijacking. It's embarrassing.
And even then, destroying the Death Star was something that had to be done. Even if some of the staff were probably innocent people, it was a powerful destructive weapon that would kill trillions and oppress others. Even if Luke didn’t do it, someone else would’ve.
@joshslater2426 Could they just move the planets out the way of the beam? Why is violence the first choice when it comes to solutions?
@@Tomatowormprince This is a joke, right?
wait. THREE HOURS and THIRTY SEVEN MINUTES??? You're too good to us Despot; we don't deserve you.
Three hours and thirty seven minutes ripping this piece of shit a new one. Every second of it warranted too.
Bro the shit at the beginning with Powerful Leeda, Bowser, and the koopa, and the part with Shmi and Bill Cosbala got me weak. That's peak Acolyte comedy mate LMFAO
Arguably Kenobi is the worst show. Acolyte is terrbile yes, but at least it doesn't damage established fan-favorite characters. While Kenobi absolutely destroyed everyone, kenobi, vader, leia, bail organa. But still, can't deny acolyte its awfulness
I love how Disney is trying to paint old Star Wars as patriarchal when there was a specifically matriarchal society where women were completely and obviously dominant over men who were considered the weaker gender called the Hapes Consortium composed of dozens of planets which played a significant role in the outcome of the galaxy.
You vented better than I ever could! I consider watching this legit therapy
I have to admit Leslie Headland dressed on Imperial Uniforms, although an ironic montage, is the most elegant dress I have seen her on all those interviews.
"And that space burns despite being made of space." If that was the only mistake in the show, you could let it go, but theres so much wrong and they cannot get something so simple right, despite ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY MILLION DOLLARS.
It's even worse apparently. Recent reports said that this show cost $230 million.
“The Lesbianejesarit” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I lost it 😂😂
The Death of Mr. Reflection held more emotional weight than 8 episodes of The Acolyte
he never even got to see the reflection of himself...
Wait, what?
LMFAO NO WAY
literally just under 8 hours ago i went to your account because I thought “damn, haven’t seen any of his videos in a while- what’s going on?”
i’ve never been this early for anything in my life lol can’t wait to watch
I checked just yesterday. I expect a wait but I was starting to get worried, like what if he abdicated on us? What if he got arrested for saying mean things? I mean he's a Brit after all, that's the way they are going over there.
Once again, the Despot shows us why he's the king of commentary.
Amazing work, sir.
I am 100% certain they just took the plot from Arcane and the romance from Twilight, and put it through Chat GPT to get the script.
We cant even say “still a better love story than twilight” because its so much worse
And as far as arcane goes thats like comparing apples to a kindergarten drawing of oranges that has been ripped to shreds by leslie hedland and then lit on fire in space
@@Justaperson-on4mx we finally found a romance story worse than Twilight
Even worse, it's a shitty fanfic.
I saw Phantom Menace in the theatre last may for the anniversary and they hyped up the Acolyte trailer afterwards
Not one soul stayed behind to watch it.
😅😅
The bit about the unsecured roof and the Jedi needing to be investigated is pure genius. I’m not sure everyone caught that but I did and that was beautiful brother you hit both nails right on the head.
Return of the Despot! I subscribed a few months ago and have enjoyed all the content you provided. Great stuff!
The Napoleon video and Afro queen were great.