3 common MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES of people in narcissistic relationships

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  • Опубліковано 29 вер 2024
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    DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.
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КОМЕНТАРІ • 441

  • @katrinaporter9226
    @katrinaporter9226 4 місяці тому +96

    I see your emotions Dr. Ramani. You deserve the same validation you've freely given to all of us who are suffering. My heart goes out to you & I just wanted to say thank you for all your time & effort you've given to those who needed to hear your messages. It's meant more to us than words could ever express & it hasn't gone unnoticed! I hope you never forget that fact! You're loved & valued more than you'll ever know Dr. Ramani.. ❤

    • @Rlvpb
      @Rlvpb 4 місяці тому +4

      Totally agree!!! Ty so much Dr. Ramani- prayers for u! God Bless You!! Your work is much needed in this day n time!!!

    • @GeneralButtNake
      @GeneralButtNake 4 місяці тому

      Here ye, hear ye! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️💯✊🏾

    • @sandy10-4Goodbuddy
      @sandy10-4Goodbuddy 3 місяці тому +1

      She's a light for all of us. ❤😊

    • @BethDeVrieze
      @BethDeVrieze 3 місяці тому

      Love this!

  • @rcomyns4664
    @rcomyns4664 4 місяці тому +4

    You are loved. Narcs be damned. So so maddening that they hold such power!

  • @doctoramy1593
    @doctoramy1593 4 місяці тому +16

    thank you for saying this… !

  • @Flaminhotmo247
    @Flaminhotmo247 4 місяці тому +1

    🙏🏾 you are very strong!!! Thank you for sharing this helpful information.

  • @marcydelgado7623
    @marcydelgado7623 3 місяці тому

    I broke out of my narc relationship after 4 yrs. on and off. I am in the healing process. but I cant believe people are like this OMG

  • @randhisramiah5325
    @randhisramiah5325 4 місяці тому +1

    I watch all of your videos, heartbreaking to see you broken down like this.

  • @cherenedreiss2587
    @cherenedreiss2587 4 місяці тому

    You deserve a hug 🤗

  • @akanicolerocks711
    @akanicolerocks711 4 місяці тому

    omg are you okay dr ramani?!

  • @sarahjohanas321
    @sarahjohanas321 4 місяці тому

    thank you

  • @JustaNobody-j8x
    @JustaNobody-j8x 4 місяці тому +124

    Being with a narcissist can really take a toll on one’s mental health, especially feeling worthless because of constant criticism which creates self-doubt, and the depression that comes with it due to the emotional rollercoaster and constant stress.

  • @tictactoedias1908
    @tictactoedias1908 4 місяці тому +123

    Dr Ramani watching you cry broke my heart 😢 I’ve been diagnosed with complex PTSD last year . I’m seeing a fantastic psychologist for over a year , however the jumping out of my skin is still a problem, still intrusive thoughts, lots of triggers of places . Two steps forward, three steps back . Most mornings I’m so anxious takes me at least an hour to calm down , am crying just now as I feel your pain . Thank you for your honesty make me feel I’m not going nuts . You have no idea how much you have help me. I’m reading it’s not you again for the second time . Sending you heartfelt wishes of healing and hugs 🤗
    Thank you , thank you , thank you 🙏

    • @ellalla281
      @ellalla281 4 місяці тому +13

      I really feel feel you. Still getting jumpy when I see a car that looks like his...

    • @Lilylou59
      @Lilylou59 4 місяці тому +12

      Bless you Dr Ramani! I hope your life gets better soon. Yes all the trauma response is real and frightening. Thank you for this session.

    • @victoryamartin9773
      @victoryamartin9773 4 місяці тому +7

      I cried with you too, thinking, crap, it can happen again after recovering to the point of being such a healed wounded healer? I don't know how many rounds of this I can take. I'm at the breaking point already. To consider this kind of trauma happening again makes me want to quit while I'm ahead.

    • @AngieSainty
      @AngieSainty 4 місяці тому +2

      @@victoryamartin9773 Do you mean you want to quit the relationship?

    • @AnnePerkins-po5jo
      @AnnePerkins-po5jo 4 місяці тому +2

      Seeing Dr Ramani triggered made me really want to be there for her, such as I am - still a bit broken, but I have made a good life for myself after learning many hard lessons. I wanted to reach out to everyone going through this. Using DEEP is so very helpful in many situations, but learning not to be triggered into anxiety is harder. I have not really fully succeeded and do lots of avoiding. Also, the bad dreams still come back sometimes, even decades after getting away from the worst situation. I try to steel myself, knowing that the sadistic malignant narcs would enjoy seeing me upset and anxious. Thinking about how sick and sad they must be inside is discomforting to an empath. Letting go is the only way. I love Dr Ramani's mantra of getting educated about narcissism, as it allows us to take back a large amount of control in our lives, and to watch for any 'fleas' we may have picked up from toxic situations.

  • @denisedevoto5703
    @denisedevoto5703 4 місяці тому +105

    When I was 4 years old, I frequently wished I had never been born. I grew up in a toxic family and married two damaged men, the second, I believe, was a really toxic narc. My entire life, I always thought I was depressed and angry. At 55 years of age, I got divorced from my narc and went no contact with my family. It was only a couple of months after I left that I realized I wasn't depressed or angry! That discovery was amazing because I had been told my entire life that I was a depressed and angry person. I am still amazed 5 years later.

    • @sallybaddeley6060
      @sallybaddeley6060 4 місяці тому +14

      I remember that feeling of praying for death as a child. It's horrible. The sad thing is in a toxic family, the non toxic person is seen as the issue even if you're a little child & they're adults who had a toxic dynamic before you were born. I'm so sorry you went through that & so pleased you got away & found yourself.

    • @denisedevoto5703
      @denisedevoto5703 4 місяці тому +5

      @@sallybaddeley6060 I am so sorry for you as well. I don't think there is anything in the world sadder than a child who wishes for death. Sending virtual hugs to you. I also found a wonderful man, and we are healing together. Wishing you all the wonderful things in life.

    • @heymickey4125
      @heymickey4125 4 місяці тому +4

      I’m sad bc I didn’t go no contact. I regret it immensely. I know the feeling you describe now that narc mother is dead. Narc brother who was coddled all his life is now on a smear campaign toward me. I feel it’s my fault for not going no contact a long time ago.

    • @denisedevoto5703
      @denisedevoto5703 4 місяці тому

      @@heymickey4125 my mother is still alive, but I know when she dies my sister will pick up the mantle and continue to smear me. It doesn't matter if you go no contact or not, they are never going to stop talking smack about you. Just live your life, apart from them. That is when you find peace.

    • @turnbacktime65
      @turnbacktime65 4 місяці тому +3

      I know exactly what you mean! Wow.

  • @sushmayen
    @sushmayen 4 місяці тому +195

    Our anxiety gets worse when they are going through tough times. They blame us for everything.

    • @jokendrick2124
      @jokendrick2124 4 місяці тому +21

      Learning to disengage helps immensely. Distance yourself if possible and do not react to them. I learned a long time ago that not reacting minimizes their input as you are no longer a supply source. Its like a kid getting tired of a toy.

    • @marygoodson4920
      @marygoodson4920 4 місяці тому +7

      YES!

    • @KarenWorthinton
      @KarenWorthinton 4 місяці тому +7

      Yesssss!!!!

    • @ISquishWorms
      @ISquishWorms 4 місяці тому +11

      It's always my fault. Even when the milk went off it was my fault for not drinking it quick enough. I made the mistake of pointing out that the milk could have been frozen.

    • @maresnite
      @maresnite 4 місяці тому +18

      Getting diagnosed as depressed, bi-polar, doing whatever they can, to find a category to lump me into.
      My issues come from having to interact daily, with a passive-aggressive covert narcissist.....The attempt to exert control over my entire life is bizarre.

  • @RandyBrady2024
    @RandyBrady2024 4 місяці тому +70

    I am 56 years old. Nearly my entire life has been being abused by narcissists. I was unable to get away from this type of people. I have 1 person left in my life. Due to legal reasons, I can't totally leave. Although, I am distancing myself over time. It took my 5 1/2 years to get over the feelings of depression and anxiety. My life is in fast foreword.

  • @TatianaKornberg
    @TatianaKornberg 4 місяці тому +85

    Going through a trauma can NOT be an excuse for abusing other people.

    • @kc26119
      @kc26119 4 місяці тому

      AGREE!!

    • @masterhypnos6783
      @masterhypnos6783 3 місяці тому

      I want to make a motivational poster with this quote!

    • @Kadeholden
      @Kadeholden 2 місяці тому

      define abuse, because a person in acute pain will probably unknowingly be neglectful, rude or snappy, does that qualify > I don't think it would, nor would someone say im treating you poorly because I was abused, if they do they need mental health services, because that's not a reason a healthy mind reasons

  • @joannecarr2034
    @joannecarr2034 4 місяці тому +46

    Dr Ramani watching you cry broke my heart. Thanks so much for being vulnerable and sharing from your heart. You deserve to be happy. Thanks for helping all of us understand the craziness that has become our life

    • @SusanWillans-b9q
      @SusanWillans-b9q 4 місяці тому +4

      Dr. Ramani-sorry for your troubles, but your people love you. Take care!❤️‍🩹

    • @Sweetbong_
      @Sweetbong_ 3 місяці тому

      💔💔💔

    • @emilyromig7127
      @emilyromig7127 3 місяці тому

      ❤ Thankyou for being strong enough to be vulnerable with what you're dealing with ❤️ I was diagnosed with PTSD 7 years ago - I've only found your channel over the last few months and it's explained my family situation in a way that I can stop wondering if there's a way I can fix it - I've stepped away and already my memory has improved, my sense of calm has improved, my functional gut disorder has improved - EMDR really helped me to take the sting from the original trauma - but understanding the narcissistic family system that I've been dealing with since has really helped me to take my healing into my own hands.
      Thankyou so much for what you do and the hope that you give to people - I've just got your book too.
      I hope you're looking after yourself like you would look after your inner child version x because you're worth it and you deserve it x thank you

  • @annjohnson8437
    @annjohnson8437 4 місяці тому +38

    Thank you for clarifying the difference between clinical depression and the depression that goes along with abuse at the hands of a narcissist. ❤

  • @julieholdcroftbetty8520
    @julieholdcroftbetty8520 4 місяці тому +34

    Thank you so much for being so real. I'm crying with you. Don't forget that you aren't alone.🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

  • @Gardenwitch1954
    @Gardenwitch1954 4 місяці тому +36

    ❤🎉Divorced one month and feeling so much better!

  • @costelloandlizzievolk2233
    @costelloandlizzievolk2233 4 місяці тому +45

    I am a totally different person, healthier and happier, away from the narcissists. It’s heartbreaking to realize what they’ve done to me. Taking myself back and protecting myself. Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

  • @Mkr7942
    @Mkr7942 4 місяці тому +25

    Dr. Ramani, just know that you are saving lives with your work, including this one. Much love and strength is being sent your way, to overcome your current challenges.

  • @serenityhill5695
    @serenityhill5695 4 місяці тому +36

    Thank you, I am avoiding all people who reminds me of my past narcissistic abuse. I have to control myself because I go into defense mode because I’m tied of people bullying me. I just want to be alone. If you’re not good for my mind, body and soul I don’t want you around me. I didn’t know that being kind would be exhausting and abusing.

    • @Twiddledup
      @Twiddledup 4 місяці тому +10

      I feel the same way

    • @montena369
      @montena369 4 місяці тому +6

      Same 😢

    • @opticalmixing23
      @opticalmixing23 4 місяці тому +1

      You hit the nail on the head. This is logical thinking. After so many years, we as humans know what type of people help us and don't, and it is often based on what a person looks like, their physiognomy

    • @weronikaasomsson2404
      @weronikaasomsson2404 4 місяці тому

      When it comes to narcissists- they are one of the big reasons He is stepping in right now!🔥💪♥ He is coming to avenge!
      👉Innocent go first- all the children of the world will disappear first then the adult believers.🥰 Jesus is coming back to pick up all those who accepted His free gift of His death for their sins. Yes, after 2 000 years He is coming back with promised salvation!🙌♥🥳
      As He speaks through the prophets He is sickened by the world: lies, abuse amd manipulations.
      Before He comes we will see Alaska's back to back earthquakes 7.6 and 7.3, we will also see Germany and Russia exchanging missiles. Jesus spoke of it all through his prophets! 🙌❤😊
      Jesus removes His believers and then Apocalypse starts, do not be left for that! 🥹❤You can still call out to Him when kids are gone! Make sure you make Jesus your Lord and Saviour🙌❤He loves you like crazy! He sees you, ♥
      😍

  • @idrawpeopleandanimals
    @idrawpeopleandanimals 4 місяці тому +22

    Thank you so much for this video. And sharing your tears (I was crying right along with you). ❤❤❤

  • @sarah-fina
    @sarah-fina 4 місяці тому +32

    What a light bulb moment… I’m not
    Clinically depressed. Wow it’s him not me… I really needed to hear that.

  • @patticastro503
    @patticastro503 4 місяці тому +18

    This is very interesting as I recently separated from my narcissistic ex.
    I suffer from depression and I meditate. But when he was with me I was always tired and sometimes unable to function, but now I am sad as it was a 30 years relationship, but I am doing much better. In the energy department.

  • @demigaines5644
    @demigaines5644 4 місяці тому +27

    Thank You So Very Much For Sharing This I Needed To Hear This After Being Horribly Abused Psychologically And Emotionally
    I Suffer From Emotional Trauma Mental Health Issues And Health Issues I Also Have A Very Low Self Esteem I Have Excessive Clinginess Anxious Severe Low Self Worth Anxiety And My Worse Is OCD ..From The Horrific Abuse I Suffered Narcissistic Abuse Is Brutal… DR RAMINI YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL WITH A BEAUTIFUL SOUL IM SO GLAD TO KNOW IM NOT ALONE...

  • @wissn2112
    @wissn2112 4 місяці тому +12

    When the narc isn't around. You can actually start to gather your thoughts and goals. There is no yelling or stress. When they show up. It's all about serving their needs constantly. You start to forget important things that needed to be accomplished. Narcs seem to want turmoil and failure in everything.

  • @DisbandedRainbow
    @DisbandedRainbow 4 місяці тому +22

    You deserve to have feelings too. You deserve self love. You deserve to be proud of your accomplishments. Idk what anyone thinks if I’m a narcissist but anyone can see you’re precious in this world and help a lot of people. Thank you. 🙏

  • @kriswinters4225
    @kriswinters4225 4 місяці тому +13

    I lived on campus during college because I earned a full ride scholarship. But my narc parents would force me into their car and drive me back to their house every weekend. I wasn't allowed to drive, but I used the bus or I walked to buy my groceries and get anything else I needed: all things I bought with my money because I worked part time through school. And I did not need anything from their house. But they owned me. I was their property. Any time I said that I wanted to stay at my dorm, malignant narc father would threaten to "beat me senseless" and withdraw me from school. I said wouldn't that be throwing away free money, and he said he didn't care if it "Put Me In My Place".
    The day my college counselor told me it would be better for my mental health to just lie and say I had group projects most weekends, I couldn't stop crying - not tears of sadness, tears of joy. For the first time in my life a grown up was not agreeing that I was a thing or pretending it was ok that two abusers were regularly kidnapping me from my home.

    • @courtneyraewellness
      @courtneyraewellness 22 дні тому

    • @bereal6590
      @bereal6590 15 днів тому

      That's really tough because naturally we don't want to lie. Narc parents teach us to lie to try to avoid their toxicity. It's a rotten place to be.

  • @lynnebucher6537
    @lynnebucher6537 4 місяці тому +11

    I got teary eyed when you shared your current experience. This community understands what you're going through. Thanks for sharing this, and all your knowledge. Take care ❤️

  • @TheLove1Makes
    @TheLove1Makes 4 місяці тому +16

    Dr Ramani Your so helpful on so many different topics. Your a lifesaver. Thanks. Make sure you take care of yourself.

  • @jokendrick2124
    @jokendrick2124 4 місяці тому +78

    I coined a phrase while learning to deal with my late malignant narcissist husband. I quit "feeding the monster" by NOT reacting. It really helped. Try not to feed the monster by being their source of supply.

    • @caroleminke6116
      @caroleminke6116 4 місяці тому

      It’s also called collusion & imo most marriages are simply examples of collusion between two people who simply don’t want to break up that corporation so they fake it

    • @elizabethash4720
      @elizabethash4720 4 місяці тому +2

      Or the hungry crocodile.😊

    • @SandyBee21
      @SandyBee21 4 місяці тому +5

      For many simply remaining within proximity is enough food for a narcissist. That you haven’t left is proof they still have your time & attention.

    • @jokendrick2124
      @jokendrick2124 4 місяці тому +7

      @@SandyBee21 If you are referring to me, I watched my late malignant narcissist husband die of cancer 12 years ago. Did you read what I said initially? My "late"..... Trust me. I am no longer a source of supply. His ashes still sit in my bedroom until I decide to pitch them where he wanted them to go. I don't tolerate narcissists AT ALL. I learned my lesson. I have no need to do so. I have a very strong ego strength and do not suffer fools lightly. Any.

    • @rachelq0077
      @rachelq0077 4 місяці тому +3

      It is incredible how similar all of our experiences are. I also call the malignant covert narcissist that I am divorcing, the monster.
      Knowing what he is & what he has done to me & our son, I find it very difficult to say his given name bc his given name gives him human qualities, which he does not have
      He is a monster.
      It is amazing that you also referred to your late husband as the monster too.

  • @conway8081
    @conway8081 4 місяці тому +13

    The most authentic doctor I’ve ever seen. Period.

  • @lanaawad4199
    @lanaawad4199 4 місяці тому +7

    Hi Doctor Ramani, Thank you for your videos! I was wondering if you could do a video about narcissistic and psychosis? How does it differ from those with psychotic disorder like schizophrenia? I ask because we know in some cases, individuals with borderline personality disorder can have brief psychotic episodes aka transient psychosis. I was wondering if those with narcissistic personality disorder can experience psychosis? Can it be treated or what to do if you have narcissistic going through psychosis? Thank you!

  • @ruthe71
    @ruthe71 4 місяці тому +13

    My youngest daughter used to say to me ‘mum you’re so much more fun when dad’s away!’. I think that says it all and yet when I finally left him my daughters turned against me and I’ve sadly not seen them for 11 years. I grew up with a narcissistic mother and a lot of violence. I then married a man I didn’t love to escape it and after 20 years left him and his emotional abuse. I’ve now been diagnosed with bpd and cptsd. I am currently in a historical trauma program and see the links so clearly now. My body pain is also linked to my trauma but it is starting to get better as I’ve cut all my family out of my life. I prioritise my own health and wellbeing now and am kind to myself ❤

  • @NovaPrincess
    @NovaPrincess 4 місяці тому +7

    Working in a narcissistic workplace is a nightmare. It seems like if you're at a big organization, it's impossible to avoid narcs.

  • @CammieHupp-f9s
    @CammieHupp-f9s 4 місяці тому +19

    I get nausia,, diareah, dizzyness, shortness of breath and my heart beats fast. It's awful

    • @annjohnson8437
      @annjohnson8437 4 місяці тому +3

      Same here. 😢

    • @wissn2112
      @wissn2112 4 місяці тому

      I would get light headed. Her mouth abuse would not stop. They time it so you can go to work everyday and they start their crap 10 min before work. Everyday driving to work angry for years. It's sick.

  • @jodycasey6936
    @jodycasey6936 4 місяці тому +12

    There is no one who has helped me more in the last 5 years than you , Dr. Ramani, and Dr. Les Carter. This video brought on the tears! I’m going to get your book. Thank you
    I’ll see you tomorrow ❤️

  • @alexissdo
    @alexissdo 4 місяці тому +5

    I think growing up with a narcissist parent I have had anxiety and depression from a very young age…it kinda just became my normal until I realized that it was in fact abnormal and worked on healing.

  • @bestimpersonations
    @bestimpersonations 4 місяці тому +10

    Oh, my heart goes out to you. We are all so grateful for your kind, kind spirit.

  • @DD-lr6mm
    @DD-lr6mm 4 місяці тому +11

    Thanks again, this puts a tremendous amount of clarity on emotions during the normal times of sadness versus deep depression and feelings of hopelessness in such relationships...
    Recovering who I am with out all the toxicity has been a long road. I have to say, not over night but improvement is definitely noticable change in daily mood has shifted to genuine and healthy forms of emotions, hope, joy, inspiration. Love your channel.

  • @adrianoduse4048
    @adrianoduse4048 4 місяці тому +8

    I'm so sorry you are going through a tough time, Dr Ramani. Sending you a bug hug and wishing you strength to get over it 🌹

  • @lizprovo3906
    @lizprovo3906 4 місяці тому +9

    I’m sorry you’re going thru a hard time.

  • @PlumbTuckeredOut
    @PlumbTuckeredOut 4 місяці тому +7

    Dr Ramani, let me say how much you have influenced my life and my healing since I started watching you several years ago but this video? This is REAL! I thought I was never going to get better because I wasn't as strong as you seem to be. Dropping your shoulders and your "strong face"fall away has allowed me to recognize that I am strong and I am better! I often have days of tears and angst but knowing you do too has made it all so real for me- the pain was real and the memories will continue but we will win- in the end- we ALL win. Tears show strength, courage, and perseverance... emotions are good!

  • @Rut-vi7iz
    @Rut-vi7iz 4 місяці тому +8

    Sending you the love. I'm sorry for your pain. Sharing it helps me, and hearing you share your pain helps me too. We learn from each other and we can lighten each other's load. I guess I will always startle easily. You might also. ❤❤❤ We will be okay, together, across the miles.❤

  • @bethgotts8031
    @bethgotts8031 4 місяці тому +6

    Thank you so much for sharing. Sometimes I think I’m just an anxious mess and it’s nice to hear that I’m not alone.

  • @fallon7616
    @fallon7616 4 місяці тому +8

    You always have the exact video that I need for the day. I always save your videos 💘
    I'm in a Narrcissict marriage and I am struggling with depression.

  • @lisabumgarner3453
    @lisabumgarner3453 4 місяці тому +5

    This helpful, also if you could direct me If you've already covered how to survive when the narcissistic person was a sole parent who has passed away but the feelings they evoked with their abuse as well as long term effects don't go away even after a few years. ?

  • @TheOrignalTRockz
    @TheOrignalTRockz 4 місяці тому +5

    Thank you for sharing this. Its painful and never gets old, unfortunately. We always have to watch out for our own mental health and calm. I believe it’s not a „mental health issue“, it’s a perfectly normal and healthy reaction and state to this constant abuse, as depression seems to be also an attempt to heal, as the polyvagal theory suggested. So, how do we safe ourselves and stop moving into any unpleasant experiences for ourselves and others while we fight the dragon?

  • @higuchitachibana2228
    @higuchitachibana2228 4 місяці тому +4

    Breaks my heart seeing you hurt Dr. Ramani. You’ve helped me through my hardest days

  • @johannafraguada2747
    @johannafraguada2747 4 місяці тому +6

    Thank you thank you sooo much!!! Thank you to be vulnerable 💞🙏💞 thank you from Tampa Fl.

  • @ruchiekumar8283
    @ruchiekumar8283 4 місяці тому +5

    Doc , thank you so much for having shared this information , your videos are very helpful . I do struggle with self care and struggle in maintaining a routine however am happy when not around them.
    Also , can we please have more information on degrees of narsscisism and is it always linked to a personality disorder .

  • @susanbittner2095
    @susanbittner2095 4 місяці тому +9

    Dr. Ramani ,you are so right about this topic! Narcissists are bullies,, I have experienced this personally and professionly, It is absolutely terrible to experience this! I think they all should be accountable for the abuse tatics that they have done! I wish incarceration was possible in these circumstances! I worked for a company, that was all about this, so selfish, so self- centered, so immature, and so entitled, the true, honest and smart people are overlooked, the narcissitic people and the bullies thrive there, alot of these people should not even be in the positions that they are in! So very very backwards and dysfunctional! I felt so bad for you when you were crying, I have felt this way many times believe me! I appreciate you and what you stand for and all of your smart advice, help, and wisdom on this topic!❣️

    • @specialtwice4975
      @specialtwice4975 4 місяці тому

      No, they are not, they are victims. I think you just can't see it right. (note: sarcasm)

  • @debbieleonhardt9668
    @debbieleonhardt9668 4 місяці тому +5

    Yes!!! My last counsellor says I do have anxiety in the form of a person. When he leaves so does my anxiety. The anxious depression comes when it gets to be too much. I try to carry on with my day but during farming season which is stressful for him he reminds me in words and actions that I really am nothing but a servant to him. He can even be abusive and right after stand in front of the fridge and ask "what's to drink"....yes, I did start a reaction by saying "Open the fridge and look." And then I skadiddled away. My husband says that I clearly have a mental illness with my rollercoaster of emotions. Only when I'm pushed too far. You describe it exactly. I am typically a person that sees the joy everywhere and am very resilient but I get worn down by HIM....the good news is that he does identify that we must spend as little time together as possible. We are a farm family, he goes south for the winter and likes to go camping by himself so it is more possible than in most cases. Thank you. I've been following you for a long time and you get me through a lot! I wish I could reach in and give you a big hug.

  • @theresesilvawalker8407
    @theresesilvawalker8407 4 місяці тому +3

    I think the dreadful things happening in this world are also stripping us bare. It is as if it does not get better. And yet, this too shall pass. I am sorry for whatever or whoever is hurting you. ❤

  • @kierstymiller6305
    @kierstymiller6305 4 місяці тому +4

    Thank you for being so raw and real with us Dr. Ramani. Sending you strength. ✌️❤️

  • @dianaharper1299
    @dianaharper1299 4 місяці тому +6

    Wow…. This is so much more meaningful ❤Sending love ❤️

  • @Michael_Arguello
    @Michael_Arguello 4 місяці тому +6

    I appreciate you opening up about the new thing many are going through including myself. Can’t think of much beyond how I can become a cog in the machine that exposes narcissism and its abus3 and impact on global mental health.
    The work you do is moving mountains. It’s already started.

  • @rakheepatel9212
    @rakheepatel9212 4 місяці тому +4

    Hey all you fellow survivors it’s time to step and crunch all those eggshells they like to make our carpet!

  • @thinkingclearly24
    @thinkingclearly24 4 місяці тому +5

    Dr Ramani You deserve your feelings. I experienced an exaggerated startle response that recently reared its head. I believe this is happening because of dealing with the reality that I am married to vulnerable covert narcissists.

  • @DesHall
    @DesHall 4 місяці тому +9

    ty❤

  • @DreamcloudDesignsLampwork
    @DreamcloudDesignsLampwork 4 місяці тому +9

    Dr. Ramani, I like how transparent you are, by using yourself saying that you, too, have mental health issues. Bravo! Thank you for supporting your own visibility in this turmoil whirlwind of the victimhood the narcissist keeps hitting us with, our mental health issues.
    Role Model, Dr. ramani.
    Your speaking to the heart of our healing community. 😂

  • @redeem372
    @redeem372 4 місяці тому +7

    Thank you for going back over PTSD and Acute Anxiety Disorder again. Its refreshing to not have someone go all over the place when addressing the many different things that can happen when trying to navigate away from narcissistic people and just every day life occurences.❤

    • @redeem372
      @redeem372 4 місяці тому +2

      And the toll you get from people who just don't get it, or haven't experienced enough to recognize the differences in life yet. I'm in tears too, but u have helped me get a grip a many of days. Thanks Dr Ramani

  • @luffypupperstien2706
    @luffypupperstien2706 4 місяці тому +4

    I feel it more as dread than depression. It’s the knowledge that all your bread will have mold and hard as you try to get out of the well you’ll be kicked back down

  • @dr.gama.psychologist
    @dr.gama.psychologist 4 місяці тому +3

    Love and light Dr. Ramani. Thank you for humanising mental health problems. I hope you have the strength to positively navigate this season of yo life.

  • @JustNath2024
    @JustNath2024 4 місяці тому +5

    And thank you sharing so openly your current situation (at the time of the videorecording) and how its affecting you. I recognize how maddening it is to know so much about it, having so much experience already, and still fall into the rattling surprise of yet another toxic situation and / or finding yourself experiencing trauma responses, while thinking having dealt with them for a significant part and then being blind sighted by either all of a sudden, again.
    Huge hugs to you🌟🌟🌟❣
    💫🕊🐛💝🙏🏼💝🦋🕊💫

  • @Kitoni31
    @Kitoni31 4 місяці тому +3

    I'm so sorry you are going through this, my heart is breaking for you and everyone, who's in this💔😢. Honest gentle hugs. And I also know well, how the body keeps score.

  • @ImLearning-e7h
    @ImLearning-e7h 4 місяці тому +3

    Ty for being vulnerable, we see you. You helped so many people.

  • @nickijames5122
    @nickijames5122 4 місяці тому +6

    I’ve suffered with anxiety and panic disorder for years. Narc husband triggered my panic disorder and my generalised anxiety has got 100 times worse, no brainer. I’ve existed ever since my panic disorder which is one big reason I’ve stayed in this abusive, loveless, sexless marriage 😔 Just to think of all the men out there, even had I stayed single, I’m positive I’d have not ended up in a cycle of fear and stress and deep unhappiness. The things I used to be able to do but haven’t done for 27 years, is soul destroying. My adult sons have low mood, depression, and it’s definitely the impact of their dad’s behaviour. He is giving us all the silent treatment, 2 weeks already, yet it’s our elder son’s bday tomorrow. I’m trying to motivate him to go out for lunch but he has been very down lately, not surprising. I feel helpless although I always tell my sons I’m there for them, I understand 😢💜

    • @arezoubk
      @arezoubk 4 місяці тому

      😭😭😭thx for sharing. So I know I’m not the only one😢

  • @KathieMihindukulasuriya
    @KathieMihindukulasuriya 4 місяці тому +4

    I just learned to day that the episodes in my life that I thought were depression were really a reaction to narcissistic abuse - I thought I had cycles of depression, but they were really cycles of reaction to narcissistic abuse. It is really funny, because I have had such extended periods of abuse, that I have felt almost giddy during times without abuse. It is like when I had really bad morning sickness (couldn't even keep water down, throwing up every 5-10 min all day) and I got a prescription for Zofran. My husband took me to iHop and I was raving about everything - the hash browns are incredible, this is the best toast and my husband said, "If you don't hush, people will think I never take you anywhere."

  • @wesleythurman1033
    @wesleythurman1033 4 місяці тому +8

    This is accurate in comparison

  • @takiskettlechips9235
    @takiskettlechips9235 4 місяці тому +3

    "life sucks and then you die" has been my mantra since i was a child. Went no contact with my mother and stopped talking to toxic people and this thought went away for the first time in my life.

  • @supergrover17
    @supergrover17 4 місяці тому +5

    Dr Ramani, sending you warm n loving thoughts for your benefit n for all that you've done for us n in the future. You deserve it just as much as we do. Please take good n gentle care of yourself!! Lots of hugs!!!

    • @PaulineMesplou
      @PaulineMesplou 4 місяці тому +3

      Same, so sorry this is happening to you and thank you for everything that you do, take care ❤

    • @weronikaasomsson2404
      @weronikaasomsson2404 4 місяці тому

      When it comes to narcissists- they are one of the big reasons He is stepping in right now!🔥💪♥ He is coming to avenge!
      👉Innocent go first- all the children of the world will disappear first then the adult believers.🥰 Jesus is coming back to pick up all those who accepted His free gift of His death for their sins. Yes, after 2 000 years He is coming back with promised salvation!🙌♥🥳
      As He speaks through the prophets He is sickened by the world: lies, abuse amd manipulations.
      Before He comes we will see Alaska's back to back earthquakes 7.6 and 7.3, we will also see Germany and Russia exchanging missiles. Jesus spoke of it all through his prophets! 🙌❤😊
      Jesus removes His believers and then Apocalypse starts, do not be left for that! 🥹❤You can still call out to Him when kids are gone! Make sure you make Jesus your Lord and Saviour🙌❤He loves you like crazy! He sees you, ♥
      😍

  • @lynsmalec5484
    @lynsmalec5484 4 місяці тому +3

    Unfortunately u need money to see a mental health professional 😔

    • @AngieSainty
      @AngieSainty 4 місяці тому

      and money to leave ...

  • @Angela-bz8sw
    @Angela-bz8sw 4 місяці тому +2

    I know Dr Ramani, my startle factor is a 10, I did not used to be this way at all. My nervous system is on overload, all the time. I so understand the jumping out of your skin feeling. It is with me all the time.
    Validating the fallout of these toxic relationships has been helpful. And agreed, going to the wrong therapist can further invalidate you.
    You are helping so many with your empathic style. Your new Fireside "Reality Check" channel, is my support group. Thank you for creating this community.
    😃

  • @Jason-xb3jh
    @Jason-xb3jh 4 місяці тому +19

    Unfortunately my situation is multi faceted and complex. There is no question that I am living with the affects of being raised by a narcissistic stepmother since I was 4 years old. I have lost two of my sisters and my dad to horrible car crashes. All separate accidents. I have also lost my mother, uncle and grandfather to suicide. All this is only the half of it.
    My chronic depression is fed by multiple veins. My anxiety levels are fairly high at all times. I also have ptsd on many levels. I think that my lack of confidence and self esteem stems from a life spent with my stepmother. A truly narcissistic woman. In every aspect. Ironically, she is about all that I have left in my immediate family.
    Anymore I feel like the shell of a person that once was. Depression can be oh so dark and very complex. 😔

    • @martinakachlikova8531
      @martinakachlikova8531 4 місяці тому +4

      I wish you brighter future from the bottom of my heart. I hope that you will find DR. Romani a great source of support just as I did.

    • @Grands-1234
      @Grands-1234 4 місяці тому +3

      I was raised by a narc mother and married a narc man.. Get therapy .. get a good therapist ... and go to therapy..

    • @weronikaasomsson2404
      @weronikaasomsson2404 4 місяці тому

      When it comes to narcissists- they are one of the big reasons He is stepping in right now!🔥💪♥ He is coming to avenge!
      👉Innocent go first- all the children of the world will disappear first then the adult believers.🥰 Jesus is coming back to pick up all those who accepted His free gift of His death for their sins. Yes, after 2 000 years He is coming back with promised salvation!🙌♥🥳
      As He speaks through the prophets He is sickened by the world: lies, abuse amd manipulations.
      Before He comes we will see Alaska's back to back earthquakes 7.6 and 7.3, we will also see Germany and Russia exchanging missiles. Jesus spoke of it all through his prophets! 🙌❤😊
      Jesus removes His believers and then Apocalypse starts, do not be left for that! 🥹❤You can still call out to Him when kids are gone! Make sure you make Jesus your Lord and Saviour🙌❤He loves you like crazy! He sees you, ♥
      😍

  • @danovangrinnell4479
    @danovangrinnell4479 4 місяці тому +7

    Out of sight out of mind.Period.😃

  • @daniellesomerfield8799
    @daniellesomerfield8799 4 місяці тому +2

    Christians have the mind of Christ so we don't suffer the same as others. But, like Jesus, we suffer grief, grief affects the heart. A symptom of grief is righteous anger. Jesus immediately entered The Temple and cast out the money changers and He never sinned.
    For who has known the mind of THE LORD JEHOVAH that he may teach him? But we do have the mind of The Messiah. 1 Cor. 2:16 Aramaic
    And when he came near and he saw the city he wept over it. Luke 19:41 Aramaic
    And when he entered The Temple he began to cast out those who bought and sold in it. 46And he said to them, “It is written: 'My house is the house of prayer', but you have made it a den of robbers.'” Luke 19:45, 46 Aramaic
    Truly he [Jesus] has endured our sufferings and carried our sorrows, and we considered him to be beaten and punished by God and afflicted Isa. 53:4 Aramaic

  • @DzsM-rz7gu
    @DzsM-rz7gu 4 місяці тому +3

    I needed to getting through their controlled reality with my independency.I stucked in it many times.That's nonsence how they are thinking.They never understood why I needed alone and with others time as well.They belittled for the with others time but they told I'm too weak alone.
    Like it wasn't normal that people are sometimes with others sometimes alone,weak or not if I'm not a narcissistic I don't care,
    I'm not a horse on the market or a slave for having the power otherwise I won't be sold.
    Years later I know it was only about mocking.Cause they were envy cause I had my ways.But I didn't know in the past.I thought they give me advice cause they know more than me.Biggest failure.Last weak my college checked my muscle in my arms,he told I'm not going to gym do I and I began to screaming with him that I'm not a horse or a slave,he shall not checking my muscle.

  • @PenninkJacob
    @PenninkJacob 4 місяці тому +2

    Sending support, courage, strength, and care to you (Dr. Ram)...sorry you are going through that awful abuse...👍❤❤❤

  • @acasyd
    @acasyd 4 місяці тому +2

    Dr Ramini i been there too, let it out give yourself the biggest loving hug because these experiences is what makes you the best clinical psychologist there is today 🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🥀🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

  • @gaylewilliams5645
    @gaylewilliams5645 4 місяці тому +4

    Yes, it is all of us. 🙌Thank you

  • @mytwicevideo
    @mytwicevideo 4 місяці тому +1

    I used to be very scared of what they would do next basically, if they would kill another of my pets, what they would say to people, and in the end I realized that the worry made my life so much worse. It was an attempt to have control, but as esoteric philosophies say, when you let go of the need to control everything falls into place. It took some training of assuming nothing and realizing that trying to control did not help but made it worse and I kind of sank into a reasonable amount of trying to be aware and accept whatever comes my way, radical acceptance I guess. I know that in certain occasions I should have been more careful and followed the instincts of turning back or whatever might have changed the situation, but eventually so much happens all the time that I cannot even keep a mental list of everything - plus my memory at times has been horrible.

  • @REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh
    @REBEKAHJOHNSON-lh6xh 4 місяці тому +3

    I’ll wish I could go through this video and give you a big, tight hug!! 🫂 God bless you! This video is so profound and eye opening!

  • @elizabethash4720
    @elizabethash4720 4 місяці тому +3

    It's amazing that even well meant reassurance toward an acquaintance, or friend or even relative can invite rejection. Covert narcicism strikes again. I have often felt "wrong"not knowing why. Thanks for clarifying this point.😊

  • @elizabethash4720
    @elizabethash4720 4 місяці тому +3

    Dear Dr Ramany, take some time for yourself, you have given so much hope to so many. Thankyou.😊,

  • @turnbacktime65
    @turnbacktime65 4 місяці тому +2

    I knew it was him when I came back from the spa. Had a great couple hours alone. Chatting with women. Giggling, fun gossiping, relaxing. The second my foot hit the door frame on the return trip I hear “ I need you to do …..”. I deflated like a balloon without helium. It’s like living with a toddler all the time. He had the audacity to tell his daughter I treat him like a child. What the…..

  • @ThomasDuBose-r2y
    @ThomasDuBose-r2y 4 місяці тому +2

    We love you and support you! Thank you for your open heart and willingness to be transparent with the world!

  • @colleensullivan7377
    @colleensullivan7377 4 місяці тому +2

    You beautiful lady. Thankyou for all you give to others.❤

  • @JohannaVanDreumel
    @JohannaVanDreumel 4 місяці тому +2

    This Podcast, is EXACTLY, how i am struggling post Narc Long term marriage.
    But Dr Ramani How i wished to be able to give you a loving, warm hug All the way from Australia.
    You are such a loving, meaningful, non judgemental Educator.
    Bless you, and A Hug from Australia

  • @koricoconut4293
    @koricoconut4293 4 місяці тому +3

    The gaslighting is really soul crushing

  • @NotIt1024
    @NotIt1024 4 місяці тому +4

    0:29 Depression vs. Clinical Depression
    11:58 Normal Anxiety vs. Generalized Anxiety Disorder
    26:23 PTSD- Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

    • @PS-vm3we
      @PS-vm3we 4 місяці тому +3

      Thank you so much. It is always helpful to have the chapters when the title refers to a certain number of topics/items.

  • @franknutson6245
    @franknutson6245 4 місяці тому +2

    Both my Narcissist have passed on now, I am so much more at ease and centered in my life now. I have also gotten to where if someone shows the narcissistic behavior I cut them off immediately.

  • @michellehumphreys
    @michellehumphreys 4 місяці тому +3

    ❤🎉❤ You just described everything me and my kids have been going through and experiencing after growing up In and experiencing a toxic narcissistic family system. We are almost 5 yrs no contact and still struggling but slowly slowly we are settling down, but, we were in that dynamic for decades. I relate to everything you say in this video. We are trying to calm down our nervous systems with healing meditation music, epsom salt baths and trying to stay calm and be supportive of eachother and stay away from people and situations that are not good for us. Thank you for this video.

  • @generally.speaking
    @generally.speaking 4 місяці тому +4

    I cried with you.

  • @1nfinit3
    @1nfinit3 4 місяці тому +4

    but I’ve felt like this for 3 years

  • @rakheepatel9212
    @rakheepatel9212 4 місяці тому +3

    Best description: depression-past crap anxiety-fear &worry about future crap
    Free time from the Narc vamp = happy af 😊

  • @sunshinelawrence3234
    @sunshinelawrence3234 4 місяці тому +1

    Im here too 🖐
    Dr. Ramani you're a phenomenal human being who deserves to be celebrated SO MUCH! I'd like to send you a virtual loving embrace 🤗 you are SO STRONG and i can tell you've got a stunningly beautiful brain 😄 thank you for sharing EVERYTHING you share. Especially your cry/personal journey. Keep growing and sharing with us ❤ You are absolutely going to crush this phase of your life!!

  • @carolynjaynes36
    @carolynjaynes36 4 місяці тому +1

    C-PTSD, Depression, Anxiety, Chronic Fatigue, Binge eating disorder, and then bipolar developed in response to multiple narcissists. Disability can result from years of abuse and neglect. I’m healing slowly now that there is no contact with any of them. Thank you so much! ❤

  • @user-mv4zc7yp3l
    @user-mv4zc7yp3l 4 місяці тому +5

    My son ended his life 2.5 years ago.