The Soul War With A Narcissist
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- Опубліковано 13 жов 2024
- Do you feel like the narcissist is crawling under your skin, and its almost impossible to stop thinking about this person?
Are you experiencing flashbacks and triggers going off all the time, as well as feel like your energy is literally being drained out of you leaving you feeling lifeless?
Why does this happen - these shocking feelings of having had our literal soul been taken over? And why is this so different from the normal heartbreak, pain and even betrayal recoveries that we may need to make after suffering disappointments with people who are NOT narcissists?
This is EXACTLY what today’s Thriver TV episode is all about, understanding why our souls have become so sick and exactly how to heal them.
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It's so sadly true. There is no a single day my thoughts go there.. I am also upset by my close people who don't understand why I can't get over it.
Yes they just can't undetstand
BUT, you can get over it. We can, together, through her NARP program. I have had remarkable progress through working the NARP modules of Quanta Freedom Healing with Melanie. I hope you will do it.
are you real if so I love you
I suppose one of the so-called benefits of being a victim of narcissistic abuse and ending up a counter-dependent is that I do not pine for all these people. I'm just furious at the way they sucked me in and wasted so much of my life. That's what eats away at me. That I let them.
wallymarcel1 I get that. I’m there too. Dealing with the characteristics within ourselves that allowed us to think we could do this: pride in a way
I just learned about counter dependance today. I was trying to figure out what my problem with intimacy was and I feel like keeping someone so close to me that I knew I couldn't trust, that I never shared struggles with (in fear of exposing my weaknesses or being made public), that I spent so much time with and was still made to look and feel a fool, has done more damage than causing anger and confusion. I am now trying to recover counter dependance but I fear the "punching bag" notion of accidentally becoming totally codependent even more. I refuse to be open to abuse.
Intrigue agree!
Same.
It happened to grow you into who you are today. Nothing is a waste.
In AA I learned. Its half way in the forest and it's half way out.
No softer easier way. Without help it is to much for us. Alone doesn't work. This became an addiction. Hoping everyday she wound see the light. Some days would be ok. Then I would start trusting the relationship only to realize it was a set up. To buy time or get me to help her with something. In 8 years i never heard I love you that was deep and believable.
Thanks to these videos I realized what I was up against. Moved out 8 days ago. Broke and emotionally bankrupt. I am not alone. I will put the work into recovery. I am worth it
Hi Terry,
that is so wonderful that you know you are worth it! xoxo
I’m so there where you are Terry. 12 years its been and we have 2 children. I leave in a week or so. Few men post about this so it is helpful to read your post. I will conquer this.
Wow I am really amazed at your insights.i love that AA analogy.
Try coda and ACA and learn self love and heal the wounds that are attracting sick people. Easier said than done but its worth it. Your worth it. Don't take it personal. She probably doesn't know any better. Peace.
Jeff Dodson Thanks. I have done both a long time ago. Just a couple of each. In Arizona their is only one place for anything but AA and Alonon. Then I drove and hour to get blow so for this abuse it's worth it. Thanks.
Some days I feel free. Many days, I feel easily triggered and pulled into obsessive thoughts.
That is so normal Sarah when we still have trauma trapped within ... I'd love to show you how to heal and recover from riggers and obsessive thoughts: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse xoxox
Well said
I broke free about 2 years ago but I stopped by to see you. I miss you! Thank you so much for helping me when I needed it. For anyone reading who is stuck with a narc, I left him about 2 years ago and did no contact started loving myself more and now I'm so happy living my dream life with a beautiful man. You can do it! I know it's so hard and I want you to know I love you. Glad you found this channel! Let it help you and fill yourself with all the love you can! Mel, your hair looks great! Thanks again. I'm glad I stopped by! Keep spreading your light!
Adriana Dolores Thank you for ur message of hope! :)
BLess Adriana and I am so glad you are doing so well sweetheart! Soooo happy for you! xoxoox
Thank you for your upbuilding encouragement !
Thank you for sharing this with us!! We need to hear more and more stories of success like yours. I am so happy to know this 🙌 truly.
Just thinking about them drains you!
You are right I remember feeling so so so dead tired around this person ...
This was me 12 months ago. I couldn’t breathe or function. My head was in a mess that I didn’t know where to go or how to think. I still had to work with this man after being in a relationship with him. It was so painful and a few months ago I found out there was someone else In his life it crushed me all over again. A week ago I was told he was no longer with her and I thought I hope she saw what he was really like and she wasn’t going to be trapped in his web. I don’t want to see anyone else get hurt the way I was. I’m still working through a lot of demons from the relationship but today I can breathe and function a lot better than I could a year ago. I no longer work with him either and it’s made it so much easier to get up in the mornings and go to work.
Thankyou Melanie you are my angel 💗
You are so welcome Wendy, keep thriving Dear Lady xoxox
Has taken me two years of constant work. Lot of tears and lots of fears. P.s Melanie, your hair looks great, and you look refreshed and beautiful. Kel
Hi Kelly, it does take releasing - how great you 'met' it. Thank you for your lovely comment! xoxoox
I left the narcASS almost three months ago and can still feel the toxins seeping through me. I get triggered just as much, if not more so, now. I've lost two long term friends due to having flashbacks. I've pretty much been keeping myself isolated aside from doctor appointments and grocery shopping. I continue to feel like I'm walking on eggshells even without him in my life.
I drive around a lot for work. So I think about my anger towards my mother all the time in my car. The broken family we are because she's so broken inside. My thoughts are constantly about the hurt and anger. I heard a good saying today. "Don't blame the narc...blame the pain they suffered to their own soul" this makes me feel better.
Trying to figure out how to find passion, creativity and enjoyment. Really hard to find enjoyment and passion in the things I use to love doing. This video helped me understand the so within and so without concept. Never thought about my sole having so much effect on my outside world. Just as my mother inner wounds are causing chaos in her life I'm caught up in causing my own now. I was blind and just started to see the light.
The Healing process starts within. I have a long way to get where I want to be.
loupizza22 when we are clogged up with accumulated trauma there is no room for the good stuff to flow through us. That is the total reason why people cant connect to what makes their soul sing. My process shows you how to release trauma and make way for what IS your True Self: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xoxoox
loupizza22 you sound like me. Family destroyed. Your not alone. We have to concentrate of fixing ourselves.
22 years later and I’m almost destroyed. Really struggling beyond belief. Soul war is right. How could I have been so blind.
Me too, We trusted our partners as we are s"supposed to". I was also completely uneducated on this topic.
@WilliamSally Tilousi. Same here. 20 years later, I feel so ashamed of myself, being so blind. He even turned my 6 kids against me. The devil’s spawns, that’s what they are.
I need this community. I have wonderful friends and a great church, but no one knows what it’s like until they’ve been the partner of a narcissist
That is SO true Sharon, family and friends (and people in general) have no idea what it is like to be with a narcissist. This video may help you further with this ua-cam.com/video/VDnGjIqg0Y4/v-deo.html and I would love you to consider connecting with my free resources too, if you haven't already, www.melanietoniaevans.com/freecourse Love and blessings to you xoxox
God you're good. How you articulate and express this knowledge is... Well, I haven't got the word, I'm just so glad you're there doing it. I think you're providing such a service to humanity and I'm sure the value of your contribution will be more and more recognised as time moves on. With all of my heart I wish everything you give to come back to you. You're an absolute shinning light. Lots of Love, Lee x
Awww Lee, your words are so lovely and supportive, from the bottom of my heart - thank you xoxox
Thank you... and I said a Prayer for you last night too. Blessings :-) x
Move along pal, she's mine . No more sweet-talking
The narc was in my life for 12 years....my best friend for 8 and my partner for 4
It's been 3 years since no contact and I still have days of crushing emotional pain that we are not together anymore
marylu7711 you're not the only one mentioning a 8 years cycle. I escaped from a relationship with narc and went no contact after 8 years of friendship as well. I wonder whether there is a some kind of cycle. Why does it take exactly 8 years? I have only intuitive thoughts about this.
Awww, Mary, I feel your pain - I so hope I can help. Please know there is a way out of the pain! xoxoox
This is spot on. Meeting the narc is about truly healing the ghosts lingering in our soul of narc abuse trauma as children or even past lives.
I'm with you here. I'm so sorry that you are still suffering. I totally agree what's on this video. It helps.
My relationship with my ex narc was almost 7 years. Been no contact 3 months.
Soul War. Because I found help from you and others I worked out how to leave the narcissist, move cross country, and save as much of my finances as possible. Instead of thriving, I find myself in a perplexing physical depletion. Not the nail I watched this did I realize that the effects of this experience are not over but continuing in a different way.
Hi Denise, it is so true - getting away is only the first step. Deeply healing and freeing our inner being is the next one - and our entire life going forward relies on it. Please come into my free webinar to find out how to get that done, and get some relief from the connection: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xoxox
Yes. Yes it does feel like that for me. I’ve been No Contact for about four months and it’s a Living heLL I think about him Everyday I NEED to be Over this already
Turn within, heal the gaps
I feel your pain..I'm going through the he same thang...my girl got back with me ... only to dumb me for 2 days later...I feel every word she talks about
As I read some of other people’s comments I realized a lot of us have the same sadness, crushed feeling, devastation, whether more recently no contact or longer.
I feel like this is a relationship/ bond like no other.
I typically worry about others a lot and effects of things I say and do - believe some obsessive compulsive and lack of confidence.
This is different though a narcissistic interaction and relationship is beyond addictive and draining and can be emotionally disturbing when trying to make sense of myself, somewhat him, or what happened.
It truly feels like a deep bond that goes beyond the 10 years I’ve known him.
Maybe a past life hurt of family members and then my own from others in my lifetime so far.
I not only want to do this for me but for children if I have them and all and my future family.
These wounds feel deep and unexplainable at times. Like a never ending journey and MTE has been the beginning of my new journey and I hope all of yours.
It is so true Lee that this is a universal issue that we are all in together. Many blessings to you and it's wonderful that you wish to be the force of change for you and others. xoxoxo
Yes! I've been doing soul work on the quantum level and its been the most effective while combined with some therapy around my deep beliefs, values, and fears. I do karmic clearings and other things which have helped. Cutting the soul attachment cords are definitely possible. It so nice to see someone speaking to exactly what we experience in these situations. I was just thinking "there's no way I can explain to my therapist it feels like my narc sucks my lifeforce and I'm drained by being around them. I know its an energy parasite and that's why I want to limit contact as much as possible."
Exactly to the soul and spirit. horrible compromise.
I do feel low energy and extremely tired and have for the last four and a half years. It’s been 3 years no contact and I am still working on trying to heal. Unfortunately I still re-live the bad scenes and all the shitty things he did in my head, all the time that makes me angry all over again. It’s truly unhealthy and exhausting. Sometimes I get sentimental over some good times too, which is also unhealthy. I wish I could erase the past 4.5 years altogether. I feel like my lifespan has likely been shortened bc of the stress.
Paula Sutton I am feeling the exact same. It still hurts so bad.
hang in there guys, the main thing is you survived and you are still alive. I hope you get to a stage in your life where you are grateful for all the experiences in your lives because that is what made you the amazing people you are today! All the challenges and negative emotions have come into your lives for a reason, to make you stronger! (what doesn't kill you makes you stronger) You're all in my prayers. "Namaste"
Paula Sutton What work are you doing? There are 12 steps. Write down the pain. The bad things. The using you. Cheating. Create the pain that will motivate you to take massive action.
Hi Paula, please know we can purge our inner being of the trauma, and get incredible belief - that is the level we can heal to now. I can show you how, if you are ready to start living free of this: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
Terry C thank you. I have made only limited effort in writing. I get worried I might die and someone will find my rantings, i kid you not. I have been in therapy for three years and have done some EMDR but success there has been limited. I am one of those people who started out life w a narc parent who essentially stole my joy of being a kid only to end up with narc and or sociopathic partners after emancipation from the narc parent. I feel pretty ripped off. But here’s the thing, I know my anger is what ties me to, and keeps me thinking about, the ex. Reminds me of a meme I saw saying something like anger is the poison you drink hoping your opponent dies. But knowing that doesn’t stop me from ruminating.
I learned not to give a narcissist what they want the attention That they crave Other narcissist will try to ignore you unless it's something about them then they pay attention I had a niece that was a narcissist Like her mom Because they always fill themselves with things they could or never will accomplish but Pat themselves on the back for it and expect you to praise them to my niece's mom on top of narcissism is a classic hoarder and I'm glad I got away from both of them and moved back home to Utah But the final icing on the case is why I left California when I found out my brother is living a secret homosexual life and married to my sister-in-law so living there was something I could not bear because my brother's a pathological lies People get themselves in such deep bullshit And it would seem that my brother can never pull himself out of the lies And deep depression he suffers from.
3 years on and he's still walking around in my dreams like he owns the place. More NARP work needed.
@Draw Breath. That’s funny “walking around in your dreams, like he owns this place”. But, joke aside, I hear you, these parasites are dangerous. BEWARE
Thank you. I've been saying that its a soul war and everyone thinks I'm crazy. I really needed this at this exact moment. I feel that my soul is ridiculously strong and that he will never win, but he is a distraction for me to fulfill my life purpose. I also feel like this war has been going on with me and the narc many many lifetimes. I just need to be free up him for once and for all so I can get on with my work as a light worker
no more addictions, and coping mechanisms. I stand my ground, no more denying, I gotta face it, wont close my eyes, and find the truth inside... if I dont make it, someone else will, stand my ground
It’s horrific when it’s your child, both Sociopaths like their dad. This used to be me, I have healed dramatically though, as long as I stay NO CONTACT.
What brand of foundation and make up do you wear please ?
I wear a few depending! This one was an organic powder ...not sure of the name! xoxoxo
Summer Time may I ask if your sons had any trauma in their lives?
A soul war it is and I’m winning mine back. I realized 6 weeks ago that my life has been a string of relationships with narcissists starting with my father. I’m due to move out in 2 weeks. I decided to visit my siblings who I haven’t seen in 4 years. They are all sick with losing the battle of their souls to the narcissists in their lives and one sibling is a narcissist. Their children show signs of of this sickness too. I had to come home to see for myself. Now I know. I see how this virus travels from one generation to the next. It stops with me and my soul is coming back online from doing the QFH NARP program. I just have to get through the next two weeks and my individual journey away from this plague begins. I am so excited. I can hardly wait.
Hi Beloved Child,
It can be one of the hardest decisions to make, to detach from the toxic family dynamic that a narcissistic parent creates. We can fear the feeling of isolation but we can build our own supports with loving, healthy friend and associates. We can create our own traditions. It can be very exciting, liberating and a lot of fun! Love and blessings xoxox
I am experiencing a similar situation and looking into ways to get out and finally going no conact with my biological family. Its painful because I do love my siblings and their children but unfortunately their partners are narcissists and they have scapegoated me. Being the "scapegoat" has been a reocurring theme throughout my life. Going no contact was something I should have done many many years ago.
We have been apart for over a year now but funny how you started this video talking about nightmares. I have begun experiencing them in the last couple of weeks. And I wonder if I have been poisoned by this experience-that I will hate him for the rest of my life, and insulate myself from the possibility of it ever happening again. These videos are really great, Melanie. I love that they don’t make me out as a powerless victim These are really very high level talks.
I do feel like I think about him too much, I do get flash backs of millions of red flags that I had overlooked when I was with him. I had a "flying monkey" tell me he moved on recently. I didn't feel pain, my heart didn't sink like expected. When we broke up I had eliminated all the triggers and stopped contacting him completely and blocked him on all social media. I do feel like my self healing journey has made me stronger person and has opened my eyes to the extent of manipulation a person would go to for attention. It has really made me see the world in a whole new light. I have moments of joy and happiness on my own so I know I am on the right track. Yoga, meditation, reading the book 'power of now' has helped me with the anxiety I felt after breaking up with him. I moved making him the centre of my universe to finding myself as the main priority. My intuition woke up which is a gift I would never had if I had not met him. I am learning about boundaries and self love which is new to me. I have goals now, it has shifted my focus and energy. I don't cry like before and the dull ache and waking up crying from pain that all stopped. I had a big cry couple weeks where I apologised to myself for putting myself into a situation like that (had I loved myself I would not have let that happen as long as it did). I always check in on how I am feeling and I don't let my emotion take over me (I am not a victim). Self love, goals, and boundaries.
I love your videos! What gets me is that I can see a lot of the behavior of the narcissist within me...but not in the narcissist! I know it's there when they have twisted all my words around and I feel like I'm lying on the floor in tatters (not really, but I sure feel it!) and the narcissist just walks away, unscathed. Ant that point I can't even tell whose problem it is anymore.
Hi Christina, it is so common to feel like that for a while. I think we all pretty much did! I promise you, as you heal and emerge you will feel more clear, empowered and sane than you have in your entire life. That is the gift in this journey! Bless! xoxox
I had to resort to creating a stone cold heart toward another human being to get away from my narcissist. I still think about her hourly every day. Life will never be the same. She'll likely try to contact me again. Worst experience of my life. Trauma is the only word for it.
....Registered...
That is so great Old Crow, it will help xoxoxo
Hi, and thank you for what you do ❤️ I went no contact almost two months ago after one last ditch effort to try to make it work again (on my half) he was totally shut off, cold player type energy, it was terrible, I didn’t know that person.. he pointed out all of my weak spots, tried to sleep with me then not talk to me for three months (his exact words) I didn’t fall for that thank god! But throughout the relationship I realized, by watching several videos about triangulation, that he had done that throughout our relationship, and would call me insecure and tell me “I’m not gonna cater to your insecurities” I stood up for myself and had boundary’s , he told me I had too many rules. He was also going to relationship therapy with me and getting vulnerable info from me, to only (from what I believe) use it against me. It was and still is a total mindfuck. He is a pillar of our community, he’s known as “the good guy” very put going, helping others and I would have never thought of him to be a narcissist, but after having this experience with him, I do believe he is a covert narcissist. I can’t really talk to many ppl about this bc a lot of ppl I know, also know him and believe him to be nice and harmless. He lacks empathey, compassion and accountibility, throughout the whole relationship. It was astounding to me, really bc he is known as such a good guy. I live 9 blocks away from him, IT SUCKS! I am kind of terrified to go out anymore in fear I will run into him, and more so run into him with his new gf. I have never felt this broken, confused, depressed, isolated after a breakup. And I am still looking for info to prove to myself that he is in fact a narcissist. Any advice? Thank you in advance!
Farrah you are very welcome :) Please come in to my free webinar www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar - it will help you get relief, unravel what has gone on and heal. xoxox
Farrah - I just wanted to share your pain. I'm a male and my exwife did the discarding but I could have written your post word for word! And yes, because they are still involved with and widely loved in the broader community, and because people do not understand our situation, it is terribly isolating. I'm still struggling to think of my ex as a narcissist but the heartbreak and complete breakdown I am dealing with now is far beyond anything I've ever experienced. Mornings are brutal but the last couple of hours before bed I start to feel 'almost' normal. I hope you are doing ok. Namaste* ❤️☀️
I have felt this too for over 49 years by my mother ,she has been on my coat tails for such a long time ,she is lonely and frightened of life , but I am not here to make her happy
how do you apply to the free membership I want my soul back and my life !!
Hi Naomi, please write in to support@melanietoniaevans.com and one of my lovely team wil help you xoxo
Thank God for you Melanie. You are a rock stare helping lots of people.
Awww LS S thank you and you are so welcome :) xoxox
Melanie, I want to thank you for your NARP program. The first time I left the narc, was near the end of the first year of my marriage to the narc. I used your program and started to feel better within 30 days but I still didn't understand narcissism very well and was easily hooked back in trying to "help him." During "round 2" I sold my business due to the stress of the relationship, planned a move halfway round the world and left family and friends behind as part of leaving him behind. He love bombed me heavily and that brought me back for round 3 for "healing closure." Of course, neither healing nor closure happened with him so I moved AGAIN far from him and then the corona virus hit and I enjoyed my solitude and started doing NARP again but the isolation started to be more than I could handle and by then, close family was sick of hearing about my heartache and we all thought I should be recovered after a whole year alone... But sadly, I knew that I thought about him every day, the addiction was still raging on inside. I had slept MOST of every day for the year I spent alone in recovery. I was just so drained and grief stricken I couldn't work a job or function hardly at all. By the end of the year, I had started feeling physically better but was love-starved. I went back for round 4 and 5 which came close together. I think I FINALLY got the message that there is no way to have any type of healthy relationship with him and am alone again as my 3rd anniversay is drawing near.
I'm just not sure how to COMPLETE the healing. I have to rebuild my life and not give it away this time. I need to learn how to relate to normal people all over again and form a whole new network from scratch but am still scared of people in general and just basically dreading more isolation. It's strange that I dread it, because I am an introvert and LOVE solo projects but enough is enough of this loneliness.
Narp does help but maybe I'm doing it wrong or just need to do it more. I think I need to replace the narc with something better (but everything seems grey and boring without the love bombing honestly.) Any other ideas?
Christian One, my highest suggestion if you are a Gold NARP Member is to come into the NARP Member's Forum www.melanietoniaevans.com/member where we can help you heal. If you are not a Gold NARP Member then please email support@melanietoniaevans.com and one of my lovely support team will help you get connected xoxox
@@MelanieToniaEvans Thank you for answering. I will.
I went no contact with my ex narcissistic bf almost 7 months ago. I do feel a lot better than I used although I know there is lots of work ahead of me. Couple of weeks ago I was standing in front of my home and chatting away. I noticed someone approaching me. It was dark could not see clearly. The figure of the person looked like my ex bf. I panicked inside. For a moment I felt like nothing changed, I felt almost sick. The person passed me and it wasn't my ex bf. I couldn't calm inside for another few minutes. I saw that the person I was standing and talking with noticed that there is something wrong.
I do believe that situation like that happen for a reason. Its like a catalyst to heal. I don't wanna feel like that all my life and I know there is only one way to get out of this cesspit.
It's so true Ilona, it is a powerful catalyst to bring us to heal. So much so! Wishing you great healing and breakthrough. xoxo
Thank you sooo much ❤️❤️❤️
Yes, I go through this all the time. I wake up shakey, not able to breathe, looking like I hadn't slept in days and he invades my dreams. I feel depleted
Yes I’m going through and I know better, that’s what hurts the most. I’m disappointed in myself more than anything else. I just want it to be all over. It’s like I’m stuck in a bad dream.
4 years of no contact and Thriving! Still share your videos and all I learned from you with others who need them. ❤️
Yes! I'm no contact, he's in jail, but the feelings and thoughts and knee jerk reactions still permeate every single day
Hi Katie, that's great that you're going No Contact, this resource here goes deeper into this and can grant deeper understandings and insights
blog.melanietoniaevans.com/breaking-the-psychic-binds-of-the-narcissist/ plus I'd love you to sign up for my free healing webinar melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar so I can explain in more depth and take you through two healings so you can discover how by doing the innerwork inside your body that you can go free from this. Love and blessings xoxox
Yes in fact I dreamt of him last night. He was trying to pull one over on me but I wouldn’t back down. EVEN in my dreams there was a part of me thinking,’ am I in the wrong? Am I overreacting ?’ But I stood my ground. ( even if it was just a dream- it felt good.) I live with two other narcissists and it’s easier to see through but somehow it usually gets to me. (I’m new btw)
I too feel exhausted. I broke down last night. Confused and heartbroken and don't know how to get out of it. I still hope I can get through to him but in my heart I know I can't.
My heart goes out to you 2gooddrifters. I would love you to accept this invitation to my free webinar in which I take you through two healings so you can feel some relief from the pain you are in right now www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Much love to you xoxox
@2gooddrifters. I would suggest to go ‘no contact’ immediately. God bless you
Yes, it's been two years since he left. 8 months since divorce. Most of the crazy stuff has stopped. But I still feel the energy cord as he lives a few miles away with new supply. My mind drifts to them daily. I am working on stopping it but it creeps in on and off all day.
This is a brilliant video. I have participated in one of Melanie's weekend workshops and it triggered off something very positive inside of me that released the floodgates of my own creativity through artwork and sketching. I have been trying for decades to shake off the narcissistic abusers of my childhood and even after their respective deaths there was no relief from the endless droning of their criticism and negativity inside my head. This year 2020 I have had enough realising just how vampiric narcissists are; they literally suck the life out of you and are chronically self-obsessed. You deserve to heal from this abuse; Melanie talks about a soul war and in my experience it is exactly that! Fight for yourself, seek inner validation and don't be defined at all by other's opinions. The best of luck to everyone here.
I just want to let you know, dear Melanie, that your videos have saved me!! The feeling I get when I watch your videos is of hope and awe that the someone has shown up in my life who is here to reiterate exactly what I need to know at this very point. I felt blessed .😭🙌
I'm going through it and I still can't believe everything you are saying is exactly how my x is,its mind blowing and so bloody sad.she is extremely nasty and impossible.so I decided to start studying narcissism to help me understand and get through.ive got a hell of a fight to get through and I'm drained.im still trying to get my head around it and how someone can be wired like that.pure evil
Keep smiling, keep healing and keep striving
When you say they lost their soul... my ex narc told me that he felt like he was on the outside of his body and like he was 2 different people! I used to aka him when he would be in a rage what happened to my husband because it was like he was possessed or something. His pupils were fully dilated, foaming at the mouth, just an absolute monster. Then after he’d be like a big teddy bear while I’d be in state of shock, fear and confusion. He had told me about his dad having been similar .. so I know it’s epigenetics. It made so much more sense after he told me that ... I knew at that point I was dealing with a very mentally unwell and someone with a lost soul.
My Narc Ex his dad was clearly a Narc before I found out my Ex was and when i looked at my Ex I would see his dad's face in him a lot more closer to the end of the relationship inevitably...
I would suggest to some of you (us) that these kinds of brutal/whirlwind connections w. men or women is really about US, just as melanie says. Blame goes both ways. Much of my own trial with an addict/narcissist was about BOTH of us in a sub/dom sexual relationship that became a power struggle for three years. Her alcoholism etc and MY Rage - perfect storm. We both received what is called, 'secondary gain.' But I do NOT blame this woman anymore and know, end of day I was there for my OWN sadism or perhaps, deep DEEP child trauma I have become to recognize better. I have begun to finally accept that these issues can NOT be healed in the mind - I wholly agree. It is the entire body n' soul on a micro level needing healing. It's not just NO contact w/ ea other but also, celibacy. The self-partnering visual is grand! I wish everyone success along this path. Peace.
Dear Melanie, it's so amazing that every video I watch of yours allows my right brain to expand more and "get" that the healing taking place through the NARP program cannot be quantified, yet it is working just the same. I love your passion when you speak and the truths that I feel vibrating harmoniously in my inner being that give me hope and belief in this powerful work. Like you, I do not want to come back here again and deal with all this mess. Im amazed that every video is just more powerful and truth packed than the last one I watched. In tandom with my NARP work it's the most powerful experience of healing I've ever had. THANK YOU, you are lovely and I love hearing your talks!
Thank-you for your time and help not only for me but everyone who watches the videos to get a better understanding. I seem to take one step forward then two steps back sadly I cant help but to care as the person who was in my life is trying well has stolen a child and just feeds off everyone sympathy towards single mothers yet Im a single full time father of three yet i repersent everything that is bad in the world or so people are lead to believe. Equality 2018.
Hi Melanie, what I experienced for two years after having broken up with my narcissist boyfriend was anger and resentment towards him but probably more towards myself. Angry at myself for having been so stupid, gullible, etc. I couldn't get past this!! I thought I was over it but when people would ask me about my past and I would talk about it, they would say to me, "Monica, you're not over him/it". And they were right. It wasn't until I luckily stumbled across one of your UA-cam videos that I realized I wasn't healed and that this was normal after the "torture" of having been in a relationship with a narcissist. I was deeply traumatized. Traumatized at a soul level. My way of trying to feel better was exercise, food and shopping. I knew they would only make me feel worse in the long-term (well, except for the exercise) but I needed something to help me feel better even if only temporarily and nothing else worked. Until now. I can't tell you how far I've come in such a short time (less than 3 mos) because of your program. You get it. In this video, you again hit the nail on the head and it helps the rest of us to know what we are feeling and going through is what just about every victim of narcissistic abuse goes through. And that there is hope! I have never posted comments on anything online and yet now I feel compelled and find it cathartic. Thank you Melanie!
Awww Monica it always makes my heart sing when people such as you come out of the trauma and the bowels of hell into true healing. I am SO happy for you! Sweetheart keep going - you are an inspiration to yourself and others xoxox
This is exactly where I am right now, even more so after confronting the 4 decades of abuse. I can see clear multigenerational transmissions, stretching back 130 years and, no doubt it goes back much further. I can see why it used to be called a Family CURSE! I have been through the hell realms and have some ways to go. It has been utterly brutal. I have spent my life with a target on my back and what my family did and is currently doing is beyond belief which is a huge issue itself! My 'mother' is quite simply the most sadistic and manipulative creature I have ever met but I only realised the depth of her malignancy, two years ago, after I gave up work to look after her full time. Then she set to work with my sister and her psychopathic partner, to drive me to suicide. She very very nearly achieved her goal!!! I came across a book, six months before I was thrown on the street during my step daughter's crisis, where her life was in jeopardy and then they terrorised me. I am now in supported living which is horrendous. Codendants and predators under one roof. Predators 'smell' me, like files. Because my subconscious has hemorrhaged with a new malignant, contextual framework, I have had, for first time, early childhood memories and they are not good at all. I am about to communicate with a shaman from 'plantconsciousness.com' as a preliminary 'cord cutting' and debris clearing and from there, I will be going to a Iboga counsellor to try and 're-set'. I trained as a counsellor myself but my pain body is materialising in my fibromyalgia, every day is painful, in many ways. I have been a HATE bucket for three generations of my 'cult members'. How I'm still here is simply miraculous! 30 years of crippling depression because they con-vinced me I was faulty. Psychopathy 101. I am utterly broken & my 'leathered' Soul vibrates like a nuclear reactor. I have had to deliberately 'indulge' my tyrannical superego due to the fact of the Covert narcissistic abuse. So much of my memory is blank, I have had to retrieve enough to establish some continuity where before there was none. I feel fragile & fed upon but things are changing and my faith tested once more. I have lost almost everything,over & over but what I do have now, is the TRUTH! Thank G_d.. Only one friend has stayed the coarse but you can see in people faces when I start talking, 'he's insane'.. Thank heavens for the 'Narc' community, for the education, confirmation & the 'Light' that guides me through the corridors of suffering.. May this find you well. Kind regards Vincent
I couldn’t agree with this more! My entire relationship I always said it felt like the angel fighting the devil! Truth!
True, true, true, this is a spiritual warfare against my soul, it was unbelievably invasive and debilitating, Lost my innocence. But I'm a warrior of light. He has no idea who he was messing with.
Poison for body, mind and soul ...Amazing Key Words Melanie - 💯♥️🇩🇰 Soul Work learning by doing.
I'm so glad this helps Karina. Love and blessings xoxox
I've been gone from a covert for 3 months. We were 27 years and I cant seem to shake the sadness and loss😢
At a minimum, we FINALLY, after even several lifetimes, heal Ourselves. I just stated today this is the last lifetime I Am doing this. I Am Fully Ascending and Nothing or Anyone can stop Me. Thank You! 💙💚 Great video.
after Dec 28th of silence/discard the longer it goes, even with my NC, the harder it is. The shock, disappointment, anger, missing and loving what now I see is fantasy which makes even harder.
My exhaustion is really bad, struggling to take online writing, doing anything. Had bloodwork done yesterday, was in bed most of yesterday like a stronger force is weighing on me
tulum, I'd love you to come into my free webinar www.melanietoniaevns.com/freewebinar because truly this does not have to be your reality. There is a way to heal this xoxox
This is definitely me and very scary! At the same time it helps somewhat! Take care, love right back at you and thanks!
My pleasure Dawn - much love xoxox
One of the most beautiful spiritual explanations. And I have heard thousands of them. Thank you. XO
My pleasure Timo Tej. I'm so glad this helps. Love and blessings xoxox
Yes for 5 years. I need to forgive this person and really move on. I was completely dependent on N and he discarded me without looking back after 16 years. Devastated me!!! I still can’t believe his Oscar winning performance for all those years. I Have NARP but find it so hard to keep up because of the time it takes in each module. We definitely suffered at a level of soul and no one really really gets it unless they have been through this. He left me 5 years ago physically but I feel like he still lives in my being everyday. I have not been able to move on at all. N moved on with his new supply as if I never existed and I’m still living in the nightmare of the memory of the illusion. I thought for years that I was the Narc because for years I was adapting to the the N. I was numb unhappy and didn’t know why.
Btw: Melanie I love your new hair color. You look more beautiful as years go by. I found you in 2013 and you have been getting younger and more radiant as time went by. 💜
Hi Truth, please know sweetheart that dedication to our inner being is everything no matter how busy we are in life. Thank you for your beautiful comments - I certainly do feel like I am getting younger as a result of releasing more trauma from my cells!! Wishing you incredible breakthrough, the inner work with NARP is the way xoxoox
Ancestral Healing!!! YaY! I do this work with clients and their therapists, as an adjunct trauma healing therapy. Thank you for sharing this information ♥️♥️♥️
It's my pleasure, and how wonderful Jenn!! I love that you are doing that work! xoxox
Triggers-sucking life out. Shaky numb and foggy. I cannot believe you said all these I’m experiencing. I’m able to usually mentally work through a lot of hardships but regular mundane things are monumental. OK now I’m gonna listen to you tell the rest. Thankyou Melanie. I like your lipstick color.
It use to feel exactly like this being cyber stalked doesn't make it any better. I am working through this daily.
I feel like that when the way that act in the midst of a trigger, other people believe i am forever damaged (or i assume they do, or they act in a way that makes me believe so) that i feel that hopeless, never getting better feeling. When i only have me to answer to, i know my truth and i know i will heal.
I wake up thinking about him. It’s awful. I’ve had dreams. I’m haunted. I can’t stop.
I've only been NC for 17 days! I'm so scared to go to sleep at night because I know waking up in the morning with anxiety and crying is almost unbearable. I never dreamed it would be this bad. I would never do anything stupid but I wish I was dead. Anytime we split up I would have such anxiety but never this bad, but anytime we got back together I would feel calm and cling to him even though me standing up for myself and my boundaries is what caused the smear campaign. Even though he would mock me when I felt ANXIOUS. OF COURSE he was ONLY JOKING. Even though anytime I was anxious or depressed he was depressed but bouncing about like trigger laughing and joking. Pretty much his whole family are toxic. It's like he was causing me all this pain but I needed him. Now i know why Narcissistic Abuse Victim Syndrome is likened to that of Stockholm Syndrome. My MS is bad just now but I'm using medication for my anxiety more than anything else and I'm so tired at night but I push myself to stay awake just so it's longer before I have to wake up. 7am I went to bed the other morning. I see a psychiatrist for adhd but she completely ignores my anxiety and I also have Rejection Sensory Dysphoria. I'm at my wits end.
"Haunted", the perfect word choice." I opened up to one family member, now am ignored and accused of lying. I opened up due to a triangulating conversation that was passed to my Daughter which I'm sure all here know how that worked out. I was accused of lying and am now ignored. CPTSD is an engulfing problem now. I wish all here the best.
Please know candygirl, myself and so many others had terrible CPTSD, however when we release the trauma it heals ... my heart goes out to you, I know the struggle and that is why I am so passionate about leading people to a real way to heal xoxo
Thank you Melanie, Idk. Ex narcopath, daughter(when I spoke the unpopular truth), and My parents (who have yet heard the unpopular truth), have ALL turned against me at this point. I'm attending your seminar tomorrow. I need to make sooo many steps to survive this but seem unable to take them. As you stated, "It's that big"!
I worked with someone and become close to them and fell for the act they put on, we went on holiday and they treat me like crap for all of the 2 weeks. so it was a constant name calling, degrading remarks and then trying to give me gifts. when we got back to work that is when the discard started. silent treatment ensued after spreading lies about me at work
5 months no contact and it still feels as raw, difficult and heartbreaking as the day I finally walked away and deleted and blocked him from my life. I feel as you said, permanently damaged, as though I will carry this pain, confusion, emptiness and exhaustion around with me for the rest of my life. I am broken. I think of him and his other women constantly and it kills me.
Moomin, please know there is a way to heal this terrible trauma. I would love to hold your hand and help you with this. Please check out my transformational free resources - they are the first step: www.melabnietoniaevans.com/freecoure xoxox
Thank you. xx
My mom is probably a narcissist in my opinion. I used to feel like this when I still had contact with her. But I don´t have any contact now for about 8 years or so...And I definitely don´t feel like this anymore. I also had an ex boyfriend that maybe is a narcissist. I have spent only 5 days with him. But after this 5 days, I have spent YEARS to recover from him. I am not joking. I have never experienced such a damage from a man in only 5 days. Only a narcissit can cause that.
I am so grateful for your work. ❤
Thank you
... love your work.... yes , i am having the challenge of thoughts about him, i find listening to all the info on narcs keeps me stuck, but.... i love learning about it... i sometime get mad at myself for being such a fool to fall into his trap.. i am getting better, 7 mths no contact, going strong.. thanks again.. your are wonderful
My 2nd time watching this particular video and it surely won't be my last. Thank you so much for this!
You are so welcome MrLukearthwalker xoxox
You are so easy on the eyes and ears.
Yes, this is exactly how I am feeling.
I got into 5d. felt the bliss. how was I so blind to connect with such a person. where has my heart gone. an uneven trade for the real world
Am so much better. It has taken a couple years of this soul work but it beats spinning my wheels in hell.
I think I got away from them in time (two weeks), but, I was reeling for several weeks. Now, my work is taking over my mind, but, I'm still going to study so I know how to handle them when I see them again.
Thank you for your work and may God continue to bless you and all in your loved ones. You are an Angel. Peace.
Thank you for your kind words Jeff. Love and blessings to you xoxox
Yes somewhat true for me . Can’t stop thinking about him- together over 22 years and only the last few were terrible- but they were horrific. Away from this person 4 months. No contact past several weeks as have blocked everything. My nervous system feels shot though but am taking concrete steps to recover.
That is great Glenda that you are on the way to recovery xoxoox
I've used the term soul crushing many times to describe my feelings since going no contact. :(
Yes it's shocking, needed this today thank you
Yes ma’am ! I’m trying to get away from the narcs in my life , that I’m unfortunately living with. But even with past narcs it’s like you’re still living with them. However- I’m looking to thrive with the help of your wonderful modules and community. When I’m thinking of that , then I’m not thinking of them
AB I am so pleased I could help! NARP will help you get free so much. Many blessings to you xoxox
Omfg wow the most informative video on this topic I have seen. Brilliant woman
Extremly well thought out and well said... Thankyou Melanie.
It's my pleasure Maxwell and thank you xoxox
It feels like their claws are in my soul still needing me and i’m trying to push them away from me and they are drowning and trying to drowned me with them. I don’t want to drowned but they can’t see that they can swim, so they accept drowning and want me to drown with them too, while they frantically try to climb up me to save themselves in panic and i feel conflicted, i want to let them go to save myself but part of me would rather drowned so they don’t have to, but i would rather not drowned at all.
Great analogy Eboney!! If you would like to find out How to put your own oxygen mask on first and let the narc take responsibility for their own lives and you for yours, I can show you. I would love to you to join me in my free webinar where I take you through two healings that allow you to release some of the trauma trapped (wounds and beliefs) in your body and bring you back to you xoxox www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar
I know exactly that feeling of drowning. Being pulled under and growing weaker. Unable to breathe. It’s a heck of a battle to get to the surface. So depleted and unlike myself. Far better now although also coping with bereavement.
Love you, Melanie! You are my sister!
Soul sister!
It’s been like this for decades. Not recently though.
Brilliant and insightful video 🙏
Thank you Michael - I am so pleased you enjoyed it! xoxo
I’m away from the narc for almost 3 years, but the hardcore abuse of 4 years makes it feel as though I’ve been alone for 7 years.
My triggers still occur now although they are less. I don’t feel as though I will ever truly trust again and my triggers make my patience low. I do not feel as though I’ve begun to heal, truly but I want to move forward and be free so much.
Hi Maxine, I would love you to join me in a free healing workshop sweetheart so you can feel how to heal at the subconscious level - the level we heal from narcissistic abuse - www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar Love and blessings to you xoxox
Yes spot on. Thank You for helping us heal Melanie Anytime I get a trigger or flash back I go back to your videos and rewatch remind my Brain Heart and Soul What I am Healing from and for. Thank You. 💝
Veronica it is so my pleasure Dear Lady. Bless you xoxox
Another fantastic video, really insightful. I love your delivery of the truth, such an intricate level of understanding, it's amazing.
Really so helpful.
I need this reminder often. You are saving lives from the inside out..
Thank you so much 💞💞xxxx
It's my great pleasure P. I'm so glad that this validates and helps you. Love and blessings xoxox
I am so hurt. 25 years...26 women I know of and he wouldnt let me move on with a real human. He purposefully stayed in poverty our daughter's whole childhood. When she was 16 he finally began to make some money although it was illegal $ to use his license the way he was. He had been given an opportunity to buy a home but it was more important for him to hurt us with that home than it was to pay for it...so he is losing the house. He doesn't care. And now Melanie I have forgotten your question as I remind myself of the many, many reasons we can never consider allowing him in our lives again. When I weaken I remember why were where we are now. Im the most blessed because my 2 adult children love me and stand with me. They saw.
Im in a precarious situation, i agreed to be the sibling, warm body that stays at the house, for "nightwatch" to check on my dad. My brother & sister who live here in Cali. Say i dont have to do anything accept notifying if he dies. IT IS REALLY UNCOMFORTABLE HERE. Even to the point where i told my kid (30yrs old) ,who is graciously trying to develop a relationship with me, if you didnt want to talk to me i understand.-- BECAUSE I DONT EVEN WANT TO SPEND TIME WITH MY DAD! I do NOT even feel bad about it.... just uncomfortable that i feeel that way, more pissed off at the way he treated my mom all those years.
SO YES , CONSTANT CREEPY FEELING.
Thank you for articulating how I feel. I also feel that the narcissist has some kind of evil connection that enables them to watch me at a distance. Get information about me. Could there be some kind of evil spirits involved here?
I' m in it deep and trying my best to crawl out. Problem is no money, living on her property (torture), came here because I'm the caregiver (AKA EMPATH ) in the family (just took care of her mom (my gma) until she passed on Feb 11th this year (not so much as a thank you from her) and I was to take care of her as she's 75 now. Took me 55 years and living this close on a daily basis to figure out who she really was. I'm having so many memories smashed as I realize what really happened. It's mind-boggling and I'm angry, sad, confused, hurts so deep down knowing I'm only here for her supply.
First few months I was a basket case! Didn't know what was going on. I cried everyday (sobbed uncontrollably more like it), then one day I looked up the word 'self righteous' and narcissist popped up. What an eye opener!
Dawning on me that my mother is a text book covert narc, a kleptomaniac, an insurance scammer ( suing small businesses resulting in them losing everything), hypochondriac, munchausen syndrome and proxy, animal abuser ( in order to get supply either from the one who loves the animals or facebook when she lies about saving them, habitual liar of course, child abuser I'm now finding out due to these damn flashbacks. But definitely much needed flashes in order to face the truth and get as far away from her as possible.And as for the thinking about her...oh yes! I always feel this odd scared feeling. I now know why I feel this and it's because she's always scheming, smearing me hard, and a thousand steps ahead of me and all with such ease. And when she's acting so called nice it scares me even more. I find myself constantly defending myself to myself and others in my head. Oh god make it stop! She's definitely the most disturbing person I've ever met. Makes sense to me now that she never talked about her childhood, teen years, shared memories, etc. So covert!
You my dear have helped me tremendously and I try to watch/listen to something daily so I don't forget who she is ( when she realized I was moving things slowly out she just happened to put a very large screwdriver on the very steep upstairs steps (5th up from the bottom) that I'd been going up and down for the past hour. I had visions of the book MISERY!!
Thank you for all you do and share. You're amazing!
It infuriates me to no end that this is basically the sole purpose of the narcissist and they do it with reckless abandonment with no remorse no regret and no guilt at least that’s how it feels to me. For the love of God I pray these individuals get arrested, and now I am left figuring out how to get this tap Unscrewed from the very core of my being it is much like trying to put together a 5000 piece puzzle in the dark or blindfolded. There are days I am Utterly exhausted and exasperated.
Hi Diesel,
I'm happy to help. My free resources will give you step by step advice and understanding to help you recover from this experience. You are not alone. There are so many of us who have gone through this and we've recovered, rebuilt our lives and are happy and whole again. You can too. You can start this process by signing up here: www.melanietoniaevans.com/freestarterpackage.htm Love and blessings xoxox
Thank you so much Melanie, you must have an incredibly hectic schedule and am sincerely honored by the sacrifices you have made and the diligence your intelligence, spirit, and all the other gifts you have selflessly put on the table to help so many individuals such as myself. I extend my gratitude towards you and all others in making your healing ministry and mission possible. I have passed the first year mark of no contact since my divorce, and I am making it a daily practice through prayer and meditation in the truths gently provided by caring individuals such as yourself. This has been a particularly painful journey for me as I am practicing your guidance of allowing my higher power to reveal and deal with very painful childhood core issues that still run deep in my veins even in my adult years. There is hope, encouragement, love, true inner peace, joy, light, redemption and Freedom all the way through it ... made possible by my creator and of testimonies such as yourself and other individuals that proves The fight for ourselves are worth it and we are truly worthy of grace and mercy And a brand new life a brand new beginning and a fresh start. You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free. Again I count myself very fortunate and blessed to hear your testimony among those that have walked out of darkness and ashes and became something or better yet someone even more complete and whole in their lives before any of this had started. Thank you all and I give my love to all who have endured and survived and now are thrivers. I want what you all have.... to be a Thriver!! And to those who are still suffering, my prayers are for you always.
I think that every narc experience added up especially the covert one I married in 2006 sent me into a depression fog. I feel with therapy I was bandaged up and loaded up with info and love, But not healed.
Michelle that is sadly the case, generally until we get the trauma out of our bodies. Have you come into one of my free webinars yet to experience this? www.melanietoniaevans.com/freewebinar xoxox
Melanie Tonia Evans I’m on the Narp program thankfully! ♥️♥️♥️
I’m going through it right now...I feel like I’m recovering but it’s not easy.