Enmeshment: Talking to Your Enmeshed Partner
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- Опубліковано 15 чер 2024
- If you have a loved one in an enmeshed family system, you might experience feelings of neglect or frustration, and it may seem like you're not a priority, which can be disheartening. Addressing these situations appropriately is crucial, and rather than insisting on immediate change, it's more impactful to communicate how their enmeshment affects you emotionally and poses challenges in your relationship. This shifts the conversation from unintentional blaming to a place of concern and understanding. Navigating these discussions is challenging but essential to establishing healthy boundaries for a thriving, happy relationship. Learn how to address enmeshment in relationships for a healthier connection. 🌟
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This video was created by Barbara Heffernan, LCSW for educational purposes only. These videos are not diagnostic and provide no individual consultation. Consumption of these materials is for your own education and any medical, psychological, or professional care decisions should be made between you and your primary care doctor or another provider that you are engaged with. Barbara Heffernan is not available for individual consultation via UA-cam, social media, or email, and provides services only in the manner mentioned above.
☀️☀️CHAPTERS☀️☀️
0:00 Dealing with an enmeshed partner
:40 What to do if your partner is enmeshed with their family
2:34 The opposite of enmeshment
I left my last relationship when it became clear my partner was very enmeshed with his family. Coming from a family with this dynamic, I felt staying with him was a step backward in my own recovery process.
When I say to somebody «I feel…», I usually get either «It is your problem that you feel this way» or «You shouldn’t feel this way!» to an answer. 😅
You don't say it to "make someone change". IMHO, when someone says that, I get to hear out loud that the other person doesn't really care all that much how I feel. It's empowering for me to take a step back and think about that. At least, that is how it works for me, YMMV.
Communication is such an important skill to learn. How to communicate, WHAT to communicate, etc.
Yes, absolutely! And it is really so difficult it surprises me sometimes!
Communication happens only between two healthy (mentally) people and I do not know how many people are 100 % healthy.
The I feel won’t cause arguments is not true. I used this way and my partner really flipped it on me that I had no right to feel that way
✅ good video
I appreciate the tactic presented here as an option, but - in my personal experience with this situation - this does not feel like it will work. The enmeshed partner is likely to interpret it as both criticism of the way they live their life AND an ultimatum, forcing them to choose between a family member (with whom they have a much longer history of commitment, tracing back to childhood) and a romantic partner (with whom they have relatively weaker ties). I had a significant other years ago who let me know early on that his mother would always have the most privileged position in his life; if I would have attempted to challenge that relationship by claiming to feel ignored and upset, I would’ve been kicked to the curb with little further discussion. Realistically, the enmeshed person either needs to come to the realization of their own accord at some point (with a partner perhaps suggesting how it might be so, based upon situations that arise), or it’s a consideration that has to be factored into whether the romantic relationship is ultimately worth pursuing / maintaining or not.
Nono.