If you liked this video, I recommend you watch these related videos too: 1) Self Esteem - Understanding & Fixing Low Self-Esteem 2) How To Stop Worrying - The Fundamentals of Eliminating Worry 3) How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert 4) Self Confidence - The Two Essential Avenues For Building Confidence
I remember the good times when i was confident. I used to be the one in class that was never afraid of telling people exactly how i feel. But then i managed to destroy myself. I tried changing myself. I thought that if i cared for others, more people would like me. Turned out i was wrong. All i did was ruin myself with social anxiety and depression
+Games Cooky Getting your needs met externally is pretty much guaranteeing feeling empty at some point down the road. I've been in your shoes and realized a lot of choices I'd made regarding relationships and even career decisions were based upon getting my needs met through these avenues. Then you get to the point you're at now and wonder wtf happened??? Well, you've acknowledged what happened and know what you did to get there. Now is the time to do the work to figure out what makes you happy and focus on that. I know external influences can sometimes make these positive life change feel like they're wrong or not good as they're letting you know how it affects them. This might be good for you but not for them. Once you realize you don't need others to make you feel fulfilled you're on your way. Regarding meds, I take mirtazipine at night and have for 1 1/2 years. I sleep great (was having issues) and any anxiety has really diminished so it's quite manageable. I have ativan on standby for specific occurrences and take sparingly. Good luck.
+Games Cooky I feel like im on the exact same path. I used to always crack jokes and everyone would tell me how I should become a comedian and I would make my class laugh daily, but then that started having an impact on my grades because my teachers didn't like how I interrupted at times so I decided to change. I slowly started to notice how I got less and less invited over to friends and people who used to seem like they were close friends completely ignored me. This was in junior high and when I started at my high school (I'm in my 3rd year now) I noticed how I didn't really make any friends. I knew only one person from my previous school and so my first year I kind of just talked with people in school and tried to hang on to him, but I never socialized after school or got invited to anything and he seemed to only hang with me because I kind of made him. I managed to switch this for a short moment after a class trip with my German class to Austria to learn more German. It was close to Vienna and we didn't have much to do in our free-time, so we partied almost every day. I got close to a lot more people, I started smiling more and I even talked to some girls. This continued for about 5 moths until at one party I made out with a girl (for the first time) and afterwords a guy pointed out how stupid I looked making out because I didn't know what the hell I was doing on top of being moderately drunk. I believe his words were that it looked like I was eating her face... (-_-) This was a huge blow to my confidence so I stopped talking with them and asking to hang out because I was too embarrassed. That group of people stopped talking to me shortly after and now I only have about 3 friends who aren't really friends, I just hang out with them at school because i go to the same class as them, but they are part of different groups themselves and they even have a Facebook chat where they talk together, but they haven't invited me or anything and they make a bunch of plans together without me. Which just makes it that much worse ... :/
+Eivind Ludviksen my friend, you need to not give a f___what people think. Believe me, everyone goes through this. Be yourself. I use to be a class clown and had lower grades but their are many ways to success. Keep a balance in life. BELIEVE ME
***** Yeah, I know I shouldn't give a shit, but it's hard not to... I don't want to be a loner, but my self esteem is way too low to start socializing, it's an evil circle. I guess I should just try to take it step by step until I can build up enough self esteem. It's hard though, because people are assholes and a girl recently told me that I would die alone, which was hard to hear (even though she didn't mean it).
I watched this video 5 years ago and shit happened in life that killed my confidence. Getting robbed and maced and beat and just catching other L's in life. I been working on myself again though and have been looking for this specific video as I used these 2 affirmations all the time before and it helped a lot. I used to preach about affirmations to other people too. But thanks Leo I'm going to do this again and get my confidence back and chip away at my insecurities and social anxiety. To whoever's reading this I'm rooting for you baby and the best things in life are yet to come, never give up! I believe in you.
I can't explain how much I appreciate you and your amazing videos. You've really changed my life to the better and I'm so thankful for that. You're so smart and kind and I hope that you know how much impact these videos can make on a person's entire life!
+Actualized.org me too you changed my life bro i first discovred you by the video about meditation and through that i was able to quit smoking both tobbacco & weed also other videos too are intresting and have alot of wisdom salute & thank you very much brother Peace
I've never felt jealous of how much money certain people make and/or what they own... Only felt jealous of the confidence and drive that they had to get them to where they are today. I simply cannot express in to words just how important it is to have a certain degree of confidence. It affects so many things in your life, not just relationships. Honestly, I'd rather have a ton of confidence ingrained into me over having a billion dollars. It's not something you could simply buy. Which is why a video like is so important. Thanks for sharing :)
Every morning for at least _2 months_ : Affirmation 1 for 5 minutes - 🥰 *_I love being confident_* Affirmation 2 for 5 minutes - 😎 *_I am independent of the good or bad opinion of others_* Visualisation for 5 minutes -🤳 Play *_the movie_* out in my mind That’s great, Leo. Thanks.
I'm still in the middle of watching your video but I just had to stop and tell you Thankyou for making a commitment to help improving the lives of other people such as myself who've struggled with confidence and thriving socially. It means so much to me and others!
Find your life purpose, create your dream career. Check out my comprehensive video course. 90+ exclusive videos, 20+ hours and 200GBs of content! www.actualized.org/life-purpose-course
rivenz6 yep im skeptical about it too. i was doing them long ago. so every day i was thinking and visualizing, how im fighting, being beaten to death, being stabbed etc. and how im not afraid of death and how i dont give up. and i assured myself that i was fearless of fights and death and i could take on anyone, even 100 men. but once i got in a conflict situation, i became anxious, nervous, and thats when my illusions broke down!
I am an introvert who seems very confident but not truly is. Also i happen to get defensive when someone points at my lack of confidence. Because i am afraid of being seen like one (because i lack confidence)
Quiet by Susan Cain explains it all!! People say "introverted" like it is negative thing but it is not. Everybody embraces the "Extrovert Ideal" of appearance instead of character and small talk over deep conversations. Some people are just introverts by nature and people can't accept it (conformity)
Thank you Leo!!!!!... My masculinity has been stripped from me through my divorce. I came to the realization that I had no clue who I was while I was even in that relationship. And have lived a life with no definitions;i only followed what people have told me I should be doing. this is a game changer for me. I think you've saved my life.
I went from being a professional athlete to church mouse and spent b the last 2 years fumbling (no pun intended) trying to get my stride back...I look forward to working this out. Your blog is a godsend.
Here is the gist of it- 1. stop believing that you lack confidence 2. pinpoint the source of your lack of confidence 3. Think about different ways in which you could've handled the situation. 4.Say affirmations everyday (classic self help #1) 5.Visualize (classic self help #2) 6. Socialize more The first 3 points are a bit abstract , and honestly very difficult to do alone. funny thing is shy people are often alone . This delving into oneselfs deep patterns is not only a practice that is very hard to follow , but is very ,very easy to leave. correct me if i am wrong but 90% of people who watch this may do what he said for about not more than a week. Isint there another way? a more plausible way? One more question- should one accept that he/she is shy and start to improve from the bottom , or stay in denial and force oneself to perform on real life situations,and hence learn to be confident by trial and error? both ways seem logically correct.
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.
The greatest thing about this channel is that there is communication with the ''man behind the camera''. Not a lot actually answer to comments but you friend are fantastic you deserve way more people to find you out not just because for your own credit but for theirs too. Thanks a lot man.
I had always been an extrovert but then two years ago, i gained a few pounds. It didn't change much except the way I started looking at myself, which led to me into a shell i didn't realize even existed until i found myself saying no to every good opportunity that life threw my way. I lack confidence when meeting new people, and my college starts soon and i am terrified of how i would be introducing myself to new people and possibly even making new friends. your video has really helped me and i can't wait to start working on this because you made me realize all the great thing i might be missing out on. A truly wonderful video. :)
My problem is that my primary concern is literally not embarassing myself, I often feel a surge of pressure, leading to a desperate need for something to talk about, and how to reflect on what people say to me without ending the topic awkwardly. I also get unsure about whether to respond comically, and if so, I am terrified it would fall flat, I am very good at communicating to anyone in a phone call, or messaging, its just face to face I suck at.
Kappa We think very much alike. We can do it. We're all unique and awesome. We just need to be ourselves and not care. (: Think about the moments people have laughed at your silly joke. Think about how adorable you are and how people see that. Use your strengths to your advantage. We all have them (:
Started doing those affirmations yesterday and they have already made me do things I could have never done before. Literally living on my edge now ! Thank you my friend ! I have an amazing feeling about this and cannot wait to see what it does on a subconscious level! !
Thanks Bro! I am over two months in saying - thinking for atleast 5 min a day..I am completely independent of the good or bad opinions of others. I must say it is feeling profound. I will try 5 min confident visualizations for 2 months.. Thank You so much Leo!
Another thing is that I lack expression - I can be happy and sad but I just don't show it and people can't decide whether I'm sarcastic when I speak or not. And for some reason I find it hard to compliment people it makes me feel awkward even though it's a nice thing to do why is this
Bart Staelens We already discussed this. She is not going to care. Once she decides to have sex with you, it's a done deal. Whether you're good or bad, she will still enjoy it and she will be nice about it. Have some faith in yourself that you will know what to do. Your body will naturally know so you will not be as bad as you think.
I feel the same too, I think we have the same problem of confidence swings! Self-esteem and confidence are key and probably more important than most skills we develop in school. I have found it very useful in the last 8 months of my life and the benefits are starting to reveal themselves. It is hard work to change your mindset and reprogram your brain like this, but I managed to get good at this by reading a lot from people who have done this and succeeded. These books jump.blinkist.com/SHgn helped me a lot to progress in staying confident and positive in my approach to life. I found a lot of best-selling books here that are transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in 15 minutes. I hope you get your confidence back!
I am from India and we mostly speak Hindi here and our 2nd language is English so I am not fluent while speaking it and my siblings never missed a chance to laugh on me whenever I made any grammatical error. I wanna go and study abroad but I can't because I am not confident enough while speaking English. I can type it but cannot speak without stammering.
I'm gonna subscribe NOW! Your videos are so insightful, helpful and so eye opening it's unreal! Sh*t, I even feel like shaving my head to begin getting where you are in your mindset right now.
Leo, thanks for these videos. As I was listening to you mention that an event in one's childhood (such as bullying) could lower self-confidence, a lightbulb went on. I was bullied in the 6th grade, but held up by my family as some gift from God (I always heard how pretty/intelligent/polite/etc I was). So I was getting very opposing points of view, and I developed this weird hybrid personality of entitlement and passive-aggressive judgment with avoidance of eye contact and physical reactions in anticipation of having to share my thoughts with new people. As you keep saying in your videos, what other people think - good or bad - is irrelevant. I've started the affirmation about how I'm independent of the opinions of others, and I look forward to living up to my potential eventually! I'm an introvert and many of my positive traits are thanks to this, but I'm also shy, and I just assumed for the longest time that the two went together. Now I can envision a version of myself that is a confident introvert. Who would've thought!
I am an introvert. I have always been an introvert. I like being an introvert. I wouldn't change it for the world. It is a gift. :) I do not think introversion has anything to do with confidence. It is a natural comfort and enjoyment of being alone with one’s self. I think extroverts are being egotistical when they believe that their natural tendencies are superior. Both introversion and extroversion have strengths associated with them. Neither is superior. I imagine a world with nothing but extroverts wouldn't function very well. Not much would get done.
in the video you equate being an introvert with being meak, not decisive, and shy. I find my introversion is a point of strength. Also, the idea that we are born as extroverts and become introverts by some sort of trauma makes introversion seem like an inferior state - something to overcome. Studies have shown that introversion is biologically based - it has something to do with neurotransmitters and sensativity to dopamine.
***** Yes, introversion is biological, but it's also environmental. Many introverts are socially incompetent because of bad upbringing and lack of socialization experience. That was the case with me. I will always be an introvert, but I have become so much stronger now because I push myself to socialize and be extroverted.
Actualized.org I'm introverted but i want to hang out with girls every now and then, maybe once or twice a week since I enjoy working on stuff (self teaching), do you think it would be beneficial for me to talk to girls or just focus on learning and growing (age 17)
Bar/club/gym I can be really damn confident but when I go grocery shopping, barbershop, church, the mall, on a date i start sweating uncontrollably. Even when I’m home alone by just thinking about it I feel my face going in flames and start sweating. Girls always want to hang out with me but I’m always making up excuses for the fact that Ill embarrass myself. I’ve beaten myself up physically/mentally because I used to love socializing until I got a scar from one side of my head to the other and everything changed after that. It got to the point that I’m saving up to get Botox and hopefully stop this problem. I’m glad I came across your videos tho.
I followed your advice Leo. I can honestly say it did help me with my confidence. I smile more, I actually have become comfortable with taking selfies. Which for me pictures where a no no. Also my dating situation has improved a lot. Ps your book list is epic
Leo, I want to say thank you for your video's. I can't even explain how much influence it made to my life. I suffered with anxiety my hole life and for the first time I am relaxed, feeling complete, good enough, laughing at my flaws and deeply happy. It's as if my eyes opened up to a new world. Real, Thank you so much!
I am introvert because I never learned how to be secure around people. I suffered from panic attacks and anxiety because being bullied all thru school. But thank God I am better off today. But I do still deal with social anxiety due to the self limiting beliefs, which I developed while being bullied. But everyday I work on renewing my mind and this really helps.. Thank YOu...
hey thank god i found you, i become an introvert after a relation went bad, the fact is that i was the perfect kind of person i managed to make friends with everybody and i was a natural leader.. im working on fixing myself up again. thank you :)
When you're in a group, and they're chatting about things you don't know or haven't experienced well enough to care about, like relationships, what can the most confident person do?, focus on the games on his mobile phone?.
You are a true life changer! I'm making it a habit to listen to your videos daily. I struggle with fear on a daily basis, and have social anxiety! Going to start to implement some of these techniques and I really believe they would benefit anyone who puts them into action.
This is brilliant Leo. I really agree with most of this, being a natural introvert doesn't make you necessarily a shy person, but I do get the idea that there could have been a moment or limiting beliefs growing up, and I certainly know the attitude of my parents growing up instilled this on me, made me look for approval from others to feel good about myself and I can DEFINITELY see how a 'traumatic event could suppress natural extroversion' from the get go. Rejection from my parents if I didn't act a certain way to make them look good and feeling unable to express my true feelings growing up really had its toll on me from 15 upwards, definitely confusing and difficult to form proper relationships with people, something which is still work in progress in my twenties today.
I was a very lively child but got bullied by other girls and boys and school, especially after I was diagnosed with ocd by my mother and well meaning friends at the age of 10. Also my family was looked down on because my dad was narcissistic and rude. My mom and my older sister picked me apart during my teenage years. I believe these things are why I’m not confident. Thank you for this video.
Please talk about these three topics, you are awesome. 1. Laughing at yourself 2. Laughing with everybody else.. Feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin. 3. Standing up for you!
I always glean something helpful from you Leo. I came out of a long relationship that was tearing me down as a man... but didn't realize it till I was out and facing life again on my own. For me, remembering and exercising the positive things in my character has brought me an awesome girlfriend and a great space in my life. That's my big take away from almost all dating/life coaches... work on you, work on who you really are deep down, spiritually, mentally, physically and then personality will start to flow from that naturally.
Hey Leo. I live in Finland and majority of people in here are introverts. Can it be that nothing specific has happened to them and it is just that they have got used to it since they were born? Is it a bad society that could be a lot better if people could be more extroverted?
farnoush samani ua-cam.com/video/V14hefQyulA/v-deo.html hey check out my latest video on this topic if you like it's about how to embrace your quirks and be confident anyways , I am a mental health therapist and want to help others with tips to build self esteem and confidence :)
This dude literally touched on everything I do which is all the above my self consequence wont leave me alone me honestly I think the shit weird so I know other ppl do
Is it possible to become confident sober like when you are drunk? when i have a few glasses of alcohol i just don't give a shit and am confident talking to girls. But i want to do that when sober.
It's great that you also have a video called How to stay focused cause at around 5 minutes watching this video i realized that i've missed last 3.. You're awesome.
Extraversion and introversion relate to how you get your energy, not confidence or shy-ness. I’m an internal processor/ thinker but am not socially anxious, etc. Batak Obama is an introvert but most people wouldn’t say he lacks confidence
I'm 19 and I have a lack of confidence and anxiety. I was worse til I started attending consulting sessions. I still have those problems. This video really gave me a good idea. I DEFINITELY be going to do my assignment for 2 months without missing a day!
I lack conifedence at school. The people at school make me feel less and make me want to keep my voice inside. Afrer this video i think i wont let them do that I lack confidence in talking and socializing A confident person would speak out and wont care what others say for what that person has said. i lack confidence in talking to teachers A confident person would try socializing more and speaking out more in class.
Leo, your videos are amazing. They have really helped me out with my issues. There is still a lot for me to work on but you've helped me get on the right track!
You keep confusing the term "introvert" with shyness, and you keep asserting that introversion is some kind of problem that can be or even should be changed. All of those assumptions are misguided.
wulf67 No they're not.Shyness and introversion are both based on lack of confidence. Same remedy for each. Coming out of one's shell doesn't mean having to give up enjoying one's own company or being forced to deal with people we don't like. It just means finding the happy balance and being in control of how we interact with our fellow human beings - instead of having our interaction controlled by past experiences or by other people's approval or disapproval. I'm an extrovert and I love spending time alone..... wouldn't give it up for the world. Balance is key.
wulf67 I have covered the works of Jung both as an undergraduate and as part of my Psychology post grad studies. But that's not even relevant since no-one needs to study Jung to disprove your above assertion. Your reply is rather juvenile since all it contains is (a) a suggestion that a person should go use google, and (b) the implication that Jung was correct so that if we study him we too will be correct. Nonsense, some of the most reputable minds have disagreed with many of Jung's theories. Perhaps it is you who needs to go use google. I suggest you start with "How to defend your opinion in a mature way". Have a nice day.
Name one "reputable mind" who suggests that introversion has anything to do with a "lack of confidence" or that either introversion or extroversion can or even should be changed. I will read their work and come back with a rebuttal. OK go.
wulf67 "Ok go."?? Excuse me.... you may get away with that in your own home, but I certainly do not fall into step at your command. You clearly have a problem not only with debating in a mature manner, but also with basic interaction. "Now go" indeed. Only an idiot would consider engaging at this low level of interaction with you. And since I am not an idiot I have no intention of wasting my time doing so. Sounds like you have some growing up to do. I wish you well. Goodbye. (Ok go? It's actually quite funny that you would even expect to find someone to engage with you in a discussion after displaying such a condescending style, lol.)
I have a problem when you generalize extroversion to confidence and introversion to shyness . Looking deep within and observing the world from there is what introversion is all about . Shyness however is the ability to not express oneself in social situations . Iv seen many extroverted people crawl back in when asked to speak in public , and there have been many introverts who are excellent speakers and connect with audience on a deep philosophical level . I enjoy a lot of your videos . Iam rather perturbed at how you oversimplified this definition . I would define myself as an opportunist ambi-vert which is quite a bad unstable space to be in . Cheers.
I agree. My profession deals with public speaking and I'm great at it. I also don't believe he took into account how as introverts the energy is exhausted in dealing with people. I exercise both extrovert and intro characteristics but I lean more towards intro. I had house guests over and I was social and had a great time, but after two hours I was ready for them to leave. My husband being the extrovert he is thought I was being negative and didn't understand, but I was truly drained. It wasn't because I wanted to hide due to shyness. I literally get tired of being around people nonstop after a few hours. I don't even care if people view it as anti social. I enjoy my own company! Lol. This is a great video and I do think people can become introverted due to traumatic events and so forth, but that's not the case for everyone. I think he does a disservice by simplifying introversion to social anxiety and shyness. Extroverts deal with confidence issues too.
You are the most helpful person! Ive been trying to find videos that help and articles, but you are the only person who's brought it down to my level and brought it to an easy understanding. Thank you!
I generally like your videos but the idea of everyone being born extroverted is simply ignorant. There are shades of personalities and there is nothing wrong with being introverted. Perhaps some people are made to become an introvert through life, but many of us (in fact, perhaps a whole continent of people) are simply born that way - preferring to think than to speak, to express themselves gently to not impose on others, and to be silently confident in who they are. Maybe the book Quiet by Susan Cain will enlighten you on the world of introverts.
Bottom line of this 18 min video : -face and experience situations where you see yourself not confident -Repeat "i love being confident" and "i don't care about other's opinions" each for 5 minutes a day -Daydream yourself in situations where you feel not confident -socialize more You're welcome
Limiting belief and the surrounding absolutely affect a person’ growth. Especially confidence level. I was in such situation and had to grow out of it. Even today I am still struggling from my background to fully express myself confidently. And buy not saying I am not confident, subconsciously helps to reprogram the mindset. Thanks for sharing Leo.
My problem is small talk, I don't have anything to talk about and I find the "how are you how's the kids blah blah" talk so so boring I'd rather not speak, I feel like I don't have anything worth speaking about either, I honestly have nothing going on in my life to bring up. Any advise welcome...?
Thanks Leo. Good stuff. Much appreciated. I knew that affirmations and visualizations are good, I just forgot about them and I'm going to start them again now. Just because you get older, doesn't necessarily mean you are immune to self-confidence issues.
I don't think that most of us introverts want to turn into extroverts. We think of them as shallow and simple people that glorify social expectations. I don't see a reason why introversion and confidence would be mutually exclusive. Unless you simply mean "shy."
Yes, you can be a confident introvert. I just find that many people who have confidence issues tend to be introverts. Extroverts don't have this problem as much. I personally struggled with shyness a lot. I still do. But when I push myself to be more extroverted, the shyness is relieved. I also think that many people label themselves "introvert" when in fact what they are is just socially inexperienced and cooped up.
I try to be confident but it back fires somehow so I just isolate but then I go try again and fail and isolate again. It's a merry go round but I know if I don't want to live alone and do nothing... I have to keep trying... Thanks for the tips Leo... I will try... I think the most wonderful thing about you is that you are sharing what has helped you so it is extremely authentic and helpful...
This is a rather small detail, and completely besides the purpose of this video. However, I really appreciate that you used both male and female pronouns in this video. Too often, confidence is tied to being a "male" thing.
List.. - stop thinking as you are shy person. (Everything is changeable) -limiting belief (stop making fool yourself) - on a date....to meet her -among the girls take the alternative solutions Two affimation .... I love being confident. I am independent of good or bad opinions of other people... push through the fear, anxiety.... expose with the social ..
Thank you for helping me evolve me as a person I really enjoyed you and I truly am becoming the best version of myself keep expressing truth and continue to help free the life of others
Just wanted to say your video was excellent! You explain the theory of limiting beliefs really clearly that resonates with myself so well. I found this video helped connect so many dots for me, as I found the many self help books that I read just dont explain the theory in a way that I could relate too. When someone gives examples of their own situation, it is far more easier to then highlight your own issues. So thank you and keep up the great vids.
I just want to share this to you Leo: I'm in college and I try to socialize with people everyday and share what I have to say to them, I'm honest with my intentions to know what the other person has to share but lately I talked to a lot of people and many of them are boring or find it akward to share their personal stuff with me they only want to talk about stuff like studies, major and college and they don't make this exercise easier either a lot of times
another point also is to not get discouraged when you see other people more confident than you are, don't downgrade yourself and think in a negative way or say i'm not as confident as they are, no, do not focus on that, focus on yourself and always think positively about yourself. fake it till you make it
1/write down all types of situations where you felt not confident. 2/Affirmations: 1- I LOVE BEING CONFIDENT 2- I AM INDEPENDENT OF THE GOOD OR BAD OPINIONS OF OTHERS. I got the second one from another video of yours and i can honestly say that it did change me, it is still pinned to my wall a year later today and i still repeat it and i am a new person. 3/visualize your yourself in all of those situations and that you are being completely assertive and confident in them. 4/be more social • Do daily for at least 2 months
Hi, Leo! I discovered your videos by chance one week ago and since then i succeeded to put order in some of my thoughts and have a more logical perspective on life and that helped me sleep so much better. And that is a biiiiiiiig step for me. Thank you so much!
Good advice, I had to find my own way because I come from an extremely unique background, but I've done much of what this guy suggests, and it worked for me. I'm still working on my confidence, but I'm not nearly as reclusive as I used to be. One thing that I plan on doing is a little extreme, but I'm changing my legal given name (I've actually always despised it for personal reasons and believe its part of whats holding me back). With my new self-chosen name that I can be proud of, I have been working on envisioning a different version of my personality that will carry this name. This other person will be similar to who I was, but far more confident , and will have newer and more improved habits and patterns of thought. I'm giving myself over a year to work on this person so that when the time comes to change my name, I'll already be close to having that personality, and changing my name will be like the lock or cement that seals in the new peak of confidence. This will not work for everyone, so be very careful if you're thinking about trying. it. Confidence is a mental transformation, not a legal or physical one. Physical and even legal actions can help, but should not be what you rely on. Follow this guys suggestions, and I guarantee you WILL change for the better. I only I wish I had found this video much, much sooner.
At least most of your audience speak English I dont. well I do but not as good as the people born here. I guess to boost my confidence I will have to learn English even know it doesn't stop me to communicate, I have that insecurity in my shoulders in every word I speak and is very heavy. I feel stocked in the same place just watching how opportunities in general come and go just because of my language. Thank you Leo I have been watching your videos non stop, every time I watch your videos i know that I am doing something productive for my life and I am taking actions as well. Thank you again.
this video is very useful for me. because, usually I don't have any confidence in me. but, after watching this video, I feel like blossoming in my heart. also, it gives me a feel that i am a new born baby. everything looks very beautiful. i enjoy everything.
Leo, i love the fact that ive stumbled upon your channel! you have such an incredible knowledge that i was needing, thanks to you im starting to see things in a whole different and more positive way! thanks!
Was sceptical about affirmations at first but have been trying them for a month and yes they definitely help, it's a great partner to mindfulness. Also love the reverse worrying technique in this video.
it takes time to build confidence when you are learning a new skill. This is new job to me and I'll try with confidence on my work and feeling of trust.
Man! Your videos are so so brilliant. Listening to them one after the other I see myself from childhood up to now ( I am 63) as a movie. Now I see clearly why am I where I am today. Broke, lonely and defeated. But, you know what, I did jail brake my mind. I am now out of all that junk man. With your videos I am going to fix my life for sure. I was trying to buy your course but there is something wrong in checkout. I sent two emails. I really want to suck your brain and fill mine with all that wisdom, knowledge and understanding. You are a genius. Great teacher. You will not just become a mere millionaire but a multi billionaire soon. Thank you so very much Leo.
I just started going to college this week and I want to make more quality friends. I usually wait until someone approaches me because I'm too scared to do it, specially with girls, it is very difficult for me to say what I really think or want. I hope I can change that soon. This video has been really helpful, I'm going to start these visualizations right away. Thanks a lot and greetings from Mexico.
That's normal. You gotta push yourself. It won't be easy at first but it will be worth it if you persist. College is the BEST time to meet girls. It will be so much harder after college, so take advantage of the easy pickings now!
If you liked this video, I recommend you watch these related videos too:
1) Self Esteem - Understanding & Fixing Low Self-Esteem
2) How To Stop Worrying - The Fundamentals of Eliminating Worry
3) How To Overcome Shyness - Transform Yourself Into An Extrovert
4) Self Confidence - The Two Essential Avenues For Building Confidence
I remember the good times when i was confident.
I used to be the one in class that was never afraid of telling people exactly how i feel. But then i managed to destroy myself.
I tried changing myself. I thought that if i cared for others, more people would like me. Turned out i was wrong. All i did was ruin myself with social anxiety and depression
+Games Cooky Getting your needs met externally is pretty much guaranteeing feeling empty at some point down the road. I've been in your shoes and realized a lot of choices I'd made regarding relationships and even career decisions were based upon getting my needs met through these avenues. Then you get to the point you're at now and wonder wtf happened??? Well, you've acknowledged what happened and know what you did to get there. Now is the time to do the work to figure out what makes you happy and focus on that. I know external influences can sometimes make these positive life change feel like they're wrong or not good as they're letting you know how it affects them. This might be good for you but not for them. Once you realize you don't need others to make you feel fulfilled you're on your way. Regarding meds, I take mirtazipine at night and have for 1 1/2 years. I sleep great (was having issues) and any anxiety has really diminished so it's quite manageable. I have ativan on standby for specific occurrences and take sparingly. Good luck.
Same bro
+Games Cooky I feel like im on the exact same path. I used to always crack jokes and everyone would tell me how I should become a comedian and I would make my class laugh daily, but then that started having an impact on my grades because my teachers didn't like how I interrupted at times so I decided to change. I slowly started to notice how I got less and less invited over to friends and people who used to seem like they were close friends completely ignored me. This was in junior high and when I started at my high school (I'm in my 3rd year now) I noticed how I didn't really make any friends. I knew only one person from my previous school and so my first year I kind of just talked with people in school and tried to hang on to him, but I never socialized after school or got invited to anything and he seemed to only hang with me because I kind of made him.
I managed to switch this for a short moment after a class trip with my German class to Austria to learn more German. It was close to Vienna and we didn't have much to do in our free-time, so we partied almost every day. I got close to a lot more people, I started smiling more and I even talked to some girls. This continued for about 5 moths until at one party I made out with a girl (for the first time) and afterwords a guy pointed out how stupid I looked making out because I didn't know what the hell I was doing on top of being moderately drunk. I believe his words were that it looked like I was eating her face... (-_-) This was a huge blow to my confidence so I stopped talking with them and asking to hang out because I was too embarrassed.
That group of people stopped talking to me shortly after and now I only have about 3 friends who aren't really friends, I just hang out with them at school because i go to the same class as them, but they are part of different groups themselves and they even have a Facebook chat where they talk together, but they haven't invited me or anything and they make a bunch of plans together without me. Which just makes it that much worse ... :/
+Eivind Ludviksen my friend, you need to not give a f___what people think. Believe me, everyone goes through this. Be yourself. I use to be a class clown and had lower grades but their are many ways to success. Keep a balance in life. BELIEVE ME
***** Yeah, I know I shouldn't give a shit, but it's hard not to... I don't want to be a loner, but my self esteem is way too low to start socializing, it's an evil circle. I guess I should just try to take it step by step until I can build up enough self esteem. It's hard though, because people are assholes and a girl recently told me that I would die alone, which was hard to hear (even though she didn't mean it).
I watched this video 5 years ago and shit happened in life that killed my confidence. Getting robbed and maced and beat and just catching other L's in life. I been working on myself again though and have been looking for this specific video as I used these 2 affirmations all the time before and it helped a lot. I used to preach about affirmations to other people too. But thanks Leo I'm going to do this again and get my confidence back and chip away at my insecurities and social anxiety. To whoever's reading this I'm rooting for you baby and the best things in life are yet to come, never give up! I believe in you.
Hey how's it going? Things going better for you now?
I can't explain how much I appreciate you and your amazing videos. You've really changed my life to the better and I'm so thankful for that. You're so smart and kind and I hope that you know how much impact these videos can make on a person's entire life!
Why, thanks! :)
+Actualized.org
me too you changed my life bro
i first discovred you by the video about meditation and through that i was able to quit smoking both tobbacco & weed also other videos too are intresting and have alot of wisdom
salute & thank you very much brother
Peace
he isnt really kind, he just speaks the truth
+Charlie Crome jelous
Charlie Crome he's kind to share his knowledge with us and isn't obligated at all so he therefore is very kind
I've never felt jealous of how much money certain people make and/or what they own... Only felt jealous of the confidence and drive that they had to get them to where they are today. I simply cannot express in to words just how important it is to have a certain degree of confidence. It affects so many things in your life, not just relationships. Honestly, I'd rather have a ton of confidence ingrained into me over having a billion dollars. It's not something you could simply buy. Which is why a video like is so important. Thanks for sharing :)
you are a genius!....u just opened my eyes Oo
rsuriyop So did you do the affirmations and the visualizations for two months?
If you had a ton of confidence you would eventually get your billion dollars.
Every morning for at least _2 months_ :
Affirmation 1 for 5 minutes - 🥰 *_I love being confident_*
Affirmation 2 for 5 minutes - 😎 *_I am independent of the good or bad opinion of others_*
Visualisation for 5 minutes -🤳 Play *_the movie_* out in my mind
That’s great, Leo. Thanks.
Will do that
Isn’t better to just go to gym and turn into hulk?
@@tomstan6785 Or both
I'm still in the middle of watching your video but I just had to stop and tell you Thankyou for making a commitment to help improving the lives of other people such as myself who've struggled with confidence and thriving socially. It means so much to me and others!
Find your life purpose, create your dream career.
Check out my comprehensive video course.
90+ exclusive videos, 20+ hours and 200GBs of content!
www.actualized.org/life-purpose-course
+Actualized.org damn i hate myself for doing this affirmations, they feel so cheesy!
+arnold traore Affirmations dont do shit.
rivenz6 yep im skeptical about it too. i was doing them long ago. so every day i was thinking and visualizing, how im fighting, being beaten to death, being stabbed etc. and how im not afraid of death and how i dont give up. and i assured myself that i was fearless of fights and death and i could take on anyone, even 100 men. but once i got in a conflict situation, i became anxious, nervous, and thats when my illusions broke down!
+Memento Mori Do you really think life has no purpose ?
***** As sad as it sounds your probably right, guess we'll find out when we die. But until then have a good one Memento mori haha!
Being introverted isn't synonymous with lack of confidence.
Exactly.
I am an introvert who seems very confident but not truly is. Also i happen to get defensive when someone points at my lack of confidence. Because i am afraid of being seen like one (because i lack confidence)
Quiet by Susan Cain explains it all!! People say "introverted" like it is negative thing but it is not. Everybody embraces the "Extrovert Ideal" of appearance instead of character and small talk over deep conversations. Some people are just introverts by nature and people can't accept it (conformity)
Its annoying when introversion is treated as a disadvantage or disease.
WAKEUP!!! Exactly
Thank you Leo!!!!!... My masculinity has been stripped from me through my divorce. I came to the realization that I had no clue who I was while I was even in that relationship. And have lived a life with no definitions;i only followed what people have told me I should be doing. this is a game changer for me. I think you've saved my life.
Good. You got a lot of personal development to do. Stick with it and you'll get some HUGE gains.
I went from being a professional athlete to church mouse and spent b the last 2 years fumbling (no pun intended) trying to get my stride back...I look forward to working this out. Your blog is a godsend.
+Actualized.org
can u contact with me pervat?
How did it go?
Here is the gist of it-
1. stop believing that you lack confidence
2. pinpoint the source of your lack of confidence
3. Think about different ways in which you could've handled the situation.
4.Say affirmations everyday (classic self help #1)
5.Visualize (classic self help #2)
6. Socialize more
The first 3 points are a bit abstract , and honestly very difficult to do alone. funny thing is shy people are often alone . This delving into oneselfs deep patterns is not only a practice that is very hard to follow , but is very ,very easy to leave.
correct me if i am wrong but 90% of people who watch this may do what he said for about not more than a week.
Isint there another way? a more plausible way?
One more question- should one accept that he/she is shy and start to improve from the bottom , or stay in denial and force oneself to perform on real life situations,and hence learn to be confident by trial and error?
both ways seem logically correct.
+I Wanna Eat Mai Shiranui's Yummy Booty Lol and thats exactly why they havent worked for you.
***** You seem like a fun person to be around.
I have found the answer
***** I have found the person who found a person who has found the answer
ok
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience by which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.
Amen! :D Let your fear purify you.
The greatest thing about this channel is that there is communication with the ''man behind the camera''. Not a lot actually answer to comments but you friend are fantastic you deserve way more people to find you out not just because for your own credit but for theirs too. Thanks a lot man.
My pleasure :)
I had always been an extrovert but then two years ago, i gained a few pounds. It didn't change much except the way I started looking at myself, which led to me into a shell i didn't realize even existed until i found myself saying no to every good opportunity that life threw my way. I lack confidence when meeting new people, and my college starts soon and i am terrified of how i would be introducing myself to new people and possibly even making new friends. your video has really helped me and i can't wait to start working on this because you made me realize all the great thing i might be missing out on. A truly wonderful video. :)
My problem is that my primary concern is literally not embarassing myself, I often feel a surge of pressure, leading to a desperate need for something to talk about, and how to reflect on what people say to me without ending the topic awkwardly.
I also get unsure about whether to respond comically, and if so, I am terrified it would fall flat, I am very good at communicating to anyone in a phone call, or messaging, its just face to face I suck at.
same
Kappa We think very much alike. We can do it. We're all unique and awesome. We just need to be ourselves and not care. (: Think about the moments people have laughed at your silly joke. Think about how adorable you are and how people see that. Use your strengths to your advantage. We all have them (:
You have the same problem I have down to the t
I love the way he really goes in and breaks it down step by step.
Started doing those affirmations yesterday and they have already made me do things I could have never done before. Literally living on my edge now ! Thank you my friend ! I have an amazing feeling about this and cannot wait to see what it does on a subconscious level! !
This is the only video that has ever made sense. and your not even asking for money leo you are a saint
Thanks Bro! I am over two months in saying - thinking for atleast 5 min a day..I am completely independent of the good or bad opinions of others. I must say it is feeling profound. I will try 5 min confident visualizations for 2 months.. Thank You so much Leo!
Good work! Stay at it
Actualized.org I messed up and missed two days should I continue on or restart?
Actualized.org I messed up and missed two days should I continue on or restart?
Another thing is that I lack expression - I can be happy and sad but I just don't show it and people can't decide whether I'm sarcastic when I speak or not. And for some reason I find it hard to compliment people it makes me feel awkward even though it's a nice thing to do why is this
You are just socially inexperienced. Go socialize more.
Bart Staelens We already discussed this. She is not going to care. Once she decides to have sex with you, it's a done deal. Whether you're good or bad, she will still enjoy it and she will be nice about it. Have some faith in yourself that you will know what to do. Your body will naturally know so you will not be as bad as you think.
the more compliment people, the more natural it will become.
You might be an INTJ/ISTJ. This is just your personality based on your primary psychological functions. You are more a thinker rather than a feeler.
I was the loudest kid in kindergarten i dont know what heapend
you were probably made to thin that was bad and from then on have to been able to reach the same amount of confidence.
Animating Wolf dont worry if you keep doing this;you gonna get back your natural extraversion
IKR
I feel the same too, I think we have the same problem of confidence swings! Self-esteem and confidence are key and probably more important than most skills we develop in school. I have found it very useful in the last 8 months of my life and the benefits are starting to reveal themselves. It is hard work to change your mindset and reprogram your brain like this, but I managed to get good at this by reading a lot from people who have done this and succeeded. These books jump.blinkist.com/SHgn helped me a lot to progress in staying confident and positive in my approach to life. I found a lot of best-selling books here that are transformed into powerful packs you can read or listen to in 15 minutes. I hope you get your confidence back!
I am from India and we mostly speak Hindi here and our 2nd language is English so I am not fluent while speaking it and my siblings never missed a chance to laugh on me whenever I made any grammatical error. I wanna go and study abroad but I can't because I am not confident enough while speaking English. I can type it but cannot speak without stammering.
I'm gonna subscribe NOW! Your videos are so insightful, helpful and so eye opening it's unreal! Sh*t, I even feel like shaving my head to begin getting where you are in your mindset right now.
Lol
Actualized.org that answer made my day man :D
Leo, thanks for these videos. As I was listening to you mention that an event in one's childhood (such as bullying) could lower self-confidence, a lightbulb went on. I was bullied in the 6th grade, but held up by my family as some gift from God (I always heard how pretty/intelligent/polite/etc I was). So I was getting very opposing points of view, and I developed this weird hybrid personality of entitlement and passive-aggressive judgment with avoidance of eye contact and physical reactions in anticipation of having to share my thoughts with new people. As you keep saying in your videos, what other people think - good or bad - is irrelevant. I've started the affirmation about how I'm independent of the opinions of others, and I look forward to living up to my potential eventually! I'm an introvert and many of my positive traits are thanks to this, but I'm also shy, and I just assumed for the longest time that the two went together. Now I can envision a version of myself that is a confident introvert. Who would've thought!
This was Leo before he went down the rabbit hole.
I am an introvert. I have always been an introvert. I like being an introvert. I wouldn't change it for the world. It is a gift. :)
I do not think introversion has anything to do with confidence. It is a natural comfort and enjoyment of being alone with one’s self. I think extroverts are being egotistical when they believe that their natural tendencies are superior.
Both introversion and extroversion have strengths associated with them. Neither is superior. I imagine a world with nothing but extroverts wouldn't function very well. Not much would get done.
I am a hardcore introvert.
in the video you equate being an introvert with being meak, not decisive, and shy. I find my introversion is a point of strength.
Also, the idea that we are born as extroverts and become introverts by some sort of trauma makes introversion seem like an inferior state - something to overcome. Studies have shown that introversion is biologically based - it has something to do with neurotransmitters and sensativity to dopamine.
***** Yes, introversion is biological, but it's also environmental. Many introverts are socially incompetent because of bad upbringing and lack of socialization experience. That was the case with me. I will always be an introvert, but I have become so much stronger now because I push myself to socialize and be extroverted.
Actualized.org I'm introverted but i want to hang out with girls every now and then, maybe once or twice a week since I enjoy working on stuff (self teaching), do you think it would be beneficial for me to talk to girls or just focus on learning and growing (age 17)
SecretAccount Yes! Of course talk to girls. And do more than just talking ;)
Bar/club/gym I can be really damn confident but when I go grocery shopping, barbershop, church, the mall, on a date i start sweating uncontrollably. Even when I’m home alone by just thinking about it I feel my face going in flames and start sweating. Girls always want to hang out with me but I’m always making up excuses for the fact that Ill embarrass myself. I’ve beaten myself up physically/mentally because I used to love socializing until I got a scar from one side of my head to the other and everything changed after that. It got to the point that I’m saving up to get Botox and hopefully stop this problem. I’m glad I came across your videos tho.
I followed your advice Leo. I can honestly say it did help me with my confidence. I smile more, I actually have become comfortable with taking selfies. Which for me pictures where a no no. Also my dating situation has improved a lot.
Ps your book list is epic
My journey to my present self began with you, six years ago in middle school. Know that you have helped me immensely in this time. Thank you.
I'm not confident anywhere I'm more worried in a crowd , in my class, I refused to go in front of students during my presentation
Leo, I want to say thank you for your video's. I can't even explain how much influence it made to my life. I suffered with anxiety my hole life and for the first time I am relaxed, feeling complete, good enough, laughing at my flaws and deeply happy. It's as if my eyes opened up to a new world. Real, Thank you so much!
MAAAAASSSIVELY helpful, encouraging and practical. wow.
how’s your confidence now?
@@anonymouskat6661 how’s yours?
I am introvert because I never learned how to be secure around people. I suffered from panic attacks and anxiety because being bullied all thru school. But thank God I am better off today. But I do still deal with social anxiety due to the self limiting beliefs, which I developed while being bullied. But everyday I work on renewing my mind and this really helps.. Thank YOu...
Thankyou so much! This video had completely changed my life.
hey thank god i found you, i become an introvert after a relation went bad, the fact is that i was the perfect kind of person i managed to make friends with everybody and i was a natural leader.. im working on fixing myself up again. thank you :)
omg 2 years passed since this comment, I changed completely since ahaha
When you're in a group, and they're chatting about things you don't know or haven't experienced well enough to care about, like relationships, what can the most confident person do?, focus on the games on his mobile phone?.
You are a true life changer! I'm making it a habit to listen to your videos daily. I struggle with fear on a daily basis, and have social anxiety! Going to start to implement some of these techniques and I really believe they would benefit anyone who puts them into action.
Your videos are amazing and inspiring. I've been watching for days and you're making a difference in my life. Just wanted to thank you. :)
This is brilliant Leo. I really agree with most of this, being a natural introvert doesn't make you necessarily a shy person, but I do get the idea that there could have been a moment or limiting beliefs growing up, and I certainly know the attitude of my parents growing up instilled this on me, made me look for approval from others to feel good about myself and I can DEFINITELY see how a 'traumatic event could suppress natural extroversion' from the get go. Rejection from my parents if I didn't act a certain way to make them look good and feeling unable to express my true feelings growing up really had its toll on me from 15 upwards, definitely confusing and difficult to form proper relationships with people, something which is still work in progress in my twenties today.
Can you pleeaaassseee make a video about how to sleep well because I have serious sleep problems right now.
Alrighty
OMG THANK YOU SOOOO MUCH !
thats exactly why im watching this
Actualized
Close your eyes and boom
I was a very lively child but got bullied by other girls and boys and school, especially after I was diagnosed with ocd by my mother and well meaning friends at the age of 10. Also my family was looked down on because my dad was narcissistic and rude. My mom and my older sister picked me apart during my teenage years. I believe these things are why I’m not confident. Thank you for this video.
You're awesome Leo!!
Please talk about these three topics, you are awesome.
1. Laughing at yourself
2. Laughing with everybody else.. Feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin.
3. Standing up for you!
Fake it till u make it. fake ur confidence until its just natural
I always glean something helpful from you Leo. I came out of a long relationship that was tearing me down as a man... but didn't realize it till I was out and facing life again on my own. For me, remembering and exercising the positive things in my character has brought me an awesome girlfriend and a great space in my life. That's my big take away from almost all dating/life coaches... work on you, work on who you really are deep down, spiritually, mentally, physically and then personality will start to flow from that naturally.
Hey Leo. I live in Finland and majority of people in here are introverts. Can it be that nothing specific has happened to them and it is just that they have got used to it since they were born? Is it a bad society that could be a lot better if people could be more extroverted?
+farnoush samani It's probably the culture.
I want to date with you:)
With me?
farnoush samani me too ! i want to date you ! 🤗
farnoush samani ua-cam.com/video/V14hefQyulA/v-deo.html hey check out my latest video on this topic if you like it's about how to embrace your quirks and be confident anyways , I am a mental health therapist and want to help others with tips to build self esteem and confidence :)
This dude literally touched on everything I do which is all the above my self consequence wont leave me alone me honestly I think the shit weird so I know other ppl do
Is it possible to become confident sober like when you are drunk? when i have a few glasses of alcohol i just don't give a shit and am confident talking to girls. But i want to do that when sober.
Yup, I've done it and so have many other guys. You gotta open a lot of first in a row. Try opening 20 girls in 60 minutes.
It's great that you also have a video called How to stay focused cause at around 5 minutes watching this video i realized that i've missed last 3..
You're awesome.
I would have disagree with you on the fact that everyone was born extroverted
Have you ever seen a child ages 1-2 that was not extroverted? The answer is no unless this child is enduring extreme trama.
@@XoeCox yeah i saw,my nephew
Extraversion and introversion relate to how you get your energy, not confidence or shy-ness. I’m an internal processor/ thinker but am not socially anxious, etc. Batak Obama is an introvert but most people wouldn’t say he lacks confidence
I'm 19 and I have a lack of confidence and anxiety. I was worse til I started attending consulting sessions. I still have those problems. This video really gave me a good idea. I DEFINITELY be going to do my assignment for 2 months without missing a day!
I lack conifedence at school. The people at school make me feel less and make me want to keep my voice inside. Afrer this video i think i wont let them do that
I lack confidence in talking and socializing
A confident person would speak out and wont care what others say for what that person has said.
i lack confidence in talking to teachers
A confident person would try socializing more and speaking out more in class.
Leo, your videos are amazing. They have really helped me out with my issues. There is still a lot for me to work on but you've helped me get on the right track!
99% of the times people are not confident because they think they are not good looking.
I watched all the video about confidence on UA-cam but this one it's the best... Thank you so much
You keep confusing the term "introvert" with shyness, and you keep asserting that introversion is some kind of problem that can be or even should be changed. All of those assumptions are misguided.
wulf67 No they're not.Shyness and introversion are both based on lack of confidence. Same remedy for each. Coming out of one's shell doesn't mean having to give up enjoying one's own company or being forced to deal with people we don't like. It just means finding the happy balance and being in control of how we interact with our fellow human beings - instead of having our interaction controlled by past experiences or by other people's approval or disapproval. I'm an extrovert and I love spending time alone..... wouldn't give it up for the world. Balance is key.
Helenaville Google any reputable source on the subject and you will see that you are wrong, If you're really interested study the work of Carl Jung.
wulf67 I have covered the works of Jung both as an undergraduate and as part of my Psychology post grad studies. But that's not even relevant since no-one needs to study Jung to disprove your above assertion.
Your reply is rather juvenile since all it contains is (a) a suggestion that a person should go use google, and (b) the implication that Jung was correct so that if we study him we too will be correct. Nonsense, some of the most reputable minds have disagreed with many of Jung's theories. Perhaps it is you who needs to go use google. I suggest you start with "How to defend your opinion in a mature way".
Have a nice day.
Name one "reputable mind" who suggests that introversion has anything to do with a "lack of confidence" or that either introversion or extroversion can or even should be changed. I will read their work and come back with a rebuttal. OK go.
wulf67 "Ok go."?? Excuse me.... you may get away with that in your own home, but I certainly do not fall into step at your command. You clearly have a problem not only with debating in a mature manner, but also with basic interaction. "Now go" indeed. Only an idiot would consider engaging at this low level of interaction with you. And since I am not an idiot I have no intention of wasting my time doing so. Sounds like you have some growing up to do. I wish you well. Goodbye. (Ok go? It's actually quite funny that you would even expect to find someone to engage with you in a discussion after displaying such a condescending style, lol.)
I just adore the way you deliver your speeches!
I have a problem when you generalize extroversion to confidence and introversion to shyness . Looking deep within and observing the world from there is what introversion is all about . Shyness however is the ability to not express oneself in social situations . Iv seen many extroverted people crawl back in when asked to speak in public , and there have been many introverts who are excellent speakers and connect with audience on a deep philosophical level .
I enjoy a lot of your videos . Iam rather perturbed at how you oversimplified this definition . I would define myself as an opportunist ambi-vert which is quite a bad unstable space to be in .
Cheers.
I agree. My profession deals with public speaking and I'm great at it. I also don't believe he took into account how as introverts the energy is exhausted in dealing with people. I exercise both extrovert and intro characteristics but I lean more towards intro. I had house guests over and I was social and had a great time, but after two hours I was ready for them to leave. My husband being the extrovert he is thought I was being negative and didn't understand, but I was truly drained. It wasn't because I wanted to hide due to shyness. I literally get tired of being around people nonstop after a few hours. I don't even care if people view it as anti social. I enjoy my own company! Lol. This is a great video and I do think people can become introverted due to traumatic events and so forth, but that's not the case for everyone. I think he does a disservice by simplifying introversion to social anxiety and shyness. Extroverts deal with confidence issues too.
You are the most helpful person! Ive been trying to find videos that help and articles, but you are the only person who's brought it down to my level and brought it to an easy understanding. Thank you!
I generally like your videos but the idea of everyone being born extroverted is simply ignorant. There are shades of personalities and there is nothing wrong with being introverted. Perhaps some people are made to become an introvert through life, but many of us (in fact, perhaps a whole continent of people) are simply born that way - preferring to think than to speak, to express themselves gently to not impose on others, and to be silently confident in who they are. Maybe the book Quiet by Susan Cain will enlighten you on the world of introverts.
I can't find in this video where Leo says "There is something wrong with introverts."
as usual introverts love to jump on the conclusion that everybody's out to get them and think something's wrong with them.
Im very weak in this area of my life but I will continue seeing more videos thanks
Bottom line of this 18 min video :
-face and experience situations where you see yourself not confident
-Repeat "i love being confident" and "i don't care about other's opinions" each for 5 minutes a day
-Daydream yourself in situations where you feel not confident
-socialize more
You're welcome
Limiting belief and the surrounding absolutely affect a person’ growth. Especially confidence level. I was in such situation and had to grow out of it. Even today I am still struggling from my background to fully express myself confidently. And buy not saying I am not confident, subconsciously helps to reprogram the mindset. Thanks for sharing Leo.
My problem is small talk, I don't have anything to talk about and I find the "how are you how's the kids blah blah" talk so so boring I'd rather not speak, I feel like I don't have anything worth speaking about either, I honestly have nothing going on in my life to bring up. Any advise welcome...?
+Ryan Parks How about talking about tv? Talking about cartoons is always interesting
***** Thats not a bad idea im going to take that advise! Cheers ahdriam!
Same
Thanks Leo. Good stuff. Much appreciated. I knew that affirmations and visualizations are good, I just forgot about them and I'm going to start them again now. Just because you get older, doesn't necessarily mean you are immune to self-confidence issues.
I don't think that most of us introverts want to turn into extroverts.
We think of them as shallow and simple people that glorify social expectations.
I don't see a reason why introversion and confidence would be mutually exclusive.
Unless you simply mean "shy."
Yes, you can be a confident introvert. I just find that many people who have confidence issues tend to be introverts. Extroverts don't have this problem as much. I personally struggled with shyness a lot. I still do. But when I push myself to be more extroverted, the shyness is relieved. I also think that many people label themselves "introvert" when in fact what they are is just socially inexperienced and cooped up.
Actualized.org Alright, thanks for clarifying.
I try to be confident but it back fires somehow so I just isolate but then I go try again and fail and isolate again. It's a merry go round but I know if I don't want to live alone and do nothing... I have to keep trying... Thanks for the tips
Leo... I will try... I think the most wonderful thing about you is that you are sharing what has helped you so it is extremely authentic and helpful...
This is a rather small detail, and completely besides the purpose of this video.
However, I really appreciate that you used both male and female pronouns in this video.
Too often, confidence is tied to being a "male" thing.
List..
- stop thinking as you are shy person. (Everything is changeable)
-limiting belief (stop making fool yourself)
- on a date....to meet her
-among the girls
take the alternative solutions
Two affimation ....
I love being confident.
I am independent of good or bad opinions of other people...
push through the fear, anxiety....
expose with the social ..
let's see how confident he is in an mma fight with Rampage Jackson lol
Thank you for helping me evolve me as a person I really enjoyed you and I truly am becoming the best version of myself keep expressing truth and continue to help free the life of others
He just goes on and on and never gets to the point or how to help you.
+Hubert cumberdale have you already dont them?
Just wanted to say your video was excellent! You explain the theory of limiting beliefs really clearly that resonates with myself so well. I found this video helped connect so many dots for me, as I found the many self help books that I read just dont explain the theory in a way that I could relate too. When someone gives examples of their own situation, it is far more easier to then highlight your own issues.
So thank you and keep up the great vids.
I just want to share this to you Leo: I'm in college and I try to socialize with people everyday and share what I have to say to them, I'm honest with my intentions to know what the other person has to share but lately I talked to a lot of people and many of them are boring or find it akward to share their personal stuff with me they only want to talk about stuff like studies, major and college and they don't make this exercise easier either a lot of times
I had a lot of experience in searching for the perfect way to be more confident but this advise is so far the beat one!
I love being confident and social.
another point also is to not get discouraged when you see other people more confident than you are, don't downgrade yourself and think in a negative way or say i'm not as confident as they are, no, do not focus on that, focus on yourself and always think positively about yourself. fake it till you make it
Be yourself, but when you don't like being yourself around others. It sucks. Thanks for the advice. I will definitely try this.
Those technics are awesome !!! Even their require a big discipline ! But as we all know, No pain, no gain !
thank you for your videos 😊
Thanks Leo. You're speaking truth and it really shines through. May you be blessed. Peace and Love.
I love your video and I promise you and myself that I will be confident and stop pleasing everyone else but me.
wow - brilliant insight. A psychologist mentioned the same factors which brought me to your video. You are literally changing lives with your content
1/write down all types of situations where you felt not confident.
2/Affirmations:
1- I LOVE BEING CONFIDENT
2- I AM INDEPENDENT OF THE GOOD OR BAD OPINIONS OF OTHERS.
I got the second one from another video of yours and i can honestly say that it did change me, it is still pinned to my wall a year later today and i still repeat it and i am a new person.
3/visualize your yourself in all of those situations and that you are being completely assertive and confident in them.
4/be more social
• Do daily for at least 2 months
Hi, Leo! I discovered your videos by chance one week ago and since then i succeeded to put order in some of my thoughts and have a more logical perspective on life and that helped me sleep so much better. And that is a biiiiiiiig step for me. Thank you so much!
I absolutely love your videos. Thanks so much for creating and posting 'em for free. There's serious value here. Cheers, man!
Good advice, I had to find my own way because I come from an extremely unique background, but I've done much of what this guy suggests, and it worked for me. I'm still working on my confidence, but I'm not nearly as reclusive as I used to be.
One thing that I plan on doing is a little extreme, but I'm changing my legal given name (I've actually always despised it for personal reasons and believe its part of whats holding me back). With my new self-chosen name that I can be proud of, I have been working on envisioning a different version of my personality that will carry this name. This other person will be similar to who I was, but far more confident , and will have newer and more improved habits and patterns of thought. I'm giving myself over a year to work on this person so that when the time comes to change my name, I'll already be close to having that personality, and changing my name will be like the lock or cement that seals in the new peak of confidence.
This will not work for everyone, so be very careful if you're thinking about trying. it. Confidence is a mental transformation, not a legal or physical one. Physical and even legal actions can help, but should not be what you rely on.
Follow this guys suggestions, and I guarantee you WILL change for the better. I only I wish I had found this video much, much sooner.
At least most of your audience speak English I dont.
well I do but not as good as the people born here. I guess to boost my confidence I will have to learn English even know it doesn't stop me to communicate, I have that insecurity in my shoulders in every word I speak and is very heavy. I feel stocked in the same place just watching how opportunities in general come and go just because of my language. Thank you Leo I have been watching your videos non stop, every time I watch your videos i know that I am doing something productive for my life and I am taking actions as well. Thank you again.
thaks leo im starting my self development evolution. you are a great helper. thanks
Thank you for helping us make sense of ourselves. I appreciate your sincere efforts to uplift humanity.
affirmations,visualizations,and live it . OK I will try it consistently and hope for the best!!
I think this will literally change my life
this video is very useful for me. because, usually I don't have any confidence in me. but, after watching this video, I feel like blossoming in my heart. also, it gives me a feel that i am a new born baby. everything looks very beautiful. i enjoy everything.
Sweet! Make sure you use this new-found motivation to take some action! Go push yourself.
Leo, i love the fact that ive stumbled upon your channel! you have such an incredible knowledge that i was needing, thanks to you im starting to see things in a whole different and more positive way! thanks!
you just always make sooo much sense! thank you again! every video i watch makes me a better person
thanks leo.. i m doing hard for being confident and i m trying your stuff...its going well....
I am so grateful to come up with your video.
you are really helping me. you have no idea how much I need this!
Was sceptical about affirmations at first but have been trying them for a month and yes they definitely help, it's a great partner to mindfulness. Also love the reverse worrying technique in this video.
Hmm actually I think the reverse worrying was on another video, I been watching too many of your videos
Reverse worrying was in the Law of Attraction video, I think.
it takes time to build confidence when you are learning a new skill. This is new job to me and I'll try with confidence on my work and feeling of trust.
Man! Your videos are so so brilliant. Listening to them one after the other I see myself from childhood up to now ( I am 63) as a movie.
Now I see clearly why am I where I am today. Broke, lonely and defeated.
But, you know what, I did jail brake my mind. I am now out of all that junk man.
With your videos I am going to fix my life for sure.
I was trying to buy your course but there is something wrong in checkout.
I sent two emails. I really want to suck your brain and fill mine with all that wisdom, knowledge and understanding.
You are a genius. Great teacher. You will not just become a mere millionaire but a multi billionaire soon.
Thank you so very much Leo.
I just started going to college this week and I want to make more quality friends. I usually wait until someone approaches me because I'm too scared to do it, specially with girls, it is very difficult for me to say what I really think or want. I hope I can change that soon. This video has been really helpful, I'm going to start these visualizations right away. Thanks a lot and greetings from Mexico.
That's normal. You gotta push yourself. It won't be easy at first but it will be worth it if you persist. College is the BEST time to meet girls. It will be so much harder after college, so take advantage of the easy pickings now!