How Porn Changes the Brain, Kills Intimacy & Harms Society | Guest: Sam Black | Ep 740
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- Опубліковано 7 вер 2024
- Today we're joined by Sam Black, director of life change education at Covenant Eyes and author of "The Healing Church: What Churches Get Wrong about Pornography and How to Fix It," to discuss the pervasive issue of pornography and its effects on the brain. We talk about how big a problem porn is and why it's an increasingly prevalent issue. Kids are being exposed to porn from younger and younger ages, which leads to serious issues later on in life including addiction, intimacy, and relationships. We cover how people can get stuck in a cycle of watching porn and how there are big consequences: damaged marriages and relationships and ruined sex lives. But there is hope! We share some ways to break the cycle and recover from dependency on porn and some steps to get help (not out of shame, but out of godly guilt). We also talk about how parents can address this issue with their kids and prevent potential serious issues with porn before they start. You can take steps to protect yourself and your family from porn by going to coveyes.com/ALLIE (free for 30 days).
#christianity #theology #apologetics
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Links:
Covenant Eyes: "Brain Chemicals and Porn: How Porn Affects Your Brain" www.covenantey...
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How Porn Changes the Brain, Kills Intimacy & Harms Society | Guest: Sam Black | Ep 740
Thank you for discussing this. As someone who was enslaved by this parasitic sin daily for 15 years my heart grieves for those dealing with this. I got married before I ever came to terms with my addiction to pornography and it about ripped apart my family at the seams. Thank the Lord God for his grace in my life. Pornography will draw you in by curiosity, keep you hooked with shame, take you further than you want to go and pull you back in with empty promises. If there is any industry that deserves the full weight and force of the law brought against it it is the adult entertainment industry. The fact that this is such a problem for so many people exhibits that this industry is satanic at its core. My heart is there for those being exploited in it, those addicted to it, and the marriages working through it but Gods wrath can’t fall fast enough on the industry as a whole when you have been forced from childhood to analyze the whole world through sexuality. It robbed me of a normal life. It still cuts me at heart to hear people speak of it as if it were trivial. This generation growing up now has been shaped by grotesque perverted sexuality and the fruit of that is yet to be seen. Prayers for mercy and grace in the years to come. Thank you all for bringing light to this.
I wish everyone could read this comment.
@@tliw2 I will unashamedly share my testimony with anyone that will hear it. The only way that the church grows is by confessing our sin and magnifying the grace and mercy of God. The nice church facade hasn’t served it well, I think it’s time for honesty about what brought us to Christ in the first place. Thank you for your comment!
I was exposed to pornography at a super young age and it left me jaded about monogamy and intimate relationships for a long time. Once I gave up the porn and healed from the early traumas in my child hood and early exposure to pornography I started living the life I was meant to live. Pornography is by far one of the most damaging things a young mind can consume.
as a woman nobody talks about how we can also deal with porn addiction. while i'm in a healthy marriage with a healthy sex life and can say no to myself now, i have watched it for years, and it definitely has left images implanted into my brain that will most likely never fully go away.
I am so glad you are talking about this! This truly is a much bigger problem than most are willing to admit/see. Honestly it's been an impression of mine for some time that it is the main contributing factor to why the church in America is so weak. Granted it's not only a men's issue, but they still largely dominate the consumer demographic, and the statistics of men viewing this stuff in the church is practically no different than the secular world. Men are called to be leaders, and yet the vast majority are compromised in this way. Pornography, truly, is emasculating.
I'm sorry, but I don't believe a majority of CHRISTIAN men (or women) are watching it.
@@Yesica1993 it may not be a majority, but there are a lot more than you think. They keep it hidden, and many pastors struggle. I think it is safe to say there is a very large minority of people in the church struggling with these issues
@@Yesica1993 Christians struggle with ongoing sin too, and pornography is one of them. Negligence like this is what makes it hard to fight head on.
It’s disheartening when you see a post on social media against porn. The comment section is filled with the mass majority of porn supporters. They laugh and ridicule those few who say it’s bad. We’re in the minority and it sucks. It’s hard to be labeled a prude and uptight weirdo for being against porn.
While I completely understand what you’re saying, you need to take a different mindset, I believe. Jesus says we are blessed when we are persecuted.
““Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”
Matthew 5:11-12 ESV
I saw typical liberal on Instagram
do this and all these weak men commented, basically saying they love and need porn. I was DISGUSTED and typical liberal DELETED the post! Pathetic!
@@scottgriffith22 that’s a very good perspective and one I often forget. Thank you for reminding me ❤️
@Carly - Yes, it is disheartening. We are now the "counter culture." I need to remind myself that those folks aren't our enemies. They're our mission field. I'm not "righteous," trying to correct the unrighteous. I'm more of a former beggar, trying to show other beggars where I found bread.🙂
True true and to add to the fact that modesty is really rare today. We see immodesty everywhere we look it seems.
This podcast should be translated in multiple languages. If there’s a way to do so I can translate this in Italian. I think it’s important to give a contribution to spread this precious message. Our kids are in a constant danger all around the world
It's funny that you're talking about this. I've been getting suggestions from youtube and it is slowly being entrenched in my country. People are making it look like it's not such a big deal. But I know better. I pray that when the callers come calling I will be strong enough to say no.
@11:13 Interesting - 4 things parents tend to think that it won’t affect my kids.
1. “My child is a good kid, they would never be interested”
2. “If my child did see it, they would just look away”
3. “The measures I have in place are probably good enough”
4. “Boys are the only ones that struggle, so don’t have to worry about girls”
I can’t watch things like this bc it can be very triggering for me but thank you for spreading the awareness of the harmful effects porn has on the mind, relationships and society! God bless 💗
If I may ask, why is it triggering to you?
Yea why?
I agree because I've been hurt by porn.
@@quincyhoward2222my dad used it as a grooming technique when I was a child 😕 plus I’m already convinced about the harmful effects of porn from my own experiences
@@ruzimabonieck6908 my dad used it as a grooming technique when I was a child 😕 plus I’m already convinced about the harmful effects of porn from my own experiences
Allie, you and your guest didn't mention one of the key strategies for overcoming any sin, including lust and pornography, and that is to 'reckon yourselves dead to sin and alive to God (Romans chapter 6. Also,Galatians tells us to crucify the flesh with its passions and desires. I have found this Biblical advice and command to be very helpful for me in overcoming any sin. Also, i live in New York City, and I think to myself, If walking down 42nd Street causes you to stumble, walk down 43rd Street instead.
This topic I totally agree with you on. Porn shouldn't even be allowed to be online in any aspect of our lives. It destroys people inside and out. Awful
"A safe place and a safe process". Amen! God bless you sir! I have been proclaiming how much the church is missing this. I've been going through a most difficult time the past couple years (unrelated to porn) but have had little adequate support from the church. It's sad that any hurts ate met with shame or glossing over without truly offering a safe place and a safe process
I can say I was one of the ones that started at a young age & watched it for years. I finally kicked the habit thanks to God. I truly believe he really helped me through all that.
A root sin here could be idolatry...looking to anything else to sooth you/escape to aside from God Himself.
The further I get from God, the better off I am.
Spot on!
@@glenncox9128 repent
@@DBlanco48 LOL! Not bloody likely! Just because I reject the lies of the liberals doesn’t mean I like the lies of the Christians.
There is an element of that. I was introduced to pornography at 11, and even though I always felt shame, it felt impossible to stop. It was God's grace and a lot of work to break the habits and triggers that had been formed when my mind was incredibly impressionable.
This is heartbreaking. We have got to instil what real connection is in our children by loving them in such a way that when someone isn’t loving towards them they instantly know.
I was never addicted to porn nor watched it. I was interested in thr topic as a christian and said I wanna be able to say why porn ia bad. So I read a book on how it effects thr brain and the symptoms people deal with. Its an addiction but even counseling and therapists fail to recognize that.
My ex-husband has a large collection of magazines and it was a huge problem in our marriage. As I listen to this, I wonder about support for the spouse of the porn addict--like AlAnon. My ex was in denial about his addiction, so we couldn't discuss it between ourselves or a therapist, because he insisted it wasn't a problem, and that I was the problem. (He convinced all the therapists we saw too, so I was always the one with homework) The elephant in the room made it difficult for me to enjoy sex, and I felt like a prostitute. The marriage deteriorated to death, and he decided he didn't want to live like that anymore. We have 2 beautiful daughters, and I worried about them finding his collections, and now I worry about their relationships. It would have been nice to have a support group for me, where I could have talked about this and gotten information, courage, strength and hope, like at AlAnon. I also want to say that "help" needs to be different than "Pastor's wife feels sorry for her and is taking her under her wing, come join our ladies' group" kind of thing. The person who wants to help needs to be ready for messiness and "dirt," and I'd much rather talk to someone who has experience with the issues, than some well-meaning innocent whose answer is akin to "Just say no."
I am so sorry 😢 This is precisely why I found a Christian counselor marriage therapist for my husband and I. Secular therapy is only helpful insofar as defining the terms of behaviorism and how they emerge in interactions and marital dynamics. It was important to me that I find a Christian who has this knowledge and will use them in BIBLICAL application. I am so sorry for your failed marriage. You don’t need me to tell you this, but you were never and are not the problem. Jezebel has her grotesque claws in the worldly society. For all intents and purposes, your husband was forcing you to have sex without your consent, within the marital bounds. Porn is emotional cheating that causes hyper sexuality in men, and you were at the receiving end of that. I know that divorce sucks, but he was the one who ended it, the moment he was caught and, rather than showing remorse or shame, he gaslit you, diminished you, invalidated you. That is on HIM. I hope you are healing and have found peace drawing nearer to God in the aftermath, and just know I will be praying for your two daughters and you.
@stephlikescats thank you. You are correct, and I appreciate your concern and prayers. When the Christian attorney he chose insisted we talk with a Christian counselor, he promised the attorney he would give it an honest try. But at our first appt, he announced he was done, probably because he knew he couldn't con her. Thank you for reminding me of those truths. I needed that.
There should be a kind of al anon for porn widows/widowers.
Thank you Allie and Sam for the discussion and resources. I had this discussion with a discipleship group recently and passed the link to the group as well!
Pornography is so destructive.
"Viewing pornagraphy is fulfilling a legitimate desire in an illegitimate way."
Nothing but TRUTH
Important statements. Porn is a trap. But psychology is not the answer .. wow. Not one word about the cross of Christ..the power of His Blood. The sanctifying work of the Holy Spirit. The power of the Gospel!!!
I respect my sister in the faith and her work in presenting many important subjects.. without the cross of Christ. His shed blood. The truth of the Gospel. Nothing can help someone.. let's be bold as the 1st century church and proclaim the Gospel. Only God has the power and ability to make you free indeed
True. True. True. But how does a Christian wife live honorably with a husband who says he's a Christian, but is not open to any discussion of the issue, so the blood and the Cross are off the table for him? Other than prayer, how do you propose to deal with it? It's not a subject that the elders can come and confront him on, without alot of relationship-building first. I was glad when my ex joined a men's group with an accountability partner, but the first time the subject came up in a meeting, he was out of there. If the addicted person is repentant, yes, the gospel and the Cross are the answer, but if not, they are stumbling blocks.
A most edifying discussion. So much we don't know. I was able to walk away from it after 25 years. While I know the war is not over, I don't find myself wanting to go back to UT either.
I know first hand what porn does. My husband was addicted to it for most of our marriage, and while I didn't know it, before our marriage also. The porn stopped, as far as I know, but along with it so did all of the intimacy and affection in my marriage. He has been unable to emotionally connect to me as his wife in the past five years. He says that he doesn't think that he ever loved me as the Bible says that a husband should "as Christ loves the Church". I don't even think that he is capable anymore of that kind of connection let alone the marriage act. I know that he has sexual dysfunction and can't complete the marriage act.
We have separated now, but I am still married to him because marriage is until death do us part. I will be married to him until one of us is carried out of the church in a pine box. So, I am sexually abstinent and will be so for the foreseeable future. I am fairly certain that my kids don't know about it because he never had magazines and we never let the kids on the computer unless they were directly supervised. I would often think that my husband had stopped doing it, but then would find dirty images downloaded on the computer all over again. He would often lie about it. The two times when I was exposed to porn before marriage, I was extremely disgusted by it and wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. I still don't want anything to do with it. My husband would wait until I was asleep before logging into those websites.
It sounds like your husband is in what's often called a "dry drunk." That's when an alcoholic gets sober, but isn't in any recovery program, so they still have lousy coping skills and "stinkin' thinkin." The brain is still addicted even tho the body abstains. No fun to live with, I'm sure.
Thanks for addressing this topic - I have had this struggle since 6 or 7
I really really appreciate this episode
Thank you for this!
Interesting how many women are quick to criticize porn but have nothing to say about all the erotic novels and romance films that women get them off. Remember 50 shades of grey sold more copies than the Bible the year it released.
50 shades is porn as well
@@jennifermcneece7531 I agree. But we see no moral outrage on that…
Yep!
@@Colin-cb8hv our pastor condemns it, and he does it from the pulpit. He doesnt let the women off.
In one of her pods Allie said she wanted to do an episode in the future covering the trashy romance novels women read. So I’m sure it’s coming. That’ll be a big episode when it does drop.
Sheila Wray Gregoire is an author you need to interview. She has a passion for writing about healthy Christian marriages and sex.
Self esteem? We don't need to work on our elf esteem. Maybe better language would be our self worth should be tied to Christ and that we are image bearers of God. Self esteem is the word psychology throws around.
Psychology is real. Your 'christ' is a crutch.
It's on Twitter too.
I was actually wondering if porn and sex addiction have a connection which has been proven true, but what about pedophilia has there been any studys since child trafficking is so prevalent in the world?
Keep in mind too that assuming porn addiction in cases where you don't have all the facts and knowledge can sometimes be just as destructive to relationships as actual porn addiction. It's easy to hear about the ubiquity of porn use, look at symptoms in people that get attributed to porn addiction, and then assume that porn addiction must be the cause of those symptoms. That isn't right either and can be incredibly destructive. Stick to what you know.
Regardless, there is no scenario where looking or using porn is ok and good. No scenario.
Is he talking about the secularly labelled thing called the hedonic treadmill?
I’d also point out that certain sins are more in relation to the culture than a lack of the Holy Spirit working in your life and moral/ethical strengths are a luxury for those with strong families and who were encouraged and helped to get married young. If your not married or in a relationship this is an inevitable sin. It’s best to be in a relationship. This is how God intended it. And it’s worse because what your saying is that not only do we know we’re living in sin but it’s also neurologically damaging and sounds like it had a snowball effect. It’s very disheartening for someone trying to get out. I don’t think there’s very many people that would say they would choose porn over someone they love and desire to be in a godly relationship with.
Not to get too personal, but I’ve tried this software before, and unless your a pastor of a church it just ends up getting weird for a lot of guys. There almost has to be a unanimous agreement amongst men for everyone to do it or none at all. For one guy to do it and not the other creates resentment, even if one dudes married and the other is not. Scriptures clear on confessing your sin to one another.
You can't get the covenant eyes or accountable2u apps on Android anymore.
Allie UA-cam is selling games with sexually suggestive figures with your UA-cam broadcast. Can you choose what they advertise on popups advertisement?
This man’s website comes up as unsafe when you visit it. Is there some way he can fix it?
We as a society is addicted to the tyranny of Sex, Beauty and romance
GOD GAVE a beautiful gift to mankind, within the context of Holy Matrimony.Jesus can set the captive ones free!! ♥︎JOHN 8:36♥︎Sex without love is bad for the SOUL.I went to an ironworker's shop once, in Brooklyn, and he was watching pornography at his work desk! I didn't hire the man.
The NFT sponsorship bums me out about as much as the porn plaguing our society.
Way too many ad reads
I wish I could afford covenant eyes I need help
Pray to God. He will provide a way for you if you pursue his righteousness. Also, its worth using a credit card for an issue such as this. IMO
When we are weak is when HE is strong. You know you need help, that is the greatest step! Praise God that you want it! God bless you as you find freedom from your struggle in Jesus.
Nicholas, call them. They can help. They were gracious in helping our family for a while when I had no way to pay for it.
ua-cam.com/video/0GgY5K1uxXU/v-deo.html
Please watch this. You can be free from this.
In my view, there is absolutely nothing wrong with grown adults watching pornography. One time, I went on a vacation by myself (without my husband) to visit my aunt. While I was there, my husband texted me and asked me to send him some nude selfies. I did that. The way that I see it, a wild bachelor using internet porn as lighter fluid while barbecuing alone is no different from my husband looking at naked pictures of me while I am in another state. In both cases, a man is admiring the beauty of a woman not in the room and in both cases, all involved parties are consenting adults.
You sending your husband pics of yourself is not porn 😂
@@marykatherinemorris5048 Just as there is nothing wrong with my husband seeing naked pictures of me, there is nothing wrong with watching pornography.
So let's ban gas stoves but not porn?!?!? 😫
So let’s not force kids to wait forever to get married. They should be getting married at 18. Marriage should be centered around God. You don’t need to wait forever. Otherwise it’s inevitable. It’s marriage or porn.
Serious conversation and sponsor after sponsor add 🙄
Didn't know her audience is mostly women. I thought UA-cam was mainly men and women just used other platforms. Huh
The chat is broken
Yeah TECH my chats are being erased as soon as I say something
@@oreally8605 mine as well
I will miss you
@@thetechboyorg TECH 😆 🤣 It could Be a technical issue. We'll try tomorrow. Nikki is getting through but we can't idk.
@@oreally8605 Yeah
40 min talk about porn addiction and NOT ONCE again NOT ONCE mentioned MASTURBATION as cause people seek porn. Strange and just not professional.
Porn addiction here, just like I’m addicted to eating, drinking, and breathing. Sex is biological..
But just like you can't live off junk food or you're going to have health problems. There are healthy constructs for sex.
And You're ignorant or deceptive if you use it and masturbate regularly don't worry over sometime you will notice how low energetic and mentally unstable you will become.
@@saltandlight316 The simple reality according to nature is to have as much sex as you can with as many people as you can.
The reality according to society is dependent upon whatever culture you follow.
God has absolutely nothing to do with it.
No you're not addicted to porn the same way you're "addicted" to eating, drinking and breathing. You will die if you stop doing any of the latter. You will never die or face ANY negative consequences from quitting porn. You won't even die if you stop having sex and the older you get, the less and less important sex will become to you. That's biological and if you starve something, it'll die. If you feed it, it will thrive.
@@ruzimabonieck6908 I’m sorry. I should have specified SEX addiction. Need it all the time. Need to impregnate as many women as Ghengis Khan to procreate my superior DNA. Sex is the meaning of life. Nothing else matters.
#banpornwebsites
it’s the only sin against ur own body