@@memcrew1 I would say it's usually not about the advice itself; the problem is they don't see you as worthy, in other words, they see themselves as superior to you and therefore they are not even listening to the advice. It might be that they don't see the advice as useful and the very fact that someone has a different way of doing things deeply irritates them... if you spot them making use of the advice and they don't acknowledge that you were right, perhaps not with direct words but at least with a change of attitude towards you, then the last thing you want to do is reward them with more useful advice... bare in mind, if you are in a position of power and they end up following your advice, it might well be that they just want to avoid troubles and they still consider you a fool. my approach is: avoid giving people advice unless they've shown you beforehand that they hold your advice in high steem... if it's someone you really care about, who has a history of disregarding your advice, simply insinuate that you've been in that scenario and you found a solution to the given problem but it should be them asking you questions - if it's actually a serious matter, then go ahead and tell them the story of how you fixed the issue, if it's a life or death scenario then use whatever method you wish but make them listen. I actually wrote this for myself, disregard it if you wish
I know, I relate to that. A note-book can be helpful, when you see the cover of it, holding the proof of your struggles, you know... - or a really good friend, if you have cultivated one - these will remind you, that you've fighted the negativity, you've solved the trouble, survived the pain, you did grow and matured, against all odds, and you've learned and opened up to trying new methods and paths, and assessed them, you've crawled in a ditch and you got up again, started anew, bruised but not extinguished, you have got up along with improved self-knowledge. It is very important to remember! It might give wisdom, but at least a sturdier self-confidence. Ask a friend to remind you!
Being insightful and being "in the moment" don't really go well together. That's why there is retrospect. Self control is however always good to have and commendable, since not everybody manages to always keep a cool head
I agree that retrospection is a huge factor in this. You're going to struggle massively to remember these things in the midst of emotional experiences at the beginning, but the more time you take to process through what happened, and how you wish you would have responded, the likelier it will be the next time that you will do better. That's where age does come into play. The wisest among us are those who have been practicing this for years.
@@ptyleranodon3081 Among the "pieces of wisdom" one picks up while aging, is "the last word is not yet said" - one can get back, or try to get back, and give oneself a chance to improve upon a situation when one has mulled over it. Most of us can't shoot snappy repartees from the hip, and they might nor be very truthful, either. One might even make peace with one's memory of the dead.
@@liviuursegr Very, very true, but you can practice these things before-hand to draw upon when times get challenging. Just like in the military ( I never served, unfortunately) you practice your skills (drill them) over and over and over and over again, until they become 2nd nature. That way, when you are under fire(under pressure) your mind & body simply reacts, instead of having to think about it.
"The cure for the pain, is in the pain" "These pains you feel are your messengers, listen to them" "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." - Rumi
It's a nice contrast of concepts, but it's not really true. One just learns the wisdom to stop exacerbating and prolonging suffering. If you're an experienced meditator and someone tortures and murders your dearest loved one in front of you, you may then sit peacefully and observe "My mind and body are feeling pain" but you will come out of meditation and still get hit by some waves of shock at the cruelty and loss - even if you are deeply accepting of *everything* being impermanent.
Suffering is self created. Contrast is contrast and need not be altered. It is impossible to be always “happy” on the level of mind, but perfectly possible to be always at peace in the deepest level of being, and even to feel joy while sadness is also present. When you realize suffering is always the result of resistance, you realize you always have the choice to release resistance, and so not suffer or create further suffering. This doesn’t mean ‘escaping pain’. It means accepting that a painful experience is what it is, which when done fully, transmutes it into something that is not really different, yet is vastly altered - it is the same thing yet lighter, infused with grace and ease. Here you can go fully into the feeling without identifying with it; you can honor it completely by not making it so serious or personal. Holding the acceptance and awareness of what is happening in your Now, alongside the broader awareness of soul that nothing is, has, or could ever go ‘wrong’; that there is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’, no problems, only ever what is. Relating to both the mortality of the form and the immortality of the essence at once; allowing sadness and joy to merge as one. This is the incredible power of consciousness!❤🕊️
@@zetristan4525 it doesn’t have to be True to be useful as an aspirational concept. Like a Platonic form, none of us can reach that true delineation between pain and suffering somehow giving us true control, but the spectrum exists.
There's a term from psychology that I just learned: DARVO Deny - any and all blame or culpability Attack - the person trying to bring the issue forward Reverse Victim and Offender - the victim in the situation is the one who's in the wrong, they actually victimized me! This is a fairly standard response that people use to make themselves feel better about their actions. It comes with heapings of gaslighting to make all this work. I'm really sorry about your divorce. While you'll find there are things you might have done better and you should learn from them, don't let her get away with making you feel that you are solely to blame. And if you yourself are trying to DARVO, take a step back and try to look at the situation objectively.
Went through mine in 2018, it’s life destroying but it will get better my man, I promise. Just keep pushing forward and you’ll create something worthy of your potential
@@InappropriateShortsHe's obviously busy doing other important videos. The person who donated that $10, isn't crying about getting an emoji...why are you crying? Check yourself, mate!
I'm an electrical engineer, and a fairly wise one. I didn't gain wisdom from doing everything right the first time, but by finding my mistakes in the lab, figuring out what's wrong, explaining why it went wrong and then coming up with solutions to fix it. I've been on several projects that were already boogered up, and again, I'm troubleshooting, solving problems and finding things that should have been done up front to avoid problems or at least to make it easier for people to test the design later. So it's not just experience of success or pain of failure, but the troubleshooting, analysis, problem solving and eventual notes to future self that build wisdom.
@@jim-se5xc In my experience, learning how to learn is roughly similar across any domain. Lessons on how to overcome challenges in one field are almost always applicable to another field, even if the exact solution is different.
As a Civil Engineer I relate to this and I can add that simply by changing your position from being an employee suffering from not having autonomy to being in upper management or creating a business for yourself is a factor that can accelerate your learning, insight and hopefully wisdom.
@@diaahassouna5865 i dont think it has much to do with being an employee and moving to upper management and accelerated learning and business management is about wisdom.
Yes, loved the video. The buddhists say life is pain. Pain is a teacher because it is saying in a very loud voice, "Something important is out of balance, PAY ATTENTION!"
Not once have I ever watched one of this man’s videos and did not get valuable information that changed me on some level. I can’t say that for any other content creator on any platform. Please watch every video of his you can. If you’re open to his message you will be better for it.
I feel the same way about pain and "negative" emotions. Sadness, anger, embarrassment, guilt, etc can hide some dark desires that can be scary to look at and introspect.
Oh yes. And this is why shadow works is so seriously needed. Just a shame it take both humility and courage to look at your shadow and for it to look back.
i cant tell you how much these videos you make have helped center me and brought a calming presence to my inner monologue that used to be just hateful of everyone and everything. thankyou with every ounce of my being.
Just went through a painful breakup on my end. And took these past few months to reflect and see everything I did wrong. Pain is definitely necessary to change.
Being wise oftentimes helps others more than it helps yourself. Its kind of ironic how through history some people had to suffer just for others to live hedonistically. The issue with wisdom is when it is granted to others but without the actual lesson itself. Most of us want to benefit from "knowing" without actually getting through the process of being "knowledgeable" And then there are always those who live much happier lives despite their lack of insight. Wisdom comes with a cost: being aware of the fact that you are never knowledgeable enough, and that we are always limited by our human condition. Its hard to cope with truths
"I walked a mile with Pleasure, She chattered all the way; But left me none the wiser For all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow, And ne'er a word said she; But, oh, the things I learned from her When sorrow walked with me."
I'm not terribly sure about some of his relationship advice (what he assumes about women), but I find a lot of what he has to share to be really, really, really valuable nonetheless. I've spent so much time consuming self help stuff the last 8 years it's almost embarrassing, but I honestly have never heard the value of pain being summarized this well....and believe me, I've really come across a lot. I really love that he included how to implement the wisdom. I feel like richness of this video is worth a 500 page book! I hope to revisit this video on a regular basis to really absorb its message.
"I wonder what the world would look like, if billions of people did not trust their own common sense." Spot on. Experience is the best teacher. Getting people to have experience is the difficult part. Great video.
You really went over board with this sing for your supper lecture Orion...i will continue to stick to purveyors of wisdom yours by centuries and still work for those who simply acknowledged their being or having been...great work however shining your clinical light on the nature of contemporary women...that enlightening preceded you as well.😊
As I always say, you learn nothing from victories. It is the defeat that makes you think forever about that moment. But when the chance comes, you will never miss again.
My sympathies for the trials and dragons you've faced. It's truly admirable how you've alchemized those raw experiences into gold and pearls. You embody the hero who not only conquers challenges but generously shares the treasures gained with the community - encouraging others to recognize the transformative power within their own struggles. Heartfelt respect and gratitude.
Yes…thank you so much for this post. Wisdom, the process of accumulating wisdom has been a gift for me. Even initially it has felt like a curse, I am so grateful for all the colors of pain I have experienced in my life. It has all garner humility, discernment, empathy (for self and others), and grace. It also has made me cognizant of the truth that some people aren’t able to see nor work with their pain…for whatever reason. I’m just grateful that in this life, no matter how uncomfortable, I was always willing. It has made all the difference.
I pay attention to the lessons I've learned but still regularly use anesthesia. I have several chronic physical pain and a pretty rough mental health diagnosis. I don't even remember what life was like without being in constant anguish. I can't even feel the love of the only person on earth who loves me unconditionally, my 5 year old son. The pain makes it very hard to have a relationship with anyone, including myself. Which makes it impossible to trust anyone, so I struggle to make the right decisions for myself because I never know what is best for my life. Some of us are doomed to suffer, and even George Carlin understood that death is the only thing that can bring us peace and freedom. If I'm lucky, I've got till I'm 65 before I use the Smith & Wesson retirement plan.
As someone who had a painful experience a few weeks ago, as my girlfriend left me, I completely agree with you. Suddenly all those philosophical texts like stoicism that I've read for the last two years and also your videos (especially on inter-gender dynamics) make a lot more sense now. Pain is the best teacher. As long as you allow it and experience this "emotional gym" like you also said before. No more numbing anymore. No pain relief needed. I grow stronger every day.
I agree completely with everything you've said in this video! I am now 67 years old and I always say that wisdom is the product of experience plus reflection - not too different at all from your version, "pain plus insight". I like to tell my young acquaintances that if a person has exactly the same beliefs and opinions at 60 as they had at 20, then that person has basically wasted their life. Excellent video as always! Thanks!
Thank you for this important enhancement to Dr. Taraban´s thesis: "experience plus reflection" puts it even better than "pain plus insight" in my opinion, because not only pain can grow wisdom when reflected and analyzed, but also an experience of success - maybe even more so! The question "just why did i succeed" is just as important as the question "just why did i fail". A fool will answer the first question with "because i´m the greatest, WHOOOHOOOO!" and the second question with "because the world is evil and everybody hates me, BOOOHOOOO!"
Kudos for addressing this very important topic! Well delivered message! This is a true psychological hack: try to handle pain with learning as a goal. As a reality-check. An other way of expressing this is - every pain has a message. If your company of people are trying to silent you when you are stuggling with the meaning of your pain - there *are* good books, they can teach, but you need to learn yourself. Shake me to the core did Viktor Frankl: Man's Search for Meaning. One such book makes 10 superficial friends redundant. If you are in deep pain, you don't need it downplayed - do take it seriously, and avoid those who don't. There is a lot of pain in the USA now. A tragic aspect of a lot of people suffering simultaneously is that there are few people who could help each individual through the hard times - all are overwhelmed, overburdened, on their way to be burned-out. Scared, hurting, and not helpful. It is good that we have help on-line. There could be groups of friends who watch information together, or read together, and talk about, open up about, and discuss issues that really matter.
@@joesielskisr4911 I've been thinking about that, too. Especially of first responders and those who lost family-members. But also of people who lost faith in safety and security... What tragedies were you thinking of? Your own perhaps?
Thank you for your insight and experience. Today is the hardest day of the year. 9/11 First Responder. BUT thru years of pain and with a TON of recovery, I'm living an amazing life and no matter what the obstacle, I will be better tomorrow, next month and next year. Thank you! Mahalo!!
Most people aren’t willing to do the hard work of self reflection & ownership. It’s much easier to play the victim or keep your head buried in the sand. Not this girl. I want to be authentically me.
Knowing more leads to you realising just how little you know about this world and just our nature as a whole. I envy those who manage to get away with being imature or less knowledgeable and have a happier life than me. Knowing the solution to some problems but lacking the audience to support you is definitely the biggest letdown.
I admire how cavalier you are, but it's unlikely a woman has the self-awareness and self-control to gather wisdom. Buddha himself said enlightenment isn't possible for you.
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.” -George Bernard Shaw
I don't think so. To connect with others we need to be humble and love them. Sure, they might not understand your pain, but it's by focusing outwardly and forgetting ourselves that we learn from pain and connect to others.
Wisdom is insight from pain, pain is an indicator that our version or view of reality is flawed, skewed, that something in our lives needs fixing and pain is inevitable, we all trudge through it and because everyone on earth leads a life not so different from one another, we are mostly made of shared experiences, and there are quite few truly original experiences, and so reflection leads to insight that can be reverse engineered to general truths that apply to all of us in a way that resonates and feels so profoundly true because it also scratches the itch of empathy and needing to be understood within. General truths from without, made malleable to conform to a personal situation that is within, translates to perceived wisdom but to do that necessitates living a life worth living, a life of stories and experience.
I’ve always believed that that it’s easier to fix yourself than to ask someone else to. Introspection is key, and a strong desire to get to the “why” of human behavior and circumstances that surround me.
Babies do know why they cry. They cry when hungry/thirsty, in discomfort or feeling abandoned or unloved. They cry hoping the adult in the room will meet their most basic human needs.
@@DuncanL7979 well their human instincts and feelings inform them what's happening. Instinct to physically survive kick in before reason or language. You're just splitting hairs.
That suffering is the source of all wisdom was one of the biggest takeaways I received during my recent adventure with ayahuasca. Thank you for this reminder, and thank you for all the other good work you do too!
When the emotional weather is bad, I remind myself not to trust myself. Like the weather, it’s back and forth. If it’s a bad storm, I focus on the basics, rest and get through the day. I’ll process when the hurricane passes.
pain is life's feedback loop. substances that suppress pain, makes a break in the feedback loop and prevents learning, the accumulation of both knowledge and wisdom.
When I tripped really hard in my 20s, I had a vision that I died and went to hell in hell there were tons of well- meaning people that continually shouted f*** pain with the chanting being led by the devil. As soon as I heard this I prayed to God to let me out of there and pray to him to help me grow from my pain. My prayers were answered, and I was lifted into a sea of bliss during the trip. So thank you for this video. The idea of pain being a necessary evil for growth is something that I strongly believe so this really resonated with me.
While it does suck, pain has taught me many tremendous lessons. Lost my best friend in a bad incident while not being able to help him much or retain a lot of memory from that incident (coma or memory loss I guess). It was painful but it built me as a person: became really aware of myself and the surrounding, discipline and hard working, emotionally understanding, focusing on career and being good with what I do (medical field), fitness and health, etc. While it was painful, I’m grateful for what it has turned me into, a competent and ambitious person. Great teaching!
"The seed of wisdom is curiosity about your pain and it's cultuvated through the increasingly masterful application of insight" Marvelous video. Thank you!
In my family pain was expected to be endured without complaint. Never were lessons to be learned. In college I worked with a broken knee that I never had treated until years later when the cartilage was damaged In my current profession as a health care professional I went to work with bilateral inguinal hernias. After the third day of my superior telling me I looked really pale I confessed my pain. I was sent immediately to the surgery department & underwent an operation 4 days later. Northern European ancestors, Vikings, Slavs, & Celts, were my forebears & the culture of enduring pain still carries on. Your insight is so transformative.
This video reminds me of a beautiful quote I've heard recently. "The opposite of suffering is not happiness. It is clarity". Thank you Orion for this amazing video.
Wise is made throughout: 1. Experience which is why it is more associated with age 2. The ability to accept their mistakes which is why it is associated with intelligence 3. The ability to make others feel better which is why it is associated with goodness
Yes I feel that is why I am called wise by many people Despoten beeing only 31 years old. It takes a lot of self reflection which I always was good at but also listening to other people and their pain. The thing is I still feel more happy and content than people who have, more money, a good relationship and other things. I have many good friends and I never had a problem making them or sorting out people quickly that are not good for me. I am even at a point where I still feel a little sad about the latest rejection but because I could totally see where she was coming from and thought about myself a few years prior I gladly accepted it and let her go. She might come back in the future I feel. As the reason for the rejection was because of herself and not me. I still need to improve my life to a point where she wouldn't think that she drags me down with her baggage but I know I am on a good path. Pain is very crucial to wisdom.
I'm in a stage where I try my best to stay away from consuming too much social media. I want to quit entirely.. So far I was scared of boredom so I couldn't quit social media. But the "suffering" is worth it, even if it takes me 2 weeks or more to break the addiction. My goal is to make my 20s the best years of my life. Years filled with grinding for a healthy lifestyle and changing bad personality traits. Years filled with the goal of feeling young, free, wild and active and becoming beautiful from the outside looks and from within. And social media is always the boulder that blocks the pathway into a better life. The problem that wouldn't go away unless I climb over it.
You have a wealth of wisdom. Your channel has been a huge blessing to me personally. This video topic really opened my inner mind and let me see pain with a new set of lenses. I used to think pain was bad - to be avoided. Now I know that pain is a trigger God has equipped us with as a navigation to guide us in order to live a life of bliss. Never will I dread pain again or try to avoid it. I will never again complain about pain, but welcome it and move myself into action. Thank goodness for the roadmap to wellness - for my pain.
Any thought you think that brings up painful emotion - any thought that hurts - is demonstrating that this very thought is false. It is pointing to the skewed nature of the perspective which generated this thought. Painful feeling is always pointing you to good feeling, by showing you that the current perspective you have aligned consciousness with is NOT in fact the true one, not a clear or accurate view of reality. You hurt because you have diverged your energy from itself, ‘separated’ from yourself. (You can’t actually leave yourself, but the way a skewed perspective gets you crossways with your own stream of energy/consciousness is experienced as discomfort) This is so helpful because it gives you the data you need to reorient with the truth! It also helps you realize you have complete power over your own experience - not what happens, but how you perceive what happens. All suffering is self created. Suffering indicates a warped and false perspective; shift that perspective, and you release suffering from your experience, without a single condition needing to change. Before you point out the speck in your brother’s eye, remove the beam from your own. Realize that your perception of ‘speck’ - of a flaw - in another is actually the result of an ego driven, limited, and skewed perspective. By realizing this your ‘vision’ clears and you realize there is no flaw - no speck to remove - for All Is as All should Be. It does take tremendous suffering to push us to this point of finally realizing that suffering is pointless, self created, and ultimately an illusion. It is entirely a choice and we have chosen to suffer due to conditioning and unconsciousness. But consciousness IS evolving, and with this evolution the necessity for this entire process is altering; the intensity of suffering is becoming more acute, leading to a shorter duration. Now instead of tolerating it over lifetimes, gradually building up to the ‘breaking/tipping’ point that leads to spiritual evolution, the pressure is turned up so high that in a single lifetime we may suffer enough to reach this precipice. The more of us that reach the place where we can tolerate no further suffering, and so make the choice to stop participating in it (resolving karma, aka imbalanced energy, which dissolves past pain by transmuting it into consciousness) the more clear and accessible the path to peace becomes for all. We are building a New Earth, by our new, altered perception of reality - as friendly instead of hostile, connected instead of separate, loving and safe instead of angry and dangerous. By our open reception of what is, of the Universe and the flow of all, we are openly received by it. By our recognition that there are no problems, only situations - our awareness that all contrast provides clarity - that pain points always to pleasure - that suffering can in fact be entirely released - we are making it so in the physical realm, which can only ever reflect what we perceive. What is resisted always persists. By releasing resistance to pain, we release pain. Embrace all that Is, as it Is, and you will Know absolute liberation, infinite peace, and joy that has no opposite. Love to you, Orion ❤🙏🕊️
As the aghori Vimalananda put it (through Dr. Robert Svoboda): It is always good to live with reality, because if you don't, you can be sure that reality will come and live with you. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us! You are offering a beautiful service to humanity!
Your teachings line up with the Buddha’s and you say it really well for modern people. Insight meditation is key. Understanding karma, cause and effect, is absolutely necessary.
I think the formula for wisdom goes beyond pain and insight. It involves the way in which we choose to understand the reason behind the pain and successes of life. It is the origin of the insight. It seems to me that some people are opinion-based thinkers, whose choices are driven by their preferences. Other people are principle-based thinkers, whose decisions are based on principles that are known to yield a certain result more often than not. Doc here is clearly a principle based thinker, and his lessons are all about explaining the principles that inform his methods. The main difference between principles and opinions is that principles are generally supported by statistical data while opinions are more about what we prefer. Once you learn to override what you prefer in order to ride on the momentum of an established principle, you start getting more predictable results. Also the great muddy mysteries of the universe start to become clear and understandable.
Being wise is applying knowledge to our lives and being willing to listen to, accept and apply knowledge that doesn't immediately benefit us now but greatly benefits us later.
Which leads to the conclusion that ultimate insight (as in paying attention) trough a meditative state leads to the end of suffering. Because you drop all concepts in favor of a truth that cannot be put into words, but can still be used as a basis for true wisdom in all areas of life. Great video, keep it up!
9:53 Exactly. You’re speaking my language here. When I was a kid I prayed for wisdom and understanding every single day. Just a few years ago I cried realizing that my Prayers were actually answered. I just didn’t know what it was going to take to earn it.
Don't be jealous of someone who's advice you find useful. It often means they have been in darker places than you.
This is too profound
Added to my quotes.
The darkness of a place is inversely proportional to the profundity of its insight.😬🤙
Why would anyone have jealousy for someone who gives useful advice? 😂
@@memcrew1 I would say it's usually not about the advice itself; the problem is they don't see you as worthy, in other words, they see themselves as superior to you and therefore they are not even listening to the advice. It might be that they don't see the advice as useful and the very fact that someone has a different way of doing things deeply irritates them... if you spot them making use of the advice and they don't acknowledge that you were right, perhaps not with direct words but at least with a change of attitude towards you, then the last thing you want to do is reward them with more useful advice... bare in mind, if you are in a position of power and they end up following your advice, it might well be that they just want to avoid troubles and they still consider you a fool.
my approach is: avoid giving people advice unless they've shown you beforehand that they hold your advice in high steem... if it's someone you really care about, who has a history of disregarding your advice, simply insinuate that you've been in that scenario and you found a solution to the given problem but it should be them asking you questions - if it's actually a serious matter, then go ahead and tell them the story of how you fixed the issue, if it's a life or death scenario then use whatever method you wish but make them listen.
I actually wrote this for myself, disregard it if you wish
Top 3 things men love to hear:
3. "I love you"
2. "You will get a pay raise"
1. "Hi, I'm doctor Orion Taraban, and this is psychacks"
That number 1 option now has a pavalov effect on me 🐶 .
😂🙌🏽
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂
Absolutely
The key is to remember this message when you're in the midst of experiencing intense emotional pain.
I know, I relate to that. A note-book can be helpful, when you see the cover of it, holding the proof of your struggles, you know... - or a really good friend, if you have cultivated one - these will remind you, that you've fighted the negativity, you've solved the trouble, survived the pain, you did grow and matured, against all odds, and you've learned and opened up to trying new methods and paths, and assessed them, you've crawled in a ditch and you got up again, started anew, bruised but not extinguished, you have got up along with improved self-knowledge. It is very important to remember! It might give wisdom, but at least a sturdier self-confidence. Ask a friend to remind you!
Being insightful and being "in the moment" don't really go well together. That's why there is retrospect. Self control is however always good to have and commendable, since not everybody manages to always keep a cool head
I agree that retrospection is a huge factor in this. You're going to struggle massively to remember these things in the midst of emotional experiences at the beginning, but the more time you take to process through what happened, and how you wish you would have responded, the likelier it will be the next time that you will do better. That's where age does come into play. The wisest among us are those who have been practicing this for years.
@@ptyleranodon3081 Among the "pieces of wisdom" one picks up while aging, is "the last word is not yet said" - one can get back, or try to get back, and give oneself a chance to improve upon a situation when one has mulled over it. Most of us can't shoot snappy repartees from the hip, and they might nor be very truthful, either. One might even make peace with one's memory of the dead.
@@liviuursegr Very, very true, but you can practice these things before-hand to draw upon when times get challenging. Just like in the military ( I never served, unfortunately) you practice your skills (drill them) over and over and over and over again, until they become 2nd nature. That way, when you are under fire(under pressure) your mind & body simply reacts, instead of having to think about it.
"The cure for the pain, is in the pain"
"These pains you feel are your messengers, listen to them"
"The wound is the place where the Light enters you."
- Rumi
Really appreciate your insights. I once heard this saying "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."
It's a nice contrast of concepts, but it's not really true. One just learns the wisdom to stop exacerbating and prolonging suffering. If you're an experienced meditator and someone tortures and murders your dearest loved one in front of you, you may then sit peacefully and observe "My mind and body are feeling pain" but you will come out of meditation and still get hit by some waves of shock at the cruelty and loss - even if you are deeply accepting of *everything* being impermanent.
Sounds good on paper.
Suffering is self created. Contrast is contrast and need not be altered. It is impossible to be always “happy” on the level of mind, but perfectly possible to be always at peace in the deepest level of being, and even to feel joy while sadness is also present. When you realize suffering is always the result of resistance, you realize you always have the choice to release resistance, and so not suffer or create further suffering. This doesn’t mean ‘escaping pain’. It means accepting that a painful experience is what it is, which when done fully, transmutes it into something that is not really different, yet is vastly altered - it is the same thing yet lighter, infused with grace and ease. Here you can go fully into the feeling without identifying with it; you can honor it completely by not making it so serious or personal. Holding the acceptance and awareness of what is happening in your Now, alongside the broader awareness of soul that nothing is, has, or could ever go ‘wrong’; that there is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’, no problems, only ever what is. Relating to both the mortality of the form and the immortality of the essence at once; allowing sadness and joy to merge as one. This is the incredible power of consciousness!❤🕊️
@@zetristan4525 it doesn’t have to be True to be useful as an aspirational concept. Like a Platonic form, none of us can reach that true delineation between pain and suffering somehow giving us true control, but the spectrum exists.
The paradox is that if you look into nature, animals are doing their utmost to avoid pain, we on the other hand?
Going through a divorce and this video put everything my ex-wife did into perspective. Thank you for this clarity.
There's a term from psychology that I just learned: DARVO
Deny - any and all blame or culpability
Attack - the person trying to bring the issue forward
Reverse Victim and Offender - the victim in the situation is the one who's in the wrong, they actually victimized me!
This is a fairly standard response that people use to make themselves feel better about their actions. It comes with heapings of gaslighting to make all this work.
I'm really sorry about your divorce. While you'll find there are things you might have done better and you should learn from them, don't let her get away with making you feel that you are solely to blame. And if you yourself are trying to DARVO, take a step back and try to look at the situation objectively.
Went through mine in 2018, it’s life destroying but it will get better my man, I promise.
Just keep pushing forward and you’ll create something worthy of your potential
Going through a divorce as well. It’s soul crushing, but I know I don’t carry all the blame. I hope to turn my immense pain into something positive.
$10 and not even a ❤ from him 😢
@@InappropriateShortsHe's obviously busy doing other important videos. The person who donated that $10, isn't crying about getting an emoji...why are you crying? Check yourself, mate!
“Pain is an opportunity to cultivate wisdom.” Thank you Dr Taraban
I'm an electrical engineer, and a fairly wise one. I didn't gain wisdom from doing everything right the first time, but by finding my mistakes in the lab, figuring out what's wrong, explaining why it went wrong and then coming up with solutions to fix it. I've been on several projects that were already boogered up, and again, I'm troubleshooting, solving problems and finding things that should have been done up front to avoid problems or at least to make it easier for people to test the design later. So it's not just experience of success or pain of failure, but the troubleshooting, analysis, problem solving and eventual notes to future self that build wisdom.
I dont think he means wisdom as in fixing electrical problems around the house. I could be wrong.
@@jim-se5xc In my experience, learning how to learn is roughly similar across any domain. Lessons on how to overcome challenges in one field are almost always applicable to another field, even if the exact solution is different.
As a Civil Engineer I relate to this and I can add that simply by changing your position from being an employee suffering from not having autonomy to being in upper management or creating a business for yourself is a factor that can accelerate your learning, insight and hopefully wisdom.
@@jim-se5xcit’s transferable information don’t take everything so literally
@@diaahassouna5865 i dont think it has much to do with being an employee and moving to upper management and accelerated learning and business management is about wisdom.
Yes, loved the video. The buddhists say life is pain. Pain is a teacher because it is saying in a very loud voice, "Something important is out of balance, PAY ATTENTION!"
God tier explanation. Thank you kindly, my friend.
Not once have I ever watched one of this man’s videos and did not get valuable information that changed me on some level. I can’t say that for any other content creator on any platform. Please watch every video of his you can. If you’re open to his message you will be better for it.
Dr. Taraban deserves to win the You Tube Hall of Fame designation, if they had one for the most valuable broadcasts.
I feel the same way about pain and "negative" emotions. Sadness, anger, embarrassment, guilt, etc can hide some dark desires that can be scary to look at and introspect.
Introspection is the key to wisdom i beleive
Oh yes. And this is why shadow works is so seriously needed.
Just a shame it take both humility and courage to look at your shadow and for it to look back.
i cant tell you how much these videos you make have helped center me and brought a calming presence to my inner monologue that used to be just hateful of everyone and everything. thankyou with every ounce of my being.
Yes Pain is the greates teacher .it will open many doors some not so advisable to walk trought and some that will show you how to transcend.
Just went through a painful breakup on my end. And took these past few months to reflect and see everything I did wrong. Pain is definitely necessary to change.
Lol.
I tried to avoid pain...all I did was delay the pain a few years. Lesson learned.
Being wise oftentimes helps others more than it helps yourself.
Its kind of ironic how through history some people had to suffer just for others to live hedonistically. The issue with wisdom is when it is granted to others but without the actual lesson itself. Most of us want to benefit from "knowing" without actually getting through the process of being "knowledgeable"
And then there are always those who live much happier lives despite their lack of insight.
Wisdom comes with a cost: being aware of the fact that you are never knowledgeable enough, and that we are always limited by our human condition. Its hard to cope with truths
"I am wise through pain and insight." Precisely!
"I walked a mile with Pleasure,
She chattered all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne'er a word said she;
But, oh, the things I learned from her When sorrow walked with me."
Scripture says it is better to attend a funeral than a party.
@@Susan-fg3nvtell me more about
Jesus was a man of sorrows
(Isaiah 53:3).
I GREATLY appreciate the way you break concepts down. Your “model vs reality” analogy…chef’s kiss!
I'm not terribly sure about some of his relationship advice (what he assumes about women), but I find a lot of what he has to share to be really, really, really valuable nonetheless. I've spent so much time consuming self help stuff the last 8 years it's almost embarrassing, but I honestly have never heard the value of pain being summarized this well....and believe me, I've really come across a lot. I really love that he included how to implement the wisdom. I feel like richness of this video is worth a 500 page book!
I hope to revisit this video on a regular basis to really absorb its message.
I've watched the full series by John Vervaecke on cultivating wisdom, but this has to best summary of its core teaching in my humble opinion.
"I wonder what the world would look like, if billions of people did not trust their own common sense." Spot on. Experience is the best teacher. Getting people to have experience is the difficult part. Great video.
Lol 🙂. I think we are supposed to read between the lines with this comment.
@@gsftom 2020-21
Wonderful insights. If pain does not cause change, then it is a wasted opportunity. Suffering (Pain's partner) will surely follow.
Huge respect to this man for just saying as it is in a manner which is thought provoking.
You really went over board with this sing for your supper lecture Orion...i will continue to stick to purveyors of wisdom yours by centuries and still work for those who simply acknowledged their being or having been...great work however shining your clinical light on the nature of contemporary women...that enlightening preceded you as well.😊
As I always say, you learn nothing from victories. It is the defeat that makes you think forever about that moment. But when the chance comes, you will never miss again.
Pain and suffering is the greatest Teacher.
I think OT is an artist... of psychology. The medium- life itself. A lot of these videos I like looking at a new painting😊
Probably one of the most profound videos I have ever watched, unbelievable
My sympathies for the trials and dragons you've faced. It's truly admirable how you've alchemized those raw experiences into gold and pearls. You embody the hero who not only conquers challenges but generously shares the treasures gained with the community - encouraging others to recognize the transformative power within their own struggles.
Heartfelt respect and gratitude.
Yes…thank you so much for this post. Wisdom, the process of accumulating wisdom has been a gift for me. Even initially it has felt like a curse, I am so grateful for all the colors of pain I have experienced in my life. It has all garner humility, discernment, empathy (for self and others), and grace. It also has made me cognizant of the truth that some people aren’t able to see nor work with their pain…for whatever reason. I’m just grateful that in this life, no matter how uncomfortable, I was always willing. It has made all the difference.
Thank you for creating this content, for the world to see.
Just…Thank You 🙏
The insights my dad should've taught me but he didn't, thank you Orion.
I pay attention to the lessons I've learned but still regularly use anesthesia. I have several chronic physical pain and a pretty rough mental health diagnosis. I don't even remember what life was like without being in constant anguish. I can't even feel the love of the only person on earth who loves me unconditionally, my 5 year old son. The pain makes it very hard to have a relationship with anyone, including myself. Which makes it impossible to trust anyone, so I struggle to make the right decisions for myself because I never know what is best for my life. Some of us are doomed to suffer, and even George Carlin understood that death is the only thing that can bring us peace and freedom. If I'm lucky, I've got till I'm 65 before I use the Smith & Wesson retirement plan.
As someone who had a painful experience a few weeks ago, as my girlfriend left me, I completely agree with you. Suddenly all those philosophical texts like stoicism that I've read for the last two years and also your videos (especially on inter-gender dynamics) make a lot more sense now. Pain is the best teacher. As long as you allow it and experience this "emotional gym" like you also said before. No more numbing anymore. No pain relief needed. I grow stronger every day.
bro is cooked, good luck moving forward
THANK YOU FOR USING "Models"! I've been trying to spread this frame for years. It works with everything we know about consciousness.
"Pain is reality chiding you from having a deviant model" 2:36 So well-said.
I am Glad that it is not just Ayn Rand and Objectiviism who have figured out the link between Pain, if your in line with reality and wisdom.
I agree completely with everything you've said in this video! I am now 67 years old and I always say that wisdom is the product of experience plus reflection - not too different at all from your version, "pain plus insight". I like to tell my young acquaintances that if a person has exactly the same beliefs and opinions at 60 as they had at 20, then that person has basically wasted their life. Excellent video as always! Thanks!
Thank you for this important enhancement to Dr. Taraban´s thesis: "experience plus reflection" puts it even better than "pain plus insight" in my opinion, because not only pain can grow wisdom when reflected and analyzed, but also an experience of success - maybe even more so! The question "just why did i succeed" is just as important as the question "just why did i fail". A fool will answer the first question with "because i´m the greatest, WHOOOHOOOO!" and the second question with "because the world is evil and everybody hates me, BOOOHOOOO!"
Yes yes, reflection, to attain wisdom experience is not enough, the desire for wisdom and the effort, reflection, are also needed.
Outstanding doc as usual.
Great video! "The wind and waves always go in favor of those who know how to sail.” Self-knowledge is key
Kudos for addressing this very important topic! Well delivered message! This is a true psychological hack: try to handle pain with learning as a goal. As a reality-check. An other way of expressing this is - every pain has a message. If your company of people are trying to silent you when you are stuggling with the meaning of your pain - there *are* good books, they can teach, but you need to learn yourself. Shake me to the core did Viktor Frankl: Man's Search for Meaning. One such book makes 10 superficial friends redundant. If you are in deep pain, you don't need it downplayed - do take it seriously, and avoid those who don't. There is a lot of pain in the USA now. A tragic aspect of a lot of people suffering simultaneously is that there are few people who could help each individual through the hard times - all are overwhelmed, overburdened, on their way to be burned-out. Scared, hurting, and not helpful. It is good that we have help on-line. There could be groups of friends who watch information together, or read together, and talk about, open up about, and discuss issues that really matter.
Today is 9-11 I bet a lot of people are still suffering from 22 years ago
@@joesielskisr4911 I've been thinking about that, too. Especially of first responders and those who lost family-members. But also of people who lost faith in safety and security...
What tragedies were you thinking of? Your own perhaps?
Thank you for your insight and experience. Today is the hardest day of the year. 9/11 First Responder. BUT thru years of pain and with a TON of recovery, I'm living an amazing life and no matter what the obstacle, I will be better tomorrow, next month and next year. Thank you! Mahalo!!
that was incredibly profound and a gem of enlightenment
Most people aren’t willing to do the hard work of self reflection & ownership. It’s much easier to play the victim or keep your head buried in the sand. Not this girl. I want to be authentically me.
Knowing more leads to you realising just how little you know about this world and just our nature as a whole.
I envy those who manage to get away with being imature or less knowledgeable and have a happier life than me.
Knowing the solution to some problems but lacking the audience to support you is definitely the biggest letdown.
Go for it! The world needs the real YOU. ⭐️. You have a role to play!
I admire how cavalier you are, but it's unlikely a woman has the self-awareness and self-control to gather wisdom.
Buddha himself said enlightenment isn't possible for you.
“authentically me” 😂
Nice approach
“The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable man persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore all progress depends on the unreasonable man.”
-George Bernard Shaw
Yes! I am in pain after my last breakup and I wouldn't change a thing. I have learned so much
"If you can't trust your own experience, what can you trust ?"
So... SPOT ON !
WOW!! I’ve never felt so understood and yet alone all at once.
This makes connecting with anyone who doesn’t have this awareness non existent.
I don't think so. To connect with others we need to be humble and love them. Sure, they might not understand your pain, but it's by focusing outwardly and forgetting ourselves that we learn from pain and connect to others.
Wisdom is insight from pain, pain is an indicator that our version or view of reality is flawed, skewed, that something in our lives needs fixing and pain is inevitable, we all trudge through it and because everyone on earth leads a life not so different from one another, we are mostly made of shared experiences, and there are quite few truly original experiences, and so reflection leads to insight that can be reverse engineered to general truths that apply to all of us in a way that resonates and feels so profoundly true because it also scratches the itch of empathy and needing to be understood within. General truths from without, made malleable to conform to a personal situation that is within, translates to perceived wisdom but to do that necessitates living a life worth living, a life of stories and experience.
I’ve always believed that that it’s easier to fix yourself than to ask someone else to. Introspection is key, and a strong desire to get to the “why” of human behavior and circumstances that surround me.
Absolutely enlightening. Pain and insight.
Babies do know why they cry. They cry when hungry/thirsty, in discomfort or feeling abandoned or unloved. They cry hoping the adult in the room will meet their most basic human needs.
No they don't, not until 18 months old.
@@DuncanL7979 well their human instincts and feelings inform them what's happening. Instinct to physically survive kick in before reason or language. You're just splitting hairs.
@@marianhunt8899And so are you:-)
That suffering is the source of all wisdom was one of the biggest takeaways I received during my recent adventure with ayahuasca. Thank you for this reminder, and thank you for all the other good work you do too!
"Beware of unearned wisdom."
~C. Jung
"Beware of unearned wisdom."
~C. Jung
When the emotional weather is bad, I remind myself not to trust myself. Like the weather, it’s back and forth. If it’s a bad storm, I focus on the basics, rest and get through the day. I’ll process when the hurricane passes.
Excellent Sir..
There's also Wisdom in the Sacred Writtings..that are obviously annals of historical pain, suffering & experience.. 🙏🙏
pain is life's feedback loop. substances that suppress pain, makes a break in the feedback loop and prevents learning, the accumulation of both knowledge and wisdom.
00:36 "Pain plus insight." Preach.
You know it's going to be a great morning when PsycHacks uploads a new video right before your commute to work 💛
Luky for you but in my country its supper time
I had a suspicion about this but im really glad you explained it clearly
Your deepest and most important video thus far imo. Bravo. Very important message. Thank you.
Such a great message Dealing with someone with so much pride has been a very difficult task
The only thing I know is that you are on the right path when you can admit that you've been wrong. Sticking to the right path, that's the hard part
Spot on about pain and insight. The greatest gift of pain is introspection, which leads to insights and wisdom..
When I tripped really hard in my 20s, I had a vision that I died and went to hell in hell there were tons of well- meaning people that continually shouted f*** pain with the chanting being led by the devil. As soon as I heard this I prayed to God to let me out of there and pray to him to help me grow from my pain. My prayers were answered, and I was lifted into a sea of bliss during the trip. So thank you for this video. The idea of pain being a necessary evil for growth is something that I strongly believe so this really resonated with me.
While it does suck, pain has taught me many tremendous lessons. Lost my best friend in a bad incident while not being able to help him much or retain a lot of memory from that incident (coma or memory loss I guess). It was painful but it built me as a person: became really aware of myself and the surrounding, discipline and hard working, emotionally understanding, focusing on career and being good with what I do (medical field), fitness and health, etc. While it was painful, I’m grateful for what it has turned me into, a competent and ambitious person. Great teaching!
The universe is perfect.
Stay humble and curious.
"The seed of wisdom is curiosity about your pain and it's cultuvated through the increasingly masterful application of insight"
Marvelous video. Thank you!
In my family pain was expected to be endured without complaint. Never were lessons to be learned. In college I worked with a broken knee that I never had treated until years later when the cartilage was damaged In my current profession as a health care professional I went to work with bilateral inguinal hernias. After the third day of my superior telling me I looked really pale I confessed my pain. I was sent immediately to the surgery department & underwent an operation 4 days later. Northern European ancestors, Vikings, Slavs, & Celts, were my forebears & the culture of enduring pain still carries on. Your insight is so transformative.
...cartilage was damaged. In my current...
(I lost a period.)
You've changed my life. Seriously. Thankyou. Keep doing what your doing.
This video reminds me of a beautiful quote I've heard recently. "The opposite of suffering is not happiness. It is clarity". Thank you Orion for this amazing video.
" You can deny reality, but you cannot deny the consequences from denying reality" -- Ayn Rand
I love this quote for years and it´s absolutely spot on.
I totally agree 🙌🏼 thanks for the reminder.
Thank you!
Wise is made throughout:
1. Experience which is why it is more associated with age
2. The ability to accept their mistakes which is why it is associated with intelligence
3. The ability to make others feel better which is why it is associated with goodness
You are amazing . Listening to you only has done a good thing to my mindset. Thanks ☺
Yes I feel that is why I am called wise by many people Despoten beeing only 31 years old.
It takes a lot of self reflection which I always was good at but also listening to other people and their pain.
The thing is I still feel more happy and content than people who have, more money, a good relationship and other things. I have many good friends and I never had a problem making them or sorting out people quickly that are not good for me.
I am even at a point where I still feel a little sad about the latest rejection but because I could totally see where she was coming from and thought about myself a few years prior I gladly accepted it and let her go. She might come back in the future I feel. As the reason for the rejection was because of herself and not me.
I still need to improve my life to a point where she wouldn't think that she drags me down with her baggage but I know I am on a good path.
Pain is very crucial to wisdom.
I'm in a stage where I try my best to stay away from consuming too much social media. I want to quit entirely..
So far I was scared of boredom so I couldn't quit social media. But the "suffering" is worth it, even if it takes me 2 weeks or more to break the addiction.
My goal is to make my 20s the best years of my life. Years filled with grinding for a healthy lifestyle and changing bad personality traits. Years filled with the goal of feeling young, free, wild and active and becoming beautiful from the outside looks and from within. And social media is always the boulder that blocks the pathway into a better life. The problem that wouldn't go away unless I climb over it.
Pain is a great friend, and a wonderful teacher if you let it be. Such an overlook invaluable blessing.
You have a wealth of wisdom. Your channel has been a huge blessing to me personally. This video topic really opened my inner mind and let me see pain with a new set of lenses. I used to think pain was bad - to be avoided. Now I know that pain is a trigger God has equipped us with as a navigation to guide us in order to live a life of bliss. Never will I dread pain again or try to avoid it. I will never again complain about pain, but welcome it and move myself into action. Thank goodness for the roadmap to wellness - for my pain.
7:45 Orion just said that Naruto is the antagonist cause Pain did nothing wrong. 🤣 'Through shared pain, we can understand each other'. 😂
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
💗💗💗 Thank U!!! for sharing some Wisedom!! 👍
I think you're correct. Great insight and video.
Brilliant content sir. World is great because of people like you.
Any thought you think that brings up painful emotion - any thought that hurts - is demonstrating that this very thought is false. It is pointing to the skewed nature of the perspective which generated this thought. Painful feeling is always pointing you to good feeling, by showing you that the current perspective you have aligned consciousness with is NOT in fact the true one, not a clear or accurate view of reality. You hurt because you have diverged your energy from itself, ‘separated’ from yourself. (You can’t actually leave yourself, but the way a skewed perspective gets you crossways with your own stream of energy/consciousness is experienced as discomfort)
This is so helpful because it gives you the data you need to reorient with the truth! It also helps you realize you have complete power over your own experience - not what happens, but how you perceive what happens. All suffering is self created. Suffering indicates a warped and false perspective; shift that perspective, and you release suffering from your experience, without a single condition needing to change.
Before you point out the speck in your brother’s eye, remove the beam from your own. Realize that your perception of ‘speck’ - of a flaw - in another is actually the result of an ego driven, limited, and skewed perspective. By realizing this your ‘vision’ clears and you realize there is no flaw - no speck to remove - for All Is as All should Be.
It does take tremendous suffering to push us to this point of finally realizing that suffering is pointless, self created, and ultimately an illusion. It is entirely a choice and we have chosen to suffer due to conditioning and unconsciousness. But consciousness IS evolving, and with this evolution the necessity for this entire process is altering; the intensity of suffering is becoming more acute, leading to a shorter duration. Now instead of tolerating it over lifetimes, gradually building up to the ‘breaking/tipping’ point that leads to spiritual evolution, the pressure is turned up so high that in a single lifetime we may suffer enough to reach this precipice. The more of us that reach the place where we can tolerate no further suffering, and so make the choice to stop participating in it (resolving karma, aka imbalanced energy, which dissolves past pain by transmuting it into consciousness) the more clear and accessible the path to peace becomes for all.
We are building a New Earth, by our new, altered perception of reality - as friendly instead of hostile, connected instead of separate, loving and safe instead of angry and dangerous. By our open reception of what is, of the Universe and the flow of all, we are openly received by it. By our recognition that there are no problems, only situations - our awareness that all contrast provides clarity - that pain points always to pleasure - that suffering can in fact be entirely released - we are making it so in the physical realm, which can only ever reflect what we perceive. What is resisted always persists. By releasing resistance to pain, we release pain.
Embrace all that Is, as it Is, and you will Know absolute liberation, infinite peace, and joy that has no opposite.
Love to you, Orion ❤🙏🕊️
As the aghori Vimalananda put it (through Dr. Robert Svoboda):
It is always good to live with reality, because if you don't, you can be sure that reality will come and live with you.
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with us! You are offering a beautiful service to humanity!
Your teachings line up with the Buddha’s and you say it really well for modern people. Insight meditation is key. Understanding karma, cause and effect, is absolutely necessary.
Your insight is a gift 🎁
I think the formula for wisdom goes beyond pain and insight. It involves the way in which we choose to understand the reason behind the pain and successes of life. It is the origin of the insight.
It seems to me that some people are opinion-based thinkers, whose choices are driven by their preferences. Other people are principle-based thinkers, whose decisions are based on principles that are known to yield a certain result more often than not. Doc here is clearly a principle based thinker, and his lessons are all about explaining the principles that inform his methods.
The main difference between principles and opinions is that principles are generally supported by statistical data while opinions are more about what we prefer. Once you learn to override what you prefer in order to ride on the momentum of an established principle, you start getting more predictable results. Also the great muddy mysteries of the universe start to become clear and understandable.
It's all about being able to catch the message that pain delivers and use it appropriately. Dr Orion is correct.
Thanks!
Being wise is applying knowledge to our lives and being willing to listen to, accept and apply knowledge that doesn't immediately benefit us now but greatly benefits us later.
Which leads to the conclusion that ultimate insight (as in paying attention) trough a meditative state leads to the end of suffering. Because you drop all concepts in favor of a truth that cannot be put into words, but can still be used as a basis for true wisdom in all areas of life.
Great video, keep it up!
You’re explanations and insights are great. You’ve gained a subscriber!
Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you want.
Pain is the greatest teacher.
His house is so clean, and his massage is so clear, Love this channel 😀🙂
I appreciate this breakdown. Well done
9:53 Exactly. You’re speaking my language here. When I was a kid I prayed for wisdom and understanding every single day. Just a few years ago I cried realizing that my Prayers were actually answered. I just didn’t know what it was going to take to earn it.