@@GodsChildBriikr. Like the thing is they're draining THEMSELVES too. But also sometimes they know. And also they help you too. Like they're so complicated and i don't want that complication lol.
I love how some feminine energy teachers teach that a boundary is an internal thing, not something you beg other people to follow. That’s another way to avoid the tactics of manipulators.
Yeah I stayed in a super toxic abusive relationship for two years on and off because I kept trying to get her to acknowledge my points, only to realize one day that it’s something I have to enforce for myself, left her, I’ve never seen or spoken to her again. Not sure it’s feminine or masculine thing I think it’s just common sense that if someone breaks agreements and hurts you, it’s our responsibility to enforce that boundary. As my mom use to say, “you end up with what you are willing to tolerate!”
way not to be manipulative yourself is to be 100% honest and truth for manipulation is based on lies. Being honest to yourself and to others takes courage because many people are afraid to do so
Yes and in situations where others are brought into an interpersonal drama, you will stand out as the honest one being truthful when you also admit to your part to play or potential wrong behaviour and the other party is just playing victim and not owning their part to play
Being 100% honest is not the same as not being manipulative. Sorry to say it, but the simple act of telling the truth does not absolve you of engaging in manipulation. You can say true things that you believe and say them in a certain way in a certain time without even intending to have any specific effect, and this can be manipulation. Manipulation does not have to be intentional. It doesn't need to be a lie. It doesn't have anything to do with courage or fear. Manipulation is the act of stripping someone of choice, and this can be accomplished even when attending to your sincere, plainly spoken experience. It is also about extracting something from someone. Given that this can be a sincere desire, and even a mundane one at that (e.g., "Want to get a cup of coffee sometime?"), it is incredibly difficult to avoid manipulation outright as we engage in it near constantly and in ways that we don't even realize. All of this considered together, what we're really concerned with isn't manipulation, per se, but rather malignant and harmful manipulation. A therapist consciously manipulates their patient into living with more productive and adaptive schemas. A potential romantic partner sincerely tries to appeal to you to attract a reciprocated interest. None of this is particularly harmful or concerning. What strikes us as being repugnant in manipulation is when someone objectifies another person and uses them as a means for their own ends, irrespective of the person as an end in themself. In essence, manipulation is not necessarily malignant, nor does it have anything to do with truthfulness or the sincere emotions of the manipulator since both true and false statements can have a manipulative effect. What we discover as harmful in manipulation is the intention towards others and their ideals as being irrelevant and beyond consideration. It is when we deprive someone of their personhood and ability to choose, and likewise, when we divorce ourselves from our empathy towards this person. As a final note, I should state that most people are confused about empathy. Many feel bad when other people feel bad, and this is normal, but this is not the act of mature empathy. Empathy is not about your personal feeling. The act of empathizing, in a mature way that is, is not to feel the emotion of the other and attempt to pacify this feeling within yourself by saying how sorry you are that they're going through something and how bad you feel that something bad has happened to them. This common action takes the focus off of the other person and places it squarely on the self. Instead of "this is terrible," you get something like "I feel bad about this for you," and this is not empathy. This is a difficult specification to understand, and I have not explained it particularly well, but it boils down to where the focus of feeling is: the self, or the other. Many people, and I mean many, think they are a font of empathy when, in reality, they are self-obsessed, and I think we are all guilty of this to some degree. In everything, I wish to say that all of what I have written is a matter of degrees rather than absolutes. We all fall into these things sometimes, and this is acceptable as far as it is reasonable to give people realistic standards. There is a point, however, where people go too far, and this is, I would argue, what people are actually talking about when speaking of manipulation and the like.
@@ym2931 not all manipulation is based on lies. You can also manipulate people using the truth, in numerous ways. Being honest IS a great way to halt most unintentional manipulation tho. When using the truth, it's much more difficult to remain unaware of what you're doing.
6:51 LITERALLYYYYYYYYYYYYY WITH THE COMPLIMENTS, the men who’ve manipulated me in the past always used phrases like “I can’t imagine my life without you” then will switch it up 360 and make you the villain
Yep! Another one is "no one understands me like you do" aka "i know you will put up with endless amounts of my bs and abuse and manipulation and that is why I love you"
My friend is a manipulator (narcisssistic) I was with her for more than 7 years. She literally admitted into being a narcissistic and she was proud of it. I was kinda tired when i was around her because she literallly took all my energy away for the entire day and Ithought it was just my probvlem and i literally talked w her about my insecurity of not being social enough even though im actually pretty social. Now, I know the tactics that she used on me and im so much happier with my other friends. Because, she is just a souless monster.
The exact same thing is happening to me, except she’s been my friend for 6months now and we hang out everyday but no matter how I express my feelings towards something, she acts as though she empathizes however she does/says nothing.
I will be 49 this month. You are truly helping me. At the core, it's not about the age, it's about the milage. Thank you for allowing me to tag along with you in your journey!
I'm old enough to not be your parent, but your grandparent! I'm in a tough spot right now, with people manipulating me from at least two sides, not realizing how bad it was in either case. Thank you. You are WAY wise beyond your years. Wish I had been anywhere near this aware in my early 20s.
I really needed this video. I’m in a relationship with a manipulator and have only just realized that nothing will change. Her emotional outbursts, blaming me for my reaction to her behavior… god what is with these people? Tomorrow I’m breaking up with her so I can finally be free
Love this! So inspiring! My mind’s been consumed by the thought of him. It’s been 6months he left and the pain of loosing him feels like physical ache. The laughter the memories,and adventure sadly it’s all gone .i’ve tried to get my mind off him and it seems like the more I try, the more I keep thinking of him. How do people let go and move on ? Cause It’s been months and memories of my man are still fresh. I miss him so much.
Sweetheart, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My heart breaks for you and I can imagine the pain and longing you must be feeling.last year, my fiancé ended our 3yrs relationship for reasons best known to him. I would cry all night because I couldn’t imagine life without him. I want you to know that you’re not alone and I’m here for u always. I reached out to a spiritual counselor for some guidance and it really worked for me My fiancé and I are back together.
For only being 20 years old, you are already so observant and knowledgeable about this stuff! I also respect that you are making videos in spite of how daunting that must make it feel
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. - 1 Timothy 4:12
I have been in the human behavior modification field for 23 yrs. My ex-wife was probably one of the best behavior specialists in the country. She was a gorgeous woman and 9 yrs older than me. We got together when I was 23 and she was 32. I was in that relationship for almost 20 yrs. I eventually had to leave for exactly what you are explaining. She was incredible at gaslighting. I compare her to a Picasso or Rembrandt of gaslighting and manipulation. Even when I absolutely knew what she was doing it still would catch me off guard staring to believe that I did something she actually did. It was crazy. This lady had a Masters degree in Applied Behavioral Analysis and PhD courses in hypnotherapy. I caught her cheating on me and got a video of her on a date with a guy, in the beach. She had this guy wrapped around her finger and in her voice she was doing some stuff with her voice. He would say something, she would reinforce the behavior and then pair that reinforcer with a voice tone change. She was creating a conditioned reinforcer with the freaking tone and pitch of her voice. That’s some manipulation. There are people out there with these skills. She was also recently diagnosed, by the county with Borderline Personality Disorder.
A psychologist manipulating people like that and being diagnosed herself... So fucking contradictory and ironic. That's why psychology is a hard and tough job to master, because you gotta keep yourself sane as well and that's the most important part. I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm glad you left her and are probably doing better now, at least than her.
My girl, 57 yrs young here - and you are onto it! ‘Put yourself as an authority in your own life, first and foremost’ Whew - yes!!! I started a bit younger than you and spent my spare time studying world religions just asking and praying for wisdom - it is the one thing, yes ONE thing that is across all of them said to be available to those who just ask for it. Seems you’ve been seeking 😊
i'm 66 dear- you are so very right on- good that you are sharing this- i grew up thinking/believing/being manipulated i was the problem LISTEN TO THE LADY EVERYONE!
Me and my friend know a guy who’s a textbook manipulator, we both caught his vibes and now we are kinda playing with him cause he’s not aware we know each other so we wanna see how far in his bs he can get Btw loved the end of the video, you’re so level headed and self-aware
fallacy 6: with the friends situation. my best friend and i have been friends for 8 years. it has lasted this long because we allow each other to have other friends, even if we don't like their other friend. we just keep it real, if they start talking about me she will drop them as a friend and i will do the same for her. but we allow each other to go out with different people all the time. back during our school days we were always hanging out but the older we got the more we wanted to be around other people as well. this is how we set healthy boundaries and allow each other our own space.
Love how you're breaking down these manipulation tactics! It's so important to recognize how easily we can fall for these tricks without realizing it. The way you explain logical fallacies and biases makes it super relatable and easy to understand. Thanks for looking out for us, bestie! 🙌💡
So this is what having an emotionally intelligent bestfriend feels like 🥺 thank you so muchhhh. I have a very short attention span, but I found myself watching your videos from start till the end and I’m learning a lot!
The fourht fallacy and the dead grandma thing is halirious tho. "WHY DID YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH MY SISTER?!" "My father was killed by leprechauns in England-"
Not all love bombing is intentional. If I blindly follow my heart, I will love bomb my crushes. After the honeymoon period of the first six months or so I will return to my normal self. There wasn't always a name for that, and the label helped me understand my own tendencies. New relationships are exciting and it's very easy to get rose colored glasses and forget in the moment that you need to introduce them to how you are when you aren't around someone who fascinates you because eventually they will be normal and I will return to my normal state that they never got to see because of my excitement. It's not always evil, it is often short sighted.
True, but extra love and attention isn't necessarily lovbombing. People with insecure attachments tend to do it on a much smaller level (especially ppl with bpd). While I understand we should be aware of our actions and how we come off to people, if your not lovebombing to gain anything, I wouldn't call it lovebombing. Moreso just a sign that a person is insecure or latching onto the next new thing (which tbh is totally normal in my eyes to some exent Edit: This isn't me trying to discredit what your saying at all, I'm just trying to explain that it's ok to give yourself grace. Ik when I was in a bad state I assumed I was a toxic monster and used terms like that to tear myself down. So this might be a major projection lol. Anyways, self awareness is good, but try not to be too harsh on yourself
Excitement is normal and fine b/c much of this is showing interest - esp if you're an extrovert. But if you do it in a very over-the-top way that is too aggressive, it's showing emotional instability. There's a reason it's called love-bombing - this is an oxymoron b/c if you love someone you shouldn't be bombing them! That sounds violent b/c it's the unstable and unpredictable thing it defines. It's dangerous to be there b/c this is where there is a fine line b/w love & hate...which will usu. tend to burn out before it takes off. That blurry line is super toxic. Maybe the better wording for what you're describing is love flooding b/c you're love-drowning as you're swimming & bathing in the luxurious feelings of love and showering your partner w/ all that emotion is what falling in love is. Water also symbolizes emotion which includes cleansing, sex, and birth and represents life. Bombing represents death! Bombing is what it sounds like - too hot, explosive, erratic and destructive. I want to ''drown in the sea of love" like Stevie Nicks sings about in the song 'Sarah', not be burned by some flame-thrower whose love will just as easily hate me, destroy or kill me. That is not (healthy) love actually - that is just lust and selfish lust at that. Lust takes b/c it's emotional immaturity; love gives b/c it's emotional maturity. I get your point, but when your brain chemistry settles down some, you do reconnect to your normal state as you said but it's just more balanced - or should aim to be: navigating crazy life w/ calm & peaceful love is healthy vs doing crazy life w/ crazy love which equals insanity or high school love. We all should run far from that!
@@elinope4745 - Although certain language is slang-ish and not really thought out well to be considered an 'official' kind of word or phrase, that doesn't mean we shouldn't objectively look at it beyond the opinion/ subjective view by using some common sense and applying some logic from deeper thinking. It's pretty simple when you think about it - bombing someone w/ love is an oxymoron. It contradicts what love is and is supposed to be in a healthy relationship. If we just toss words around randomly and let everyone have an opinion only w/out any baseline for facts, we are in real trouble. Some words can be creatively edited to fit our own lives so if you don't care for the emotional description of water (which is how emotions are symbolized as a universal knowledge), then fine to use your own creative replacement for 'bomb' but if you're having a hard time drawing the line as you say, b/w one concept to the other, that tends to denote a more serious issue. Some ppl struggle w/ mental illness - esp cluster B disorders who are the ones the term 'love bombing' was created for. Some thoughtful research will help clarify this if you didn't know. It's not really a subjective matter as there are psychology-related scientific facts and relevant language that defines it better than older terms we grow tired of. Language in some instances may be fluid, but their meanings are NOT fluid. This becomes a matter of semantics if it's only a debate about wording b/c we can be saying the same thing but just saying it differently. But - this is not the same thing as using a word that is NOT at all saying the same thing. Nuance in meaning matters and is what is used to build the bigger picture w/ the facts too - not just our biases. If it's about your behavior, it sounds like it could be a mental illness of some kind or something at least unhealthy if not a mental disorder. We can have diseased thoughts w/out having a diseased mind but that is up for a DR to decide and also, the open mind of the one who's confused about the issue which needs to be clarified and not so ambiguous. Love is a big deal - not like the emotionally detached/ fleeting fun that rich spoiled types have when buying & then selling a stunning mansion or a sexy car. This easy disposability factor is not making a firm commitment.
Sorry for any mistakes english isn't my first language I have an extreme kind of manipulator as a house mate. He got me kicked from my home by talking bad about me and straight up lying and framing things in a bad way. Somehow he seems to get away with screwing people over all the time. He literally gave an unconscious person a brandy and explained it as "a sign of brotherhood". We had a party in our house and he brought a friend with him. It started pretty well. We had fun together until later at the party when his friend got tired and ready for bed. The housemate in question asked me to pursue him to drink more, to wich I said no. Since that didn't worked out he got some speed (a stimulant) on his finger and sticked it into the mouth of his friend. That poor guy puked his heart and soul out. He really wanted to clean up after himself but wasn't in the mental state to do so anymore. I gave him new socks and he tried to clean his puke with it..I ended up cleaning it up since I'm desensitized working with children anyways. When I questioned my roommate about why the hell he did that he just said "because I know how much he can take". I still see that friend around every now and then and I just ask myself why. Sometimes he steals stuff from us too. I used to have a very pretty skirt which I lend to another person. Somehow my housemate got his hands on it and asked me wether it's okay if he wears it without his 🩲. I said "nein" as clear as this word could be said and he still did it. Later on he... committed reproductive actions with his girlfriend in it - in front of me-. When he was asked wether he replaced that skirt he went on yelling at me for about an hour. When I talked about it with another housemate she told me that I deserved it because apparently I started the conversation during the party (I didn't). I started to avoid him since that was the only thing in my budget. Moving away used to be out of question because I couldn't afford it. I was pushed to talk with him by two of our housemates. Those two were basically his flying monkeys during the talk. They talked down everything I said while protecting his fragile ego when I tried to make clear that he has to change his behavior towards people. He responded with having "lost all respect towards me" and that I have to "earn it with time". The conversation was over with that. I was supposed to pretend like everything was okay again and even tried my best to adjust to that for some reason. Nothing has really changed from his side, tho. He was asked to keep an eye on our cat and agreed to do that. He didn't tho and the cat ran away. I tried to find them in the neighborhood alone at first. He wouldn't even care to go around the block to look for them, even though technically he had some responsibility in that situation. I asked him wether he even feels a bit of guilt and he said "no". He let someone else argue for him while staring at me. (The cat is safe and sound now. Two of us put some flyers around the City which helped us finding them again). On top of that he stole something gifted to me from a friend with the expectation of it being okay because "it was just lying around". Again I confronted him about it and he threatened me to bully me like he bullied the last person who was kicked out because of him. Not really knowing what to do I tried to give him no reason to do so by not getting into too much contact with him. He started to ignore me, giving me the silent treatment with which I was really okay with since I wasn't interested in talking to him anyways. He said that he wants to move away with his girlfriend but apparently that was just a manipulation tactic adressed to our landlord who would rather have one person (me) moving out instead of two. He is very disrespectful towards boundaries and has no regards for anyones safety and yet everyone seems to be okay with that. He can avoid any kind of consequences somehow. One of his best friends told him that the way he behaves isn't okay and that the only reason he is friends with him is codependency and he sees that as a compliment and proof for their friendship. I really liked the city.. And the cat bonded with me quite a bit (in fact they are taking a nap on me as I write). I will miss both very much but at least I've got a lot of life experience from my time here...
Better to leave and have barely any money than stick with such treatment. I left a place where i had two room mates who bullied me, without having enough money to get a home. I just asked around who could take me in, until i get a home. It was my situationship guy, who took me in and i got a home soon after. Those girls even tried to frame money out of me, but i got some help and eventually it was clear that they were just trying to use my naivety to get money. Who knows what kind of stuff they could have pulled at me, had i stayed there any longer. At least that was my experience, but not every situation is the same.
hahaha “i love you baby, i love you” classic 😂, I’m 62 and still don’t have the skills…I’m still learning. That’s exactly what they say. Don’t ever underestimate your worth or ability. Keep up the great work ❤
The timing couldn’t be better…. My dad had a nasty conversation with my sister and when I went to confront him, instead of talking about the actual conversation, he spent 2 hours telling me how I have failed him too and that he was actually the victim in the situation and that I knew nothing. I was like yeah….no that’s okay. When your argument is on topics from 10+ years ago when I was a literal CHILD, I don’t think we have anything credible here to fall on. 😅 After the conversation I felt absolutely awful, like I was the one that was wrong and apologized, but the further away I am from the conversation, the more I see how far from the truth that was.
@@StephieGsrEvolution setting boundaries, especially with my family is difficult for me. Are there some examples that you may have that I could start to implement that might help me in this situation?
Hey- I'm one of the older people you were talking about. I admit I need to learn these things even though I'm in my 40s. I grew up heavily manipulated in a narcissistic family and I need to learn as much as I can since I was raised by wolves.
you literally remind me of myself and i think thats why ive found your channel so inspiring. Keep doing what you're doing Queen! Your authentic self is glowing!!!
Someone had a go at me in a group chat recently. They seemed to be implying that I was weirdly fixated on only replying to them. They ticked off quite a few on this list. Others treat her like some sort of Queen Bee but I see who she is. She got angry when I stayed calm and civil whilst also clarifying my position (without over explaining). I didn't play their game and I was proud of how I handled it. I used to think if someone was upset with me I must have done something wrong without realising or there's been a misunderstanding but now I realise some people are narcissistic and like playing head games with others.
I’m 30 learning from you video! I have shut out a few family members bc they emotional exhaust me! I’m a mom now I just wanna set a good example for my children!!
I struggle with making boundaries but that is something I will need to start doing. Its good for the mental health and you have explained why my mental health was low in the video... LOL. These are the problems with having so many ways to avoid accountability, that person has to apologize and change for the better.
im 42. im "more credible" in some cases because i have more experience but that experience is limited in many aspects. thats why i always listen to perspectives of all age groups and learn a lot from you too.
Interesting! What you pointed out are definetely true in many cases. I think the problem with manipulation is even more complicated and we might have already been manipulated multiple times today already. Manipulation could just be trying to turn a conversation in favor of of our belief system. Educating someone or taking a stance could already be at the origin of a form of manipulation. The accumulation of small details like that could have a huge impact on our belief system in the long term. -Manipulation could also be a problem concerning our past that have influenced our belief system today. In our chilhood and teenage years, the neuroplasticity is stronger so we tend to build a strong foundation of our personality during that period. People surrounding us until the present highly shape our belief system. If we meet people with different stance, we will likely feel manipulated by those new ideas but if we are not flexible to understand and question someone else position is probably because we have already been maniupulated during our past. If people learn to hate a politican and do everything in the extreme opposite sense, it will make them go to an extreme. - What I could observe is that 90% of the population could not maintain objectivity in so many situations. It will lead to connect false ideas to our belief system and everything will trigger negativity. Is it due to manipulation? Certainly. Infleunces are not necessarly bad if people do that because they feel it is good for us. (There are a lot of people abusing of others though) - As far as what we believe, our emotions write the narrative of our thought and our expectation is influencing the way we react. We could program everything and anticipate how we will react to uncertainty and new ideas conflicting with the old ones. - On the other side, if we are scared to be manipulated then we will be closed minded and reject flexibility. As a result, the fear of manipulation will lead to the inability to change, knowing that everybody have been manipulated so many times in the past. Difficult topic but I will advise to focus on our personal story and reflect. Try to build a thinking system that could make you dependant and generate your own thought based on your experience. - Try to hang out with different style of people, or trying to travel abroad to get new perspective in life. In fact, bring diversity of tought into your life so you can learn more about yourself. Your surroundings and people from your town are just 1% of the world and you will be surprised how people arround the world view things differently.
You are very wise! I deeply believe that deception is such a vital thing to understand, especially nowadays with AI. By the time you’re my age (41) you’re gonna be beyond deception-proof!! I have learned from you 🌸
Taking your mistakes running with them to use as leverage to prevent you from making boundaries. It is important to know if the person is trying to change or is just trying to put you back in the loop again. Regardless usually this situation that person is not trying to find a solution....🙄
Seriously, when that person doesn't like the the boundarie that was set they will often use tactics like the way you speak at your lowest; taking whatever you say and turning it to something completely different, but mostly as a way to project onto you, making you feel like you did something wrong. However, I'm quite the opposite because I have a problem with doing alot of self reflecting 😂 but yeah projection is definitely the flash bangs you got to be aware of and to not let that confuse you.
You are young but your right about the fact that you have to let go this people. I personnaly tried to help my cousin for 10 years now, i was thinking that he had a bad behavior/philosophie/psychological state. And i want childrens, so i was thinking that a i must be able to help people just in case my childrens would be like this. At the end i lost my time, it didn't work to good for him, but it made me grew a better person on any points. Helping people is the key for yourself but we have to not focus to much on one person. At the end we need something else.
Post no contact and I realized how abusive and manipulative I am. A lot of this stuff I’ve done and can completely understand. I’m trying to change my ways and not hurt anyone I care about anymore
I’ve been having this epiphany again and again. Having been someone who’s expressed emotional distress to someone and not being heard cuz it seems people are hyper on guard against emotional manipulation -and I’m not discrediting your claims against it-, we tend to set unrealistic expectations on people don’t we? We really need to take a step back and analyze why we have these unrealistic expectations cuz there must be a good outlet for these desires. I’m saying it’s not people.
Fun fact: even seemingly good people can manipulate you subconsciously. So the next time you feal like someone is manipulating you, but you're like ,,no they wouldn't, they're to nice and cool" bcs they actually might.
I am on the spectrum and sometimes I am just too honest as a result, people think I am manipulating them, Often, I feel people think I am using my autism as an excuse for my behavior and when I try to explain that this is just how my brain works they don't believe me,
th best way to avoid to get manipulated is by self respect and boundries and staying true to yourself aswell + everything you said .... right ? is what i said a manipulation tactic
About the Harvard/Elder argument, I think it is safe to assume those groups as a whole have greater wisdom. Of course, you should treat every individual with the skepticism due to everyone else. However, you should not be surprised if individuals from those groups are more wise than their counterparts.
sometimes they dont have actual charisma they just got close to you enough and its hard to distinguish you are manipulated - just saying so youll still be aware.
guys,I recommend mark Manson's book "the subtle art of not giving a f*ck",it gives a more deeper outlook on life and like..some manipulation tactics people use,and how they think. Probably my favorite book.
17:20 I was breaking up with my boyfriend and he went "I would love to know what your therapist said to you because she brainwashed you" Im sorry what??? 18:00 he also spent a whole week making passive aggressive comments about how I wad going to cheat because i was going to a haunted house with my sister and her girlfriends. Since I was wearing a long dress (i was dressing up as a Witch) he'd make comments about how easy it would be to just pull up my dress for others 🤢
Was gonna say something mildly misogynistic like "a woman who looks like you should be the one doing the manipulation, not getting manipulated" and was immediately ashamed. I don't approve of or encourage manipulation tactics, and am kinda disappointed that I'm capable of diminishing either the goodness or vulnerability of another person.
Had a buddy who used to compliment bomb and I would give him the cold shoulder 'til he dropped it. My ego needs no shine, certainly not from someone whose beggar status was clear from the get.
My coworker is a narcissist and I feel like he’s tried to manipulate and confuse me quite a few times plus he always tries to downplay everything I say and do and acts like I’m stupid. I can’t stand him he makes me so uncomfortable I’ve been trying to just ignore him unless I have to talk to him bc of work but other than that I just let him talk to himself but he keeeps trying to talk to me and won’t leave me alone and I’ve noticed he only does it to me. He’s kinda giving me obsessive vibes bc I’ve made it known I don’t wanna be his friend but he keeps trying and forcing himself on to me pretty much.
I actually remember ethos part being exactly about framing ones actions, like I did this, this and that and therefore I am right/moral person. The authority or legitimacy is just a byproduct. I like linking pathos with love bombing, and I would add up the "I'm sorry you feel that way." kind of apology that is actually not an apology. I also agree that confirmation bias is not a joke. Also, I would beg to differ about the unconscious manipulator-I guess you mistake it for an unconscious bully, like when you tear someone's self esteem down without even realizing you are jealous. This, however, is not manipulation, the latter is intentional, people who manipulate know exactly what they're doing and what for, this is unrelated to shadow self, as this is entirely in ego (conscience)-it looks after your actual needs, reconciling your id (subconscious) with your moral values, this was never the work of id itself.
"Their goal is to emotionally exhaust you into acceptance"
- THE WAY MY JAW DROPPED AT THIS!!!
Yep they tried and almost fainted when it failed spectacularly
Jesus is Lord
I have literally experienced this and then they told *ME* that *THEY* were drained. Smdh.
@@GodsChildBriikr. Like the thing is they're draining THEMSELVES too. But also sometimes they know. And also they help you too. Like they're so complicated and i don't want that complication lol.
I love how some feminine energy teachers teach that a boundary is an internal thing, not something you beg other people to follow. That’s another way to avoid the tactics of manipulators.
Very well-said!
Yeah I stayed in a super toxic abusive relationship for two years on and off because I kept trying to get her to acknowledge my points, only to realize one day that it’s something I have to enforce for myself, left her, I’ve never seen or spoken to her again.
Not sure it’s feminine or masculine thing I think it’s just common sense that if someone breaks agreements and hurts you, it’s our responsibility to enforce that boundary.
As my mom use to say, “you end up with what you are willing to tolerate!”
Self reflection is so key! No one ever thinks they are actually a narcissist and we all can act like one.
Accountability is necessary to heal
Love this, few are truly self aware, meaning you're NOT a narcissist. We act act like one, but true narcissists can never look at themselves.
So true ❤
Remember boundaries are for you to enforce, other people usually will not respect the boundaries unless you enforce them.
So wise for young twenties. I'm 68 years old and just starting shadow work. I got some catching up to do.🤣😂🤣
Common ! You are doing that,s what matters
@Jyotsnashows Thank you!💖
way not to be manipulative yourself is to be 100% honest and truth for manipulation is based on lies. Being honest to yourself and to others takes courage because many people are afraid to do so
Yes and in situations where others are brought into an interpersonal drama, you will stand out as the honest one being truthful when you also admit to your part to play or potential wrong behaviour and the other party is just playing victim and not owning their part to play
Being 100% honest is not the same as not being manipulative. Sorry to say it, but the simple act of telling the truth does not absolve you of engaging in manipulation. You can say true things that you believe and say them in a certain way in a certain time without even intending to have any specific effect, and this can be manipulation. Manipulation does not have to be intentional. It doesn't need to be a lie. It doesn't have anything to do with courage or fear.
Manipulation is the act of stripping someone of choice, and this can be accomplished even when attending to your sincere, plainly spoken experience. It is also about extracting something from someone. Given that this can be a sincere desire, and even a mundane one at that (e.g., "Want to get a cup of coffee sometime?"), it is incredibly difficult to avoid manipulation outright as we engage in it near constantly and in ways that we don't even realize.
All of this considered together, what we're really concerned with isn't manipulation, per se, but rather malignant and harmful manipulation. A therapist consciously manipulates their patient into living with more productive and adaptive schemas. A potential romantic partner sincerely tries to appeal to you to attract a reciprocated interest. None of this is particularly harmful or concerning. What strikes us as being repugnant in manipulation is when someone objectifies another person and uses them as a means for their own ends, irrespective of the person as an end in themself.
In essence, manipulation is not necessarily malignant, nor does it have anything to do with truthfulness or the sincere emotions of the manipulator since both true and false statements can have a manipulative effect. What we discover as harmful in manipulation is the intention towards others and their ideals as being irrelevant and beyond consideration. It is when we deprive someone of their personhood and ability to choose, and likewise, when we divorce ourselves from our empathy towards this person.
As a final note, I should state that most people are confused about empathy. Many feel bad when other people feel bad, and this is normal, but this is not the act of mature empathy. Empathy is not about your personal feeling. The act of empathizing, in a mature way that is, is not to feel the emotion of the other and attempt to pacify this feeling within yourself by saying how sorry you are that they're going through something and how bad you feel that something bad has happened to them. This common action takes the focus off of the other person and places it squarely on the self. Instead of "this is terrible," you get something like "I feel bad about this for you," and this is not empathy. This is a difficult specification to understand, and I have not explained it particularly well, but it boils down to where the focus of feeling is: the self, or the other. Many people, and I mean many, think they are a font of empathy when, in reality, they are self-obsessed, and I think we are all guilty of this to some degree.
In everything, I wish to say that all of what I have written is a matter of degrees rather than absolutes. We all fall into these things sometimes, and this is acceptable as far as it is reasonable to give people realistic standards. There is a point, however, where people go too far, and this is, I would argue, what people are actually talking about when speaking of manipulation and the like.
@@ym2931 not all manipulation is based on lies. You can also manipulate people using the truth, in numerous ways. Being honest IS a great way to halt most unintentional manipulation tho. When using the truth, it's much more difficult to remain unaware of what you're doing.
6:51 LITERALLYYYYYYYYYYYYY WITH THE COMPLIMENTS, the men who’ve manipulated me in the past always used phrases like “I can’t imagine my life without you” then will switch it up 360 and make you the villain
Yep! Another one is "no one understands me like you do" aka "i know you will put up with endless amounts of my bs and abuse and manipulation and that is why I love you"
This thread here is so real and so valuable.
My friend is a manipulator (narcisssistic) I was with her for more than 7 years. She literally admitted into being a narcissistic and she was proud of it. I was kinda tired when i was around her because she literallly took all my energy away for the entire day and Ithought it was just my probvlem and i literally talked w her about my insecurity of not being social enough even though im actually pretty social. Now, I know the tactics that she used on me and im so much happier with my other friends. Because, she is just a souless monster.
Now why was she your friend again?
@@mstwelvedeadlycyns childhood friends
@@Harryismysavior Oh yeah.🙄😑
The exact same thing is happening to me, except she’s been my friend for 6months now and we hang out everyday but no matter how I express my feelings towards something, she acts as though she empathizes however she does/says nothing.
@@alondradelamora0917 Contradiction
I will be 49 this month. You are truly helping me.
At the core, it's not about the age, it's about the milage.
Thank you for allowing me to tag along with you in your journey!
I'm old enough to not be your parent, but your grandparent! I'm in a tough spot right now, with people manipulating me from at least two sides, not realizing how bad it was in either case. Thank you. You are WAY wise beyond your years. Wish I had been anywhere near this aware in my early 20s.
I really needed this video. I’m in a relationship with a manipulator and have only just realized that nothing will change. Her emotional outbursts, blaming me for my reaction to her behavior… god what is with these people?
Tomorrow I’m breaking up with her so I can finally be free
how's everything went?
@ I managed to do it! 😁
Love this! So inspiring! My mind’s been consumed by the thought of him. It’s been 6months he left and the pain of loosing him feels like physical ache. The laughter the memories,and adventure sadly it’s all gone .i’ve tried to get my mind off him and it seems like the more I try, the more I keep thinking of him. How do people let go and move on ? Cause It’s been months and memories of my man are still fresh. I miss him so much.
Sweetheart, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My heart breaks for you and I can imagine the pain and longing you must be feeling.last year, my fiancé ended our 3yrs relationship for reasons best known to him. I would cry all night because I couldn’t imagine life without him. I want you to know that you’re not alone and I’m here for u always. I reached out to a spiritual counselor for some guidance and it really worked for me My fiancé and I are back together.
A spiritual counselor? That sounds fascinating
And how do I reach out to him .
his handle is Father Tosin, He can help rekindle the spark in any broken relationships.
Tnx for sharing that! I really appreciate your openness.
For only being 20 years old, you are already so observant and knowledgeable about this stuff! I also respect that you are making videos in spite of how daunting that must make it feel
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. - 1 Timothy 4:12
I have been in the human behavior modification field for 23 yrs. My ex-wife was probably one of the best behavior specialists in the country. She was a gorgeous woman and 9 yrs older than me. We got together when I was 23 and she was 32. I was in that relationship for almost 20 yrs. I eventually had to leave for exactly what you are explaining. She was incredible at gaslighting. I compare her to a Picasso or Rembrandt of gaslighting and manipulation. Even when I absolutely knew what she was doing it still would catch me off guard staring to believe that I did something she actually did. It was crazy. This lady had a Masters degree in Applied Behavioral Analysis and PhD courses in hypnotherapy. I caught her cheating on me and got a video of her on a date with a guy, in the beach. She had this guy wrapped around her finger and in her voice she was doing some stuff with her voice. He would say something, she would reinforce the behavior and then pair that reinforcer with a voice tone change. She was creating a conditioned reinforcer with the freaking tone and pitch of her voice. That’s some manipulation. There are people out there with these skills. She was also recently diagnosed, by the county with Borderline Personality Disorder.
A psychologist manipulating people like that and being diagnosed herself... So fucking contradictory and ironic. That's why psychology is a hard and tough job to master, because you gotta keep yourself sane as well and that's the most important part. I'm sorry that happened to you, but I'm glad you left her and are probably doing better now, at least than her.
My girl, 57 yrs young here - and you are onto it! ‘Put yourself as an authority in your own life, first and foremost’ Whew - yes!!! I started a bit younger than you and spent my spare time studying world religions just asking and praying for wisdom - it is the one thing, yes ONE thing that is across all of them said to be available to those who just ask for it. Seems you’ve been seeking 😊
i'm 66 dear- you are so very right on- good that you are sharing this- i grew up thinking/believing/being manipulated i was the problem
LISTEN TO THE LADY EVERYONE!
Girl, you are so on point with all of this I don’t know how you are so wise
Me and my friend know a guy who’s a textbook manipulator, we both caught his vibes and now we are kinda playing with him cause he’s not aware we know each other so we wanna see how far in his bs he can get
Btw loved the end of the video, you’re so level headed and self-aware
lol 😂 ya break him down
Ooh I want an update!
My petty side says yes but my low tolerance for extra stress says no 😂
fallacy 6: with the friends situation. my best friend and i have been friends for 8 years. it has lasted this long because we allow each other to have other friends, even if we don't like their other friend. we just keep it real, if they start talking about me she will drop them as a friend and i will do the same for her. but we allow each other to go out with different people all the time. back during our school days we were always hanging out but the older we got the more we wanted to be around other people as well.
this is how we set healthy boundaries and allow each other our own space.
Love how you're breaking down these manipulation tactics! It's so important to recognize how easily we can fall for these tricks without realizing it. The way you explain logical fallacies and biases makes it super relatable and easy to understand. Thanks for looking out for us, bestie! 🙌💡
So this is what having an emotionally intelligent bestfriend feels like 🥺 thank you so muchhhh. I have a very short attention span, but I found myself watching your videos from start till the end and I’m learning a lot!
The fourht fallacy and the dead grandma thing is halirious tho.
"WHY DID YOU CHEAT ON ME WITH MY SISTER?!"
"My father was killed by leprechauns in England-"
You get prettier every day girlll love you!!!
For real, she's so pretty
Bence de abla!!
@@Jeniffer61867 - Reminds you a bit of Margot Robbie.
GLAZE
@@kaitlynkarol4600heck yeah!
Not all love bombing is intentional. If I blindly follow my heart, I will love bomb my crushes. After the honeymoon period of the first six months or so I will return to my normal self.
There wasn't always a name for that, and the label helped me understand my own tendencies.
New relationships are exciting and it's very easy to get rose colored glasses and forget in the moment that you need to introduce them to how you are when you aren't around someone who fascinates you because eventually they will be normal and I will return to my normal state that they never got to see because of my excitement.
It's not always evil, it is often short sighted.
True, but extra love and attention isn't necessarily lovbombing. People with insecure attachments tend to do it on a much smaller level (especially ppl with bpd). While I understand we should be aware of our actions and how we come off to people, if your not lovebombing to gain anything, I wouldn't call it lovebombing. Moreso just a sign that a person is insecure or latching onto the next new thing (which tbh is totally normal in my eyes to some exent
Edit: This isn't me trying to discredit what your saying at all, I'm just trying to explain that it's ok to give yourself grace. Ik when I was in a bad state I assumed I was a toxic monster and used terms like that to tear myself down. So this might be a major projection lol. Anyways, self awareness is good, but try not to be too harsh on yourself
Lovebombing is a sign of impulsively and emotional immaturity.
Excitement is normal and fine b/c much of this is showing interest - esp if you're an extrovert. But if you do it in a very over-the-top way that is too aggressive, it's showing emotional instability. There's a reason it's called love-bombing - this is an oxymoron b/c if you love someone you shouldn't be bombing them! That sounds violent b/c it's the unstable and unpredictable thing it defines. It's dangerous to be there b/c this is where there is a fine line b/w love & hate...which will usu. tend to burn out before it takes off. That blurry line is super toxic.
Maybe the better wording for what you're describing is love flooding b/c you're love-drowning as you're swimming & bathing in the luxurious feelings of love and showering your partner w/ all that emotion is what falling in love is. Water also symbolizes emotion which includes cleansing, sex, and birth and represents life. Bombing represents death!
Bombing is what it sounds like - too hot, explosive, erratic and destructive. I want to ''drown in the sea of love" like Stevie Nicks sings about in the song 'Sarah', not be burned by some flame-thrower whose love will just as easily hate me, destroy or kill me. That is not (healthy) love actually - that is just lust and selfish lust at that. Lust takes b/c it's emotional immaturity; love gives b/c it's emotional maturity.
I get your point, but when your brain chemistry settles down some, you do reconnect to your normal state as you said but it's just more balanced - or should aim to be: navigating crazy life w/ calm & peaceful love is healthy vs doing crazy life w/ crazy love which equals insanity or high school love. We all should run far from that!
@@kaitlynkarol4600 it's hard for me to draw the line. It isn't set in stone, different people will disagree what is one and what is the other.
@@elinope4745 - Although certain language is slang-ish and not really thought out well to be considered an 'official' kind of word or phrase, that doesn't mean we shouldn't objectively look at it beyond the opinion/ subjective view by using some common sense and applying some logic from deeper thinking. It's pretty simple when you think about it - bombing someone w/ love is an oxymoron. It contradicts what love is and is supposed to be in a healthy relationship.
If we just toss words around randomly and let everyone have an opinion only w/out any baseline for facts, we are in real trouble. Some words can be creatively edited to fit our own lives so if you don't care for the emotional description of water (which is how emotions are symbolized as a universal knowledge), then fine to use your own creative replacement for 'bomb' but if you're having a hard time drawing the line as you say, b/w one concept to the other, that tends to denote a more serious issue.
Some ppl struggle w/ mental illness - esp cluster B disorders who are the ones the term 'love bombing' was created for. Some thoughtful research will help clarify this if you didn't know. It's not really a subjective matter as there are psychology-related scientific facts and relevant language that defines it better than older terms we grow tired of. Language in some instances may be fluid, but their meanings are NOT fluid. This becomes a matter of semantics if it's only a debate about wording b/c we can be saying the same thing but just saying it differently. But - this is not the same thing as using a word that is NOT at all saying the same thing. Nuance in meaning matters and is what is used to build the bigger picture w/ the facts too - not just our biases.
If it's about your behavior, it sounds like it could be a mental illness of some kind or something at least unhealthy if not a mental disorder. We can have diseased thoughts w/out having a diseased mind but that is up for a DR to decide and also, the open mind of the one who's confused about the issue which needs to be clarified and not so ambiguous. Love is a big deal - not like the emotionally detached/ fleeting fun that rich spoiled types have when buying & then selling a stunning mansion or a sexy car. This easy disposability factor is not making a firm commitment.
Sorry for any mistakes english isn't my first language
I have an extreme kind of manipulator as a house mate. He got me kicked from my home by talking bad about me and straight up lying and framing things in a bad way.
Somehow he seems to get away with screwing people over all the time. He literally gave an unconscious person a brandy and explained it as "a sign of brotherhood".
We had a party in our house and he brought a friend with him. It started pretty well. We had fun together until later at the party when his friend got tired and ready for bed.
The housemate in question asked me to pursue him to drink more, to wich I said no. Since that didn't worked out he got some speed (a stimulant) on his finger and sticked it into the mouth of his friend. That poor guy puked his heart and soul out.
He really wanted to clean up after himself but wasn't in the mental state to do so anymore. I gave him new socks and he tried to clean his puke with it..I ended up cleaning it up since I'm desensitized working with children anyways. When I questioned my roommate about why the hell he did that he just said "because I know how much he can take".
I still see that friend around every now and then and I just ask myself why.
Sometimes he steals stuff from us too. I used to have a very pretty skirt which I lend to another person. Somehow my housemate got his hands on it and asked me wether it's okay if he wears it without his 🩲. I said "nein" as clear as this word could be said and he still did it. Later on he... committed reproductive actions with his girlfriend in it - in front of me-.
When he was asked wether he replaced that skirt he went on yelling at me for about an hour. When I talked about it with another housemate she told me that I deserved it because apparently I started the conversation during the party (I didn't).
I started to avoid him since that was the only thing in my budget. Moving away used to be out of question because I couldn't afford it.
I was pushed to talk with him by two of our housemates. Those two were basically his flying monkeys during the talk. They talked down everything I said while protecting his fragile ego when I tried to make clear that he has to change his behavior towards people. He responded with having "lost all respect towards me" and that I have to "earn it with time". The conversation was over with that. I was supposed to pretend like everything was okay again and even tried my best to adjust to that for some reason. Nothing has really changed from his side, tho.
He was asked to keep an eye on our cat and agreed to do that. He didn't tho and the cat ran away. I tried to find them in the neighborhood alone at first. He wouldn't even care to go around the block to look for them, even though technically he had some responsibility in that situation. I asked him wether he even feels a bit of guilt and he said "no". He let someone else argue for him while staring at me. (The cat is safe and sound now. Two of us put some flyers around the City which helped us finding them again). On top of that he stole something gifted to me from a friend with the expectation of it being okay because "it was just lying around". Again I confronted him about it and he threatened me to bully me like he bullied the last person who was kicked out because of him. Not really knowing what to do I tried to give him no reason to do so by not getting into too much contact with him. He started to ignore me, giving me the silent treatment with which I was really okay with since I wasn't interested in talking to him anyways. He said that he wants to move away with his girlfriend but apparently that was just a manipulation tactic adressed to our landlord who would rather have one person (me) moving out instead of two.
He is very disrespectful towards boundaries and has no regards for anyones safety and yet everyone seems to be okay with that. He can avoid any kind of consequences somehow.
One of his best friends told him that the way he behaves isn't okay and that the only reason he is friends with him is codependency and he sees that as a compliment and proof for their friendship.
I really liked the city.. And the cat bonded with me quite a bit (in fact they are taking a nap on me as I write). I will miss both very much but at least I've got a lot of life experience from my time here...
Better to leave and have barely any money than stick with such treatment. I left a place where i had two room mates who bullied me, without having enough money to get a home. I just asked around who could take me in, until i get a home. It was my situationship guy, who took me in and i got a home soon after. Those girls even tried to frame money out of me, but i got some help and eventually it was clear that they were just trying to use my naivety to get money. Who knows what kind of stuff they could have pulled at me, had i stayed there any longer. At least that was my experience, but not every situation is the same.
You are listing crimes
If you are german, these things are strafbar by FREIHEITSSTRAFE OMG
That sounds like a psycho. I'm so sorry you had to deal with this.... hope you never have to deal with him again
That's beyond wild. Sorry you had to go through all that. Glad you got to express it cuz that's a lot.
hahaha “i love you baby, i love you” classic 😂, I’m 62 and still don’t have the skills…I’m still learning. That’s exactly what they say. Don’t ever underestimate your worth or ability. Keep up the great work ❤
The timing couldn’t be better…. My dad had a nasty conversation with my sister and when I went to confront him, instead of talking about the actual conversation, he spent 2 hours telling me how I have failed him too and that he was actually the victim in the situation and that I knew nothing. I was like yeah….no that’s okay. When your argument is on topics from 10+ years ago when I was a literal CHILD, I don’t think we have anything credible here to fall on. 😅 After the conversation I felt absolutely awful, like I was the one that was wrong and apologized, but the further away I am from the conversation, the more I see how far from the truth that was.
Yikes! I hope you can set major boundaries with him.
@@StephieGsrEvolution setting boundaries, especially with my family is difficult for me. Are there some examples that you may have that I could start to implement that might help me in this situation?
Same here but the solution I can come up with is financially being independent and moving out and avoiding them as much as possible.@@Bassynater2500
resrrict access to particular days!
Hey- I'm one of the older people you were talking about. I admit I need to learn these things even though I'm in my 40s. I grew up heavily manipulated in a narcissistic family and I need to learn as much as I can since I was raised by wolves.
you literally remind me of myself and i think thats why ive found your channel so inspiring. Keep doing what you're doing Queen! Your authentic self is glowing!!!
The thing about older people is experience… but people with good intentions act with gratitude and humility
Someone had a go at me in a group chat recently. They seemed to be implying that I was weirdly fixated on only replying to them. They ticked off quite a few on this list. Others treat her like some sort of Queen Bee but I see who she is. She got angry when I stayed calm and civil whilst also clarifying my position (without over explaining). I didn't play their game and I was proud of how I handled it. I used to think if someone was upset with me I must have done something wrong without realising or there's been a misunderstanding but now I realise some people are narcissistic and like playing head games with others.
Wow, man. This girl is so pretty, smart, and wise. Out here literally exposing the tactics of manipulators and narcissists. Talk of the whole package.
I’m 30 learning from you video! I have shut out a few family members bc they emotional exhaust me! I’m a mom now I just wanna set a good example for my children!!
i swear you get prettier with every vid! love to see you flourish girl, more power to you xx
I struggle with making boundaries but that is something I will need to start doing. Its good for the mental health and you have explained why my mental health was low in the video... LOL. These are the problems with having so many ways to avoid accountability, that person has to apologize and change for the better.
im 42. im "more credible" in some cases because i have more experience but that experience is limited in many aspects. thats why i always listen to perspectives of all age groups and learn a lot from you too.
Interesting! What you pointed out are definetely true in many cases. I think the problem with manipulation is even more complicated and we might have already been manipulated multiple times today already. Manipulation could just be trying to turn a conversation in favor of of our belief system. Educating someone or taking a stance could already be at the origin of a form of manipulation. The accumulation of small details like that could have a huge impact on our belief system in the long term.
-Manipulation could also be a problem concerning our past that have influenced our belief system today. In our chilhood and teenage years, the neuroplasticity is stronger so we tend to build a strong foundation of our personality during that period. People surrounding us until the present highly shape our belief system. If we meet people with different stance, we will likely feel manipulated by those new ideas but if we are not flexible to understand and question someone else position is probably because we have already been maniupulated during our past.
If people learn to hate a politican and do everything in the extreme opposite sense, it will make them go to an extreme.
- What I could observe is that 90% of the population could not maintain objectivity in so many situations. It will lead to connect false ideas to our belief system and everything will trigger negativity. Is it due to manipulation? Certainly. Infleunces are not necessarly bad if people do that because they feel it is good for us. (There are a lot of people abusing of others though)
- As far as what we believe, our emotions write the narrative of our thought and our expectation is influencing the way we react. We could program everything and anticipate how we will react to uncertainty and new ideas conflicting with the old ones.
- On the other side, if we are scared to be manipulated then we will be closed minded and reject flexibility. As a result, the fear of manipulation will lead to the inability to change, knowing that everybody have been manipulated so many times in the past.
Difficult topic but I will advise to focus on our personal story and reflect. Try to build a thinking system that could make you dependant and generate your own thought based on your experience.
- Try to hang out with different style of people, or trying to travel abroad to get new perspective in life. In fact, bring diversity of tought into your life so you can learn more about yourself. Your surroundings and people from your town are just 1% of the world and you will be surprised how people arround the world view things differently.
You are very wise! I deeply believe that deception is such a vital thing to understand, especially nowadays with AI.
By the time you’re my age (41) you’re gonna be beyond deception-proof!! I have learned from you 🌸
this format really suits me
Taking your mistakes running with them to use as leverage to prevent you from making boundaries. It is important to know if the person is trying to change or is just trying to put you back in the loop again. Regardless usually this situation that person is not trying to find a solution....🙄
Seriously, when that person doesn't like the the boundarie that was set they will often use tactics like the way you speak at your lowest; taking whatever you say and turning it to something completely different, but mostly as a way to project onto you, making you feel like you did something wrong. However, I'm quite the opposite because I have a problem with doing alot of self reflecting 😂 but yeah projection is definitely the flash bangs you got to be aware of and to not let that confuse you.
Where have u been all my past 5 years 😭💞
You are young but your right about the fact that you have to let go this people.
I personnaly tried to help my cousin for 10 years now, i was thinking that he had a bad behavior/philosophie/psychological state. And i want childrens, so i was thinking that a i must be able to help people just in case my childrens would be like this.
At the end i lost my time, it didn't work to good for him, but it made me grew a better person on any points. Helping people is the key for yourself but we have to not focus to much on one person. At the end we need something else.
Your giggle is so cute :') enjoyable to listen to your articulation of your understandings! Thanks for sharin. 🌻:)
Post no contact and I realized how abusive and manipulative I am. A lot of this stuff I’ve done and can completely understand. I’m trying to change my ways and not hurt anyone I care about anymore
You have to immune yourself .
By thinking you are always right.
It will save you from doubting yourself
never been so fast omg cant wait to watch
never been this early. i NEED this so much because i've always manipulated hahaha. thanks natalie youre the best
the end is gold! ty
i love u natalie
thankyou philosopher psychologist margot robbie
My parents are this way, and unfortunately, when I tried to set boundaries and be non-reactive, they got physically violent
Same. Not parents though. ❤ when they can’t manipulate your mind they attack your body and property.
I'm showing this to my daughter! Great 👍 ❤
Thank you for putting this video out, it really made me realize how manipulative I have been in the past.
YEAH, please 🙏 fix that gap broken window blinds. Scary AF even if you're not on ground level.
I’ve been having this epiphany again and again. Having been someone who’s expressed emotional distress to someone and not being heard cuz it seems people are hyper on guard against emotional manipulation -and I’m not discrediting your claims against it-, we tend to set unrealistic expectations on people don’t we? We really need to take a step back and analyze why we have these unrealistic expectations cuz there must be a good outlet for these desires. I’m saying it’s not people.
Thank you I’ve realised some of my own ways there but you’ve also alerted me to some that are used on me by loved ones :(
The best way to not be manipulated is to love yourself and others. Respect yourself and the planet and animals.
I love the professor look you had going today.
Fun fact: even seemingly good people can manipulate you subconsciously. So the next time you feal like someone is manipulating you, but you're like ,,no they wouldn't, they're to nice and cool" bcs they actually might.
Thanks, I'm doing the same. Life is full of manipulators, especially this day in age
Girl ur content is gold
Deadass, I've watched a couple of your videos and I want to find friends like you. I vibe.
I am on the spectrum and sometimes I am just too honest as a result, people think I am manipulating them, Often, I feel people think I am using my autism as an excuse for my behavior and when I try to explain that this is just how my brain works they don't believe me,
th best way to avoid to get manipulated is by self respect and boundries and staying true to yourself aswell + everything you said .... right ?
is what i said a manipulation tactic
I’m pretty difficult to manipulate and I’ve felt the frustration it’s caused a few people
Ahead of your time, amazing advice!
About the Harvard/Elder argument, I think it is safe to assume those groups as a whole have greater wisdom. Of course, you should treat every individual with the skepticism due to everyone else. However, you should not be surprised if individuals from those groups are more wise than their counterparts.
Yes and psychopath and narcissist is so dangerous because they might not show their hate.
@@reettaelina Right. They don't show it. People lie about credentials on the internet. It's pathetic.
Okay but your SET UP..love it 💞💞 now lemme watch the video lol
Great video! Keep the good work up.
This is very true!! Be aware of the tactics people use on you 💗😎😘
I’m surprised to be so early
I’m 61, and you’re the shit 🎉
Amen yes I been learning more
Great video 👏 You nailed it. Thank you 🙏
Thanks Nat I needed this. 💖♾
sometimes they dont have actual charisma they just got close to you enough and its hard to distinguish you are manipulated - just saying so youll still be aware.
girly pop you always come on my feed its a sign to subscribe and keep up with all the tips! tyy ❤☝️
Interestingly this is really good advice for work relationships as well.
guys,I recommend mark Manson's book "the subtle art of not giving a f*ck",it gives a more deeper outlook on life and like..some manipulation tactics people use,and how they think. Probably my favorite book.
There is no winning in an argument. When you come into this mentality you realize there's no point in putting in so much emotional energy into it.
Wow, what a great video. 👏 bravo.
Honestly, I just play along because it is so tiring and at the end of the day, it’s always my fault😮💨
Subscribed! I loved this video 🩷
17:20
I was breaking up with my boyfriend and he went "I would love to know what your therapist said to you because she brainwashed you"
Im sorry what???
18:00 he also spent a whole week making passive aggressive comments about how I wad going to cheat because i was going to a haunted house with my sister and her girlfriends. Since I was wearing a long dress (i was dressing up as a Witch) he'd make comments about how easy it would be to just pull up my dress for others 🤢
EWWW I'm so glad you broke up with him, congrats on your romantic freedom 🎉
That’s creepy AF! 😮 Not a good human…
Useful skills.
why is her wall breathing😭
Shr00mz lol jk... a fan
😂
It's a curtain
@@glossipsu yer trippin
God puts life in all things
The more experience and confrontation I find myself in, the easier it gets to remove emotion. It's damn difficult to start.
I have subscribed because almost i passed thru this,lols maximum respect to your content
I use these videos to study and analyze my dad :3
Was gonna say something mildly misogynistic like "a woman who looks like you should be the one doing the manipulation, not getting manipulated" and was immediately ashamed. I don't approve of or encourage manipulation tactics, and am kinda disappointed that I'm capable of diminishing either the goodness or vulnerability of another person.
Thank you for this info ❤
Had a buddy who used to compliment bomb and I would give him the cold shoulder 'til he dropped it. My ego needs no shine, certainly not from someone whose beggar status was clear from the get.
I personally like the way she’s talks about this despite me being a guy (I still understand this, and LOVE the feminine energy)
My coworker is a narcissist and I feel like he’s tried to manipulate and confuse me quite a few times plus he always tries to downplay everything I say and do and acts like I’m stupid. I can’t stand him he makes me so uncomfortable I’ve been trying to just ignore him unless I have to talk to him bc of work but other than that I just let him talk to himself but he keeeps trying to talk to me and won’t leave me alone and I’ve noticed he only does it to me. He’s kinda giving me obsessive vibes bc I’ve made it known I don’t wanna be his friend but he keeps trying and forcing himself on to me pretty much.
I actually remember ethos part being exactly about framing ones actions, like I did this, this and that and therefore I am right/moral person. The authority or legitimacy is just a byproduct.
I like linking pathos with love bombing, and I would add up the "I'm sorry you feel that way." kind of apology that is actually not an apology.
I also agree that confirmation bias is not a joke.
Also, I would beg to differ about the unconscious manipulator-I guess you mistake it for an unconscious bully, like when you tear someone's self esteem down without even realizing you are jealous. This, however, is not manipulation, the latter is intentional, people who manipulate know exactly what they're doing and what for, this is unrelated to shadow self, as this is entirely in ego (conscience)-it looks after your actual needs, reconciling your id (subconscious) with your moral values, this was never the work of id itself.
Keep up the good work, sweetie
unrelated but u look amazing with glasses